01x14 - Shepherd's w*r

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "The Adventures of Sir Lancelot". Aired: 15 September 1956 – 20 April 1957.*
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Legendary stories of the King Arthur's knights of the round table.
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01x14 - Shepherd's w*r

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[bright ambient music]

[triumphant music]

[bold dramatic music]

[gentle medieval music]

[women laugh]

[men laugh]

[gentle medieval music]

- Ow!

[soft wooden flute music]

[Chad chuckles]

Chad, not in front of them all.

- What's the matter? Won't she kiss you?

- Father.
- That's bad.

Maybe I oughta change my
mind about the wedding.

Don't want my daughter marrying a man

she don't care for enough to kiss.

- But they're all looking at us.

- Ashamed of him, are ya? That's worse.

Better call the whole thing off.

- Can't. What about all
my work on our new house?

It's no use to me without Elsa.

A man can't keep warm
all winter by himself.

- Silly.

- You're the silly one.

Better kiss him, show you mean it.

[men chatter indistinctly]

- The knights.

- I'll go and k*ll us a sheep for dinner.

- Here they come again.

What misery will they cause this time?

- Will they never stop
these horrible att*cks?

- If we could only fight them somehow.

[suspenseful music]

- Ah, the dogs are having
themselves a feast.

[slow somber orchestral music]

This is better than the castle.

[slow somber orchestral music]

[dramatic music]

You, come here.

No, the wench.

I won't hurt you. I just
want to talk to you.

[dramatic music]

[Chad grunts]

[father yells]

[Elsa screams]

Thanks. I got a fat sheep.

Table all laid out for us,
eh? They're learning manners.

Here, why don't you go and k*ll yourself

a couple more lambs.

- Nah, let's go back to the castle.

[soft sorrowful music]

- Elsa.

- Oh, Chad. [cries]

[solemn music]

- Elsa, come.

We'll wait a week before we get married.

And when we have a boy, we'll
name him after your father.

- I don't want a child. I
don't want to be married.

- Now, we'll talk about it tomorrow.

- No, Chad, I mean it.

The knights from the castle,
they can come back any time.

They can do anything they want to us,

k*ll anyone they like,
and take anything we have.

- But it's always been that way,

but it doesn't stop people getting married

and having children.

- Like sheep bearing more
lambs for the slaughter?

But I don't want to bring
children into a world

full of sudden v*olence and
death and then tell them

that they're helpless just
because it's been that way.

- Perhaps the v*olence can be stopped.

Perhaps we can find someone
strong enough to protect us.

- Protect shepherds against knights?

- I've heard of a king in
the south called Arthur,

who believes in justice for all men,

regardless of birth or rank.

Elsa, I'll go to him.

Surely our cause is good
enough for us to seek his help.

- Where is this King Arthur?

- At a place called Camelot.

[triumphant music]

- Come forward and state your business.

- Sir, I have a plea to
make before King Arthur.

- Oh? Well.

All right, let him pass.

- Thank you.

- My lord, Arthur, it is preposterous.

At a time like this, to expect
us to worry about shepherds.

Mahouse and his allies thr*aten us.

We are faced with a full-scale w*r

and this, this, this, this
herder of sheep asks us

to concern ourselves about
some distant village brawl.

- Those knights k*lled a man,
terrorized women and children,

plundered and slaughtered as they chose.

You call that a brawl?

- The shepherd has picked a bad moment.

More important things concern us,

a possible w*r, Sir Lancelot.

- Innocent people are
being repeatedly att*cked

for no cause.

Doesn't that concern us?

- But as Sir Kay says,

it does seem out of place
at this particular moment.

- If some gentle lady were in peril,

or one of our high-born allies.

- Lord Arthur, may I point
out that the humbler a man is,

the more urgent his
grievance is likely to be.

- Quite true.

But we still have to face
this thr*at of warfare.

At a time like this, we
need every man we have.

We can't divert our strength now.

- Not even for shepherds.

- My lord, you speak of strength.

There is strength in shepherds, too.

- What do you want to do?
Make knights out of shepherds?

- No, but we can make
foot soldiers out of them

to back up our knights in battle.

- We can't undertake
to defend every pig sty

and sheep walk in the land.

- No, but we can try to
give people the courage

to defend themselves.

- And we can balance
the numbers against us

by widening our support
amongst the ordinary people

of Britain.

- Who among us will champion
the shepherds' cause?

- In these grave times, sire,
my place is at your side.

[men verbalize agreement]

- That's how I feel.

- I agree.

- My lord, Arthur, I shall
be proud to be chosen

to right any wrongs
done to these shepherds.

- Thank you, Sir Lancelot.

Proceed at once to this
shepherd's village.

[triumphant music]

- Not far now, sir.

[somber music]

That's where they come from.

They ride up whenever they feel like it

and take whatever they like.

Every settlement for miles around

has been raided many times.

- I'll go to the castle
first and speak to Sir Mador.

- Why, what do you think
he's gonna do? Say sorry?

- I must hear his side of the story.

Maybe he doesn't know what his men do.

Perhaps he's willing
to punish them himself.

- You're gonna ask him to
punish one of his own knights

for k*lling one of us?

- I'm going to ask him, yes.

- And that's the kind of help

I went all the way to Camelot for.

[somber music]

- According to the rules,
you will fight your way

to the swords and shields.

The winners will have the honor

of fighting you off together.

Ready? Go.

[men scuffle]

You're out, dead, both of you.

And dead men eat no dinner.

You two, work up an appetite.

[swords clang]

- What's your business, sir?

- I am Sir Lancelot.

I've come from Camelot
to speak with Sir Mador.

[somber music]

Move, Petroc, move.

It doesn't matter how strong your arms are

if you don't use your feet.

- Raise the portcullis.

[somber orchestral music]

[swords clang]

- Greetings, sir knight.

My porter tells me you come from Camelot.

- On a mission from Arthur,
king of all Britain.

- We are honored by your visit.

For how long may we have the
privilege of entertaining you?

- I do not seek shelter, but justice.

Some shepherds in these hills

have been molested by
knights from this castle.

One of them was k*lled
protecting his daughter.

- Continue your exercises.

We'll discuss your complaint
over a cup of wine.

You must understand my
position, Sir Lancelot.

These retainers of mine
are all knights bachelor,

men without attachments
except to my service.

- Which means you're
responsible for their actions.

- They are indispensable to me for defense

and to compete alongside
me in tournaments.

Between such occasions I have to keep them

in fighting trim.

- By raiding unarmed peasants?

- They go restless when
they're pent up in a castle.

I watch for the danger signals

and then give them time off
to ride out on their own.

- Do you give them permission
to rob and to k*ll?

- The need doesn't arise.

I have a good idea what they do.

But they're rough men, trained to k*ll.

They don't have our
background in chivalry.

- Chivalry?

We're talking about
mistreating innocent women,

murdering unarmed old men.

If you don't punish your
people for those crimes,

you're just as much to blame as they are.

- Apparently our views are too
far apart to be reconciled.

- You don't propose to
curb your people then?

- No.

Do you?

- Yes, Sir Mador, I do.

[soft dramatic music]

- Quick, here he comes.

[slow somber music]

[dramatic music]
[knights laugh]

You get his horse while we rescue him.

[Lancelot grunts]

[slow somber music]

[Lancelot groans]

- Now, stand there.
- Whoa there. Whoa there.

That's it.

[knights laugh]

[slow somber music]

- Well, I asked him.

- And this is his answer?

- Not his final one, I promise you.

Take me back to your village, eh?

[dramatic music]

[gentle orchestral music]

- Elsa!

[foreboding music]

Elsa, he's a friend.

It's Sir Lancelot from King Arthur.

He's been sent to help us.

Did you miss me?

- Yes, I missed you.

- Enough to change your mind?

- No, I haven't changed my mind.

- This is Elsa, whose father was k*lled.

Sir Lancelot.

Are the men still out with the sheep?

Oughtn't they to be home?

- They're coming now.

There was a wolf,

and they sent the boys
back for their bows.

- Good morrow.
- Hello there.

[dog barks]

- Looks like they had good hunting.

- You ought to talk to them now.

- All right.

- Is this all the great
king has sent to protect us?

Only one knight?

- King Arthur needs
all his men in Camelot.

But even if he'd sent a dozen of us,

what good would they be to you?

- The raiders come in small groups.

A dozen knights could fight 'em off.

- What about the next time?

Could a dozen knights
stay here permanently

to protect one village?

What about all the other
villages in Britain?

- Then it's like we said.
There is no protection.

Chad's journey was in vain.

- Not if I can teach you
to protect yourselves.

May I see that bow?

Hm.

That's a good, steady w*apon.

Might pierce armor at short enough range.

- We are not warriors, sir knight.

Most of us have never raised
a hand against our fellow men.

- If we fought them, they'd only k*ll us.

- Aye, Aidan d*ed
because he raised a stink

against one of them.

That shows what happens
when you try to resist.

- It's no use, Sir Lancelot.

The world is divided into men
who were born to ride horses

and fight, and the rest of
us, who are at their mercy.

- Chad doesn't think that, do you Chad?

Or he wouldn't have traveled
all the way to Camelot.

- I had hoped the king
would send some knights

to punish those murderers,
not just one man

to go to Sir Mador's castle and scold him.

- You saw Sir Mador? What did he say?

- He feels the same way as you do.

- The same way we do?

- You mean to say he's
going to stop his men

from raiding us?

- No, I mean he thinks there's
nothing to be done about it.

He, too, feels it's a law of nature

that some men should prey upon others.

- [Chad] Shall I tell
them what happened to you?

- I was assaulted and
thrown out of the castle.

- [Peasant] Hm. When are we going to eat?

The women are preparing the supper.

- You'll stop and have some
food with us, won't you, eh?

You had a long journey.

You see, sir knight, our
festive board is all prepared.

- Yes, thank you.
- Sit you down.

And let me pour you out a tankard of ale.

There.

- Thank you, but I'd like to ask you

more of a favor than all this.

You see, I don't believe it's
impossible to fight back,

but then, perhaps, that's because

I've never been a shepherd.

I don't know what it's like
to live the way you do.

- Of course you don't.

You were born for one kind of life,

and we were born for another.

- I'd like to live as
one of you for a while,

if you'll have me.

- Huh?

- I'll work, earn my keep,
do whatever I'm told.

- You want to look after sheep?

- Yes. You'll have to be patient with me.

- Chad, is this a madman
you found on the road?

- I don't know whether he's mad or not,

but I don't see how he can do us any harm.

[all laugh]

[pleasant uptempo music]

- How 'bout this one for shearing?

- No. No, not yet.

It's not only the length you
tell by, it's the feel of it.

Well, it's...

- Oh, I'll never learn.

- Well, you shouldn't say that.

You're really doing very well.

[hoof beats]

There's someone coming. It's one of them.

[foreboding music]
[sheep bleat]

- k*ll me a sheep, we need some mutton.

- Yes, sir knight, we'll
pick you out a special one

from the rest of the flock.

- And decide on a fair price.

- You expect me to pay for it?

- Or else be treated as a
thief. You have your choice.

- Be quiet, you fool.

- Why.

[suspenseful orchestral music]

[bold orchestral music]

[suspenseful orchestral music]

- As I see it, there is only
one weak point in our defense,

to the south.

To the north, the east, and the west,

we are protected by the hills.

We must barricade the south entrance.

- But they'll k*ll us all.

They'll wipe us out,
and all because of you.

- They'll do nothing unless you let them.

- Wherever they come from,

how can we fight Sir
Mador and all his knights?

- How? Weren't you
watching this afternoon?

We'll fight the way Sir Lancelot did.

- Right, with a few improvements.

Now listen, we haven't got much time left.

Let's not waste it arguing
about what's already done.

- Nothing to argue about. You saw to that.

It's fight or die now.

- It's fight.

[bold orchestral music]

[weapons clatter]

[bold orchestral music]

You're all excellent archers,

but in w*r you've got to
learn to sh**t as one man.

All right, draw your bows.

sh**t.
[bows click]

Good.

[bold dramatic music]

That's the idea.

Any more ready?

- Um, yes, there's two done there.

- Good, well just finish
what you're doing.

I think that's enough.

- Right.

- How are we for arrows?

- Plenty of shafts but we've
no more metal for arrowheads.

- Where's my shield and armor?

- I have it. I have all your things.

- Good, well fetch them. Melt
down as much as you can use.

- But sir knight, you
can't fight without armor.

- We all fight the same way in this army.

[birds chirp]

[foreboding music]

Draw your bows.

sh**t!

[arrows swoosh]

Again!

[deep suspenseful music]

[swords clang]

Draw!

[adventurous orchestral music]

Hold your fire.

Take the women out of
here. Take the arrows.

Move that table over there.

Come on, jump to it! Move!

Come on! Come on now, move into formation.

Only don't fire this time.

Wait until I give the word to break,

then break and let them through.

Right, here they come.

Hold it!

Break!

[dramatic music]

[weapons clash]
[men chatter]

[men yell]

[dramatic orchestral music]

- I yield.

What terms?

- Firstly, you'll pledge
that none of the men

of your castle will ever molest
defenseless people again.

- Defenseless? Who's defenseless?

- I'm sorry. I'll be more precise.

You'll pledge that the men of your castle

will neither rob nor harm anyone anywhere.

- I so pledge.

I think we've lost our
taste for it, anyway.

- Secondly, you will
accompany me to Camelot,

there to swear fealty to King
Arthur as overlord of Britain.

- Agreed.

- Elsa.

This orphaned girl has no dowry.

I think it's only right

that you should provide her with one.

I think she'll be needing it soon.

[triumphant music]

- Why, welcome home, Lancelot.

- Thank you, Merlin. What's
the crystal ball for?

Apart from seeing your visitors
without turning 'round?

- With it I see events
which help me to prophesy.

Oh, laugh if you will, but
this helps me to concentrate.

And nine-tenths of
prophesying is concentration.

Why, I even knew before you came home

that you had taught our shepherd friends

how to fight and defend themselves.

- Hm, remarkable.

And did your crystal ball also tell you

that I learnt more than I taught?

That for the first time in my life

I experienced the strength
of the common people?

And I realized that without
them we cannot survive?

- Wait a minute.

Why, that's exactly what it says here.

[pleasant orchestral music]

[lighthearted music]

♪ Now listen to my story ♪

♪ Yes, listen while I sing ♪

♪ Of days of old in England ♪

♪ When Arthur was the king ♪

♪ And Merlin, the magician ♪

♪ And Guinevere, the queen ♪

♪ And Lancelot, the bravest knight ♪

♪ The world has ever seen ♪

♪ In days of old ♪

♪ When knights were bold ♪

♪ The story's told ♪

♪ Of Lancelot ♪

♪ In days of old ♪

♪ When knights were bold ♪

♪ The story's told ♪

♪ Of Lancelot ♪

[bright ambient music]
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