04x24 - The End of the Innocence (Part II)

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Dharma & Greg". Aired: September 24, 1997 – April 30, 2002.*
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Free-spirited Dharma, a yoga instructor and dog trainer, meets and falls for polar opposite Greg, a Harvard-educated U.S. attorney.
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04x24 - The End of the Innocence (Part II)

Post by bunniefuu »

OK look, Charlie had feelings for me...

but that doesn't mean
that things are going to happen

because they won't and they didn't.

We're looking for a two-page letter,
it's from Charlie.

A letter from Charlie?!

-Hi!
-Hi!

That's what you're looking for.

Charlie!
-Hi!

Charlie, Greg found the letter you sent me.

Thanks Charlie.

-Where are you going?
-I don't know, not home.

Pete, are you sure about this?
Cause I could get a hotel room.

-It's no problem at all.
-Thanks.

I got some stuff to set you up here,
a bunch of these little shampoos and soaps...

and sewing kits...

a little clock radio.

Do you like reading the bible, Greg?

Maybe later if you don't mind,
I think I'd just like to turn in.

Pete, [Foreign Language]

Greg, uhh...

This is Magda.

Magda, this is my buddy Greg.

-How's it going?
-[Foreign Language]

He's kind of on the outs with his wife.

[Foreign Language]

You don't happen to partly knew
any Hungarian, do you?

No.

How about that, good for you.

You're going out with her
and you don't understand a word she says.

I don't know if I am going out with her.

Here's the deal.

I went to that little
Hungarian restaurant, right.

I'm talking to the owner, I say I live alone,

my life's a mess.

I need to find a woman.

A couple nights later Magda shows up here.

We eat she cleans up my whole apartment.

Next thing, you know,
we're doing the Budapest shuffle.

Pete, I've had a rough day,
I would really like to turn in.

I know, I know, I'm sorry.

It's just I can't figure out if she's the best girlfriend
in the world who also does windows

or the best maid in the world
who also does me.

Pete, I just left my wife standing in the rain.

I'm sorry.

-I know that must be rough.
-Thanks.

I guess I don't really have a problem

until Friday and then I get to figure out
if I have to pay her.

I don't know what she has in mind here,
but I'm gonna watch either way.

You sleep tight.

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Season 4
Episode 24.

The End of Innocence
Part 2.

OK Susan...

here's your something borrowed,

It's a necklace I wore on my wedding
to Greg that Kitty through for us.

It's beautiful.

Thank you.

You OK?

Yeah, I'm fine.

Dharma, I would understand
if you don't want to be in my wedding.

Why wouldn't I?

Because Russell is Greg's friend
and Greg's going to be an usher

and your marriage is in the crapper.

Don't be silly, I want to be there for you.

Plus it's good for me to stay busy,
it keeps my mind off things.

And when I look at this dress
all my other problems seem so small.

[Foreign Language]

I'm the bride, everyone looks stupid
so I looks good.

-Do you think that might be Greg?
-I don't know.

Well, if he is, shouldn't you answer it?

I don't know if I'm ready to hear
what he has to say yet.

[Foreign Language]

[Foreign Language]

[Foreign Language]

Hello!

-Oh, hi Charlie!
-Oh dear.

That's just a friend of mine,
she thinks she's Chinese.

What's up?

[Foreign Language]

Look! He did see us and he's
a little bit upset but it's not your fault.

Actually he's staying with
his friend Pete right now.

[Foreign Language]

Of course I told him that,

he found the letter he saw us together,
what else is he going to think?

Well, there's nothing really you can do and
I think we probably shouldn't stay in touch.

I know, I hope so too Charlie.

Bye!

[Foreign Language]

-What did she say?
-I'm not comfortable with this kind of language.

You ready to call it a day?

I got a freezer full of goulash.

I got some more work to do.

Come on, didn't you hear Mr Slate says
it's quitting time.

I'll see you later.

Listen I...

I know I haven't been much of a help
during this whole emotional...

It's OK.

Great, I'll see you back at the creb.

Mr Montgomery there's a man here
to see you and he's gorgeous.

-Marlene who is it?
-It's me,

and this will only take a minute.

OK.

I heard what's going on with you in Dharma.

Marlene?

-Is there something that you need?
-Oh god, yes.

You can go home now, Marlene.

OK, I'll go home now to 802 Van Buren.

It's a duplex you can walk it from here.

-Thank you, Marlene.
-Thank you.

What do you want?

I know I'm the last guy you want to talk to
about Dharma,

but there are some things you need to know.

And what would that be?

For one thing I can tell you
your wife loves you more than anyone...

I don't need you to tell me that.

Clearly you need someone to tell you that.

All right, you know what, get out.

-Greg, you've got an amazing woman.
-I know, I read your letter.

Maybe you should go back and read it again

because the woman I'm talking about in that
letter is the woman you are about to lose.

Like you're not happy about that.

If you break her heart I promise you I will be
the first one in line to put it back together.

But that's not why I'm here.

Why are you here?

Because I want her to be happy.

What makes her happy is you.

And if you don't realize that
then maybe you don't deserve her.

Hi honey, I'm home.

You should have called,
I just put away the goulash.

That's Ok, I'm supposed to go to Russell
and Susan's wedding rehearsal.

-Dharma is a bridesmaid, right?
-Yep.

That should be a good time.

How ticked off do you think Russell will be
if I skip the rehearsal.

I'm just an usher it's not like
I'm gonna sing sunrise sunset.

It's a shame there wouldn't be a dry eye
in the house.

How come you're doing the dishes?

Magda is mad at me.

I put some money on the dresser for her.

She's your girlfriend and she thinks
you're treating her like a hooker.

Or she's my maid and she thinks
I'm testing her honesty.

Or she is a hooker and you underpaid her.

I don't need you adding a third thing here.

[Foreign Language]

She got a heck of a temper.

I think it's a Hungarian thing
maybe she's born with it.

-Do you go in there and talk to her for me?
-No.

could you at least run in there
and grab the cash off the nightstand.

You know what, Russell's my friend, if Dharma
has a problem with me being there, she can leave.

Your maid wouldn't break things.

kids, have fun.

And a hooker wouldn't clean,

in America.

Is this the first time the two families have met?

Yeah, it's going great, isn't it?

There's got to be something everybody
has in common, don't you think?

They're all opposed to this marriage.

That's a start.

Oh my!

-What?
-Greg's here.

-Are you going to be Ok?
-Yeah, I'll be fine, thanks.

Are you going to do something loud
and stupid and screw up my rehearsal?

Wow! I hope not.

Hey! Sorry I'm late.

It's Ok, we were just wrapping up
the mingling portion of the evening.

Going so well.

Thankfully, most of Susan's family
doesn't speak English,

so my parents were only able
to offend a select few.

Nice.

-How are you and Dharma doing?
-Not so good.

-You sure you want to go through with this?
-I'm supposed to ask you that.

Explain something to me wrong.


we have to schlep up to Mill Valley?!

Don't ask.

-Nothing is good enough for you.
-Ok, is the happy chitchats over?

Time for rehearsal.

[Chinese speaking]

What did he say? I heard my name.

-He said you are a sharp ass man.
-Susan, you're not helping.

Your father trying to pick a fight.

Come on, it was a big thing for him to agree
to have the wedding in a Chinese restaurant.

Oh please, your family like Chinese food
more than mine does.

Folks why don't we uh...

put this aside and just do the rehearsal.

Hold on a second.

If people have issues they should be able
to get them out into the open.

Dharma, it's not going to help
to have everyone yelling at each other.

Sometimes, Greg,
that's how problems get solved.

Yes, and you're the expert
on problem solving.

I do know that you solve problems
by talking about them,

not by walking off and leaving somebody
standing in the rain holding two wet dogs.

If Mr Gottlieb we're seeing another
grumpy old man behind Mr Wong's back

-that might be appropriate.
-No body seeing anyone.

Excuse us!

Well, that's all we needed.

You actually start it.

-In our country...
-Hey, we're not in Thailand now, friend.

-Taiwan.
-What's the difference?

-This is crazy.
-I know.

-Listen!
-No, me first.

I don't want to live like this.

I love you and I know you love me.

It's over it's done I forgive you,
let's move on.

I'm sorry, what?

I was hurt but I'm ready to forgive you
and move on.

-I don't even need to know what happened.
-I told you nothing happened.

It doesn't matter, I forgive you.

That's very big of you.

What's that supposed to mean?

It means I know you were hurt but where do
you get off coming in here and forgiving me

and thinking that is the solution to our problem.

What you don't want me to forgive you?

We can make this about
who did what to who and what was worse.

I'm sorry what could be worse than
running around with another guy?

I don't know, maybe not finding out
what really happened,

assuming the worst, walking out
and not talking to me for three days.

-I was really angry.
-I know you were.

All I'm saying is that we can make this
about who did what to who

and tally up all the points we've got but then we just
wind up with a giant scorecard instead of a marriage.

I'm the one who's trying to say
this is Ok, I forgive you, let's move on.

And I get a lecture about how I don't know
how to be in a marriage, what is that?

You just don't get it, do you?

Am I making the biggest mistake of my life?

You're taking this way too seriously.

The first husbands just practiced
like the first batch of pancakes.

Dharma, Susan is getting married tomorrow,
she doesn't need to hear about pancakes.

Marcy, this is the portion of the evening
where we explain to Susan the facts of life.

This should be good.

No, we don't have that,
we have the fun limousine ride,

we have the bright scavenger hunt.

Susan, you still have to find
a pair of jockey shorts.

All right, here's what you're signing up for.

You're me, it's love at first sight
you look into his eyes,

he looks into your eyes,
and it's all you are the sunshine of my life

that's why I always feel good.

-Greg! I miss Greg.
-And she's back.

You know, the really hard part
is the families.

You don't have this problem with Russell,
but me and Greg's families are so different.

That's it, I'm going to call the wedding off.

No, no, you love Russell and you have
a wonderful future together.

But maybe one day you make a tiny little mistake and he
finds out you're human, and then it all goes to crap.

Oh look! It's the other lady.

Here's a quarter, get on the phone, call it off.

-Dharma, that's a lifesaver.
-You bet it is, sister.

-Oh my God! What was I thinking?!
-You weren't thinking.

You were looking into your eyes
and he was looking into his eyes...

You are the sunshine of my life.

♪ That's why I always be around! ♪
♪ You are the apple of... ♪

Ok, one more time people,
here's your tuck and fold.

It's one time lengthwise,
one time width-wise, right?

Wrap it around the finger it makes a j,
you slip it right in the G-string, any questions?

It's Ok? Did your bachelor parties here?

They're familiar with the concept, yeah.

OK, let's move out.
Come on, let's go! Let's go! Let's go!

Come on, six men are going out,
six men are coming back, nobody gets hurt.

-Hey Russell! You coming?
-Yeah, in a minute.

I know these bachelor party strip club things
aren't fun for anybody

except Pete.

So, let's just kind of see
if we can do this for him, it's his night.

-What am I doing Greg?
-What do you mean?

Susan and I disagree on where we'll live,
what will drive,

and I have huge problems with her family
and her family has huge problems with my family.

Am I kidding myself
to think it's going to get better?

Yes you are.

It's not exactly the pep talk
I was looking for.

Look, all that stuff is not gonna change.

So, you just gotta decide
whether it's worth it or not.

How the hell am I supposed to know that?

-Hey guys!
-Give us a minute, Pete.

You gotta come in there, Magda's in there.

-Your Magda? -Yeah.
-So, she's a stripper.

I don't know, she's got a feather duster and
a french maids outfit. It could go either way.

Come on!

Hi! I work with your daughter
down at the co-op.

I just wanted to say that we're so happy we can
share this wonderful day with you and your family.

Hello, very much.

Oh! I'm sorry, Mrs Wong.

What cultural hubris
to just assume you speak English.

it's a crime that we self-absorbed Americans
commit all over the world

and we're hated for it.

Hello, very much.

And hello very much to you.

Kitty, Ed, what are you guys doing here?

The groom's father is my lawyer.

All right, I knew that.

So much for your ginkgo biloba.

-Kitty, how is Greg doing with the situation?
-As well as can be expected.

I think it's important for us to let the children
know that we love and support them

and if they don't get it right in this lifetime

they have hundreds of others to work it out.

Yes, that's exactly what I told him.

Listen Ed, if, God forbid,
the kids don't patch this thing up

I want you to know that I want
the four of us to continue to be friends.

-Let's just hope it doesn't come to that.
-I hear you man.

Oh God! This is so bad.

Do you do something different to your hair?

I think my mistake was that big green drink
in the bowl with all the straws.

Why did we order that?

We didn't that was at another table,
you drank it while the people were dancing.

Really?!

That's it, I'm grounded.
Just home and school.

Listen Susan, I may have said some things last
night that might have been a little negative.

That's OK, but if you could stay away
from me today, it will help.

I can do that.

Susan! I know you're busy,
I'm only gonna take a minute.

-You're not supposed to see the bride.
-Yeah, six more weeks of winter.

Listen, I've been going about this
the wrong way

it's not about my way or you're way,
or I'm right or you're right.

If we do it that way we'll just find out
with a big score-card instead of a marriage.

We need to work through these things together.

I really needed to hear that.

Welcome family and friends.

We're here tonight to celebrate
the coming together of Susan and Russell.

They're happy that so many of you,
who mean so much to them, are here...

to celebrate and share this
their wedding day.

I welcome you
and bless you with these words.

Blessed be you who are here in dedication
to all that is loving, good and sacred.

Tonight...

we celebrate and bless
the wedding of Susan and Russell.

He is sorry, he didn't understand before.

This Chuppah symbolizes many things.

It is tradition in the Jewish religion.

Mainly, this Chuppah symbolizes
the home that they will share...

Sorry! Sorry!

The Chuppah symbolizes the home
they're going to share together, go!

The Chuppah symbolizes the
home that they're going to share together,

and this Chuppah also has special significance...

it was a nice wedding.

Yeah, Marcy sure made a move
for that bouquet.

-She's a little tiger.
-I know.

I thought Mrs Wong did a good job
singing Hava Nagila.

Well, I guess we still have some stuff
to work out.

-We will.
-I know.

Greg!

Dharma, are you OK?

I don't think so.
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