02x08 - Well, Goodbye Forever

[bunniefuu]

Hiya, I've got an appointment
with George. Buzz me in.

I'm afraid I can't do that.

What? Why not?

[GEORGE MUTTERS] I don't wanna do it.

[DENISE] You explain. I'm not
doing your dirty work for you.

Jen. Hi, how's it going?

Yeah. What's going on? Let me in.

Yeah, uh, physical
fraternising with patients

is a breach of the code of conduct,

which Denise very kindly reminded me of.

H-How does she know?

Every treatment room
is equipped with CCTV.

But it was inside my mind.

[PHONE BEEPS]

[BREATHING HEAVILY]

[BREATHING HEAVILY]

[SIGHS]

Yeah, right, okay. So,
you've been fired, then?

Um.

[STAMMERS] No, you've been fired,

and then they're finding me a new coach.

A really important step
in any journey, Jen,

is learning to take
responsibility for your own action.

He said it was all your fault.

[STAMMERS] What?

- Well, technically, you kissed me, so...
- Are you 15?

Regardless, your contract
with us has been terminated.

What does that mean?

You're off the course.

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

[MOUTHING] Oh, hi. [MUTTERS]

[SIGHS]

♪ I'm a k*ller ♪
♪ Venom perfected ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

- [MEGAN SINGING]
- [KASH] What do you mean you can't do it?

♪ Courageous ♪

Right. Okay. You tell me
how I'm supposed to represent

post-industrial urban decay
without a smoke machine?

- Hello?
- Can I borrow a lighter?

You're not gonna blow
anything up, are you?

- No.
- [MEGAN] I really think my character

would feel the need to
drop split in this scene.

If she gets to do drop splits, I
should get to do drop splits too.

No drop splits!

You don't have the groin elasticity.

[ADE] Kash, I can't do this.

- I think I'm dying. [PANTING]
- Uh, breathe into this.

The oboe hasn't shown up, the
costumes still need to be hemmed,

and we don't have the right
cables for the sound system.

- [SIGHS]
- [EXHALES HEAVILY]

This show's gonna be a
disaster. [GROANS] Oh, not now.

- [GROANS, PANTS]
- [ADE RETCHES]

[BELL RINGS]

Ow! My groin. [GROANS]

Why did you put expl*sives
in the watermelon?

- There are no bombs in the fruit.
- Oh, f*ck this.

I am not time's bitch!

[BREATHING DEEPLY]

[GROANS, PANTS] Hey?

I can go back again.

Can I borrow a lighter?

[POP SONG PLAYING]

Randall,

are you ready to touch the heavens

to achieve what countless
generations of artists

have tried but failed to reach?

Perfection.

- Yeah, go on.
- [LAUGHS]

♪ I'm a boss, bitch ♪

[CARRIE] Can you at
least get your money back?

No. They said I violated their
inappropriate behaviour policy.

Oh, that's not fair.

If you're paying them that much,

you should at least be able to
make out with them a little bit.

Right? [SIGHS]

George said it's fine though.

'Cause I already know what
I need to do to get a power.

Twelve f*cking grand
for that deep insight.

I should've just microdosed
and read a fridge magnet.

Uh, what do you think he meant?

Uh, he said something about moving on

- from childhood trauma or whatever.
- Oh.

[JIZZLORD] Do you think
he meant your dead dad?

[KITTENS MEWING]

Jizz, you have to find
homes for these guys.

The flat's not big enough.

It's not even big enough for us.
You're sleeping in the bath again.

Exactly. I don't belong anywhere.

I can't abandon my
boys to the same fate.

But it's cruel to keep them here.

And besides, the landlord won't
let us keep them because...

[ALL] All landlords are evil.

So, um, do you think George is right?

You're stuck in your childhood trauma.

Only adults get their powers.

I've been listening to this
psychology podcast and some...

Yeah, I do think he's right.

There is one event from my childhood
I've never been able to get over.

- Your dad dying.
- When Miss Vallance didn't cast me

in the Year 5 production of
Jesus Christ Superstar.

- What?
- It's so obvious now that I see it.

I really don't think that's it...

There's only one way to
undo that emotional scar.

[FOOTSTEPS]

Cast me in your musical.

No. It's my baby. My expensive baby.

- I'm not letting you inside my baby.
- [JEN] Oh, come on.

I'm loud and desperate for attention.

I'm perfect for musical theatre.

No, you'll just mess it up,

and I'll have to go
back and undo everything.

[BOTH] You can go back again?

Isn't it great?

We can't fail. [SIGHS]

But we're not doing this to be
perfect. It's just a bit of fun.

Yeah, and people say that I frequently

bring a sense of fun to proceedings.

If I give you a role, will you shut up?

- Yep.
- Okay. Um, okay, here.

You can play my wise old master.

- [SIGHS]
- [CARRIE] Clark has a point.

Just because you have your power back

doesn't necessarily
mean you should use it.

Well, you can help me avoid using
it by being my stage manager.

Use your voice, remember?

What? [GIGGLES] Like,
telling people what to do?

- Mm-hmm.
- Oh, I don't know.

But you're good at real
things. I'm just the ideas guy.

No, I need my hands free so I can
focus on birthing this art baby.

Oh, okay.

[KASH] It's our opening and
closing night. It has to be perfect.

This is one ugly baby.

Hello, little fella. [COOS]

Oh, our cat just d*ed.

We're looking to find
another one to spoil.

Mmm. So, you admit you
can't keep a cat alive?

Well-Well, he was 21. [CHUCKLES]

Well, I can't have you
project your grief onto my boy.

It's not good for his mental health.

- Ah.
- [KITTEN MEWS]

[MEGAN] Look at me. It's fine.

[CARRIE] Cast! All together now!
Howdy! Over here. [CHUCKLES] Yeah.

I think, and I'm r... I'm
really sorry if I'm wrong,

but I-I think you're all
due on stage, like, soon.

- [CHATTERING]
- [ADE GROANS, WHEEZES]

Excuse me.

- [GROANS]
- [CARRIE] Excuse me.

L-Like, now...

- [ADE WHEEZES]
- ... could... could be good.

- Rub the bump.
- [GREGOR CHATTERING]

[MEGAN] No. Right, louder then.

Here! f*ck off. Get
your arses on that stage!

Thank you. [CHUCKLES]

Maybe I should just channel
someone more assertive.

No! How are you going to learn to
be f*cking independent bitch Carrie

if you're always
channelling someone else?

So, you're the one
always making her do it.

What are you doing here?

I'm working! I'm the official
seamstress, I'll have you know.

And I'm still not talking to you, so...

Well, I'm not talking
to you either, so...

[SCOFFS]

Jen, I think you should
tell her about the clinic.

I...

[SIGHS] I got kicked out of the clinic.

- What did you do?
- What did I do?

- [CARRIE] It wasn't her fault.
- Yeah, I'm innocent.

Well, no. Okay, I-I did...

I hooked up with my coach. [SIGHS]

Mary, really. Transference.

Very common in these
mentor-patient relationships.

I've been listening
to this psychology...

Oh, go on, tell me off. I'm
irresponsible. I always do this.

What a waste of money.
thr*aten to abort me, et cetera.

[BREATHES HEAVILY]

I have to go.

So much for sympathy.

She loves cats. [CHUCKLES]

What are the first steps you should take

when your cat displays
early signs of feline AIDS?

- [KITTEN MEWS]
- [MUTTERS]

[ANNOUNCER] Ladies and gentlemen,
the show is about to begin.

[SHUSHES]

[AUDIENCE MEMBER COUGHS]

Oh, sh*t.

♪ It's a tough city ♪
♪ A tough, tough city ♪

♪ Crime is rife and the
streets are gritty ♪

♪ Danger lurks around every corner ♪

♪ If you're a visitor ♪
♪ Oh, we gotta warn ya ♪

♪ Get the f*ck out of Milton Keynes ♪

♪ The sun goes down and
the place gets mean ♪

♪ Not every town is afraid to sleep ♪

♪ With the doors unlocked ♪
♪ And the g*ns uncocked ♪

♪ Milton Keynes ♪

[MEGAN, CLARK, GREGOR GASP]

- Oh, no! Criminals.
- [MEGAN SHRIEKS]

♪ How can we go on ♪

♪ We've suffered way too long ♪

♪ We need somebody to save us ♪

♪ Someone who's strong and courageous ♪

We need the law.

We need better street lighting.

We need to address social inequality

and produce lasting structural change.

No. You need a hero.

[JEN] Jesus Christ.

♪ I used to be normal ♪

♪ He was such a loser boy ♪

- [SHOUTS]
- ♪ But now I've got a purpose ♪

♪ A purpose ♪

♪ A reason to be ♪

- ♪ A hero ♪
- ♪ Hero ♪

- ♪ And that's what I wanna be ♪
- ♪ What I want to be ♪

- ♪ A hero... ♪
- ♪ A hero ♪

♪ ... that people all adore ♪

[EXHALES DEEPLY]

♪ A hero is so...
[CRACKS] ... much more ♪

[PANTS] Wait.

Wait, wait. That was off. So pitchy.

Um... uh...

[PANTS] I mean... [GROANS]

♪ A hero is so much, much ♪

♪ Much, much ♪

That's it.

♪ A hero that's so much more ♪

♪ Than what I was ♪

♪ Before ♪

[KASH PANTING]

No, let's take it from the top.

["BABY BYE BYE" PLAYING]

Nope! Too old!

♪ Baby, bye-bye ♪
♪ Baby, bye-bye ♪

I think it's gonna be
a private education.

[MEWS]

Yeah.

Uh, okay, okay. You're on in 30 seconds.

Yeah, I'm just gonna nip
out and grab a coffee.

What? No. Uh, I'd prefer
it if you didn't do that.

Relax. We've got ages.

[KASH] Behold the awesome
power of The Wriggler.

♪ Worms is what I do ♪
♪ Worms is what I know ♪

♪ Riding worms around like a rodeo ♪

[APPLAUSE]

[PHONE RINGING]

- Am I back on the course?
- [GEORGE] Jen, thank God. Please help.

That's a w*apon! A w*apon!

- Can you please come and call her off?
- Call who off?

[MEGAN] Oh, no! A r*pist!

- [KASH] Dynamite Lad.
- [MOANS]

Explode the r*pist!

[MOANS, GROANS]

- [KASH SIGHS]
- [AUDIENCE LAUGHS]

[GROANS]

[MEGAN] Oh, no! A r*pist!

[MOANS]

Dynamite Lad, give the
r*pist a stern talking-to.

[MEGAN MOANS]

[ADE] Uh, we'll let you off this time,

but d-don't do it again.

- What?
- Uh...

[CARRIE SIGHS] That's not the cue.

[RANDALL] Should I detonate it?

- Uh... Um... sorry.
- [SNORES]

[APPLAUSE]

- Such a good script.
- Yeah, when you came out as a worm.

- It's the specificity.
- I know. Yeah, yeah.

I went out there, and I
channelled the character.

[CHATTERING CONTINUES]

See, this is exactly why I didn't
want you to use your power tonight.

You'll never be satisfied.

I just wanna do something
perfectly for once.

I don't wanna f*ck up
again like I always do.

I'm not perfect. You
gonna start rewinding me?

No.

Unless you want me to. You were
a bit flat on that last number.

[SIGHS]

[KASH] Only a bit flat!

Life isn't a rehearsal, Kash.

What does that mean?

[MARY] Come on out. Come on out, I said!

[GEORGE] Hello, police?

- Mum! Mum, Mum.
- [MARY] I wanna talk to them. Call them!

- Hey, whoa, Mum, put the hurley down.
- [GEORGE] Oh, thank God. Jen.

Jennifer, please get out of the
way so I can b*at this man...

- She's insane.
- You're f*cking right, I am!

No one takes advantage of my daughter.

- She kissed me, technically.
- Oh, for Christ's sake.

Can you not move your
lips out of the way?

She's had a sh*t time of it, and
she's got absolutely nothing going on.

You're having a go at him, not me.

She's young, and stupid, and vulnerable.

I expect her to f*ck up. But you?

You should have enough hair on
your arse to know right from wrong.

Yeah, and I want my money
back. You promised me a power.

It's not rocket science,
Jen. You're smart.

- You can figure it out.
- Just tell me what to do.

Tell her to put that stick down first.

Oh. Is this... Is this your car?

No, don't! She's got her MOT on Tuesday.

- Ah.
- [GEORGE] Please, please.

Hold on, hold on!

Tell me what to do.

You have to say goodbye
to your dad. Permanently.

You've got to move on.

Bullshit.

- I did what you said.
- [GRUNTS]

Yeah. I don't give a f*ck.

[GRUNTING]

- Go on, girl! Now, go on!
- [SCREAMS]

Come on! Yes! [GRUNTING]

Whoa! Okay, that's enough.
That's enough! Stop it! Come on.

Come on, run! Run,
run, run, run! [SCREAMS]

- [GRUNTING]
- Yeah! f*ck you, you w*nk*r!

- Stupid car! Hate you! [CHUCKLES]
- [JEN] Sick pervert!

[MARY] Yeah, your car is shite!

[JIZZLORD] Carrie, Carrie, Carrie.

They're trying to make
me pay for eight tickets,

but what if I just cover
their little eyes like this?

You haven't given them away? Jizz.

I'm not gonna give them away
to strangers. That's unnatural.

You're wearing teats.

They need their family.

I-I don't want these guys
to spend their whole lives

wondering where they belong.

- But...
- They're staying with me,

and I'm gonna name them.

Don't.

Milk bag.

- Seat belt.
- Please stop naming them.

- I... I really think it's...
- The fat one.

- Brick!
- [GROANS]

- [JIZZLORD] David...
- Robert Jizzlord Clutton,

shut up and listen to me!

We adopted you, and we love you.

Someone will adopt these
kittens and love them.

You belong with us. Do you understand?

[STAMMERS] I...

Now, as soon as this musical is over,

you march your lily white ass home

and find owners for
those adorable munchkins,

or so help me God.

[GULPS] Yes, sir.

Oh, I treasure our friendship.

Yes.

[SNIFFS]

Okay, let's work the
problem. Move 18C up to 18A.

Where is she?

- [CARRIE] Anyone got eyes on Jen?
- [MEGAN] Negative.

Okay. Megan fills in.
Let's get her in costume.

Clark, get me a Sharpie. Cue cards.

Let's go, people. Look alive.

- I'm here. [STAMMERS] I'm here, I'm here.
- Oh, thank God.

- [SIGHS] Okay.
- Why you disappointed?

Well, it's just that I feel alive
for the first time in my life.

Making decisions, being in charge.

I thought the chaos would consume me,

but it's only made me more powerful.

I can do anything. I'm never gonna die!

- That's my bitch. Mm-hmm.
- Now, this bitch needs you in costume.

- You wanna get your power, right?
- Huh?

Performing. Miss Vallance.
Jesus Christ Superstar.

Getting over your childhood
trauma. Keep up, Jen.

- Yeah, of course.
- You still think this will work, right?

Yeah. Yeah, definitely.

[APPLAUSE]

Where are the arm holes?

- [JEN GROANING]
- [KASH] Master!

[GROANS] It was Flame-O.

He broke in using his incredible
flame powers and sh*t me.

[KASH] You'll be okay. I can save you.

No. You...

[GROANS] You are my most
smart and attractive pupil.

The city needs you!

- But you can't die.
- [JEN GROANS]

You're only one day
away from retirement.

[STAMMERS] Yes, yes. I'm only
one day away from retirement

- as a wizard or something, is it?
- Jen.

[SCOFFS]

[GRUNTS, PANTS]

But you can't die. You're only
one day away from retirement,

and I'm not ready to
face Flame-O on my own.

What if I fail?

Then you will learn.

Our mistakes teach us,

but only if we are brave
enough to make them.

- [KITTENS MEW]
- [AUDIENCE MURMURS]

f*ck, that's deep.

[JEN] Huh?

[WHISPERS] It's your line.

- Oh, sh*t.
- [CLEARS THROAT]

[JEN GROANS]

You're right, Master.

If I wanna become the
hero I was born to be,

I have to let you go.

I will mourn your passing,
but I have to move on.

["YOURS & MINE" PLAYING]

[BREATHES SHAKILY]

Wait... Or I couldn't stick around,
you know, as a ghost or something?

You know? Just-Just hanging around.

- No.
- [GRUNTS] Y... you don't have to do this.

You could move on, and
I can still be here.

- It makes total sense story-wise.
- Jen.

No... [SHOUTS] I don't know why
everyone is so f*cking obsessed

with me dying!

I don't want to die.
I'm not going anywhere.

Why do I have to go? It's
not fair. It's not... [SIGHS]

It's not f*cking fair.

♪ From where it comes ♪

Lights down.

♪ And where it falls ♪

[APPLAUSE]

[SNEEZES]

[MUSIC ENDS]

- [MOANING]
- Let her go, Flame-O.

[GRUNTS] Never!

[MOANING CONTINUES]

There's something I have to do.

[MOUTHS] All right.

I figured out why it didn't explode.

I forgot to prime the detonator
charge before we closed him up.

Okay. So, do that.

But it's all sealed up.

Then get him to phase
his hand in and do it.

I'm not sticking my hand in there.

[SCOFFS] Let's go, Jen.

It's just a little finger.

- [MOANING]
- What does it feel like?

- [RANDALL] It's like a switch.
- [ADE] I can't find it.

[RANDALL] It's right down
the back. Root around.

As we speak, my fearless vigilantes

are giving your henchmen a pounding.

[AUDIENCE GASPS, MURMURS]

[GRUNTING]

[AUDIENCE GASPS, MURMURS]

[MOANS]

Yeah. I mean, that'll do it.

[AUDIENCE MURMURING]

[LAUGHS]

[LAUGHING]

We've really f*cked up, guys.

- Shall we just go get pizza?
- [MEGAN] Yeah.

- [AUDIENCE MEMBER] Is it over?
- But what about the city?

It's just Milton
Keynes. Who gives a sh*t?

[GROANS] Sorry for being a d*ck.

It's gonna be hard for me,

but I promise to try my best
to f*ck up in the future.

I think you'll manage it.

["GUIDING LIGHT" PLAYING]

♪ One foot in front of the other, yeah ♪
♪ On our way ♪

Whoo!

[DOORBELL RINGS]

♪ And I feel all right ♪
♪ I feel all right ♪

♪ I feel all right ♪
♪ I feel all right ♪

[MARY] I'll just...

I'll, um...

[MUSIC ENDS]

Bye.

Are you sure?

Okay.

[INHALES]

[EXHALES]

Oh.

It's time, isn't it?

I'm sick of all your dad jokes, so...

Jesus. They're not that bad, are they?

[CHUCKLES]

[CHUCKLES]

It's not that I don't
wanna talk to you anymore.

- I do. I really, really do.
- I know.

- I know. It's okay, pet.
- [BREATHES SHAKILY]

["LOST WITHOUT YOU" PLAYING]

Maybe you can just stay a
bit longer. Just a little bit.

You haven't seen me do
anything yet. It's just...

I can be better. I want you
to see a better version of me.

♪ To love someone so much ♪

I think this version's perfect.

[SOBS]

Knock, knock.

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

Who's there?

Toodle.

Toodle who?

♪ But I think I'm lost without you ♪

He's gone.

I'm so sorry. He's gone.

Come on. [KISSES]

I didn't know what to do,
so I made some sandwich...

[WHIMPERS]

Aw.

Oh.

Oh.

[KISSES]

♪ Standing on the platform ♪
♪ Watching you go ♪

- [KITTEN MEWS]
- Look after my boy.

[CHUCKLES]

[CHILD] Thank you.

[MUSIC ENDS]

[SIGHS]

[CARRIE] Your mum's right. The
void is a good place for it.

Yeah, and it's just pure coincidence

she had an old microwave to get rid of.

"Oh, I know you've been through
something emotionally devastating,

but please think of my white goods."

[CARRIE CHUCKLES]

- [CHATTERING]
- [ADE CHUCKLES]

- [MEGAN] You're a funny guy.
- You okay?

[ADE] Uh, that wasn't meant as a joke.

Well, is anything...

I don't want to jinx it, but I have
felt a little tingling in my fingertips.

That's definitely a symptom of getting
your power. I read it somewhere.

Try something. You can do it.

[BREATHES SHAKILY]

- [SIGHS]
- [CARRIE] Use your hands.

[BREATHES DEEPLY]

[GROANS, SIGHS]

[KASH] Don't worry. Try again!

[SIGHS]

[GRUNTS]

[JEN EXHALES SHARPLY]

Keep trying, keep trying.

[JEN SIGHS]

[GASPING]

[ALL GASP]

[CHEERING]

- [LAUGHING]
- Yay!

- [JEN] Oh, my God.
- [SHOUTS] Yes! Come on!

I've got my power. [CHUCKLES]

Nah, this was one of mine. Sorry, Jen.

- What?
- Oh, it was on a timer, not a switch.

[CARRIE GROANS]

[RANDALL] My bad.

Oh, Jen.

Hey.

No, it's fine.

It's fine. It's fine.

- Where are you going?
- [JEN] I'm gonna throw this in the void.

- Want us to come with you...
- No, it's fine.

I want to be alone.

[DOOR OPENS, CLOSES]

What's going in?

- Treasured memories?
- Five quid.

[PHONES BEEP]

Where does it go?

- Don't know. Somewhere else.
- Somewhere good?

Just somewhere else.

If you wanna dive in, I can look
the other way for an extra 20.

No, just these.

Right. Go on.

["CUT YOUR BANGS" PLAYING]

[SIGHS]

♪ Last night, I saw your face ♪
♪ In the hallowed light ♪

♪ You were standing taller ♪
♪ Than the mountainside ♪

♪ Your long hair flowed down ♪
♪ In blues and whites ♪

[CARRIE] Jen!

♪ I just stood there ♪
♪ Bathed in the quiet ♪

Jen?

I know you said you
wanted to be alone, but...

That's f*cking stupid!

Are you okay?

- No.
- Come on.

We're coming.

[JEN PANTS]

♪ When you lie to me ♪
♪ It's in the small stuff ♪

[INHALES, SIGHS]

[SIGHS]

[MUSIC ENDS]

Sometimes you do everything right,

and the universe still doesn't
hold up its end of the bargain.

God, if I ever meet the
universe, I'm gonna...

Let's go home. Get a cuppa, hmm?

You know, I don't know why
she's throwing this away.

I mean, it's perfectly good.

- Just chuck it, Kash. Oh, my God.
- No, but it still works. Look.

Ow! [GROANS] Whoa!

["BLACK HOLE BABY" PLAYING]

[CLICKS TONGUE]

Uh, guys?

[STAMMERS]

Teeny tiny problem.

- ♪ And now I feel so ♪
- ♪ It's getting dark ♪

- ♪ Welcome back to black hole, baby ♪
- ♪ Welcome back ♪

[MUSIC STOPS]

[GROANS, PANTS]

You've got to be sh1tting me.

- ♪ Welcome back to black hole, baby ♪
- ♪ Welcome back ♪

♪ Welcome back ♪
♪ Welcome back ♪

♪ So congrats, you've earned this trophy ♪
♪ Welcome back ♪

♪ Welcome back ♪
♪ Welcome back ♪

- ♪ Welcome back to black hole, honey ♪
- ♪ Welcome back ♪

♪ Welcome back ♪
♪ Welcome back ♪

- ♪ Welcome back to black hole, honey ♪
- ♪ Welcome back ♪

♪ Welcome back ♪
♪ Welcome back ♪

- ♪ Hold my hand 'cause the end is coming ♪
- ♪ Welcome back ♪

♪ Welcome back ♪