03x03 - Moments in Love, Chapter 3

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Master of None". Aired: November 6, 2015 – May 23, 2021.*
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Follows the personal and professional life of Dev, a 30-year-old actor in New York.
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03x03 - Moments in Love, Chapter 3

Post by bunniefuu »

[car approaching]

[Steve] Okay, let's go see what we got.

-[Steve] Hi.
-Hi. Welcome.

-[Mandy] Hi.
-[Steve] It's like a fairy tale.

It's beautiful, right?

-Come in. I've got some details for you.
-[Steve] Look at this. Wow.

[Mandy] Oh, it's gorgeous.

[Paula] Mind the steps there.

-[Mandy] Oh.
-[Steve] Thank you.

-[Paula] Get the door?
-[Steve] Sure.

[Paula] Thank you. Follow me.

-So…
-[Steve] This is nice.

Like I said, this house
is over 150 years old.

-[Mandy] Oh, wow.
-[Steve] Wow.

All the original features are here.

That is a working open fireplace.

-[Mandy] Yeah!
-It's beautiful.

[Paula] Take a look around.
Take your time.

I'll just be in the kitchen.

-This place is gorgeous.
-Look at this.

What's the catch?

[laughing] Why are they trying
to get rid of this place?

[Paula] Uh, you know,
they're actually going through

a bit of a separation at the moment.

-So, yeah.
-[Steve] Oh, no.

Things aren't working out as planned,
so you're just gonna get a move on that.

-[Mandy] Right.
-[Steve] That's a shame.

[Paula] Here's the kitchen,

and there's some nice seating area
by the window for breakfast.

[Steve] The island, is it staying?

[Paula] This is not an island.
This will be going.

Again, it's throughout,
we have the original features.

-[Steve] I love it.
-[Mandy] I love this.

And through here,
we've got a slightly smaller room.

You can get a single bed in here.

But to be honest, I think
it's more suitable for a nursery.

-[Mandy laughing] Oh, Steve, a nursery!
-[Steve] Okay.

[Mandy] This could totally be a nursery.

We could put a cot there
and our rocking chair there.

[Paula] And you've got
this beautiful arch.

You can actually use this
as a measuring gauge

-to see how tall the children are getting.
-[Mandy laughing]

[Steve] I like that as a feature.
That's nice.

[cell phone alarm ringing]

[exhales deeply]

[electric toothbrush whirring]

You good?

Yeah. I guess.

Do you have any plans
to go away this winter?

No.

So my lawyers have
looked over everything, they're happy.

Are yours?

Why are you talking to me like this?

Like we on
The People's Court or something.

I just came here to get the papers signed.

So we really getting divorced
'cause we cheated on each other?

It just doesn't make sense to me.

I mean, Jesse Jackson,

Mr. Keep Hope Alive himself,

-has a kid with another woman.
-Stop with the jokes!

I came to pick up my sh*t
and get the f*ck out of here,

so sign the f*cking papers.

You know what this is?

You know what this is?

This is marriage.

Right here.

It's a f*cking fight.

[Alicia sighs]

Either you stay or you go.

I'm going!

I'm trying to get the f*ck out of here!

And you know what's so f*cking funny,

is that if your book had gone well
like you thought it would have,

I would not have even
been able to get through to you.

You would've been in
Manhattan somewhere, knee-deep in p*ssy.

I'd be talking to your f*cking assistant.

"Knee-deep in p*ssy"?
Who am I, Barry White?

f*ck's sake!

[softly] f*ck.

Okay. All right. Stop.

Okay. Alicia, please!

Just give me five minutes.

That's all I'm asking.

God damn it, we done been through so much.

-All I want is five minutes.
-Okay.

And if you give me that,
I'll leave you alone.

I'll sign the papers. I'll let you go.

Just give me five minutes, please.

-You wanna talk?
-Yes.

Okay, let's talk.

In this relationship,
I gave you everything.

I gave you everything I could.

I put you… before me.

And you know what you never asked me?

You never asked me,
"Alicia, what do you want out of this?"

"What do you want out of us?"

And when I told you what I wanted,

I had to drag you kicking and screaming.

I am not in service to you.

I belong to me.

I am not a prop in your success.

I am not your support in failure.

So we can
go over and over this again and again,

round and round in circles…

but it's none of my business anymore.

It's not.

I'm done.

I am f*cking exhausted.

So please sign the f*cking papers now.

Sign it.

[sighs deeply]

[door opens and closes]

[footsteps receding]

[car engine starts]

[car departs]

[sighs]

So you really gotta sell?

You can't rent it out
for a few months or something?

Nah.

There's too many memories here, man.

I gotta let it go.

[Dev sighs]

Sorry. I know it was your dream.

I don't even know if this…
was my dream anymore.

It kinda all got… lost, you know?

You doing okay
with all the… divorce stuff?

I don't think anybody
could do okay with divorce stuff.

-[both chuckle softly]
-Like, sucks, you know?

It's like the ultimate failure in life.

Um, I don't know if it's
the ultimate failure in life.

[laughs] It feels like it. Straight up.

I feel like a… I don't know…

It's a failure right now,
but in the long term it's a success.

A failure would be staying with some fool

you're not
supposed to be with for 20 years.

That's a… That's a failure.

That's true. That's true.

Look, it's not a failure.

You're two people
who are in different moments.

You wanted different things. You know?

Could you imagine
if you had a baby right now?

What would you do?
Like, smoke weed with the baby?

-I hope not.
-[chuckles]

Should I stop
smoking weed and have a baby?

Those aren't the only two options
in life. You can do other stuff.

It's not like "smoke weed and
eat candy or raise children," you know.

-Right.
-You're both just in different moments,

and people split up
'cause of that all the damn time.

Yeah.

[sighs deeply]

Thank you, man.

I appreciate you being here…

especially after, you know…

I kind of got all caught up

in meeting
all these famous people and sh*t.

And now, I'm here in a half-empty house,

and the… [snorts]
the only person I'm with is you.

[chuckles]

You've always been there for me, man.

I appreciate you.

Appreciate you, too.

-You really went full Hammer.
-[chuckling]

-Sold the chains, selling the house.
-I know.

sh*t.

-Now you gotta do the gospel album.
-I do.

-We got to pray just to make it today.
-Come on.

-We gotta do Behind the Music.
-[both laughing]

The Retrospective.

I gotta find
all those friends I gave loans to.

-[laughing]
-You know, say, "Hey, man."

What? You were giving out loans?

I didn't get a loan.
I could've used a loan.

I didn't know
you were living with your parents.

-You could've helped me with my hair.
-I could've got you hair plugs.

It's looking good, man.
I think she was wrong.

Your hair is thickening up, bro. It's…

[laughing]

-You look good to me.
-[exclaims softly]

[Denise taping box]

[cell phone vibrating]

-Hey, Mom.
-[Catherine] Hey.

Now's not the best time.

I'm… I'm dealing with a lot right now.

Well, so am I.

I had to clear out
the last of Mama's stuff today.

[sighs]

I'm sorry. I should have
came by to help y'all do that.

It's okay.
Me and your aunt Joyce took care of it.

How are you?

I'm all right.

Just packing up the house.

Trying to get out of here.

I know I'm always
telling you to be strong.

Now, read your Bible.

I don't know why. I don't own a Bible.

-You want me to buy you one?
-No, I don't.

Well, you can talk to me.

I'm here to listen.

Just feel like I messed everything up.

I worked so hard
to get here, and now I'm all alone.

I just feel so far away from everybody.

-You always got me.
-[scoffs]

Well, if all you got
is your mama, that's not the best sign.

sh*t. Sometimes a mama is all you need.

True.

You know,
I know you wanna take over the world,

but I don't want you
to leave everybody behind while you do it.

Do you know last year,
I had to talk to your assistant

just so I could
send your ass a birthday gift?

I'm sorry. I was traveling.

I know you're in the valley right now.

But just remember, after every dark night,

there's a brighter day.

This too shall pass.

Okay, Pastor.

And when it does, you'll be better for it.

You'll be stronger and wiser.

Without a test,
you can't have a testimony.

[sighs deeply]

I love you, baby.

I love you, too, Ma.

[door closes]

[operatic song playing]
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