05x10 - Dream A Little Dream of Her

[bunniefuu]

wow

now that is my kind of wake-up call

we aim to please hey i have a question

glad you held it till the end

did all that just then have anything to

do with that cute waitress from last

night

what you know the one who asked you if

you work out

i was wearing the black t-shirt i mean

you know it's totally healthy to

fantasize from time to time i know i

know that

i mean you've been harrison ford you've

been david bowie

one time you were the brawny paper towel

again

we were in the kitchen

okay well it wasn't the waitress but it

was somebody i'm gonna go make some

coffee oh come on give me a hand

is she living or is she dead dead alive

in the fantasy

come on honey who is she i'm gonna find

out

remember you're not gonna get inside my

head i get inside your pants and your

head doesn't have that tricky button fly

all right so it's the 10 day ocean dream

cruise with the three island itinerary

ah

diggity dog it's greg's birthday and i

get to go to the caribbean

well he has been working very hard and

you are married to him

now we are going to need two adjoining

cabins with a common parlor

it's one o'clock you say you're going to

make her buy us a big fancy lunch

hang on susan

two cabins yes you did know edward and i

were coming along

i was hoping i just didn't want to jinx

it

let me show you some brochures about day

trips to some of the out of the way

islands oh

good i would like to avoid the areas

where children tug at you and try to

sell you

things it's very awkward

you look pretty happy for someone about

to go on a slow boat to hell

i'm not going anywhere as soon as i tell

greg what happened he's gonna put a stop

to it even if he has to drink all the

water in the world like the five chinese

brothers

you know back home that book is the five

american brothers

you know what if we're gonna k*ll off

this cruise i should probably get greg

something really kick-ass for his

birthday

wish i knew what he wanted what would

make your husband really happy

huh naked with a bowl

maybe with a bacon cheeseburger between

her breasts

sure boy am i hungry

wait if i can find out who greg's

fantasy woman is maybe i can get her to

sign an autographed picture or something

dumber you know what we need to do right

now take you out and buy you some proper

cruise where

um actually susan's getting kind of

hungry

oh i'm fine come on let's go get you a

nice smart pantsuit with a big shiny

anchor on it

i got to figure out what to do here i

got to get out of going on this cruise

with my parents

no kidding dharma thinks that i should

tell them the truth and try to establish

a more honest relationship with them

i guess i'm thinking of going with an

inner ear problem that'll work out

hey all right boys big night pizza and

videos

we've got choices julia roberts

sharon stone or maybe america's girl

next door

sandra bullock huh huh

over three sh**t what game are we

playing

i'm trying to figure out who greg thinks

about when he's having sex

you know that probably depends you know

if he's trying to slow down or speed up

for me it's anna kournikova on the gas

and tommy lasorda on the break

hey honey while you're getting some

plates you want to do a little reading

maybe

little l mcpherson oh rebecca romain

stamos

or the cool and yet detached beauty of

one ms

martha stewart

martha stewart's an attractive woman

ah-ha so should i send her a little

thank you muffin basket

why is this so important to you it's

just that i believe that the more we

know about each other's fantasies and

desires the better time we're gonna have

having sex

all right honey if you're really

uncomfortable telling me that's totally

fine

okay

it's not just elena sonnenberg oh

sure she's a famous concert violinist

she's played with orchestras all over

the world she won the walter nomberg

competition oh she sounds hot

she's very sensual when she performs

we we kind of met once

you met one well did you two fiddle

around

no i i was in new york it was about six

or seven years ago and um

you know i was in this little restaurant

and uh

nadja was sitting at the bar and i kind

of caught her eye and she gave me one of

these

get it back she did this

no it wasn't bad she was just more like

this anyway when i left she was leaving

and

it was raining so we ended up sharing a

cab for like four blocks

and nothing we talked about what well

you know

the weather classical music my theory

that yo-yo ma

is to the cello what carl sagan wants to

science an important popularizer but not

a groundbreaker

sounds like you had a moment

we did

wait a minute trying to guess greg's

fantasy girl

but dharma you're a greg's fantasy girl

you won't shut up about it at work

that ought to be good for about a half

day off huh

celia the leche is not very bueno is it

i'm sorry mrs montgomery i will bueno it

up for you

what did she mean by that i don't know i

don't speak spanish like you do mother

no thank you um listen there was

something i wanted to talk to you about

today um

dharma told me about the cruise oh and i

could make something up but the truth is

yes i've developed an inner ear problem

and it's going to give me vertigo on the

boat

oh yeah oh have you seen anybody yes i

saw dr cranston

didn't he retire yes but i i i saw him

on the golf course

oh and he examined your ear right there

on the golf course

well there was a slow foursome in front

of us and and he had a

flashlight on his keychain and and i i

i i don't have an inner ear problem

mother the truth is

i don't want to go on the cruise with

you and dad

oh i i know that's blunt but frankly i

wish we had the kind of family where we

could be honest instead of having to

tiptoe around

people forgive me but i'm not aware of

anybody who has to tiptoe around me

come on mother do you really think that

dad enjoyed sitting on a blanket in the

park and watching othello

he cried it's because you ran out of

wine

what about celia what about her celia

spent 30 years in this country don't you

think she finds it a little

condescending

that you speak to her in broken spanish

oh oh

i don't mean to upset your mother please

gregory why would i be upset

it's delightful to find out that one son

considers one to be a

a despotic monster

and if you and um ever have children i

hope i will be permitted to visit them

i think this is a real breakthrough for

the whole family

hi honey hi how was your day

how was work how was pete uh good fine

and uh hungover

what are you doing i got you your

birthday present

i didn't have time to wrap it actually

you do because my birthday's not till

next week

there you go

so this is something we'll enjoy

watching together

oh yes i think this is really going to

work for you

oh boy hi greg

it's me nadja just wanted to say hello

to my number one fan

and next time you're in new york city i

share another cab

[Applause]

[Music]

wow

that's your fantasy girl

how did you get her to do that oh you're

never going to believe it i tracked her

down to a concert hall in minneapolis i

told her all about you

the restaurant in the cab right now you

think about her when we have sex

well good so you covered everything

oh she thought it was adorable i don't

know what to say

you want to watch it again uh maybe

maybe later i'm just gonna go

uh change my clothes

i get the wrong nadia salerno sonnenberg

it's not exactly the reaction i was

hoping for

we didn't even have sex

totally putting off calling nadja she's

gonna be really disappointed

well actually honey i'm not surprised

frank responded that way

abby when it starts coming back out does

that mean he's full

well he usually eats one whole jar one

okay

all done dharma you have to understand

that male sexuality is a delicate

delicate thing

since when and i'm afraid that by

shining a light on greg's fantasy you

destroyed it

poor greg i kicked in the motel room

door of his libido with a search warrant

and a cop

sweetie it's all right i'm sure that he

has other women he thinks about during

sex

i know you're just trying to make me

feel better but i can't count on that

we're gonna have to find some way to

replace greg's fantasy

you want your husband to think about me

while you're having sex

that's what we're hoping for

so then you know i tried to find another

violinist who would flirt with him but i

gotta tell you they're a pretty prudish

bunch

and uh then i thought you know maybe it

doesn't have to be a violinist at all

maybe it was more about the restaurant

in the moment

yeah this no not this it was like that

so what do you say this is the creepiest

thing i've ever heard

or loving it's not like he's some weird

raincoat black socks kind of guy it's

not like he's gonna stalk you

no he's just gonna think about me you're

not gonna do this are you

no okay

boy picking up chicks is hard

you know what listen if you're really

not doing this because you think it's

creepy that's totally cool but if you're

at all saying no

because you're uncomfortable with how

beautiful you are you should deal with

that because you

are a babe and you should be celebrating

your babishness

hey you know i don't have a problem with

how i look okay

i'm fine with how i look

it's other people you know

they're the ones with the problem they

see this this face in this body and

i have a mind

you let it out let it out nobody thinks

a beautiful woman can be talented

nobody takes me seriously

that's that's why i had to give up my

dream

and what did you want to be a

hairdresser

hello mother

what were you thinking this is about

mother i assume

i race you like my own son i

walked you to your first day of school i

made you

fish sticks and tattered thoughts your

mother forbid it

you're up

what were you thinking all i did was

tell mother the truth about the crews

and suggest that we try to be more

honest with each other

well that was a damn stupid thing to do

things were going along just fine people

got up they went about their business

they had a little something to eat and

they went to bed

and if there was some kind of trouble we

we dealt with it in our own way without

going on and on about how we felt or

what we thought

see the value in that

i don't know what i was thinking i

should never have told my mother the

truth i should have just sucked it up

and gone on the cruise

no i think it was good that you told me

the truth

this is a friend of yours who did your

hair

yup you know what i think i will have a

glass of wine

i'm gonna go see what they've got well

honey the list is right here oh

well no you just can't trust him honey

you gotta see it come out of the bottle

a glass of red wine please

all right let's make a fantasy here did

he notice your hair

he did is he looking

if he keeps looking away you gotta lock

eyes i'm

looking looking isn't blocking watch

sure you got the hair working for ya

gotta go back now but when i get it from

the table you try again

i already have less i know but you can

never have too much

then it goes right through you you

didn't even drink yours

just the thought of it

[Music]

okay

[Laughter]

[Music]

i forgot my purse

i'll get it oh i just need my lip gloss

oh it's right there

there you go thank you i think it's

under there okay okay

what are you doing with them buy me a

drink

i'm buying you dinner who are you

working for here

come on greg look up no no my sunglasses

are clean honey that's just a scratch

please don't find the loose screw

[Music]

hi she has low blood sugar and she needs

to eat right away

and she's thirsty

own empathy

[Laughter]

[Music]

cleaning your glasses with tissue

because you know that will scratch them

good to know hey it's raining

new shoes we should take a cab okay

there's one why don't you go get it chop

chop

i'm sure

sorry i did everything i could yeah

until your dinner came and you never

looked up again

how do you not weigh 300 pounds why are

you so upset with me

i don't know maybe because it looks like

my head was licked by a flock of cows

anyway we have one last sh*t just follow

my lead

honey this nice lady is going in our

direction

and she's too full to walk so we're

gonna give her a ride

okay nice lady go ahead hop in go ahead

sweetie no greg you go ahead

you know what these shoes are waterproof

or so they say i better test them out

you guys go ahead

what's going on here and have yourself a

fantasy

we'll take the next one

karma dharma do you want to tell me

what's going on here

i ruined your niger fantasy you know

the restaurant the rain the cab

i was trying to get you someone new that

woman who just burped in the cab

she's your mother's travel agent and i

had to let her do my hair and buy her

dinner and two appetizers

and you still don't have a fantasy girl

sorry

i don't need a fantasy girl

really really

so you'll find someone on your own

that's what i'm saying

mother dad i want to apologize for what

happened before

and the reason that i said all those

things is because i was overwhelmed by

the generosity of your gift and

embarrassed by your

generosity

well that's understandable yes that

makes sense

and i can't tell you how excited darma

and i are to go on the cruise with you

and dad

you're welcome oh cafe con

dolce ha ha bueno habisi montgomery

habla pagnolcomona idiot

gracias