05x18 - The Goldberg Family

[bunniefuu]

Tonight on "supernanny,"

Jo visits the goldberg family in arizona.

Ow!

Knock it off! I have had it.

These twins are partners in crime.

Hey, I'm gonna get him![Man] jacob!

[Cries]and -year-old jayden screams and stomps

Until she gets what she wants.oh, boy.

Stop. Stop. Stop!

Fireman dad's got serious anger issues.

[Children crying]sit down right here now. Sit down!

[Children screaming]it's rubbing off on all three kids...

Shut up!ow!

And dad's guilt is eating him alive.

[Voice cracks] I don't like yelling at 'em.

Do you want me to make a phone call?

Mom has given all of her authority

To an imaginary police duo.

Policeman smith and policeman jones.oh, they've got names?

Yeah.but where are the cops when they need them?

Everybody says, "enjoy these years...

[Cries]'cause they go fast," but I'm not enjoying 'em.

[Siren wails]this is a "supernanny" emergency.

Come with me.can jo come to the rescue?

Get down there and show him who's boss!

Go![Screams] no!

♪♪♪

♪♪♪

♪♪♪

Desert land, tucson, arizona, is where I'm at,

Ready to take a look

At a family that desperately need my help.

Hi, we're the goldberg family from tucson, arizona.

I'm adam. I'm shelby, and we have three children.

[Adam] josh, josh! Jacob, stop! She hit me.

[Whining] /-year-old twin boys-- jacob and joshua...

[Shelby] and our daughter jayden who's /. No!

[Screams]

[Crying] hey, guys.

I'm a dietician and diabetes educator.

Bye.

I am a captain/paramedic with the local fire department.

I work -hour shifts about days a month. [Siren wails]

I fully understand what it's like

To be a single parent.

I guess mom would feel like a single parent

With dad doing -hour shifts.

Jacob, get upstairs! Now! No!

When I'm by myself, it's challenging.

Come out of the car. No!

[Wails] no! They do act up more.

Everything has escalated... I can't fight with you.

Where they're talking back to me.

Do not stick your tongue out at me. [Shouts indistinctly]

[Screams]

[Shelby] with jacob, the most concerning thing

Is his temper. Ow!

Aah![Adam] he gets wronged, he gets angry.

[Shouts indistinctly]jacob!

Oh, dear.

Hey, no. [Giggles] joshua thinks everything is a joke...

It's not funny. Everything's funny,

Even when we're disciplining him.now stop.

[Laughing] no.pick up all these right now.

Y-y-yeah. And so that gets us

More frustrated at him.

Get in your room and close the door.

[Laughs]

Jayden. [Screams] no! No!

[Adam] jayden's biggest issue is her tantrums.

She falls to the ground.

She will cry and--and scream out loud,

And she's starting to hit now. No! No.

Stop. Stop. Stop. [Screams] my turn!

[Crying] this is just getting harder and harder

As they get older. [Crying]

This doesn't only take place at home.

This takes place... In public places.

Stop. Josh, leave her alone. Josh, leave her...

You know what? I would just give it to her.

Look at this-- feeding time at the zoo.

[Whispers] stop. [Boys giggling]

Out of my purse.

[Normal voice] get--get--stop.

I'm tired of yelling.

I'm tired of saying "stop" a hundred times in a day

To the kids. Stop. Stop. Stop!

You know what? I am fed up. Joshua, stop it!

Go upstairs now before I start getting really angry.

Stop! Sit down right here now. Sit down! [Children screaming]

Now that man's anger is trouble ahead.

Aah! Ow!

[Crying] [screaming]

Joshy. Ow!

We're at our wit's end.

We're not making any headway in their behavior.

We need your help. Desperately.

Don't hit him. Ow!

Go! [Screams] no!

[Both] supernanny, will you please come help us?

Knock it off! I have had it.

It looks like your family have a -- emergency.

I'm on my way.

♪♪♪

[Doorbell rings]

Hello. What's your name?hi. Josh.

Hi, josh. Pleased to meet you. I'm jo.

How you doing?i'm shelby.

Hi, shelby. Pleased to meet you.i'm adam.

Hi, adam. Pleased to meet you. Jo.same here.

Mom and dad were genuinely pleased to see me there.

Hi, jacob. Pleased to meet you.

Say hi.when I first met jo, she was like a-a knight

In shining armor. I really felt a relief.

I was kind of nervous, thinking that,

"Wow, I'm opening up my whole family to her."

Stop eating like that.

It was snack time when I arrived,

And the twins were chomping away at their popcorn.

Jacob, stop eating like that, please.

Yeah, I'm gonna take it away. Listen, listen.

And as the kids kicked off,

Mom and dad started giving them commands

As if they were talking to a badly trained dog.

Joshy, sit in your chair. Josh, come on. Sit.

[Shelby] josh, please don't throw grapes.

Last time-- stop throwing the food.

Jacob...[Both] stop.

[Jo] all this noise about "stop, stop, stop,"

They didn't listen

And do as they were told,

And it just led to an increase in dad's frustration.

[Adam] joshy, put it down now.

Put it dow--one.

Two. No! Put it down!

Come here, both of you, right now.

[Shelby] I think you need to now.right now. Come here.

I'd already noticed in submission

That dad had some serious anger issues to address,

And it didn't take long for me to see his first expl*si*n.

Stop. No more.

Aah.

Sit up!

Okay.

When the kids aren't listening

And I'm repeating myself a lot,

My frustration level gets very high very fast.

Go. Clean up.[Shouts indistinctly]

Dad gave up on getting the boys to listen to him,

And then the family decided that they were gonna play a game.

[Josh crying]

But josh wouldn't settle.

He was still kicking off, and mom sent him to his room.

Go. Go.[Shelby] now.

No!yes.

Go.one, two.

No! I'm not going to go!i don't want you to open this.

Do you want me to make a phone call?no!

Phone call to who?one of the ways to get them to listen to us,

We've kind of threatened that we're gonna call

The policeman to come.who?

The policeman.

So, joshua, I'm gonna make a phone call right now.no!

Come upstairs now, or I'm dialing. That's it.stop.

You're really calling the police?no, but they think I am.

Upstairs. Here I go.okay, I'm right here.

It's ringing. It's ringing.

Calling the pretend police?

Well, I mean, I've heard it all now, haven't i?

Josh went into his bedroom,

And I thought I'd get more details from mom.

So is it like a team of police, or just one policeman...two policemen.

Policeman smith and policeman jones.or policewoman?

Oh, they've got names?

Yeah.policeman smith and policeman...

And we call to see who's on duty,

No matter where they are.

When adam's at work sometimes, I call, and I talk to him,

And he puts on a voice and pretends he's a policeman.

So for me, when I'm by myself,

This is the only method that works.

I've tried everything.

Policeman smith and policeman jones,

Putting on voices,

When actually, what you need to do

Is deal with your own kids.

[Whispers] it's crazy.

Be good for daddy, please.no.

Have a good day.mom went off to work,

And for the second time, I saw dad's temper flare up.

Knock it off!

What do you think you're doing?

And I needed to know how aware he is of it.

Stop! Come on.

How do you manage your-- your frustration, your anger?

What kind of things have you got in place

To support your tolerance level?not much.

It--it just builds to a point where I yell.

Right.and i, you know, I've had it, and they know it.

Okay. Has that got worse over time?yes.

Okay.you know, and then after the fact,

I'll get really upset about what I've done

Or how...yeah.

[Voice cracks] how mad I get for 'em--or to 'em.

But I have been getting worse and getting more frustrated,

And I don't want to keep going that direction.

I don't want to be angry all the time.

I've--i've-- do you know what?

I've really hit a nerve here, haven't i? Yeah?

I just don't like yelling at 'em.

You guys think it's funny.

[Jo] the kids know how to push dad's buttons,

And then he gets really angry,

And then he feels guilty about it afterwards.

And mom, well, let's face it.

She's got no authority at all, and the kids know this.

We're gonna work on that.[Normal voice] thank you.

I'm sorry.[Chuckling] yeah.

Coming up on "supernanny,"

It's "bad cop, bad cop" from jo.

All the authority is now in the hands

Of police officers smith and jones?

And mom confesses an ugly truth...

Everybody says, "enjoy these years

'Cause they go fast,"

But I'm not enjoying 'em.

When "supernanny" returns.

[Jo] mom got back from work,

And I got her together with dad

To tell them that I was taking them out on an outing.

I know one of your major, major problems

Was being out in public.

Mom and dad really dread taking the kids to a restaurant

Or quite frankly, anywhere in public,

Because the kids behave awful.

I knew I would have to actually see with my own eyes

What goes down,

So I arranged for the whole family

To go to a restaurant.

♪♪♪

Stop.

You could tell that this were a family

That have not taught their kids

How to behave at the table.

[Burps]joshua, stop it.

See everybody looking at you now?hmm?

These parents were really conscious

Of everybody staring at them.

They kept looking around,

Worrying what everybody was gonna think.

♪♪♪

Dad's talking through his teeth, like this.

Jacob, the people right behind me are getting upset.

Now sit in your chair until we check out.

I mean, how can you go to a restaurant

And have a decent meal

Without coming away with indigestion, seriously,

If you behave like that?

[Adam] okay, guys, I gotta go.

Aah![Whistles]

After we got back from the restaurant,

Dad immediately had to go to work and do his shift,

Which gave me now an opportunity to watch mom

And see how she deals

With the bedtime routine.

She started off giving jayden her bath.

And in the meantime, she wanted the boys to brush their teeth.

[Shelby] guys, come brush your teeth, please.

Aren't you guys supposed to get your, uh, teeth brushed?

Go brush your teeth now.

How many times have I asked you

To come in here and brush your teeth?

[Jacob] can we show you a trick?

They didn't listen. What a surprise.

Get down and brush your teeth. Stop. All right.[Both yelling indistinctly]

Who you calling? Who you calling?policeman smith.

No, mama.don't!

Then get in the bathroom. It's ringing.

B-b-b-b-bath! B-bath!

What does policeman smith have that you don't have?

Well, the authority.the authority.

[Jacob] okay. Tell her I'm taking a bath.

[Makes kissing sound]

After their baths, everybody was tucked into bed,

And I thought things would be sound.

But minutes later, josh got out of his bed

And decided he didn't want to sleep,

And now he was gonna challenge mom.

You need to get in bed now.

Yeah.

Joshua, come on. You really need to go up.

Then go play in the playroom for a minute.

You get five minutes, and then you have to go upstairs.

Unbelievable. Josh was deciding

What time he was going to bed,

And mom was going along with it.

See? Sometimes giving in is the only way. I don't kn...

Okay, five minutes, and that's it.

Then you're going up.

Minutes became minutes,

And mom still hadn't got josh into bed.

Oh. And then the worst happened.

I mean, what does he expect me to do?

What do you expect me to do, josh?

What would you do if you were the mommy?

What are you thinking?

Why are you asking your -year-old son?

He doesn't know.

And if he did know, he weren't gonna tell her, was he?

He wants to stay up.

By this time of the night,

I had certainly seen enough.

It was time for me to go.

I look forward

To seeing you tomorrow so that we can have a family meeting.

I am very nervous about what jo is gonna say tomorrow morning.

I am afraid that she's really gonna come down hard on us.

[Jo] tomorrow's a new day,

A day where I sit down and speak to this family

About their issues

So we can get to the bottom of them, once and for all.

♪♪♪

The first thing I do want to talk to you about

Is discipline

Because I don't see anything that's effective.

The empty threats have got to stop

Because "stop, no, don't do that"

Doesn't have any meaning in this house.

It means "carry on."

And all the authority is now in the hands

Of police officers smith and jones?

I mean, what's that all about?

It was a tool that we used

In order to get some attention,

To get their attention.

It--it worked.how long do you think it's gonna be

Before they turn around and say, "I don't care.

Bring officer smith to the door"?

What are you gonna do then? What are you gonna do?

Are you gonna dress up as officer smith?

It's ludicrous!

Instead of taking ownership of the authority yourself,

You've given it to some imaginary policemen.

Step up to the plate yourselves.

We want to.

The next thing that I want to talk about

Is the time and place.

If there's no balance of the times when they are told,

"Okay, we go out, and we can have fun now.

It's all great. Go for it, boys."

And then we come to this place,

"And actually, this is what's expected from you now,

Because we're in a place where these are the rules."

When we're in a restaurant,

We "x," "y" and "z" table manners.

We keep our volume to a certain level.

But there are no rules here,

So why do they respect rules anywhere else?

You've not taught them. They don't know a time and a place.

There's no awareness of others.

We have to teach our children that.

I understand.

Let's talk about yourself, adam.

The problem for you

Is how you learn to manage

Your frustration.

You don't respond to the kids' behavior

In a way that's effective

To bring about the change.i agree.

Yelling and getting f-- you know, frustrated

Is not the answer.it's not,

Because it's creating-- it's creating more hostility.

That's not allowing you to feel good about fatherhood

And the way you're connecting with your boys in raising them.

Right.you're reacting emotionally

To how they're behaving

Instead of just stepping back

And using the skill that you use in your job.

You need to make decisions

And respond to what's before you...

Absolutely.not react emotionally...

[Clears throat]because if every firefighter reacted emotionally,

You wouldn't be saving lives.

We'd be losing some of our own.correct.

Shelby, you know what you're doing wrong.

I just feel really inadequate as a parent.

I don't think I do anything right.

Everybody says, "enjoy these years

'Cause they go fast,"

But I'm not enjoying 'em.

[Crying]this is about how you choose to respond

To your children's behavior,

How you interact with them,

Because you are the adult. You are their mother,

And you need to be mrs. Big around here.

Are you prepared to work together?absolutely.

So we will work together very hard

For the next week,

And we will do what's necessary

For not just the kids' sakes,

But for yours, as well. Are we in?

Yes.absolutely.

%?%.

%.thank you.

Thanks. [Sniffles]

Coming up on "supernanny"...

Hand me the lollipop. Put it back in the wrapper. [Gasps]

Jo tells mom what she's missing...

Backbone--find it.

Woman-to-woman, find it.

And declares a no-cry zone...

Enough of the tears. Don't feel sorry for yourself anymore.

[Pounding fist] get down there and show me what you've got.

When "supernanny" returns.

Hi.hello.

Hello.[Jo] because mom and dad haven't been

On the same page with creating rules

That have been consistent,

I want to establish "house rules"

As the first technique for this family.

So I sat them down with a piece of paper, a pen,

And they talked and wrote down those house rules.

Once the family had established the house rules,

It was time for them

To sit the kids down and go through them.

I asked mom to do the honors

Because it's important

That she executes these rules and shows authority.

"Be kind with your words."

What does that mean, jacob?

Good job.i think they were all--

Had really good positive attitudes about it,

And they understood them really well.

"Listen." What does that mean?

Right.

They were able to provide us

With examples of each rule.

They gave us hope

That they really did understand what the rules were about.

What do you guys think?can you-- c-can you do it?

[Jacob] mm-hmm.yes.

One, two, three, squish.yay.

[Jacob] aah.[Makes kissing sounds]

With the rules now in place,

It's essential that mom and dad

Learn how to reinforce these together.

Let's face it.

Policeman jones and policeman smith

Do need to take retirement.

Mom and dad really do need

To step up and have the authority.

So what I'm going to do is to give them

A symbolic badge to remind them to find that.

Holding that badge of authority every day

Will be a little reminder

That this is what you are going to exercise

When the children play up and break the house rules.

We have not seen any from yourself, shelby,

And we've seen an authority

That, let's say, has stepped over the line, really.

I agree.[Jo] with their badges in their pockets,

Mom and dad can really focus

On having the authority themselves

And say good-bye to officer jones and smith

For good!

And when jacob broke the house rule

By taking a lollipop

When he'd already been warned not to,

It gave mom a chance to discipline and prove herself.

Jacob.a firm, authoritative voice.

He needs to go in time-out right now.

You know what we need to do now?

You're gonna be going to time-out.

You need to hand me the lollipop.[Speaks indistinctly]

Hand me the lollipop. Put it back in the wrapper.

[Gasps] okay.

I don't like time-outs.

I want you to go down--i'm gonna show you where time-out is.i want it! No!

I'm not going in time-out.

I can't lift you, jake. You're too heavy.

This is where you're gonna go to time-out.

No, you come back here where I put you. [Sighs]

[Jo] I could see mom getting really fed up with this.

Like, "you know what? This just isn't gonna work,

And I'm just gonna give up."

And I thought, she needs to get active

So these kids know

She is not messing around.

Mom, come here, please.

Come here, please.

And I went upstairs

And gave mom a very firm talking-to.

[Sighs]backbone, okay?

None of this--

[Sighs] "I don't know what to do."

I feel bad. Like, I mean...

I've--what do you feel?

I f--i'm trying to do it, but I can't.

I-i just don't have it right on.well...

I mean, 'cause I'm not used to doing this.

I'm really tr--find it.

I know, but...find it, okay?

Find it.

Woman-to-woman, find it.

I know, I have to.find it. Pull it out from somewhere,

Because if you don't,

That kid is gonna walk all over you

Like he's been doing for years, okay?well, I know.

None of the tears anymore.

None of the "I feel sorry for myself" anymore.

Get down there and show him who's boss!

It hurt my feelings to--to hear

That, as a mother, I have no backbone

When I thought I did,

So it was kind of emotional.

Enough of the tears. Wipe the tears away.

I'm sorry. I just can't--

No, no, no, no. You know what? Enough of the tears.

Okay? Enough of the tears. Don't feel sorry for yourself anymore.

[Pounding fist] get down there and show me what you've got.

Jacob. I want you to sit properly

On the stool now.no.

No!and I will tell you when you're done.

You need to take the shirt off, put it on your head.

Put it over your head...[Shouts] no!

So I can see you. I am talking to you right now.

All of a sudden, she started to project her voice,

And we saw a different shelby,

And so did jacob.

You sit here until you are done with your time-out.mm!

Do not kick me.

Do not do that! Do you understand me?

My talk with mom, as harsh as it was,

Turned things around,

Because when she got tough with jacob,

Discipline worked like a charm.

It felt so good to actually use that backbone

When I needed to.

You stayed in time-out very well, okay?

Mommy's very proud of you.

Jo has taught me

That I can actually have that backbone I need.

The authority that I had in my pocket, it was coming out.

[Jo] now that their rules are being enforced at home

And mom and dad are feeling more confident,

I've got a more daunting task for them.

They're gonna take their show on the road.

Look at this chart.

I brought in this great big, long chart

With all these visual pictures

Of places where they can have fun

And places where they need to be more reserved.

The park--is it the time and place

To have fun and be goofy and silly or not?

We can.okay, "kids at play."

We'll put that there.

They knew all the answers...restaurant--

Do we goof around? Do we be all silly?no.

Which adam and I were shocked at.

You did this extremely well.

So today, we are going to go to the library.

[Shelby gasps]

Shelby and I looked at each other,

And we thought, the library's the quietest place on earth.

Okay, so, mom, just set up the expectation, okay?

I was a little apprehensive about going to the library.

Is this a time and place for play?

No.okay.

I was so afraid

That I was gonna be embarrassed,

That my kids weren't gonna behave,

And we weren't gonna be able to control them.

And mom got so nervous--we'd only been there five minutes,

And she was trying to shoo the kids out.

Are you all done picking out?

'Cause joshy's gonna check 'em out.

You're rushing. Let's not rush.

You're rushing in case they play up.

But it turned out that she didn't have anything to worry about.

It was actually a surprise for mom and dad.

They were like, "oh, they really do

Know to behave themselves."

Of course they do.

They've just been allowed to get away with blue m*rder.

See, can I read that?you're being very quiet.

I just feel that when mom and dad get used

To recognizing that the children will listen to them,

They won't rush through every event.

[Shelby] the library was the most lovely time

That I've had so far in a public place.

The kids behaved. They listened.

They were quiet.

The library is...

Never once did I have to go, "shh!"

Or, "don't. Shh. Stop."

It was a great trip.

Coming up on "supernanny"...

Come with me.jo turns her attention to dad's temper.

Can he handle the pressure? [Wails]

And later, jacob's not taking time-out sitting down.

Can mom follow through without jo's help?idiot!

When "supernanny" returns.

What's the best way

To deal with a child who is a tricky eater?

"A"--let them pick their own food always,

"B"--ignore their behavior. It will pass,

"C"--encourage them to take a few bites?

Find out when we return.

What's the best way

To deal with a child who is a tricky eater?

"A"--let them pick their own food always,

"B"--ignore their behavior. It will pass,

"C"--encourage them to take a few bites?

The answer is "c".

By encouraging your child to try the food,

You allow them to explore different ones.

Lead by example,

And don't allow snacks to make up

For what they don't eat at the table.

♪♪♪

Mommy and daddy are gonna talk for a little while,

So you guys play nicely.

Now that mom's become more assertive,

What I do want to do now is deal with dad's short fuse,

Because he needs to keep his emotions in check.

So what I'm going to do is give him a technique

So that he can remain calm, whatever the provocation.

You're gonna be going to work.

You're gonna be dealing with an enormous amount of stress

And coming back into situations that you'd rather not be in.

Sure.and that's when you're gonna be tested.

So laying down what's necessary

And having the technique in place

Allows you to be prepared beforehand.

So this is what you are gonna do.

Count to ten-- one calm, two calm--

And come back again.

Counting to ten is acknowledging when you're losing it,

And when you feel this overwhelming...

Come with me. You're gonna count to ten.anger,

That you make a choice

To not let it get the better of you.

Don't let the anger make you the person

That makes you feel ashamed about the way you act.

Dad may not always have that self-discipline

He's going to need to deal with his short fuse,

So I've asked mom, whilst I'm gone for several days,

To make sure that she can help him.

So they're gonna need to practice the technique.

Go ahead and count.one calm,

Two calm...

My reaction to the kids' behavior

Is to get very frustrated and very angry very quickly.

Five calm...i'm yelling at them, and then I feel horrible,

Because I don't want to be in that position.nine calm...

[Jo] so they're doing it now.ten calm.

But the real test is when I'm not here

And when he loses it,

Whether she can step up to the plate

And do what she needs to do.

How do you feel?better.

It really does give me peace of mind

And a little bit of better focus to handle

And deal with the kids than I ever did before.

[Jo] later, dad did have the opportunity

To count to ten.

Jayden grace, look at me. Look at me.

I need for you to put those away

And finish your dinner right now, please.

Hey, you are not listening now.

I'll just do this, though.

[Coughs]this is your warning, jayden grace.

[Wails] no! No.you--listen. Listen to me.

Come here. Come here.[Screams] no!

[Crying] no.where are you...

[Crying]

[Wails][jo] so tell her she's going to do her time-out

And then explain.

The reason why you are getting this time-out

Is because you chose to play with your toys...[Crying]

And not finish your dinner.

Dad had done well up to this point,

But there was still more to come.

[Crying]

She's off.she's off.

[Jo] she got off. Dad placed her back.

She got off again. Dad placed her back.

[Crying] I don't want to!

This is the spot for three minutes, right there.

[Screams indistinctly]you've got to work on no communication.

No! I don't want to be there!

When I was dealing with jayden in her time-out,

I really was desperate to tell her,

"All you gotta do is sit for three minutes."

[Jo] having to follow through

In placing his child in time-outs

Became, emotionally, very challenging for dad.[Crying]

I told him to take ten, and to go and count.

One calm, two calm.[Jayden] I don't want to be there!

[Jo] the counting to ten

Really did help dad curb his temper,

But jayden wouldn't let up.

She was relentless.

[Crying] I don't want to be there!

And as she started to throw out the sticks

That were gonna hurt his heart...

[Cries]

He broke down in tears.

"Daddy, don't do this.

"Don't give me discipline.

"Don't teach me

How to listen and take direction."

That's what she's saying.

She'll cry, though.sometimes, you have to make decisions

As parents to do the right thing.

Absolutely.i mean, emotionally, of course, it calls you.

[Clears throat]

[Jo] dad calmed down and he went back to complete the time-out.

[Whining]

No!

[Crying] no, I don't--daddy!

Finally, jayden stayed put for the rest of her time.

I just want to explain to you

Why I put you in time-out.

This is the time-out...[Sobs]

This is the time-out chair,

Not over here, not in that chair.

[Adam] she understood.

She can cry all she wants,

And she's not gonna get at my emotions,

Because this is about both of us learning

That behaviors need to be fixed.

We do it lovingly,

And it was a good thing for both of us.

Two pieces left. That's it, okay?

[Whimpers]

Shh. You're okay.

I've given this family some techniques to use,

And now I'm gonna have to give them time

To practice this on their own.

It is time for me to leave.[Coughs]

I'm gonna be gone for several days.

Teaching has gone very well,

And they do know what's necessary

In order to change the issues

That have presented themselves.

Emotionally reacting rather than responding--

Change that now and support each other.

Lots of love, lots of praise.

We won't let you down.all right, so I'm gonna leave you for several days.

Without jo there, I'm scared I'm not gonna have

That willpower I need to make it through.

Thank you.all right, dad, be safe.

Will mom step up and hold that authority?

Will dad keep his temper?

It is yet to be seen while I'm away.

Coming up on "supernanny"...

Come sit in this chair now.no.

With jo gone, can dad keep control?

Or will the kids push him to the brink?

[Whining indistinctly]i'm listening.

Listen.oh! [Whimpers]

When "supernanny" returns.

I've been away for three days

From the goldberg family,

So I'm curious to see exactly how they got on.

Hi.good morning.

Hello.i am apprehensive about the dvd meeting.

I know we did a lot of things correctly,

But I also know that we fell down a few times.

Now are we ready to take a look at this dvd?

Mm-hmm.so temper control,

Obviously, it's all about yourself.

How have you been feeling about that?

I think I've done pretty well with that.

Right. Okay, so let's take a look.

Come sit in this chair now.dad.

No.

Come sit in this chair now. No!

Look at me.daddy, get away.

I know you--no.yes.

Go.

No. [Whines indistinctly]

Here's another warning.

You continue to call me a bad name again,

You're gonna go back to a time-out.

Do you understand? [Shelby] adam.

No. I'm not gonna be called names. You--you're yelling.

You're getting a time-out upstairs.no.

The door stays open. [Scoffs] door stays shut.

Ow! [Sobbing]

You shut up.

This is ridiculous.

He's never behaved like this before ever.

Yes, he has. No, he has not.

Jacob, I'm taking a few minutes to myself right now, okay?

[Voice cracks] so just go play with mommy for a bit. [Timer beeps]

Oh, we've got more work.

For you, it's about control. For josh, it's about control.

You're like two raging bulls,

And nobody wants to step down.

And when he pushes those buttons,

You revert back to how you were before.

You count to ten, and you're still feeling like--

You're crying because you're mad,

Count to ten again.yeah.

So we do need to work on that, most definitely.

You do need that underneath your belt.

We're gonna look at yourself, shelby,

Doing a time-out.

♪♪♪

I want to be done.

Uhh. I want to be done!

Ow. [Microwave buttons beeping]

How many minutes do I have?

How many minutes

Do I have?!

Idiot!

You owe me a big apology.

Sorry.

Now give me a hug. I want my shirt.

You did very well with the time-out

Because he banged on that stool,

He slapped you as you went past.yeah.

You didn't talk to him. You placed him back on that.

And as much as he was shouting out "idiot"

And everything else,

You didn't rise to it.

So it says here "minutes later." Let's see what happened.

Sit with me for a sec. I want to talk.no!

Jake, jake, jake, jake. Come here.no. No.

Mommy just had a conversation with you...

Yeah. And you apologized...

What I thought was, how could he just do that?

Other than playing outside right this very minute...

What is bothering you? Why are you so upset?

Mommy and daddy are learning

That you guys have the right to be upset...

You don't like for people to call you names, right?

...when you say that you love us,

Bad names like that when you're mad.

Adam's very verbal on everything.

He wants to explain everything

And have everyone explain everything back.

It's too long-winded, seriously.

I mean, it's like you're flogging a dead horse.

It--it's too much. It's too much.

They're years old, not . Do you know what I mean?

I do.it's far too much.

Okay.and also, when you actually push your way in there,

It undermines mom

And her authority to put the kids in the time-out,

Because it's now you overseeing it.

It feels like he's having another time-out now with you.

Let's take a look

At what the situation is like out in public.[Clears throat]

Let's take a look at the mall.

[Shelby] sit up. Joshua, sit up. This is your warning.

I asked you to sit up. You did not sit up.

Come with me. No!

No! No.

No!

No. I'm gonna take him outside.

Let go of me!

This is nonsense. We are going home,

And you are gonna owe me a time-out when we get home.

You need to sit in time-out and listen to me.

[Timer beeps]

Now what do you need to say to me?sor-ry.

I need a nice apology, please.

Sorry.thank you.

You did extremely well. I-i love your tone, actually.thank you.

The fact that you didn't even feel a possibility

Of pulling up policeman jones from retirement,

Very, very good.

Now let's go a little bit deeper.

You're out in public, and he wasn't eating his dinner,

And he was hunching away, and he wasn't sitting up.

Choose your battles.i know.

Okay, choose your battles. You want him to eat his dinner.

That would have been the main priority, okay?

And there were a few things going on at that table.

The second one is still, you're feeling fearful

Of being in open public places

And worried about everybody else.

There are people out there...

Yeah, I know.that are gonna say what they're gonna say,

Whether it's good or bad.

The main point is, is that you're dealing with your child,

Not what anybody else is saying.

We've still got lots of work to do here,

All right?okay.

Okay, so let's get busy.i'm all for it.

Thank you.[Both] thank you.

Coming up on "supernanny,"

Back at the mall,

Jo goes undercover, and jayden goes berserk...

She's already showing you signs that she's gonna kick off.

When "supernanny" returns.

I saw some good stuff in dvd.

However, watching mom try and manage these kids

In the shopping mall

Rang alarm bells for me.

So I wanted to give her another try,

With the kids, without dad,

Going back to the scene of the crime.

But this time, she'd have a little extra help,

Because I would be in her ear.

We're gonna rig you up, okay?

Jo realized that I didn't have

A lot under my belt when we went out in public,

And I still was very self-conscious

About what people thought.this is your bag for the shopping mall.

I gave her a reusable bag with some tips on it

That I planned on using with her at the mall.

You're gonna have the courage to tell the kids

Today, they can't have anything, all right?okay.

When I go to the mall,

Usually, the kids end up running away from me,

Not paying attention and not listening to what I have to say.

[Jo] following the tips,

Mom planned a really good time to go

Because it didn't conflict with nap times or mealtimes.

[Shelby] can you carry your baby?

Okay, mom, if you can hear me,

Set up the expectations at the door.

Jacob, hold on for a second. Come here, jayden.

I need to tell you something.

We are going to have a nice time in the mall.

I need to get something,

And I expect you-- you, you...

And you to be on your best behavior.

No running away.[Shouts]

Oh, boy.

She's crying already. Find out what's wrong with her

Before you even step foot in the mall.

Can you tell me what's wrong, honey?[Whimpers]

Use your words and tell me what's wrong so I can help you.

Before I even got in the mall,

Jayden really started with a tantrum, and that was tough.

Give her a choice-- one or the other.

She's already showing you signs that she's gonna kick off.

Do you want me to carry you, or do you want to walk?

Okay.[Jo] sometimes, you've got to pick your battles.

Jayden's behavior didn't warrant a time-out.

It was just important for mom to keep moving,

So she could focus on what she needed

To go and get and come out.

Give them things to look for.

Come here. Look at the pink plates.

Look at the plates, and then we're gonna go.

Who can find the purple plates

That match that purple tablecloth?

Right here.

As soon as she got the kids involved,

It was like they had something to do in the shop.

And they found the napkins

And the paper-ware that they needed,

And their mom went to the counter and paid for it.

Okay.

We don't need a snack, honey. We're gonna go home soon,

So we'll have a snack when we get back home.

Nice.

I want...we're not getting a bear today.

Yes! [Cries]nope.

Jayden.

Stand up.no.

You're not getting a bear today.[Whines] yes!

Not bad.

I tell you, a lot better than what it was before.

And at least this mom has been able to come to the mall,

Take her kids, come in,

Get what's necessary and leave.

All right, I think we're good, guys.

I do feel much more confident

In taking the kids in public to places

That I know, normally, I would be very self-conscious of.

So now I know I can do it on my own.

And mom got out of there without needing the last tip.

Thank you, joshua. That's a nice gentleman.

Back at the house, it was time for me

To say good-bye to the goldberg family.

Smackeroonie hug!i'm glad jo jo came.

A big smackeroonie hug.

I love you, jo jo.

A big... Smackeroonie h-hug!

[Speaks indistinctly]

Bye, jo jo.

I think that shelby and adam have recognized

The importance of changing the things within themselves

That were causing issues

In their own relationships

With their children.

I think I'm a better parent now. I think I'm calmer.

Thank you so much.thank you.

I think my self-confidence is better.

I have a backbone now,

Which I probably didn't have as much of before.

Jo made such an immense improvement

In our family dynamics.

She's taught us what we needed to learn,

And now it's up to us

To go ahead and use the tools that she gave us

To better our family for the future.

♪♪♪