01x10 - Three More Years

[bunniefuu]

♪ Smooth like butter,
like a criminal undercover ♪

♪ Gon' pop like trouble ♪

♪ Breaking into your heart
like that ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

Which led to
the Great Train Wreck of 1918

on Dutchman's Curve.

Alicia: Oh, my God!

Speaking of train wrecks,
Ms. Gomez, you okay?

Have you ever had
a front-row seat to love?

Oh, God, is Mr. Escalante
doing the thing

where he lets squirrels eat
a cookie out of his mouth again?

No. [ Scoffs ]

A promposal
is about to go down.

Come on.
I love Winter Formal Week.

Look! She's nervous.

He's reaching into his coat
and pulling out...

spray paint?

Yep, that's
Ethan and Skyler,

the school's
number-one vandals.

You guys rank vandals?

That's weird.

They're the ones
who hacked into

Principal Maris' Venmo account
and sent everybody a dollar.

-Hmm.
-Oh, no, that was actually me.

Well, these two
are in love.

Look, he's drawing her a heart
with an arrow through it.

Oh, no, Ms. G,
that's not a heart.

That's a butt with a --

Can we go back to prepping
for our debate?

Sorry.

I love this kind of stuff.

It may come as a total shock,

but I actually didn't go
to any of my school dances.

No, that tracks.

Very funny.

I skipped them 'cause I was
studying like

you're all probably
gonna do.

Miss a chance to be at school
in the dark?

No way.

Yeah, we all decided
to go as a group.

Uh, unless Griffin
promposes to me --

ideally, with a cameo
from "Dateline's"

Keith Morrison, where he makes
a clever m*rder pun.

He knows you that well,
you marry him.

You marry him good.

Hey, the dance
is this Friday.

Why are you waiting on Griffin?
You should ask him.

He would be so lucky.

You're right.
What am I waiting for?

Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!

Did you paint your nails
right before class again?

No!

I'm fanning away the tears
'cause you guys --

you have come so far!

I mean, you're making time
for school and fun? Check.

Rallying around your friend?
Check.

This is exactly what I hoped

teaching would feel like
when I came here!

Checkety check check!

Yeah, I checkety checked out
halfway through that.

♪♪

That's an ugly butt.

Tell that to my
Instagram followers.

Sorry, I was just talking
about what I'd say

to the two vandals
if I ever caught them.

Oh.
I talk to myself, too.

In the mirror.

"Hey, girl, you're
a motherfriggin' warrior!

Bump it."

I do it gently 'cause I did
break it the one time.

You have disrespected me.

Oh, no, no, no.
I love the custodial arts.

No, t-that was me talking
to the vandals again.

We are finished.

Now, that one was to you.

Weird convo.

But I like you.

Damn it, who keeps
practice-kissing the windows.

Oh, that's nothing.

You should see what I do
to the bathroom mirror.

I weep for our youth.

Why are you
wearing a blazer?

It looks like you're about
to explain

to a group of superheroes
the technology that's at stake.

I could, uh, maybe pass as
Bruce Banner.

I don't know
who that is.

Uh, the superintendent's
coming by today,

so you may want to change
into something that

doesn't scream,
"I had spaghetti today."

I did it on purpose.

It says, "I am
a dedicated teacher

that works
through lunch."

It says, "I chomp
like a Muppet."

Anyway, um, I'm thinking about
going with a literary theme

for Winter Formal.

Check it out.
We'll have "Edgar Allan Punch"

and "Of Mice and Memories
photo booth."

You really can make
anything homework.

Do you have a better idea?

How about
snow, sleigh rides?

You know, do cold stuff.

Cold stuff?

[ Scoffs ] Seriously?

Actually, that's not bad.

Hey, what if you plan
and co-chaperone with me?

Well, seeing as this will be
my first dance,

you would have
to ask me properly.

Oh, right, right.
[ Clears throat ]

[ Awkwardly ] Uh, if you're not
doin' anything Friday night,

I don't know, uh, would you want
to co-chaperone the dance

with me or, like, whatever?

[ Awkwardly ]
Oh, but I don't know.

My curfew is 10:00.

I would love to.

[ Chuckles ]

Not so fast.
How are you gonna ask Griffin?

Politely, discreetly --
you know, Milesy.

I'm just gonna walk up
to him and say,

"Do you want to go
to the dance with me?"

Yeah, that'd be great
if you're looking to buy

a one-way ticket
to Rejection City.

Yeah, where
Luke's the mayor.

But he does kind of
have a point.

Yeah, buddy,
you've got to go big.

Look, I know
what you're thinking.

Go bigger.
Take that, double it.

Take that, triple it.

Take that, inject it
with steroids!

Maybe I could saunter up
with a sparkly sign?

Or you could do
something amazing,

like buy him
a thousand yellow daisies.

Saw it on "Gilmore Girls."

Didn't Lorelai eventually
dump that guy?

Whatever.

No, ignore her.

Buy Griffin a balloon.

Okay, that sounds
reasonable.

Then hire a guy to charter
said hot air balloon.

And you're done.

Miles, here's
the perfect promposal.

Get him a rescue puppy.

If that doesn't convince him
to go with you,

we'll have a dog
for the next 14 years.

Uh, Miles, you have all of
"Romeo and Juliet"

memorized, right?

sh**t. I have
an English test next period.

But as for Griffin --

Miles, I, like,
really need you.

So, actually,
I just saw your face

and I wanted
to get you away from them.

Oh, thank you.

Also, I have the perfect idea
for a promposal.

Nowhere is safe.

[ Bell rings ]

♪♪

Knock, knock.

Superintendent Pearson,
I'm so sorry I'm late.

I was, um --

Referring to yourself
as a motherfriggin' warrior?

Okay, so, you're
not a janitor.

Posing as one helps me
get a feel

for the school,
behind the scenes.

Hmm,
"Undercover Boss"-style.

Because I'm a boss
who goes undercover

to spy on his employees.

Such a lazy comparison.

[ Chuckles ]
Yes, you wanted to see me?

Uh, my sense on you is that
you are a high-energy,

blunt, unfiltered teacher

who speaks to
the students as equals.

Also has windswept hair
and an infectious laugh.

[ Laughs ]

But, otherwise,
super good job.

I'm very perceptive.

Plus, Principal Maris
wrote that in her report.

Huh.

She almost spelled
my name right.

So close.

Look, the school board
is trying to retain

teachers that we value,

so we would like you to sign
a three-year contract.

Three years?

Ooh! It's getting
really hot in here.

It's -- [ Gasps ]

Great! Now I have to become
the janitor again.

Wow!
What happened here?

While I'm cleaning this up,
you can sign.

Yeah, um, I don't know,
because, like, how will I know

that I still want to do this
in a few years?

Like, three years
is a long commitment,

and I can't even commit
to an eyebrow shape.

Try a "W."
I haven't seen that.

So, you don't want
the job security here

at Meadows Creek High?

No, no, no,
of course I do.

I just -- I want to make sure
that this is my passion.

So can I have some time
to think about it?

Sure, you take all the time
you need.

Just tell me by tomorrow,
or have a nice life.

Whassup, Griffie...
my liege?

No, that's stupid.

Oh.

Miles, if you're
gonna curtsy,

you got to put
some depth into it.

Huh?

Griffin should be here
any minute.

Sure, we just wanna know
which promposal you chose.

Did you go
with the daisies?

Yeah, did you time-travel
back to the year 2000,

when "Gilmore Girls"
premiered?

Hey, hey,
the mother-daughter bond

between Sophia and Dorothy
is timeless.

You're thinking of
"Golden Girls."

Oh.

I'm betting you went
with my idea.

I don't think he's gonna go
with a promposal

that he has to walk
five times a day.

I just want a puppy!

Whoa. Lots of choices,
only one good one.

Hot air balloon?

Look, time is running out,

and I need to ask him
in my own way,

so use your ideas
to get your own dates.

See, there's too many ladies
to choose from.

If I were to pick one,
the others --

all the others --
would be hurt.

On behalf of all women,
we're good.

[ Chuckles ]

With those big ol' paws
and those floppy ears!

Will someone get this girl
a puppy, because --

-Nobody's getting her a dog.
-Please stop.

Miles, we just want
to help you, okay?

And you're
wasting my time.

I need to ask Griffin
before it's too late.

♪ You got me seein' stars ♪

Um, yeah, I'll --
I'll go with you.

Miles, are you okay?

No. If I had ignored you and
done what I wanted to do,

I'd be going with Griffin,
and not Dominick.

Now they're probably
gonna fall in love.

Thanks a lot.

Dude?

Hey, just in time
for the punch tasting.

So, I added a super-secret
ingredient.

Nutmeg.

Hey, can we do this later?

I just met the superintendent,
and, um,

he offered me
a three-year contract.

Oh, seriously?!

Oh!

That's awesome!

I -- Sorry, I -- Puh!

Nothin' but net!

Now we know
why you were fired

as the assistant
basketball coach.

Okay, sorry, I'm just excited
at this amazing news!

Yeah. It's great.

Then why does your face look
like you're in line at the DMV?

Because if I sign it,

then this job is
no longer a stopgap,

it's a career
as a professional teacher.

Yeah, screw those
selfless do-gooders

who form
the backbone of society.

No, no,
it's great for you

because you have
limited options.

I mean, because this is
where you settled.

I am saying really dumb things
because I'm --

In the midst
of a quarter-life crisis?

I prefer to call it
a young-lady crisis.

Nothing to be proud of.

Look, you have made an impact
here on everyone,

especially your students.

That's true.

They were telling me today
that they're, uh,

taking a break
from studying on their own,

and they're going
to the dance together.

They're like
a little family.

And I'm their Dom Toretto.

Right, you "Fast and Furious"
those kids!

[ Deep voice ] 'Cause it's
all about family, yeah.

[ Laughs ]

Oh, this is
all your fault.

I'm serious.

Isn't that spoon calling
the fork silver?

If it wasn't for you, none of
this would have happened.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
hey, what's going on?

Miles missed his chance
to ask out Griffin.

Ohh.

And now he won't even
go to the dance.

-All because of her dumb idea.
-All because of his dumb idea.

-Hers was dumber.
-His was dumber.

Okay, alright, look,
none of the ideas were great,

except for the guy
who asked Griffin.

I still have goose bumps.

I just wanted a puppy.

Nobody cares about your puppy
right now.

I could be losing
my best friend.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!

Instead of fighting,
you should be picking Miles up

and convincing him
to go to the dance with you!

He doesn't want to
talk to us,

and I'm not going
if he's not going.

Me either.

Ditto.

it feels
right in the situation.

I can't believe you guys.

I mean, Miles is sad,

and you're more worried
about who's to blame?

I thought I taught you better
than that.

So much for making them
a family.

I really thought I could
change them in a few months?

How am I supposed to do that
for another three years?

Alicia --

Here comes all the reasons
why I should stay.

"Reason, reason, reason."

No. [ Laughs ]

You know what?
I'm done trying to sell you.

I'm too busy being
a professional teacher.

No, wait. Elliot,
I didn't mean it like that.

Vandals...

either of you throw that
stink b*mb in the trash can,

and I will end you
and your adorable relationship.

God, I want what they have.

Man: She thought she was safe,

but the k*ller was closer
than she thought.

You're gonna die, sis.

Just like my heart.

Knock-knock!

Go away, grandma.

It's actually me.

I was referring
to that dress.

Hey, I'm wearing this
to the dance.

Mm. Well, it's very,
uh, floral.

Says the guy
wearing a sloth onesie.

You know I pull it off.

I know.

So, I'm sure you're here
for a great teachable moment

about how this will
only make me stronger.

Actually, I heard
what happened

and thought that you could
use some cheering up,

so I brought these two
hot men -- Ben and Jerry.

Ooh, my favorite.

Did you eat half of it?

There was traffic.

So, how you holding up?

High school sucks.

Yeah.

You know that's not
just you, right?

High school sucks even when
you're not one of the students.

Makes you wonder
if you belong there.

Uh, you've had enough.

Don't be too down.

Remember, you have
so many people

that care a lot about you.

Like, to an annoying
extent sometimes.

Yeah, I'm not mad at them.

I'm mad at myself because
I waited so long to ask Griffin.

Then everything blew up,

and now none of us
are going to the dance.

Whoa! No way! I will never
be this young again.

Why are you here?

I stopped by to cheer him up
on the way to the dance.

In that dress?

Okay, I get it.

Operation Cheer Up Miles
is a go.

Yeah, we're
not calling it that.

We came to apologize
about messing up

the whole Griffin thing.

Yeah, you were right.

We made it about us
instead of you.

And Ms. Gomez
made us realize

we have a question
for you.

I'm not gonna
buy you a puppy.

[ Chuckles ] No, no, no.
This question actually comes

from the man of your dreams
and most people's nightmares.

Hello, Miles.

Keith Morrison
from "Dateline" here.

Oh, my God.

Your friends wanted me
to ask you

if you would go
to the dance with them.

All evidence points to...

a murderously good time.

Get out!

It was kind of my idea.

Well, thanks, but you know
that's not the Keith Morrison?

It was kind of
Robyn's idea.

Well, it's the thought
that counts.

Also, I'm kind of glad
Griffin didn't ask me that way.

I think I'd miss
the excitement and glitter.

Hit it.

[ Laughter ]

So, what do you say?

Let's do this.

Right after I change.

Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!

You guys really
are like a family,

and you have
each other's backs.

And now you're going
to the dance together,

and it's all because
of my work as your teacher.

Don't k*ll
the moment, Ms. G.

Remember, if you need
new brake pads, stop by

Keith Morrison's Auto Parts.

Yeah, yeah, that's on us.

We should have watched
the end of the video.

[ Drill whirring ]

You're a handyman now?

Nope. Just a guy who hates
a squeaky hinge.

Either way, you are just the guy
I was looking for,

'cause, um, I want to take you
up on that offer.

That's great news!
Uh, which offer?

I dangle a lot of carrots
around here.

The three-year
teaching contract.

Turns out that teaching
really is my passion.

Just out of curiosity,
what brought you around?

I realized
that I belong here,

and there's a lot of people
here that care about me.

Ah, Mr. Escalante.
You figured out he likes you.

I meant my students,

but, yeah, Elliot is
my partner in crime.

No, he likes you,
likes you.

As the kids say,
he's goo-goo, ga-ga.

Kids don't say that.

And you're wrong.
We're friends.

You're probably right.

It's not like I'm some guy
who sees

and hears everything
around here.

Well, my work here
is done.

Oh, wait. Aren't I supposed
to sign something?

Oh, uh,
there was no contract.

I just wanted to know you were
committed to this place.

See you at the dance,
Ms. Gomez, once you've changed.

I already changed my jacket!

I'll call a handyman!

♪ No matter what ♪

♪ I'm yours tonight ♪

♪ Nothing's ever gonna
take us down ♪

-Whoo!
-Yeah!

♪ No matter what ♪

♪ Can't change my mind ♪

♪ Something's started,
we can't turn back now ♪

♪ Turn back now ♪

Wow!

This gym got a glow-up,
and I am here for it.

This is pretty cool.

I love cold stuff.

Luke: Look at all these
beautiful prospects.

I'm so happy I decided
to go stag.

Yeah, you decided that.

Hey, Miles.

You know what?

I'm gonna go see which one
of these ladies

is gonna
win the Luke Lotto.

After I get some punch.

I'm gonna go make
some of these boys nervous.

I'm gonna go film it.

I'm gonna stay right
under this heating vent

because it's cozy.

You know, why don't we go
warm up dancing?

Okay, yeah, sure.

So, you and Dominick
make a handsome couple.

Oh, we're not a couple.

I mean, he's cool,
but he's no Miles Alvarez.

What?!

I mean, thanks.

Save a dance for me?

Maybe.

Yes, definitely.

You know, time permitting.

Actually, how about now?

♪ Ooh, it's a mood ♪

♪ Nah-nah-nah-nah ♪

♪ Na-na-nah ♪

♪ Ooh, it's a mood ♪

Hey.

I guess
we pulled this off, huh?

Yeah, you took my idea
of cold stuff

and brought it to life.

Listen, about earlier,
I'm sorry for overreacting.

This is a big decision,
and you should totally --

I took the offer.

Seriously?

Well, turns out it was a fake
offer from a fake janitor,

but a real superintendent
that made me get really real

about what I really wanted.

Do you follow?

Not really.

Well, I'm really glad.

It will keep this place
interesting.

And you would be a mess
without me.

[ Laughs ]

Plus, I was not gonna miss
my opportunity

to get dressed up
and come to my first dance.

Yeah, you look --

I got targeted by
an Instagram ad,

and, yes, I regret it.

I was gonna say
I love it.

It's so you.

So, seeing as it
is my first dance,

I was wondering, um...

[ Awkwardly ] Would you maybe
like to, uh, dance with me?

[ Awkwardly ] Uh, well,
that sounds swell,

but I should check in
with my date.

[ Laughs ]
That's a really good twist.

I love how committed
you are to the bit.

I was, uh, serious.

I do have a date.

Oh, my God!
Elliot, I love this song.

Kelsey, this is Alicia.

Oh! I've heard
so much about you.

Cute dress.
Instagram?

Come on,
let's go dance.

You want to come?
We could dance together.

[ Laughs ]
Elliot, it's a slow song.

That would be weird.

She's right.
It would be super weird.

You two have fun. Go.

You sure?

Yeah.

♪ You were the love
of my life ♪

♪ And I'm so sorry ♪

♪ That I made you cry ♪

[ Up-tempo music plays ]

♪♪

Hey. Come on, Ms. G.
Dance with us.

♪♪

Hey, you did
pretty good tonight.

My shero.

You guys are
the best dates ever!

♪♪

[ Laughter ]

♪♪

[ Music stops, gasping ]

Classic vandals.

♪ Break it down! ♪

♪ Ooh, when I look
in the mirror ♪

♪ I'll melt your heart
into two ♪

♪ I got that
superstar glow, so ♪

♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-oh ♪

♪ Do the boogie, like ♪

♪ Side-step right-left
to my b*at ♪

♪ High like the moon,
rock with me, baby ♪

♪ Know that I got that heat ♪

♪ Let me show you
'cause talk is cheap ♪

♪ Side step right-left
to my b*at ♪

♪ Get it, let it roll ♪

♪ Smooth like butter ♪

♪ Pull you in like no other ♪

♪ Don't need no Usher ♪

♪ To remind me you got it bad ♪

♪ Ain't no other ♪

♪ That can sweep you up
like a robber ♪

♪ Straight up, I ♪

♪ Got ya ♪

♪ Making you fall like that ♪

♪ Break it down! ♪

♪ Ooh, when I look
in the mirror ♪

♪ I'll melt your heart
into two ♪

♪ I got that
superstar glow, so ♪

♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ♪

♪ Do the boogie, like ♪

♪ Side-step right-left
to my b*at ♪

♪ High like the moon,
rock with me, baby ♪

♪ Know that I got that heat ♪