05x17 - She's with the Band

[bunniefuu]

i think greg's right streamlining is the

key to this merger

i suppose i don't think there's a point

in having both a new york and a

philadelphia office oh

enough business enough kathy i don't

know about you but i'll be delighted

when this merger is done

i have not seen my husband in weeks i

know what you mean

yeah if it wasn't for me showing up at

the office buck naked in a raincoat greg

and i would have no quality time

i tried to get him to do phone sex but

he's not really a dirty talker it's not

really something you can teach

we were talking business i am enjoying

working with your son he really has a

firm grasp on the ins and outs of this

merger oh you guys should try phone sex

i think he's a natural

oh my goodness it's getting late oh

honey it's still early

let's go salsa dancing

don't i don't think the kinks are salsa

dancing people

well honey that's why the good lord

invented tequila sh**t

i'm in certainly

not don't worry i'm not gonna ask for

money i'm just here to do my laundry

kelly can't you say hello to our guests

hi i'm kelly i'm a big disappointment to

my parents

more coffee yes it's delicious yes

thanks

it's jamaican blue mountain isn't anyone

going to go talk to the angry girl with

the dirty clothes

she doesn't want to hear from us yeah

you're probably right

i'll do it don't wait gregory

let her go her working here is done

dean's listed berkeley she quits to join

a rock and roll band yes but we're

hoping she put that behind her dear

it seems the band broke up because the

drummer was arrested

well that's certainly good news dharma

your copy's getting cold

what are you worried about son greg

guess what i just joined a rock and roll

band

well that

[Music]

so

[Applause]

not bad and she has tons of experience

yeah i played in a bunch of garage bands

and i played in jamaican steel drum band

on fisherman's wharf and also a friend

of mine used to stalk phil collins so i

actually learned a lot just standing

outside his place and listening

yeah yeah kelly says we can use your

dad's van that's right she's in

you're in i mean that's so cool

bad news guys she's in a band

she's in this band all right

i promise if we hit it big you'll quit

the other one

scouts so do we have a name we keep

changing our minds first

we were the bottom feeders and then we

were joe and then carpet burn

how about this suspicious looking mole

i think we should just commit to a name

and have it tattooed on our asses

in that case i vote for joe and maybe

without the e

good it wasn't a dream my wife really

did join a band

hi minnie you remember kelly and this is

simone and that's jared

and i'm jared

no jared

[Laughter]

honey can i uh talk to you in the

kitchen for a second sure

they call each other honey could you

just stick needles in your eyes or what

you can but you shouldn't

so are you gonna finally tell me what's

bugging you okay look now that i'm

working for my dad's company when we're

in these social situations like last

night it's different from when i had my

own practice you know

i i really feel like i'm under the

microscope honey i know that that's why

i'm doing everything i can to help you

i know you think you are i went with you

to the business dinner i was nice to the

people i befriended their daughter i

joined her band how is that not helping

okay why don't we focus on i joined her

rock band and we'll come back to i was

nice to the people

great kelly's parents are angry because

they feel like she's wasting her life

if she can succeed at this they'll come

around and if she can't she'll realize

it on her own

and stop blaming them for holding her

back this way a family heals

her dad gets to concentrate on business

the merger goes through capitalism

thrives i get to have a tattoo on my

butt and be in a band win win win

win ouch and win

that went well

uh before we go over these numbers i'd

just like to say something about what

happened the other night

uh i think dharma joining the band could

give kelly a chance to get this out of

her system

or maybe your wife stuck her nose in

where it doesn't belong

that's another valid way of looking at

it we were making progress with the girl

we were going to get her back in school

there were worse things she could be

doing than playing in a rock band i'm

not so sure about that

the other night the wife and i were

watching something called laith garrett

behind the music

poor sad bastard

sure but sean cassidy turned out okay

i'm sorry to interrupt mr montgomery but

there's a telephone call

is it urgent well we haven't been

working together long enough for me to

be making that judgment

what is it apparently your wife and her

band are playing nude on the roof of

your building and the police have

arrived

for god's sake for a future reference

janet with my wife that sort of thing

really isn't urgent

[Music]

i'm an attorney and i will explain it to

them and uh they're really very sorry

what law says you can't stand naked on

the roof of your own building and play

music

it's actually two separate laws dharma

i don't get how this is any different

than singing in the shower

i'm sure you don't um thanks very much

for understanding

hey tell randy down in central booking

that simone says yo

haven't you embarrassed your mother

enough you have to parade yourself in

front of all of san francisco

san francisco doesn't really mind this

kind of thing

what was the thinking here well this is

the cool part about being in a band you

know you're making music the creativity

is flowing

and people get these ideas we were

jamming and jared said hey let's go play

on the roof

and i said let's go play on the roof

naked

i said cool all right kelly let's go

i don't think so can i just say

something no

i know the naked thing is a little like

182.

but man is good and don't you think that

what kelly wants to do with her life is

her choice not while she's living in an

apartment that i'm paying the rent on

you know what keep your apartment keep

your damn money

okay we've got that figured out let's go

downstairs where are you going to live

on the street

maybe maybe your friends would enjoy

hearing about the kincaid's little girl

homeless and destitute you know what

don't worry she's not going to live on

the street she can stay with us

kelly how is that not helping

so uh the naked girls in the band

they're cute

i wasn't really looking at them pete oh

yeah i understand

i mean your wife's up there naked too

you pretty much got to look at her most

of the time

but was there one of the girls a little

harder not to look at than the other

see you weren't looking at the guy were

you

although if you look at the guy a little

bit first then you look at the girls

nobody's suspicious huh

yeah they just think you're looking at

naked people

they're not catching on that you're

looking at naked women

like at the museum

dude if you really need to look at naked

women they're magazines

sure sure but it's nice to get out

hello boys hi dad hey boss listen

gregory kenneth kincade uh gave me a

jingle something about

naked people on the roof of your

building and that's all they were to

greg just naked people

thank you pete uh what exactly went on

well apparently somebody said let's play

on the roof and somebody else said let's

play naked on the roof and dharma

couldn't stop them no matter how hard

she tried

well good for her for trying that's what

i said gregory uh i've known ken

kade for um a good many years

he's a bit of a stick in the mud would

you feel better if i

uh took it from here no dad that's not

necessary i

i really would like to see this through

look

these things happen i i remember the

first big account i handled for my

father i was a young

single fellow about to make a huge sale

to a company in cleveland

i flew out there to meet with a guy and

i had to make a long story short i

i ended up having a little fling with

his wife

really it wasn't my fault i

uh i'd never had a tom collins before

and and when your dad found out he took

you off the account oh no no no they

were getting a divorce

uh she got the company he became one of

our biggest clients so we do business

with him even today of course

woman's in her 90s now the bloom is off

the rose

you know what i mean what does this have

to do with uh dharma joining kelly's

band

oh i guess it's not an exact parallel

well anyway i'll try to smooth things

over with kimcade

uh dad it's not mrs lindstrom is it

well she had her own hair and teeth once

thanks for letting us use your van oh my

pleasure i'm sorry it was so windy back

there

what happened to the side door oh larry

took it out he's toying with the idea of

putting in a bay window

where do you want me to put this larry

that stays in the van no

i think that's mine

yep that's my tire

hello hi is uh

all this stuff kelly's no see here's the

thing no no thanks no

thanks they all lived with kelly for a

while when she moved out they had

nowhere else to go donna can i speak to

you privately in the kitchen i don't

think so it's kind of simone's room now

have you ever heard of knocking

i don't think i like her i know that's

why i put her in there

i don't believe it or not my problem is

not the woman shaving her armpits where

i

wash my lettuce oh good for you greg

that show's gross

my father called me on the carpet today

in his own

strange way because of me well darm in

the last 48 hours you've convinced

kenneth kincade's daughter to quit

college you played naked with her on the

roof and now

she and her band are living with us it's

not like you're gonna get fired

it's not about getting fired it's about

how i look professionally and i really

need your support here

you want to talk about someone who is

not being supportive

you haven't said one supportive thing

about this band how can

you compare my job to this ridiculous

band there it is

right there right there you all just

heard it oh dharma

wait

dude your snake's clogged

hey hi your mom said you'd be down here

when i'm angry i like to slice slam it's

very calming

plus dimitri doesn't mind i got a white

falafel

sandwich

what's up listen i know what you're

going through

greg is just like my dad everything you

do is wrong

he's not really like your father they

won't let you play in a band they don't

even want to talk about you getting your

nipples pierced

it's all right yeah maybe he's a little

like your father

i said a bladder that's a

i wish i could deal with my parents the

way you handled brent

how do i handle greg you know you don't

tiptoe around him

you do whatever you want you want to be

in a band boom

you're in a band you want the band to

move in boom there they are

you don't waste your time explaining

things because you know he's never going

to get it

so screw him right well

[Music]

you cover for me here please i guess

i need a a greek salad and two euros

hi hi

where is everybody well jared and your

dad went to see a guy

with red hair who may or may not still

live in san leandro

and simone borrowed our steak knives and

went to some sort of religious service

phil you were right i have been making

your life harder and i'm really sorry no

no this is my fault i shouldn't have

dragged you to the kincaids in the first

place they're

boring stuffy people and of course they

don't get you

that's their problem i get you yeah most

the time

and come on be honest you know you don't

really like going to these dull

business dinners and playing guess whose

wife got a facelift

no that's a plan for money so

you know what i'm thinking is i'll just

go to these things alone and you can do

the things you like to do you know get

into the band get a sound

this is what you want to do yeah i think

it's a good plan

tomorrow night there's a um reception

for some konesco executives and and

you don't have to go um okay

okay i mean i know it's not a perfect

solution oh that's fine

you bring me back some big shrimp sure

see in this way you don't have to ruin a

perfectly good bra bringing them home

it's not ruined it's still my shrimp bra

ah thank you son have you met the boys

from uh from kinesco this is ralph

dawkins and carl walker from the midwest

marketing division nice to meet you oh

there's a

there's kenneth let's say hello i'm sure

we'll be seeing a lot of each other

actually you won't after the merger

they're toast

kenneth welcome to the montgomery

industries family

thank you edward you know i owe your son

here an apology

i gave him a hard time about his wife

but it turned out that dharma getting

involved with my daughter really did

work out for the best

well i'm not surprised i am ted what

happened

well she put an end to this whole band

thing she quit

kicked the kids out of your apartment

this morning kelly's back with us

talking about finishing college tell her

thanks for me

hey you can tell her yourself look

ladies i am

so sorry i'm late i was almost out the

door when i realized i was wearing last

year's scar so i had to spin my knee and

marcus and i was taking the valet

forever to find the car was taking so

long it was almost easier to just go buy

a new one

i know the feeling so glad that you're

here your husband said you weren't

coming

well you know i think it's better to

keep them on a need-to-know basis

all right girls kitty this is my

absolute

favorite color on you is it yes

yeah are you feeling all right don

lipster excuse us

do not leave until we talk about those

shoes yum

what are you doing check me out i'm a

corporate wife

i'm wearing pantyhose

this is new we like this

i told you you didn't have to come here

i wanted to come why

okay i don't want to do separate things

honey

it starts with me not coming with you to

these parties and then we go on separate

vacations and then pretty soon we have

separate bedrooms and then pretty soon

we're in separate houses and then you

decide to sell yours then you fall in

love with a real estate

agent i find out about it start hitting

the bottle and then one day i'm on my

bus bench in front of the liquor store

you want to buy and you don't even know

me

that's not gonna happen damn right it's

not gonna happen because i'm gonna come

to these boring functions and i am going

to talk about shopping

and i'm going to walk around like i have

a riding crop on my butt just like

everybody else at this party

i'm just getting the hang of it next

time it'll go better

okay how cool is this

i went to saks and i got a makeover

and then i went to neiman's and they

made me back

nice

who's that that's either joe or

suspicious looking mole they were going

to vote when you get up there

i swear to god i told them they couldn't

play here anymore even wrote it down and

made jared read it back to me

i i called them they were a little uh

ticked at you for quitting but i

explained it was my fault and i think

that they understood although simone did

put a curse on me

honey i told you i didn't want to do

separate lives yeah i know

that's why we're going to go back to the

way we used to do things how's that well

you know

we love each other a lot my parents

aren't crazy about you your parents

aren't crazy about me you go to my

things you embarrass the hell out of me

you embarrass me at my things

really huh

anyway it worked kind of for four and a

half years so i think we ought to you

know stick to it

what's mr kincaid going to say when he

finds out kelly's back in the band

it's going to be a little awkward for me

at work and uh you know he and kelly

will have some things to deal with he's

gonna crap a cow yeah basically

okay

i'll be up on the roof have fun nope not

naked not naked

[Music]

my baby

[Music]

here he comes walking down the line

the kind of guy that makes me feel so

far

i had some guys standing all alone

hey pretty baby let me take you home

i really saw him i really really saw him

here we go now

[Music]

okay