♪ Oh, my darling, oh my darling ♪
♪ Oh, my darling Clementine ♪
♪ You are lost and gone forever... ♪
Daddy, please give me the strength
to finish this f*cking book.
♪ Drove she ducklings to the water ♪
♪ Every morning just at 9:00 ♪
♪ Stubbed her foot... ♪
[GIA] I just want to
make you proud, Mama.
That's it.
♪ Oh, my darling, oh, my darling... ♪
I know, I know, I know. I have no money.
♪ You are lost and gone forever ♪
[INHALES DEEPLY] I'm
just asking for a sign.
♪ Dreadful sorry ♪
♪ Clementine ♪
- [SMOOCHING]
- [MOANING]
[GIA] I just want you to know that...
I don't normally...
I don't do one-night stands.
[PATRICK] Well, good thing it's daytime.
[BOTH MOANING]
♪
[CHEERFUL FOLK MUSIC]
[MOANS]
- Open your mouth.
- What?
Open your mouth.
Oh, my God!
[MOANING]
[BOTH PANTING]
[DOOR CLOSES]
Oh, God.
[LAUGHS]
[EXHALES]
- [LIVELY CHATTER]
- [LOUD ELECTRONIC MUSIC]
Yay, you wrote this, Gia Lombardi.
- Wow.
- Oh, my God.
That's pretty f*cking cool.
That's so f*cking cool!
But you're not, like, in love
- with the movie star, right?
- No, God, gross.
Sure, okay.
- Shut up.
- Yeah, great, no.
Damn it. Thank you.
What am I doing? I should
be shopping at Kmart.
Okay, I will be at the bar.
- sh*ts?
- Yeah.
[RODY] Gia!
Hey.
Look at this.
- Hi. I know.
- Congratulations.
- Thank you.
- Mwah.
- Did you get my messages?
- Uh, yeah, sorry.
I just, I knew I was
gonna see you here, so...
Um, what'd they say?
We'll talk about it tomorrow.
What's wrong? What...
Tomorrow.
f*ck, Rody, what?
They're not happy.
They're... What do you, what
do you mean they're not happy?
It's 200,000 words on a p*rn
castle and swinger's clubs.
What-what exactly did they say?
That it's a bit... boring.
Oh, uh, I have some good news.
Gay Talese has, uh, has
agreed to mentor you.
A mentor? I don't need a mentor.
You're starting from scratch, Gia.
"Scratch"?
You wanted to update Thy
Neighbor's Wife, right?
No, no, no. The last
section of that book
is him literally talking about
himself in the third person.
I mean, for f*ck's sake, that's the
kind of sh*t only a man would do.
Well, then you do that, too.
You can write like a man, Gia.
I don't want to write like a
man. I want to write like me.
- [LIVELY CHATTER]
- [WHOOPING]
Oh, look at that.
- Hey, you.
- Hey.
Hi.
- Congratulations.
- Mm, thank you so much.
- God, you look incredible.
- Thank you.
- You look great, too.
- Thanks. Anya?
Hey, this is Gia Lombardi.
Oh, my God, Gia.
- Hi.
- You captured this man perfectly.
[PATRICK] Nobody has
condensed me so well.
Best writer I've...
worked with, really.
[GIA LAUGHS]
[WOMAN] Patrick, we need you over here.
Okay. Hey, lock her down, Roddy.
- Before she gets too famous for you.
- I will do that.
Rody is on it.
- [PHONE BUZZES]
- [RODY] Uh, hold that thought.
I will be right back, be right back. Hi.
Yeah.
- [INDISTINCT CHATTER]
- [MUSIC PLAYING QUIETLY]
♪
Uh, listen, one more thing?
Oh, okay, there's more.
I just want to remind
you that Elizabeth Wurtzel
sold millions of books, right?
Millions, and Penguin
is still gonna sue her
for being late on the latest one.
- Well, f*ck Penguin, then.
- No, that's... that's not the point.
This is big business, Gia.
This is not Golf magazine.
FSG just bought another sex book, too.
And it is making them very anxious.
If that one beats you to market
with a three-year head start?
What?
What, what?
Gia, what you turned in was not good.
So go see Gay.
Figure it out.
- This is your last chance.
- Mm-hmm.
[RODY] All right.
[SOMBER MUSIC]
♪
Well, what do you want me to say?
[SIGHS]
It's a little, um...
I don't know the word in English.
Boring?
Yeah.
Boring.
[GIA] Mothers.
She wasn't a bad mom.
She was actually a great mom.
I really think what I wrote was just...
boring.
[TALESE] You need to f*ck people.
A lot of people, married people.
Married people hold the
key to sex in America.
Why do you even want to
write a book, fame? Money?
- No.
- Your-your dead parents?
Uh, yeah.
- Yes? Your dead parents are the reason?
- Well, no,
no, I mean, they didn't
think I could do it,
you know, and I wanted to prove
to them that I can make money
- doing it...
- Oh, I see.
What? What, what do you see?
- [SMACKS LIPS]
- [EXHALES]
You should drive, too.
- What?
- When you're f*cking the men. You should drive.
Airports don't have a lot to
offer in terms of the culture.
I understand that you
don't have a lot of time,
so you have to travel
slow in order to work fast.
And you should f*ck the
women, too, for Christ's sake.
I'm not f*cking anyone to write a book.
[SIGHS] The work.
The work is the only thing that matters.
Oh, you think I don't know that?
Oh, you're emotional.
We'll discuss this more at dinner.
Oh, well, I'm not staying for dinner.
You-you don't have to leave.
The guest room is made up and, um...
Gay Talese is inviting you to stay.
Well...
Gay Talese...
[LAUGHS]
[PUTS GLASS DOWN]
I won't touch you, if that's
what you're worried about.
[EXHALES QUIETLY]
[EXHALES]
[QUIET, EXPANSIVE MUSIC]
♪
f*ck you, New York!
f*ck you!
f*ck, g*dd*mn it.
[EXHALES]
g*dd*mn it.
Oh, really?
♪
[INDISTINCT CHATTER OUTSIDE]
- [LOUD MUSIC PLAYING]
- [INDISTINCT CHATTER]
- How we doing? We still working?
- [CLEARS THROAT]
- No, I'm good.
- You sure?
- Yeah, thank you.
- Got it, okay.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
♪
[WOMAN MOANING ON VIDEO]
[MAN] Oh, that's it.
- Oh, Dad, Mom!
- Oh, my God.
- I'm sorry, sorry.
- No, no.
Do not apologize, do not apologize.
I told them do not record something
that they didn't want
the whole world to see.
Oh.
Hey, bud, can I, uh...
can I get a glass, please?
- Here you go.
- Appreciate you.
Oh, sh... uh...
I'll pay you back.
I'll pay you back for that.
[CLEARS THROAT] But we can, uh...
toast, just...
- To my parents.
- [LAUGHS]
And all their sexual endeavors.
[GLASSES CLANK]
So where'd you get this sch-schtick?
Drinking nice wine?
That's a statement bottle.
I'm celebrating.
Oh, what, like, uh...
an engagement or... ?
Do you prefer to be wrong
or annoying? Just curious.
It's more of a numbers game, really.
It's like, uh, you know,
if I get half of them right,
then you'll think I'm really
smart, but if I get, like, zero,
then, uh, it's kind of funnier
- the more I get wrong.
- So it's an-an act?
Yes.
A balancing act, yes.
Oh, God, you're a f*cking actor.
[CLEARS THROAT]
Pardon me, but I noticed
what you were eating earlier.
Uh, what pays enough for solo tartare?
Don't, uh, nope, let me
pad my assumptions. Um...
Lawyer?
Uh, commercial real estate?
No, you're really bad at this.
My parents are p*rn
stars. What'd you expect?
[LAUGHS]
I work for Esquire magazine.
- Publicist. sh*t.
- No.
Man, it was the
independence that threw me.
- No.
- f*ck it, all right, okay.
Accounts payable?
You know, I've-I've honestly had
enough misogyny for one evening, so...
Uh, yeah, no, no, no.
No misogyny, I got it.
Editor.
- Done. Won it.
- Hmm-mm.
- There's literally nothing else.
- A writer!
- Oh.
- Mm-hmm.
- That's cool.
- Yeah. You're surprised.
Well, I always knew you were smart.
'Cause I'm...
attractive.
- Yes.
- [CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
- So now...
- Mm-hmm?
... you're a writer for Esquire...
and you're writing p*rn.
Writing about por...
You're writing for p*rn?
No, I...
I am traveling the country
f*cking married men.
- Married?
- Mm-hmm.
Why married?
Because I am boring.
And f*cking married
men isn't... apparently.
- I'm not married.
- Then I'm not f*cking you.
Well, that's f*cking boring, isn't it?
I told you.
That's it, huh?
That's it.
Makes sense.
Well, then...
have a good one.
[CLEARS THROAT]
[LAUGHS]
[SNORTS]
Hey, uh, Bri, can I
get the check, please?
Actually... Slick put it on his tab.
[GIA] Like, the whole thing?
Well, uh...
Thanks, but, um...
no thanks.
- [LAUGHTER]
- [CLAMORING]
Oh, my God!
[JACK] Hey!
Hey, wait up!
Where'd you learn that
move, huh, book for virgins?
You know, most women in America
appreciate a little chivalry.
Yeah, well, this isn't
America. This is New York.
You seemed like you
wanted to be left alone.
I did. I did want to be left alone.
See, I knew it.
Okay, well, that's not the point.
The point is that I-I, you...
you made a move to destabilize me.
I don't really think
in terms of strategy.
That's why I chased you down the street.
So then why did you, then?
I don't know.
Oh, uh... to give you my number.
You know, so you can take me out
to dinner before I go back to L.A.,
if you're up for it.
I'll be married by then, I promise.
[CHUCKLES]
Call me.
m*therf*cker!
["INSIDER" BY TOM PETTY
AND THE HEARTBREAKERS]
♪
♪ You've got a dangerous background ♪
♪ And everything you've dreamed of ♪
♪ Yeah, you're the dark angel ♪
♪ It don't show when you break up ♪
♪ And I'm the one who ought to know ♪
♪ Yeah, I'm the one you left to rust ♪
♪ Not one of your twisted friends ♪
♪ I'm the one you couldn't love ♪
♪ I'm an insider ♪
_
♪ I've been b*rned by the fire ♪
♪ Oh, and I've had to live... ♪
[GIA SCOFFS]
[GIA] That article's,
like, ten years old.
I know.
I read all your sh*t.
- Oh, my God.
- And your dad calls you Clementine.
Like the song.
- Is that it?
- Oh, yeah, there she is.
[JACK] sh*t, man. You're
really gonna eat the road.
- [GIA] "Eat the road"?
- Yeah.
It's, uh, it's what my
dad calls road trips.
You know, like, uh,
on those long, boring,
low-energy stretches, and
I'd be, like, falling asleep,
and he'd be like, "Eat
the road, eat the road!"
I have no idea what it means.
Well, I have no f*cking
clue what I'm doing, so...
The f*ck you talking
about? Yeah, you do.
Unless you mean, like, your
sugar daddy can't hang onto
- your place while you're gone...
- Oh, shut up.
I actually think my friend, um, Cara
is going to sublet it for me.
- Oh!
- Which would be really convenient.
[SIGHS] It's good to have friends.
Yeah, it is.
Before my dad d*ed, we, um...
we were gonna go to
a dude ranch and learn
to ride horses and, like, rope steer
and eat, uh, racks of ribs.
- And...
- Yeah.
Yeah, he listened to country music
his whole f*cking life and
he never went to a rodeo.
- That's absurd.
- And there's a sushi restaurant in Whitefish...
- I know it sounds weird, sushi in Montana.
- Yeah.
But I read it in Departures
magazine and, um...
it's just like... it's like a snow globe
with a sushi restaurant
inside of it and there's, like,
cherry blossom lanterns...
and it's just, like, so cute.
Then you got to go.
And you ride them horses
and you eat that sushi in Whitefish.
I will.
Yeah, you will.
Yeah.
Tonight was fun.
Tonight was fun.
It was a fun night.
Subtle.
[SIGHS] Thank you.
[LAUGHS]
You want to go in there?
To have sex?
- No. Move.
- Oh.
Well, then, yes. Yes, of course.
[GIA] All right.
[GIA GRUNTS]
[JACK] Hot damn!
- [MOANING]
- [GRUNTING]
[JACK CHUCKLES]
- Hey.
- Hey. Did you, uh, did you cum?
Uh, no.
- Sorry.
- It's okay.
What?
The condom came off.
What?
Uh, where is it?
Like, how does a condom just come off?
I think...
- I think, I think it's still in you.
- No.
Yeah. Like, when I pulled out.
- Really?
- Yeah, I think so.
- I mean...
- For real?
- Yep.
- f*ck.
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
- f*ck, I can't find it.
- Sorry.
I'm not trying to laugh. It's all right.
I mean, it's not like I have any STDs.
I was literally tested last month.
I mean, the only
questionable thing I've done
in the past couple weeks is, like...
... jerk off without washing my hands
- when I got home from work.
- Oh, my God that is disgusting.
Oh, I know. I've been
thinking about it ever since.
Oh, and I attended an orgy.
- What?
- Just kidding.
- Dude, that's not funny.
- All right, sorry. I know.
I know, sorry. No-no jokes, come on.
Uh, I can, I can get it.
- Oh, my God, I can't f*cking find it.
- I can get it.
What do you mean you can get it?
If you just get doggy style
and I'll, I'll get in there,
I can get the right angle
and I'll take care of it.
- Okay, you ready?
- Yeah, yeah.
All right, go.
Sorry, sorry, sorry, just stay still.
Are you looking up?
Just get it the f*ck out, man!
- Look at my dad, okay?
- I'm looking at your dad.
But you also have two photos
of Joan Didion up here.
Oh, ooh-ooh!
Ah, there it is. Okay, you okay?
- Go! Go, go, go!
- All right. Ready.
Slowly, slow, slow, slowly. [EXCLAIMS]
Oh, my God, thank God.
- Yep, there we go.
- Oh, my God.
f*ck.
Thank you.
- Excuse me.
- All right.
I promise I don't have any STDs.
- Okay.
- You can watch me sleep.
- I sleep very healthy.
- No, no, no, no.
You have to, to go. You
can't stay the night.
- Oh.
- Sorry, but you have, you have to leave.
[GIA] When I was a kid,
my dad stuck himself
with a needle used on
a patient with HIV.
I heard him tell my
mother in the kitchen
while I was hiding in the stairwell.
It was the '80s and it
was a death sentence.
And the scariest thing was that
I couldn't ask them about it,
because I wasn't supposed to know.
My dad didn't get AIDS.
He d*ed in a car accident instead.
Because I hadn't worried
about that one enough.
You know, there weren't that
many people at the orgy. Just...
so...
[GIA] Anyway...
there was something about this man...
this boy...
I knew right away I could
tell him stuff like that.
- [MEN SHOUTING]
- [JACKHAMMER BANGING]
[JACKHAMMER BANGING]
- [GIA] f*ck.
- [MAN] Go around!
Oh.
- _
- Oh, my f*cking God.
_
[LAUGHS]
Oh, yeah.
["TIME OF THE SEASON" BY CHARLIE BYRD]
♪
[CROWD CHEERING]
[GIA] Just call that number
and whatever stories you want to share,
I'm here to listen to
all of them. Thank you.
Have a good one. I appreciate your time.
Yeah, I'm-I'm not surprised
you're having a hard time
'cause, this-this sign sucks.
- [LINE BEEPS]
- [MAN] Hey, you dirty bitch,
I got a sex study for
you right here, huh?
[WOMAN] Is it having sex
or just talking about it?
[MAN 2] You want to talk about dicks?
[WOMAN 2] Does fingering count?
- Jesus.
- I just need people.
Like, real people.
Maize, sweetie, this
is our newest runaway.
What, are you joining
the circus or something?
You're lost.
- [CHEERING]
- [CLAMORING]
[CHILD] Here.
Aw, are those for me?
Thank you.
- More? Thank you.
- [MAN] ♪ O say does that ♪
♪ Star-spangled ♪
♪ Banner yet wave ♪
♪ O'er the land ♪
♪ Of the free ♪
♪ And the home ♪
♪ Of the brave ♪
- Wow.
- [CHEERING]
[WHOOPING]
[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING]
♪
You're really pretty.
Thank you.
I feel like you don't know that.
[GIA] That I'm pretty?
You have to fall for yourself first.
Mm. Mm-hmm.
You have to get up every morning,
look in the mirror,
every morning...
and you got to say,
"Good morning,
you pretty, pretty girl."
[CHUCKLES]
[ROCK COVER OF "OH, MY
DARLING CLEMENTINE"]
♪
♪ You are lost and gone forever ♪
♪ Dreadful sorry, Clementine ♪
♪ You are lost and gone forever ♪
♪ Dreadful sorry, Clementine ♪
[WHOOPING, CHEERING]
[PLAYING JOHN FOGERTY'S
"ROCK AND ROLL GIRLS"]
♪ Sometimes I feel ♪
♪ Life is just a rodeo ♪
♪ The trick is to ride ♪
♪ And make it to the bell ♪
♪ But there is a place,
sweet as you will ever know ♪
♪ In music and love ♪
♪ And things you never tell ♪
♪ You see it in their face ♪
♪ Secrets on the telephone ♪
♪ And time out of time ♪
♪ For you and no one else ♪
♪ Hey, let's go all over the world ♪
♪ Rock and roll girls,
rock and roll girls ♪
♪ Oh, yeah, ah, hey ♪
♪ Let's go all over the world ♪
♪ Rock and roll girls ♪
♪ Rock and roll girls, all right... ♪
- [LINE BEEPS]
- Hey, Gia, it's Jack.
Uh, please pick up your phone
'cause I'd really like to talk to you.
Really need to see you again.
♪
♪ If I had my way ♪
♪ I'd shuffle off to Buffalo ♪
♪ Sit by the lake ♪
♪ And watch the world go by ♪
♪ Ladies in the sun ♪
♪ Listenin' to the radio ♪
♪ Like flowers on the sand ♪
♪ The rainbow in my mind ♪
[RETCHES]
[GROANS]
[EXHALES]
[GRUNTS]
♪ I don't know when ♪
♪ I don't know where ♪
♪ I fell in love with you ♪
♪ In love with you ♪
♪ I don't know how ♪
♪ And I don't know why ♪
♪ Fell in love with you ♪
♪ In love with you... ♪
Can I help you with something?
Yeah, I, uh, I think I have a fever.
[PHARMACIST] Did you
check your temperature?
No. Do you sell thermometers?
We're out.
But I can check it for you.
Uh, yeah, that'd be great, thank you.
Oh.
♪ You let me in... ♪
Ooh! Yikes. [CHUCKLES]
- Sorry.
- Oh...
Thermometer?
Oh, yeah.
♪ That's the price you pay ♪
Ah. Aha.
Mm.
[THERMOMETER BEEPS]
Nope. 98.6.
- Huh?
- You're right on the money.
So weird.
Well, what are you feeling?
Um, I don't know,
just, my chest is sore,
I've got, like, a hot thing going on.
And you know when
your mouth gets like...
saliva-y, 'cause you feel
like you're gonna puke?
Your chest is sore or, like...
your breasts?
I guess my breasts,
but, like, same thing?
Any chance you could be pregnant?
- Pregnant? No. God, no.
- [GLADYS] Delivery!
- Thanks, Gladys.
- [GLADYS] Here you go.
Have a good one.
No, there's no way. I...
The last time I had
sex, the condom fell off,
but I took a Plan B, so there's...
All I know is, every
time I get pregnant,
sore boobies tipped me off.
How many times is that?
Four.
That's impressive.
No. Five.
[LAUGHS] Five.
[CHUCKLES]
[BIRD SCREECHING]
[GIA SIGHS]
[QUIETLY] Oh, just look
at the f*cking test.
[WIND BLOWING]
[CONTEMPLATIVE MUSIC]
♪
[EXHALES]
♪
[BREATHING DEEPLY]
[RINGTONE PLAYING]
Hello?
[KIM] Uh. Hi.
My friend gave me this number.
- You're looking for stories?
- Yeah.
A friend of mine texted
me a picture of your sign.
Said you're looking for
people in love triangles.
Yeah, I am, um...
I've got kind of a f*cked-up story.
Well, I dig f*cked up.
- What's your name?
- Kim.
No way, that's my
mother's name. How crazy.
Really? That's like, that's
like, kind of kismet.
- Uh-huh.
- So I, um,
I'm sort of having an
affair with my step-dad.
Oh.
Oh, when did it start?
Oh. f*ck. I was, like, 16.
- [GIA] Uh-huh.
- [KIM] I mean, that's when we fell in love.
But, like, nothing
happened until, um...
He told me he wanted
to wait until I was 18.
Okay. Um...
Uh, how old are you now?
Twenty-one.
Twenty-one. Wow. It's been
going on this whole time?
Kim? [SNIFFLES]
[KIM] Oh, sorry. I-I thought
I heard my mom come in.
Oh. [CHUCKLES, EXHALES]
[KIM] Um, yeah. The
whole time. It's been...
I know this is gross.
- No, God, it's not gross at all.
- It's just...
what we have is beautiful.
Well, look, I would love
to hear the whole story.
[KIM] Is there any way
we can do it in person?
Yeah, of course. [CHUCKLES] Absolutely.
Where-where exactly are you?
- So, I'm in...
- [STATIC]
[STATIC, BEEPING]
Kim?
Kim?
Hello?
f*ck.
Kim? Hey, can you hear me?
Hello?
Kim?
- I'm in... I'm in... [SIGHS]
- [CALL BEEPS OFF]
f*ck!
f*ck.
- ♪ What are you saying? ♪
- [SIGHS]
♪ Do you think there's
only one thing to do? ♪
♪ Is write a song about you now ♪
♪ Could make sense for
other people, too ♪
♪ Why are you leaving? ♪
[RECORDED] This is Rody. Leave a message
and I'll get back to
you as soon as I can.
- [BEEP]
- Hey, it's Gia.
Look, I wanted to talk to you about...
about maybe getting more money.
♪ Mountains, mountains ♪
- ♪ And mountains and mountains ♪
- [CHILDREN LAUGHING]
- [SQUEALING]
- ♪ And mountains and mountains ♪
♪ And mountains ♪
♪ Since we met ♪
♪ We met, we met ♪
♪ We met, we met, we met ♪
♪ We met ♪
- ♪ There's... ♪
- [PHONE RINGS]
[GIA] Hello? Kim?
Yes. Hi.
I'm starting to feel
stupid for calling you.
Honestly, I'm just... feeling lonely.
[GIA] You know, I am honestly
feeling pretty lonely, too.
[KIM] It's... getting really dark.
Sometimes I feel... like...
- ♪ Song about you... ♪
- [KIM] I don't want to go on.
[GIA] Wait, wait, hold on, Kim.
Do not do anything to hurt yourself.
♪ And mountains ♪
- ♪ And mountains... ♪
- [KIM] I just...
don't think that I can keep...
[GIA] Yeah, you can.
I've been where you
are. Just wait, okay?
I'm coming to you.
- [HENRY] Darling, you out there?
- [KIM] Okay.
[GIA] Promise me.
- [HENRY] There she is.
- [KIM] Yes.
- Doctor.
- Babe.
- [CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
- [KIM] I promise.
♪ We met ♪
[LINA] Okay, he hasn't
touched me in three months.
It'll be three months in
- [WOMAN] Oh, awful.
- [LINA] I'll tell y'all this though...
that SOB has 17 days left
to touch me or I am leaving.
- [KAREN] Yes.
- On the nose?
It's been too long already.
- On the nose.
- Bless you.
- 17 days and I'm done.
- Bless you.
- [KAREN] Done.
- [BARBARA] Yeah. Good.
Good. Good.
- [INDISTINCT CHATTER]
- Gia? Gia?
So, um, the other thing about Jeff
is he loves it when I
put my finger in his butt.
- Oh. Oh, okay.
- Do you think that means
- he's a little gay?
- No, no, no, you're fine.
- Are you sure?
- You're totally... I promise.
- Yeah, you're good. Don't worry.
- 'Cause I just...
- It's normal.
- Okay.
- Yeah.
- [ENGINE STARTS]
- sh*t.
- [CAR DOOR SHUTS]
[INSECTS TRILLING]
- [SIGHS]
- [PHONE CHIMES]
_
[PHONE RINGING]
[GIA] Kim?
I... That's, that's so wild.
I was actually just about to call you.
It's happening! I'm
getting my ducks in a row
- and I am coming to see you.
- [SHUTTER SOUND EFFECT]
[KIM] Oh, my God! Thank you.
That makes me really happy.
- Hey. Scuse me.
- Hey. How are ya?
Good, thanks. Um, I need to sell a van.
[KIM] Can't wait for
you to see Whitefish.
[GIA] I still can't effing
believe you live in Whitefish.
[BIRDS SINGING]
[KIM] Where should we meet?
Do you know that sushi spot in town?
- Wasabi?
- Yeah.
Oh, yeah. f*ck yeah. Be there in five.
Oh, perfect! Okay, great. See you soon.
[COUNTRY SONG PLAYING]
♪
♪ I been searching for something... ♪
Drink for you.
- Thank you so much.
- Mm-hmm.
Oh, I am so sorry. I
c... I'm-I'm pregnant.
- I can't even drink this. Um...
- Congrats.
Thank you. Uh, can I get
maybe, like, a green tea or something?
- Yes, of course.
- Thanks.
Um, and this, too.
[SIGHS]
♪ Spent a lifetime searching for it... ♪
[ENTRY BELLS JINGLE]
[DOOR OPENS, CLOSES]
[FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING]
[JACK] [SIGHS] You know, I had a whole,
like, a whole speech planned.
And now I don't know what to even think.
[STAMMERS] The f*ck are you doing here?
You know...
O-Oh, my God. You're Kim.
- No, Kim's...
- You are f*cking Kim.
- I can see you're gonna get mad.
- Oh, my... oh, my God.
Oh, my God, dude.
- What the f*ck?
- [STAMMERS]
- What the actual f*ck?
- Well, hold on.
Hold on. Look, relax. Just...
- Can you just give me...
- No, I'm not gonna rela...
I sold my f*cking RV
so that I could come and,
like, get a plane ticket
- to meet her here ASAP!
- I understand. I'm sorry!
But you wouldn't call me back. Was I...
There's a reason for that!
What the f*ck?!
- Look, just give me a minute here. Stop.
- God, you're such a creep.
- Just... Stop it!
- Oh, my God, you're a sociopath!
- Come on! Ow!
- Get off of me!
Let me explain something to you.
Ow!
- Whew! Ow.
- Get off of me.
- Look, you're the one!
- [GROANS]
- Hey.
- Hi.
- Is everything okay?
- Yeah, she's good.
Stop.
[SIGHS]
[EXHALES]
- No. Stop.
- [GROANS]
What the f*ck, man?
Dude.
Like, this is so uncool.
[SIGHS]
- What are you doing?
- I'm f*cking hungry!
[SIGHS]
♪ Let me burn at the stake... ♪
We're all right. [CLEARS THROAT]
♪
No! No!
♪ sh**t me down and leave me here ♪
♪
♪ Let me burn at the stake ♪
♪
You know... [SIGHS]
You're just...
- ♪ Lay me in the ground ♪
- [CHUCKLING]
You're f*cking nuts, you know that?
- Mm.
- Nuts. Nutso.
- Cuckoo. Crazy. [WHISTLES]
- Yeah, I'm nuts.
- I'm f*cking nuts.
- Yeah.
My entire f*cking life is this book.
Everything. And you have me
running around the country
chasing imaginary people?
And then you say I'm nuts?
Doesn't some part of you
just, you know, think,
- "Wow, this guy must really like me"?
- No.
- No.
- [JACK] Well, that was the f*cking intention.
- Kim thought it was super romantic.
- Oh. Well...
f*ck Kim.
- You know, f*ck you and f*ck Kim.
- [WOMAN] Gosh.
[GIA] Yeah.
I am nuts.
Can I help you?
Would you like to join the conversation?
- [MAN] Uh...
- I am f*cking insane.
And if everything you loved
d*ed before you were, like,
an actual f*cking
adult, you would be, too.
I am someone who literally...
I don't give a f*ck.
I do not give two flying fucks,
and I will never
f*cking apologize to you.
[COUNTRY ROCK SONG PLAYING]
♪ Playin' my guitar... ♪
I didn't hear from you,
and...
I'm-I'm wrong...
... about a lot of things.
But I'm not... I'm not
wrong that this is right.
♪ I've seen you do
everything you do... ♪
Well...
♪ Make it harder on... ♪
[SIGHS]
I don't want the distraction.
Gia, I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry. I'm not trying
to f*ck anything up for you.
- Get up. What...
- [JACK] I am sorry.
Don't ever forgive me.
Just...
Just have sex with me.
I've come all this way.
[CHUCKLING]
♪
♪ Seen you do everything you do ♪
♪ Make it harder on ♪
- [GRUNTING]
- [MOANING]
[JACK] Yeah. Yeah.
- [MOANING, PANTING]
- [JACK] Oh. My God.
[MOANING, PANTING]
[PANTING]
[JACK CHUCKLING]
[PANTING]
- [GRUNTS]
- [CHUCKLES]
- What?
- [LAUGHING]
What?
[LAUGHING] It's just...
- What?
- Nothing.
Just, orgasms, man.
[CHUCKLES]
- What?
- They're just, they're just f*cking ridiculous.
- Like...
- [LAUGHS]
Like, the moment it's over,
I'm like...
what kind of f*cking
psycho am I, really?
- [BOTH LAUGHING]
- What am I?
See, some guy once said, like,
it's like the smell of
ketchup, like, after a burger?
You know, it's like, ew, get
that f*cking sh*t away from me.
[BOTH LAUGH]
Stupid.
[EXHALES]
Mm.
I'm pregnant.
[SCOFFS] Well, sh*t. That was fast.
No, for real.
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
What do you mean?
[LAUGHS]
Uh, that I'm pregnant.
- Like, seriously?
- Yeah, from that night in New York,
with the lost condom.
Oh.
[GIA] Yeah.
[INHALES DEEPLY]
Well...
I don't know what your intentions are.
But if it were...
If it were up to me,
I'd have a baby with you.
- What?
- Like, seriously.
- Oh, my God.
- I'm not kidding, man.
I liked you the moment that I saw you
- watching p*rn in the bar.
- You're insane. You're insane.
A lot.
I knew that I had to
come out here and do
this crazy thing because
I knew that, like, if you...
[SIGHS] If I didn't get to you soon,
you know, that you were gonna
fall in love with some...
[LAUGHS] ... like a carnie
or, like, rodeo clown.
I'm serious.
You know, you make me
want to go to the Baby GAP.
- Oh! [LAUGHING]
- And get baby onesies.
- Shh!
- And wash them with warm water.
- Stop talking.
- And organic detergent.
Mmm.
- [BOTH CHUCKLE]
- [JACK] I know.
Gia, you don't have to be alone anymore.
[INHALES DEEPLY]
Mm...
You can't promise me that.
I just did.
I'm just gonna keep on doing it until...
... you believe it.
[GENTLE MUSIC]
♪
[EXHALES]
[SOFT GROAN]
[HISSES SOFTLY]
[SOFT GROAN]
[BREATHING HEAVILY]
[GRUNTS]
[HEAVY BREATHING]
Ow.
f*ck. [GRUNTS]
[PANTING]
[MOANS]
[GRUNTING]
[SOMBER MUSIC]
♪
[WHIMPERS]
[MUFFLED GRUNT]
[GRUNTING]
[WHIMPERS]
[EXHALING]
f*ck.
[GRUNTING]
[INHALES DEEPLY]
[SOBBING]
[GRUNTING]
f*ck.
[PANTING]
♪
[SOBBING QUIETLY]
[EXHALES]
[PANTING]
[SOBBING]
♪
♪
[BIRDS SINGING]
[JOHN FOGERTY'S "ROCK
AND ROLL GIRLS" PLAYING]
- ♪
- [INDISTINCT CHATTER]
Hey, how's that group thing going?
Um...
It's good actually, really good.
I think I found my first subject.
- For the book. Yeah.
- Oh, that's great news.
- Yeah, who?
- Lina.
Lina?
Yeah, your patient Lina.
My patient? No...
- Are you sure?
- Mm-hmm.
Lina?
♪ Sweet as you will ever know... ♪
[GIA] Because at length,
the lover leaves,
or someone loses interest.
But the tender moments
of anticipation remain.
Like the way Lina can
more easily remember
the beauty of snow falling than
the gray slush that lingers.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
♪ Time out of time... ♪
[GIA] More easily remember
the beauty of snow falling
than the wet end of winter.
[LINA] Gia, thank you for coming.
- [SCREAMS]
- [BOTH LAUGH]
[GEESE HONKING]
- That's impressive.
- [CHUCKLES]
I was pregnant last week.
- You... What now, honey?
- Mm.
Yeah, I lost the baby in a motel room.
I had no idea. I didn't
know you had a partner.
Oh, I don't. No, no. There's...
the dad or whatever.
He was a guy that I liked, but...
it's over, I mean...
it would've been a
total disaster anyway.
It's weird.
[CHUCKLES]
[QUIETLY] Gia?
- Oh, no. I'm-I'm fine. It's like...
- Okay.
Come here.
It's a real thing.
You lost a family member.
And no one could see it,
so no one else thinks
it's real. I know it.
- I know it, I know it. It's okay.
- [SNIFFLES]
I know.
Okay.
- I'm telling you, it's this place.
- [BOTH CHUCKLE]
I'm sorry, I haven't really...
- you know...
- Yeah.
- Sorry.
- No, don't be sorry.
Are, are you kidding?
I-I didn't just go
nutso over Aiden today.
I mean, like, it didn't come
from nowhere. 'Cause... tomorrow.
- What's tomorrow?
- It's...
Remember, I gave myself the deadline?
It'll be three months tomorrow.
If Ed didn't touch me, I'd leave?
Yeah. Are you gonna,
are you gonna leave?
I mean, like...
Where am I going?
- [CHUCKLES]
- Yeah.
You know, I have the nicest house
out of all the girls I grew up with.
So if I leave...
If I want more...
But like, but, like...
- [PHONE CHIMING]
- This is like...
... the first thing
that's made me feel like
I could breathe in years. This man.
- _
- [GIA] Yeah.
- Sorry.
- What is happening?
- Oh, my God. Whoa, dude!
- Tell me everything.
I'm not saying any more about me
till you start saying
something about you.
- [LAUGHS]
- Um...
- [LINA YELPS]
- Uh, I don't know what to say.
Uh, for the last decade,
everything around me has d*ed.
My father, mother. I
mean, she was, like...
a proper assh*le, but...
- we were still close.
- Yeah.
Mothers are a trip.
[WHOOPS] Yes, they are.
Yeah, I don't know. I guess, like,
I was just excited, you know?
'Cause there was, like...
Like, having something
grow inside of me and...
Whatever, but nothing I love ever lives,
so it's not like I was shocked.
- Honey, you know that's not true.
- Oh, shh.
[CHUCKLES]
My God, Lina.
You're, like...
Wha... ?
You're beautiful, you're so stunning.
- You have to get out of Indiana.
- Uh-uh.
Come here.
- Perfect. Okay, stay there.
- Okay.
- Holy f*ck, you're gorgeous!
- [LAUGHS]
[EXHALES, LAUGHS]
- Thank you. Okay.
- Okay, ready?
Oh, gosh, okay.
- Just be you.
- Okay.
Okay, give me, like, your best, like...
- like, pout face.
- Oh.
Like, the duck lips.
Yes, oh, my God! Wow! Look pissed.
[LAUGHS] Okay.
No, like, like I'm, like, Aiden's wife.
- [SCREAMS]
- [BOTH LAUGH]
Okay, now look like
Aiden's gonna eat you out.
- [LAUGHS]
- Yes! You can do it.
Come on, I want to see your face.
I want to know what it's like. Show me.
- [EXHALES]
- Yes! Oh, my God, Lina!
[GIA SCREAMS]
You're just, you're such
a pretty, pretty girl.
- Oh, my God.
- Thank you.
You're so beautiful happy.
You deserve to be happy,
too, you know, little girl.
[GIA SCOFFS]
I'm fine. [CHUCKLES]
Lina?
Can I please tell your
love story to the world?
Because it's, like, such
a wonderful love story.
And I promise, like, I'll...
Just, would you consider it?
- Heck, honey, it'd be my pleasure.
- Really?
For real?
Oh, my God, I'll change your name,
- I will do, I'll do everything...
- I'm so tired of everyone
telling me to keep this to myself.
- I want you to use my name.
- [LAUGHS]
Say my f*cking name!
[BOTH SCREAMING]
Oh, my God!
[JOYFUL MUSIC]
♪
♪
♪