05x08 - The Howat Family

[bunniefuu]

Shut up!

Mom!tonight on "supernanny,"

Jo returns to the u.k. On a rescue mission

To help a single mom that has lost control of her children

And her temper.

I don't want to see you, okay?[Crying]

All right, I'm telling you this now, okay?

I can see you're gonna lose it. You need to go downstairs.

Mom's son rhys is an accident waiting to happen.

[Woman] not now. Grab him.

His behavior is shocking...

[Screaming]

[Crying]

While his older sister shannon drives mom to the brink.

Can supernanny tame the howat tribe...

[Yelling indistinctly]want to get him?

Before mom goes over the edge?

Do not throw!

Or is she too late?

I'm losing my temper. I'm just going home.

Come on. Let's go.tara!

No, I don't want to do it no more.tara! Your kids!

So let's take a look this week

At a family from hertfordshire in the u.k.

My name is tara howat.

I'm a single mom, and I have three children.

My oldest child casey is years old.

Shannon is years old.

Then there is my youngest rhys, who is years old.

[Tara] rhysy, stop it!

Shut up! No!

He's just like a wild child gone wrong. It's terrible.[Screaming]

[Screaming]

Stop it!

[Yelling]ow!

Biting, punching-- this behavior has got to stop.

[Screaming]

He likes to get angry...

Get down! Throwing things at me...

Stop it. No!

Swearing directly at me.shut the [bleep]!

No.

Look at this boy's mouth. Look.stop it!

Swearing, swearing, and nobody's doing anything about it.

Leave me alone!

[Tara] shannon's behavior is quite bad.

If shannon doesn't get her own way, she will go mad.

[Yelling indistinctly] put your arms down. [Speaks indistinctly]

Oh, bloody hell, shannon,

You are going in your room.

It looks like mom's lost control of her children and her temper.

[Door slamming repeatedly]

[Shannon] no!

She'd shout. She called me names.

She'll chuck things about.

She just screams a lot-- constant screaming.

[Screaming]

Coping with the children as a single mom is very hard.

Stop it.

[Crying]

And what about the older girl here? I mean, when's her time?

She's behaving and being ignored.

[Tara] put your wellies on. Put them on!no!

The communication has broken down

Completely with this family.

I mean, they're all arguing.

They're shouting and yelling at one another.

Get up in the bed now!

[Yelling indistinctly]

I mean, it's a wonder why mom's feeling

Like she's got no control here.

I feel that I'm useless.

The kids have got me very low,

Very extremely low.

Sometimes I feel like walking out

And leaving 'em in there on their own

When they--when they get me to my lowest point,

But I know I can't because they're my children,

And I love them.

I can't take it.

No wonder this woman's feeling so low.

I mean, she's just fighting constantly all the time.

She must be exhausted.

I would like to be back in charge of my children.

I'd love that very much.

Tara, hold on in there

Because I'm on my way to help you right now.

♪♪♪

[Doorbell rings]

Oh, hey.hello.

Hello.how are you?

Yeah, not bad.it's nice to meet you.

[Tara] when I first met jo, I was feeling very nervous

And thinking to myself, can this be done?

Can she change my children?

[Jo] and who's this?my name's casey.

Hi, casey. Pleased to meet you.

And how old are you, casey?.

And what's your name?rhysy.

Oh, hi, rhysy.i'm .

You're . Can you shake jo jo's hand?

Pleased to meet you.

And what's your name?shannon.

Hi, shannon. Pleased to meet you.

I'm jo jo. How old are, shannon?.

. Okay. Now we've got the ages.

I'm here today to observe.yeah.

So whatever you would normally be doing now...right. I know. Yep.

Just carry on and do, and I'm just gonna probably

Just mosey around. Okay.yeah. Yeah. Hey, rhys, sit down over there.

[Jo] so I was watching the kids,

And then rhys started to kick off and have a meltdown.

Stop that. You're not going out, rhys.

Rhys, you can't. I've locked the door.

[Kicking on door]rhys, don't kick the door, please.

Don't. You're gonna smash that glass.

Do not do that!

Stop it. Do not hit me.[Screams]

I don't like it, rhys.

Listen to me. Jam--jam or ham?i want nothing!

Nothing!jam or ham?

Nothing!well, I'll just make it then.

You'll have it.[Crying]

Listen to me. You've got to eat.

[Crying]

Ow. Don't.

[Rhys crying][jo] and like that wasn't bad enough,

Shannon started to kick off and slap and punch her mom.

All right!

Don't kick her!

And don't kick me.

I don't think it's right

That these kids behave the way they do,

And the fact that mom doesn't give them discipline is wrong.

No!

Don't!

[Jo] mom's absolutely drained

From having to, time and time again,

Deal with this kind of behavior.

It needs to stop.

No.

[Bleep] fat bastard!

That is not nice!

Shut up, fat bastard!

No!

The fact that rhys swears the way he does

And that's accepted in the house

Is absolutely beyond me.

I mean, that does need to stop a.s.a.p.

No, not on this side, rhys.

Tara had mentioned to me that picking the kids up from school

And bringing them home was a nightmare,

So I wanted to see this for myself.

[Screaming]it's a very busy road, this main road,

So I am curious to see

Exactly how tara manages the kids on her walk home.

[Yelling indistinctly]

Look, they're just chasing up the road.come here!

All right. Rhys?[Jo] now she's lost him.

No!

[Jo] unbelievable. This is absolutely crazy.

There's rhys running all over the place.

Tara's trying to catch up with him.

She's shouting out his name. He's not listening to her.

I'll tell you, it was enough to give you a heart att*ck.

The fact that mom's not managing rhys

Allows this dangerous situation to happen time and time again.

Crazy. Absolutely crazy.[Car horn honking]

Coming up on "supernanny"...

Open this door!

Mom's expl*sive temper at bedtime

Is supernanny's worst nightmare.

I don't want to see you, okay?[Crying]

Stay there and don't come out!

And later, jo's not in the mood to hear excuses...

You put rhys in danger on that street

Coming home from school to home.

He could have got hit by a car.

Yeah, I know.

No, not, "yeah, I know," tara. Wake up, girl.

When "supernanny" returns.

So I'm in the u.k. With tara and the kids.

Rhys, get off.and after school,

She decides that she's going

To take them all food shopping.

So there I am watching rhys do exactly what he does

In the house and on his way home from school.

Tara's not managing to deal with rhys' behavior anywhere.

Let's face it.

Thanks, rhys.

When I take rhys shopping,

He swears, he kicks, he throws.

He completely makes me feel humiliated, angry,

And it's unbearable to go shopping.

Rhys' behavior

Is bad enough in the supermarket,

And then he decides to pull his same old stunts outside.

Grab him.rhys comes out of the supermarket,

And he runs straight through the car park.

[Tara] grab him, shan.

[Jo] mom doesn't go to chase him. She calls out for shannon.

[Yelling indistinctly]

She starts to run. She pins down rhys.

Up. Yeah, you will get run over.

I mean, let's face it.

She's lucky the kid hasn't been hit by a car.

[Yelling indistinctly]

[Jo] so eventually, we get back home,

And mom becomes very emotional.

...one little bit. Oh. [Sniffles]

He's horrible.

It's certainly challenging for -parent families

Because they don't have the added supported help,

And tara is--is certainly in that situation.

She's raising her three kids by herself.

I can't do it. I can't-- [sniffles]

I just feel like I'm some sort of mug to take it,

But what else can I do? I'm still trying to do me best.

I think really for the first time

In observing tara and her family,

I got to see exactly how desperate tara's feeling.

[Sniffles] nothing works.

Nothing.

[Jo] it's near on bedtime.

Tara's completely exhausted.

Shannon, let's go.and she's still got to get the kids into bed.

No, I want a bath!

[Jo] there's no established bedtime routine.

The kids go to bed when they decide they want to go to bed.stop it!

That's fine.

In your room.in the bathroom now.

Shannon, unlock that door now.

Open this door.

[Giggling] no!

Now I've had enough of you, shannon.

In your room. I don't care.

I don't want to see you, okay?[Crying]

Stay there and don't come out!

Tara's temper is escalating.

It looks like it's about to get out of control,

And I need to stop it now.

All right, I'm telling you this now, okay?

I can see you're gonna lose it. You need to go downstairs.mm-mm.

It was getting dangerous, because tara was losing it,

And I knew it was about to become physical.

Just sit here for a minute.

Calm yourself down.[Shannon] mom, I want my blanket.

All right? And then carry on.

[Jo] even after tara had calmed down,

Shannon came down the stairs

And started to instigate more trouble.

Just go away, shannon. You're not having a bath.i want a bath.

Oh, and shannon wasn't giving up.

She knew exactly what buttons to push.

Shannon, stop it.

I want a bath!go to bed and leave me alone now.

I want you to leave me alone.

They're screaming at one another.

Outside, you can hear this family having a row,

And I mean, it's just chaos

In this house of an evening.

Just go in there.no!

Enough is enough.

I just can't wait for tomorrow so I can sit down with tara

Because she does need my help.

If I was going into w*r, let me tell you something, tara,

You'd be me right-hand man.mm-hmm.

You stay strong. You fight till the end.

You're in a w*r zone, but I've got to say...mm.

You're falling apart at the seams, girl, to be honest.

Mm-hmm. Yeah, I know.

I saw your kids punch you...

Mm-hmm.and hurt you.

Mm-hmm.where's the love there, and where's the respect

That your kids are meant to be showing you?

When actually they just treat you like some donkey.

I don't think I let them get away with too much.

Excuse me?i don't think I do.

Are you kidding me?very--not a lot. Not a lot.

It's not on, tara. How dare they hit their mother...mm-hmm.

Or anybody.they don't respect me. No, definitely not.

Because you tolerate it.yeah.

What was that school journey all about?

Tara, it was a circus parade!mm-hmm.

You put rhys in danger on that street

Coming home from school to home.mm-hmm.

You put him in danger when he was in that car park.

He could have got hit by a car.

Yeah, I know.

No, not, "yeah, I know," tara. Wake up, girl.

But when you're chasing him all day long,

You feel--you just get so tired of it,

So it is very hard.that's not a good enough excuse.

And then we're dealing with swearing.

The way the children talk to you is disgusting.mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.you don't discipline the kids.

There are no consequences for punching you in the face

Or kicking you.mm-hmm.

Let's be realistic here.

You're not coping inside your own home.

You're not coping outside.

Well, it's a-a-a big mess, isn't it?

But I'm not--i don't want to be that way.

And so what we're gonna do

Is something completely fresh.

I can give you the tools,

And I can give you the support

So that you can achieve the results you want.

Are you ready?

No, seriously, are you ready?

Yeah. Yeah, I'm ready to start and get this done.

Yeah?definitely.

Coming up on "supernanny"...

[Shannon] aah! Ew!

Can mom get rhys under control?

Aah!

And what will happen when tara gives up,

Leaving her kids on the street?

Come on. Let's go.no!

Tara!i can't do it.

Tara, your kids!

When "supernanny" returns.

[Doorbell rings]

Hello.hi.

Okay, need a routine in this house,

So it's going up on the wall.[Rhys yelling]

[Jo] I'm gonna start off teaching with placing a routine

In the house that allows this family to utilize time

And to really put more structure into place.

At :, everybody up, okay?

Then at :, snack time.

[Shannon] aah! Ew!

Rhys, would you like a drink?yes!

How do you ask for a drink?

Come down. Tell him to stop hitting you.mm.

Stop hitting me, rhys.

Say, "how do you--how do you ask for a drink correctly?"[Crying]

How--stop it!

Rhys, how do you ask for a drink?[Yelling indistinctly]

I didn't even get to finish explaining about the routine

Because rhys kicked off,

And I needed to teach tara discipline a.s.a.p.

[Screams]now this is what I'd like you to do.

Every time he does something that's totally unacceptable,

You are gonna come down to his level.yeah.

You're gonna give him eye contact,

And you're gonna use a low-toned voice.mm-hmm.

[Low-toned voice] "you do not."

You're protecting your voice. You're not shouting.mm-hmm. No.

If he chooses to carry on hitting...[Rhys screaming]

Or misbehaving...mm-hmm.

Then he is going to end up in a naughty corner.mm-hmm.

Because that's what we're gonna use here

For discipline for all of the children.all right.

This is the first time that you're going into this now.mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

"Do not hit me."Do not hit me, rhys.

[Crying]use your voice.

"Do not hit mommy."Do not-- do not hit mommy.

"That is naughty behavior."Do not hit mommy. That is naughty behavior.

[Crying]now up you go. Leave him, and up you go.

Right. On we go, straight.

Straight...[Crying]

Now you stay there.[Screaming]

Rhys doesn't want to listen. He comes out of the corner.

Come and get him. Straight back.

Don't talk to him.

But it's up to mom to make sure she puts him back

And she does the discipline properly.

[Crying]you go straight back.

Straight back, and you put him into the corner.

Don't talk to him.

Straight in the corner and walk away.

Walk away. What are you hanging around for?

Back into the corner, and you leave him there.[Crying]

Okay, now you're gonna get him. You're gonna carry him.

Rhys is just not standing into the naughty corner,

And I just feel it's gonna be a waste of energy.

[Jo]not again.

[Crying]

No, you [bleep].

[Laughing]

[Laughing]

No, you--

[Crying]now you stay there.

[Screaming]

I'm thinking that this is not gonna work.

[Screaming]okay, come with me, mom.

Mom is starting to sweat over this.

It's like she wants to throw in the towel,

But she's got to keep going.

She can't give up. She can't quit.

She needs to follow through and get it done.

We're taking back control today, all right?mm-hmm.

And no more nonsense.mm-hmm.

You do not allow your son to treat you like that.mm-hmm.

All right.

[Crying]

[Jo] okay, put him in the corner.

I want to stay!

[Crying]okay, this is your first sign

Of him recognizing you have the power.mm-hmm.

You turned around and he said to you, "I'll stay there."Mm-hmm.

[Screams]okay, and right now

He's where he's meant to be.mm-hmm.

[Crying]

Come here. You're doing good.

[Crying]

[Jo] so rhys did relent eventually,

But mom does need to get her apology,

And they need to have hugs and kisses.

Mommy put you in a naughty corner

Because you kept hitting me.

[Crying]"and I told you not to hit me."

And I told you not to hit me.

"And you did not listen."

And you did not listen."I want you to say 'i'm sorry, mommy.'"

I want you to say "you're sorry, mommy."Sorry.

Turn around.turn around.

We cuddle.we cuddle.

[Crying]"thank you."

You're accepting the apologies.thank you.

Thank you.thank you, rhys.

Tara remained very calm and in control,

And rhys understood that she meant business

And that she was taking the reins back.

How do you ask mommy for a drink?

Say, "mommy, can I have a drink, please?" Okay?

Yes, you can, rhys.

It was hard putting rhys

Into the naughty corner so many times,

But when rhys finally said "sorry"

And asked politely for a drink, it made it all worth it.

[Laughs] you're smiling, huh?mm-hmm.

You did that.mm-hmm.

You did that, okay?mm-hmm.

Give me a hug, you. Oh!

So we've started to manage the situations inside the house.

Let's go and take care of the ones outside the house.

Okay, come right here.

This school journey home

Is a very dangerous one for all concerned

Because rhys does run into the road,

And he's forever trying to escape mom.

So it's absolutely vital that we get this down

So that the school journey home is a much safer one

And that everybody concerned can get home in one piece.

Listen, this is what we're gonna do now.

On the way home...

Jo jo has this happy feet map.

So I'm going to introduce the happy feet map

Because it's really gonna help rhys

Become more engaged on the way home.

This happy feet map has landmarks

That are relatable to rhys on his way home,

And when he spots them, he gets a sticker,

And he'll be rewarded that way.

So we're gonna walk down the road...

Come on, then.and when you see the church, I want you to say to mommy,

"Mommy, there's the church,"

And you'll put a sticker on it, okay?

What do you think, rhys? Have you seen it yet?

Stop. Rhys. Rhys. Look, come here.

Ow. You've got my finger!

Let's get up. Whee. Come on. Up.

Let's go.

Up you go.[Speaking indistinctly]

[Jo] I can see that tara's patience

Is wearing thin.

She's tired, and if she's losing interest,

He's gonna lose interest.

Let's look for the duck pond then.

Listen. Listen. Listen to me.

Lift up your voice, girl. If you're gonna find it,

You'd better be finding it on this journey, okay?yeah. Yeah.

Well done. He's very receptive to praise, okay?

You hold his hand.here we are.

[Speaking indistinctly]let's find the duck pond then, shall we?

There was so much going on for tara.

She was losing patience, losing stamina,

And at the same time, she wasn't thinking about road safety.

Look what's happening here.what did I say?

Rhys, I didn't say--stop. What's happening here?

He's stepping out onto the road.yeah.

You can't afford that. You've got cars everywhere.yeah, I know.

Back here.right. Stand back, rhys. All right, let's cross.

[Speaking indistinctly]yeah, but I've got to hold your hand

To cross the road, rhys.

All right, rhysy, what are we looking for?

Rhysy? Rhysy, what are we looking for?

A shop!a shop.

I was giving it all my best,

But rhys just wasn't cooperating.

Turn around. They're not even doing--

They're not poking out the windows. Up.let's find the shop.

[Crying]up he gets.

I was so tired that I just wanted to give up.

I'm really stressed out still.

So if they're not ready, then I don't want to do it.so what's gonna happen?

Who's gonna get these kids home?

I'm just gonna walk home. I'm just going home.

Come on. Let's go.no!

We're not walking home!come on, girls.

I'm not doing it.tara!

No, I don't want to do it. I'm walking.tara!

I don't want to do it.tara, your kids!

Come on, girls. Let's go.your kids!

Girls, come on.come here!

Coming up on "supernanny"...

You can do it.jo confronts mom.

If you give up on the first time you try,

What are you saying?

And later, rhys isn't going down without a fight...

[Screaming]

When "supernanny" returns.

I'm not doing it.

[Jo] you know, tara's charged off with rhys.

She's left the girls behind.

You can't expect to get new results

If you quit.

[Jo] wait for me.[Tara] but I don't want to do it, jo, no more.

I can't do it. I don't want to do it.tara. Stop.

I can't, 'cause I'm losing my temper, and I can't do it.stop. You can do it.

This is the first time you've done this.mm.

Give yourself some credit, girl.yeah, I know.

Yeah, give--no, give yourself some credit.

You don't give yourself enough credit.

You're too hard on yourself...

[Sniffles]and then all he recognizes is that you turn around

And say, "right. That's it. I've had enough."

If you give up on the first time you try,

What are you saying?

Okay, tara, let's do it together, okay?yeah.

Find it again, okay?mm-hmm.

Oh, all right. Come on.

[Sniffles]

What one-- what one's next?

What's that big palm tree?

Have we found it yet?found it.

You've done very well, didn't you?

Here, look. You can stick your sticker on.

[Jo] you see?[Tara] mm-hmm.

When you give encouragement, when you're calm...[Sniffles]

When you give him praise, he became more receptive.yeah. Yeah.

Can you see a blue door anywhere?

At first, I just wanted to get

The kids home as quick as possible.

Yeah, that's it there.[Jo gasps] wow.

Oh, yes. See?

But once I finally calmed down,

We, as a family, really enjoyed it.

Well done, rhys.

Tara needed somebody who wasn't going to quit on her.

With a little bit of encouragement,

She got back in the game.

Well done.hug.

Aw.

After getting through the day,

The biggest challenge for tara is going to be bedtime.

Already, you're setting yourself up for failure,

Because this is you. [Sighs heavily]

Yeah, I know. I know.because you're worried, okay?

We're gonna do this together, okay?mm-hmm.

[Jo] tara used to put the kids down all at the same time,

But that meant that rhys was overtired,

And the older girls wouldn't get any quality time with mom.

We read this book, and you go to sleep.

So what I've done in the routine is staggered the bedtimes,

So she can read to the girls and rhys can get to bed on time.

[Yawns]all done.

[Laughs]now time for bed.

Time for bed, rhys.[Laughs]

[Jo] all right, out you come. Leave it.

Don't force the covers on him.

No, you're not gonna force him

Because you're gonna do the stay-in-bed-technique,

Which will be when you kiss rhys good night and put him to bed.[Rhys yells]

If he comes out, you say to him, "it's bedtime, darling,"

And you put him back in.

If he comes out the second time,

Take him back to his room, and you say, "it's bedtime."

If he comes out a third time, you say nothing.

You don't reward him with communication at all,

And you just put him back into his bedroom.

All right, the first one is "bedtime, darling."

Bedtime, darling.[Laughs]

I've given tara the stay-in-bed technique to do with rhys,

And the only way mom is gonna get successful results

Is to follow through and remain calm.

Yeah!

[Jo] so it's bedtime.

This is the second time you're saying it.it's bedtime.

And the third time, you say nothing.

Yeah!

Yeah!

[Jo] according to the routine,

Tara should now be having fun reading with the girls.

Mom, stop it!

[Jo] realistically, until tara gets this bedtime technique

Under control with rhys,

The girls are always gonna be shortchanged.

Yeah, I know, but I'm waiting for him to go to sleep.

No. No.

[Crying]

I'm really proud of her.

I mean, I do think she's doing remarkably well.

From a lady earlier on who just said, "that's it.

I'm not doing anymore" and stormed off down the street,

She could have been at the end of her tether again tonight,

But she's held on in there to the end.

It's taken a long time to get rhys into bed,

But it finally worked.

Whew!

That was a heavy hour and minutes.mm-hmm.

But you did it...

Mm-hmm.and you remained consistent...

Mm-hmm.and you followed through...

Mm-hmm.and you stayed calm.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.so you should be extremely proud of yourself.

It's been a real breakthrough for mom,

Because she has followed through,

And she's been very, very strong tonight.

But I still want to do the bedtime routine

Before I leave for the girls' sake.

Because we've seen rhys play up in the supermarket

And that is very embarrassing for mom,

What I'm going to do is teach her a technique

To get all her kids involved.

All right, I've divided the pages

And given each child a list.

[Jo] if mom can engage rhys

In more activity with her,

Then he's less likely to misbehave.

What are we looking for? Nice bananas?some oranges.

Oh, well done, rhys. Brilliant. Very good.good shopper.

It just goes to show you that a little bit of encouragement

Goes a very long way.

Rhys was listening, taking direction from mom.

He was engaged with the shopping trip.

There, you got carrots, didn't you now?

You eat them raw, don't you?

[Jo] okay, what's next on our list?

All right, what's next? Chips.

Yeah, chips. Well done. You're gonna find them, aren't you?who said chips?

Rhysy. Mm. Well done.

Brilliant.

Well done, rhys. Come. Ready?

Sauce.

You put them in there. Well done.

He likes them. Wow, strong boy.

You've done really well, didn't you? You did.

[Jo] yeah, well done, all of you!

So well done to all of you

'Cause you work nicely with mommy.

The shopping trip was a big success,

And now I can reward rhys.

As a treat, you can go on the airplane.

You've been so good in helping me shop.

Oh. Well done.[Shannon] yay!

Put that in.oh, yay!

♪♪♪

Because it took so long for rhys to get to bed last night,

The girls were shortchanged.

Hopefully, tonight I get to do the bedtime routine with them.

Here you go. Get settled.

The bedtime routine for rhys took a very long time.

Here you go. What one would you like?

So I'm hoping tonight it will be a lot less time.

Do you want me to read that one, yeah?

So far, everything is going absolutely beautifully,

And everything's very calm, which is fantastic.

She's doing a really, really good job.

Kiss, darling.

The fact is once rhys is going to bed soundly...good night.

It means that mom can concentrate on the girls.what does that say?

"I saw my..."

Mom!

Mom!

Mom! Mom!"I said give me..."

Mom!

[Jo] rhys decided to get out of bed and challenge mom.

No [bleep].

Okay, leave-- ignore that.

Okay, keep nice and calm.

But mom didn't cave in. She remained composed.

She did the stay-in-bed technique with rhys,

And that's a really good sign.

Bedtime.[Crying]

It was great to see

That mom had followed through with the technique

Because it allowed the girls to get the time they needed,

And by :, all the kids were in bed.

Bedtime tonight was a huge success for tara.

I mean, she just showed herself

That she was capable of doing it.

That took less time...than yesterday.

Than yesterday.

And the girls got time tonight with you downstairs.

Hmm. Yeah, that's right.give me a hug, you!

Look at you.

You're getting this completely down, huh?mm-hmm. Yeah. Definitely.

[Jo] now that rhys' behavior is improving,

It's going to be very important

That tara spends some time with the girls.

You need to do that. Well done, case. You cut that well.

I think it's really important

For mom to spend time with the girls

Because there's been a lot of hostility between them all,

And also, their time has been taken away

Because of rhys' behavior.

[Tara] before supernanny came,

I didn't spend a lot of time with the two girls,

And we made jelly fruit today in the kitchen,

And they loved it, and I loved doing it with them.

[Jo] so, can I have a hug?

Jo jo's going now.

Bye, sweetie. See you when I get back.

So it is time for me to go,

And I'm gonna leave all the techniques with tara

To take ownership of them.

Hey, take care, tara.

The techniques are very good,

But I am very concerned once jo leaves.

[Jo] I do feel that she is going to have her buttons pushed.

I do feel that shannon will test her,

And I hope that tara just remembers

Everything she's been taught whilst I've been here.

Coming up on "supernanny,"

With jo gone, can mom keep it together?

Do not throw!

Or will she lose her cool

And point the finger at her own kids?

That's because--all because you two were loud.

When "supernanny" returns.

Hello. Hello.

It has been two weeks

Since I've left the howat family in the u.k.,

And yes, I'm curious to see

Exactly how well they've done since I've been away.

What we're gonna do now is take a look

At the footage whilst I've been away...mm-hmm.

And you've been doing the techniques

By yourself with the children.

Mm... Mum.

Do you think you can do that maybe?i can.

Oh, that's an "m." That's well done.

And then another "mum."

Yeah, you've done really well.

I spent about two minutes going "aw."Mm-hmm.

"Oh, look."

You've taken that time out with rhys

In going over his letters,

And just look how receptive he is...mm.

To all the praise that you're giving him.mm-hmm.

Such a positive message to rhys here.

So well done, tara.

So let's see how the school walk went.

Well done. Brilliant walking.

Brilliant. Can we see the wheel, I wonder?

Where is it?there!

Oh, well done.

Are you ready to stick your sticker on?yeah.

Look, the ducks!

Oh, yeah, there's lots of ducks.

There's so many swimming!

I can't see.i can't see.

I can see it. Where?

There. You can see it? Well done.

Brilliant work, rhys.

Oh, yeah.

Is that your son?[Laughs] yeah.

It's good, isn't it, how he's been walking?[Laughs]

Look at you!

This is so good, tara.

Mm-hmm.so good.

I'm curious to see

How you handled discipline with shannon.

I want one piece.

I want one piece.

No, I want one more piece.all right, shannon, I've got--listen.

I want that piece. All right, I've got to give you a warning now,

And that's a warning, okay?[Cries]

So if you'd like to go off... I want one.

And I don't-- I want one piece.

You're going to have two,

Because you need a full lunch, okay?

Because then you get hungry.

I don't want any. I don't get hungry.

Shannon, you have a choice.

And that was the warning.

"I'm gonna give you a warning, and that's a warning."

I was supposed to give it--

Yeah, I know. I kept saying it, didn't i? Only once--if they start misbehaving--

Yeah.only once.

Yeah.there's only one warning.

If you tell her umpteen times...mm-hmm.

To stop doing something, then you're guaranteed

That she will do loads of times not listen...mm-hmm.

And just keep running

And running past that boundary line all the time.

All right, shannon, off you go.

You've had your warning. If you're gonna--shannon.[Cries]

Go in the naughty corner.ow!

And you're going to walk there, shannon.

[Cries]

No!come down.

Stand up...no. I want to go to my room.

And you stand there.no!

[Crying]

Oh, I can't do this.

They march about...

[Crying]

[Crying]

Do not hit me!

[Crying]

That won't happen.

No, no, no, no!

You have lost your free time now. Let's go. No!

When you took her back to the corner

And you talked to her...mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

You see, how did you feel when that was all happening?

Very angry.

You got a battle going on here.mm-hmm.

And you need to be the one that steps away from it.

When you remain calm,

When you don't feed into the fire of confrontation

With shannon, then it's all different.

So it's about recognizing that, okay?hmm.

Now let's see what bedtime's like.

Excuse me. It's quiet time. [Shannon] I want one.

I will give you a warning.

All right, girls, girls, would you go sit down now

And be silent? [Shannon shouting indistinctly]

No, could you go sit down and be silent?

I'm put--put--now putting your brother to bed.

[Giggles] [tara] all right, warning!

Now you lie down, please, rhys. I'm not having this.

I was getting-- off you go.

I was putting something down.

Off you go, please. I'm trying to read--

I was--i was putting some... [Speaking indistinctly]

I've just asked you to go downstairs.

Girls, go downstairs.

Look at your face.yeah.

You've got your hand over.

You're like, "in a minute..."Mm.

"I am going to snap."Mm-hmm.

All right, what should you have done

Right at that moment?

Ignore them.

That's when you go in to rhys,

And you say, "mommy be back in a minute, darling,"

And that's when you take yourself into the bathroom...mm-hmm.

And you take a minute and you recognize

"I've got an option here to either remain calm..."Mm-hmm.

"And get through the evening in the correct manner,

Or to behave another way..."Mm-hmm.

"Which then will manifest itself in mayhem."

[Tara speaking indistinctly]

I'm coming!

[Rhys] yeah!

[Making passing gas sounds] oh, yay!

[Screaming]

That's because--all because you two were loud

And I couldn't get him calm...

And he's gone hyper.

[Jo] excuse me?mm-hmm.

Excuse me?i blamed them.

That's quite a big responsibility

For them to hold on their own shoulders

That it's their fault

That their brother don't sleep in the bed...hmm.

That their brother creates all the time.

[Rhys giggling]

[Rhys yelling indistinctly] he's gone back

To the way he was, definitely.

[Laughing]

Do not throw, right?

Right.

[Crying]

Do not... Throw!

I felt embarrassed in front of jo by her watching that,

But it's made me more determined not to do it again.

That was ugly.mm-hmm.

And when you shout to that degree,

Where you're pointing at them in their face,

It's intimidating.

And I know that you can get through that bedtime

Without going back to how you were before.

Mm-hmm.

Ready for some more work then?mm-hmm. Yep.

Okay. Brilliant.

Coming up...

Rhys, give that back, please.yeah!

Can mom get her temper under control before jo leaves?

This is rhys that we're seeing from last week,

But what we're not gonna see is you from last week.

Or will things go horribly wrong?

When "supernanny" returns.

After watching this dvd, it's plain and obvious

That tara needs to control her temper

When shannon decides to push her buttons.

On the way to the park, shannon sat on the floor.

She didn't want to get into the car.

Okay, you have a decision to make.

And it was a perfect opportunity for me to show mom

Exactly how to deal with this circumstance.

That's your decision--

Whether you're gonna carry on and sit on that floor

And not listen to mommy

Or whether you're going to,

But remember, if you make a decision not to,

Then there are consequences for that.

What are you going to do?

Okay. Lovely. Good decision-making.

That is exactly what you want to do, okay?yep.

This is not about you forcing her to go anywhere.no.

This is about shannon knowing already.

All right, then let's go have some fun in the park.

When we get to the park, shannon is still sulking,

And I explained to mom

Focus on the children that are behaving well

So that you don't give the attention

To the child who's misbehaving.

Whoa. Wow. Done right.

[Jo] goal!

Yeah, give me five! Goal!

Jo taught me to ignore shannon's behavior

And not get drawn into a fight.

Here we go, shannon.

I was surprised that once shannon joined in,

We had a brilliant day.

Shannon and tara's relationship has been very volatile,

And I believe that shannon has been feeling the pinch

Of mom having to deal with rhys' behavior all the time,

So I'm gonna bring them together

So they can have some quality time

And share a few moments.

Let me open the first line for you.mm-hmm.

Sometimes you two bang heads together.

Yeah, we do argue, don't we, shannon?

And mommy, as well, because mommy shouts,

And she gets angry, as well.

So what do you think that the two of you

Could do more of to help the situation?

Yeah, that's right.

What else could you do, shannon,

That would help mommy

So that she wouldn't get angry with you

And put you in the naughty corner?

That's it. Now you're thinking.

How much does mommy love shannon?

Mommy loves shannon millions.

Yeah?trillions.

And trillions and trillions?the whole world, hmm?

And trillions and trillions and trillions and trillions!mm.

And how much does shannon love mommy?

Lots and lots and lots and lots

And lots and lots and lots.mm.

Since supernanny's been here,

Um, mom's saying nice things to us,

Like, "excellent. Well done."

It makes me feel really happy.

It's nice to spend time with you.

[Jo] putting these two people together

And allowing them to talk really makes shannon realize

That her mommy does love her very much.

Tara's biggest challenge still is bedtime,

And there's no way I'm leaving until she can manage this.

Rhys, give that back, please.yeah!

All right, come here.

Every time he gets hyper,

Don't shout and get hyper with him.no.

Be the complete opposite, okay?yeah.

Remember his cycle.

This is--this is rhys that we're seeing from last week...

Mm-hmm.all right?

But what we're not gonna see is you from last week.

No.all right.

[Singing indistinctly]

What one do you want?this one!

That one?that's good.

Good boy. Kissy-kiss then.

Night-night.

[Tara] I stayed calm, and rhys didn't get out of bed once.

Absolutely marvelous.

You remained really calm.

He started to create just before bedtime...mm-hmm.

And you didn't rise to any of that,

And you created that nice ambience

For him to feel very rested...mm-hmm.

And wanting to put his head down on that pillow.

Right. Yeah. Look now.

[Tara] listen.[Girls giggling]

Look like peas.[Laughing]

What's really nice is to see mom

Enjoying bedtime with the girls, reading stories

And actually having a laugh, all of them...[Girls giggling]

Which is a big difference to what it used to be like

When she used to put the girls to bed,

So it's nice to see that.

Kissy-kiss. Night.love you.

All right. Night-night, girls.[Speaking indistinctly]

I feel great.

I don't feel stressed...

Angry...

Nothing...

Nothing at all, not even tired.

Tara's come a long way, and it's shown me

That when this woman puts all her heart and focus

Into her children,

She's capable of doing anything.

Listen, take care. It's been a pleasure.

Yeah, it's nice having you here. It's been great.thank you.

There is a turnaround in this family--

Happy mom, happy kids and definitely a happy nanny.

Hey.

Would you walk nicely with me?whoo.

Whoo. Whoo.rhys?

[Tara] rhys.

You two get off the trolley.

It's not a game.

♪♪♪