02x06 - The Love Plan

[bunniefuu]

[upbeat electronic music]

[music fades]

[click]

No, it's not bad. Not bad.
It's not there but, um...

Um, it's produced well.

- Yeah? OK.
- [Rachel] It's a bit flat, you know.

It's lacking some contrast,
it's a bit predictable, but...

No big deal. You can work on that.

- That's not the problem.
- What's the problem?

You're the problem.

You're a total mess, aren't you?
I mean, first, you ditch me.

- Then you try to f*ck me. What's the plan?
- The plan is just music. Only music.

- You've said that before.
- I know, but you got to believe me.

It was a misunderstanding, that's all.

- Sure.
- [Rachel taps her glass]

I don't know why
but I'll still produce you.

- [Rachel taps her glass]
- You will?

That's so awesome! It's...

That's... That's great. You'll see,
I won't disappoint you. It's...

- [Julio stammers] It's going to be...
- [Rachel sighs]

You all right?

Yeah, I'm fine.

- [Rachel] I'll get going.
- OK.

- [loud crunching]
- [Charlotte] Hmm.

Isn't this just perfect?

Like family. Like four peas in a pod.

[Milou] Mm, this honey is delicious, baby.

[Charlotte] Well, four. And a half.

- [Antoine] Want some more?
- [Milou] Yeah.

And I love co-sleeping with Eddy.

[Antoine and Milou] Mm...

Hey, we should go buy... some bread.

- Some bread?
- [Elsa] Uh-huh.

- [Milou giggles]
- Yeah, we could.

- Uh, at the... organic bakery?
- [Charlotte] No way.

That's way too far.
It's what, a 20-minute walk?

Oh, no. Too far, too far. No way.

- [Elsa] Uh...
- No. No. No.

[sexy music]

Yeah. Good idea.
OK, let's go buy bread. 20 minutes away.

Is that... Would 20 be good?

Yeah, OK, sounds good.

♪ By day, she's a student studying hard ♪

♪ Find out she takes her clothes off
At the local bar ♪

♪ Let the village and her family
In search of faith ♪

♪ Don't sit there for a farmer,
Not a plan or game ♪

- [labored breathing]
- [moaning]

♪ The life she left behind
Was stalling her ♪

♪ Keep running, young girl,
This is all you got ♪

♪ Keep running, young girl,
Do it whilst you're hot ♪

[both pant]

We should do this every day.

[panting continues]

Every day of our lives?

Yeah.

Until death do us part?

[silence]

- Yeah.
- [Antoine chuckles]

Yeah. I never canceled it.

[Antoine laughs]

- But wait, is it...?
- Yeah, it's today.

It's in two hours.



[theme tune]

THE LAME PLAN

THE CRAZY PLAN

THE BOOTY PLAN

THE HOOK-UP PLAN

You're making me look
like a total idiot. Get here fast.

- [woman] Is everyone here? Can we start?
- No.

No, I'm sorry. One of my best men
is in a cab, the other is on a plane so...

- [Eddy cries]
- [sigh]

- Can it be done without a best man?
- No!

- No, I'm afraid not. We need a witness.
- [door opens]

Sorry I'm late.

Hey.

- [Julio] I came as fast as I could.
- [Antoine] Thanks.

- Is this gentleman your best man?
- Um...

[upbeat music]

Uh... Yes! This is his best man.

♪ Touching the sky ♪

Huh, OK.

♪ I'm gliding and it feels so right ♪

♪ I won't be jaded ♪

♪ It won't be wasted ♪

- ♪ Go then, my love, rise in the sun ♪
- [door opens]

- [laughter]
- ♪ I won't be jaded ♪

- ♪ Won't leave things fading ♪
- No, no, no.

♪ Let me tell you once again ♪

- ♪ I wouldn't trade a thing I gain ♪
- So, are we good?

[woman] Do you, Emilie Chataigne,

take Antoine Ben Smires
as your lawfully wedded husband?

I do.

And do you, Antoine Ben Smires,

take Emilie Chataigne
as your lawfully wedded wife?

I do.

[Charlotte shouts] Yes!

By the power vested in me,

I pronounce Mr. Antoine Ben Smires
and Miss Emilie Chataigne

to be husband and wife.

- [applause and cheering]
- ♪ I won't be jaded ♪

♪ Won't leave things fading ♪

We will now proceed
with the exchanging of rings.

♪ Rise in the sun ♪

♪ I won't be jaded,
Won't leave things wasting ♪

- Here, just take mine.
- Thank you.

♪ Let me tell you once again ♪

Here you go.
Hopefully it will bring you good luck.

[music continues]

[Milou laughs]

This one.

[cheering and applause]

[Charlotte] Whoo!

[applause]

Here's your papa.
Come on, let's give a kiss to your papa.

[music continues]

- [cheering and laughter]
- Bravo!

- Long live the bride!
- [Milou laughs] Ah!

- [Charlotte] I got it!
- [screaming]

[indistinct chatter]

Look who got the bouquet!

Hey, now!

- There you are.
- I'm so sorry.

It's OK, I had Julio.

You guys figured it all out.

So, you actually showed up.
That's really nice.

Yeah, I know. I'm really sorry.

At least, my brother's best man
isn't a traitor.

- [Matthieu laughs] Congrats!
- [Milou] Oh, hi!

♪ For this one time ♪

♪ I'll make things all right ♪

♪ Let me tell you once again ♪

♪ I wouldn't trade a thing ♪

♪ For this one time ♪

♪ Yes, this one time ♪

♪ Go then, my love, rise in the sun ♪

- I didn't think I'd see you this soon.
- [Elsa titters] Me neither.

♪ I'll make things all right ♪

This is awesome.

- So, are you going to introduce us?
- Petra, don't be shy.

- Sorry, but my hands are full, you know?
- No problem.

- Hey there, how are you doing?
- Nice to see you.

♪ Let me tell you once again ♪

- Uh, she's an old friend.
- I'm his ex-girlfriend!

[Elsa] Shall we have a drink?

- [indistinct chatter]
- [music fades]

Haven't seen you in a while, man.

- [Max] Careful, Chantal!
- [indistinct chatter]

Mind the paint when you climb aboard.
You see? It's right over here.

- [Milou] Wow!
- You like it?

- Yeah! This really beats the castle.
- [Charlotte laughs] Yeah!

I'm glad this barge is getting some use.

Wait, why? Are you dropping the nursery?

Hey, no, you can't do that.
You worked your ass off.

[Milou] Well, so did we.

I cooked up the numbers
and you half-assed the budget plan.

Yeah, you definitely messed up.

I didn't really feel like working either.
I mostly wanted to hang out with you guys.

[all laugh]

[Elsa] Hmm.

No. If you stop this project,
I'm going to throw you over.

- Seriously, I swear to you.
- No, but maybe I could...

I could possibly go on...
but without Maxime.

I mean, he could maybe pass on the project
to a colleague, male or female,

like, uh... like Chantal.

- Oh, yeah?
- Well, yeah.

Because if City Hall finds out
that he helped out his ex...

Adios, Maxime.

- That's right, baby!
- I know!

- Really?
- [Milou and Charlotte] Yeah!

- Totally.
- Do the laugh.

- The evil laugh?
- Yes!

[all cackle] Mwahahaha!

- [upbeat music]
- ♪ Trying to get you back on me ♪

♪ But I don't want ♪

♪ And you don't know ♪

♪ Ah-ah, oh-oh, oh ♪

♪ And nothing's gonna set me free ♪

♪ Because you'd be sure ♪

♪ I'm high and low ♪

♪ After the after ♪

[music continues in background]

♪ After the after ♪

[Milou sighs]
They obviously still love each other.

We can't leave her like this.

- We'd be rotten friends if we do nothing.
- [giggling]

- [Milou] We just need a plan.
- [Charlotte] A genius idea.

[music continues in background]

- Oh, sh**t, we're doing it again.
- Oh, we're nuts.

- God!
- We need to mind our own sh*t.

- It's her life.
- You're absolutely right.

Stop staring at them like that,
it's creepy.

- Yeah? Is it too much?
- No. No, no, no. We're fine.

- [music stops]
- Hey, you.

- Do you want to play tag with me?
- Nah, I'm good.

Granny! There you are.

Ugh, there's that big idiot.

- [Granny] And the n*zi!
- Oh!

- Your granddaughter is worried.
- Which one? The fat one?

- Someone forgot to take her pills!
- [laughter]

I have a little mission for you.

- You take care of Granny.
- Meaning?

You'll see, it's just like with Eddy,
except it's easier.

One pill every hour
or she gets kind of aggressive.

[upbeat music resumes]

- What's her name?
- Simone.

- But everyone calls her Granny Prozac.
- Oh! Well, he won't get laid.

- [laughter]
- You?

You look even more stupid
than the other one.

All right. Let's start
with the first pill, shall we?

[cheering]

♪ I won't let you go on your way ♪

- Granny?
- Yes?

This is what we call a playlist.

- Ah.
- It's foreign to you, totally normal.

So, it's really like a compilation
of a bunch of EP vinyls.

Ah. Except it sounds like total garbage.

[Granny laughs]

[music continues]

- Well?
- ♪ Look like a queen ♪

Go ahead and join her, you big dumbass!

- [Roman] Hey, Grandma, come here. Yes.
- [Granny] But...

- Yes, yes, come here.
- What are you doing?

♪ You're an angel ♪

♪ Brought by the wind ♪

[music continues in background]

- How's it going?
- [Charlotte] Good, and you?

[Arthur] Good.

OK, so you wouldn't happen to have
something to tell me, would you?

I don't.

Can you pay me or not?

- Well, no.
- So, that means you have to fire me.

- Right this second?
- Well, I think so, yeah.

No! No way, no.
That's way too much pressure on me.

- Annoying, right?
- Yeah, but can we not do it now?

- It's not the right time.
- It is.

This is too brutal, I can't.
Not like this.

- Charlotte, it's your job.
- Yeah, but no.

- Charlotte, are you a boss or not?
- Yes.

- Well, then, what does a boss do?
- Well...

- You're my boss, you have to fire me.
- Yeah.

- Um, OK. OK, you're fired.
- OK...

- You see?
- [Charlotte chuckles]

- Feels good, huh?
- Oh, yeah. Fired!

- One more time?
- b*at it, you're fired!

- g*dd*mn! Not bad!
- Yeah, feels great. I was stupid.

So now... Now we can work together.

- [Arthur] Yeah.
- Yeah. Wait, no. I mean, how? Why?

Because I just got an inheritance.

I wasn't really sure what to do
with it but now I think I know.

I'll buy Pinkars.

- [Charlotte gasps]
- [Arthur] I'll buy half of Pinkars.

- [Arthur] If you're game.
- OK.

- Yeah.
- That way, you and I will be associates.

[Charlotte gasps and laughs]

- Cheers. It's a yes?
- Yeah!

Great!

- [French electronic music]
- [chatter]

Stop it, you can't do that.

[chatter continues]

- Are you out of your mind?
- Stop.

[Charlotte] You and Milou
have never been more in love.

Maybe, but all I know is,
it's never been easier, and that...

that feels great.

I think actually it's great
to take a step back.

[music continues]

Well, that depends.

Hey, don't worry, he doesn't care.

- Is she better than me?
- Are you out of your mind?

Have you seen her?
Have you seen yourself?

[Charlotte giggles]

[Charlotte giggles] Best bro del mundo.

- We can't leave it to fate, I can't.
- What? OK.

[Milou] Sorry, Roman, I'm borrowing Julio.

- Come dance with me!
- You're inviting me to dance?

[Milou] We're tipsy at my wedding!

- [Julio chuckles]
- Hey, what a good dancer!

- [Julio] Hey!
- [Milou] Not bad!

- Yeah! Dance!
- [Julio] Hey!

[music continues]

- Go! Go, go, go. Mingle!
- Yeah.

- Meet Antoine, he's extremely nice.
- OK.

- [Milou] Whoo!
- A glass of champagne, Elsa?

No, no, no, no, no!

Uh, no, I'm good, thanks.

♪ Party pooper,
You're such a party pooper ♪

- It's just a drink.
- ♪ You're not her boyfriend ♪

[music continues]

- OK...
- Don't you have something to tell me?

- Huh?
- Well...

[Matthieu] Oh, yeah, sorry.
It happened really fast.

Maybe a little too fast?

- I'm in love, Charlotte.
- Shut the f*ck up.

Leidenschaft.
It's the German word for passion.

Oh. Oh, OK. OK, I mean...
Yeah. Yeah, that's great. I mean...

It's too bad because it's just, well,
I was just starting to feel maybe...

- What? What?
- You know...

- No, forget it. Forget it. It's...
- No, but I mean, if...

- No.
- Do you still love...

- What?
- For me, do you still have feelings?

Because it's, uh...
We're just starting this... this thing.

It's not...
Love might be overstating it, you know.

- You still like me!
- What do you mean?

- [Charlotte laughs]
- What?

I played you so f*cking hard!
[chants] You're into me!

Why are you doing this?
What are you... That's really low.

- What?
- Why are you trying to trick me?

You brought some random chick
right under my nose.

That phoney-ass love story of yours.

- Aren't you a tad jealous?
- [Charlotte sighs]

I'll be jealous when you find a girl
who makes you happier than me.

The bar is high.

Same here.

[music continues]

[muffled music]

THE KINGFISHER

[water lapping]

- [both titter]
- [Julio sighs]

The girls wanted me to check the anchor.

They did?

[Elsa] Oh, sh*t. What's... Well, hang on.

- [Elsa] How does this contraption work?
- I think they just wanted us alone here.

Oh, that's it.

- So, we're not checking on the anchor?
- No.

- Because it was an excuse. Right.
- Right.

[both titter]

- At least, you know, we tried.
- Yeah. Yeah, that's something.

And it was nice.

Very nice.

You see, we were really
like dolphins in a water park.

You release them in the ocean and then...

then two weeks later, they wash up
on the shore, like garbage, gone.

Because... Because they weren't ready.

I thought I was stronger.

I thought I was less fragile.

- See, we're actually similar.
- [Elsa laughs]

Some say birds of a feather
flock together...

- Well, yeah, that's really dumb.
- It's dumb.

- When we broke up...
- Yeah, no. I don't wanna know.

Because you're living your life,
I'm living mine and, um...

We're still recovering.

And we're healing.

- OK, I'm going back inside. Yeah.
- Yeah?

Oh, and you know, actually, uh,
some of the dolphins survive.

[Elsa] They're injured, but they survive.

I should go.

THE KINGFISHER

[Julio sighs]

[Oriental intro]

[French hip-hop]

[cheering]

[guests chant] Hey! Hey! Hey!

[music continues]

No conga line! Who started a conga line?

It was I, you tramp!

[music continues]

[cheering]

- [Granny] Come on! Keep it going!
- [laughter]

[cheering]

What?

- Oh, excuse me.
- [music stops]

Now, I know that speeches
are always a bit of a drag.

- [Max] They're always...
- [Milou] Hey! Hey! What? You're leaving?

Ah, there she is. All right.

I'm sorry for leaving now but, uh...

it's for the best.

- [Max continues talking]
- Well...

- No, I'm the one who's sorry.
- Both of us. We're really sorry.

I really mean it. We...
We've been too hard on you.

- [both] Especially her.
- [Charlotte] She's been a real bitch.

[both] What?
No, you were the one. Oh, come on!

Ugh, you're such a pain!
Anyway, come on, let's make peace.

Plus, you're my brother's best man.
You're basically family.

- [Max continues talking]
- Thanks.

Anyway, have fun, and congratulations.

[Max] What is love?

[Max] Love is, um...

[Max] It's boarding a ship
and trusting it.

[Max] A boat that was in a dock until now.

One really big dock.

[Max] And a ship that tried to set sail
today. To get out, to face real life.

[Max] Sometimes, storms.
Sometimes, swells.

Swells will make a boat pitch.
Um, that's when it's not balanced.

[Max] And that quickly leads to puking.

[Max] First, it's just food
that hasn't been properly digested.

After that, you might puke up bile,
which leaves stains on fabrics.

It actually can ruin certain fabrics.

[Max] We're not here to talk about me,
we're mostly here to talk about love.

And about this ship.

Um, it can brave the... the storms.

And that's when you'll have to be strong.
That's when I wasn't able to.

[Max starts to fade]
And I think it's important to fight.

We've all watched Titanic.

- [Julio] Hi, Elsa.
- ♪ Elsa, Elsa, Elsa ♪

[Julio] I don't know
when you'll listen to this piece.

I wrote it for you
when things were going well.

- ♪ Elsa, Elsa, Elsa ♪
- [Julio] So, there.

[Julio] It's not finished but...
it's yours.

- [Max continues talking]
- [music volume increases]

- Love is a treasure for which...
- Sorry, small emergency.

- [Max] Love is...
- Excuse me.

Really sorry.

[melancholy music]

[Elsa screams] Julio!

[Elsa] Yes, it's me!

Elsa-Elsa!

I guess that's really obvious because...
because you can see me, but...

Um, OK, so, I wanted to seize
this moment of intimacy, right?

[laughter]

And it looks like
it's going to be put to music.

But at the same time, it's just perfect...

to tell you this is it.

Now I get it.

I only understood it ten minutes ago,
but I get it.

You're the best trick ever played on me.

[Elsa sighs] Oh, no! Wait, wait, wait!

[Elsa] Wait! I mean, no,
if you wanna leave, you can.

I'm not telling you all this
to stop you from leaving.

But because I don't wanna have regrets.

I don't really know
your thoughts on this but...

splitting up, starting again,
all over again, it's not ideal.

- [Elsa] But that's how we are, right?
- [laughter]

Plus, we can love each other
over and over, no?

[Elsa] No?

I wanna tell you that...

that we're not finished.

[Elsa] We're not finished
until we're really finished.

- [guests cheer]
- [Elsa] That's all that matters.

[sings badly]♪ We're not finished ♪

What am I doing?

♪ We're not finished
Until it's really finished ♪

[guests join in]♪ It's not finished ♪

[Elsa] I'm doing this for you, Julio!

♪ We're not finished,
No, we're not finished ♪

♪ We're not finished, oooh ♪

♪ We're not finished,
No, we're not finished ♪

[laughter]

Oh, sh*t, got to move!

[rousing music]

♪ So close to me ♪

♪ So close to me ♪

♪ Oh, no, it's not finished ♪

♪ It's not ♪

Come on, sing along!

[music continues]

[cheering]

♪ So close to me ♪

- [distant cheering]
- So, you're not ashamed of me anymore?

Who cares,
it's not like there's anyone looking.

[cheering]

[cheering continues]

- [music builds]
- [cheering]

[Charlotte] Aw, look at them!
And to think they met thanks to me.

- Well, thanks to us.
- Well, me.

- To us.
- Yeah, me.

- Us.
- Well, I'm the one who started all this!

- Well, you mostly screwed up.
- Oh, yeah? I screwed up?

- Yeah, that's a negative thing.
- Well, then, it's my work! My work!

- Oh, man. Your sister is a piece of work.
- Oh, but I agree with her.

- [Milou gasps] What?
- Yeah, it was her doing.

- No, it was me because...
- Best bro del mundo!

Best bro del mundo! Best bro del mundo!

[Milou] Whatever.

[music fades]

[upbeat music]

♪ I'm feeling you closer ♪

♪ So close to me ♪

♪ I'm feeling you closer ♪

♪ So close to me ♪

♪ I'm feeling you closer ♪

♪ So close to me ♪

♪ I'm feeling you closer ♪

♪ So close to me ♪

♪ I'm feeling you closer ♪

♪ So close to me ♪

♪ I'm feeling you closer ♪

♪ So close to me ♪