05x21 - The DeMello Family

[bunniefuu]

Tonight on "supernanny,"

Jo pays a visit to massachusetts

And discovers a mom and dad that have checked out.

[Screams]

Hey! [Crying]

[Crying]

The kids are cooped up in the house all day...

And they like going out? They love going out.

But they're stuck inside? [Screaming]

And are literally screaming to get out.

[Screaming]

Dad doesn't have a clue about discipline.

You're creating the failure,

And guess who's sitting on the time-out?

Get with the program. And mom can't keep her eye on the ball.

Where did gianna go?

I've got a mom who's not watching

Where her younger child is, and it's as simple as that.

Can jo get these parents to wake up...

You have three children

Who need you to feel like you give a damn

Being with them. Toughen up...

What is stopping you from doing this?

And learn to work together?

You're living like a divorced couple,

But underneath the same roof.

[Screaming] no! Shut up!

Or is this family beyond help?

♪♪

This week, I'm in taunton, massachusetts,

Ready to help a family

Who I believe desperately need my help,

So we'd better look, right?

Hi, we're the demellos. I'm don.

I'm dyane, and we have three kids.

Damon is , dante is ,

And gianna is .

A skeleton.

[Grunting] [grunting]

I told you no. See?

Our house is a very stressful, chaotic atmosphere.

[Screaming] no! Shut up!

There's a lot of screaming... [Screaming]

[Screaming] [screaming]

Yelling... No! You did it wrong!

Fighting... [Screaming]

Throwing things.

Neither one of us have control.

[Yells]

[Speaks indistinctly] damon.

Damon is a strong-willed child.

Don't say that, mom!

He likes to get very angry and physical sometimes

When he doesn't get what he wants. [Crying]

[Don] dante is the middle child. [Screams]

Hey! [Crying]

Dante became the screamer of the house.

Don't mix the color!

Gianna's a sweet little girl...

[Cries]

Who's actually becoming angry.

She is picking up, from her older brothers,

These bad habits, that's for sure. Shut up, mommy.

Well, what a surprise that the little one's copying.

Ooh. Ooh. Let's go. [Giggling]

My day is random.

I don't have a schedule, so it's constant just chaos

And running around and getting in the car.

There's no routine. Stop!

I do not want to live life like this any longer.

Eat your lunch.

It's too stressful. There's no joy here.

Everything is so sad.

[Yelling]

[Yelling indistinctly]

[Crying]

I just want the household to be more happy...

[Crying] more loving.

Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!

Supernanny, we're at the breaking point.

Please come and help us now. We need you.

Guys, you're being pushovers.

You better buckle up,

Because things are about to change.

I'm on me way.

♪♪

Hello.

Hello! Nice to meet you. Pleased to meet you.

Jo frost. Hi, jo. Come on in.

Hi. Thank you.

I was a little nervous and anxious

And wasn't sure what she was gonna tell us

Or how we were gonna handle what she had to say to us.

Hi. Hi. What's your name?

Dante. Hi, dante. Pleased to meet you.

And--and who's this? What's your name?

Damon. That's damon.

Say hello. No.

[Jo] hi. Is don around? He's at work.

He's at work, so I'll get to see him later? Yes.

No, mama.

It wasn't long before I saw mom put discipline into practice.

I didn't like what I saw,

And I didn't like how damon was talking to his mother.

[Dyane] damon, don't turn it on.

[Crying] you're stupid, mama. We can play it later.

When we have time to play it, we'll play it later.

I hate you! Well, then now you're not gonna play at all.

Yeah, I am. We'll play later, and you won't play.

[Screaming] no!

Get off of me, damon. [Screaming] mama!

[Screaming] mama!

[Door slams]

Not only was mom's so-called discipline ineffective,

But I really couldn't believe how she was tolerating

The way her son was speaking to her,

Calling her "stupid mama."

I mean, when did that become acceptable?

[Gianna crying]

Um, he's whipping her.

[Dyane sighs]

My, god. We got indiana jones here.

I didn't whip her. Yes, you did.

I think one of the reasons

Why the children are bouncing off the walls

Is because they're just kept inside all the time.

Is this all your backyard? Yes.

Wow. It's big.

Yeah. I mean, we don't play outside a lot.

It's just that we're stuck in the house a lot.

You're stuck in the house?

So it seems like a lot of aggression goes on,

Because we don't-- they don't get out enough. No? They don't like it?

They love to be out. I'm a bit lost. Hold on. They like going out?

They love going out. But they're stuck inside?

They are. I don't get that. That's a little--

Well, it's just so tough

With three of them running in all directions.

And if my husband wasn't out there,

I couldn't finagle three running in all directions.

Ohh. So a lot of times, you know,

We--we're always staying in the house.right.

I mean, it's every child's delight

To have such space to be able to skip and play ball

And run around, and yet, mom's not even using that.

What time did the kids get up this morning?

They got up at about... :. [Crying]

I want this, mom. [Crying indistinctly]

So for almost six hours, they've been in.

Yeah. Yeah.

It does blow me away, really.

I mean, they've all got cabin fever.

They stick in the house /. None of them go out.

So I decided to take the kids outside

Just to see how chaotic it can be.

Mommy. What, honey?

Why don't you go play?[Crying]

You want to play on the swings?

Go play, honey.

When they got outside, they didn't know what to do,

And mom stood around, and they stood around.

They don't actually come out, do they,

Into a park or an open field or a... No.

Sometimes, you know, in the summer, we do pools

And more activities, but other than that,

I don't take them anywhere.

No. I mean, I can-- I can see.yeah.

It's just 'cause they're kind of just standing around

Not knowing to-- what to do, really.yeah.

Any other kid would have grabbed a football, or...

Right.you know, would be grabbing their bike

And trying to ride it on the grass

Or climbing up on the slide.

God, it's all doom and gloom, isn't it?

And now I've seen it all.

These kids don't even know how to have fun in their backyard.

Mom's just not enthusiastic to be around the kids

And to do anything with the kids.

It's like she's sleepwalking.

What she needs is a good wake-up call.

Coming up on "supernanny"...

Dad's attempt to discipline is disastrous.

Why do you say that all the time, dante?

You want to tell daddy why you say that?

And mom hears harsh words from jo.

Seriously, dyane,

The lights are on, and no one's at home.

When "supernanny" returns.

♪♪

[Jo] eventually, dad came home.

Where's all the kids? Hi, baby girl.

Jo frost. Pleased to meet you. Nice to meet you, too.

[Jo] I introduced myself. He went upstairs to change.

He didn't really acknowledge mom.

I thought that was a bit weird.

And then when he came downstairs,

I thought, I better ask these two about their relationship.

So are you guys on the same page?

Same page as far as what?

That we don't do-- your parenting.

You communicate often about that?

Most of the--yeah. Most of the time.

He said they do communicate, but she said they don't.

You don't communicate? We don't communicate about it,

But we're on the same page

As far as we do the same things...

[Laughs] "a lot of talk and no action." [Laughing]

Well, we just repeat ourselves, and the kids don't listen.

And we have the same techniques--

"Don't do this." "Stop."

Yeah. We only do as much as we know, really.

We're rookies, you know? What do we know?

What do we know about parenting,

You know what I mean?

Okay, you've got three kids. How can you be a rookie?

Hardly a rookie.

Hey! [Gianna screaming]

[Jo] soon, I got to see dad's idea of discipline. Stop that.

What are you hitting her for?

This is where boys go that don't behave.

Why did daddy put you in the chair?

What does "shut up" mean, dante?

[Jo] dad had dante on the chair,

And then he was having a conversation with him.

Don't put your foot on the table.

"Don't put your feet on the table. Put them down."

Why do you say that all the time, dante?

You want to tell daddy why you say that?

He kept trying to reason and go over and over...

Get back in that chair.

Hoping that dante would say, "oh, yeah, dad, I know.

"I get it. Yeah, I really messed up.

Never mind. I won't do it again."

[Timer beeping]

Oh. So was that fast time-out, yeah?

Yeah. Has he finished it now, or...

Yeah, he's finished. Oh, yeah? He's finished it now.

Yeah, but then he just said "stupid daddy" again.

[Laughing] he just doesn't get it.

I should--i should put him back in the chair.

So was your time-out effective?

I don't know. I don't know. I don't think so. Possibly. What do you feel?

No. No.

I realize that dad is asleep at the wheel, as well.

He knows what he does doesn't work,

But he does it anyway.

What do you want to drink, dante? Water?

I've seen mom and dad deal with discipline separately.

So now I'm gonna be interested to see

How they handle dinnertime together.

You like this.

What do you want?

More cheese?

But even before we got there, the kids kicked into high gear.

I told you. This is what I made.

I don't want it.

I'm not making a second meal. Give me that.

He wants fish-and-chips. Come on, damon, eat what I made. No.

[Crying] and then I couldn't believe what I heard.

Mom got up to make the second meal

When she said she wasn't going to make it.

Why would you make more work for yourself?

I-i just want to please 'em.

But do you--do you look like you're pleasing 'em? [Crying]

I mean, seriously, look. [Whines] no!

No! Look at this little one's face.

D-do you look like--do you look like you're pleasing her?

[Sobbing] no.

And just to drive the point home,

Damon decided to tell mom what to do with the first meal

After she'd made the second one.

[Don] it doesn't make sense.

W-what did you say? You wanted the macaroni, too?

[Laughing] yes. This is cold.

No, it's not funny. Really, I mean, it's just...

I said I like it warm.

What's this? Can i--he asked for some macaroni with it.

And now it's cold, so go warm it up.

Damon, watch... [Jo] mom's looking at me

Like, huh, can you believe this kid?

And I'm looking at her

Like, huh, can I believe you're doing this?

[Damon laughs] [don] come on. Up, up, up, up.

[Dyane] damon, come eat.

All right, I'm calling it a day.

Are you? I have seen more than enough.

Yeah. We do need to have a family meeting

And sit down and discuss what's necessary

In order to see change here.

Yeah. All right. So nice and early tomorrow. Okay? Family meeting.

All right. Looking forward to it. Beautiful. Thank you.

Thank you very much for today.

What this family are doing they know is absurd.

They know it's wrong,

But it's just really lazy parenting.

Tomorrow morning, nice and early,

Adult conversation. Okay.

I don't know what the future holds

Or how much longer till one of us breaks...

Good night. Or till the whole family breaks

Or the marriage breaks. Good night.

[Don] yep. [Jo] I think tomorrow's gonna be a real wake-up call

For mom and dad in the family meeting,

But they need it.

♪♪

Hi. Hi.

Hello.

So let's get straight down to business.

Deep down, none of you are happy.

The kids are sad, the kids are angry,

And actually, the pair of you

Are not doing your job together.

You chose to have these kids,

To raise them.

Yep, we did. I thought it was gonna be easy.

[Sniffs] yeah. I thought they were gonna be well-behaved.

You get married, and you have kids,

And everything's grand. Who told you that?

Nobody. Just the way I grew up. Fairy tale.

Yeah. And I had no idea it was gonna be so much work.

Do you know what?

I just--i really-- I find that hard to believe.

I just don't see no enthusiasm.

There's nothing interesting

About you being around your kids.

You have three children

Who need their parents' interaction,

Who need to connect with you

Emotionally, mentally,

Who need you to feel like you give a damn being with them.

You aren't interested.

Seriously, dyane, watching you with the kids,

Your face is--

Y-you're--you're...

The lights are on, and no one's at home.

Hmm.

There is not an ounce

Of enthusiasm for you being around the kids,

Not an ounce.

Everything's an effort.

Well, it is.

Think.they won't stay happy for more than five minutes.

I can't please them, no matter what I do.

I don't think happy-happy.

I can't please them, no matter what I do.

I get on the floor. I play. I color. There was no enthusiasm.

It was like, "oh, I've got to do this

Because I'm supposed to do this."

Not that you wanted to do it. You didn't want to do it.

You didn't want to do anything with your kids...

No, that's not true. And they see that. It is.

I don't agree with that. There is no effort there.

I love my kids, and I get on the floor, I color with them.

I play with them. I'm more of the activity person.

You know what? Seriously...

I'm very creative, as far as coloring and arts and crafts. Where was it yesterday?

And-- where was it when I was observing you? Where was it?

Yesterday was one day. No, where was it?

I-i don't--

I-i don't know.

At the end of the day, it's not happening,

And it's heartbreaking for them.

Mm. And also, you're missing out.

You know what I'm talking about,

'Cause you're sitting here, getting emotional.

You're getting emotional

Because you know.

You know what your boys are missing.

You know what your boys ain't getting. Yeah.

[Whispers] that's right. Yeah.

[Sniffles]

Your kids need it.

[Sniffles] yeah.

We do love them very much.

Well, I talk a good talk,

But I can walk a good walk.

And right up until now,

You guys have been talking a good talk,

But I need you guys to be walking it.

So are we in, or are we out?

Because we don't have time to waste here.

That's right. We're in.

Well, I'm in, and I'm ready. Yeah.

All right, then let's get to work. All right. Beautiful.

Thank you. Thank you.

Coming up on "supernanny"...

If I don't hear it, you're going in time-out.

Jo lays down the law to dante,

And his parents can't believe their eyes.

Mom and dad looked at me like, "really?

Is she--is she really going to do this?"

When "supernanny" returns.

♪♪

Hello. Hello.

The first thing I do want to do is to go in

And help dyane and don create a routine

That's going to help put a lot of stability

In the children's daily lives.

So talk, write down your cornerstones,

And then we're gonna add a few more things in.

So why are you writing "talk" down?

I know it. So write down...

That's what I'm thinking. That's why I got confused.

Well, I thought she told me to write it.

You're talking. We're talking.

Oh. :, Put down--

That's just it. You areso not used to talking,

You're like, "write"...

No, we don't want to write "talk," dyane. No, I know. I know.

I thought she said, "write 'talk'."

We don't want to write "talk." We want to talk.

Okay, so damon up at :. [Jo] once they can make a routine

And not be overwhelmed by it,

I think it's going to be

More manageable for mom to be able to do her chores

And actually spend time with the kids.

All right. Why didn't we do this a long time ago?

It was just, "wow. It's--it's that simple?"

[Jo] this routine will have something new

For the demello family--

Playtime, activities.

You'd think that they would have

A list of things they would want to do.

But, hey, who better to make the list than the kids?

Swing set. Swing set, great. Let's write that down.

I think it was the first time since I've arrived

That I saw these kids actually smile.

Mm.

[Don] the whole family was involved

In, you know, making the activities.

Does dante like to ride the bike, too?

Yeah!

[Dyane] I could see the sparkle in their eyes.

"I--oh, I want to do this" and "I want to ride bikes."

And they were shouting 'em out, and it was just great.

[Jo] hands up--who spends too much time in the house?

[Jo] the family did a great job in writing down ideas,

But later on, I am gonna have to put them to the test

When it comes to them going out together as a family.

♪♪

Now I do need to implement discipline,

And I have been given

A perfect opportunity to teach that,

Because I've just seen dante lash out at his brother.

Hey, hey, hey, hey. Behave.

Dante, that wasn't a nice thing to say to your brother.

It was also a chance to teach these children

That it's not okay to shout out "stupid" at others.

Don't just call him stupid. [Gianna crying]

He had a very good idea. That's not a nice thing.

Okay? Please say sorry to your brother. [Gianna wails]

[Don] no, you live with mommy and daddy.

You don't call people stupid. That's not nice.

Dante, if you don't apologize to your brother,

I am going to put you in a time-out.

Please tell your brother you're sorry.

Sorry! No, look at your brother and tell him you're sorry.

[Wailing] I can't! I don't like saying that! Yes, you can.

Dante stuck his heels in.

"I am not apologizing! I'm not saying sorry!"

But you think about it.

If I don't hear it, you're going in time-out.

And then mom jumped in and undermined me

By pacifying dante,

Which clearly shows me

Why discipline has never worked for this family.

Now hold on. Look what you're doing.

Tell me what you're doing. Look what you're doing. [Sniffling]

Just consoling him.correct.

I'm trying to teach your child

The importance of having respect.

[Gianna speaking indistinctly]

And to console him is basically saying...

It's okay. It's okay.

That--stroking that is then making me the bad cop?

It--it's not about that. [Damon] I think he...

[Jo] I needed to show mom that discipline does work,

As long as you follow through,

And you don't cave in in pacifying your children.

Stop! [Cries]

It's all right. It's all right, dante. No!

You didn't--you didn't say you're sorry. [Wails] no! No!

You didn't tell her... [Wailing]

[Wails indistinctly] you didn't say you're sorry.

Mom and dad looked at me like, "really?

Is she--is she really going to do this to my child?"

[Wails] I said that...

Dante, you were meant to apologize, and you didn't. I said it!

Mom was holding her daughter like I was the big, bad wolf!

I mean, if you want your kids

To learn and change their behavior,

It means, as a parent, you got to get tough every now and then.

And because you didn't, you're now gonna stay here... Sor-ry!

For four minutes. I said sorry!

[Crying]

And when they saw that dante just sat on that chair

And understood what he should be doing and thinking about it,

They realized there was a point and purpose

Of why it was necessary to do.

Dante, I put you in the time-out here, on the naughty chair,

Because you did not

Listen to me, okay?

I want you to apologize, please, and tell me you're sorry.

[Sobbing] I said that!

Dante, I'd like you to tell me you're sorry, please. Sorry.

Okay, apology accepted.

Let's give you a hug and kiss, okay? [Makes kissing sound]

[Dyane] I feel better about the time-outs.

Before, I would just put 'em on the chair

And just let them run away after a few minutes,

And I thought time-out didn't work.

But I realize now

There's a right way to do time-out so it does work.

Damon, dante, look. I've got something for you both.

Come over here. Look.

When these kids get angry, they call out, "stupid."

These children don't get the opportunity

To express how they feel internally.

So what I'm going to do

Is introduce a technique that will help them.

What we have here are lollipops,

A different kind of lollipops.

This is going to encourage the communication

By allowing the children

To freely choose the lollipop

That represents how they're feeling.

When jo brought in those, uh, lollipop sticks

With little faces on 'em,

That's a little challenging.

Naturally, at first, I'm thinking

My kids are too little for that.

This one is when we're feeling silly.

[Laughs] and we're feeling silly

Because we want to do silly things.

I thought that was adorable, the way she laid them all out,

And the kids were excited to see what each one was gonna be,

And they couldn't wait to pick out how they felt.

Damon, which one are you feeling right now?

This.okay, you pick it then.

You hold it.

You're feeling silly. Okay, what are you feeling?

You're feeling happy! Okay.

Dante, how are you feeling? You're feeling loved.

[Jo] using the lollipop technique

Will give the children the opportunity

To explain how they're feeling if they want to.

And if they don't want to talk about it,

At least we've made the first step

In them holding up the faces.

And later on in the afternoon,

I let the parents put that technique into practice.

Dante, pick what you want. Okay.

[Chuckles] what's that one?

[All laugh]

My kids are definitely, um, a lot smarter than I thought.

The age factor is a factor, but not like I was thinking.

What do you got, damon? I'm thinking!

You're feeling angry? How come?

Huh?

You're angry about time-out?

[Dyane] I can see damon opening up more

Now that he's got those lollipops,

'Cause he can't wait to show me the way he feels.

So it's nice that I can understand him now.

Coming up on "supernanny,"

When dad won't learn the time-out technique,

Jo lets him have it.

You're creating the failure, and I'm not pleased with that.

And can dyane learn

To watch her kids in public?

I've got a mom who's not watching

Where her younger child is. Help me find her, dante.

When "supernanny" returns.

♪♪

We are actually going out on an adventure. [Dante] wow.

So with dad at work,

I wanted mom to address her worst fear,

And that was taking all her kids out in public.

[Crying] would they behave

The same way they do inside?

Basically, we're gonna parent on the fly.

We're gonna deal with it as it happens.

I thought, oh, no. What kind of adventure is this gonna be?

Because I wasn't sure

If I was gonna handle all three kids.

So we're on our way to the supermarket now...

[Dramatic music plays] because what you're going to do

Is pick up the kids lunch.

That's one of the biggest nightmares I have--

Taking three kids to the grocery store.

All right. Uh, you got your kids behind you.

Never have your kids behind you. Come on. Oh.

Dante, no. Come on. We gotta go get our lunch. Dante.

Voice--"dante, come here, please." Dante, come here, please.

Okay, this is what you need-- eyes in the back of your head.i know.

I had to remind her a couple of times

To keep the kids in front of her...

Gianna picked those out. Gianna.

'Cause when they start to lag behind... You got that?

Bring 'em over here and put 'em in the basket.

She doesn't know what they're doing.

You can have that for the picnic.

I love onion rings. You like onion rings?

Dante. They have yummy things.

Hut, hut, hut, hut, hut, hut...

Uh-oh. [Speaks indistinctly]

I looked down for gianna, and she was gone.

Where'd gianna go?

I've got a mom who's not watching

Where her younger child is,

And it's as simple as that.

Help me find her, dante. [Dante] no!

Mommy! Mommy! Eyes at the back of your head.

I'm not messing with you here. I get--right.

When I came back with gianna,

Mom's face was panic-stricken.

You were focused on that deli,

And your head was turned.

I'm telling you now,

You've got to be diligent.

Gianna, no running. Stay with momma.

I was thankful that it wasn't a stranger,

And I knew there was a lesson to be learned.

[Jo] if mom learns to keep an eye on her kids,

She'll actually realize that she can have fun with 'em

And actually enjoy being out.

[Makes zooming noise] dante, we're gonna go have our lunch,

And then we're gonna come up and play.

[Dyane] they were well-behaved. There was no fighting.

That's a big pickle. [Damon] yeah.

[Jo] so far, she's doing a-a fabulous job.

I hope that this has really encouraged mom

To get out of the house more

So that she grows that confidence daily,

And the kids start to enjoy themselves more,

And so does mom. [Speaks indistinctly]

You want to go upstairs and see what they have upstairs? [Damon] yeah!

♪♪

It's a pickle!

[Dyane] it was a nice day out.

I feel I can take them out a lot more,

Somewhere that's interesting for them,

Let them explore and have a good time.

No, gianna. Don't throw food.

No. [Jo] later on, dad was back from work,

And gianna was kicking off.

And as these parents both know how to do discipline,

I thought it'd be a good idea if dad did it.

One warning.

Okay, she goes to the chair, and you explain why. Mm-hmm.

All right. Set the alarm for how many minutes?

Two minutes. Correct.

She gets off, you place her back with no communication.

She does her two minutes. You go back, you explain... [Dante yells]

And then you tell her you want her to apologize, okay?

"You need to tell daddy you're sorry."

Hugs and kisses, get off the chair and move on.

Dad had the steps down on paper,

But it remained to be seen if he could execute it.

You're gonna eat your food, or you're gonna go in time-out.

[Whines] you've got a choice--

[Buzzer sounds] you either eat, or you go to time-out.

You either eat your lunch, or you go in time-out.

First step, and dad had fallen off the rails.

I just needed to pull him aside to ask why.

What is stopping you from doing this?

I'm thinking she's too little.

All right. Okay, all right.

So you think right now, at /,

She's too young to be disciplined.

That she's unable to understand

What the time-out chair means. You think she's too young?

The answer is she's not. Well, ithink--okay.

She is of the correct age where she would be disciplined now. All right.

[Whines] all right, we're gonna go in the time-out.

Finally, dad got going with gianna,

And I just hoped that he would remember all the steps.

You're not listening to daddy, and you're not eating. [Bell dings]

[Crying] and no blankie in time-out.

No! Give me it! Back in that chair.

[Buzzer sounds] don't talk. No communication. Remember the paper.

Why is it that even when it's written down,

He doesn't do it correctly?

Come on. Don't talk, don.

Because it's not rocket science. You look at it.

You see the steps, and you just do. [Whines]

What are you doing?

What was that? What are you doing, huh? I-i was breaking a rule.

Do what you're supposed to do. [Cries]

[Jo] it was obvious that he thought

Gianna didn't understand what he was doing.

And who's paying the price? Gianna.

Stop for a minute here...mm-hmm.

Because you're creating the failure,

And guess who's sitting on the time-out?

Not you. No, that's not right.

No, it's not, and I'm not pleased with that.

Get with the program... That's right.

So that your child

Doesn't have to be going through this /.

In the end, both don and gianna

Managed to do this for two straight minutes.

[Whimpers] daddy put you in time-out,

Because you didn't do what daddy told you to do.

[Bell dings] you didn't eat your lunch. Now say you're sorry to daddy.

[Dante yells] I'm sorry.

[Bell dings] sorry, daddy? Oh, okay.

I love you. [Bell dings three times]

Dad did the final steps of the time-out properly.

I just hope that he can do it just as well

From top to bottom whilst I'm gone.

I want to let you guys know

That I'm leaving. This is it.

Yes, I'm leaving for several days. Wow.

Are they going to have difficulties?

Oh, yes, without a doubt.

These kids are gonna test them.

[Jo] homework. Because mom and dad need help with their communication,

Whilst I'm away, I'm going to leave them

With a communication exercise to do.

When mom and dad need to talk about certain issues,

They're going to write that down into the circle.

And they're each going to take turns

Until they come to the middle,

And there, they will both come to a resolution.

I hope for their sakes, their kids' sakes,

That they really continue to do this

When I'm not there.

All right? Now follow through. Give me a hug. Thank you.

[Dyane] without jo here for the next couple of days,

I'm a little nervous that we're not gonna be able

To pull it off as good.

We'll just be ba--right back to where we were before.

Thanks, jo.

[Dyane] aw. You're welcome. Bye-bye.

This family have certainly shown a lack of faith in themselves

Whilst I've been there.

I just hope it doesn't fall apart

At the seams whilst I'm gone.

Coming up on "supernanny"...

[Screaming]

How will jo react when dad still can't do a time-out?

You're sabotaging the technique.

And has dad decided to check out?

You're living like a divorced couple,

But underneath the same roof.

When "supernanny" returns.

What is the best way to manage your child's television viewing?

"A"--allow them to watch until they get bored,

"B"--let them watch

Once homework has been completed,

"C"--set a weekly limit on tv time?

Find out when we return.

What is the best way to manage your child's television viewing?

"A"--allow them to watch until they get bored,

"B"--let them watch

Once homework has been completed,

"C"--set a weekly limit on tv time?

And the answer is "c."

Most kids watch too much television.

So take control as a parent--

How long can they watch for?

And, what programs are suitable for their age?

And remember, recording programs can be just as fun.

[Birds chirping]

The demello family have had a lot of work to do

Whilst I've been away.

Hello. Hello.

Hi, jo. So I just hope that they've

Put their heads together and made it happen.

Realistically, how well do you think you've done?

I think I've done pretty good.yeah?

Pretty good, yeah. More good than bad.

All right. Well, let's take a look then. Okay.

So the first thing we are gonna take a look at

Is toy time-out.

What's this, a chair?

Yes...

[Chuckles]

What'd the baby do?

What did he do? Was he naughty?

Come on out. You were a good boy now.

Come out. Come play. Okay.

[Chuckles]

Very sweet. Okay, so to answer your questions--

Does your child understand? Mm-hmm.

Oh, yes, at years. She's learning.

I'm surprised what we saw, yeah. She's learning,

And then what she'll do is do that

In her own world with her own toys,

And she'll mimic the life that she lives.

And that's exactly what she's doing.

So let's move on to yourself, don,

Doing time-outs. [Shouts] no!

All right, then you're gonna go back in time-out now. No! No!

No! No!

[Screaming] no! No!

Let go of thechair. I don't want to!

I'm not gonna go. Yes, you are.

[Wails] no! I said you are.

[Crying] now I'm not gonna argue with you.

Why are you talking to him if he's in time-out?

I was trying to teach him something.

You're sabotaging the technique.

He says something, you've got to get the last word in.

He says something, you've got to get the last word in.

And all you're doing is winding him up.

I'm just saying, you know, i...

He's u--he's used to going tit-for-tat,

So I think he's having a little hard time

Trying to control

His, you know, arguing back and forth... [Clears throat]

'Cause that's what he's used to doing.

So he's falling into old behavior.

You're--correct, it's old behavior,

But you're behaving like-- like you're in a playground.

You're not being the adult here.

You're not even acting mature, don.

You need to think hard.

Circles.

"You didn't support."

If you say I didn't support your cause,

Then I'm telling you, then we need to go over

The values and rules so I can support your cause.

We'll just keep going around in circles, honey...

[Dante] daddy. Daddy! Until we meet in the middle.

I guess that's the idea of this, isn't it?

Look. Who's there?

[Dante] porch. Is this re--we didn't

Come to the middle.

That's not resolve. I know.

So it's your turn to write, anyway.

I'm not walking away from them.

I'm trying to do two things at once.

No, no. We're supposed to come to an agreement

As we get to the middle. [Sighs] it's your turn to write.

Yet again,

Every technique, you're sabotaging.

I don't care what show is on tele.

It's not as important as what's going on

Between the pair of you. Right.

How did you feel at the table by yourself?

I felt like this is why I don't communicate,

'Cause I don't get anywhere,

And I just felt like I was all alone.

So basically then, you're living like a divorced couple,

But underneath the same roof, to be honest.

There's still a lot of work to be done,

And my question is is whether

You can actually look at yourself

And see your flaws

And change those. I hope so.

Mm-hmm.okay.

All right, thanks, jo. Thank you.

Coming up on "supernanny,"

Can jo get dad to stop talking during time-outs...

This is what I'm gonna ask you to wear

To keep your mouth...

And start talking more to mom?

When "supernanny" returns.

I could see from watching the dvd

That dad was still struggling with discipline big-time.

However, damon gave me an opportunity to show dad

How to do discipline again the correct way.

Ow! No! No! [Speaks indistinctly]

Sit properly.

No! Now finish eating.

Get off my chair! I said, "sit down."

[Dyane] tell him he's wrong. Damon, cool it.

Dante should have been on a warning by now.

I already did warn him. You have?

I already did warn him... All right. Then follow through.

[Whining] about three minutes ago.

Then follow through. [Jo] gee, I don't think

I've ever spent as much time going over the steps

Of a naughty technique than I have in this family.

It went in one ear and out the other.

I told you. [Whining] I was gonna sit!

You got up. You got up.

I told you not to get out of the table. I was gonna sit!

Now you have to stay in time-out.

And don had a major problem with being quiet.

So I just thought the only way

I'm gonna teach this guy how to do that

Is to really put a mask over his mouth.

This is what I'm gonna ask you to wear

To keep your mouth... [Squeaks lips]

She handed over a, uh, a muzzle, pretty much,

In the form of a, uh, a mask type of thing.

[Speaks indistinctly]

But it's still hard. I mean, even with that on.

Give me that! My paper! It's mine!

[Whines] um, um, I want to...

But I want it!

♪♪

[Giggles]

Eventually, dante realized that he wasn't going to win this one,

And dad was gonna knuckle down and do what was necessary.

[Timer beeps] and it was the first time that dad got it right.

So we go back, and we do what?

Explain. Hey.

[Laughs]

Hi, dante. Hi, dadda.

Well, the reason why I had you in time-out

Is because you didn't do what daddy said,

You didn't sit in-- at the table

Until you were excused.

Tell daddy you're sorry. Sorry.

Give me a hug and a kiss.

I tell you, it's been a long time coming,

But I can say now safely

That dad does know how to do a time-out right.

You were? Okay. All right. Yes. Yes.

Finally, progress.

But unless mom and dad come together,

Then nothing actually will ever get solved.

Are you ready for some work? Yeah.

Yeah, I think so.good,

Because I will need you to put your coats on

'Cause we're going outside. Okay.

It is coming to the end of my time with dyane and don,

But what I want to do is to take them outside.

There's a very important point to be made.

As you can see, we're at a very large locker of ice.mm-hmm.

It's quite symbolic because...

Very deep down at the bottom

Was a photograph of the pair of them.

There's that picture of... Remember that photo?

Yes. We--we didn't have children yet.

All right.

That was, uh, in our first year of marriage, yeah.

Do you remember how you both felt in that photo? I do.

How? Excited to be together,

Happy.

Free. But it takes work.

It takes work to remain in that place.mm-hmm.

And I just really basically spoke to them

About the importance of their marriage,

Their parenting.

These things take time, and you have to chip away,

But making sure that you are willing every day

To put in what's necessary

To get the results that you want.

So take an ice pick,

Because you're both gonna chip away from the top...

Oh. To reach that photo underneath.

Okay, watch your eyes.

All right, baby.

Let's get it, baby. Let's get it!

[Dyane] I thought it was a pretty neat thing to do

Because we were chipping away at all the stress and aggravation.

We just got to this happy couple,

And it just brought back a lot of memories.

There it is, baby.

I really think that I've made dad

Think about his behavior

And how that affects his wife, his marriage,

His kids, his family.

If you want how you both felt here... Mm-hmm.

Then you've got to work at it.

Yes.

Mm. [Makes kissing sounds]

Let's go inside.

And as we started to walk away,

He turned around very casually and said...

What was that I just heard?

I said, "it's my fault," really.

Why? Well, it's hard to...

Own up.

Why?

I'm feeling that all of this is really making

A deep impact on dad.

So when we got into the house,

I asked him just to express how he has been feeling to mom.

I'm sorry. I hate the way I've been acting

And my, uh, selfishness.

I hope that from this point on,

That we can, uh, move forward

And raise our kids

The way that we want to raise them,

You know, the right way.

So... I want to try.

I want to try to work at it...

Because I love you and the kids.

I know. Thank you.

Yeah, me too.

[Make kissing sounds]

♪♪

Listen, I am gonna go.

When I went in, mom and dad weren't really

On the same page together.

The kids never went out and played.

Mom felt like she was stuck in the house.

And dad really couldn't be bothered, to be honest with you.

But now they've got communication,

And they're enjoying their family life. Bye-bye, darling.

Bye-bye, jo. Bye-bye. I love you. [Makes kissing sound]

I didn't think anything could come

Of this crazy, stressed-out family.

What a difference. Let us go home now.

[Speaks indistinctly] take care. Come here. Kiss, kiss, kiss.

[Makes kissing sound] ignorance, I guess, is bliss,

But there wasn't much bliss in my house, I'll tell you.

Jo helped us with a lot of things. Take care of you, huh?

[Dyane] I know the kids are gonna be a lot happier.

They're gonna see the change in their mom and dad,

And it's gonna make for a happier family.

[Dante] maybe it fell down your shirt.

Don, keep going. Keep going, okay?

Take care. Thanks for everything. All right, listen.

Remember, your family is a priority.

Sometimes, it was some hard pills to swallow.

Bye-bye. Bye.

Thanks, jo. [Gianna yells indistinctly]

But I think that we can work it out.

And I think it-it's gonna work. I know it's gonna work.