03x06 - The Final Plan

[bunniefuu]

[festive music]

- [Emilie] He's so cute.
- Yes.

TWO YEARS LATER

- You're lucky he's not ugly.
- Yes. [chuckles]

It's a real lottery.

Even if the parents are attractive.
He looks a little like you.

- You think?
- Mm-hmm, yeah.

Did you already tell him about
how you got him?

- I'm waiting until he can understand.
- No way!

Right now,
he's feeling everything, it's worse.

I thought you read the books.

Yeah, I read all the books,
but Jules needs to be there.

Sure, if you want him
to like his father best.

Okay, I'll talk to him now.

[clicks tongue]
So, my perfect little prince.

No. Whoa, don't call him

"My perfect little prince?" Go on.

I don't know where to start.

At the beginning! I mean...

Okay.

So, my little darling,
once upon a time, your mommy...

[Julio] Hi.

FOUR YEARS AGO

...who by a great coincidence
found herself in front of a handsome boy.

Here. In one piece.

[Milou] Coincidence? It's thanks to us!

[Elsa] Shut up!

- Sorry about earlier, on the phone.
- [romantic music]

No, don't worry. I'm Jules.

Jules Dupont.

Is that a pseudonym? [chuckles]

[Emilie] Yes, because Daddy
was a man whore.

[Elsa] No, quit it! Shh!

Can't you tell him
something that involves us?

Something about where he comes from?

Like when Cha offered to give you her...

Because of chemo,
they insist I freeze my eggs.

TWO YEARS AGO

Either they go to waste,

or they're useful to,

well, someone.

[Emilie] Hang on, uh,

if I'm following, you...

- Yeah, I'm a lender. I mean, I'm a donor.
- [Elsa] Hmm.

Because basically,
for me men are terminado. Kids, pff.

I don't want any. I have other priorities.

I give you my eggs,
and you make this baby!

- Yeah, but Charlotte, it's...
- You can't say no.

Think about those little eggs,

waiting in the cold at the clinic.
"Elsa, come get me!"

And it's risk-free, this is premium DNA.

It's DNA plus, plus.
Even more! Plus, plus, plus.

Hang on. So, if you give
Elsa your eggs, that means...

Biologically speaking,
you'd be making a baby with Jules.

Symbolically, you'd have slept
with all the guys in the g*ng.

Except your brother. [laughs]

Relax, I'm kidding. It's okay.

It's... no come on,
it's a genius idea! It's true.

It's also a shitty idea.
It's complicated, isn't it?

- It's one of Chacha's ideas.
- It's so sweet, Chacha, but I don't know...

[Cha] There's no ifs or buts!
It's just sweet!

Yeah, well...

To make a baby between friends.
It's beautiful. [chuckles]

And not just any baby.
A real heartbreaker. Hang on.

- [Elsa] Let me see.
- [Cha] Hmm.

She's got Jules' frizzy hair.

But we'll straighten it.
Milou could carry it!

- I'm not sure we should've started there.
- Hmm.

A NETFLIX SERIES

[upbeat music playing]

THE LAME PLAN

THE CRAZY PLAN

THE BOOTY PLAN

THE HOOK-UP PLAN

Eddy, your nose is all snotty!
Come blow your nose!

Fast forward to Christmas right after.

But I was putting things in context.
You told me to...

- Let's move on.
- Oh, right.

Jules' surprise.

Oh. [groans]

Jules' surprise.

No! Boring!

- Your daddy...
- Already bored.

TWO YEARS AGO

- ...in order to cheer me up because I was...
- [Milou] Infertile.

[Elsa] Wha... Yes, okay.

Anyway, to cheer me up...

What? Oh, my... This?

[romantic music playing]

- [Elsa chuckles]
- [phone rings]

Well...

Huh.

Hi, Elsa-Elsa.

- Uh, Julio, are you okay?
- No, this is Jules.

It was a pleasure to see you
and return your cell phone.

I know you're a little out of it,
but that's what I like about you.

Hang on, but...

- Oh, right!
- [music resumes]

Okay, you're reenacting the...

[Emilie] How you first met, we get it.

- I'd really like to see you again.
- [Elsa] Oh...

Well, listen, uh...

Well, me too, I... [giggles]

sh*t, what were my lines?

- [Milou] I don't know. "Smell you later"?
- Okay.

Make sure to go through your photos.

- Okay, all right. The photos.
- Okay?

- Oh! That was "Later, alligator"!
- [Emilie] Who says that?

- That's it.
- See you later, Elsa-Elsa.

Okay, I'll look at the photos.

Love you. Kisses.

[low voice] Love you.

[romantic music continues]

The photos.

MEETUP TONIGHT

TO RETRACE OUR STORY...

[laughs]

AT THE PARIS AQUARIUM AT 7:00 P.M.

Oh.

[music fades]

You're going
to tell him about the aquarium?

- Yeah.
- Fine, if you want to.

Talk about awkward.

FOUR YEARS AGO

[Elsa] Sorry.

[Emilie mimics Elsa] I really want you!

[mimics Jules] Okay.

- Really, really want you!
- Yeah, me too.

- You coming?
- Okay.

And then they f*cked!

I don't mean that time!
I'm talking about the second time!

- But...
- Christmas two years ago!

Oh... [groans]

- [Emilie] It's irrelevant.
- [Jules] Hello, Miss Piggy.

- [Elsa] Hey, you.
- [Elsa] We made a decision.

- [Elsa] Nice photos.
- An old recipe.

[Elsa] He made me listen
to the new song he had composed for me.

Oh, wow!

- I'm guessing the pig isn't the present.
- [both chuckle]

Another old recipe.

- [Emilie] Can't he just give you jewelry?
- [Elsa] Quit it! His song is a hit!

[Emilie] A hit? According to who?

[lively electronic music playing]

- You've been working on this?
- Yeah.

- It's beautiful.
- Really?

Yeah.

[Elsa] It's crazy how this song
immediately made me relive our story.

[music continues]

And it's true that it wasn't always rosy.

Or always perfect.

Oh, wow, look! They're dancing too!

[Elsa] But it was us.

I love it.

And there's nothing stronger.

- Oh, it's awesome.
- [Jules] Hmm.

[music continues]

[music builds]

[music continues]

[inaudible]

[music fades]

You and I got used
to talking through music. Hmm?

[music continues in headphones]

That worked out well for us.

[inhales] You see,

this song is our song.

It's our new start.

Even if you're the only one
who likes my music,

you know what, I'm fine with that.

Did you say something?

[Jules chuckles]

Nothing.

I love you.

We will raise a child, I promise you.

[Eddy] Come on, go!

Ugh, this is so cheesy.

No, thanks to that song,
the label asked him to make an album.

Your kid doesn't know much
about his origin, though.

[laughs]

So, on Christmas Eve...

[Emilie] Oh, finally!

TWO YEARS AGO

- Suzanne given up on her nightclub idea.
- [Matt] I made a mistake.

[Emilie] Am I to stuff these turkeys
by myself?

[Elsa] The foundation was gonna become
a care home for women in need

and a community canteen.

[Matt] You know,
I'm not at all in love with you anymore.

That's right. The mermaid helped me.

Because you and her had...

No, she's a friend.

- Oh!
- Nonsense.

I realized dating lots of girls
was pointless,

that I needed to be fine on my own.
You know?

Yeah, I know.

[Roman] There she is.

Is it true you're uniting
with the Green party?

Yeah. You're gonna vote for me, right?

That depends on your platform.

- Oh, really?
- Well...

You know what? My platform
is for you to go f*ck yourself.

- Is that so?
- Yeah.

It's going well.
We're on schedule for the soup kitchen.

It's going wonderfully, Mrs. Director.

- [phone rings]
- Oh, sh*t.

It's the shaman.

- I'm not sure...
- I'll deal with it.

Okay.

- Hello?
- Hello? Yes, this is Briska.

Are you ready for the red moon ceremony?

No, Briska,
we're celebrating Christmas with friends.

- Okay.
- And with those in need.

The red moon can wait.

- We're going to try another way.
- Yes.

- [in Portuguese] Feliz Natal!
- You too. Merry Christmas.

Namaste, Briska.

- [in Lakota] Thumpi anpetu waste.
- Bye.

Who's the assh*le
who took a piece of my Yule log?

Come on, f*ck! Put it all in there!

Last one!
Let's not feed them stuffing all week!

I am putting everything!
It's the tenth one.

[Emilie] Hey, I love you.

The shittier it gets,

the more I love you.

[laughs]

By the way, last night was...

- Was what?
- It was really great.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

Well, it was for me too.

- Really?
- Yeah.

After we get home, if you want...

Or even before we get home.

Totally,

my little turkey.

- [Emilie] Okay.
- Yeah?

My little Santa Claus,

with his big sack.

[moans]

- [Emilie laughs]
- [Antoine] Mm.

- [Emilie] Greedy.
- Always.

- How do you know that part?
- Quit interrupting and let me finish.

Okay.

She was saying
Daddy and Mommy love each other very much.

[Elsa] Okay, moving on.

[Charlotte] Move! We can't have the needy
eating at midnight.

- Take the cooler, please.
- Yeah.

- I got it.
- Thanks.

Put it all inside.

[exhales] Okay.

Is it true that you had your eggs frozen?

What?

Your eggs, you really had them frozen?

[chuckles] You really want
to talk about this now?

Yes.

If you don't want to have a child,
what's the point?

Yeah, I mean, no.
Well, it could help out someone later.

[Max sighs]

You okay?

[sighs]

Since I'm staying with Antoine and Milou,

having a child, well...

[clicks tongue]

Okay, well, Eddy, uh,

I think he's cool.

Well, he does have
some of my DNA, I get it.

[Cha chuckles]

Actually, see, speaking of DNA,
I'm not trying to influence you,

because every woman
has the right to not want children

and the right to want them,
and she can even change her mind.

Nice. [laughs]

Very good.

[clicks tongue]
I'm going to help the others. Hmm?

Would you like to have a child as friends?

I mean, obviously,
once you're cured and you're ready, but...

Well, anyway, I'm reedy.

Ready. I'm ready.

- Wait, are you serious right now?
- Yeah.

Don't tell me this cooler contains your...

I've been jerking off in it for two weeks.

- [cry of disgust]
- No, f*ck, it's a piece of...

It's Yule log
I stole from Emilie to give Eddy.

- Oh.
- [Max] He's part of the g*ng.

- [Max clicks tongue]
- [both sigh]

[Charlotte chuckles] You're sweet.

[chuckles] You are ready indeed.

[Charlotte laughs]

[upbeat pop music playing]

♪ I'm driving home for
I'll soon be with you ♪

f*ck.

♪ I'm dreaming no more
I'll soon be next to you ♪

♪ And it's been so long
But I'll be there ♪

♪ I'll soon for you ♪

♪ It's been so long
But I do swear ♪

♪ My heart's for you ♪

♪ I'm driving home for
I'll soon be with you ♪

♪ I'm dreaming no more
I'll soon be next to you ♪

[music winds down]

[Milou] Enough with the dancing!

- Straight to the point!
- [Elsa] Right, sorry.

[accelerated music]

- [music stops]
- [all] Oh!

Sorry. I have something to tell you guys.

Okay.

So... [laughs]

I wanna thank you.

A big thank you.

[laughter]

Because thanks to you... [laughs]

...Piotr's canteen
has distributed 500 Christmas dinners.

[cheering, applause]

- [whoops of joy]
- Wow!

- And that... [clears throat]
- [Chantal] That's great.

[voice breaks]
I couldn't have done it without you.

[Elsa exhales] Okay.

Because, actually, life is incredible.

[sighs]

We think there's
only one way to be a fulfilled woman

or man. [chuckles]

[melancholic music]

Whereas... [clicks tongue]

Well, happiness is... [deep inhale]

more of a journey than a destination.

And, come here. [chuckles] Come.

[Elsa] Okay.

So, with Jules, we raise our glasses

to you all.

Also, we wanted
to announce that we decided to...

[music stops]

Hello, my constituents.

[Emilie] No way!

- We're in the 18th district.
- Practically in the 9th.

In two years, I'll take on City Hall
and bring that memory.

- Your sash is beautiful, Chacha.
- You didn't have to.

Yes, I did have to.

It's like a second skin. And, on my land...

- You're only the 9th district mayor!
- You're such a killjoy.

[Emilie sighs]

[Cha squeals]

What did I miss?

Not much. Elsa is taking forever
to say how Joao Miguel entered her life.

Oh, well, how adorable is Joao Miguel!

[baby laughs]

[Cha] That's right.

He'd have been cuter with my DNA.

No, not at all.

- Yes.
- No.

- Yes.
- [Emilie] Wait, I just realized.

Joao Miguel in French is...

- It's actually Jean-Michel. Funny.
- Oh, that's lame.

Wha...

Is it like with boats? Is it bad luck
to change the name if the owner changed?

- But!
- But!

- There you go.
- What?

She's been b*ating around the bush
for three hours

to tell him he was adopted,
and you spill the beans.

Sorry, I didn't know. My bad.

[baby giggles]

[Charlotte] He looks happy.

No, it's no big deal. It's no big deal.

It's better like this,
to say it simply, and...

and it makes sense.

Because for me,

it just makes sense.

Just like us. [laughs]

Oh, girls!

- Ah.
- Here. Are you ready?

- Yeah.
- We're a little old for this, though.

- Who cares?
- We don't.

[Emilie] Memory box.

[birds chirping]

[Milou] Is the box big enough?
Because we've been through a lot.

[Elsa] A few years ago,
we weren't in the same place.

[Elsa] Especially me.

BOBBY LAPOINTE
BEST MUSIC ELSA

[French pop music is playing]

[all] Thank you.

Oh, I'm starving

- [laughter]
- [exclaim] Yeah!

Well, I know it's your favorite.

[music continues]

SHALL WE HAVE LUNCH?
ELSA

[Charlotte] Ta-da!

- [Elsa] What's this?
- My first Pinkars!

Ah! It's a rat! Let's go!

WHAT'S ON THE MENU?
KARAOKE EVJF MILOU

[music continues]

- What?
- No.

[Charlotte laughs]

[Charlotte laughs] Come on!

[Elsa] Ah!

I would have loved to make
a baby with you during lockdown.

CHARLOTTE
BEN SMIRES

- [Elsa] Yes!
- Yes!

Yeah.

[music fades]

[Elsa] sh*t.

[Elsa] Don't worry, give me that.

- There. Okay. It's gone.
- Sure you want to do this?

You don't have to.

[exhales] Of course I do.

My cancer isn't that small,

I'm going through f*cking chemo,
my body is different.

[sharp inhale]
I've never had such a hard time.

My cancer is like me.

It's full of flaws,

and at the same time
I'm here thanks to it.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

- Even though I'd rather live without it.
- [Milou] Yeah.

- But we keep moving forward.
- Yeah.

The faster I go,
the harder it'll be for it to catch up.

- So now let me through, b*tches.
- [laughter]

- Okay.
- Make way for the future mayor.

- No freaking out.
- No freaking out.

It's gonna be alright.

Yes! Go for it!

- Yes.
- Go for it!

[Elsa] Yes.

[crowd cheering, applause]

Hello to you all.

Thank you for being here. Truly.

[cheering continues]

[upbeat electronic music]

I think we all need
a helping hand in order to live together.

[Charlotte] To help each other,
form connections, share our knowledge.

FEMINIST

We have everything going for us
if we listen to each other.

And most of all...

we have a responsibility.

Today,

I have three months left
before the first vote.

Three months to convince you

that my strength...

my strength

is yours.

- [Emilie] Bravo!
- [cheering and applause]

[music builds]

REMISSION

[rousing dance music playing]

[music fades]

- [Elsa] Think he's okay?
- Don't wake him!

Sorry, I'm gonna make sure he's breathing.

Oh my god, he's so cute.

- You think he's cold?
- My love, he's fine. Trust me.

- He's sleeping.
- But it isn't the same climate...

[all] Surprise! Surprise!

- [Charlotte screams]
- [laughter]

[Charlotte] Yeah!
They have a baby, she's got a baby!

- [Emilie] So cute!
- [Jules] How are you?

sh*t. Did I miss the kid's arrival?

[Elsa] No, look who's here.

[Emilie] Group selfie
to welcome Joao into the g*ng?

[Emilie] I have a selfie stick.

Who still has a selfie stick?
I thought only Max's mother had it.

Whatever, everyone has one.

[Elsa] Shh!

You can't see the balloons!

[all arguing]

- Look at the camera...
- Okay.

- [indistinct arguing]
- [music continues]

[music fades]