01x08 - Episode 8

[bunniefuu]

[biscuit crunches]

[dogs barking in distance]

[tinfoil crinkles]

- Meryem!
- For the love of God!

[laughs] Calm down. You look
like you're about to have a heart att*ck.

Ruhiye?

Is Esma here?

Ruhiye, where did you go?

I'm back, Meryem.

I should really get Ismail
something to eat.

He's starving. Is there anything?

Almost forgot.

I got something for you, Meryem.

Something for me?

Mm. Open it.

I know that you like embroidered things.

That's thoughtful.

Can I ask you where you were, Ruhiye?

[clattering]

She just walked out.

Walked out of the room
without saying a word.

She's so crazy.

Look, I'm not saying she's not

a kind and loving and caring person.

But normal she's not.

I wish she was. But she's not.

I mean, think of the last couple years...

Forget how hard it's been on me or Yasin.

Or herself, even. Think of the children.

I mean, what was she doing taking Ismail?

[tuts]

To the middle of nowhere. A small child.

Who would do that?

You said she's doing better, I thought.

Oh, much better.

I don't know what she did in that village,
but she came back a different person.

Totally different.

Used to be you could
yell and yell at her...

and still get nothing.

Now, she'll talk to you.
And she's even helpful.

She's better with Yasin
and with the children.

And Ismail's talking.
He's talking up a storm.

Turns out the little rascal
could talk all along.

It sounds to me
like this trip of hers was a good thing.

Good for her and the children.

Good for the whole family.

[sighs softly]

It was a very brave thing she did
if you think about it.

I guess, but I wouldn't call it brave.
I think I would call it crazy.

Do you think every act of courage
shows insanity, Meryem?

Is someone showing courage when they
don't know what they're doing, really?

I wouldn't call that brave, I don't think.

Foolhardy, that's a better word.

Meryem, we all have some
emotions we suppress.

Feelings we don't share with anyone,
sometimes not even ourselves.

We keep them bottled up.

And of course this goes for all of us.

But, when we do...

some fairly...

serious health problems can come up.

These feelings we suppress...

I think there's a saying.

Water will always find
a cr*ck in the rock.

It will always find
a way to sneak through.

Our emotions are
like the water sneaking through...

Is that really a saying?

Something like that.
Or close to it at least.

Makes sense.

I was just using a metaphor.

Oh, I got what you meant.

Of course you did.

Anyway. Sorry, you were saying?

[melancholy flute music playing]

[Peri] During certain periods
in our lives, Meryem,

we can feel stuck, emotionally.

We have feelings that
we might not know how to express.

It happens to everyone.

All of us repress our emotions
at some point in our lives.

It's as if we've stuffed
all our feelings into a cage

and we're afraid of letting them out.

And a great restlessness
starts to build inside us.

It affects our relationships with others.

And it affects our health, too.

Emotions are necessary
and beneficial, Meryem.

We need to let ourselves feel.

- Experience all our emotions.
- [banging on window]

[car horns honking]

They're the bridges
that connect you, me, all of us

to finding out who we really are

and to understanding, finally,
what it is we want.

It's beautiful, the way you put it.

When we repress our feelings,
they can become... a huge burden.

A burden that, at certain times,
gets too heavy for us to carry alone.

When that happens,

it can negatively affect our health
in some unexpected ways.

My fainting spells.

You ever heard
of some scientist named Jung?

- Say it again. One more time.
- [Ismail laughing] Papa.

- One more.
- Papa.

- One more time.
- Papa.

- One more.
- Papa.

- Papa.
- Listen to you!

My big boy.

- Stop, it tickles!
- Oh!

I haven't even begun
to show you what tickling is.

- [Ismail laughing]
- You want tickling? Do you?

[sighs]

[panting]

Thanks.

Ismail.

Get off him.
Here, go see what your sister's up to.

- [Yasin groans]
- Okay?

Go!

Are you hurt? You should be careful.
He's heavier than he was.

[out of breath] I'm fine.
Hardly broke a sweat.

[sighs]

So, they were never able
to find that girl?

The police?

They're working on it.
They'll find her sooner or later.

I'm sure they will.

I wanted to ask you something.

Go ahead, then.

But you can't get mad.

Why? You think that I might?

Okay.

So ask me.

So...

Why did you say he d*ed?

When you came back from the village...

after selling the land...

you said...

that he was dead.

Are you mad?

I lied.

So you could stop thinking about it.

Just so I wouldn't be sad?

You saw him, then. Huh?

Is this when I start to get mad, Ruhiye?

You took me even as I was, Yasin.

You knew about my situation.

That night that I first told you.

Remember what you said?

On the balcony at my aunt's house?

You were having a cigarette
and we were all alone.

And you said you'd marry me anyway.

Then you asked me if I wanted a cigarette.

I told you that I don't smoke a lot.

And you said I don't either normally,
you know, except for...

...except for when I'm nervous.

So, you remember.

I thought I'd die when I told you.
I was so scared.

[inhales shakily] And then...

The look you gave me...

I'll never forget that look...

long as I live.

When you used to go away...

When you and Mustafa
would go off with your stand

to Antep and places like that,
to the fairs.

You remember how it was.

Before we had Ismail or Esma.

Whenever I missed you,
I'd think of that look...

And those words you said...

"All that matters is your heart is pure."

[sobs] "What happened to you
didn't happen to your heart

and it's your heart I'm in love with."

- Okay. Why are you crying? Why's that sad?
- No, I'm not crying because I'm sad.

Don't do that.
There's nothing to cry about.

You've got such pretty eyes.
Why do you want to do that?

Am I crying?

[Ruhiye sighs]

I'll cry too if there's something
worth crying about.

Did I cry when I lost everything?

When the business went south?

When my wife lost her mind?

I'll cry with you
if it's worth crying about.

Don't we deserve a little peace
in this short life we've got?

My dad used to say,
"You find peace in the grave."

Well f*ck this life if he's right.

So, if there's something
worth crying about, tell me what it is.

Those tears in your eyes,
they're breaking my heart, Ruhiye.

So that's enough. No more tears, okay?

We have two beautiful children,
healthy and happy, thank God.

And our son is talking.

And my job...
It's not ideal but it pays well.

It's not forever. I'm not going
to be a bouncer for the rest of my life.

When the timing's right...

I'll open a workshop.

With my dad's old sign
hanging above the door.

It will be great, Ruhiye.

- Meryem will find a husband, God willing.
- God willing.

So, what's there to cry about, huh?

- Right.
- Okay? What's there to cry about?

Nothing, as long as
you're by my side, Yasin.

Where else have I been... for seven years?

Back on that balcony, I made my decision.

I wiped your tears, put out my cigarette
and we exchanged vows and ever since then

I've been right here.

You're the one
who's been shutting yourself off,

keeping the rest of the family out. [tuts]

You've been stuck in your head.

Don't you think
it's time you came out, Ruhiye?

Really, think of us here, the children,
and you most of all, Ruhiye.

Please, sweetie. No more crying, okay?

[Yasin sniffs and sighs]

[Ruhiye sniffs]

You want a back rub?

- Are you kidding?
- No.

Here.

Here.

[sweeping orchestral music playing]

[orchestral music crescendos]

- Good?
- Thanks a lot.

You're welcome.

Sorry, just one more?

All right.

Thank you.

- Sure.
- [music fades]

Well, then?

I just wondered how you were.

I couldn't believe you called me.

Why is that?

Because

the last time we did this,
it didn't end that well.

No, I wouldn't say that.

- How's that girl?
- Girl?

You know, your patient...

Ah, Meryem.

Her name's Meryem, huh? You never said.

Wasn't she bringing in food she'd made?

I shouldn't have mentioned her name.

I shouldn't be talking
about a patient at all.

You know what, f*ck all that.

It's always when I'm doing
what I'm supposed to

that I make my biggest mistakes.

"Don't do that. Don't say that.
Don't be rude, blah..."

I say to hell with all that.

If you've connected with her, then great.
You got what you wanted.

Who cares about the rest?

We connected.

I was a little slow off the mark,
but we did.

[chuckles]

Thanks, by the way, for what you said.

You know, the other night.

Frankly, I was a little scared
to call you.

- Why?
- I didn't know how you would react.

What are you talking about?
Don't be crazy.

So, how are you doing, anyway?

Mm. Just waiting to be done.

They're only going to sh**t
two more episodes.

- Then I'm gone.
- To where?

Maybe a hotel in the mountains.

Somewhere I can just chill out.

[inhales] Or maybe Kaş.
I haven't really decided.

All by yourself?

I hope.

That's the problem with Kaş, though,
too many people.

There's a friend
in Gümüşlük I could visit.

Well, more than a friend.
This guy... [chuckles]

I'll figure it out. [sighs]

Once the show's over with.

The craziest thing is
it should have been a hit,

that's why I agreed to do it.

I thought this show
is such a piece of sh*t

it will run forever
and I'll make some money, but no.

The ratings tanked.

So not fair.

[jazz music playing softly on stereo]

- Hello? You there?
- Oh, I'm sorry.

[chuckles] You asked, so I told you.

Right. Well, I finally did watch
your show, by the way.

- Mm. Did you?
- It's a...

It's a little, like you said...

But you were good. I mean it.

I was really impressed. And so was
everyone I've talked to about it.

I told you - the worse the show,
the more people like it.

No, not the show, you.

I mean, you can really act.

You're good. People love you.

Seriously, when I tell them I know you,
they think I'm cool.

Yeah, I'm sure.

No, really. I mean it.

[laughs]

It's true. [laughs]

[sweeping orchestral music playing]

[music stops]

[sobs quietly]

[orchestral music resumes]

[sniffs]

[sobs louder]

[music fades]

[swallows]

Some more tea, Papa?

No, I'm fine thanks.

You ready?

Bags all packed and ready?

I'm ready.

Good.

What time does your bus leave, again?

It leaves at 11.
There's still plenty of time.

All right.

All right.

[sniffs]

All right, then.

Now, don't forget...

I will call you as soon as I get there.

Don't forget, okay?

All right.

All right, then.

[sighs loudly]

[door opening]

[sighs]

Hayrunnisa, are you ready?

Dear, the bus isn't gonna wait for us.

If we get there too late,
it will leave without you.

- [birds singing]
- [dog barking in distance]

Daughter, what are you doing?
Go get ready, come on.

I'm ready, Papa.

I think you're forgetting something,
aren't you? We're leaving the house.

Yes, I know and I'm ready, Papa.

[melancholic orchestral music playing]

[music crescendos]

KONYA YOUTH TOURISM

[music fades]

Where's the Hodja?

Meryem.

How are you?

Fine, thank you.

The Hodja's gone.

He is?

Closed up his house.

He left me the key, though,
if anything comes up, you know.

I asked the Hodja when he was coming back.

Yeah?

Well, it was sort of weird.

All he said was "Peace be with you,"
and he left.

- Really? The Hodja?
- The Hodja.

- He left?
- He left, yeah.

This morning.

God willing, he'll be all right.

Could... I help you?

No, I was just asking.

Sorry about the other day, Meryem.

What day?

When we were walking.

Oh, that day.

The way I went on and on
about how you get from here to there.

On the bus. You were on your way
to catch a bus, remember?

And I was just going on and on,
talking your head off.

I do that sometimes. I'm sorry.

You're sure an expert on bus routes,
I'll give you that.

Yeah, I guess.

I was so mad at myself.

Instead of giving you a gift
and leaving it at that,

I stood there talking your head off.

Sometimes, whatever's in my head
just comes pouring out.

I'm glad you brought that up.

Are you?

As to that gift that you gave me...

Ah, Meryem,

if I made you uncomfortable
or offended you in any way, I...

- It's not that.
- I didn't mean anything, honest.

Please, believe me.
I would never want to do anything...

Oh, no. No, Meryem.

Please don't give it back.
I'm so sorry, I never meant to...

Here.

A gift for you.

Suddenly, he's speechless.

[birds singing]

[water gurgling]

[ducks quacking]

[Kn*fe sharpening]

[engine revving]

[music playing on car stereo]

Selamun alaykum.

Alaykum selam.

I'm trying to find the park entrance.

You missed it. It's further up.

I knew I must have gotten
turned around somehow.

You should have taken the gravel road
back up at the top.

Ah. Is there another way
to get there from here?

Not really. Just go back
and you'll see a sign at the turn off.

Okay.

Well, thanks. Enjoy your meal.

Would you care to join me?
I have more than enough to share.

No, I already ate. But thank you.

There's fresh tea. Would you some tea?

Well, that I wouldn't mind.

I forgot to bring anything to drink
with me and it's been a long drive.

Good. Come on. Just park it there.

You take sugar with it?

No.

That's a nice van you've got.

I got that from Germany, in 1992.

I take better care of it than I do myself.

Very nice.

- You like it strong?
- Just normal is fine.

- Oh, I don't smoke, thank you.
- That's fine. Then I won't either.

I never have.

You're smart not to.

My kids keep going on and on
about how I should quit.

But what can you do?

You have any kids yourself?

- One daughter.
- Lucky man.

Yes, I feel very fortunate.

She's studying economics.
I have a picture somewhere.

- Mm.
- My wife and her together.

Lovely.

My wife d*ed about this time last year.

Oh, my sympathies.

Thank you.

Bless you and your daughter.

I lost my first wife ten years ago.

There was a problem with her veins,
so she had an operation...

but after they'd fixed that problem,

right in the middle of the operation,

she d*ed of an embolism.

Grant her peace.

Your daughter has her mother's eyes.

Oh, the eyes...

Yes.

It was the doctor who gave us the idea.

My wife, you see...

She wasn't able to get pregnant.

So, we... we had to adopt our daughter.

The doctor had told my wife,
"Since you have blue eyes,

it would make things easier
if you choose blue-eyed child."

"That way, no-one has to know and
the child won't suspect anything, either."

How old is she now?

She'll be 23 in March.

Does your daughter know?

No, she doesn't.

When she turned 18,

her mother and I discussed
whether or not it was time to tell her.

But I didn't want to hurt her.

Or lose her.

So we let things stay as they were.

She may have been adopted, but...

it didn't matter to us.

I...

You know, I think I love her more
than if she were my own blood.

[melancholic organ music playing]

[sighs]

[elevator dings]

[jazz music playing over speakers]

[elevator dings]

[shower running]

[gasps]

[breathes raggedly]

[door slams]

Meryem?

Meryem.

Meryem!

Meryem?

Meryem.

[panting]

[sighs]

[fierce wind blowing]

[breathes raggedly]

[fanfare sounds]