01x05 - Weston Family

[bunniefuu]

Tonight on "supernanny"...

Jo meets the westons.

Hello.

[ Sternly ] andrew, sit here.

Their terrorizing tot puts up a fight...

[ Crying ]

...when jo lays down the law.

Ask me nicely -- "I'd like my drink warmed up, please."

[ Screaming ] ...warm it up!!

Hi, jo!

And later, the westons check n with an all-new update.

Andrea: before jo came, it was a struggle.

Andrew would fight and fight and fight.

♪ Be good, be good, be good, be good, be good ♪

♪ Be good, be good, be good, be good ♪

♪ Johnny

♪ Be good, be good, be good, be good, be good ♪

♪ Be good, be good, be good, be good ♪

♪ Johnny

♪ Johnny

Let's have a look.

Hi, I'm fred.

Hi, I'm andrea.

And we're the westons.

We have two children --

Andrew, who's , and sean, who's months.

I'm a schoolteacher.

Fred sells insurance for a living.

Andrea and I met at church.

It was "like" at first sight -- definitely like.

[ Chuckles ]

Life without kids was being invited to dinners

With no children.

Going out on the weekends --

Just a different lifestyle than it is now.

A life with kids can be very difficult sometimes.

[ Crying ]

Supernanny, we need your help.

Our son andrew -- he's got some issues.

Don't hit! [ Crying ]

It's painful for a mother

To have a child that has the "reputation."

Like, when we go play with friends, who gets hurt?

He always hurts the other kid.

Don't build that!

Amy: andrew!

Don't build that. [ Crying ]

What is he doing?

Fred: andrew does get a little rough with his brother.

Andrea: all the time, he tortures his brother.

He just doesn't care.

I put him on time-out. He marches right back out.

"Yougo get in yourroom"

Andrew's behavior has to stop.

I get messages saying, "call your day care.

Your kid is getting kicked out of day care."

I would love to find a preschool that can handle him,

But I've called everywhere.

Poo-poo head.

Oh, dear.

Andrew at dinnertime -- always an experience.

[ Crying ]

He will refuse to eat dinner every night.

[ Crying ] I don't want it.

He has trouble sleeping.

Andrew seems to want to come out of his bed

At least four or five times a night.

So, please, come to our house, supernanny,

And help us out 'cause we need you.

I think they definitely do need me.

I'm on my way.

[ Knock on door ]

Hello.

Nice to meet you. I'm jo frost.

Andrea.

Hello, andrew.

Today I met the weston family.

Hi, jo. I'm fred. Nice to meet you.

They were very warm and very inviting.

For somebody who has a lot of knowledge,

I would think she seemed a little young.

She's very friendly and young at heart -- I can tell.

I'm gonna watch and observe you today.

I know you've got family issues that need to be addressed,

But just go ahead as if I weren't here,

And I'll ask you some questions later.

Okay.

Who is this little one?

This is baby sean.

Hello.

Say hi, baby sean.

When I first meet a family, I go in,

And I take mental notes,

And I observe the dynamics of their family.

My observation began

Watching mom and the boys play in the backyard.

Andrea: okay, andrew, you're done.

Andrew, you're done washing now, so turn off the water.

That's it. It's still early for water.

You're done. Turn off the water.

Okay, I'm turning it off 'cause you don't want to listen.

He's gonna go into his mode.

Ahh!

[ Shouting indistinctly ]

He was throwing chairs and knocking things over

Just because mom turned the water off.

Excuse me. Unh-unh.

No. No. Stop. Stop.

Stop...and think.

Andrew, I'm not chasing after you.

You come here. I want to talk to you now.

Andrew, if I have to walk over there,

You're gonna be in your room on a long time-out.

[ Whining ] no!

Come here now.

Don't you talk that way to me. That is very mean.

Andrew's temperament needs to be put in check,

And mom's letting him get away with it completely.

[ Doorbell rings, door opens ]

Hello. Come on in.

Andrew had a little friend round to play,

And it gave me a really good opportunity

To watch him with other children around.

"A."

Ooh, he colored on the table.

They were drawing together and playing.

Anaya colored on the table.

No, I didn't.

It started off okay,

But it very quickly led

To his little friend running off crying to her parents.

Hey!

Ahh!

[ Crying ]

Dad: you're fine. Hey.

Ah! Ah! Ah!

[ Crying resumes ]

[ Crying ] mommy!

Jo: andrew's behavior got worse,

And he started to intimidate this poor little girl.

Don't build that.

Don't -- don't --

Don't build that!

Andrew!

Don't build that. [ Crying ]

Don't build that.

Andrew, hey, we're gonna play together.

What happened there?

She was trying to build, and he didn't want her to build,

And he grabbed her, like, really close to him.

Andrew grabbed this little girl's face,

And he started pulling at her, and she was so scared.

And it is this kind of behavior that needs to stop.

Missed.

Minutes later, he was acting up again.

Andrew, you go to your room. That's not nice.

Finally, mom steps in,

And she takes andrew for time-out into his bedroom.

What a place. It's where he sleeps and plays.

I don't think it's a good idea

To place any child in their bedroom for discipline.

Three minutes -- I'll be back.

You think about it, and I'll come back and get you.

Andrew: no.

Mo-o-o-m!

Andrew, I'm not gonna --

No, I'm not gonna let go of the door till you sit down.

When you're sitting down, I'll let go of the door.

Jo: so, how long could you be standing outside here?

Half an hour.

Holding that door. On and off.

[ Banging and crying ]

Are you sitting down?

Okay, I'll open it. Are you sitting down?

I'm sorry. You're not allowed to throw things.

You're on time-out.

I'll leave the door open, but don't come out.

[ Crying continues ]

Do you want me to get dad? Then you stay in here.

Uh! Do not step out.

[ Crying ]

Jo: mom has got this time-out completely wrong.

This is crazy.

I'm -- I am gonna do step number two with you

'Cause you're not listening.

What's step number two, andrea?

You hold them for four minutes.

He's now being kissed and cuddled

At the same time he's meant to be on discipline.

It's no wonder why andrew's behaving the way he is.

Then you can stay in here.

[ Crying ]

[ Crying ] no!

Jo: so, mom has totally lost control of the discipline here.

He's got too much control,

And poor little andrew doesn't even know what to do with it.

Hey, heart-attack boy, can you get up?

It's no wonder why andrew gets away with blue m*rder.

Coming up on "supernanny"...

Andrew turns bedtime into a nightmare...

Get back in bed.

Back to bed.

Excuse me.

What?

...and the westons get an earful from jo...

Behavior of andrew concerns me.

Go away, poo-poo.

Mom!

...when "supernanny" returns.

♪ Be good, be good

Fred: have a bite.

You haven't touched your hot dog yet.

You got to eat your hot dog, andrew.

Andrew is very picky about what he eats.

He's very fussy about the quantity that he eats.

Andrew, stop licking it and eat it.

Andrea: if he's not being served his favorite meals,

He will just refuse to eat his dinner.

We're gonna get down, and you're gonna be stuck here.

[ Banging ]

Well, are we done, dad? We're done.

Get up there and eat. Andrew, don't get down.

Get back in your chair now.

[ Ticking ]

The frustrating part is the clock is ticking,

And things aren't getting done...

Finish eating. You're almost done. Eat.

...because I'm having a food w*r with my child every night.

Andrew, sit back down and eat.

Andrew.

Fred: hey.

Back in your seat.

I'm getting tired, andrew. Come on.

[ Water running ]

Boom.

Half an hour of messing around, he finally finished the hot dog.

Finally.

Hey, andrew, it's bedtime.

I'm warning you -- five minutes to go, andrew.

[ Crying ]

Mom has just given andrew a -minute warning for bedtime,

And she's also got to put sean down, as well.

At the moment, it's very, very hyper.

The two little boys have got to go to bed.

I'll be very surprised if they go down straightaway.

Yes, you do.

This is a great bed.

You're tired. You got to go to sleep, buddy.

[ Chuckles ]

I don't think he's going to bed.

Andrew, where did you go?

Andrew, get back in bed.

You're thirsty?

You have your water problem.

You're not gonna use that excuse again tonight.

Do you understand?

Good night, seany. I love you.

Night-night.

[ Stifled laughter ]

He's just told me to go home.

Back in the bed now.

That's the second time,

So how many more times will that happen, or is that it now?

He'll manipulate throughout the night.

Excuse me. Back to bed.

You get your hug and your kiss, and that's it.

I've already given you hugs and kisses.

What andrew does is so common.

He's got, like, excuses

So that he doesn't have to go to bed and sleep.

You can, too, see. Go.

You can see, andrew.

How many times now?

Three.three.

What?

Okay, I'll turn on a bathroom light.

[ Crying ]

You're upsetting your brother.

Andrew, no. Mommy's getting exhausted.

Go to sleep. [ Groans ]

Jo: and both children are having trouble sleeping.

[ Sarcastically ] I wonder why.

Andrea: andrew has played his bedtime games

Up till : at night.

What do you need? What?

Jo: andrew was in and out of the bedroom like a yo-yo.

Anything he wanted, mom gave him,

And nobody is gonna get to sleep tonight.

I'm getting... Tired and upset.

You need to stay in your bed. Go.

I will. Get in bed.

Mom and dad are fully aware of how andrew manipulates them.

My question to them is,

Why have they allowed it to go on for so long?

I'm really looking forward

To going in and getting that ball rolling.

When I first meet a family, I observe their family life

And the dynamics between parents and their children,

And I take mental notes throughout the day

Of what I feel is not working.

And, at the end of the evening,

I sit down, and I talk to the parents.

Andrea and fred, let's go into the other room

And discuss what I have observed.

Jo is observing the good parts of us,

But she's mostly looking for the bad parts of us.

And that's a little unnerving.

I hope that jo comes up with a plan as soon as possible

To help our family and improve our lives.

Andrea and fred...

What energy.

What energy your family has.

I see two educated parents.

You guys know so much about your children.

We agree with you. [ Both chuckle ]

Good.

So what I'd like to say to the pair of you is...

Where did the control start to slip?

You know that andrew manipulates you.

You know that he wangles his little finger

And gets his own way when he wants to,

But the question is,

Do you know why the pair of you allow that to happen?

I think just having a child this challenging, you know?

He's, uh, he's taken the reins in some ways,

And we've tried to take back in control,

And we'll try something for a while,

And it doesn't work.

But when you get yourself into a cycle

Where bad habits are breeding

And your children are coming up to you and challenging you,

Then that cycle needs to be broke.

Those bad habits need to change.

Behavior --

Behavior of andrew concerns me.

When he plays with other children,

He's very overpowering, he's very controlling,

And he's very aggressive --

To throw toys at other children,

To shout at them.

Andrew needs to be taught by you guys.

He needs to be taught how to play.

And -- and I feel, at years old,

He's quite capable of being able to play with his friends,

But he won't know how to do that unless you teach him.

[ Voice breaking ] you know,

You don't want to see your kid struggle, you know?

You don't want him to be the bully, or, you know?

You want to do what you need to do as a parent

So your kid will be successful.

But you are giving your child love,

And you are giving your child praise and encouragement,

But you need to balance that.

And that's where -- that's where we fail.

I don't think it's about failing.

And I don't want you to sit here as parents

And feel like failures,

Because no parent's perfect -- no parent.

After speaking to the pair of you,

I can't wait to work with you guys

And start implementing techniques

And to change this for the better.

Are you guys -- you guys committed and willing

To give it a go?

Mm-hmm. Absolutely.

Definitely. For sure.

Yeah.

It's a very tough lesson for a parent to retrain themselves.

Just like on your job,

If you've done something the same way for years,

It's definitely difficult to stop doing that pattern.

Coming up on "supernanny"...

Jo teaches andrea and fred how to rein andrew in.

[ Sternly ] andrew, go and sit back down here.

But andrew rebels against the new rules...

[ Screaming ] ...warm it up!!

...when "supernanny" returns.

♪ Johnny

Hello.

Andrea: say hi.

Kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss.

I've got something here I want to show you both.

Hey, andrew, look over here. She's got something for us.

When I observe a family,

The first thing I do is give them a household routine,

The weston family -- they didn't have a consistent schedule.

The priority is that the children are put

Into a consistent routine,

So at : to :, sean and andrew eat dinner,

And then bedtime at :.

Jo gave us a schedule to keep us on track,

As far as eating, going to bed.

I think that's good.

With all the rest of the techniques

That we're gonna implement,

The discipline is going to be under control.

The chaoticness, the inconsistency

Is going to vanish, okay?

Yeah. It's great.

We will implement this, and we will do it.

When it comes to behavior,

The first thing that I want to address

Is andrew's aggression towards other children,

And I've set up the naughty-spot technique

So that when he misbehaves, that's where he will go.

[ Sean coughs, cries ]

No. No, no, no. Don't. Andrew.

Andrew, do not do that to sean.

Be nice, please, around your brother.

He's only a baby.

He's not. You'rea big boy.

Yes, you're a big boy, and sean's a baby.

Andrew just continued to be aggressive towards baby sean.

No. No. Andrew, gentle, love.

No, love.

When andrew's behaving in a way that is not acceptable,

I'd like you to give him a warning first with eye contact

And coming down to his level.

Are you listening? Yeah.

What you're doing by kicking baby sean is not okay.

I don't want you kicking baby sean. Okay.

Jo: I want you to give him a warning,

But you must change your tone of voice

So that he recognizes authority.

If he does not listen to you,

I would like you to place him in --

Whatever room you're in,

I would like you to place him by the wall

And tell him to sit there and to stay there.

You're not listening.

So you're gonna go over to the wall.

Let him realize you're being serious.

Andrew: go away, poo-poo.

You will sit here... Go away, poo-poo.

And you're gonna think about not kicking your brother.

Well, I don't want you to be --

Come over here in case he gets up again, which he is now.

I'm gonna show you something, okay?

[ Sternly ] andrew, go and sit back down here...

Until mommy tells you you can get up.

Jo's voice caused andrew to be scared enough

To go back to that spot.

My question to jo is,

Tell me how to stop that child

From playing games for the first minutes

With the naughty spot.

But this is where the consistency comes in.

You must go back and follow through

With the same that you did before.

Okay, so now you go back because he's still --

For what he's doing, yes.

[ Sternly ] andrew...

That behavior is not acceptable.

You sit here, and you think about not...

Poo-poo.

...hitting your brother.

Poo-poo.

But I guarantee you, every time you're consistent

And you follow it through,

He gets the same message.

After his four minutes,

I want you to say to him, "now you behave yourself,

And I'd like you to apologize."

Okay, gotcha.

Andrew, the reason why you were placed on the floor

Is you were hitting your brother and kicking him.

You need to behave or you'll be back on the floor again.

You need to hug your brother and say sorry

Because you were hurting your brother.

He has to say sorry nicely.

Say sorry. [ Smooches ] sorry.

When I observed andrew playing with his friends,

He was very overpowering and controlling,

So, to help mom and dad,

I set up the shared-play technique

So they could teach andrew how to play nicely with his friends.

Andrew, when she gets done with something,

Then you can ask for it.

When you get done with something,

You can give it to her so she can cut something.

You teach your child how to recognize

To play with other children so that they take turns.

You ask each other nicely,

Which is, "please, can I have the knife, andrew?"

Andrew, say, "molly, please, can I have the fork?"

Did you hear how to ask nicely, andrew?

How do you say it?

Good.

Mom, what we're gonna do is we're gonna move away now,

And we're gonna take this to the next level.

Once andrew knows what's expected of him,

Mom can then allow herself to step back and relax.

Look how beautifully he's playing now.

I want you to be able to have faith in knowing

You can do that with any child you leave andrew with.

Coming up on "supernanny"...

Andrew throws a fit...

And the westons struggle to keep him in bed.

Remember the technique. "It's time for bed, darling."

When "supernanny" returns.

♪ Be good, be good

[ Coughs ]

I'm getting to you, little guy.

I'm getting to you.

Jo: whilst mom was feeding baby sean,

Andrew wanted his chocolate milk warmed up,

And he threw a massive tantrum over it.

[ Crying ]

[ Speaking indistinctly ]

I can't even understand you, you're crying so much.

When you're done crying, you ask me what you want nicely.

What do you want, andrew?

[ Crying ]

Say to him, "I don't understand you.

Talk to me properly so that I can understand you."

I don't understand you, andrew.

You want your drink warmed up.

"Ask me nicely -- 'i'd like my drink warmed up, please.'"

Say it -- "I want my drink warm up."

[ Screaming ] ...warm it up!!

Ignore it, ignore it.

Jo: I want to teach andrea

How to not give in to andrew's tantrums.

Fred: what's going on?

It's all right. Come in, fred.

Fred was in shock. He looked very pale.

You okay?

[ Crying continues ]

You seem -- is it the crying?

I've never seen him act in this manner before.

[ Thuds ]

You don't hit me, andrew. I don't like that.

Andrea started to catch on very quickly,

And when he hit her, she took him straight to the naughty spot.

You don't hit people.

You sit there, and you think about it.

Andrea: it upset me as a parent

To see my child become that emotionally upset

Where he was just almost begging to be picked up and held.

I want you to listen to what I'm saying

Because I've been in many, many houses

Where parents have thought, "oh, my god.

"It feels like it's all gone mayhem.

It feels like it's getting worse."

The only thing that just got worse

Was that andrew just realized

That his mom and dad are now in control

Of the discipline.

You don't hit me.

All's I wanted you to do

Was say, "mommy, can you warm up my chocolate milk?"

In a nice, nice way.

Jo: don't pick him up. He's not a baby.

Don't pick him up. Don't pacify him in that way.

Honestly, you are not -- you are not being cruel.

You're just setting boundaries.

He will thank you for it later.

Trust me on this. He will.

[ Whimpering ]

Okay?

Fred: anytime somebody comes in your house

And starts to give you directions, it's hard.

It's hard to accept change. It's hard to accept criticism.

Can I have that spoon right there, andrew?

Tonight at dinner, I want to put a stop

To andrew's sitting at the table and not eating a thing.

Andrew, you need to sit down,

And you need to eat your chicken.

[ Crying ] ew.

Jo: I taught andrea to use a method

Where she would give andrew lots of praise and encouragement

For when he was eating at the table.

Do you know what you're wasting? All your free time tonight.

Use it in a positive way.

"Come on, four more. Then we can go on and play."

Andrew, eat your four bites.no.

Pick up your first one. Go. Let's count.

You still have to finish your dinner.

Show mommy one. Ready-y-y...

Good boy. That's one.

Can you show me one? Use your finger -- one.

Good boy. That's it.

Every time andrew ate a spoonful,

Andrea would praise him and give him more encouragement

To take the next spoonful.

Now, mommy, ask for four in this --

Four -- show me four, andrew.

[ High-pitched voice ] keep it light. Encouragement.

Four, andrew, four!

Mommy, clap because he's had four and listened!

Well-done!

Andrew ate his dinner, and he was so proud of himself.

It's all very well that you give your child discipline,

But, at the same time, you need to balance

By giving them lots of praise and encouragement, too.

You did a really good job. I'm proud of you.

No way are sean and andrew

Ever going to get the sleep they need

If they continue to share the same room,

So today we put baby sean into his own room,

And gave andrew his bedroom back.

Look at that. You're such a big helper.

It's the first step for the boys

To get the sleep that they properly need.

What I want to discuss with the pair of you

Is the stay-in-bed technique.

So, this is how it goes --

You tuck him into bed, kiss and cuddles, good night.

He comes out, you say, "it's bedtime, darling."

You tuck him back in, you give him a kiss.

The third time he comes out, you ignore,

And you just take him straight into his bed

And put the covers over him and walk out.

Okay?

And if he comes out the fourth time

And the fifth time,

You repeat the third action,

Which is to ignore him and put him back into his bed.

Do you think sean's doing well in his room?

Yes. I love to hear that.

This way.

Jo: there needs to be elimination process

Where andrew can have a little bit of water,

That the light's left on, and the door left ajar

So that andrew simply can't keep coming out

For loads of excuses all the time.

Andrew had his little baby hamster

That was, um, nocturnal and decided to do some exercise,

And he came out to tell his mom.

Good night. Back in bed.

Remember the technique.

Remember to tell him, "it's time for bed, darling."

Go. Get in bed.

Keep it nice. "It's time for bed, darling."

It's time for bed. Good night.

This is scary.

This is scary.

Can he bite? Can this bite?

Andrew walked out of his room times

Within in a -minute period instead of times.

It was very peaceful in the weston household,

And anybody could tell you that it's never like that.

[ Crickets chirping ]

Jo: I'm going to leave now.

What was that -- "ooh"?

Don't leave us.

Now that I've taught andrea and fred the techniques,

I'm gonna go away for a couple of days

Because it's really important

That they grasp how to do it themselves.

And, remember, the pair of you,

It's about the finer details in the techniques.

Go through from "a," "b," and "c."

Andrea...

Be strong, keep positive.

Jo's making a big difference in our house.

Fred...take care.

Thank you.

Andrea: it may take a person like her to turn things around.

Take care. Bye-bye.

Jo: no doubt that andrea and fred are gonna be put to the test,

And, whilst they're doing it, I'm gonna be watching them.

Coming up on "supernanny"...

The westons take andrew on without jo's supervision.

I told you not to hit your brother.

But andrew won't go down without a fight.

Stay on the naughty spot.

Stay on the naughty spot!

When "supernanny" returns.

♪ Be good, be good

Andrea.

The hard part won't be for andrew, it'll be for us.

Jo: no doubt that andrea and fred are gonna be put to the test,

But I just hope that they really stick to it %.

And, whilst they're doing it, I'm gonna be watching them.

Okay, it's lunchtime.

Let's see if mom can get andrew to eat.

Sit up. There you go.

Ready? Go. Count out loud -- four!

They're counting his bites. That's great.

Seany, it's four!

Andrew, you can do i. You can do it.

I know! Sean, you can do it!

He's starting to play up at the table.

Aw, andrew. No.

You don't do that. I'm giving you a warning.

If you hit sean again,

You're gonna go on time-out - the naughty spot.

Oh, here we go.

Excuse me.

Andrew, focus on your eatin.

Andrew, I'm trying to feed sean.

Okay, you know what? No.

I told you not to hit your brother.

Now you're on the spot.

That's it, mom.

He's not listening -- on the naughty spot.

[ Crying ]

You tell me when you're ready

To get back up here and eat your dinner. I'm ready.

Don't ask him -- tell him how long he's got to stay there for.

Uh-oh. Look at me!

There he goes, doing what he wants.

He thinks the naughty spot's a game.

You are on the naughty spot.

[ Crying ]

I did that!

Andrew, are you going to sit at the table

And finish your dinner now?

Yeah! Let's go.

What's this? No apology?

Hey, fred, let's play drums with sean.

Thumbs-up, mom and dad.

They're trying to get andrew to play with baby sean.

Fantastic.

Andrew, your turn. Let's go when andrew goe.

I want your feet down here.

Andrew, over her. Excuse me.

Next time I tell you, you go on the naughty spot.

Ready? Clap.

Oh, here we go.

Andrew's doing exactly what he wants.

Hey, fred, can you play with sea?

Cat and mouse.

[ Sternly ] I told you not to mess up the gam,

And you're not listenin.

You're on the naughty spo.

[ Crying ]

A lot of kids, as they grow up, they naturally can calm down,

But I don't think that will ever be the case with andrew.

There's just been a constant struggle in behavior

That's just worn me down.

Andrew, back on the naughty spot now.

You don't want it to be a w*r every day.

Stay on the naughty spot! Do you understand?

Stay on the naughty spo!

Do you understand? Do you understand?!

Andrew's being aggressive. He's back in control.

It's been a tough road.

I think he'll give jo a run for her technique.

Stay on the spot.

[ Crying ]

We need to get our act together

So that sean doesn't become the same way.

Oh, we're back to square one.

You guys are missing the small details.

I got to get back there.

No, baby poo-poo.

Andrea: one of the questions I would ask jo

Is just how to handle andrew on his naughty spot.

You know what?

Your free time is ticking away.

How much to correct and how much not to correct

And what to stay focused on.

Coming up on "supernanny"...

Jo returns to set the westons straight...

You leave room for the technique to collapse.

...and give andrea and fred another chance

To get things right...

You want playtime, right? Let's finish eating.

Hi, jo!

And then, the family checks n with an all-new update.

Jo!

Andrea: before joe came, it was a struggle.

Andrew would fight and fight and fight.

...when "supernanny" returns.

♪ Be good, be good

[ Doorbell rings ]

Hi. How are you?

Good to see you. Are you well?

I love the part where I walk in with the dvd

Because I like the parents

To clearly see the mistakes they've made

So that we can fix it.

Yeah, I've got some footage I'd like you guys to see.

Okay, guys, take a look.

Now you're on the spo.

No, I didn't hit my brother. Yes, you did.

Stay on the spot.

Do you know why you're on the naughty spot? Why?

Because your behavior is naughty.

What behavior?

That whole episode is about the details,

And the details are is that when you give a warning,

You must come down to andrew's level

And give him that eye contact.

You see here how much taller you are.

We don't want to make children

Feel scared of you or intimidated.

You're a poo-poo head.

Sit now.

Stay on the naughty spot. Do you understand?

Stay on the naughty spo!

Do you understand? Do you understand?!

Now, there, I would have said, "and stop that.

Stop that cheek."

And then I would have walked away.

If he mimics everything that you say

Once you've got him on the naughty spot,

You say to him, "stop that smart-mouthing now.

It's not acceptable, and I do not like that behavior."

And when you walk away,

You then ignore the smart-mouth talk that he gives you --

If he's saying "poo-poo head" or whatever he's saying --

Because that's a reason for andrew to try

And engage you back to get his attention

Through verbally communicating with you in that way.

Yeah!

I did that!

Andrew, are you going to st at the table

And finish your dinner now?

Yeah! Let's go.

Like we start the naughty-spot technique,

We must end it as well, okay?

So we've got a start and a finish.

So, when he's done his time,

Make sure that when you then relieve him

From the naughty spot that you say, "up you get now,

And I want you to apologize for what you just did,"

And then hugs and kisses afterwards.

All of the smaller details

Is what makes the naughty-spot technique work.

I want you guys to carry on as normal,

And what we're gonna do is we're gonna work on that, andrea,

And anything else that I see

That needs enforcing and re-going over.

All right? Great.

Since becoming a parent, I think I've used my children's behavior

As an excuse for a lack of good parenting technique.

It didn't click until somebody could come in

From the outside

And say, "this is what you need to work on."

It's gonna get better. I've got to find a way.

I've got to find a way to make it work.

And I've tried.

I do believe that you can do it, but you know what?

You need to believe.

Yeah, I'm excited about it -- finally succeeding --

'Cause I love that little boy,

And I want him to grow up to be a successful human being

That is happy, you know?

He's very happy in life,

But he's not perfectly happy

If he doesn't get along with his friends

And he's being mr. Boss.

So, I just want to see him slowly change over time.

With andrea, she's recognizing a lot of things about herself

That she needs to change for the better

So that she's a lot calmer

So that she can address her children in that same manner.

Fred: come on over here, andrew.

There you go.

You want playtime, right? Let's finish eating.

Jo: use it in a positive way. Show mommy one.

Andrea: she said, "be positive."

Jo's big on rewarding with words,

And I've picked up on that since working with her.

Put one in your mouth. Hold up one finger. One!

Good job, andrew!

Jo: good boy. That's it.

Dinner has been quicker.

I've had to be more of an energetic cheerleader,

But it seems to have paid off.

Andrea: andrew, share with your brother.

That's your brother's toy I bought for him.

Can you show him how to do it?

Games like this are very good.

You're playing a game where they can both be involved,

And at the same time, both children are learning

To share your attention to stop sibling rivalry.

Yeah.

Fred: andrew's an aggressive kid.

It's gonna take every ounce of discipline

To get him to realize that he's not the center of the world

And that other kids want to do other things.

Be careful! It's steep!

Andrea: I think slowly, andrew will learn

How to interact with his friends in a better manner.

[ Shouts ]

When jo came to my home, I was really focused on andrew,

But the reality was

The challenge was with the mother and the father.

Do you know why you're here?

You didn't listen to daddy, did you?

Next time, you listen to daddy, okay?

You can get up.

Jo: andrew's changing,

And it's because mom and dad are embracing

The small details in the technique,

And it's working for them.

Time for bed. Let me get your water.

Time for bed.

Do you want your special pillows tonight?

We once had a little boy called andrew

Who used to get up endlessly over nighttime

When he was put to bed.

This evening, mom said, "quick. Come here."

[ Andrew snoring ]

Andrea: what jo taught me the most

Is that fear can stop anyone.

It's true.

I'm trying to look at that as there's no such thing as failure

As long as you are positive and you stick to it.

Come on.

Yay!

[ Squeals ]

Andrew, jo-jo's going now. Can I have a hug?

[ Smooches ]

Bye-bye.

Andrea, take care.

Fred.

Thank you very much for all your help.

You're more than welcome.

Bye-bye, seany.

Bye.

Jo: it's hard to leave the weston family.

They are a family who clearly love their children very much.

Take care. Keep it up. Bye.

Fred: thank you. Bye-bye.

Bye, andrew.

Bye, jo.

Jo: I feel really proud of andrea and fred.

They've made really positive changes in their family,

And that can only be a good thing.

Bye, jo. Take care. Bye-bye.

Hi, jo! Thanks for checking in with us.

Thanks, jo. I just wanted to say we're doing great.

Jo? Jo! She's not talking to me.

Fred: I think the whole process of what we went through with jo

Has made our lives much easier.

We still have the schedule. It's up on our kitchen wall.

And it's been working great for us.

Fred: andrew, I think, likes it, because he has

A schedule that he knows he's going to be following,

And his parents are gonna follow that schedule.

Andrea: andrew's mellowed out.

Things have just gotten a lot calmer.

Fred: I think the naughty spot has been a godsend for andrea

Because she has a method to use of disciplining andrew.

Do you want to do what mommy's asking you to do?

Okay, then you can go onto your naughty spot.

That's been very helpful

Because it helps her be consistent in discipline.

I'm starting now. You have four minutes.

I know that andrew will give in to the spot

Because he knows that there's no other discipline in the house.

I accept your apology.

Before jo came, it was a struggle.

Andrew would fight and fight and fight.

Andrew knows what to expect.

He knows his bedtime is :. It's non-negotiable.

Hi, jo. Now we're in andrew's room.

And we've redecorated since you left, moved things around.

It's been wonderful that andrew puts himself to bed.

You have no idea how much that means to us as a couple.

Andrew has his own space to play,

His own toys, his own room.

Sean has his own space, his own toys, his own room.

Swing! All right!

Sean-sean, ball to mama!

I can honestly say that everything she taught us works

And that we've had success with it.

Fred: the good thing is we're sticking with the methods

And the techniques that she's taught us.

It's working pretty well.

I miss you. I love you.

Thanks for coming. We hope you come back again.

Sit quietly.

[ Imitates crying ]

Who's he acting like?

[ Laughs ]