01x01 - Reality Check

[bunniefuu]

Things will never be
the same without him, huh?

No.

Our people...

I know they don't
get along that good.

They'll be okay.

Frankie. I know you don't like me because
the commission passed you over.

You being my
brother's underboss,

you think you should have been next in line.
I understand that.

As a matter of fact,

I like you, Aldo.

You're just not
qualified to be a boss.

You're a bean counter.

You belong on Wall Street,

not with us.

What are you trying to say?

Everything's
money with you, Aldo.

You got no respect
for our thing.

You got no soul.

That's why your brother, Sally Boy,
rest in peace,

never gave you more than
his taxes to do every year.

Yeah?

Well, I'm the boss now.

And you better make sure
your people keep in line.

Don't worry about my people.

But you better
worry about yours.

Yeah.

Hey, boss.

Jimmy, what do you hear,
what do you say?

Couple of those FBI guys
were in here.

They left a card.

- Oh, yeah?
- Golf buddies of yours?

They're trying to convince me
my life's in danger.

You?

You're the only guy I know
whose life isn't in danger.

And everybody know, everybody
loves Frankie the Fixer.

Tell me about it.

I'm gonna give
you the cocksucker,

but I got some demands.

For starters,

I don't want to
relocate in the US.

It ain't safe
around here no more.

Nah.

Melanoma's for
the old school wise guys.

I'm thinking Lilyhammer.

Lily what?

I think it's in Sweden.

Close enough.

Why the f*ck
would you want to go there?

Didn't you see
the Olympics in '94?

It was beautiful.

Clean air, fresh white snow,
gorgeous broads,

and best of all, nobody but nobody's
gonna be looking for me there.

Listen,
you give us Aldo Delucci

and we'll send you to
the g*dd*mn North Pole.

You got a deal.

Just minutes ago, the District
Attorney's prime witness,

former underboss
Frank "The Fixer" Tagliano,

gave a shattering testimony against
his boss, Aldo Delucci.

Inside sources say
Tagliano is the last person

anyone would have
expected to testify.

Now,
sports with Mike Mitchell...

Look, here's the file
to your new identity.

And the address
to your new house.

From now on,
you're Giovanni Henriksen.

You're a restaurant owner
with no criminal record.

Hangrinsen?

You couldn't find
a more complicated name?

If you get into any, and I mean
any trouble with the police,

you are on your own.

Don't worry about a thing.

I'm a brand-new guy
over here.

Yeah, right.

Good day.
How are you?

I'm fine.
How about you?

Hey. My name is Kari.
What is your name?

Chapter 9: At the store.

Sorry,
but we've sold out of bread.

That's no problem.

- So who was that girl you f*cked last weekend?
- Was she any good then?

- She was a 30 year old!.
- No!

- Could you please turn down your music?
- What, don't you like it?

- Turn down the music!
- Whatever.

Give my hat back!.
Give back my hat, I said!

Relax.

Do I have your attention?

Just nod.

Yeah.
This is what happens next:

you're gonna go out there, you're gonna
give the man his hat back,

- and you're gonna shut that sh*t off. Yes?
- Yes.

Here's your f*cking hanky.

Go do the right thing.

Turn off the music.

I'm sorry. Okay?

- Okay.
- Thank you.

- What is it with you?
- Shut up.

Is that up near the town centre?

Excuse me?

Oh, he doesn't speak Norwegian.

Just a little bit.

You look like you have
a little Arabic in you...

You look a little
Arabish in the face.

Well, I'm an American.

You're an American?
What the hell are you doing here?

Tell you the truth, I fell in love
with your Olympics.

The Olympics? Yeah, I didn't sober up
until February '95

I wasn't sober
until one year after.

Here we are.

- That place?
- Yep.

That'll be 273 Kronor please...

Are you sure
that's the house?

Yes, sir.

Yes, sir. We are there.

Here you go.
Keep the change, all right?

Bloody hell... Thanks for that

Welcome to Lillehammer.

This one's for you, Lily.

Once again we've had an uninvited
guest in the Lillehammer region.

The wolf was seen yesterday
in Stampesletta.

How are you? ...are you?
How are you?

What the f*ck...

Ahh! Here it is!

Excuse me?

It must have fallen out of my bag.

I'm sorry,
I don't understand.

Oh, the sheep head...
It's my dinner.

You're gonna eat this?

Oh yeah. It is very good. Nam-nam.

For a minute there, I thought I was going to
have to give Johnny Fontane a movie part.

Okay...

You must be the new neighbor.

- Laila Hovland.
- Hi. Giovanni Hankrinsen.

Hankrensen?
Is that Indian or...

No, it's Henriksen.

My father was Norwegian.

He was Norwegian.

Call me Johnny.

Oh, you're in
the postal service, huh?

Oh no, I'm...

chief of police.

I'm chief of police.

So...you're staying here then!

See you then, Johnny.

Okay...

What the f*ck?

f*ckin' amateurs.

How're you doing?

Giovanni Henriksen?

Yes.

So,

you lived in New York
all your life?

That's right.

Start spreading the news...

I was there once, you know.
The Big Apple.

That's good.

And you have some background
from the restaurant business?

Yeah.

We don't have much at the moment...
Pizza delivery boy at Dolly Dimple's.

Pizza delivery.

I had a very successful bar
in New York, you know.

So I know all about it.

I just need you to make a few moves so
I can get a local license, that's all.

I think we need a reality
check here...

We have to have some
reality check here, you know?

To start a bar is
a very complicated process.

Oh!

Complications.
That's what you call it here?

Same thing
where I come from.

I brought a little something

for that purpose.

Take care of whoever
you gotta take care of.

Are you trying to
bribe a public official?

It's just so everybody can
wet their beak a little bit.

Do you want me to
call the police?

- What?
- Should I pick up the phone

and call the police?

Easy, take it easy.

All right, maybe you do
things differently here.

I apologize.

Okay.

Maybe we should put this on
the account for "cultural differences"?

Cultural differences.

I will send you
on a job seekers course on Friday.

I suggest you show up there with
a more humble attitude.

Blank sheets, okay?

Okay, okay, blank sheets.

So take this with you, and read
it. See you on Friday.

- Thank you.
- Bye.

Good day.
How are you?

Good. And you?

I have new mittens.
What about you?

What the f*ck?

Little lamb,

what are you doing
out here by yourself?

All right. Take it easy.

Take it easy.

Where you going?

Come here!

Oh!

Do you think the wolves have taken my sheep?

No. Jonas, I don't think so.
I hope not.

I didn't see any evidence of predators.

Dad? Do you know someone
who drives an electric car?

Hi.

- Hi. Need any help?
- Come and see.

Don't wave that thing around!

I found her on the road
and I'm looking for the owner.

He's got an escaped sheep with him!

Oh, hi.

We never said hello
on the train.

Yeah, yeah.
Giovanni. Call me Johnny.

You're happy now, Jonas? Yes.

- Hey!
- Thanks for finding her.

My pleasure. I got lucky.

That's a nice kid
you got there.

Father around?
I'd like to meet him.

No,
he's not living here.

Oh.

Well, small town. Maybe we'll run into
each other again, you know?

- Yeah.
- Have a little coffee.

Okay. Thank you.

Hey. Great that so many could
make it today. Eight students. Very Good.

Today I thought we should take a look
at job application forms. And then...

What's this interruption...

Giovanni here has broken the
first commandment of the workplace...

Don't be late!

There are some old faces here, it's nice.
Hello, Mary. Thank you for coming again.

Those who came the motivation seminar
at my cabin last year will know...

...that I'm an avid fisherman.

Getting a job is really
the same as fishing.

You have to throw out your line
to get a bite.

Now I'm going to call up an
old friend of mine: Arne.

Arne is the employer and he'll
be interviewing you.

So, down to business..

Are there any volunteers here?
Is there anyone who would like to...

Come on, let's give it a sh*t.
Come on! Yes, please.

Thank you.

Hey, Giovanni!
Why should we choose you for the job?

Do I talk to you
or talk to the dummy?

Hey, Giovanni.
What are your strengths?

My strong qualities?

I'd say observation's one
of my finer qualities.

Observing you, I'd say
you look a little stiff.

Can't we just have a little fun?
All right, let's take a little break.

Giovanni,
Can I get two minutes with you?

Two minutes, please.

I want you to start on
a course called "Second Chance".

What's that?

It's
a six-months daily course

for immigrants that struggle to
adapt to Norwegian society.

Six months?
You gotta be joking.

I never joke when it comes to
integration. It's what you need.

Wait a minute,
are you telling me

I gotta spend half a year learning
how to be a f*cking immigrant?

Do you want me to
call the police, then?

And tell them
about the bribe?

Okay

Hey, mister.

Mister.

Do you want to come for a beer?
A Friday beer?

With us?

No, thanks. I gotta pass.
It's a big TV night.

Sure, okay.

On second thought,
one drink.

What the hell.

- Sure. Okay.
- Yeah.

340 Kronor a day from the government
to live on... how do you get by?

Only get 340 kroners
per day from NAV.

It's supposed to pay for my mobile
and my electricity bills and food and...

You don't have any expenses for food!
You eat my food every day!

It is the principle I'm talking about.
How are we supposed to live on 340?

- We didn't order this!
- It's from that table there.

- You just drink beer all day, every day..
- Well, I say the system's f*cked...

Shut up.
Now let's play some darts.

Do you want to come play...

Dart?

No, no thanks. I'll stay here
and hold the table.

Ok.
Wait for me, I'm up first...

Hi.

Please.

Thanks for the champagne.

My pleasure.

Are you here with friends?

Friends...

More like
business associates.

Okay, so what kind
of business is that?

Torgeir over there, isn't he signing on?

It's that obvious?

I'm not gonna be
at NAV too long,

just getting some information. I'm
opening a nightclub, actually.

Oh, that's nice.

Yeah.

And you? What do you do?

I used to work in Oslo,

but now I hope
to get a job here.

But it's not so easy in this county.
So, we'll see.

Well, there's a lot of new foreigners
in town, so maybe they'll be hiring soon.

To teachers.

Oh!

Nice place you got here.

I used to be in
the bar business myself.

Well, you can buy the bar if you like.
I'm sick of cold weather and making no money.

I'm moving to Alicante.

We should talk.

A hundred and fifty.

A hundred and fifty?

That's what it costs.

Sorry, I have to go.
Something just happened.

There's been
a wolf on the farm.

- I'll take you.
- Are you sure?

Yeah.

Keep it.

Oh!

- It was the wolf!
- I know.

We're gonna
get that wolf.

I know you're from the city.
You should turn away.

It's okay.

The wolf is a real problem. We've got to
find him and put an end to this.

We know how to hunt, and we have r*fles...

Remember what happened when you tried to
hunt down that wolf last year

- It was an accident.
- You know it was.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Why are we sitting around talking when
we should be out k*lling this f*cking thing?

ln this country it's more of a crime to sh**t
wolves than it is to sh**t people...

Bullshit.
Are you kidding me?

What are we waiting for? I'm telling
you right now, I'm not gonna...

Come in.

Good evening.

I heard about the wolf, so I thought I'd
pop in and see that everything was okay.

And no-one's planning on doing
anything stupid, are they?

I think I'll hang on to this
for a few days.

Excuse me, but aren't people allowed to
defend their own homes in this country?

Unlicensed
k*lling of wild animals

is strictly
forbidden in Norway.

And I hope everyone here knows that.

- Can I take a waffle?
- Yes, or course. Here you are.

Have a good evening.

Sorry, Lily.

So, you guys really know
how to find this wolf or what?

What, are you planning to run it over
with your lawnmower there?

You guys in or out?

We're in, but...

Maybe it's a bit dark now.

Yeah, it's real cold.

Oh, I see.

What do you mean, "I see"?

You talk real big, but when it comes
down to it, you're chicken.

Wait, did he just call us chickens?

Is this really necessary?

You can't trudge around
in the woods like that...

...Wearing Italian shoes like yours!

Just look at the snow.

There's something
wrong with these things!

Have we got any snowshoes in the barn?

- Looks like the wolf is headed north.
- Do you really think this is a wise idea?

- I'm just thinking about what the sheriff said.
- The sheriff's at home in bed.

I just think it's a bad idea to head too
deep into the woods with this new guy here.

- Since when did you become so sensible?
- Come on then.

Check the bearing... the wolf must be
less than a kilometer away. Come on.

You're getting the hang of it now.

Real funny.

You fat f*ck, you.

Look here.
These are all new. Come on.

Could have
been in the Bahamas,

Fort Lauderdale.

No. I gotta go to a place where
if your d*ck freezes off,

you don't even
notice it for three days.

I'm telling ya...

Agggh!

f*cking hell! Agggh!

Goddamit!

- For Christ's sake!
- I'm bleeding like hell!

Sorry! I didn't see you...
It's pitch dark out here!

- You're sorry? Dammit!
- It's just an accident! I'm sorry!

- What the hell was that?
- f*ck it! Now I'm going to bleed to death you idiot!

Bandage me up, for f*ck's sake!

Torgeir, you sh*t me! Agggh!

It's just a graze, you'll be fine!
I just clipped you there!

You sh*t me, you stupid idiot!

- Do something then!
- I'm trying to!

There you go. I just have to stop
any more blood coming out...

Did I hear a sh*t?

It was just an accident, but it's fine...

Look who I ran into while you guys
were playing cowboys and Indians.

f*cking hell...

How about that?

Bloody hell.

One more rock
should do it, huh?

- Shh. What was that?
- Probably just a deer or something.

Hello? Is anyone there?

We gotta get
out of these woods!

I can't go home on this leg.

Wait a minute. I used to go fishing with
the guy from the job centre here.

Johansen's lodge, I think it's
over there. We can stay there.

What are you doing?

- Ouch!
- Shh.

Where the hell is the key?

Holy sh*t.

I found it.

I know what we need now.

- You got it?
- Yes.

That's a good idea.

There's booze in that.

Yes, homemade.

That's some Norwegian cuisine
I could learn to love.

Mmm.

Damn, I'm hungry...

You should call room service.

What did you do
back in the States?

I had a restaurant,
a little bar.

I get the feeling you know a thing or two...

...getting rid of evidence...

Does a restauranteur usually need to
know how to dispose of a body?

You kiddin'?

You ever seen
the Cooking Channel?

It can get pretty rough.

Holy sh*t! Holy sh*t!

- Naked ladies?
- Yes.

- Johansen?
- Yes.

- Look at him.
- Check this one.

She can't be more than 15 or 16 years old.

- Doesn't that girl and her mother run the school?
- And Johansen is a government employee!

That's interesting.

- I can't bear to look at these, they're sick!
- Yeah it's disgusting!

And to think he's a government employee..
Yup. Crazy...

Look who's here.

Be cool, okay?

Follow my lead.

Oh, hello.

Hi.

Have you been on a long trip, boys?

Just out enjoying
your lovely scenery.

Do not know if you heard yet...

But we've had some reports in
of illegal hunting in the area.

Illegal hunting...

That's crazy.

But the thing is, we have a witness this time.

Antonsen the caretaker reckons he saw some
illegal hunting in Mesnali yesterday.

If you have something to say,
it might be wise to do so now.

We don't really have anything to say
because we didn't see anything.

So, Antonsen?
Were these the guys you saw yesterday?

- No.
- No?!

No, it must have been some younger guys.

- You said you saw the Lien brothers.
- My eyesight isn't what it once was...

It must have been
some young people from Oslo.

Oslo kids are the worst.

So, now that we've cleared up
that little misunderstanding,

why don't we all go
inside and have a drink?

Mmm.

Thanks for the offer,
but we have to get off.

Always good to
help the authorities.

Especially when
they're neighbors.

How ya doin'?

We don't have an appointment today, do we?

I think we do.

If you think you can come here today with
a new bribe, then you are very wrong.

Yeah, well,
that's my appointment.

What is this?

Where did you get hold of this?

The real question is,
what am I gonna do with them?

Is this blackmail?

Definitely.

Where I come from, these pictures could be
a problem for a public official,

but maybe that's just
"cultural differences".

Could be a problem
here as well. Absolutely.

Okay.

So, how about I make the pictures disappear
and you do a little something for me.

Is this about the New Start course? I can
get you off, it's no problem.

Nah.

I wanna take that course
and this is gonna be my teacher.

She...she's been interviewed here...

She's not
working here, you know.

Is that gonna be a problem?

No, no, no, no, no.

All right.

So now all we gotta do is take care of
the license for my sports bar.

Yeah, you know, as I said,
that's a very complicated...

I understand.

Wait, wait, wait, I can...
I can call a guy. I can...

Call someone who works in restaurant licensing.

Listen, last time,
you mentioned

something about
financial motivation...

Yeah, I did.

But now, this is all the
motivation we need, pally.

Make that f*cking phone call.

Yep.

What do you
think of this joint?

Looks nice.

Good enough to own?

Of course it's
good enough to own.

What do you think?

Well, I bought it.

I need a partner.
I'm thinking about you.

Me?

You bought it?

Yep.

Take a look.

What...what will this cost me?

Nothing.

You sign at the bottom
and you're a bar owner.

You're f*cking with me?

You're not
sh1tting me right now?

You're the best f*cking
immigrant I've ever met!

I'll take that as a yes.

You bet
your ass it's a yes.

Torgeir Lien.

I'm a bar owner now!

- Congratulations.
- Thank you, sir!

Why don't you pour us
a little celebration libation?

Sure, Giovanni.

Look at me,
I'm a bar owner!

This is a new start, Giovanni.

Call me Johnny.

Okay,
I'll call you Johnny.

To new beginnings.

New beginnings.

- And early f*cking spring.
- Yeah.

"To my number one fan, Frank."

Who is Frank?

Somebody I used to know.

In another life.

Yes...
Sheriff Laila Hovland. Lillehammer.

I would like to run a background
check on a Giovanni Henriksen.

Giovanni, yes.

Oh?