05x23 - What's It All About, Algie?

[bunniefuu]

Man: that you, smart?

- Hathaway?
- Right.

- Come on.
- Where are we going?

I've gotta close the front gate.

I only left it open for you.

- Okay, now we can talk.
- Right.

Wait a minute. I think we'd
better talk over there.

Come on.

After three months
of working on this case,

I think I've got my first break.

- Degrasse is definitely with kaos.
- That's terrific, hathaway!

Keep it down!

Keep it down.
Degrasse is in his office.

- He's working late tonight.
- Don't worry, I'll keep it down.

Shh...

Who's there?

It's me, mr. Degrasse...
Hathaway.

What are you doing
there after closing?

I... Well, I was, uh...
Cleaning up a bit, sir.

and I knocked over a few pots.

I'm sorry.

You should be more
careful, hathaway.

I will.

We've got to work fast, max.

- Get these to the chief right away.
- What are they?

It's a list of
degrasse's customers.

When the chief sees these names,
he'll break the case wide open.

- Is there anything else I should know?
- Not right now.

Degrasse has been suspicious
of me for the last couple of days.

I can't take a chance
talking to anyone.

Get down.

Oh, hathaway, as long
as you're still here,

Get me a sample of the compost

From around maricoba carnivorae.

- The what?
- The big plant next to you,

The one that came in this
morning from the brazilian jungle.

Oh, the one over here.

- That one...
- Mm-hmm.

Get me the sample immediately.

Yes, sir.

All right, now hurry up.
Get that list to the chief.

All right, now there's one thing
I have to know before I go back.

What's the fastest way to get
back to control headquarters?

Should I take walnut street

Or should I take elm parkway?

You can't take walnut
street. It's a one-way street.

Well, I took it coming over.

Take elm parkway. Hurry up.

Come on.

Hathaway, did you
say elm parkway?

Hathaway? Hathaway,
where are you?

It's incredible.

This list contains the names
of some of the most important,

Influential government
officials in washington.

Well, that's why
hathaway wanted me

To get the list to you
as fast as possible, chief.

If only hathaway
hadn't disappeared.

Well, let's look on the
bright side of things, chief.

It's a good thing that
he gave me the list

Before he disappeared rather
than after he disappeared.

Max, what kind of
reasoning is that?

How could he possibly have given
you the list after his disappearance?

He could've only given it to
you before his disappearance!

Oh, yeah? How about
during his disappearance?

Hi, max. Hello, chief.

Hello.



Well, you couldn't come home to
dinner so I brought dinner to you.

I spent two days making
the lasagna sauce, max.

You didn't think I was gonna
let it go to waste, did you?

Sit down, I'll fix you a salad.

Well, that's very
nice of you, 99.

Isn't that nice of 99, chief?

Yes, that's very nice of 99.

- Oh, thank you, chief.
- Mmm mmm mmm!

Smell that lasagna.

Would you like some,
chief? There's plenty here.

No thanks, 99.

Hi, everybody. I
hope I'm not late.

Larabee, what are
you doing here?

I let you leave early because you
said you had a dinner engagement.

That's right. With the smarts.

Oh, you shouldn't have, larabee.

Max, look what
larabee brought us.

Oh, that's very
nice of you, larabee.

Isn't that nice
of larabee, chief?

Yes, that's very
nice of larabee.

Thank you, chief.
Boy, I can't wait.

I could smell this lasagna
clear out in the elevator.

Well, I spilled a little of
the sauce on the way up.

Every person on this list
either purchased a plant

Or had landscaping
done by algie's nursery.

That's very interesting, chief. Would
you pass me a bread stick, please?

What do you think of it, max?

What? The bread stick?
I haven't tasted it yet.

Not the bread stick, the list!

You don't expect
him to taste the list?!

Of course I don't expect
him to taste the list, larabee!

- How about you, 99?
- Chief, how do those plants

Tie in with the security
leaks that have been going on?

I don't think I can
answer that question, 99.

Oh, well, could you
open this bottle of wine?

- I'll open it for you, 99.
- Oh.

I'll be back in a minute.

- Would you like some wine, chief?
- I guess maybe I'd better.

- It's liebfraumilch.
- liebfraumilch?

- That's a german white wine.
- I know that.

Well, why would you
serve a german white wine

With italian food?
They don't go together.

Well, it was bottled in 1943.

- What has that got to do with it?
- They went together then.

Max, first thing
tomorrow morning,

I want you to go down to algie's
nursery and apply for a job.

What for, chief?
I've already got a job.

- Max, you don't understand me.
- No, chief, you don't understand max.

What he says is true.
He does have a job.

Maybe he does,
larabee, but you don't.

- Yes?
- Max: mr. Degrasse?

Just a moment.

Come in.

Sit down, please.

Now what can I do for you?

I'm applying for a job.

I see. Do you have any
experience in nursery?

Oh, yes, I'm the
father of twins.

I mean, do you have any
experience in horticulture?

Uh, hor... Horticulture, y...

Oh, yes, a great deal of
experience in horticulture.

I went to college
for four years.

Which college was that?

Huh?

Yes, which college.
That would be... Harvard.

Harvard doesn't have
courses in horticulture.

Doesn't have courses in...
Yes, well, that's probably

Why I didn't pass.

Somehow you don't
strike me as someone who...

Knows much about gardening.

Oh, really? I don't
know why you say that.

Everybody knows that us
japanese are great gardeners.

you are japanese?

That's right. My
name is yakimoto.

Is that your first
or your last name?

That's the whole thing.

What part of japan are you from?

Eh... The orient.

Well, actually, you see,

My mother was american,
my father was japanese

And they brought me over here to this
country when I was just a small child.

Uh-huh.

Mr. Yakimoto, usually,
I do not hire people

Without checking
their references,

But I happen to
need someone today.

The man who had
been working for me

Met with an accident last night.

Oh really? What
kind of an accident?

He had a most
unfortunate accident

With one of my rare trees.

- He was climbing it?
- He was feeding it.

You may start
immediately if you want to.

You will find a coverall
under the checkout counter.

Oh yes, and incidentally,
most of my customers

Are important government people.

Should a congressman
or senator come in,

Please notify me immediately.

- I always attend to them... Personally.
- Yes, sir.

I'll be with you in a
moment, mr. Degrasse.

The african violet plant
in senator conway's office

Is picking up a conversation
about the new m-6 m*ssile.

I'm recording it now.

Have we heard from the philodendron
which we sold to general mulhaire?

We've been lucky there.

He ordered it for his office

But had it moved to the
w*r room in the pentagon.

Excellent.

Any more information
coming in over

- Congressman whitney's fern?
- It d*ed.

Send the congressman a new fern

With our compliments.

And be sure the bugging
device is well-concealed.

This is maxwell
smart calling control.

Control headquarters,
the chief speaking.

Chief, I've got the job.

Good, max. Now, you've got to
find out what the connection is

Between degrasse's customers

And the government
security leaks.

Right, chief.

Now max, this is a very
dangerous assignment.

If degrasse suspects you, your
life could be in great jeopardy.

I don't think there's anything
to worry about, chief.

He was a little
suspicious at first

Until I gave him
cover story 3mb.

- He fell for it completely.
- Fine. Good luck, max.



We haven't used that
since pearl harbor.

- Will that be all, sir?
- No.

I want to check
on the man I hired.

Contact kaos headquarters,

Have them send me the photo file

On all control agents
stationed in washington.

How soon do you want that?

Not later than 5:00.

That's feeding time for
the maricoba carnivorae.

Yakimoto...

May I ask... What do
you think you're doing?

i'm just pruning this tree.

Aren't you
overdoing it a little?

Why do you say that?

Suppose a customer comes
in and asks for a plant.

I can't sell him that.

No, but you could if
he asked for a spear.

You are not going to
prune any more plants.

You're not going to
touch any of them.

You're just going
to water them...

From a distance.

There's a customer. Would
you please wait on her?

Yes, ma'am?

- What can I do for you?
- It's me, max.

Oh, 99.

- What are you doing here?
- Max, you're in big trouble.

You're telling me, that's
the 12th one I've broken today.

That's not what I mean, max.

The chief sent me
here to warn you

That degrasse has sent
to kaos headquarters

For the control photo file.

The minute they see your
picture, you're through.

Aw, that's a shame. I was just
beginning to enjoy the job.

I don't mean through with the
job, max. I mean he'll k*ll you.

- You've gotta get out of here right away!
- Oh, I can't leave now, 99...

Max, your life is at stake!

You can't worry about
getting evidence now.

Who said anything about evidence?
I have all these plants to water.

Max, you've gotta
get out of here

Before the courier gets
here with the photo file.



That must be the kaos courier.

Max, we've gotta stop him before
he gets that photo file to degrasse!

Right, 99. I'll distract
him and you jump him.

Max!

You distract him
and I'll jump him.

Right, max.

Hi, tiger.

Hi.

Just a minute,
fella, can I help you?

Yes, I'm looking for
degrasse's office.

Oh, well, you're going
in the wrong direction.

- It's over there.
- What'd you do that for?

Forget it, fella,
I'll find it myself.


Catalogue I've ever seen in my life!

- Why, max?
- Well, look at this!

They've got all the control
agents looking like flowers.

Max, those are flowers.

This isn't a control photo
file, this is a seed catalogue!

Well, what would a kaos courier
be doing with a seed catalogue?

Because he's not a kaos
courier, he's a seed salesman!

Oh. Well, 99, if this
man identifies us,

We could be in a lot of trouble.

I wouldn't worry about it, max.

I don't think he
can see too well.

This is from kaos headquarters.

It was delivered with
the fertilizer shipment.

Larabee: where'd that
plant come from, chief?

From congressman
whitney's office.

He bought it at algie's nursery,

And degrasse was a little too
eager to replace it when it d*ed.

- What are you looking for?
- If my hunch is right,

There'll be a bugging device
hidden here somewhere.

Well, I guess I'm wrong.
All right, get rid of it.

- Larabee, look!
- Don't worry, chief, I'll clean it up.

I'm not talking about that.
You've found the microphone.

- I did?
- Sure, look at the roots.

There's a microphone
connected to it.

No wonder it d*ed,
that's a radio microphone.

What's that got to do with it?

Well, everybody knows
radio is dead, chief.

All right, larabee.
You know what to do.

Yes, but I don't think that's
going to do any good, chief.

- You don't?
- No.

- You sure about that?
- I'm positive about it.

We are talking about
the same thing, aren't we?

- I certainly hope so.
- So do i, larabee. So do i.

What do you think
we're talking about?

What do you think
we're talking about?

- I asked you first.
- I said, "you know what to do,"

And you said you didn't
think it would work.

- That's right.
- what didn't you think would work?

- Watering this plant.
- I knew it, I knew it,

You got the wrong thing. I
wasn't talking about the plant,

I wanted you to get max
on the phone immediately.

- Oh, well, that might do some good.
- Larabee...

How old do you think I am?

- About 63, 64.
- I thought so.

- Why, how old are you?
- I'm 42.

- You don't look it. You look 63...
- Get out, larabee.

Max, look at the wonderful
plants I got for our apartment.


To be shopping.

But, max, I'm keeping my eye
open for the kaos courier.

I can't just stand around. I've
got to look like a customer.

- How much money did you spend?
- Well, in this cart I'd say...

What do you mean, in that cart?

Oh, there are four other
carts I've already filled outside.


Right back where you...

- Your hose is ringing.
- I know it, 99.

Hello?

Turn the spigot off.

This is algie's nursery,
smart speaking.

Max, this is the chief. We've just
discovered how algernon degrasse

Has been planting
listening devices

In the offices of top
government officials.

- That's great, chief.
- I want you to place him under arrest

- And bring him in immediately.
- I can place him under arrest,

But I can't bring
him in immediately.

- Why not?
- I don't get off until 5:00.

Max, that job is just a cover!
You don't need it anymore!

I don't, huh? You should
see what 99 just spent.

Max, if you don't do
as I say, you're fired.

That's an idle thr*at,
chief. You'd never fire me.

Oh no? What makes
you so sure I wouldn't?

Because according to seniority,

If I get fired from
control, larabee moves up.

How soon after 5:00 can
you get degrasse over here?

As soon as I can,
chief. Goodbye.

What are we gonna do now, max?

Well, the first thing we're gonna
do is take all that stuff back.

Then I'm going into
degrasse's office and say...

Degrasse: put your hands up.

And then I'm going to
put the cuffs on him.

Did you want to see me about
something, mr. Degrasse?

There's a very
interesting picture of you

In the control file, mr. Smart.

- Thank you.
- But why were you sitting on a pony?

It was taken on his birthday.

I'm going to k*ll you.

Just a moment. You think you're
very clever, don't you, degrasse?

What do you mean?

I've been breaking my back
here since 9:00 this morning,

And you think you're going
to get off without paying me.

Well, you're wrong...
You're going to pay me.

And then you can k*ll me.

- Ah!
- Oof!

- Which way, max?
- Back to the greenhouse.

Come come, mr. And mrs. Smart.

You'll never get
out of here alive.

Besides, I know exactly
where you are hiding.

- You're in the midst of the poison ivy.
- Poison ivy?

Max, what's that?

He's hitting the
fertilizer bags above us.

- What are you doing?
- I'm gonna turn this fan on.

What good is that gonna do, max?

Well, when the
fertilizer hits the fan,

It'll blow all over the place
and give us a chance to get away.

Good thinking, max!

Come on, 99. Now's our
chance to get away.

Max, look!

- Max, 99, are you all right?
- Yes, we're fine, chief,

But that's more than I can
say for algernon degrasse.

So that's what
happened to hathaway.

Larabee, confiscate that plant.

I can't do that,
chief. I'm not a priest.

Confiscation doesn't have
anything to do with religion.

Take that tree and get
it down to headquarters!

Right, chief. Where
would you like me to put it?

Right next to your desk.