03x21 - The Life and Crimes of Scrooge McDuck!

[bunniefuu]

Little Nibbles everywhere!

Scat, unsanitary vermin!

Furry, cute savages!

Hey, don't damage the merch!

I got a five-star online buyer
for these Gribbles!

Louie, I got you a pet to teach
you about responsibility.

Didn't you read the instructions
on how to take care of them?

Obviously I didn't,
which is good,

because he multiplied, and now
I can sell these monsters as exotic pets.

You will take responsibility
for your actions and...

- [exclaims]
- [snarling]

Wow, Uncle Scrooge.
Saving my life and...

You will not talk
your way out of this.

You are going to own your
mistakes and apologize.

[loud knocking]

[frightening music]

Scrooge McDuck?

Yes?

Uh, you've been summoned.

Don't you mean "served"?

No.

[gasps]

Scrooge McDuck, you have been
summoned to the all-powerful Karmic Court,

where the good and the bad
deeds of one's life

are weighed by the
cosmic scales of justice!

Preposterous!

I demand to know who is
bringing forth these charges!

[energy crackling]

No, no. Not him.

No, anything but that.

Send me back
to be Gribble chow, please!

Doofus Drake
for the prosecution.

If he's the prosecutor,

why is he restrained?

He said he thought
it would be fun.

[giggles]

♪ Life is like a hurricane

♪ Here in Duckburg

♪ Racecars, lasers,
airplanes ♪

♪ It's a duck blur

♪ Might solve a mystery

♪ Or rewrite history

♪ DuckTales, whoo-ooh

♪ Every day they're out there
making DuckTales, whoo-ooh ♪

♪ Tales of derring-do,
bad and good luck tales ♪

♪ Whoo-ooh

All rise. The Karmic Court
is now in session,

the honorable Lady Justice
presiding.

We are all here to see the karmic
case of The People vs. Scrooge McDuck

for his alleged crimes committed
against the plaintiffs.

Mr. Drake is seeking payment
in the form

-of his fortune,
-[gasps]

-all landholdings,
-[gasps louder]

- and his treasures.
- [wheezing gasp]

- [groans]
- He's going after the money?!

What kind of sick game is this?

Oh, Llewellyn, so droll.

You destroyed my inheritance

by forcing me to...

[shudders]

Share it with my family.

So I found victims whose lives
were similarly ruined

by your wicked
Gramuncpeepa Scrooge.

We pulled together our financial
and supernatural resources

to acquire a magical summons

so that you might face
sweet, sweet revenge!

[growling]

Uh, "justice".
Sorry, "justice".

- [chuckles nervously]
- [huffs]

You ruined my inheritance,

so I'm taking yours.

What in blazes
are you babbling about?!

I never wronged anyone
who didn't wrong me first.

I made my money square.

It's my whole thing.

Sir, take a seat.

I've had enough of this
cockamamie kangaroo court.

Oh, let the record show that I am not
allowed within 500 feet of a kangaroo.

[banging gavel]

Don't show anger.

It's playing right
into his horrible game.

We're dealing with
a very sick mind here.

Wait, let me defend you.

I've conned my way out of worse.

You can hardly take
responsibility for yourself.

I'm not gonna let you take
responsibility for me.

Plus, I've done nothing wrong!

[Doofus] Your Honor,

I call my first witness.

Flintheart Glomgold!

[laughs]

[groans]

[continues laughing]

[growls]

Once a beloved
man of the people,

he was tragically morphed into
the twisted soul you see before you

thanks to one Scrooge McDuck.

Haven't we all heard enough about
how I "wronged" Duke Baloney as a kid?

He stole two million dollars
from me back then!

This is about after that,

when you stole the only
thing I ever wanted:

To be... loved.

[both grumble]


Glomgold fever to Duckburg,

and it is contagious,
but not deadly.

We tagged along with this
intrepid entrepreneur

on his latest quest to become
the world's most beloved billionaire.

[grunts]

The legendary jewel
of the shark god.

Careful.

Step on the blackened teeth,

and you could set off
booby traps.

I'll easily claim this relic
for the people of Duckburg!

Flintheart, you just may be
Duckburg's greatest...

- [Scrooge laughs]
- Wait, is that...?

[laughing]

[grunts]

No!
This is my benevolent victory!

I heard you were muscling in
on my treasure hunting turf.

I'm not about to become the
second-richest duck in the world.

Mr. McDuck, what would you say
to the people at home

who find you unapproachable
and miserly?

[scoffs] I don't care for naebody,
and naebody cares for me,

- Hyah!
- No! The jewel is mine!

[gasps]

Flintheart, help!

You think I'm gonna
fall for that?

[gasps] You two are in
league with each other.

Yah! [Grunts]

[screams]

[grunts, gasps]

[shouts]

[grunts]

[grunts]

[gasps]

[screaming]

In a sudden, shocking turn,

Flintheart Glomgold
has revealed his stupidity

and cowardice.

It looks like I'm not long
for this world.

This is Webra Walters,
signing off.

Keep rolling.

Scrooge McDuck, hermit to hero.

The shut-in now shining out.

Are we going to be seeing
a more heroic side?

A sort of altruistic
adventure capitalist?

Mmm. That has a nice ring to it.

Better luck next time, Flinty!

[screams]

[Flintheart] I was
stuck there for days,

forming a bond with the noble
and vicious sharks.

They became my friends,
my family.

And because of Scrooge,

it was the closes thing to love
I would ever know.

And so Scrooge swooped in,

stole the jewel, and more
importantly, the spotlight.

You took a people's hero

and turned him into a reject.

Tossed him into the street
like a stray cat

in search of a warm lap,
a bowl of milk,

a litterbox in which to do
his nasty little no-nos.

But now his naughty business
is all over the floor,

thanks to you!

How is any of that my fault?

I gave him a little
healthy competition,

so he tries to m*rder me
for 30 years?

Order!

Seriously, if this is the worst
you can come up with,

then why are you
wasting my time?

Mr. McDuck, I don't want to
hear another peep out of you.

In fact...

[grunting]

Don't worry, Uncle Scrooge. I got this.

[grumbles]

Your Honor...

[clears throat] Your Honor,

you really expect us to believe that Scrooge
is responsible for creating Glomgold?

[chuckles]

He did this to himself.

I mean, he's planting dynamite
under Scrooge's chair right now.

[ticking]

[expl*si*n]

[wheezes]

But would he have lit
that dynamite

if Scrooge hadn't
been sitting there?

Glomgold was a villain
well before this event.

My client is innocent!

Well done, Llewellyn.

Why, thank you... [exclaims]

You're in my world now.

[gurgles]

So Scrooge accidentallystole
Glomgold's spotlight.

Who amongst us hasn'tmade a little mistake

like turning your uncle's home
into a Gribble zoo,

or accidentally sellinghis submarine?

[sputters] You what?!

Accidentally!

Should we allowsuch minor offenses
to ruina young boy's inheritance?

I mean, an old man's legacy?

No! Case dismissed. Let's go, Scrooge.

[both grumble]

[Doofus] I call
Scrooge's next victim,

Ma Beagle!

[sobbing]

Matron Beagle, ma'am, if
it's not too difficult, please...

It all started when I was just a
little girl knee-high to a grasshopper,

when my beloved Pappy was swindled by the
coldhearted city slicker Scrooge McDuck.

Back in the good old days

when the sarsaparilla flowed
like the mighty Mississip',

the Beagles ruled
what we now know as Duckburg,

and my beloved Pappy
was in his prime.

[clang]

[grunting]

Wow, Pa! You done got the
strongest arm in the whole world.

Here you are, Sweet Pea.

What you want, fancy spats?

[hawk screeches]

Nice town you got here.

Of course, I remember it
as Fort Duckburg.

Which of you lowlifes do I talk
to about purchasing it back?

"Purchasing"? [Laughs]

What kind of highfalutin
talk is that?

Why can't you say "git"
like everyone else?

[all laugh]

Tell that big-timin',
lily-livered stinkpot, Pappy!

What a charming little girl.

I'm in charge around here,

and I ain't interested
in sellin' this town

to a no-good,
city-slickin' money boy!

Then I guess you bunch of crooks
have no interest in these.

- [all gasp]
- [coins jingle]

[ooh-ing and ahh-ing]

Okay, moneybags.

I'll arm wrestle you for it.

Winner gets the town
and the money.

You got yourself a deal.

[giggles] You done gothoodwinked, mister.

My pappy ain't never lost.

That's the problem
with "never", lassie.

It rarely lasts.

Get ready to lose, noodle arm.

- [clang]
- [grunting]

[cheering]

[grunts]

What? No!

I was cheering a fraud!

Pappy ain't no folk hero.

[inhales shakily]
He's a folk zero! [Sobs]

[all growling]

Pleasure doing
business with you.

[slurps] Ah.

Aw, I can't believe you.

The Beagle family
retreated to the junkyard,

the only land
no one else wanted.

Pappy was humiliated.

Ma was forced
into a life of crime.

If Scrooge hadn't interfered,

Ma might not be the ruthless
crime lord she is today.

Okay, I could have been
nicer to the little girl.

But they were trying
to swindle me!

What was I supposed
to do, lose?

Yeah. Every other rube had the
common decency to be suckered.

Hold on. I recognize a
scheming face when I see one.

Keep playing it from there.

I can't believe you...

Lost?

- [grunts]
- Got caught!

What a shoddy scam.

Your time's up, old man.

I'm gonna have to take control
of this here family

and get the deed back
from thems that wronged us.

Any objections?

[whimpers]

Aha! Ma Beagle
was already rotten.

My client shouldn't have
to take responsibility

for every bank robbed
or every trap set.

Doofus' case doesn't hold water.

My client can't help
if all these crazies went crazy.

[slow clap]

Well done, Llewellyn.

It would seem you've won,
if you weren't about to lose!

I call my final witness...

[whooshing]

Magica De Spell.

Oh, no.

Magica, when did you first
meet Scrooge McDuck?

[Magica] My beloved brother Poe and I were
twin sorcerers in the prime of our youths,

ruling over a small town and using our
combined powers to make beautiful magic.

Poe was the level-headed one
and I was the dreamer.

[cackles]

You're a frog! And you!

- [croaks]
- Oh, yes.

You, you're definitely a frog.

Uh, sister, dear,

if we turn all the
townspeople into frogs,

who will give us
our gold and turnips?

Sweet, sensible Poe.

Can we turn them
into turnips, then?

Mm-hm, interesting.

Thinking outside
the box, yes.

But if we eat them all,

who will give us our milk?

[chuckles] Of course.

You're right.

[sighs]

I'll expect 15 gallons
of goat milk by sunup.

[laughs] What a delightful
compromise.

Come, Papa.
Back to the farm.

Now, what do you say for sparing
your goat dad's life, hmm?

[in unison]
Thank you, Magica and Poe.

[bleats]

[Louie] Objection, Your Honor!

How is any of this relevant?

Magica was obviously already,
like, the most villainous.

Because one man managed
to make matters far worse.

One day, people stopped coming
to pay tribute for some reason,

so we summoned a shadow army

to collect their treasures.

Everything was going fine
until he showed up.

Get your filthy digits off my Number
One Dime, you hoodoo hoodlums!

Look at this one, fighting
so hard for a paltry dime.

I earned this dime
through hard work.

Magica, stop!

The treasure!

- [oinking]
- Bah.

Treasure means more when you
earn it, you slothful sorcerers.

Cheap tricks and shortcuts
are nonsense,

and I'll prove it
by taking you down

and claiming that
treasure for myself

with my bare hands.

Then I'll b*at you
with my bear hands!

Ah-ah-ah-ah! You cannot give in
to his goading. Focus your powers.

I don't have to focus to
b*at this insignificant worm.

I'm the most powerful
sorceress in the land.

Or half of one.

You can't even finish
a spell on your own.

Looks to me like your family
is holding you back.

[growls]

You're the fly in my ointment,
so buzz off!

[grunts]

[grunts]

[exclaims]

Curse me kilts!

Oh, I'll curse
your whole outfit!

[grunts]

[strains]

[shouts]

You don't scare me with your
magical ranting and raving.

We'll see who's a raven now.

- [gasps]
- Magica! [Groans]

Poe?

[caws]

Poe, stop messing around
and turn back already.

Come on. You know I don't know
how to turn people back.

I'm sorry, all right?

Just put the amulet on
and change back into my brother.

[gasps]

Please, help.
He's flying away.

Sorry. Bit busy at the moment.

[grunts] I'll give you anything.

My powers, my throne,
everything!

Just help me save my brother!

- [cawing]
- Poe, no!

Come back, please!

I'm sorry. I... [gasps]

This is all your fault!

Me? You're the [mocking]
"powerful sorceress".

You could have stopped him.

Well, that'll teach you
to tussle with Scrooge McDuck.

[Magica] I searched the world
for the raven that was my brother,

but there were a lot
of dumb birds out there.

After all those years,

I never saw my sweet Poe again.

All thanks to Scrooge McDuck.

All he had to do

was stop a bird from flying
out of a window.

You gave that treasure back
to the townspeople, right?

Eh, most of them were
goats at that point.

But I did spend some of the
money to buy them a farm.

And?

And then I used the farm
to sell their milk.

[sighs]

Uncle Scrooge.

I never thought
I'd say this, but...

I don't know if I can talk
our way out of this one.

Or if we even should.

I assumed that if you live
as long as I have,

you make a lot of sworn enemies,

but when you rack up
enough of them,

you do have to wonder if you
might be part of the problem.

Doofus, I don't want to start an
endless rivalry like Scrooge did.

Life is too short.

And while you may be a freaky,
weird, entitled monster kid,

I'm still sorry for any pain
that I caused you.

Thank you, Llewellyn.

What?!

Ugh. What is this
weird soft feeling?

That is the relief
of taking responsibility.

I don't want to be defined
by the mistakes I've made,

but rather by the humility
of admitting them.

So, to all of you...

I'm sorry.

Oh, you'll be sorry, all right!

No! This isn't a trick!

I'm actually sorry.

[shouts]

[yelps]

[gasps]

By his own admission
and by the official decree

of the Karmic Court,

Scrooge McDuck
is hereby responsible

for creating his enemies.

Flintheart Glomgold,

Ma Beagle,

and Magica De Spell

are respectively entitled
to Scrooge's fortune.

The deed to Duckburg,

and...

Am I reading this correctly?

The accursed Number One Dime?

[all cheering]

I am the architect
of your unmaking!

[gasps] That's right.

He created you.

But you might say
you created him, too.

- No!
- You moron!

Scrooge did create his enemies,
but they in turn created him.

Without his villains, he would've never
have been forced to connect with people...

[shouts]

...or be one step ahead
of the cons and the cheats...

- [grunts]
- ...or, as we have just seen,

be humble in his old age.

[crackling]

So if they're entitled
to what's his,

he's therefore entitled
to the same level of justice.

By official decree
of the Karmic Court,

Scrooge McDuck is hereby
reimbursed his fortune,

the deed to Duckburg,

and his Number One Dime.

What?! No!

You idiot!

You'll never get away
with this!

[both screaming]

[stops screaming] Huh?

I'm proud of you, lad!

Even though it was difficult
and it may not have seemed fair,

you finally
accepted responsibility.

I'm proud of you too,
Uncle Scrooge.

Owning up to your
mistakes can be hard,

but taking responsibility
is the right thing to do.

Like the mistake you made by
buying me a Gribble in the first place.

- [Gribbles snarling]
- Good luck cleaning this up.

Lad. Lad!

[snarls]

Theme music play...