01x05 - Cluny's Clowns

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Redwall". Aired: September 8, 1999 – February 25, 2002.*
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Follows a young mouse named Matthias who lives at Redwall Abbey.
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01x05 - Cluny's Clowns

Post by bunniefuu »



MARTIN THE WARRIORI am that

is.

My sword shall wield for

me.





Abbot thought we shouldn’t

tell Matthias.

Yes, Matthias loves him very

much.

That’s fixed it all nice, eh?

Just in time, by sounds of

it.

(Wagon rattling)

Oh, someone’s coming.



It’s a circus.

Where are you going?

Redwall Abbey, my friend.

"Come one, come all, by

Redwall Abbey this nightfall."

(Owl calling)

(Gasping)

Owl messenger.

Many from Mossflower Wood

will be there.

Come and see us.

Oh, that we will.

(Gasping)

Rats!

By heck, Cluny’s still about.

(Laughing)

(Grunting)

That’s tight enough, Basil.

Ha, phew!

Well done, my boy!

Nifty work, all round.

That shall give Cluny a shock.

Any sign of the bounder, Cluny,

and his ratty hordes?

No.

BASILQuestion is, why is

the blighter lying low all of a

sudden?

But we’ll be able to hit them

before they get too close now.

BASILBy Jove, look at this,

refreshments.

Where’d you get the idea,

Matthias?

There’s this picture in one

of Old Methuselah’s books.

He said he’d come up and see it.

Wonder where he is.

He’s resting.

It’s too hot for him.

Oh, yes, quite right, far too

hot, what, eh?

Mm.

(Laughing)

Don’t you dare lose my scarf,

Matthias.

You’re supposed to carry it for

me all the time, like a knight.

I hung it up there so it

wouldn’t get dirty while I was

working.

Courageous and considerate.

What a noble mouse.

Come along, Cornflower.

Leave them to their work.

There’s other mouths to feed.

(Yawning)

Spiffing pair, chock full of

fun.

Dear boy?

(Snoring)



(Cluny laughing)

(Gasping)

Oh, mm, ah!

(Eating)

I just had a dream.

About swords, and about Cluny.

Blame the hot sun, and the

surfeit of strawberry cordial,

m’lad.

(Pounding)

(Gasping)

Look!

Bags of leaping, juggling and

clowns and whatnot.

Travelling circus, old boy.

(Wind blowing)

(Gasping)

Cornflower will never forgive

me.

Great nifty knives!

What a throw.


Quick as a bean, young ’un.

Hop in.

Mind your manners.

Don’t forget to say "thank you"

to the nifty knifer.

It’s like the ones in the

dream.

It’s just like Martin the

Warrior’s sword.

Your Kn*fe, um...

Wild Ivy.

Hm.

Thank you for saving my colours.

You’re a fantastic sh*t.

Well, that’s what I do, isn't

it.

Uh...

Is that a real abbey?

I mean, with a fat abbot and

everything.

Uh, yes.

Think I could have a look

inside?

I bet you could get me in,

couldn’t you?

I mean, I did save your hanky.

It’s not a handkerchief, it's

my warrior’s colours.

Warrior, eh?

Well, if you say so.

Do you know the abbot, personal

like?

Father Mortimer?

Yes.

I’ve never met a real abbot.

Will you introduce me to him?

Well, it’s...

That’s the Mighty Clodd.

What’s your name?

Matthias.

That’s funny, I had a dream

about somebody called Matthias.

Course, I come from a very

psychic family.

You’re great at throwing

knives.

I’ll teach you if you like.

For getting me into the abbey.

But you’ll have to practise a

lot.

I will.

I’m learning to be a warrior.

(Groaning)

What’s the matter?

Someone stole me trunk.

(Sniffing)

Cluny.

Who?

Cluny the Scourge.

He’s a terrible rat with an army

of rats and weasels.

He stole a piece of our

tapestry, Martin the Warrior.

I don’t care how terrible he

is or what he stole, he’ll need

more than an army if he messes

about stealing my stuff.

But Ivy, please, you’ve got

to move the circus into the

abbey.

If Cluny’s close, we've got to

get them all inside.

You’re right, Matthias.

Yes, you’re absolutely right.

We need to be inside the abbey.

Safe like.

(Flies buzzing)

I sent you foraging for food,

like the rest.

We were, chief.

Then we saw this.

Must have been of ’em

guarding it, chief.

CLUNYFool!

But we got you treasure,

chief.

Treasure for you.

And promotion for you.

(Gasping)

Promotion, yes, promotion.

Promotion to chief...idiots and

clowns!

(Owl calling)

(Screaming)



(Growling)

Rats done it.

Ah, hacked it off with

cutlasses, they did.

Oh, we come quick like, but


they was all over the place, so

we come in crafty.

I have to find Abbot

Mortimer.

If Cluny’s rats are this close,

we need to get ready.

You said you’d introduce me

to the abbot.

I’ll come with you.

Cluny might have persuaded

some Woodlanders to work for

him.

Everybody coming in will have

to be searched.

It will be a great

inconvenience, Constance.

They are all our friends.

One is enough to open an

outside door.

Then Cluny’s in.

(Sighing)

Very well, we’ll do as you

advise.

Right, I’ll pop aloft and man

the catapult, in case Cluny

tries to jump us in mid juggle,

as it were.

(Laughing)

WILD IVYBut you’ll miss my

show.

Father Abbot, this is Wild

Ivy.

I’ve never met an abbot

before.

Honoured, I’m sure, Your

Abbotship.

(Laughing)

And I have never met a circus

performer before.

It is my honour.

Right, well, must aloft.

Work before play, what?

Sorry to miss your show.

You don’t have to.

Hup, hup, hup.

ALLOh.

Ta-da!

(Cheering)

Now, what’s your big plan to

defend us against this thieving

rat, Cluny?

Who is she?

By Jove, get your point.

Total stranger looking at our

defence plans.

(Laughing)

Very good, chief.

Very fearsome.

Not treasure though.

Not as such, chief.

But clowns are treasure, eh?

Clowns are very fine treasure.

Clowns are in circuses.

You’re going to join the circus.



This is where Martin the

Warrior used to be.

Long ago, he saved the abbey

from a whole army of rats.

And that’s what this rat,

Cluny, stole from you?

Yes, everybody’s very

unhappy.

Martin’s our hero.

And you’re gonna try to be

like him?

Yes, but there’s a special

thing I have to do, that will

help me defeat Cluny.

And what’s that, exactly?

It’s Martin's sword, I have

to find it.

It’s sort of my fate.

Fate’s a very q*eer thing.

We better start your Kn*fe

lessons, fast.

Why?

’Cause there's a big break in

your line of destiny, is why.

Somebody’s going to die.

(Gasping)

And soon.

Very good.

Don’t aim, feel.

(Grunting)

(Sighing)

It’s practice.

Don’t aim, feel.

She’s very good at throwing

knives.


As we’ve already seen.

The bally question is...

Who is she going to throw

them at next?

Hm.

I can’t make them stick the

right way in.

You’ll need these knives.

That’s why they was in your

dream.

How did you know about my

dream?

Psychic.

Bet you miss.

See, I’m never wrong.

Never?



(Laughing)

(Groaning)

Matthias.

I am that is.

Beware.

(Cheering)

(Gasping)

(Cheering)



(Gasping)

(Laughing)

Where is Old Methuselah?

He’d enjoy this.



Hm.

(Gasping)

(Screaming)

(Cheering)

(Laughing)

(Cheering)

Where’d he go?

Where’d he go?

(Laughing)

There you are.

(Gasping)

It’s a rat!

Rat!

(Growling)

Matthias!

Tell them to open the abbey

gates, or I’ll slit your

gizzard.

Open the gates, as he asks.

(Cheering)

att*ck!

Get back, badger.

Ha ha!

Tally ho!

(Screaming)

(Gasping)

Good sh*t.

My question is, why didn’t

you spike the blighter, eh?

(Sighing)

Hm.

Close the gates.

Jump to it.

(Screaming)

Imbeciles!

Matthias, enemy, close by.

(Pounding)

Let me out of here!

(Screaming)

I’m frightened, I am, Miss

Cornflower.

We’ll just leave it outside.

He’ll be given it later.

It’s quite safe.

(Crashing)

(Gasping)

(Screaming)

(Laughing)

Please, Ivy, try to

understand.

This is our home, and it’s in

terrible danger.

And your friends think I’m

helping this Cluny, do they?

They aren’t sure.

Well, that’s nice, isn't it?

I come in, do a free show, and

this is my thanks?

Ivy, no.

CORNFLOWERHelp!

Head for the ramparts.

We’ll show 'em to the chief,

then kick ’em off.

(Laughing)

Matthias!

(Gasping)

Don’t you dare hurt her!

Which one?

This one?


This one?

Open the gates, or they flies to

the ground.

(Laughing)

Run for it, Ivy!

Open the gates!

Open the gates!

The circus is leaving the abbey.

Give them safe passage.

Let them pass.

Let them spread the story of the

triumph of Cluny the Scourge.



Redwall is mine!

Advance!

(Yelling)

Take Redwall!

(Owl calling)



Go on, finish him.

Shove ’em off!

(Laughing)

(Screaming)

Cornflower!

(Screaming)

No!

(Gasping)

(Laughing)

Oh!

(Laughing)

(Screaming)

(Grunting)



(Screaming)

Cornflower!



There, just like your hero,

Martin.

Strategy.

(Gasping)

(Grunting)

MARTIN THE WARRIORMatthias.

I am that is.

My sword shall wield for me.

I hear you, Martin.

Let him go.

Take him out.

Tell everyone in Mossflower that

Redwall spared his life.

Maybe it’s just as well you

could never throw this the

right way round.

They were my father’s.

He told me if I ever used them

to hurt anybody, they’ll hurt

me.

I’m glad you reminded me.

I’m proud to have met you.

And you, Cornflower.

I’m sorry you thought I was a

bad one.

Oh, I couldn’t.

Especially when I got you all

wrong.

I’m so sorry.

Cornflower, I’ll be hurt if

you refuse me gift.

It’s our circus way of staying

behind when we leave.

It’s a tradition.

I envy you, having a real

warrior to carry your colours.

Goodbye.

Hey, Matthias, forget your line

of fate.

I was wrong.

Fate is what you decide to do

next.

(Blowing kiss)

Remember me.

BASILClose the bally gates,

chaps.



Matthias, my child, I’m

afraid I have grave news.

I’m proud of you.

A true warrior does not strike

his enemy when he has fallen.

You have far to go to find your

destiny.

Trust yourself, Matthias.

And follow your dreams.

I love you, Methuselah.



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