05x24 - Doug's Disappearing Dog

[bunniefuu]

♪ Ba-ba-du-bop boop bop boop ♪

♪ Ba-ba-du-bop boo-doo-bop ♪

♪ Ba-ba-du-bop boop bop boop ♪

♪ Ba-ba-du-bop boo-doo-bop ♪

[whistling]

♪ Ba-ba-du-bop boop bop boop ♪

[chattering]

♪ Ba-ba-du-bop boo-doo-bop ♪

-[chuckling]
-Pfft.

[growling]

[screaming]

[yelping]

[whistling]

[indistinct talking]

[screaming]

♪ Ba-ba-du-bop boop bop boop du-bop ♪

Huh? Pork Chop?

-[gasp]
-[grr]

Pork Chop?

[heavy breathing]

[gasp]

-Whoa!
-[evil laugh]

Hey!

Whoa.

Whoa.

Aah!

[laughing]

What?

Aah!

Stay back!

Aah. Aah!

Pork Chop? Aah!

Unh.

Whoa!

Aah!

Dear Journal, it started out
like a normal day...

for about two seconds.

Huh? Pork Chop?

Pork Chop?

Unh. Pork Chop, time for breakfast!

Pork Chop! Pork Chop?

[footsteps]

[whistling]

That's me!

Pork Chop is missing.

Missing? He better not be gone.

He owes me five bucks.

Did you check in his teepee, Doug?

[Doug] Oh, yeah. His teepee.

Of course. Why didn't I think of that?

I'll check his teepee. Huh? Aah!

Mom, Dad, come quick!

-[bubbling]
-Pork Chop is gone!

Pork Chop packed up his teepee and left.

But why?

I knew the reason
must've been in the note he left,

but I could never read his handwriting.

Maybe someone had seen him
at the places he usually goes to.

Um, hi. Is Pork Chop there?

Nope. Haven't seen him, Doug.

[French accent] Ooh. No, no, no.

Monsieur Pork Chop
is not at his usual table.

I'm so sorry.

[woof woof woof woof woof]

Uh, I just... Um, okay.

All right. I can appreciate that.

Okay. Okay. Sure thing.

[sigh]

[man on TV] Today, on Newton's Noodle,

we explore the canine brain.

-Just what is your dog thinking?
-Huh?

Ninety-nine and 44/100%
of the average dog brain

is dedicated to eating...

[barking]

And sleeping.

What's left is used for
dog interests and hobbies.

[ruff ruff]

Not Pork Chop.
His brain has always worked.

Since he was a puppy even.

[panting] Come on, boy!

Come on. Ha ha ha.

Come on. Try to get me.

[humming]

We're going to zoom into
the upper atmosphere and... And...

-Unh.
-[gasp]

You broke Odds Bodkins.

I'm telling.

-What, Pork Chop?
-[arf]

[arf]

[arf]

[saw whirring]

You're a genius!

Oh, thank you, Doctor.

Hey, don't I get a family discount?

He's always the best audience.

Ha ha ha.

And a great dancer.

Then there was the time
he repaired that telescope in deep space.

Ahem.

Hmm? Okay, that didn't happen.

But it might've if he went
to astronaut school.

But I'll never know now.
How could he leave?

He won't be happy anywhere else.

I can just imagine
how some other kid would treat him.

Fetch, dog. Unh.

Stop that stupid dancing
and fetch the stick, dog!

[screech]

Oh, I'll show you. Take this stupid teepee

and make it into fire wood.

Hey, dog. You live
in a dog house now, dog.

Eat your dog food, dog.

[sniff sniff]

Judy, why would he go?

[French accent] I am not Judy.
I am Inspector Funnie.

When was the last time
you saw le chien pooch?

If you mean Pork Chop, it was yesterday

at the Flounder's Day picnic.

[Judy] You mean the Founder's Day picnic.

[Doug] No, that's next month.

This was a picnic to honor Flounder,

a guitar player for the Beats.

He grew up in North Bluffington, you know.

Everyone was there.

Pork Chop loves Flounder.

♪ I have a place where I keep my face ♪

♪ It's my head ♪

-♪ My head ♪
-♪ My head ♪

♪ It's in a space that I can't misplace ♪

♪ It's my head ♪

-♪ My head ♪
-♪ My head ♪

♪ If I kept my face on my shoes ♪

Aah!

♪ If I kept my face on my foot ♪

♪ I'd stomp it when I die ♪

One more grilled heap comin' up.

[all] Oh. Ugh.

♪ I have a place where I keep my face ♪

♪ It's my head ♪

-♪ My head ♪
-♪ My head ♪

And remember, kids,
don't hit anybody in the head.

That really hurts.

♪ It's my head ♪

[Judy] Dougie, stick to the topic.

When did you last see the Pork Chop?

[Doug] Oh, yeah. It was after that,

at the pie-eating contest.

Pork Chop was doing okay,

but Roger was eating
three times as fast as anyone.

[grr]

[all] Aah!

It's a wolverine!

-Aah!
-Get outta the way!

Ow. Hey!

Oh. Ha ha ha. Ms. Kristal,

um, I disqualify myself. Ha ha ha.

[Doug] After he won that,

he entered the talent contest with Connie.

-[rock music playing]
-[yelling]

[howls]

[grunting]

[cheering]

Whoa. That was excellent.

I thought I was gonna pass out.

I'm as deaf as a spoon. Now that's music!

[Doug] Pork Chop won the talent show, too.

After that, we all went to Swirly's.

It was a great day.

Someone must've done
something terrible to him

when I wasn't with him.

That's the only answer.

Well, that is it.

This case is closed. Au revoir.

Thanks a lot!

Hmm.

This collar is still warm.

He couldn't have left very long ago.

I'm gonna find him
no matter where I have to look,

and I'm not coming back until I do.

[Doug] So like a Canadian mountie
who always gets his man,

I went to find Pork Chop.

Douglas, come back and finish
your sandwich, please.

Unfortunately, Mom didn't understand
the ways of the mountie.

Whoa.

[humming]

Mr. Dink, did you see
Pork Chop this morning?

Why, no, Douglas.

The only thing I saw
was a short guy dragging a teepee

with some very nice luggage, I must say.

Did this guy have a tail?

Well, now that you mention it,
he did. Ha ha ha.

Hey, you suppose that guy was your dog?

-Which way did he go?
-Thataway, Douglas.

I had to act fast.

No.

Nope, nope, nope.

Uh-uh. Uh-uh.

-Uh-uh. Uh-uh.
-No one had seen him...

not even from behind.

I couldn't cover
the whole town without help,

so I went to Skeet's.

Sure, I'll help ya, man. Let's go.

Do you remember anyone
treating Pork Chop bad, Skeet?

Yeah. I remember it like it was yesterday.

It was yesterday, Skeet.

Well, that explains it, then.

You came up to me and said,

"Is there still ice cream on my dress?"

[Doug] What? That wasn't me,
that was Beebe.

[Skeeter] Oh, yeah. Right.

You were singing a song.

♪ La la la ♪

♪ It's my head ♪

♪ My head ♪

[Doug] No. That was Flounder.

[Skeeter] Hmm. My short-term memory's
not so good.

Maybe you could wait
and ask me this stuff again next year.

Oh, hey, guys.

I asked Connie and Beebe
if they remembered

if anything happened to Pork Chop.

I remember the picnic perfectly.

Connie and I arrived fashionably late.

Everyone was thrilled to see me.

[clamoring]

My throat, it's parched.

Huh? Thank you, Skeeter.

I hope you like frothy goat.

[Beebe] Everyone was happy
to see me except Roger Klotz.

Don't look at her. Look at me.

I'm rich. Hee hee.

Look at this expensive jacket.

[struggling] Huh? What the... Oh.

Ha ha ha.

Oh, no!

Now that poor child has no ice cream.

How awful!

[Connie] Uh, Beebe?

So I bought ice cream
for all the little children.

Beebe, that's not what happened.

Everything was normal.

Flounder's new group was playing,

I think Roger was there.

I'm rich! You're all jealous!

Hey, watch it.

[Connie] And you were
your usual, sweet self.

You little monster!

Children should not be allowed
to eat ice cream!

I'm calling the police!

Oh, that is so the opposite of true.

I was there, Beebe.

So was I, and so was my lawyer.

And he'll back me up no matter what I say.

Hey, what about my dog?

Oh, yeah. I remember him
at the three-legged race.

You were wearing that same old thing.

Don't you own anything else?

[Doug] What about Pork Chop?

[Beebe] Oh, right. Well, it was
just before the big race.

I can't race with you
'cause... 'cause you're made of cardboard.

[Beebe] He stood with Al and Moo Sleech

while you and Skeeter raced.

Hey, thanks for reminding me.

I knew I forgot to do something.

I'll bet the Sleeches
and that crazy dog of theirs

did something to Pork Chop.

Negative 36.

Negative 36 to the third power.

[growling]

We gotta talk to the Sleeches
before we look anywhere else.

Exciting Los Karkees, huh?

Round trip?

Oh. One way.

They say if you want to start over,

Los Karkees is the place to go.

Let's see.

That bus leaves once every two weeks,

and you just missed it.

Shouldn't have stood here
chattin' with me.

[growling]

-[ruff]
-Beautiful Bloatsburg it is.

That bus leaves in 15 minutes.

Captain Cosmo didn't do anything
to Pork Chop, Doug Funnie.

Captain Cosmo?

We named him Captain Cosmo
because we are certain he is a captain

from somewhere out there.

Captain Cosmo has been behaving oddly.

He digs holes and chews on a rubber bone

and likes his tummy scratched.

These are not the interests
of an interstellar starship captain.

Al, what about Pork Chop?

We did not participate in the race

because we had a note from our doctor.

"Al and Moo should not waste
their brain power

on activities that are dopey.

Signed, their doctor."

The acceleration rate of Pattie Mayonnaise

and that guy guy
will bring them to victory.

You are so cute when you calculate.

He is incorrect. Their vectors intersect.

Your memory is faulty.

The females were visiting
Pork Chop and Captain Cosmo,

not you.

You are so cute. Yes.

Moo, your jealousy of my popularity

is boring to Doug Funnie.

Nothing unusual happened to your dog
while we were with him.

Ha ha ha.

Um, we last saw him
going to the Whirly Gag

with you and Pattie Mayonnaise.

[Doug] So we ran to Pattie's house.

Pork Chop didn't go on the ride with us.

-He didn't?
-No. don't you remember?

He waited in line
for a long time with us, but...

You have to be that tall
to ride, Pork Chop. Sorry.

I forgot about that.

[whimpering]

[all] Whoo!

[Patti] We were on that ride a long time

because Mr. Fort was running it.

[Doug] Mr. Fort, is the ride over yet?

No! 500 whirls, 1,000 gags,
builds character!

I'm dyin'.

Whoa.

What's the matter?

You can't take a little ride? Ha ha ha.

We gotta stop it!
I think I'm gonna blow beans!

[both] Aah!

Ha ha ha.

[Doug] Hold it. Back it up.

Roger wasn't on the ride with us.

I bet he did something bad to Pork Chop.

Joey Cucamonga. Are you kidding?

I was too busy to bother with your dog.

I arrived exactly at noon.

The name's Klotz, Roger Klotz.

There I was: Cool, rich Klotz.

Faithful cat, Stinky, by my side.

[snarl]

And the lovely Judy Funnie.

[Doug] Hey, Judy wasn't even there.

[Roger] Spoil sport.

And then you came along.

Well, hiya there, Roger Dodger-doo.

Boy, everyone sure remembers
things differently.

[snarls]

Huh? Yeow!

Aah! Ow!

Hey, where ya going?

Don't you wanna hear
how Flounder begged me

to give him guitar lessons? Hey!

No, thanks.

I looked everywhere and asked everybody.
I'll never find him.

He's probably 100 miles away by now.

The bus to Bloatsburg
will arrive in three minutes.

♪ I have a place where I keep my face ♪

♪ It's my head ♪

[Doug] I always thought
Pork Chop and I would be together forever.

Ha ha ha.

I can't imagine my life without him.

Ha ha ha. Whoo-hoo!

[sigh]

[Doug] Who would I watch
my favorite cartoons with?

[man on TV] Skinny Jimmy's Lots of Cars.

Come on in and kick the tires!

Ow! Ooh.

[both] Ha ha.

[man on TV] ♪ Every boy needs a dog ♪

♪ Every dog needs a boy ♪

♪ A puppy dog is-- ♪

[chirping]

Don't worry, Doug.

We'll all look for him.
Somebody will find him.

We asked everywhere.

Nobody ever heard of Pork Sauce.

[all] Pork Chop!

Well, if you're all so smart,

what's the capital of North Dakota?

Bismarck!

[honk honk]

[male announcer] Bus now leaving for

Liver City, Dipthong, Bloatsburg.
All aboard!

I can't believe just yesterday

Pork Chop was here with us, having fun.

No, he wasn't. Mr. Swirly said no dogs,

so you tied him up outside.

That's it! Someone must've
done something bad to him

when he was outside.

Hold it. I tied him up outside?

Why not? He's just a dog.

[echoing] Just a dog. Just a dog.

Just a dog. Just a dog.

Oh, no! Oh, man, now I know
who treated him bad.

[all] Who?

Me. I treated my dog like a dog.

Yeah. So?

Pork Chop's not just a dog!

How would I feel
if I put myself in his place?

Hey, Pork Chop!

Hi, Skeet. Come on, Doug.

This is a three-legged race,
not a five-legged race.

You're just a dog.

Phoo. Phoo. Phoo.

Aw, man. Aw.

[kids] Whoo! Ha ha! Whoo!

You're too small.

This is ride for people, not dogs.

Hmm. No dogs allowed.

Well, why don't you take Doug home?
We'll wait.

I don't want to go all the way home.

I'll just tie him to this tree like a dog.

[Doug] Oh, not the tree.

Now let's go have fun.

Hey! Hey, guys! Let me in.

Come on, what about me?

He got left out of all the fun,

and I didn't even realize it.

Boy, being treated
like a dog sounds tough.

What? Dogs have it made.

I love it when they scratch
their ear with their foot.

He's gone, probably forever.

I'll never even be able to apologize.

Maybe you'll see him.

How? He's not gonna just
show up on a street corner.

Uh, hey, Doug,

isn't that your dog on the street corner?

Pork Chop!

Pork Chop, where are you going?

I didn't realize how different
things looked to other people.

[ruff]

Hmph.

Come on, kid. You're holding up the line.

I tried to see it from your point of view.

Just say goodbye!

No! Pork Chop, I'm sorry.

I treated you like a dog.

What's it gonna be, dog?

[ruff ruff]

Whoa.

Yes, okay. Good boy.

[Doug] I definitely learned two things.

Everybody sees things in different ways,

so you gotta watch
how what you do makes somebody else feel.

And never delay a bus
by talking to your dog.

It makes the driver really mad.

And besides, it throws
the bus off schedule.

Ha ha. Hey, cut it out, Pork Chop.

I'm gonna fall. Whoa!

♪ It's my head ♪

♪ If I kept my face on my knee ♪

Pork Chop's home, all right.

♪ If I kept my face on my foot ♪

♪ I'd stomp it... ♪

[closing theme music playing]