♪ I'm Marvin the Tap-Dancing Horse ♪
(Hooves clicking) ♪ He can dance, he can dance
♪ Just shine that spotlight on me ♪
♪ Every show must have a star ♪
♪ He can dance, he can dance
♪ He can dance he can dance ♪
♪
♪ When the lights go down
♪ I'm ready to perform
♪ This is my home upon the stage ♪
♪ I'll dance for you
♪ And we'll perform for you, too ♪
♪ I'm Marvin the Tap-Dancing Horse ♪
♪ He can dance, he can dance he can dance, yeah! ♪
(Music playing from tape)
♪
Hmph.
♪
(Music warping and slowing)
(Giggling)
That's an exciting routine.
The music's not supposed to be this slow.
♪
Ah, that's more like it.
♪
What?
(Gasping)
(Speeding up)
Look out!
Whoa! Oof!
Marvin, are you okay?
I know you like to finish your act with a bang, Marvin,
but that may be going a little too far.
Isn't it time we threw that old thing out?
Not if you want music for your show.
Hmm.
What we need is live music.
Real musicians with real instruments?
Yep. When I was on Broadway in Whoa, Dolly,
we had a -piece orchestra.
Jack would never spring for musicians.
Oh, it doesn't have to be that big.
We could find a smaller group that'll work for cheap.
STRIPESNow, that should be a snap.
We get starving bands knocking at our door every day.
All I've got to do is make a few phone calls
to my old show-biz friends.
I can and will find a band before the end of the day.
Um, Eddy, could you give me a hand with the dialling?
Sure thing, Marvin.
You do? You've got a group?
And they'll work for chicken feed?
A -chicken gospel choir.
Mmm.
Uh, no, we'd better not.
They'd never last. Thanks anyway.
Spoilsport.
Sure, an all-girls' swing band sounds great.
We don't have much money, but I'm sure we can "swing" a deal.
(Laughing)
(Dial tone humming)
Hello? Hello?
Don't you have anyone at all who's musical?
(Voice murmuring on phone) A ferret.
You have a musical ferret?
(Voice murmuring on phone)
Oh!
Yes, yeah?
He's trying to find us a band.
Oh! MARVINDoes he play an instrument?
(Voice murmuring on phone) No? Are you sure?
(Voice murmuring on phone) Harmonica? Bongo drums?
How about a kazoo?
Can he even bang two garbage-can lids together?
(Voice murmuring on phone)
Not without help.
Oh well, thanks anyway.
(Groaning)
It's okay, Marvin.
You gave it your best sh*t.
Oh no, I'm not licked yet.
I promised I'd get us a real band, and I will.
I've got one more number to call.
Eddy, get my old pal Hildy on the line.
Yeah!
Hiya, Hildy? It's Marvin.
Listen, we need a band up here who'll work cheap.
You got anyone who can fit the bill?
(Hildy murmuring on phone) Really?
Well, that sounds great! Send them right away!
Thanks, Hildy!
Ladies and gentlemen, we have a band!
Bravo. Yay, Marvin!
Well done, Marvin.
What kind of band is it?
Now, now, you'll just have to wait and see.
But you won't have to wait long; they'll be here tomorrow.
Tomorrow? (Trumpeting)
I'll believe it when I see it.
You're sure this band works for nothing, Marvin?
Well, almost nothing.
Almost?
All they need is some fresh fish
and a big block of ice in their dressing room.
Ice? What for?
(Honking)
(Tires screeching)
Ladies and gentlemen, it is my pleasure
to present to you the Penguins Five!
Penguins?
(Squawking)
Penguins.
Ugh.
Fish, ice.
It all makes sense now.
MARVINDon't worry, they'll be great.
I bet no other carnival in the whole country
has an all-penguin band.
(Penguins squawking)
There's probably a reason for that.
♪
Little pests.
But they look so nice in their tuxedos, don't you think?
I wonder what instruments they play.
(Penguin squawking)
Oh! Oh! I beg your pardon!
Here you go, one block of ice.
(Penguins squawking)
You're welcome.
When are we going to hear them play, Marvin?
Just let them get settled first.
You can't rush artists, you know.
(Slapping sounds)
Yes?
(Penguin squawking)
Ah, the fish.
Eddy! EDDYComing!
OTHERSEw!
Ugh! What a stench!
(Penguins squawking)
Whoa! Oof.
Better get some more, Eddy.
They seem pretty hungry from their trip.
(Sighing) Musicians.
You know, you remind me of a chicken I once knew.
(Penguin squawking)
♪
I find it hard to believe these birds are real musicians.
What if they aren't any good?
Oh! What'll we do then?
(Squawking)
♪
Ah!
Oof!
Don't worry.
They'll be great. You have my word.
I hope so.
(Penguin squawking)
(Burping)
♪
(Sighing)
So how's the band?
Who knows?
We haven't heard them play a single note yet.
(Penguins squawking)
MARVINDon't worry.
Hildy assured me they are professionals,
and I always trust Hildy.
They'll practise soon.
(Penguins squawking)
I hope. Eddy. They want more--
I know, I know!
More fish.
Listen, you'll just have to trust me.
I promise you'll have top-notch live music for tomorrow's show
and I never break a promise.
STRIPESHey, Marvin!
DIAMONDSYoo-hoo.
MARVINGood morning, everyone.
Nice day, isn't it?
Marvin, do you know how many fish a penguin can eat in a day?
Come on, Eddy. Those little birds?
Ha. How many fish could they eat?
That many? Mmm.
Amazing birds, th-those penguins. Heh-heh.
ELIZABETHI can't take it anymore, Marvin.
That fishy smell is everywhere!
DIAMONDSShe's right, Marvin.
The whole place reeks. It's making me woozy.
And my trunk is frozen from hauling all that ice.
I'm sorry, but there's really nothing I can--
Marvin, you've got to get rid of those birds.
Their yapping kept me up all night!
Too bad they don't keep us up all night with their practising.
They still haven't played a note.
I know they're a lot of work, but Hildy promised me
and I promise you that they are brilliant musicians.
How do we know they're brilliant when no one's heard them play?
You're just going to have to trust me on this one.
Hmm.
I just don't know.
(Groaning)
I'm sorry I complained, Marvin.
I trust you.
Thank you, Eddy.
EDDYYou gave your word and I know you always keep your promises.
(Penguins squawking)
I'd better get some more fish. See ya later.
I'm sure they'll be great!
I certainly hope so.
(Penguins squawking)
(Squawking)
(Laughing and chattering)
♪
Good morning. I was just wondering
if you have your music for tonight's show.
Good. And I was thinking,
since tonight's show is, well, tonight,
it would probably be a good idea
if you actually practised the music,
so you're ready... for tonight.
Please! I'm begging you.
Our whole show depends on you.
Will you please practise now?
Please?
(Squawking)
(Banging can)
Eddy! More fish!
Boy, oh boy, this is exciting!
(Drum and cymbals crashing)
Hi, everybody.
(Drum and cymbals crashing)
Listen, I'm sorry about the penguins.
They still haven't practised-- they probably can't play at all,
but I promised you live music and I never break a promise.
You mean you... MARVINThat's right.
I'm going to play all the music for all the acts.
I know I'm not a real band, but I think it'll work out.
Marvin, that's awfully sweet of you,
but I don't think it will be necessary.
It won't?
Take a look!
(Crowd cheering)
(Gasping)
(Playing swing music)
♪
I don't believe it!
Wow.
Unbelievable!
Oh, it just makes me want to cry.
(Blowing nose)
Marvin, you were right all along.
They're fantastic!
Good work, Marvin!
I knew they'd be great.
This'll be our best show ever.
I just don't believe it!
(Crowd cheering)
♪
(Yawning)
More fish?
How's the ice? Cold enough for you?
JACKWe'll have to put up a new tent
so you can have your very own dressing room.
And take a look at this. What do you think?
(Penguins squawking)
Say, Eddy?
Yeah?
I just wanted to say thanks
for believing in the penguins and me when nobody else did.
What are friends for?
Were you really going to play all the music last night,
all by yourself?
Well, of course.
I promised everyone live music and I never break a promise.
Besides, I have had some experience.
One time I had to fill in for an entire marching band
in the Rose Bowl Parade.
Really?
Their bus broke down
and I was called in at the last minute.
The drums were no problem,
but the tuba was a little tricky to manage with hooves...
♪
Just a little lower...
and to the left-- Ahh, yeah!
That's it!
Just the person I'm looking for.
I need some help.
Sure, Jack. Anything I can do to help you--
Eddy, we're not selling out our shows.
We need something new and exciting
to grab people's attention.
Don't you want my help?
I've got showbiz savvy and horse sense.
Oh, I don't need showbiz savvy for this one;
I need some man-in-the-street advice.
Or rather boy-in-the-street.
So what do you say, Eddy?
What should we do?
Well, I, um...
ELIZABETHLook, everyone! See what I just bought?
Isn't it marvellous?
Nice.
Yeah, sure.
Fine craftsmanship.
What the heck is it?
Oh, it's the cleverest thing--
a combination toaster, radio and boot polisher.
Elizabeth, honey, you don't eat toast,
you never listen to the radio, and you don't wear boots.
Why would you buy such a thing?
When I saw the ad for it on TV, I just had to have one.
TV ads always have that effect on me.
JACKYes, of course.
That's what we need.
But you don't wear boots either, Jack.
No, no, we need to make a television commercial.
Fabulous! Stupendous!
I don't know, Jack.
Television commercials can be pretty expensive to make.
That's only if you get a real TV crew.
We can do it ourselves for cheap.
All we need is a camera and a tripod.
STRIPESA television commercial?
How ridiculous.
I hope he doesn't expect us to be in it.
You don't want to be in it?
Of course not.
I'm a stage performer.
And television is so undignified.
Undignified?
Well, then I won't be in it either.
That summer I hopped a freight train
and went west to do summer stock.
You hopped a freight train while it was moving?
Well, not exactly.
I had a ticket.
Travelled first class all the way.
JACKMarvin, Eddy!
I tell ya, we're gonna make television history.
We're gonna sh**t the best commercial ever.
Do me proud, kid.
What?
Uh, I thought "we" were gonna make television history.
JACKSure, sure, only I'm kinda busy right now,
so today "we" means "you."
But I don't know how to sh**t a commercial.
JACKMarvin can help you.
You'll be fine. Just sh**t our thrilling rides,
our fabulous food, our top-notch entertainment!
And I'll need it by six.
(Door slamming)
Sounds easy enough.
MARVINSure, it'll be fun.
Let's start with the rides.
EDDYOkay!
ELIZABETHJack got a camera
and Eddy and Marvin are making our TV commercial.
Right now?
Right this minute.
Foolish business.
You won't catch me in any silly commercial.
Hmm, yes, me neither.
Absolutely preposterous.
I'm just going to... powder my nose
Me too!
You handsome devil.
Now make sure everything looks straight.
EDDYLooks good.
How do I look?
(Eddy laughing)
So just hit the red button to sh**t,
and hit it again to stop.
This is easier than I thought.
Well, if you've got the hang of it, is it okay if I go
and practise my routine for the commercial?
Sure, Marvin. I can handle this.
♪
What?
Elizabeth, what are you doing?
Oh, I'm just waiting for a turn on the Ferris wheel.
I just love the Ferris wheel.
The camera's not on.
Oh.
Well, just let me know where you want me to stand.
You can keep standing right there.
Eddy?
(Wind whistling)
DIAMONDSYoo-hoo! Eddy dear!
Which costume should I wear for the commercial?
Red's showy but blue's better for close-ups.
You will want some close-ups, won't you, Eddy dear?
STRIPESHe's not interested in your wardrobe problems.
Look, Eddy. Tooth polish.
EDDYVery nice, but I'm sh**ting the rides first.
What do you want to start with? Should we do a sound check?
(Roaring)
Which one? Red or blue?
Should I add sparkles?
I just want to sh**t the ride.
It doesn't matter what you wear.
I beg your pardon, it most certainly does.
And you know, a costume might help your act out.
That's ridiculous.
Who ever heard of a man-eating tiger in a tuxedo? Hmm.
Am I right, Eddy?
Eddy?
EDNAA television commercial?
Ugh! Of all the cockamamie ideas!
Remember how the others said they didn't want to be on TV?
Well, as soon as I started sh**ting---
EDNAWell, let me guess.
They were falling over themselves to get into the act.
Yeah. How did you know?
MARVINWell, they're show-biz animals, Eddy.
They just love to perform. Can't help themselves.
They're born show-offs.
Yeah, something like that.
Well, they're not making my job any easier.
Okay, Edna, smile.
Action!
♪
Oh, well--
It doesn't look right without customers.
Looks like nobody wants my lemon ice.
I think you're right, Edna. We need some customers.
STRIPESCustomers coming up.
DIAMONDSOoh, look out.
ELIZABETHOh, hey!
Hello there, ma'am. I'd like a lemon ice,
the favourite snack of fearless tigers like myself.
Oh, give me a break.
Maybe we should sh**t the entertainment part now.
EDDYAll right, everybody.
Go set up your routines in the main tent.
We'll be there in ten minutes.
(Gasping)
ELIZABETHHooray!
(Sighing) Show biz.
DIAMONDSEddy, look.
I'm going to use my new parasol.
Hey, Eddy.
Should I do the flaming hoop or the sparklers?
Listen to my new song, Eddy.
(Groaning)
♪ Come to our carnival, come one, come all ♪
♪ Come to our carnival, you'll have a ball ♪
♪ You'll see Marvin the Tap-Dancing Horse ♪
♪ And all the other acts, of course ♪
That's enough, you hammy horse.
Look Eddy, watch this.
(Roaring)
Please, Stripes, wait your turn.
Ah!
Eddy dear, how does this look?
Not yet, Diamonds. One at a time.
Oh, that is impressive.
You can catch an umbrella.
It is not an umbrella! It's a parasol!
ELIZABETHHere I come!
Ta-da!
No, no, no! Not yet, Elizabeth!
Eddy. Over here!
DIAMONDSEddy, watch!
EDDYWait! Wait! One at a time!
Oh boy!
Ah ah ah--
Oh, no! Look out, everybody!
(Sneezing)
Whoa!
DIAMONDSOh!
(Crashing)
(Wheel squeaking)
MARVINWow, what a pileup.
Is everyone all right?
Yes.
Yes, I-I think so.
(Blowing nose)
Looks like we're going to need another take, Eddy.
Eddy?
Where'd he go?
JACKWhat's going on? Eddy was just in my office
saying he won't sh**t the commercial.
That doesn't sound like Eddy.
So what happened?
We were just doing our acts.
And Eddy was filming.
I thought it was going very well.
Well, let's just take a look.
(Marvin singing carnival song)
Oh look. It's you, Marvin!
Does my nose really look that big?
♪ And all the other acts, of course! ♪
That's enough, you hammy horse.
Now, this is more like it.
Watch this.
JACKPlease, Stripes, wait your turn.
You weren't even listening to Eddy.
Eddy dear, how does this look?
JACKNot yet, Diamonds! One at a time.
Oh my.
I wasn't the only one showing off.
Ta-da!
JACKNo, no, no! Not yet, Elizabeth.
Oh, I did it too.
JACKWait! One at a time!
I think I know why Eddy walked off.
We were so busy showing off for the camera...
That we weren't listening to Eddy at all.
(Wailing)
The poor boy.
We'd better go find him.
MARVINThere he is!
Oh, Eddy.
Poor Eddy dear. Sorry, kid.
Hey. What's going on?
We're sorry we were showing off and not listening to you.
DIAMONDSIt was very unprofessional of us.
(Wailing:) Can you ever forgive us?
Of course I forgive you.
You're my friends.
Besides, I know you can't help yourselves,
being showbiz animals and all.
Well, now that that's settled, let's get back to work
and make the best TV commercial ever.
No way.
I told Jack he can do it himself.
I've had it with the television business.
MARVINYou know, I don't blame you one little bit.
Everyone, come quick!
Jack's commercial is on TV.
Oh, really? It's on?
Uh, let's go see it.
JACKThe thrills. The excitement!
The drama! Come on down
and spend a fun-filled day at my carnival.
Fast-Talking Jack's the name and carnivals are my game.
We've got great food, fabulous rides,
top-notch entertainment, and no clowns.
Yes siree, you heard me right.
Don't like clowns-- never have, never will.
So come on down to my carnival and have a terrific time!
♪ Come on down!
♪ Best show in town!
♪ Eat and drink
♪ Don't stop to think
♪ Take a ride, I'll be your guide ♪
♪ At Fast-Talking Jack's Carnival ♪
♪ Yeah!
Well. That was really-- uh--
It was quite--
Awful!
That was the worst commercial I've ever seen.
It looks like Jack's a big show-off too.
And he didn't even show us.
Don't take it personally, Elizabeth.
When I was working in Hollywood,
some of my very best scenes hit the cutting-room floor.
You worked in Hollywood?
You bet I did.
When it was time for my big scene, I acted my heart out.
So, imagine my surprise when I see the finished picture
and they've cut out my scene!
♪