05x10 - Join the Club!

[bunniefuu]

Narrator:

Narrator: This

Narrator: This is

Narrator: This is the

Narrator: This is the
Evergreen

Quiet, peaceful, serene.

That is, until
Bert Raccoon wakes up.

Bert Raccoon: Yahoooo!

♪♪

Yeeeehaaaa!

Yikes!

Yaaaah...
[bam!]

[laughs]
[smash!]

Yeaaaah!

Narrator: Luckily, he has some
good friends to help him out.

Broo: [panting]

♪♪

Narrator: Life would be simple
in the forest except for...

Cyril Sneer!

[bleep blarp bloop]

And his life would be simple
except for...

the Raccoons!!

♪ [show theme music]

♪♪

Narrator: When a businessman
arrives in the Evergreen Forest

looking to make a big deal,

there is one person he can
always count on meeting.

Cyril Sneer. But today,

Cyril finds himself with a
little competition.

Cyril: Knox?!
But JD, we don't need him!

JD: Perhaps, but there's nothing
like a little competition

to get the best deal in town.

We'll wait for Mr Knox.

Cyril: Why wait? We can
cut a deal right this minute.

And in 5 minutes, be cutting
into a couple of sirloin steaks!

JD: Steaks, you said?

Cyril: Yes, with baked
potatoes, gravy and..

JD: ..sour dough rolls?
Ohh yes! Yes!!

Pigs: Hmmm...

Cyril: You heard the man!
Let's roll!

Mr Knox: What the..?!

[chug chug chug]

Cyril: Move it, you meatheads!!

Mr Knox: Greetings, JD!

So kind of y'all to
wait for me, Mr Sneer.

Cyril: Nothing personal, Knox.
It's just business.

Well, thanks to
our late arrival,

there's going to be
trouble getting a table!

Mr Knox: Might I suggest we dine

at my new private club,

Loch Links?

JD: Well then,
we could eat right away!

Hmmmm...

I can almost smell the food!

Cyril: I smell something too,
and it's a bit fishy.

JD: Ohh, your club
is marvelous, Mr Knox!

Mr Knox:
Every important tycoon in town

belongs to this club.

JD: I take it you are
member too, Mr Sneer?

Cyril: Ohh no. This place is
nothing but a takeout joint.

- I'm so sorry, Mr Knox.

You are allowed but one guest.

Mr Knox: Oh, yes, I forgot.

Uh, JD, please just go on ahead.

Cyril:
Hey, what's going on here?

Do you have any idea
who you're throwing out?

- A very loud, pink man.

Cyril: Knox, you're
stealing my business deal!

Mr Knox:
And many more, I expect,

'cause as long as
I'm in the club,

you are out of luck, Sir.

Cyril: Owwww!

Mr Knox: Nothing personal
though. It's just business.

Lisa:
Donna's just about the coolest,

most sophisticated
person I know.

Why, everyone at school
wants to hang out with her,

but she's coming to see me,

and her train will be here
in less than an hour.

Bert: Oh, that's great, Lisa.

Lisa: Uh say, where did you guys
get all this old stuff?

Cedric: From my Pop. He said,
some of this stuff came

from a clubhouse he belonged
to when he was a kid.

They called themselves
The Young Tycoons.

Hey, look, this must
have been theirs.

What a gorgeous color.

It's just what you need to
brighten this place up.

Wouldn't it look great here?

- [shout] FORE!
Lisa: What the...?

- [ZING] [crash]
Bert: Huh?!

Lisa: What was that?
Cedric: It looked like a ball.

Bert: Come on, let's
find out what's going on!

Lisa: A golf course?!

Cedric: This must be part
of that new Country Club

I heard Pop talking about.

Bert: Hey, maybe they'll let us

sh**t a couple 'a
holes sometime.

- Private property!!
Get out of here kid!






Bert/Cedric: Uaaaah!

Cedric: I wouldn't
count on it, Bert.

Pig: Joining this club
is a great idea, boss.

Cyril: Great? It's brilliant!

And once I'm in,
Knox will have no way

of nabbing anymore
of my customers!

Pig: Good luck with
the interview, boss.

Cyril: Luck?! I don't
need luck. I'm rich.

- Sit down, Mr Sneer!!

And we shall begin
our investigation.

Cyril: Investigation?!

[chuckles] I just
want to join your club.

- Mr Sneer!

There are procedures to follow.

All new members must
follow our rules

and perform an initiation rite.

Cyril: So, there's no chance for
that card 'til this afternoon?

- We need to know all
about you, Mr Sneer.

Who are your friends?
What schools did you attend?

Are you a winner,
or are you a loser?

Bert: I can't
believe those guys!

First they fire a golf ball
into our clubhouse window,

and then they
nearly run us down!

What's wrong with them?!

Cedric: Maybe we just
caught them at a bad time.

Lisa: Time! What
time is it, Cedric?

[gasps] Donna's train is
gonna be here any minute.

I gotta go!
Cedric: See you, Lisa!

Come on, Bert.
Can't we just forget about

those guys at the golf course?

Bert: No, we can't.

Listen to this!

Attention occupants,

Loch Links Golf and Country Club

wish to inform you that
your primitive clubhouse

has been deemed an eyesore.

Cedric: We demand
removal of this shack,

or further action
shall be taken.

Bert: They want us to
tear down our clubhouse!

- Mr Sneer, we have
reached a decision.

We believe you have
the qualifications

that we require at Loch Links.

Cyril: Great! I'm in!
This will show Knox!

[laughing]

- Sit down, Mr Sneer!

You're not in the club yet.

Cyril: Ohh, forgot my
initiation rites, huh?

- Your initiation rights
are a long way off.

Loch Links is full, but
we have a waiting list

and you are on it now.

Cyril: A waiting list?
How long do I have to wait?

- Just five years.

Cyril: Five years?
- Maybe six.

No one's ever really sure.

Bert: They can't tear
down our clubhouse!

Wait, we're not
even on their land!

Cedric: You're right, Bert.
But we can fix it up a bit.

After all, they're
our neighbors now

and we should try to get along.

Bert: Yeah, I
guess you're right.

With a little work we could
spruce this place up in no time,

but we better be careful,
or those stuffed shirts

at Loch Links will be over here,

wanting to join our club!

Bert/Cedric: [laughing]

Cedric: That's the spirit, Bert.

Bert: Yeah, I'll stick
up that door knocker.

Eh! Hey, where is it?

Cedric: I think,
Lisa had it last.

Bert: I'll go and ask
her if she's seen it.

George: [struggle]

[knock-knock]

Come in!

Bert: Hi George. Hard at work
on another perfect pecan pie?

George: No, not exactly, Bert.

Bert: Ohh, a luxurious
lime mousse!

George: I'm cleaning the oven!

Bert: Ohh. [giggles]

Um, em, is Lisa around?

George: She's
upstairs with Donna.

Bert: Thanks!

[girls giggling]

Lisa? Sorry to bother
you, but I'm looking

for that door knocker and, um..

Lisa: Bert?

Bert: Lisa?

Donna: So, this is Bert Raccoon?

Lisa: Yes. Um, oh,
Bert, this is Donna,

a friend from my old school.

Bert: Uh, hi, Donna.

Lisa, when did
you start smoking?

Lisa: Bert, you've
seen me smoking before.

I've been smoking since.. um..

Donna: I started months ago.

Everybody I know, smokes.

Lisa: Yeah, that's about
when I started, too.

George: [sniffs]

Lisa: Uh, Bert, did
you want something?

Bert: Yeah, I-I was looking
for that door knocker.

Lisa: Ohh yeah, I've
got it right here.

Donna: Light?

Lisa: [coughing]

Bert: You know, these
things can k*ll ya'!

Bert: [coughing] Hey!

Lisa: Here, Bert.

Donna: Oh, that's the
most disgusting color

I've ever seen. Yucko pink!

[giggles]

Lisa: Yeah...yucko pink.

Bert: If you'll excuse me...

Lisa: I'll see you out.
Wait, Bert!

Bert: What's going on here,
Lisa? You never smoked before!

Lisa: I don't need a
lecture, Bert Raccoon!!

George: Hey, Lisa?

Lisa, is something
burning up there?

Honey, could you check and see
if I turned off the iron?

Lisa: Uh, sure, dad.

Bert, promise me you won't tell.

Cyril: I know you're just the
secretary at Lock Links,

but if you were to shovel
things around a bit,

I'm sure we could find a way to

get me into that club of yours.

I've got a pile of paper here,


That might, um...

Hello? Hello?

Heck! I don't know if
I want to belong to a club

that won't even take a bribe!

There's got to be
another way in!

Pig: There is boss.

The Lock Links Open is the
highlight of our golf season.

This annual Fall Classic
is open to all club members

and the general public.
Cyril: So what?!

Pig: First prize is a one year
membership at Lock Links.

Pig 2: So what?!
The boss doesn't golf!

Cyril: Doesn't golf? Ha!

There was a time I practically
lived on a golf course.

Whack! Look out, Knox!

[laughs]

Melissa: So this person..

Bert: But I can't say who it is,

Melissa: ..is doing something,

Bert: But it's not very smart,

Melissa: And you can't say why?

Bert: Right!
Melissa: Right.

Bert: So what should I do?

Melissa: Bert, it sounds like
this person's problem

is something they're going to
have to solve on their own.

You'll just have
to trust your friend.

Bert: Trust, huh?
Yeah, I suppose you're right.

Hey, listen, guys,
don't tell anyone I was

talking to you about this, okay?

Ralph: Talking about what?

Bert: [chuckles]

That's good, Ralph. See ya'!

Lisa: Hi, Bert.
Bert: Huh?

What are you doing here?

Lisa: Well, I kind
of need a favor.

I'm going back with Donna on the
train in a couple of days

for a visit, but I have
to pay my own way.

Could I do your paper route?
Bert: Sure!

This way I could spend more time

fixing up the clubhouse.

Lisa: Thanks, Bert.
You're a real friend.

Bert: Ah, don't mention it.

See you later.
Lisa: Bye, Bert.

Cyril: Great, you
found the old sticks!

Pig 1: Um, boss, don't
you think you should

get a new set of clubs?

Cyril: These clubs
are very dear to me.

Played my first game with them.

[laughs] Knock it
right out of sight!

Pig: Uh, the boss is hopeless.

If he's gonna
win that tournament,

we're gonna have
to do it for him.

Donna: This is so boring!

How much more do we have to do?

Lisa: We're almost done.

Donna: Oh, great. We're down
to our last cigarettes too!

Please tell me there's a store
somewhere in all these trees.

Lisa: Of course there is.

Donna: Good. I'm
going to head back.

Could you pick up
a new deck for me?

Lisa: Uh, what?

Donna: You know, another
pack of cigarettes?

Lisa: Ohh yeah, sure.

Donna: Here's the money.

You know, when we
get back to the city,

you're going to
really fit
right in. See you
later!

♪♪

♪ Oooh, this kinda night,

♪ Music rides the breeze

♪ Wind on your face,

♪ Moon shadows through
the trees ♪

♪ I feel your touch

♪ Like perfume in the air

♪ Everywhere

Tobacco
♪♪

♪ I hear your voice

♪ Come whisper in my ear
Tobacco

♪ If I had a choice,

♪ I'd be getting outta here

♪ But I lost the power

♪ To turn and walk away

♪ Walk away

♪♪

♪ Can't trust myself

♪♪






[laughter]

♪ Can't trust myself

♪♪






[loud laughter]

♪ I'm someone else

♪♪






[evil laughter]

♪ When I'm around you

♪♪

♪ When I'm around you

♪♪

[evil laughter]

♪♪

♪♪






[coughing]

Bert: Lisa?
Lisa: Oh, hi, Bert!

I thought you were going
to work on the clubhouse?

Bert: Yeah, and I
thought you were broke.

You didn't need
money for the train.

You needed it for cigarettes!

And I trusted you, Lisa!

Lisa: Wait! Bert, come back!
Let me explain!

[crowd clapping]
Pig: Uh, wow! Look at that sh*t!

Cyril: Not bad, if you like
long, straight drives.

Pig 2: And he's not
even the favorite to win.

Mr Knox: That's right, boys.

But I am!

Cyril: Great, Knox.
Now take off!

Mr Knox: Why, Cyril..

Is that any way to speak
to your golf partner?

Cyril: Partner?!
Mr Knox: That's right, Mr Sneer!

And I believe, I'm up first.

Membership does
have its advantages!

Cyril: Now, see here, Knox!

I've had enough of your gum
flapping to last me a lifetime!

Pig 3: Gee, the boss
is really losing control.

Pig 2: But it doesn't matter,
because we're in control.

Remote control!

With this little baby, we can
guide the boss's golf ball

all over the course!

[crowd clapping]

Mr Knox: I know how much you
enjoy getting a bargain.

So, watch me closely today

and you'll be getting
a free golf lesson!

[chuckles]

Huh!
Pigs: Yikes!

Crowd: Awwww!

Mr Knox:
Most unfortunate, Mr Sneer.

[bleep blarp]

[crowd clapping]






Cyril: Get that
membership ready, Knox!

Lisa: Hello?
Is anybody home?

Donna: This place is
weird. Can we go?

Lisa: I have to give Bert
his newspaper bag back.

Donna: Oh, just leave it.

Our train will be here
in a couple of hours,

and we still got
to pack, you know.

Lisa: Look, I must talk
to Bert before we go!

Donna: Fine! You can
wait around all you want,

but I'm going!

Pig: This gizmo's
really doing the job!

The boss is the course leader.

Pig 1: Ohh, what style!
What form!

What? What..
[sniffs] Food?!

Pigs: Food?!

Wooohooo!

Pig 2: This little piggie
has roast beef!
Pig 3: Don't be a hog!

Pig 1: Whoops!

Uh-oh! It's ruined!

Oi!

[crackle] [ka-blam!]

Oiii!

Pig 2: And so is
the boss's golf game!

Cyril: He-he, well, at
least it had good speed.

Mr Knox: [laughter]

[splash]

Seems, your game is
falling apart, Mr Sneer.

[chuckles]

Bentley: Wait'll we show the
guys all the balls we found!

Bert?

[balls bouncing]

Hey, neat!

Got a match? [giggles]

Lisa: Bentley Raccoon!
Bentley: Uh...Lisa!

Lisa: Take that thing out of
your mouth right now, Buster!

Bentley: Hey, I was
only fooling around.

Lisa: You don't fool
around with cigarettes!

Do you have any idea what
they can do to your health?

You can't breathe! They smell
awful! They're expensive!

And once you start smoking,

it's almost impossible to stop!

Bentley, cigarettes
are not cool!

Bentley: I know
that stuff already.

And you know,
that I don't smoke!

Brother! Sisters can be so dumb!

Bert: Hey, what's the
problem with Bentley?

Lisa: Me! I just gave him
the full lecture on smoking!

Oh, Bert, I've been so stupid!

I don't want Bentley
to ever start smoking!

I'm finished with those things.

Bert: Hey, that's great!

Lisa: I just hope
Donna thinks so, too.

Mr Knox: One...

Two..

Ha! Three strokes, Mr Sneer!

Cyril: I can count, Knox!

Mr Knox: Y'all
don't have a chance

of winning that membership.

Cyril: You think so, eh?

Mr Knox: Uh huh, and frankly,

some people just don't
belong in a club like this.

I mean, look at that
ridiculous golf bag

and those antique clubs.

This really isn't the
place for.. uh, heh..

...your type.

Cyril: Why, of all the pompous
high-falutin arrogance!

It's time someone knocked that
knucklehead off his high horse!

A Sneer may be down,

but never count him out.

♪♪

[spectators clapping]






Cyril: Yahooo!

♪♪

Mr Knox: Well, you made a
remarkable comeback, Sir,

but I'm afraid it's not enough.

I sink this and I win!

Spectators: Ohh...

Mr Knox: I don't wish to put
any undue pressure on you,

but.. uhh, if y'all
want that membership,

you better make this putt!

Spectators: [gasps]

[clapping]






Cyril:
Thanks for the pep talk, Knox!

Mr Knox:
Congratulations, Mr Sneer.

The Board of Directors asked
me to give this to you.

Cyril: Ahah, my membership?

Mr Knox: Heh! Not exactly.

It's your initiation rites.

Just a silly tradition, really.

Cyril: Silly?!
This is downright juvenile.

Knock down some old shack.

Oh well, in 5 minutes
I'll be knocking back

a victory soda in
the members lounge.

This must be it.

A couple of quick swings
and this place is kindling.

Hey, my old door knocker!

This is Cedric's clubhouse,

and they want me
to knock it down?!

[slam!]
Not a chance!

Lisa: [crying]

Cyril: Eh-ehm.

Something wrong kid?

Lisa: Ohh, Mr Sneer!

I guess, this looks
weird to you, huh?

Cyril: No, I've done
this before...with cigars.

You know, they don't break
nearly as nicely, but

they're just as hard to quit.

Lisa: Oh, I've already quit.

Cyril: Great, but why the tears?

I'd be hilariously
happy if I could quit.

Lisa: But your friends
wouldn't dump you if you did.

I just lost a friend.

She said I wouldn't
fit in with her crowd.

Cyril: Listen kid, some crowds
just are not worth belonging to.

Lisa: Yeah, but
I wanted to belong.

Cyril: Crowds, clubs,
it's all the same deal.

You do what they want,
they let you join up.

Pretty soon,
you're just like them.

I was almost a
Loch Links lemming.

You don't want to be
one of those, do you?

Lisa: I guess not.
Cyril: Dare to be different!

And never mind what
the crowd thinks,

because as long as they're
talking about you,

they'll never forget about you!

Lisa: I guess, you're right.

You know, Mr Sneer,
you're a lot different

than what people had told me.

You're okay!

Cyril: What people?
What did they say?

Were there three of them?
Short little fat guys

with flat noses
and squeaky voices?

Lisa: [laughing]

Cyril: This is quite a privilege

being allowed to put
the first stroke

of new paint on your clubhouse.

Cedric: Well, it was the
least we could do, Pop.

You bought us the paint.

Cyril: I just wanted this
clubhouse of yours

to really stand out.
But I've got to say,

this is an interesting
color you've picked out.

Bert: Lisa picked it out.
It's called...

Lisa/Bert: ...yucko pink!

[laughing]

♪ [show theme music]

♪♪

♪ When darkness falls

♪♪

♪ Leaving shadows in the night

♪♪

♪ Don't be afraid

♪♪

♪ Wipe that fear from
your eyes ♪

♪♪

♪ The desperate love

♪♪

♪ Keeps on driving you wrong

♪♪

♪ Don't be afraid

♪♪

♪ You're not alone

♪♪

♪ You can run with us

♪♪

♪ We've got everything
you need ♪

♪ Run with us

♪♪

♪ We are free

♪♪

♪ Come with us

♪♪

♪ I see passion in your eyes

♪ Run with us

♪♪