03x16 - The First Adventure!

[bunniefuu]

I've done nothing, 22.
Nothing!

You were trying to blow up
Mount Neverrest.

That's ridiculous.

I was trying to carve my face
into Mount Neverrest.

It would've been an improvement.

[laughs]

So, uh, sir, as you can see,

our unpredictable
SHUSH escapades

are costing us millions.

A chaotic event occurs,
we respond with even more chaos.

So rather than wait

for another villain
to thr*aten the world,

why don't we
take over the world.

Wait a second.

You're saying we gonna go bad,

like those terrible villains?

Of course not, sir.

We simply defeat
all who oppose us,

reign in any
unpredictable factors,

and efficiently run the world

from the shadows
with an iron fist, yes?

[laughs]

Right.

Request denied.

Bradford my boy,
I gave you this job over here

as a favor to your granny-mama,

but you have got to get
this kooky bad-guy stuff

out of your crazy
little head there.

It's not bad-guy stuff,
you shortsighted buffoon, it's--

All right.

SHUSH is a world-saving
organization,

not a world-stealing one.

[laughing]

Besides, what does a sharp
pencil accountant

know about world domination
anyways?

Not enough...

-on my own.
-[elevator dings]

We simply run the world from
the shadows with an iron fist.

And you call this...?

OWL. "The Organization
for World Larceny."

We'll steal the world
out from under SHUSH,

take control,
and make a tidy profit.

I don't know.

Sounds a little bleh.

Oh, what if we add an F?

"The Fiendish Organization
for World Larceny."

For some super-villainous
sizzle.

This is not outlandish
super-villainy.

This is order.
Control.

With your world-conquering gusto

focused by my top-secret
strategic planning,

the sky's the limit, and--

Fine, I'll add the "F."

This is the beginning
of a beautiful fiend-ship.

[chuckles]

[lock clicks]

Go now.
I'll contact you.

[alarm blares]

There's been an escape.

♪ Life is like
A hurricane ♪

♪ Here in Duckburg ♪

♪ Racecars, lasers
Airplanes ♪

♪ It's a duck blur ♪

♪ Might solve a mystery ♪

♪ Or rewrite history ♪

♪ Duck Tales, whoo-ooh ♪

♪ Every day they're out there
Making Duck Tales, whoo-ooh ♪

♪ Tales of derring-do
Bad and good-luck tales ♪

♪ Whoo-ooh ♪

♪ D-D-Danger lurks behind you ♪

♪ There's a stranger
Out to find you ♪

♪ What to do? ♪

♪ Just grab on
To some Duck Tales, whoo-ooh ♪

♪ Every day they're out there
Making Duck Tales, whoo-ooh ♪

♪ Tales of daring bad
And good ♪

♪ Not pony tales
Or cotton tales ♪

♪ No, Duck Tales, whoo-ooh ♪

[foghorn blares]

I expect that report on my desk
by day's end.

Time is money,
and I have not enough of either.

Duckworth, my rundown.

You have your daily
swim and money count,

then a brief trip
to mystical Trallala

to visit their bottle cap
plants.

After that, a meet and greet
with the Vampire Dignitaries,

and a routine security check
on Falcon Island.

Hm, light schedule today.

Oh, and your sister Hortense,
stopped by and, uh,

left you something.

Ugh, did I forget
my birthday again?

What is it?
Another itchy sweater?

A scented candle?

[elevator dings]

A massive inconvenience?

Is this deadly?
How about this?

[grunts]
Oh, no.

That's just easily broken.

[strumming]

Oh, boy. Jackpot.

Wait, it's just an old dime.

Oh, new pick.

"Dear Scrooge.

"I am sending your angel
niece and nephew,

"Della and Donald,
to stay with you

"while their father
is in the hospital.

"A giant firecracker
exploded under his chair.

"The little darlings
are so playful.

"I hope you enjoy them.

Your sister, Hortense."

I am a multi-billionaire
businessman, not a babysitter.

I do not have time for this.

Same old grouchy uncle.

Today's going to be
a total bummer.

No way.

Uncle Scrooge toppled
the Colossus of the Nile.

He discovered the Treasure
of the Ten Avatars.

So what crazy fun adventure
do we have on deck for today?

I do not adventure.

I'm looking at a big room
of gold that says different.

My expeditions were grueling,
treacherous,

and only served to build
my company and my fortune.

Nothing fun about them.

These, days I've left
all that behind

to focus on a new kind
of conquest.

Corporate conquest.

-Oh.
-♪ Just another rich uncle ♪

♪ Got to eat the rich uncle ♪

How about showing
some respect for your uncle?

Excuse me, this song
isn't about you.

♪ Store up all that rage
In a bin ♪

♪ Rich unc-- ♪

Just stay out of the way
and don't touch anything.

[beeping]

To be fair, I touched this
before you got here.

I have to attend to this.

Hello, Director 22.

We located Captain
Yellow Beak's ship.

You know what this means.

The Papyrus of Binding.

One of the most powerful
artifacts known to man.

We finally have a credible lead
to its whereabouts.

Our satellites spotted
the ship near a phantom island

in the Bermuda Trapezoid.

Yellow Beak?
Bermuda Trapezoid?

Phantom Island?

All great band names.

[grunts]

Forget your band.
This is an adventure.

Imagine actually having
something to sing about.

Life experience.

That's the soul of an artist.



And you have plenty
of other agents.

None I trust as much as you.
We've got a mole.

FOWL has somehow
gained SHUSH intel.

Scrooge, this could be
our chance to find the papyrus,

uncover the mole,
and shut FOWL down for good.

We'll do it!

[sighs]

Duckworth, revise the schedule.

I'm going on a business trip.

Solo.

[sighs]

We know you don't want family,

but how about a pair
of young sidekicks

for this treacherous journey?

I hate those more.

Unpaid interns?

I work alone.

How about some heavies?

You might need the muscle
to back you up.

I'm sure Duckworth could use
plenty of help around the house.

Happy to put the little ones
to work.

Especially since you'll
be paying me overtime.

Overtime?

What, am I made of money?

[loud thump]

♪ Money hands and money feet ♪

♪ Made of money
My rich uncle Scrooge ♪

Still please take us.

Very well.

Seeing as how I don't seem
to have a say in the matter.

-You don't.
-You don't.

Just leave the guitar.

-You can't mute me, old man.
-[strumming]

Ever play "OutRunner II,
Flight Simulator"?

I'm an ace pilot at it.

So, you know, let me know if you
need me to take the joystick.

Donna. Dello. Come on, now.
Let's not drag our spats.

Am I Dello or Donna?

Who cares?
To adventure!

Not an adventure.

To business trip!

The intrepid explorers
begin their epic voyage.

What lies ahead is a mystery.

A mystery as mysterious as the--

Hey, what is the thing
we're getting, exactly?

The Papyrus of Binding.

A mystical artifact.

When you write on the papyrus,
anything you ask it for

will become a reality.

-Anything?
-Anything.

So you better be specific.

Crafted by mystics
in Ancient Egypt

as a gift to the pharaohs,

the papyrus proved too powerful.

Wars were fought to claim it
over the centuries.

It was last seen
when the notorious pirate,

Captain Yellow Beak,

stole the papyrus
from the Spanish Armada.

Soon after, Yellow Beak
and his ship vanished

in the Bermuda Trapezoid,
never to be heard from again.

[cell phone rings]

[Beakley, over phone]
Eyes front, McDuck.

Black Heron was sighted
at your point of departure,

along with another conspirator.

Oh, 22, come on,
you're always on edge.

I'm not worried about a thing.

[Heron]
You should be.

Black Heron!

Wait, you're doing this now?

Enjoy your trip.

It will be your last.

Hold on, where're you going?

-[cackles] -Aah!

Man, this is already the best.

Kids, take the yoke.

No problem.

Nothing can stop Della Duck.

Except the ground!

Altimeter? Air speed.
I don't know.

Just try anything!

So... this?

[all scream]

[laughs]

Look at me, I'm a pilot!

We need to land.
But where?

How about that island?

The Phantom Island.
Take us there.

Oh, what a rush.
We got them.

[whimpers]

[groans]

That was terrible.

That was classic.

Why did we reveal ourselves?

We could have landed the plane
safely, then captured them. I--

Embrace your wild side,
Bradford.

We're super-villains.

No, we are not.

Your showboating is going
to cost us the papyrus.

Please, there is no way
Scrooge and his brats

are going survive the...

[Della & Donald]
We're alive! Yay!

Ugh, let's move.

Ha! We're alive!

Nice work, lass.
That was incredible.

Incredibly dangerous.
No time to waste.

FOWL is still out there
seeking the papyrus.

[grunts]

Hmm. No sign of Yellow Beak's
ship on the beach.

Curious. Let's move.

[beeping]

Where is this pirate ship,
anyway?

Could you keep it down, laddie?

What? You got a problem
with artistic expression?

No, I've got a problem
with giving away our position

to the bad guys.

I've got several meetings
planned for this afternoon,

and being dead could throw off
my whole day.

Pfft. Figures.

You got to embrace
the experience, man.

There's more to life
than work and money.

Said the future freeloader.

♪ Never gonna smile
On an island of green ♪

♪ All he can think of
Is his wealth so obscene ♪

Heron, are you certain
this trap,

and waiting to watch them
fall into this trap,

is at all necessary?

Patience, Bradford.

Patience.

Aw, phooey!

[whimpering]

Whoa!

[screams]

On that peak there.

-A ship.
-Ship on a peak?

It must be the papyrus's doing.

You found it, lad.
Yellow Beak's lost ship.

[grunts]

[screams]

And now, we let them
lead the way.

And when they find the artifact,

we swoop in and take it
for ourselves.

That's... actually
quite brilliant.

And then we use the papyrus
against them.

Delicious villainous irony.

Wait, no.
We are not using the papyrus.

It is chaos magnified.

Well, then what's the point?

Why can't I ask the papyrus
for ultimate power?

Because then we get blasted by
a trillion volts of electricity.

What about unimaginable wealth?

Then we're crushed under
mountains of invisible treasure.

The papyrus is literally
dangerously literal.

A slightly misworded
command could end us both.

And well worth the risk.

This is what world domination
is all about.

Embrace your inner-villain.

For the last time,
I'm an undercover counteragent,

not a vill-- Aah!

[chuckles]

Forgot I set that one.

[Scrooge] And so the valley
begin to implode,

burying with it
the ancient temple,

the Treasure of the Golden Suns,
lost forever.

I escaped to the Wakka River.

And that dastardly
El Capitan was left

to dig in the dirt, all alone.

-Whoa!
-Whoa!

In the end,
the trip was all for naught.

No gold, no treasure, didn't
even get a souvenir out of it.

Not worth the effort.

But what an adventure.

Some journeys are worth more
than treasure, man.

Sounds like you got
a great story out of it.

♪ Rich uncle ♪

♪ Not so bad ♪

♪ Was a misunderstood hero ♪

♪ But now he's a greedy
Husk of a duck ♪

♪ Dead inside ♪

Aah!

Ah, it's too treacherous
to climb.

I can jump it.

-No way!
-You're right.

-Donald, you do it.
-Better idea, hop on my back.

But I'm afraid we'll break every
bone in your fragile old body.

Get on before I change my mind.

What's that?

The Von Drake Action Cane PPK.

-[Della] Yay!
-[Donald] Rich uncle!

Bless me bagpipes.

Uh, what?

-We found it!
-Yellow Beak!

The Papyrus of Binding!

"The last will and testament
of Captain Yellow Beak.

"This accursed papyrus
has only brought grief.

"I asked it for escape
from the Spaniards,

"and it shipwrecked us
here on this mountain.

"I asked it for water,
and my crew drowned on dry land.

"And so, I ask the papyrus
to free me from this curse

once and for--" Uh...

[cell phone rings]

Duckworth. Yes.

No, keep the meetings.
We're about done here.

-[both] Uncle Scrooge?
-Finally got a signal.

I'll have SHUSH send
an extraction team ASAP.

Seriously? Some dumb meetings
are more important

than finding pirate treasure?

We need to get home.

♪ Sellout uncle ♪

♪ My uncle
The sellout ♪

[Scrooge]
Not the time, lad.

[Heron cackles]

Hi. Me again.

Time to rewrite history.

Cool. I mean...
[screams]

[coughs]

-[groans] -You?

I know you.

You were at my Christmas party.

Bradford.
Bradford Buzzard.

Don't you work for SHUSH?

I have to warn Beakley.

Ah!

-[cackles] -Heron!

Your mindless villainy
has revealed my identity.

Yes! Liberating, isn't it?

[both yell]

[Della]
Ow! Ow!

[electricity crackles]

-Ow!
-[laughs]

Dirty tricks and villainy
win every time.

Papyrus, I ask
that on this mission,

-Scrooge's sidekicks perish.
-[both scream]

-Oh, no! I don't want to perish!
-[screaming]

We're okay?

Oh, my gosh,
no magic can k*ll me.

I'm the chosen one.

[grunts and laughs]

Papyrus, on this mission,

Scrooge's sidekicks perish.

Oh! This priceless artifact
is busted.

They're not my sidekicks,
you degenerate egret.

They're my family.

Gross.

And this is no mission.
It's an adventure!

[all yelling]

-[snarling] -[gasps]

Long live Yellow Beak!

So long, suckers!

Heron, wait.

Kids, follow them and
get the artifact.

I'll take on
this scurvious skeleton.

-[laughs and grunts]
-[sword clashes]

[Bradford]
Heron, give me the papyrus.

[grunts]

[wind gusting]

You used the papyrus.
Twice.

I should have known.

You, Scrooge, all of you,
you're all reckless.

Nothing but trouble.

Oh, enough speeches, Bradford.

You want to take over
the world so badly,

then be a villain and take it,
already!

[grunts]

[screams]

-No!
-Well, that's that.

Huh?

[grunting]

Ow! Hey! Watch--

[exclaiming]

Donald, I'm--

Never mind.

[both grunting]

[piercing squawk]

[grunts]

[grunts]

Oh, curse me kilts, this is fun!

[Della]
Ahoy, there.

[screams]

Double dead pirate!

Up there!

[grunting]

Aah!

Bradford, you blimey
bilge-sucking freebooter.

You're with FOWL.

I was trying to avoid all this.

Supernatural chaos,
mass destruction.

It's about to get worse.

You've made a powerful
enemy today.

Now that we know who you are,

we will tear the world apart
to find you.

I'm Scrooge McDuck.

As long as adventure
courses through my veins,

no villain can best me.

But I am no villain.

At least I won't be, to you.

"Papyrus, as far
as the ducks know,

Bradford Buzzard
was never here."

[gasps]

[stammers]

[gasps]
The papyrus!

All right, kids, I got the--

Good show, now hand over
the papyrus,

or your family joins the rest
of these tragic scalawags.

Wait, what are you writing?

No writing!

"Papyrus, I ask that you
be lost once more,

"until the rightful heir
of Scrooge McDuck

can find your final
resting place."

If you hurt my niece and nephew,

no one will find
the papyrus again.

-[wind gusts] -No!

Oh!

[electricity crackles]

Whoo! Ha-ha!

We are actual kid adventurers.

Wait, Kid Adventurer.

That's a band name!
Or is it a solo act?

-[cell phone rings]
-[Scrooge] 22.

We didn't exactly
get the artifact,

but neither did FOWL.
Send the extraction team.

I need to get back to Duckburg
for an important meeting.

I need to hand off
my day-to-day business duties,

that way I can spend more time
adventuring with my heirs.

We'll find that papyrus someday.

Yeah, we will!

Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy!

I mean, whatever.

[buoy bell clangs]

[door opens]

Mr. McDuck?

Ah, Bradford, was it?
Come in.

Former SHUSH.
Your résumé is impeccable.

And more importantly,

you came highly recommended
by Director 22,

and she doesn't trust anyone.

So, let's get to it.

As you may know, my business
can be a tad chaotic.

I have noticed, sir.

And I assure you I will
reign in that chaos.

Good. I have plenty
of wild enemies.

What I don't have
is a levelheaded ally

to take control
of McDuck Enterprises.

Someone trustworthy, reliable.

There's something about you.

I remember you.

My Christmas party.
Ages ago.

Oh, why we're practically
old kin, eh?

Congratulations, Bradford.

You're my new CFO.

Oh, yes.

You're the exact dull,
stingy type I need.

Yes, sir.

This looks like the start
of a beautiful friendship.