01x11 - Christiansen Family

[bunniefuu]

Tonight, on "supernanny"...

Jo meets the christiansen family.

With two kids gone wild, mom can't cope...

You're not using the technique properly.

You're driving me nuts.

...and dad loses control...

She told you no, too. Now get over there!

...until jo reins in the kids...

No swearing. No hitting.

No kicking or biting.

...and steers mom and dad in the right direction.

It's very, very difficult.

No, no, no! I don't want to go!

No!

♪ Be good, be good, be good, be good, be good ♪

♪ Be good, be good, be good, be good ♪

♪ Johnny

♪ Be good, be good, be good, be good, be good ♪

♪ Be good, be good, be good, be good ♪

♪ Johnny

♪ Johnny

Let's take a look and see what family we've got this week.

There we go.

Hi, my name is chris christiansen.

And I'm colleen christiansen.

I work as an insurance agent.

My wife -- she's a stay-at-home mom.

We have two boys. Corey is .

Aah!

Chase is .

Colleen: chase, did you do that?

Why did you do that?

Basically, we traveled a lot before the children.

Our life was great. We both had our careers.

We didn't realize that once we had children,

We had to give up almost % of us.

[ Crying ]

Come on. Sit down.

Don't put your hands on me. Don't hit mommy.

Wait till your father gets home. You're gonna be in trouble.

Who's in charge -- mom, dad, or the kids?

Aah! Aah!

Colleen: corey is our first child.

He has a very stubborn personality.

Come on, corey.

Oh, this is crazy.

Go away. Go away.

Chase is learning by the example of corey.

No. [ Whispering indistinctly ]

Yes.

Our children kick us...

Chris, he just kicked me in the ribs.

...curse at us...

...throw things at us, and just totally disrespect us.

If they don't get their way, then that act out with anger.

Don't pinch me!

Look at this behavior.

When I discipline the children, colleen will come and interfere.

Stop. I can't -- excuse me, colleen, please.

Just hug him.

I did hug him. What are you talking about?

Chris: we don't agree on parenting techniques.

We don't really know what a parenting technique is.

Ow! Don't bite me! What are you biting me for?

I would love for my children to respect me.

Stop it! Ouch!

Yeah, supernanny, we need your help.

[ Crying ] our whole family's falling apart.

This has got to stop right now. I'm on my way.

[ Doorbell rings ]

Open the door.

Hello. How are you?

Good. I'm chris.

Jo.

My first impression of the supernanny

When she arrived is I felt relieved,

'Cause I've been waiting a long time for her

To come and help us.

Hi, I'm colleen.

Hi, colleen. Pleased to meet you.

Welcome to our home.

This is chase. He's .

Pleased to meet you.

Jo seems to be a very warm person

And very interested in our family.

This is corey.

Hi, corey. Pleased to meet you.

Well, I'm here to observe and watch

The dynamics of your family, so feel free

To carry on as if I'm not here,

And I'm gonna watch you throughout your day.

We're very happy you're here.

Chris: all right, corey and chase, I got your food, guys.

I want you to sit up.

Jo: when I first walked into the house,

The parents were doing breakfast.

Corey, is that what you're having for breakfast --

Jelly beans?

No, chase. That's not very nice.

Guys, you know you're not supposed to have candy

Before breakfast.

Give me the gum.

Give me the gum.

Chew it up, and then spit it out in my hand.

Okay, thank you.

Daddy!

What? Don't yell at me. What are you yelling for?

I'm not getting it now. You take a bite.

Don't put your hands up at me.

Here. Don't hit me.

Did I miss a baby?

There's the baby.

Chase, these are yours?

I think it's ridiculous that chase has a bottle.

He's years old.

He's a big boy. He's not a baby.

Have a good day.

Bye.

Can you say "please"?

Chase: I want it!

Stop that.

Chase, that's not very nice -- how you're acting.

Here.

Jo: dad went off to work, and mom had corey and chase,

And chase started to have a temper tantrum.

No, that's not nice. Come on.

Come here. Come on.

Would you like to do some-- don't push mommy.

Mommy wants to put the light back on so we can see.

Off! Come on.

Look it. You're making jo sad.

Sorry? I told him he's making you sad.

Why did you tell him that?

Oh, so he feels bad, so he stops with the light.

Jo: I was a bit shocked

That colleen involved me when she was trying

To discipline chase.

I just thought, "why are you doing that?"

Do you want me to read you a book?

Don't pinch at me. Come on.

Colleen's day with the children is completely unstructured.

[ Beeping ]

Don't pinch, honey.

They don't do anything in the house that's productive.

No. No, don't do that. Why are you doing that?

The children are constantly bored in the house.

They look for things to do.

They want to try and make some fun for themselves.

Chase christiansen, come back here.

Stop now.

You shouldn't stand on there. You'll get hurt.

Jo: but the fun they're making is mischief.

Corey, I'm not playing games with you right now.

And whilst the cat's away, the mice continue to play.

Corey was so bored around midmorning

That he ran out of the house

To go and get one of his friends to play with.

Corey, come back in the house, please.

[ Slams ]

Chase... Now chase has locked us out.

Chase has locked you out of the house?

Yep. Yep, he did.

We were stuck outside the house. We couldn't get in.

Chase, open the door now.

So, wait.

Are you being serious -- we're really locked outside?

So how are we gonna get in?

Chase should know, as a house rule,

That he's not allowed to lock people out, that it's not funny.

Can you please open the door?

Coming up on "supernanny"...

Chase, open the door now.

Mom's left out in the cold.

Chase! Come on. Mommy will give you something.

And when dad gets home, jo turns up the heat...

You act like teenagers.

It's not funny. I really don't find it funny.

...when "supernanny" returns.

♪ Be good, be good

Chase, open the door now.

Are you being serious -- we're really locked outside?

So how are we gonna get in?

Chase!

Can you please open the door?

This is crazy. I'm laughing.

I can't believe I'm actually stuck outside your home.

Chase had locked us out, and we couldn't do anything.

And there was mom at the window,

Begging chase to open up the door --

I mean, just ridiculous.

Chase...

Mom was so desperate to get in, she actually bribed chase.

Eventually, it worked.

Okay, thank you.

He's decided to let us in.

That wasn't very nice of you.

You left poor jo outside.

Jo: chase's behavior is totally unacceptable.

After he let us back into the house, it only got worse.

Don't pinch at me.

[ Cries ]

Is that the kind of behavior you get from chase?

From chase pinching? Yes.

Corey will also pinch me once in a while if he gets angry at me,

If I won't let him do something.

But...

No, that's not nice to do to mommy.

Mommy wants you to stop. I want you to calm down.

Calm down.

[ Cries ]

Aah!

Sometimes, I have to just walk away

From him until he calms down.

So, every time I go towards him, he starts acting out more.

Aah.

While your brother comes down --

Now that he's breaking the door now...

Well, it's not very nice to break the door.

Oh, he did break it.

Jo: chase was so angry that he was now becoming destructive.

I couldn't believe what he was doing.

Get out!

Okay, you're gonna sit here by yourself, then, again.

[ Slams ]

Ooh. Did he just slam that door in your face?

Yes, he did.

Jo: mom said nothing.

Oh, dear.

What I recognize in this family

Is that the children gained so much control

That it's almost like the parents are scared

To actually deal with the consequences of that behavior.

[ Crying ] it's worse when his brother is home,

Because... When they're together,

But if I have him on my own, then I can handle him.

But then, if I'm going back and forth between the two of them,

It's very, very difficult.

And it just -- I feel like a failure.

I think it's sad that mom fills up with it.

And, emotionally, she's broke.

Hello. Hey, hon.

How are you?

Hi, chris.

Crazy day -- it's been very crazy.

Jo: when chris came home from work,

Mom was there, ready to let off steam

And tell chris how naughty the children had behaved.

He broke the door in the laundry room.

What?

He broke the door in the laundry room to try to peek out.

What do you mean? Let's go see it.

Broke the door -- how did he break the door?

Chris: what did you do to him?

Colleen: nothing. I didn't do anything.

I let him cry in there till he calmed down,

Because he was kicking me and everything.

You put him in the room?

I put him in his room at one point.

Did you lock him in there? No!

You just let him cry. Okay.

You broke that door, right?

On the bottom -- yes, I know that.

You broke the door, right? Show me where you broke it.

Jo: in this household, it's very apparent that chris

Has to deal with all the discipline when he comes home.

You broke the door, right? Why did you break the door?

Did you ask why he broke the door?

I know why he broke it -- out of a tantrum.

I know he broke the door, and you know he broke the door.

You know why he did it. I want him to...

Well, he's . He's not gonna say it.

That has nothing to do with it.

Jo: I'll tell you what's ridiculous --

Mom and dad arguing like teenagers

In front of their children.

I'm starting a conversation. I'm trying to talk to you.

See, he cannot come home, and he can never talk to me.

Who are you talking to, colleen? Talk to me.

No, you can't communicate. You just don't.

You're in your own world.

Jo: there is so much tension between mom and dad,

And those kids are hearing every word.

And they're like two bombs ticking, ticking, ticking,

And I don't even know when it's gonna explode.

Corey: I want that.

He's having his dinner.

I told him times not to have that.

She told you no, too. Now get over there!

Don't pinch me. He just pinched me.

Jo: mom's basically given all the authority to dad,

And it's undermining

Her position as mom in the household.

Did you just pinch mommy? Did you?

Yeah?

Go sit down.

Yeah, that's right. That's right.

I would have done that regardless.

Go sit down.

You're a [bleep] I'm a what?

Don't curse at me.

You don't put your hands on your mother.

No...

Don't scratch me! Don't hit me.

You sit there, and you --

Corey, I'm warning you. Don't throw that at me.

Jo: you could see that dad has reached the end of his tether.

He shouts, and he yells.

His children are a reflection of him,

Because they do the same back.

Come on. You're going to your room.

You want to sit there and play with me?

Chris: why are you crying?

Because I put you in your room because you kicked me?

Well, I think you need to get in your room.

Colleen: don't scream at the bottom of the steps.

Who's screaming at the bottom of the step?

What are you talking about?

You are.

No, I'm not screaming. Corey knows when I'm screaming.

I picked him up before, and I think I did okay.

Instead of yelling him, standing back and forth.

So put him back in the room, you're saying?

Well, if you want him to be in there longer,

Take him by the hand and tell him.

Right.

Jo: after I have observed the family,

I sit down with the mom and dad.

I need to be honest and tell them the issues

And how we're going to resolve them.

Hi, guys. Hi.

I've seen enough, so I think it's time to talk.

So let's go through and have a chat.

Colleen: I was most worried about jo saying

That I was a bad mother and I wasn't doing my job properly.

Chris: a little bit of nervousness,

Because I didn't know what to expect,

But excited at the same time.

What two lovely boys you have. Lovely home.

Thank you.

The family that you have takes a lot of hard work,

But when did you give up?

[ Exhales slowly ]

When did you stop the love and the joy

That isn't in this house anymore?

We're trying to bring that back together.

Sad -- I see two parents in this house

That are not enjoying

The role you've been blessed to have, and it's sad.

Behavior in this house

Is a seriously big issue.

Your sons swear at you. And they kick you.

And they punch you.

I know.

How much abuse do the pair of you want to take

From your own kids?

It's so shocking that it's become sad.

Your children behave appallingly.

They have no respect. It's disgusting.

And, yet, there is no discipline for it.

The way you deal with discipline, chris --

You shout, and you yell at them, and you grab them.

You've lost control with the kids.

And I've walked into a house where, really,

There's four kids in this house.

[ Laughs ]

It is. I guess we're very immature.

It's not funny. I really don't find it funny.

You guys are the parents here.

And when your children misbehave,

You act like teenagers -- tit for tat, tit for tat.

I suggest the pair of you grow up right now

And get real with the responsibilities

Of what you have in front of your face.

Colleen, the lights are on, but no one's in.

That's what comes to mind. Your body posture's low.

You've given up.

Your children know you've given up.

You just walk around the house every day, switched off.

[ Crying ] I totally ignore it,

Because it's difficult for me to deal with.

It's called taking responsibilities.

It's about recognizing that you're a mother.

I know that it's hard. Otherwise I wouldn't be here.

But I don't want to hear excuses.

I don't want to hear from the pair of you, "we've quit.

We give up."

Because you can't.

You've got two young children.

And the price that the pair of you are gonna pay as parents --

Trust me -- is gonna be steep if you don't get a grip on this.

You guys have got to be % dedicated

And committed to one another and to your children,

Because your kids are a reflection on yourselves.

It was difficult for me to hear,

"You're not a child. Start acting like a parent."

Chris: nobody wants to hear the truth.

It was very sad to hear what she had to say.

Okay. Let's get started with some work.

Coming up on "supernanny"...

Colleen plays games...

Wow. Mommy's gonna go next. Do you think it's gonna fall?

[ Laughter ]

...while chase gives dad the runaround...

No, no!

No! No!

...when "supernanny" returns.

♪ Be good, be good

Jo: on the first day of teaching,

I give the family a routine.

For the christiansens, I've given them a parent schedule

So that there is structure to their day.

This is what you guys need in this house, okay?

Colleen: when jo brought in the parent schedule,

I felt a sense of relief,

Because I was like, "wow, this is really great.

Now I have a schedule for my family."

At :, the kids are to get up, washed, and dressed.

And then take corey to school.

Between : and :, mom,

This is gonna be your playtime with chase.

I want you to have "mommy and me" time.

Okay.

At : p.m., "Mom and me" time with corey.

You need to give him your time, as well.

And then, at :, he can sit down

And do his homework at the table.

And at : p.m., I want you to sit down and have dinner.

And let's give lots of affirmation and praise

About what each person did during the day

And how wonderful it was.

How do you feel about that? Very excited.

I love it.

Chris: this is great.

This is a great thing that we need.

I was actually smiling from ear to ear.

This household desperately needed discipline.

The children were always pushing the limits.

So I gave mom and dad the cool-down area,

Which was two beanbags where the children would go

If they misbehaved.

No swearing. No hitting.

No kicking or biting.

Okay?

When your children have a temper tantrum,

They'll go to the cool-down area.

After I've introduced the discipline technique,

I wait around for a moment to happen

Where I can help the parents enforce the technique.

I didn't have to wait long.

No, I'm not eating.

Chase, daddy's -- chase, look at daddy.

I'm gonna give you one warning.

Daddy's gonna put you in the cool-down area

If you don't calm down and eat your food, okay?

Just eat your food, and then you can go out and play.

You sit down here for three minutes,

And you think about what you did.

Come down to his level and talk to him.

Chase, chase, listen.

A low, authoritative voice.

Chase, the reason daddy's putting you here

Is 'cause you didn't listen to me and eat your food, okay?

Walk away.

Say nothing and just put him back onto the beanbag.

No, no, no!

I don't want to go! No!

Daddy! Daddy!

Daddy! Daddy!

[ Cries ]

No, no!

Come here.

[ Cries ]

Jo: do you feel good?

Oh, yeah.

I know it'll take some time, yeah.

I know, but you're doing so well.

You're breaking that cycle.

I'd like an apology for you for not eating your food.

Say, "daddy, I'm sorry."

You don't want to say you're sorry?

No.

No? Then I'm gonna have to sit you in the cool down.

Stay there for a few more minutes, okay?

Does he understand that not eating his lunch

Was a bad behavior?

What is it that you're feeling right now?

I just feel bad that he's upset.

But you shouldn't.

That screaming -- what's your child doing?

Acting out for attention.

As a mother, you know your children,

And you know what chase is doing.

That is a good thing, 'cause you recognize it, okay?

So grab it, take it, and go, "as a mom,

I know exactly what my child's doing."

As a mom, I know exactly what my child's doing.

And that's what we want. We want that positive attitude.

[ Crying ]

In a minute, I want you to go over to him, okay,

And say to him, "I want an apology for your behavior, okay?

I want you to say you're sorry."

Last time -- I need you to say you're sorry.

Okay. Fair enough

Okay, we're working on this here. Okay.

That was good. You're starting there.

But you need to lower your voice when you say that, okay?

Okay, and put your arms out and just say "sorry."

He said he was sorry.

Give daddy a hug and tell me you're sorry.

Thank you. Give me a hug.

Come here.

And kisses.

The "mommy and me" technique is very important,

Because it's going to teach colleen

How to play with her children,

How to reconnect with her children

And enjoy spending time with them.

This is gonna be the special "mommy and me" box, okay?

Because what this box is gonna have in it is things

That you can do with mommy.

Mom, come in.

Chase, you gonna play? Come on.

Oh, well done, corey.

The way you keep children engaged

Is by making the game seem exciting.

[ Gasps ] wow! Look at you -- clever!

You bring that into it, okay?

Wow! Mommy's gonna go next. Do you think it's gonna fall?

Go on. Take your piece. Yay!

Mom really tried hard to play with the children

And to get them involved in a game,

And the children were very receptive to it.

Colleen: I felt closer to my children.

Using the "mommy and me" box, I felt like everybody was happy.

Oh, no!

Children must be allowed to breathe and be kids

And get mucky and have sticky fingers

And enjoy themselves.

That's what it's about --

Getting all your fingers sticky and having fun.

Get your hands all sticky.

Then, afterwards, you can wash up.

Colleen: do you want to make a snake?

Let's roll it like this. Roll it like this.

Finished!

I need one more "sss."

Great. I like it a lot.

Corey had made an alligator,

And chase destroyed it.

[ Cries ]

Oh, no.

Sit down.

You don't destroy your brother's property!

Mom was so angry...

That was not nice. He worked very hard on that!

...she put chase straight in the cool-down area.

It worked perfectly.

I was very annoyed that corey's alligator got ruined,

So I found the strength to put chase in the cool-down section.

Tell corey you're sorry.

All right. That's very good.

She did a very good job, and I was very proud of her.

Coming up on "supernanny"...

Mommy's gonna get rid of the bottle.

Chase is on the wagon...

Look at your new cup.

Daddy!

...while mom bails on the boys...

You guys can play this game, and I'm gonna pass.

There'll be no passing in this house.

...when "supernanny" returns.

♪ Be good, be good

What I want to do

Is I want to move chase on from this bottle.

He's years old. He doesn't need it.

I've got here...

Okay, the special cup, all right?

We're gonna say goodbye to the bottle.

Mom, I want you to do this with chase.

I want my bottle!

"I think this is important that you do this, okay,

Because you need to let go of this baby thing, all right?"

Colleen: chase, look it. You're a big boy now.

And you're not gonna have the bottle anymore,

But look it. You have your new cup.

Daddy! Daddy!

Look at your new cup.

Daddy! Don't cry.

Mommy's gonna get rid of the bottle.

You don't need it any-- yeah, I do.

You don't need the bottle anymore, okay?

We're gonna throw it out, okay? Don't throw it away!

I'll put it away.

Chris: no, excuse me.

Can I just interrupt? Chase. Chase.

Ah ah! Colleen's gonna do this.

Don't worry. Come here. Trust us.

Mommy's gonna take the bottle and put it away

Because you're a big boy now,

And we're gonna give you a big-boy cup.

I want to keep my bottle.

So because he's now screaming for it,

He's got you scared of that.

He's got you feeling sorry for him.

I feel sorry for him, right.

So chase has learned to have a temper tantrum

To get what he wants.

"We're gonna get rid of the bottle,

"Because you're a big boy.

Only babies have bottles, and you're not mommy's baby."

This is your big-boy cup because you're big.

Look how nice it is. You're not a baby anymore.

Mommy's gonna take the bottle,

And we're gonna get rid of it, okay?

Mommy's gonna take it.

I need my bottle!

Look.

Look, mommy's gonna throw it in the garbage.

Chris: I'll take the bottle again.

Take it from him.

Look. Give me the garbage can.

I don't want to!

Take this out to the curb.

Look at this cool cup. Let's just take a look at it.

I know you don't want, but just take it out.

Watch it turn. Watch the colors.

See? I don't know. I kind of like it.

Wow!

Jo: I'm gonna leave you guys for a couple of days

To implement all the techniques that you've learned.

And make sure you stick to the parent schedule.

You guys badly needed a constructive day.

"Mommy and me" time -- children need that one-to-one attention.

Thank you very much.

Take care. Keep communicating, you two.

All right? Keep communicating.

See you soon.

Hey, see you soon.

Say bye.

Jo: little do they know I'm going to be keeping

A sharp eye on the pair of them.

Get away from me!

Corey, you don't hit.

Wait a minute. Stop.

Come on. Sort out this arguing.

Chris: put them both in the cool-out time now.

They need to both -- I don't care.

Dad, back off.

Now you've got to discuss this with chris.

What are you gonna do with corey?

They both stepped aside and said I'm sorry.

[ Sighs ]

Corey needs to be put in the cool-down chair.

Please go handle the situation.

Yeah, hon, yeah.

Corey...

I know, but you have to learn not to hit people.

And chase is, too, because he hit you.

Why did he hit me first?

You guys know we'll be back to talk about it in a few minutes.

Dad, why are you getting involved?

Where's my cup?

Where'd you put my cup?

Jo: this is ridiculous.

Colleen, you should have been doing this.

Corey, you do not hit anyone in this house.

If you have a problem with anybody in this house,

You come to mommy or daddy.

Mom, you're taking a backseat in this.

"Your snack, mom and me time, corey homework."

Since you spend a lot of mommy time

During the day when daddy's at work,

Do you want to have daddy time and play a game?

He read the chart.

It's the weekend.

Daddy will spend some time with you, 'cause daddy's not here.

We're all gonna play together, okay?

Okay, so you're all together. This is good.

[ Laughter ]

Okay, you guys can play this game,

And I'm gonna pass on this one,

So you can have some daddy time with them.

You're gonna pass on it?

There'll be no passing in this house.

Colleen, what's happened?

You're meant to be engaging the children.

You can spend some time with us.

I'm gonna be go on for about minutes.

No, you stay here and play with us.

Exactly. Corey wants you to stay with him.

Don't go.

Corey, we're not playing duck, duck, goose, okay?

I'll be back.

Jo: oh, come on, mom.

Where's your enthusiasm?

Oh, so, so much for "mommy and me" time, then.

Get away from me!

You know what? Sit in the chair.

Sit in your chair.

What did he do?

I did not even touch you!

You went to swing at me.

You do not swing at your father.

[ Cries ]

This is not good.

We do not put our hands up to daddy, okay?

I'll be back.

I didn't see him do it. You're imagining that.

Look at the pair of you, arguing in front of the children.

As your husband, I'm telling you to believe me what I saw.

And what you're saying is I'm not telling you the truth.

Is that what you're saying?

I'm asking you, 'cause that's what I saw.

You're hotheaded, the pair of you.

You both need to calm down.

You're not using the technique properly.

You're driving me nuts. Why?

Because you put him in the seat because he swung at you.

This is very disappointing, guys.

Chris: I'm a little upset.

There is no arguing with my wife

When she sticks to her ground.

It's like she just went back to herself.

I didn't do it.

Mommy didn't do anything.

We need to talk.

Coming up on "supernanny"...

Jo has heard enough...

Grow up, the pair of you. Grow up.

...and sends colleen and chrs to their room

To start talking...

Colleen: and I'll go first.

I don't agree with that.

...when "supernanny" returns.

♪ Be good, be good

[ Doorbell rings ]

Hiya. How are you?

Well, while I've been away for a couple of days,

I've had a look at some footage.

I'd like to talk to you both now,

So can we go over to the table and have a chat?

Jo: it's the real stepping stone,

Because they're able to see the mistakes they've made,

So that they can tweak that and make it correct.

You guys can play this game,

And I'm gonna pass on this one,

So you can have some daddy time with them.

There'll be no passig in this house.

"Mommy and me" time is crucial.

I know you need your time,

But...your children need that time.

This was a time when daddy was home

That you should have been then embracing it as a family.

It's about the kids first.

Me!

Don't hit. Corey, you don't hi.

Put them both in the cool-out time.

Corey needs to be put in the cool-down chair.

Why did he hit me first?

You do not hit anyoe in this house.

Right. Dad... Stop taking over there.

And stop intervening.

Let mom deal with the discipline.

You know you can do it.

Have him sit up and listen to you, all right?

Get away from me!

You know what? Sit in the chair.

Sit in your chai.

We do not put our hans up to daddy.

You're not using the technique properly.

You're driving me nuts. Why?

Because you put him in the seat.

Grow up, the pair of you. Grow up.

Start communicating. Start listening to one another.

Start respecting what the other one has to say,

Because when you start to argue, you both lose your cool.

You get angry with one another.

And your kids listen to everything.

And then they get dragged into everything.

It's not fair on them.

Still a lot of work to do,

And, in general, we need to be able to focus

On how the pair of you deal with your children together, okay?

And we'll see how today goes.

Sounds good. Sounds great.

What I thought was awful on the dvd

Was just the arguing between my husband and I

In front of the children.

I said, "wow. We need to stop this."

Chris: when we were watching the dvd,

I felt we have some issues that me and colleen need to handle.

When someone's telling me, "this is what you need to do,"

I'm gonna do it.

The communication-zone technique

Is what I introduced for chris and colleen

To get them to start talking, so I gave them each a box

To write down their thoughts and sent them off to their room,

Where they can talk away from the kids,

Because it's desperately needed for mom and dad.

They both need to really say what they mean to one another.

Chris, we're supposed to exchange boxes.

One for you. One for me.

Okay. And I'll go first.

It says, "I think we should discuss the techniques."

When I discipline the children, you always say,

"I don't think you did this right."

So instead of you coming to me and saying,

"Chris, you did it wrong,"

In front of the kids or something like that,

What I'm asking you to do is talk to me later about it,

Because I just don't want to talk in front of the children.

My turn.

"I think you use the cool-down section too often."

I think you have to only use the cool-down section

When it's really, really needed,

Because if you use it, like, times in a row,

Then it's not gonna be effective

When we really need to use it.

He's not gonna care if he's sitting there anymore.

I don't agree with that.

I think if a child doesn't listen to you now,

What makes you think he's gonna listen when he gets older?

Chris: we need to communicate.

That's something we've been missing,

And I think this is what's gonna make us happier.

I think we can work on it together.

Once we work together as a team

And we improve our communication with one another...

Good job, honey.

...there is gonna be a huge change

In our children's behavior.

Coming up on "supernanny"...

Mommy can't get it. Get it!

Jo teaches colleen how to get down and dirty...

It's high energy.

Jo: quick, quick, quick!

Get it!

Yay!

...when "supernanny" returns.

♪ Be good, be good

Jo: colleen and chris still aren't on the same page

When it comes to implementing discipline,

So it was important that they come together and work through

What they felt an unacceptable behavior is.

Now the pair of you have got discipline in place.

But what the pair of you do need to do

Is to discuss your household rules

And write it down on the board.

No yelling.

No yelling -- I agree.

No hitting and pinching.

Eat your food at the table.

I agree. That's a good one. Great.

How about no talking back?

No cursing.

Ask permission to leave the house.

Jo: for the first time, they were communicating as parents

How they wanted their children to be brought up.

Practice good manners. Be courteous.

Mommy and daddy may think of some

In the future that we might have missed,

But let's take it from that point on.

Sound good?

I think the household rules is gonna make a huge improvement.

I'm glad she came out with that, 'cause we needed that.

All right...

When chris and I were doing the rules,

I felt, for the first time, we were working together

As a team and making decisions for our children.

And I think that was the missing piece of the puzzle.

Today, it was important to do more work

On "mommy and me" time, because I wanted to show colleen

If she gives a little bit of her heart and time to those kids

What she'll get back.

Okay, mom, get chase involved.

You want to play monkey in the middle?

Get the ball, chase.

Go, chase, get it.

Mommy can't get it. Get it!

Okay, so, mom, when chase goes to grab that ball,

Run as if you're gonna grab it, so you make him go,

Because he'll want to grab it before you.

Mom, quick, quick, quick, quick!

Mom, we don't care how we look.

What we're doing is we're having fun, okay?

Jo: mom needs to loosen up and get with the action

And enjoy her company.

Mom, take your shoes off.

Take your shoes off. Inhibitions -- gone.

Ready?

It's all of this. It's high energy.

Jo-jo's gonna try to stop you.

Ready? Now pass it to corey.

Quick! Oh! Quick, quick, quick, quick!

Get it, get it! [ Laughs ]

All right, I want you to do the same.

Just keep it high-energy.

I wanted mom to let all her inhibitions down.

I wanted her to be silly mom and just get wrapped up

With having fun and enjoying the children --

To just lighten up.

Get it! Get it!

I got it!

Just be silly mommy.

Oh, no! I got it.

Colleen: I felt really good today playing with my boys,

'Cause I was like a little kid.

And I have to let my guard down a little bit

And not be self-conscious of what people think,

And it's something that I need to work on with myself.

If you're rolling on the floor and you're tickling them

And you're laughing with them, go with it.

It's all part of the fun.

Chris: I liked it today when colleen was playing with the kids,

And jo helped get colleen involved.

And, to be honest, it made me very happy to see that.

Okay, corey's gonna be the monkey in the middle now.

Throw it to mommy. Yay!

Jo: the response from the children

Was absolutely beautiful, so I hope that mom continues

To just carry on with the kids like that.

Come on, guys. We're gonna get mommy!

Come on. Everybody, let's go get mommy.

Whoo-hoo!

Jo: you gonna come and say goodbye to me?

Chris: let's go say goodbye.

Bye.

Jo: when I first walked into the christiansens' home,

It was full of a lot of negativity.

The energy was very low.

Give hugs.

Now the children have structure, and they have a routine.

That's made them more secure.

Can I have a cuddle, please? Can I have a cuddle, huh?

Thank you so much for everything you've done for us.

You're more than welcome.

Chris, take care, yeah. Take care of yourself.

Be strong. Keep talking.

Bye-bye.

Jo: chris and colleen have now come together

And decided what behavior

Is gonna be unacceptable in their household,

And that's very important for them both.

Chris: I began seeing the family now starting to be happier.

I didn't feel we had any respect for each other at all.

Now I think we've earned their respect.

Colleen: I see a big change in chase.

He's listening, and he's doing what we tell him to do.

Here's your glass of milk.

If I had realized it was that easy to get rid

Of chase's bottle, I would have used the technique

Two years ago.

Chris: we're very happy.

Corey used to walk around all sad and bored.

But now we have things to do. We have a structure.

He loves the chart very much, and he loves order.

Colleen: through this whole process, I've learned

That giving them love and showing them happiness

By just playing a simple game with them is fine,

And the important thing to life is just having fun.

Ahh!

I'm able to concentrate and focus more on my children,

And they are showing, actually,

More affection to me because of this.

Great big hug.

Colleen: our family was in total chaos before jo came,

And I just see smiles on my children's faces,

And it's great.

Chris: the impact that jo has had on our family

Has been a big degrees.

Our family used to be so stressed out, always yelling.

Our family's happy now.

Can you please open the door? No!

Chase, open the door now.

Are you being serious -- we're really locked outside?

So how are we gonna get in?