03x15 - Cantoni Family

[bunniefuu]

Tonight on "supernanny,"

Jo meets the cantoni family.hello.

This mom and dad are on

Opposite sides of the fence when it comes to parenting.

She does not like to wear a diaper. [Crying]

She has to wear them. No. We're taking her diaper off.

When jo steps in,

Emotions run high as the kids battle for attention.

Don't worry about that. That's her banging her head.

[Cries]

Will these parents compromise? Ow! Ow!

Allow me to get a word in edgewise?

You don't want me to get into it.

Or will life continue to be an uphill struggle?

Mom, do I look like a stupid baby?

Shut up!

[Crying]

♪♪♪

♪ Be good, be good ♪

♪ Be good, be good, be good ♪

♪ Be good, be good, be good ♪

♪ Be good, be good, be good ♪ ♪ johnny ♪

♪ Be good, be good, be good ♪

♪ Be good, be good, be good ♪

♪ Be good, be good, be good ♪

♪ Be good, be good, be good ♪ ♪ johnny ♪

♪ Johnny ♪

Let's take a look and see what family we've got here.

Hi, I'm nina. This is my husband paul,

And we're the cantoni family.

Nick, no.

[Screams]

[Paul] what happened, honey? [Nina] nicolas anthony, the screaming!

We have a son nicolas, who's .

Aah!

A daughter gabrielle, who's . You see him!

And another daughter, giana, who's .

Give me the shovel.

Gabrielle, give it to daddy now!

The main issue with gabby is she is very bossy

And very demanding...

I don't want to! It was gabby's fault!

Talks back a lot.

When she wants something, it's now.

The world revolves around gabby...mm-hmm.

And you need to do what she says immediately.

Don't pinch. No biting, gab!

Ow! Ow! Don't bite!

That little girl is ruling roost here.

Nicolas' back-talking is definitely a problem for us.

[Nina] do you need a nap?

Your children need to have some respect for you.

[Paul] did you shut the game off? Yes, I did!

You have six minutes. Do I need to wear underwear?

In a lot of ways we want to laugh at it,

But it's--it's not-- it's not okay.

It's not funny. Six minutes in your room.

It's disrespectful.

Nicolas, nicolas--

Daddy--daddy does that enough, thanks.

Don't talk like that at the dinner table.

I'm the yeller. I yell a lot more than paul.

In bed now! You're gonna get a whack on your butt

If you continue to talk to me that way! Is that understood?

Dad lets a lot more go, so...

I'm good cop. She's bad cop.

Nick, wanna break out a deck of cards

And play texas hold'em?

I don't find that amusing. It's bedtime.

Sit down and eat a little dinner. No, it's time for bed.

These parents really don't see eye to eye.

In bed. No!

Yes, come on. No!

Bedtime is very hectic. Gabrielle is out a lot--

, Times--she's very difficult to put down.

[Crying]

What is going on at bedtime? Our lives gotta change.

We have to make something happen because we're both at wit's end.

Gabby, look at daddy. Stop.

No, mom!

[Paul] nick! You know what, honey? Please.

Supernanny, it's out of control around here.

Can you please come and help us?

You're right. You guysdo need my help.

Hang in there, because I'm on my way.

Hello.

Hello, how are you? I'm very well.

Pleased to meet you. I'm jo frost.

Nice to meet you, too, nina cantoni. Hi, nina.

My first impressions of jo-- I felt relieved

To know that help was here.

Nicolas, shake her hand and say hello. Hi, nicolas.

Gonna shake my hand and say hi? Shake her hand.

Hello, pleased to meet you.

Gabrielle, say hi.

Hi, gabrielle. Ow! Ow!

When I first arrived, nina was there with the three children.

And they were all very pleasant and come up to me--

Even baby giana waddled up to me

And put her little hands up for a hug.

Do you want to say hello up here? Hi.

What happened here? Car accident, two years ago.

I was in a car accident a while back.

And, you know, with the pain in my shoulder, hip and back,

It makes it really difficult for me to deal with the kids

When they're having a tantrum or just not listening.

So, nina, I'm gonna be here for today observing,

So just carry on as normal. Okay.

So I'm just gonna take some mental notes... Okay.

And watch you, all right? All right. Great. Thank you.

Gabby, what are you doing?

Mom was in the kitchen with all three children,

And it wasn't long before gabby started

Throwing a temper tantrum. [Nina] no, no, no!

Gimme! Look at mommy.

You cannot put water on the floor. You can't. [Cries]

You can't. [Gasps] you know what?

Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! No.

You can pretend. Come on.

Want to go get your teacup and we'll pretend? No!

You know what? Time-out. Time-out for the girl who hits.

Come on. No. No! I wanna go take a bath!

You can't take a bath now, honey. [Crying]

Come on, come with mommy. We'll go have a tea party.

Mom went from threatening gabby with time-out

To throwing a tea party.

Is that her idea of discipline?

[Nina] daddy is home.

Hello.

Hi, pleased to meet you.

Thank you for coming. You're welcome.

When I got home from work and walked in the door

And I saw jo, my first impression was that

She was very straightforward, down to business,

Let's get this show on the road. When paul got home,

Dinner was going really well

Until nicolas decided he wanted a little extra attention

And did something totally unacceptable.

[Crying] that's all right, you gotta eat, too.

How's--how's--nicolas, that's absolutely disgusting.

Nicolas anthony! Nicolas anthony!

Are you-- are you an animal?

I was very angry, what nicolas did at dinner

With eating off of paul's plate

And then when I responded to him like, "we don't eat like that,"

He spit it back onto paul's dinner plate.

That's just something that I will not tolerate.

Unacceptable, nick. Don't ever do that again. [Paul] whatever.

Nina got fired up at dinner for nicolas

Chewing my food and spitting it back out on my plate.

It wasn't really too big of a deal to me,

But that's part of where

Nina and I don't really see eye to eye.

Would you say that you guys-- do you guys agree

With some things with parenting or is it a bit mishy-mashy,

A bit wishy-washy? I would say that--

Probably wishy-washy. It's wishy-washy. You're both--

Well, she's very wishy-washy. Very wishy-washy.

Nina is the person

Who holds down all the boundaries and guidelines,

And paul is the person

Who likes to have fun and be the silly daddy.

After dinner, the children had some free time

Before they were supposed to go to bed.

Nick, all right, give me the broken bat.

Nick, let it gonow. Give me the ball.

[Nicolas giggles]

Aah!

[Babbling] ow! Ow!

These kids are so hyped up, I just don't know how

Nina and paul expect them to go to sleep soon.

[Crying]

I want daddy!

I know you want daddy, because daddy's gonna

Take these off of you, and you need these on,

Because otherwise you're gonna go pee everywhere. I want dad!

After a long struggle,

Nina finally got the diaper on gabby, and then paul walked in

And allowed her to take it off again.

How come you were taking your diaper off? No, honey, don't let her...

I know nina was trying to put the diapers on gabrielle

For a long time, but I took them off her

Because if I hadn't,

She would've been throwing a tantrum along time.

As soon as I get something accomplished,

I-i just feel like he comes in

And he takes away the accomplishment,

And it's so frustrating.

All right, come on. You know what?

When she gets a little more tired, we'll put those on her.

Coming up on "supernanny,"

[Screams]

You want grape? Anything to get her quiet.

While dad pours a mean drink...

Oh, she wants milk now? She wants milk now. We're gonna buy a cow.

Mom cries out for help...

And it's overwhelming.

When "supernanny" returns.

♪ Be good, be good ♪

[Gabby crying]

It was finally time to put the children to bed,

And I realized it was gonna be a long evening

For paul and nina.

[Crying]

It's not funny anymore. Got me?

I want daddy! I want daddy!

I want daddy! [Crying]

Gabrielle is a nightmare.

She just constantly comes out of her bedroom.

There's always an excuse

For why she doesn't want to go to sleep.

I'm more of the old softy

When it comes down to letting the kids

Get away with things they really shouldn't be.

I-i feel like they won't like me as much

If--if I play the--the hard boss.

You want milk in a sippy cup now?

Nah-nah, sippy cup milk in the ba-ba.

All right, you want it in a ba-ba.

She normally has a sippy cup, but lately she wants a bottle.

Right, and have you been giving her a bottle?

I don't give her her bottle.

And who does? Dad.

That's a no-no in my book--

A -year-old drinking out of a bottle. Gabby's not a baby.

You want apple juice? You're sure? Okay.

Gabby is constantly wanting more to drink

Because she knows

That daddy will run down the stairs a hundred times

To get it for her.

[Crying] I want grape!

You want grape? Anything to get her quiet.

And it just has spiraled out of control now

To delay the ultimate, which is gabby going to bed.

She would like milk now. Oh, she wants milk now?

She wants milk now. Okay.

Yeah.

We're gonna buy a cow.

Not only does gabby have her dad

Wrapped around her little pinkie,

But why do they give her so much to drink before bedtime?

It's no wonder why she's still in diapers.

Whilst paul was upstairs with gabby, I could see

That nina desperately needed somebody to listen to her. Like, when he's home,

It's like what he said-- he wants to--he's away so much

That he just wants to be with them,

And he wants to make them happy.

And with the time he's around them,

He just wants to be the good guy.

And that's where I get so frustrated because

Where I set boundaries, I feel like the boundaries are broken.

And I feel like it's a constant pull.

So as much as you want him home,

When he's home, it causes complications.

Right, and I hate to say that because i-i want him home.

You know what I mean? But it's so hard.

Very overwhelming.

[Crying] this is overwhelming.

Nina's at a breaking point. She's so frustrated.

And things need to change for this family.

So I can't wait to sit down

And talk about making those changes.

I observed plenty.

So why don't the three of us go and sit down

And discuss the issues that I feel need to be addressed? Sure.

[Nina] I am most afraid that jo is gonna tell me

That pretty much everything I'm doing is wrong,

And I don't think that I'm ready to hear that.

Let me say to the pair of you

That you have three adorable children

Who are very delightful, and that was very refreshing.

Thank you. Thank you.

But...

I hate the "buts." [Laughs]

You guys are on opposite teams,

And the pair of you should be working together.

But you're not doing it.

Being a father means upholding discipline,

And you're not upholding that part of being

A responsible father.

It's tough, because you want 'em to...

Be your buddies, you know?

You want 'em to love you and like you.

Nina, what's a good parent?

Somebody who sets boundaries,

Who has structure and consistency.

So you have the buddy and you have the discipline.

How does it feel, paul, when you feel that she nags /?

She's short-fused.

Tell paul why you're short-fused.

I don't have any backup, paul.

I'm laying down things and getting structure,

And you're coming home and breaking it.

I feel like I'm a broken record.

Emotionally, I'm not happy.

I feel like I'm by myself.

What do you think of that, paul?

Ouch.

It hurts. It's the truth.

Nicolas--

He's a really bright boy and he's not challenged.

He's not stimulated in a way that he should be.

So he just does negative things to get negative attention. Mm-hmm.

It's not productive. And he used to get all the attention.

Mm-hmm. For three years he had all the attention,

And then gabrielle was born. Let's talk about gabrielle.

Gabrielle does what she wants when she wants,

And she has your consent to do it because you put up with it.

But there's no limitations for her. There's no boundaries.

And she's pushing it further and further.

Because, quite frankly, she's begging for you guys

To draw that line with her.

And yet again, the children are gonna learn different messages.

But all the attention

That they try and get from you guys during the day...

They get during the nighttime. Mm-hmm.

I mean, it's a nightmare.

"Daddy, get me more grape juice."

Daddy, get me milk. Daddy, do this. Daddy, do that."

It's absolutely ridiculous.

Your children--

They're learning to behave the way

That they are behaving because you are accepting that.

Mm-hmm.

That's made you, as a family, spiral downwards.

Everything jo said hit home.

The truth hurts, but it was a good kind of hurt.

Paul and I are always on opposite sides of the fence.

And we're pretty much fighting a losing battle.

And she really hit on--

We have to work together in order for this to work,

And we have to back each other up.

Are you both prepared to start batting on the same team now?

Absolutely. Yeah.

Good, then let's get to work together.

Coming up on "supernanny,"

[Screaming] stop shouting.

While gabby has a meltdown...

That's her banging her head.

Jo challenges nicolas to change his behavior...

So we're gonna give nicolas lots of responsibility

And different tasks to challenge him.

When "supernanny" returns.

But first, a tip from supernanny...

Sometimes, older children can really feel pushed to the side

When parents are meeting the demands of a baby.

To help them, give them small, achievable tasks--

Like grabbing a diaper

Or getting a towel for bath time.

All these little things will help children feel included.

♪ Be good, be good ♪

♪ Be good, be good ♪

The first thing that I do when I go back into a household

Is to pin up a good, structured routine,

And that's what the cantoni family needed.

This is your new family routine.

When jo unveiled the routine for us, I was ecstatic.

I'm like, you know, why couldn't we think of this?

From : to :,

Nick, it's your homework time, all right?

So at : to :, dinner.

From : to : p.m. It'll be gabby's bath time.

And then nick to play with the other parent.

So what you can see here

Is you're both taking the responsibility

In making sure that you both give your children

That one-on-one focused time.

And they get to have you equally then, all right?okay.

Big smiles!

I definitely felt that the routine that jo put in place

Is really gonna help with each one of the the kids

Having more adequate time and one-on-one attention.

Nick, come over with me to a table.

This is for nicolas.

It's his booster web charts.

I introduced the booster chart for nicolas

Because I wanted him to get lots of praise from his parents,

Rather than seeking attention for negative behavior.

So with the booster web chart here,

We've got tasks, date and comments.

So we're gonna give nicolas lots of responsibility

And different tasks to challenge him.

In here we have a model.

It takes a lot of skill to be able to do it,

And I think it would be perfect for you.

[Jo] nicolas was so excited

That he wanted to start straightaway.

So this is the first diagram, and it says number one--

And you have to put that small piece into the hole.

All right, exactly. Then move on to number two. Good going.

He sat down and went through the instructions

And had an incredibly

Large amount of patience to put it all together.

And he finished it.

Nicolas!

He did a great job.

You completed your model task!

[Gasps] nicolas finished it? No kidding.

Give me five. Good.

And mom, too!

Look at you!

That's amazing.

Seeing nicolas so proud of something he accomplished

Made me feel incredible.

It was like, "that's my boy." You know, a tearjerker.

"Fantastic."

"Excellent."

My dad was really proud of me that I finished the model,

And he wrote it on my chart.

"I'm proud of you, nick."

Nick, see that?

You can do anything you want

As long as you put your mind to it... Yep.

And you're patient and you try and you don't give up.

My dad's proud of me. It makes me feel happy.

Later on, gabrielle became very clingy,

And she started to whine because she wanted paul to pick her up.

[Cries] [nina] do it like that and let go.

And in no time, there it was--

A full-blown tantrum on our hands.

What's wrong, sweetie? [Cries] mama!

Gabby has become very used to getting her own way

By behaving like this--

Tantrums, pulling, shouting and yelling... Mama!

And we wanna nip that right in the bud. Mama! Dada!

[Nina] right. So for discipline, we're going to use your ottoman here.

[Both] okay. Okay, we're gonna go for the ottoman...

[Thumping] regardless to whether she's here or not. Don't worry about that.

[Gabby cries] let her be angry. That's her banging her head.

I was very overwhelmed with gabrielle's behavior.

It just hurts to see your--your child act like that

And cry like that and not be able to console them.

Let her learn. [Cries]

Yeah, look, that's pure frustration.

It really hurt, but...

We have to do what we have to do to get it right.

[Jo] okay.

I want to bite you. No, no biting.

Give me! Give me! [Crying]

I want you to come down to gabrielle's level.mm-hmm.

I want you to say to her very firmly in a low-toned voice,

"Stop shouting and stop biting me."

Okay.

Paul's a big marshmallow when it comes to discipline,

And I wanted him to step up and show gabby

That he's not going to tolerate that behavior anymore.

Let me go! Gabrielle...

[Crying] stop--stop shouting

And stop biting.

It's hard for me to stick and be consistent

With the--with the children because I feel like

I'm being the bad guy.

You've always picked her up

Every time she's behaved like this.

This is absolute temper tantrum. [Gabby] mama!

Let's implement discipline. Okay.

I want you

To take her by the hand, take her over to the ottoman... Mama!

And I want you to say and explain to her

Why she's being placed on the ottoman.

Don't force her or wait out. Just move away.

And when you see that she's moved, you place her back on.

[Bell dings]

[Screaming]

Daddy!

I think that paul did fairly well

When he was placing gabby on that ottoman.

He remained consistent and he followed through.

Put me down! [Screams]

I want my blankie!

I want it!

[Shrieking]

I want my blankie!

[Shrieking]

That's why you were placed on the ottoman for three minutes.

Daddy, stop it!okay.

With gabrielle--when she was throwing her tantrum...

It--it made me feel kinda good,

Like I was starting to gain control.

Gabrielle, daddy placed you on the ottoman

Because you were not listening.

I did not like when you were screaming and shouting.

I think paul did really good. He was definitely sweatin'.

I've never seen him sweat that much

Just to take care of one of the kids before.

It was really hard for him,

But I think he did really good with it.

Gabrielle-- if you do not say you're sorry to daddy,

Then you stay here.

Gabrielle, as soon as you say you're sorry for your behavior,

I will let you off the ottoman.

What I want you...

[Jo] if paul just sticks with it, he does get the results

That he's searching for, so I was very proud of him.

Coming up on "supernanny,"

Mom and dad ride a roller coaster of emotions.

You know what? Let's just stick to this.

Stop acting like such a bitch.

Will jo be able to sort it all out?

"Bossiness. Less bitchy." Don't you see the finger like that?

When "supernanny" returns.

♪ Be good, be good ♪

When it comes to parenting,

Nina has been shouldering a lot of the responsibilities.

So I want paul to step up, and that's why I'm introducing

The "step up/step back" technique.

Together, I want the pair of you

To discuss what you feel is valuable to be able to instill

And lay down good foundations for your children,

And place them into the middle box.

[Jo] nina and paul need to agree

On what they want to achieve as parents,

And they'll write those common goals in the middle box.

You wanna write responsibility. Trust. Yeah, write "trust."

We definitely need more understanding... [Speaks indistinctly]

No more preconceived notions.

So-- can we put "stop questioning,"

Or we just follow that down to "trust"?

Oh, please, okay? Like you're a king here.

Allow me to get a word in edgewise?

Honey, don't get right into it,

'Cause you don't want me to get into it.

"Stop acting like such a bitch % of the time"?

This is what I don't want. Neither do i, so just spit it out. Tell her what's wrong.

I feel like--what, you wanna know what's wrong?

I feel like everything you're writing down

Is like a finger pointing towards me.

"See, this is you. You're a bitch. See, this is you."

I didn't call you one name to put you down.

You want to talk about respect? There's lack of respect.

Because look at how you talk back to me.

When do I ever just say-- you know what? Let's just stick to this. Communication.

Once paul and nina started airing their issues,

Emotions started to run high, and it's gonna

Be very challenging for them to both work together.

This step up/step back is to allow

Not just yourself the things you need to change--

But you--couldn't you hear that in his voice?

"Respect. Bossiness. Less bitchy."

Don't you see the finger like that?

And I say to him, "well, I wouldn't be so bitchy

"If you'd just listened, and you just followed through,

And you just helped me out." This is about letting go of all of that, all right?

They need to come together amicably

So that they can move on and successfully

Use their skills with child-rearing.

I can give you one clear thing that I think you need

To step back with and you need to step up with,

And that's one warning.

Very clearly, you need to step up and give a warning.mm-hmm.

Paul, and you need to step back and only give one.okay.

This was an important point for them to realize.

Because unless they're on the same page,

They're gonna continue to give their children mixed messages.

What responsibility do you have to step up with?

Discipline. Right. Let's write that down.

Okay, so, nina,

How will you step back

With what you do when it comes to listening?

Not repeat myself. Lovely.

See? Now we've got you guys working together. Mm-hmm.

So this is really, really positive, all right?

We've got you guys communicating.

We've got clear vision.

Paul, you're stepping up nicely here.

And, nina, we've seen you recognize things

That you need to step back with.

So it was about bringing the pair of them together

And recognizing how they were both going to achieve

The stuff that they'd written in the middle box.

The transition to bedtime can be extremely hectic,

And nina and paul are gonna need a routine

To help these children calm down before they go off to sleep.

You're cold? You're okay.

Here.

"Snap right in half.

"A rear..." Come on, let's go. Let's go read a book.

"The bear." The end.

Right, okay, this is what we're doing right away now.

We're doing the stay in bed technique. Daddy!

What you're going to do, paul, tonight... [Paul] mm-hmm.

Is you're gonna place gabby back into her bed.

You're gonna tuck her in.

Then you're gonna say, "it's bedtime, darling." I will see you in the morning.

You're gonna go to sleep now,

And I will see you in the morning.

[Crying] paul?

Kiss her good night... [Speaks indistinctly]

And say, "see you in the morning, darling."

Okay. Okay?

Gabrielle... There was a very clear reason why I made paul

Do the stay in bed technique--

Because he's been the sucker that's been running up and down

Them stairs with those demands for a very long time.

[Crying] that's the second time.

Good night. I love you.

[Jo] the second time, what do you say?

It's bedtime, darling.

I will see you in the morning.

No, no more, paul.

Paul, "it's bedtime, darling."

The second time you say, "it's bedtime."

The third time you say nothing.

The winding down part for gabrielle and bedtime

Went very smooth until the point

Where it was putting her in bed

And having her stay in bed.

[Crying]

Night-night.

I want mommy!

Don't wait around for her. You're busy.

You've got things to do. This is your evening now.

[Shrieking]

[Jo] paul followed through with the technique.

It worked very, very quickly.

I did not think it was at all possible

To have gabrielle be in bed by :.

[Laughing]

Jeez, we're gonna be bored.

[Jo] this was a major accomplishment

For nina and paul,

And I think they were very surprised to see that it worked.

So it means that you guys

Get a good night's sleep tonight and ready for work tomorrow.

These two hours are gonna make a huge difference

For nina and paul.

It's gonna allow them to relax and communicate

So that they can work better together as parents.

I think that we can get used to this.

Definitely.[Laughs]

While jo's gone,

I'm definitely gonna be missing

Some of the guidance from her.

Definitely.

I'm feeling a little nervous

About not having jo around for the next few days,

Because I'm afraid that something will fall through

With the schedule she gave us,

And we feel secure when she's here.

Coming up on "supernanny,"

Come on.

Dad throws playtime out with the trash. [Crying]

'Cause you did your chores when you were supposed

To be playing, right? [Crying]

And mom and dad...

You need to take two bites of your nummies.

Are lost at dinner. She's not eating. How long do you let her

Sit there for before she doesn't eat?

When "supernanny" returns.

But first, a tip from supernanny.

Make bath time fun by providing lots of toys

For the children to play with

To release that last bit of energy.

This will help them to calm down before bedtime,

Making it a much easier process.

♪ Be good, be good ♪

♪ Be good, be good ♪

[Jo] the cantonis went through intense teaching,

And I'm curious to see how they got on without me.

Who knows? We're about to see.

All right, so let's take a look together

And see what we've got here.

"Dumbo tried to keep up with the other elephants,

But he tripped on his ears and landed in a puddle." All right.

It's night-night time.

I want daddy!

It's night-night time.

I want--get away! Get away!

[Crying]

I love the way you didn't fight here, nina.

Mm. You took her straight back into her bedroom.

You didn't feed into that tantrum.

Fantastic for doing that, and walking away and letting go.

Let me see your face real quick.

Let me just get your face real quick.daddy!

It's okay. I just want to wash your face.

Get out.

[Whining] get out!

Aah! Stop it!

Gabrielle, listen to me.

Let me rinse your hair off, please. Stop it!

Come on, let's get out. Let's--

You don't talk to me! I'm making a castle.

No, let's get out of the bathtub.

No, no, no, no, no, no!

[Grunts]

You're the boss. I amthe boss!

Daddy! [Grunts]

What is going on, paul?!

It was, um, giving her a bath.

What I saw there was a little girl...mm-hmm.

Controlling the way that she behaved around you,

And then on top of it, you validated it.

"Oh, well, you're the boss."

Gabby knowsexactly what she is doing. Trust me.

And if you think any less,

Then you underestimate her, paul.

You could say to her, "if you don't turn around

"And look at daddy whilst I'm talking to you,

Then we're getting out of the bath." Let's move on.

Let's carry on with the rest of it.

Let's go. What can we play?

We're gonna go find something. Dad, hold me tight.

[Grunts] hold me tight.

So this was all the garbage upstairs, right?

So you know where we take that now?

Downstairs.

[Gabby crying] nothing new. Come on. Come on.

Nicolas... Please stop that right now.

Nicolas, come on.

I'd expect more of that than you. Come on, stand up.

[Crying]

But I wanted to play with you, though!

[Crying]

[Speaks indistinctly]

[Speaks indistinctly]

Well, what were we doing upstairs?

Come on. All right, I'll tell you what--

Nothing was fun upstairs, though.

Nothing was fun upstairs?

[Whining]

He said he didn't get to play with me, so I brought him--

'Cause you did your chores

When you were supposed to be playing, right? Well, yeah.

We've got a father here

Who is meant to be spending time with his son.

You're not delivering what he wants from you

And deserves from you, and that's your time.

I did feel bad about--

You know, I was thinking it would only take two minutes

To, you know, show, "hey, let's get the trash and throw it out.

Then we're gonna move right onto something,"

But it just didn't turn out that way.

You knew you messed up.he knew you messed up at the end.

It would have been nice for you to have sat down

And said, "nicolas, daddy messed up. I'm sorry."

All right? And what youare doing in the process

Is teaching your children,

"Hey, sometimes we go offtrack, and we make mistakes."

Mm-hmm.and that is an important lesson.

Okay?

So food for thought. Please digest. We appreciate that.

You're welcome. Start eating. Come on.

Nope, no more water until you take some bites.

[Crying]

You have to take some bites of your lasagna.

[Whining]

[Crying]

I want to get down! If you want to get down,

You need to take two bites of your nummies. [Crying]

Show daddy how you eat like a big girl.

[Nina] okay, gab, I want to start seeing you eat it

By yourself, okay, 'cause you're a big girl. [Paul] mm-hmm.

And now she's got her way by screaming and shouting. [Crying]

I figured that if she tried it a little,

She might be more receptive. She might not even be hungry.

Who knows? If she's not eating, does she sit--how long do you let her

Sit there for before she doesn't eat?

When jo comes back, we'll have to ask her

What the right thing to do is. [Crying] I want down!

So, paul, when nina gave gabby firm direction

Just to eat a couple of bites,

You should have allowed that to happen,

And then it would have been fine.

But instead, you started to coax gabby and said "I'll feed you."

You undermined everything nina said

When you stepped in.

All it's doing is making gabby realize

That "well, daddy will be on my side."

Then we're going back to square one again.

We've got good cop/bad cop.

Okay, so if they don't--

If they're not gonna want to eat, it's okay.

"Then you're all done."

And but then what happens if she says, like, later on,

"Mom, I'm hungry"? Do you make her eat what you gave her,

Or do you say, "you had your chance to eat.

You're all done"? It's your chance to eat.

Use your composure to be able to walk over and say,

"Well, if it's not what you want then, then you'll

Get down from the table, and there's nothing else.

Full stop. All right? Seem clear? Mm-hmm. Yes, definitely.

Sounds good. Good. Okay, so let's get back to doing some more work.

Great.

Coming up on "supernanny,"

Will dad step up

And mom step back

When it comes to one-on-one with their kids?

When "supernanny" returns.

♪ Be good, be good ♪

Say cheese!

Cheese! Cheese!

[Jo] look at them-- two peas in a pod.

After I've shown the dvd footage to the parents,

I stick around for the whole day to reinforce any techniques

Or to give any advice that I feel is necessary.

Nicolas, look what we've got here for you--

A game to play with daddy.

[Gasps] guess who?cool.

Tonight, paul had a chance to prove himself,

That he was well and able to stick with that routine

And spend the quality time he was meant to spend with nicolas. I'm blue.

You're blue?yeah.

All right. You ready?

I know I ruined nicolas' one-on-one time the other night,

But I'm very anxious in making it up with him.

[Paul] does your person have white hair?

This is all to help nicolas

Feel satisfied that he's had attention from his parents.

Does your person have peach skin?

Wow, nicolas, good question.

My person has eyebrows.

So anybody that does not have a brown mustache,

You flip down.

Aw, you kicked my butt!

Look at that! Good job, buddy.

Spending one-on-one time with nicolas was amazing.

It was absolutely amazing.

I wanted to show nina how important it was

Not to struggle with gabby, so that it would allow

Bath time to be very calming for her.

Go, sit back. Take a breather for a minute.

Any rudeness, any nonsense from her,

I want you to say to her, "come on, let's stop that."

And if she carries on, you give her a warning

And tell her that she'll get out of the bath early.

[Jo] with nina stepping back, it allowed them

To be relaxed with one-on-one time together.

We're down to one more minute in the bathtub.

Tonight, jo taught me that I don't have to be involved

So much in bath time with gabrielle.

Do you know what time it is now? It's time to quiet down.

Time to quiet down, right? Quiet time now.

Paul and nina understand what they need to do

In order for their children to have a good night's sleep

And for themselves to have adequate sleep per night,

And I do feel that gradually

We are making changes in this household.

Before I feared bedtime,

And now I feel a lot more relaxed about it,

And I know that it's gonna be easier and easier.

[Nina] you're right.

[Whispering] gabby, jo jo's very pleased

To see you sleeping like a big girl in your bed now.

Night-night, darling.

Say "good night, jo jo."

Sleep tight. Take care, okay?

So can I have a hug to say good-bye?

There's been some good, positive changes in this family.

Nina's more relaxed since paul has stepped up

His responsibilities of being a father,

And that's given them more quality time

As a family, made them more happy

And given them more time as a couple.

So... Take care.

Thank you so much. You're welcome.

You're more than welcome. Thank you. You will be missed.

Jo has had a major impact on our family.

Paul? Yes?

Step up, step up, step up...

Mm-hmm. Constantly, so nina can step back.

Nicolas absolutely adored the time he had with you today.

And I adored it just the same.

And you're on the way to building

A very special relationship with your children,

And that's priceless.

So keep up the good work, all right? Take care.

You, too.

Our family was almost falling apart,

And jo helped us pull it back together again.

And I'm gonna make my own way out now

And give you guys an evening. All right, take care.

Thank you so much. Take care. Thank you. We'll miss you.

Bye-bye. [Paul] bye-bye.

They are working closer together,

And they are supporting one another,

So I'm happy to see that

The pair of them have connected again.

♪♪♪

Before jo came to our house, I was at my boiling point.

Our family was falling apart.

[Nina] nice hit, nick!

Come on, nick, you gotta go do bath.

No!i fell like paul and I are doing really well

With the step up/step back routine.

I actually feel like he is on my side now,

Or we're on the same side together. Oh, don't spill it.

I've definitely stepped up.

I'm taking on more disciplinary measures with the kids.

Uh-oh.

We have to be careful with these.

A big part of my change as a parent

Is not looking at my kids like they're chores.

It's fun to be a mom now.

Are you all done with this? Want me to throw it away now?

Having bedtime technique and having it working

Gives my wife and I a lot more quality time.

It's absolutely beautiful to see her smiling again.

Okay, where's the other smile? There's my smile.

Look at those beautiful stockings. Let me see.

Nicolas I see starting to open up to me and my wife.

Mom, look. Good work.

Nick, that's a beautiful picture.

[Paul] it's just an all-around miracle is what it is.

Hey, nicolas, can you do-- look at mommy.

He's such a deep little kid, and he has so much to say

And he has so much to offer,

And all he wanted was attention all along.

I am impressed. That is great work.

Very good.

Um, it made me happy,

'Cause my mom and dad

Spend more time with me now.

Where we going, guys-- fishing?

Hey, excuse me! [Laughs]

This whole experience made me realize

How incredible my children are

And how precious my time is with them.

[Nina] I definitely feel like paul and I

Have turned over a new leaf,

And our children are benefiting from that.

I definitely feel like we are starting off

On a new slate.

Thanks, jo, for helping my family.

♪ The spaceman and you ♪

♪ All you clowns go ♪

♪ I don't know ♪

[Singing indistinctly]

It's getting dangerous.

Yeah, go, daddy! Go!

[Shouts]

Yay! Whoo!

I don't like the naughty seat.

[Speaking indistinctly]