06x08 - The Benton Family

[bunniefuu]

Tonight on "supernanny,"

Jo meets the benton family...

Where she discovers a marriage in crisis...

Why don't we just get a divorce if we're this unhappy?

[Grunts]and it's driving the kids wild.

[Rope snaps]aah, dude.

They use h*m* slurs...he told him he was gay.

It's offensive. It's morally not right.

And tough guy dad is in denial

Of how bad things have got.you're turning this into something that it's not.

Turning what into what, please?this whole situation.

Can jo help this family...greg.

I'm not even talking to you.

Nobody has thrown you under the bus.

At this point, I don't care what any of y'all say.

Before they break apart?[Boy] my turn!

We have problems in this family,

And I'm at my last resort.

No, this is not the last resort.

Yes, it is.

♪♪♪

Well, I'm in south carolina,

And it's rather humid.

But I'm here to help a family, so why don't we take a look?

[Both] hi, we're the bentons.

I'm amber.i'm greg.

And we have two boys--

Rivers, who's , and hunter, who's .

[Reading aloud]

Stop it. That hurts.

Hunter is a strong-willed child.

Stop it.

[Amber] rivers is the fuel to hunter's fire,

And he instigates hunter a lot.

[Rope snaps]dude, stop!

The boys fight on a daily basis.stop hitting me!

Aah, dude.

Rivers and hunter both have potty mouths,

Is what I like to call it.move your [bleep] hand.

Hunter...you're [bleep] mine.

Take it like a man.

For my discipline techniques, I do a lot of yelling,

Which is not very effective at all.

Turn off your light and get in the bed now!

I make a lot of threats to the boys.

You go to your room now.

You're supposed to be in your room.

Go to your own room.[Amber] I'm just wore out.

Where is the follow-through on discipline?

It's no wonder why these boys just do what they want.

Stop it now. Go to your room.

I'm probably a little more aggressive

Than amber is as far as discipline.

What are you doing, son? Why would you do that?i don't know.

They know how far they can go

And how much they can get away with.dad!

Get the gloves and go put 'em up now.

Once I reach that point, then I will respond.

I'm disappointed in you.

I mean, seriously, like, no room to breathe.

He wants us to build up, um, get weight in here

And then run around the house 'cause it helps us run faster.

Physical strength and being physically fit,

That--that is a priority.

They work out with weights.

I'm pushing them. I'm giving them that little extra edge.

I do want my boys to be tough.

You're getting tired already?

Just listen to dad.

Rivers, you're faster, but you're not hitting strong.

What kind of perfection is he looking for?

Get down there on your homework now.

And rivers' big problem is his homework.

Sit at the table so you're not daydreaming out there.

He can't even get a book out

Without us there over him.

I'm not staying up till : tonight doing homework, son.

Hurry up.

You've been studying this for all week,

And you can't tell me the mississippi river?

Just sit up here and learn it.

How is this little boy meant to get his homework done?

He's a nervous wreck.

[Amber] don't you dare do it. Hunter.

[Greg] hunter, boy, what's wrong with you?

Put that down![Amber] things escalate,

And it turns the whole house upside down.[Amber] hunter!

You didn't know that?dude!

Do not jump on my couch!

At times, I have felt like we were gonna fall apart,

And the boys were gonna be the demise of our family.

Rivers, go to your room right now.stop!

We can't handle it anymore, and we need some help.stop it.

[Both] supernanny, please come save us now.

Hey, guys, I know you're frustrated,

But please hold on in there,

Because I'm gonna be with you pretty soon.

♪♪♪

[Doorbell rings]

Hello. Hi.hello. How are you?

Hi. Pleased to meet you. Hi, I'm jo frost.nice to meet you.

When jo first walked in,

I couldn't believe she was standing there at that door.

I didn't know what to even say to her.

Hi. Pleased to meet you.

Hey, jo. I'm greg. Nice to meet you.

Hi, greg. Nice to meet you.this is hunter.

Hi, hunter. Pleased to meet you. Jo.

Is this your brother here?

Yeah, this is the older brother rivers.

Hi, rivers. Nice to meet you. Jo. How are you?

Hey. Nice to meet you, too.

And what I would like to see

Is just you guys do what you normally do.

And what the boys usually do is play outside.

Get him, buddy.

Get him. Get him, hunter. Get him.

Set, hut.

Good sh*t, buddy.

I know dad has some unusual methods

In how he keeps his boys fit...

[Greg] get him, hunter. Get him.

And I really wanted to ask him about it.

What's the w--purpose of the weights?

Just to help them be stronger.

We got the boys doing all these different exercises

To work on their strength and work on their development.

Is this--you've been lifting the weights,

So you've got the muscles?

I wanted to teach 'em

How to take care of theirselves as men.

Above all else, I can see

That dad really values being a man.

[Greg] don't let him get you, hunter.

Come on, son. You've gotta run him down.

Why are you so tired already?i need to watch him.

All right, come on, get up.ooh.

After dad went away, rivers came to mom

To share a problem with her.

[Whispering] he called me a...

Hunter, why are you calling him names?

Stop it. Keep your hands to yourself

And your comments to yourself.

What did he call him?he told him he was gay

And, um...

He called him a [bleep].

These boys should not be using

A h*m*, derogatory slur.

It's offensive. It's morally not right.

So is that quite typical then of hunter

To be abusive with his words?

Yeah, very abusive with his words all the time.

I can see the emotion,

And it's very upsetting for you.

I want people to like him,

And I don't want my child

To be the one that nobody wants around,

Which is what we've got right now.

Do people talk about it?

They do.

Where do you think he gets that ugly mouth from?

I don't know. He's his own person.

Mom's acting all mystified

About the language that the kids are using,

But, you know, it's not rocket science to work out

Where these kids are learning that language from.

[Amber] and I was just getting ready to water my plants.

With the boys back inside,

It was time for rivers' homework.

Oh, rivers and homework,

That is a very long, drawn-out process

Every day.

We're gonna go over his spelling words

So we're not up until midnight tonight.

Rivers started to get the books out,

And then before we knew it, we were into a spelling test.

Gigantic.

G-i-g-a-n-t...

I-c.[Jo] I saw that rivers was relying on dad

To give him the answers.

He's not gonna learn anything this way.

A.no, s-t-o-m-a-c-h.

[Sighs]again.

So dad started to lose patience.

Whoa, ho ho ho ho, put a mark.

You don't know that one. Let's get through these quickly.

A-s-p-i-r-e-r.no, you don't know that one.

Spell boston.[Hunter] b-o-s-t-a-r-d.

No. Get out of here.[Amber] hunter.

[Jo] and then hunter came in,

And then hunter wanted a full-blown conversation.

We're studying. Put that stick down.b-o-s-t-e-n?

No, b-o-s-t-o-n.

I was just thinking, how is this really helping rivers?

All right, you know which ones you missed.

All right, those five you missed, I want you

To go in there and write 'em out two times each.

I think that his parents have made him feel like a nuisance,

Like a burden.

There is no patience. There's no tolerance,

And then it leads to him feeling so incompetent

About doing any of his homework.

The problem is here at this table. It's--so you think

That the problem lies with rivers?yes.

Coming up on "supernanny,"

Jo learns a dark family secret...

And gives it to mom and dad straight...

Hunter's scared

That his parents are gonna get a divorce.

When "supernanny" returns.

♪♪♪

The boys can be very aggressive and mischievous,

Especially hunter.

Hunter.i really wanted to find out

If hunter understood

The impact on his family when he misbehaves,

And so I decided to have a conversation with him.

Right. Who do you think is more aggressive?

My daddy.your dad.

Sometimes, he's just unhappy

Because my mama was

Unhappy with him...

All right, okay.

So basically, mommy and daddy have their arguments

And stuff like that, huh?mm-hmm.

It usually happens at night,

Around : and : and stuff like that.

And then how does that make you feel?

It makes me feel like they're about to divorce.

And have you ever heard your parents

Mention that word before--divorce?mm-hmm.

This was quite surprising to hear this from hunter,

Because I hadn't seen mom and dad in a place

Where I thought it was that bad.

Mmm, something smells good.

Sometimes, parents try too hard to cover up

The little flaws that are happening there and then,

But you know that there's gotta be something going on.

Otherwise, you wouldn't be there.

Father god, we just give you thanks for this meal.

We pray that you will be with us this evening.

In your gracious name, we pray. Amen.amen.

Thanks for today.all right.

Thank you.and, um, I'll see you tomorrow for the family meeting.

Okay, see you.okay, thanks. Thanks.

Thank you. Have a good night.

Bye. I'll see you tomorrow. Bye.

I am very nervous about when I'm gonna sit down with jo.

I've got all ideas she's gonna tell greg and I

It's not the kids.

It's greg and I that are causing

These issues that's in our home.

[Jo] well, it's been an interesting observation day,

To say the least.

But at the end of the day,

I'm able to read between the lines. That's my job.

So we get to have a family meeting.

I hope they're ready for it.

♪♪♪

So let's talk about discipline.

There isn't really a discipline in this house.

You talk a good talk,

But there is no following through.

There is no warning.

There is no "this is what we expect from you."Y-you're right.

The boys don't know what their consequences are.

And everybody has to learn that.

There are consequences, whether they're good or bad,

For whatever action you take,

And it's about teaching these kids to not be impulsive,

But to listen, take direction and do as they're told.

Okay, so let's talk about homework.

Rivers, he's very, very nervous

When he does his homework.

Sort of.most definitely.

The longer we sit here, and the more frustrated we get,

The more nervous rivers gets.

It's creating this hostility between you all,

And you're making the situation worse.

I think that there's a good happy medium

In being able to find more independence

In doing the subjects he can do

And the ones that he is going to need more help with

And pacing that homework

So that you're not forever spending

Three or four hours a night doing that.

Well, we're ready to make a change for that.yeah.

Okay, so let's knuckle down

And talk about the boys-to-men stuff.

I've listened to you talk about them needing to be

Mentally strong and be tough

And be able to pack a punch,

But where does it leave room for the three of you

To be more emotionally connected?

It's not unmanly

For them to be in--in tap with their emotions.

It's very important,

Because it allows them to have smart, intelligent conversations

That can lead to resolution

Rather than using their fists.

I wasn't happy in the slightest

To hear hunter's mouth.

He thinks it's okay to go around

Calling people a [bleep].

No, that's not okay.

But he claims daddy says it.

You lead by example,

And what role model are you being?

It's not okay.it's gotta change.

Yeah.it's got to change.

You've kept quiet, but your mouth said a lot.

Look at this-- you've got a wife

Who's almost too scared to speak at the table

In case it causes conflict.

It's hard to point flaws out

Because you know it's gonna resort

In an argument sooner or later.

Saying that, I do want to talk about communication,

Because communication between the pair of you

Ishot when it shouldn't be.

Hunter has told me that this is what's going down--

You fire off at one another,

You get nasty with one another,

And it's not good.mnh-mnh.

And everything that you're seeing from your children

Is coming from what's been going on

Between the pair of you.

Hunter's scared

That his parents are gonna get a divorce.

I'd like to get busy doing some work.

Coming up on "supernanny,"

Dad hears some harsh truths...

And hits the roof...

You're turning this into something that it's not.

Turning what into what, please?this whole situation.

Greg.i'm not even talking to you.

When "supernanny" returns.

♪♪♪

So I've watched the kids misbehave.

Hunter has told me what he has.

Everything isn't what it seems,

So I do believe mom and dad are in for a wake-up call.

I need to show mom and dad

What effect their arguing is having on their family.

Let's take a look at some video footage

And talk about

What we're gonna see here, okay?

[Jo] there was this silence,

And you could see that they were both thinking,

Wow, you know,

This is our son saying this.

I knew that I had now touched

Some very raw nerves,

And I knew it was time for us all to sit down

And--and get talking, and dad wasted no time.

The whole volcano

Erupted there and then in front of me.

And you come in here in front of me and my wife

And start bringing up divorce

As if we're about to get a divorce.

You're turning this into something that it's not.

Turning what into what, please?this whole situation.

Greg became very defensive.

He felt that, you know, he was coming off looking bad.

And then you insinuate that we're on the brink of a divorce

Because my child told you that.

That's what I'm saying.nobody has insinuated

We're on the brink of a divorce, baby.what do you mean?

Hunter just said--that's what it seems like to me.

No, hunter--that's what it seems like to me.

Wait a minute. Hunter just said--

That's what she's trying to portray.

No, I'm not waitin' a minute,

And I'm not gonna be a part of it.

Hunter just said, "my mom has talked about divorce."

So you said that in front of them?

"But mom"--yes, I've said it in front of them.

Okay.i have said, "why don't we just get a divorce

If we're this unhappy?" I have said that.okay.

Hunter's expressing his feelings to somebody

He feels like he can open up to,

And you should respect that from him.i do respect that.

But I don't respect jo taking him out there by himself

And start putting words in his--

And getting him to say things...

I didn't put words in his mouth, greg.

A-about--about divorce.greg, I didn't put words in his mouth.

And then--and then coming over here and putting on the tape

And like, "this is what's going on with your family."

I mean, it wasn't good at all

To listen to this man feel this way,

But I realized that the truth had hit him hard.

Do you know what, greg?

You refuse to accept and listen

And respect what your wife has to say

Because you don't like what you're hearing.that's not so.

Really?jo is not here to hurt us. She's here to help us.

Wait a minute. I'm asking you, since all--since everything

That's coming out is a big surprise...mm-hmm.

Now why haven't you ever said anything?

You know how we all feel.

You know I love you. You know your children love you.

You know we all love you,

But the fact is...

[Voice cracking] we have problems in this family

That need to be resolved,

And I'm at my last resort.

No, this is not the last resort.

Yes, it is.

So this is the last resort?it has--

It has been--how long have we had our boys now?

Eight, ten years

Between the two of 'em?

We have problems,

And for you to sit there and say we don't,

You're in denial.

I mean, we are dysfunctional,

And nobody's blaming it just on you.okay.

It's all of us.

It's me and you as a pair,

Fighting the way we do, constantly around our boys.

There's a better way for us to handle our situations

Than what we're doing now.

So you got anything to say?

Nope,

Not a word.

Don't shut down, greg. Don't shut down.

No, this is y'all's ball game. Y'all finish it.greg.

No, I told you-- I told you...

No, it's--it's ourball game.

Don't throw me under the bus,

And this is exactly what you did.

See, and this is the problem.

So I hope you're happy. I hope you're happy.

I don't--i don't see what you see.

You got what you wanted. No, you got what you wanted.you--you feel like

It's all being put on you.so you finish your ball game.

Nobody has thrown you under the bus.

You know what? I--at this point,

I don't care what any of y'all say.

Greg, don't quit.

Greg...

Will you just give me the respect

To talk for two minutes, please?i'm not talking to you.

Will you give me the respect--

I'm not even talking to you.

Like--and I hope you're happy.

Coming up on "supernanny,"

Can mom and jo get through to dad?

She wants to talk to you.i don't want to talk.

Or will things deteriorate further

To the point of no return?he didn't just go--

Wait a minute. I'm talking. I'm talking!

No, you wait a minute. Let's finish that.

When "supernanny" returns.

♪♪♪

I showed mom and dad a video of hunter being aware

Of the word "divorce" being used,

And dad lost his cool.

Will you just give me the respect

To talk for two minutes, please?i'm not talking to you.

Will you give me the respect--

I'm not even talking to you.

Like--and I hope you're happy.

She wants to talk to you.

I don't want to talk.

Listen, I feel like a lot of these situations,

You are the one taking 'em out of context.

Hunter felt comfortable enough

To go to jo and air out his problems.

That's his right.he didn't just go--

Wait a minute. I'm talking. I'm talking!

No, you wait a minute. Let's finish that.

He didn't just go there and say that.that was his respect.

She asked him-- she got that out of him.

Look what-- look what you're doing.

Watching both parents talk to one another

Is no healthy situation.

They talk over each other,

Not listening to the other person,

And it's a shambles.

Time-out. Hold on. Time-out![Scoffs]

Time-out. Okay, hold on.

Let me just get something out of my bag.

Hold on a minute.so I brought in a timer

To let this family know that every time it turns,

That they have two minutes to talk,

And the other person has to be disciplined enough

To listen to what they have to say.

The pair of you, you start to talk, then you talk over.

You start to talk, and you talk over.

Nobody'slistening.

You talk.

When this water runs out, then you start, okay?

Listen to what the other person's saying.

Hear it and then respond.

Jo was a safe place for hunter to go to,

And you--i think you feel like I knew all about that.

It was as big a surprise to me as it was to you.

So a lot of things,

You're taking out of context,

And then you're getting offended at me

And upset with me

Because you think I'm throwing you under the bus.

You're very well aware of the problems around here,

Just as I am, just as the two boys are.

So nothing should be a surprise.

The only point I'm trying to make

Is I'm not shocked by what you're saying.

I just--i don't like the way that we went about it.

I'm not saying that hunter's creating things.

I-i do--he's obviously heard the word,

Because he said that his mama said it.

And, you know, if that word

Is being thrown around,

Then, you know,

L-let's do something about it.

We say a lot of words in anger that we shouldn't say--

And not meaning it.

So that--that's a fault,

And that's something we need help with,

And I recognize that.

That's an area that we need tremendous help in.

I think the timer worked well.

As they started to recognize

It was important to listen to one another,

It actually brought their tempers down.

So I think it's a good little measure

For those first five or ten minutes

When they're like two boars in a china shop.

I want to now do

What I have to do

To make things right and better for my children,

'Cause if we don't change,

Hunter's never gonna change.

The fact is now we're looking at boys that are in a place

That everything they take now,

They're gonna take into their adulthood.

What kind of got me the most is it's not about me.

You know, it's about my wife,

And it's about my two sons.

I mean, it's about the benton family.

I'm ready to move forward.

I'm ready to change things.

I've been ready.

Well, let's--let's do it.

You mean you're not gonna kick me out of your house?

I guess I'll let you stay a little bit longer.

[Laughing][chuckles]

♪♪♪

So now with greg on board,

I wanted to dive in straightaway

And work out homework for rivers.

So I am going to have to put in

A technique that will allow rivers to identify

When he needed his parents' help,

And when he could do it himself.

The subjects that you need more help on,

You're gonna place an "m & d" on.

Does anybody know what "m & d" stands for?

[Amber] "most difficult?" [Laughs]

No, but that was pretty good.

[Greg] that's good.okay, "mom & dad."

Oh, cool.all right.

The work that you don't need mom and dad's help for,

Have "rivers" on them.

And the reason for this, rivers,

Is because I want you to become more confident

Doing your homework yourself, and not being dependent

On mom and dad to give you the answers all the time.

And, rivers, you're going to put your stickers

On the appropriate books.

[Whispers] okay.okay, so let him do it.

No, no, let him.all right, you do it.

Let him do it.all right. So you put an "r" on there.

Shh, you're tellin' him.

The whole thing's here--see--no, let him do it.

Greg was still mollycoddling him through everything.

All right, let him do it. He's got to think for himself.all right, I got you.

He's got to think for himself, because he--he's not gonna

Have you always, is he? I think not.

All right, I'm not always gonna be here, buddy.

Jo recognized right away us bein' right over him

Has just got to stop.

[Jo] the last part of homework is creating some boundaries

Between the parents and rivers.

Now okay, we're gonna find you a place

For you to go when it's just you doing the "r" work.

Okay? So good, you--you're smiling.

You're like, "yeah, this sounds good."[Laughing]

All right, smiles for everybody, okay?[Greg] awesome.

[Amber] I felt relieved when I saw jo giving us

A plan of action to deal with this homework situation,

And rivers was ecstatic about it.

And I think that that's gonna be

A confidence-builder for him.

Get out your penmanship books.

I'm not gonna do it.you are supposed to be doing your penmanship.

[Jo] when hunter wouldn't sit down and do his homework,

It was a perfect opportunity for me to teach mom

How to do discipline properly.

Take that piece of metal out of your mouth now...

[Speaking indistinctly]before you break your teeth.

[Metal clatters]thank you.

No, sir. I don't think so.

It doesn't matter if you're playing.

We're not playing right now.i couldn't believe my eyes.

Mom was in his face, and he couldn't care less.

Place the pencil in my hand... Gently.

Hunter. This is your warning, hunter.

Why do you have to--hand me that other pencil. Hand me the pencil.

[Pencil clatters]hand--this is your last chance.

Excuse me, not "last chance."This was your warning.

This was your warning.

He got--that--no, no, no, no. He's already had...

A chance.a warning. He needs some discipline.

So he can go and sit up in his room,

And he can stay there for eight minutes

And think about what he's done. And I suggest you tell him.

Ti--you've got to step up, amber.

Otherwise, you're always gonna get this from hunter.

And it's all very well me stepping in

And talking to hunter, but I'm not hunter's mother,

And I'm not gonna be there forever.

Mom needs to recognize that if she follows through,

She will get that respect from hunter,

But she's gonna need to work for it.

Go to your room.[Jo] look what he's doing.

Hunter, I'm talking to you. You have eight minutes

In your room, and I will let you know when you're--

I know, eight minutes. Okay! Okay!

Hunter!i know! You don't--mm!

Hunter, come here, please, right now.

[Jo] mom was really struggling to get hunter

To get into his room, and so I had to step inagain.

You see the stuff that you're doing there in the kitchen

With your mom? It's not acceptable.

Do you understand me?mm-hmm.

Now take yourself upstairs, please.

[Stomping]

[Door slams]

[Timer beeping]

And when those eight minutes were over,

I went with mom to help her finish

Her first proper time-out.

Could you sit up and look at me please?

"Could you?" Is that a question? Are you asking...could you sit up and--

Or you telling?sit up and look at me.

Yeah.do you know why you were sent to your room?

What should you do for mistreating mommy?

I'm sorry.

Amber recognizes the importance now of discipline,

But she needs to do it correctly.

Her biggest challenge is going to be following through.

I'm going for several days, and I just don't know

If mom can keep this up.

I mean, only time will tell.

[Jo] I'm going away for three days.

I've left quite a few techniques

In this house to be followed through on.

[Jo] they certainly have a lot of homework to do,

And I really hope

That they get these techniques underneath their belt,

Because it's gonna make a huge difference.

Dad.[Greg] yes.

If you get a chance for you to do anything with the boys

That's just nurturing the emotional side, spot on.

With jo being gone, you know, these, um,

The rules are gonna have to be enforced,

And w-we cannot just let it slide.

Amber, you showed good promise

When you were steppin' up, doin' discipline.

I want to see you follow through and do that, okay?

I've exhausted everything with hunter,

And I'm not really sure which way to turn now.

And I'm not gonna have jo there to jump in

And help me with that.

That's gonna be the toughest thing for me.

Coming up on...

Mom's behavior gets jo agitated.

Seriously, you're a pain in the butt.

And dad is pushed to the brink...

I'm not rushin' you. I'm askin' you to--

Yes, you are! You're saying--

Stop talkin' to me like that. I'm your daddy.

You're not gonna talk to me like that. Do you understand?

When "supernanny" returns.

♪♪♪

All right,

Ready to watch this dvd or not?

Yeah, I'm ready.[Sighs] I don't know. We'll see.

So homework--

Let's take a look

And see how we got on with that.

What do you mean, "you're done with this math"?

Where?how can you be done with it?

The first one I looked at, you ain't done.

Is that supposed to be a "" or a "" right there?

[Cell phone buttons beeping]"."

Are you sure that's supposed to be a ""?

Yes.how about a ""?

We're gonna finish those three, 'cause really, technically,

You're supposed to work all the way up to page .

[Groans]i'm not gonna make you do it today, though.

[Imitates g*nsh*t]but we're takin' your science book to the beach.

Come here. Before you leave...[Groans]

Okay, this is your area here...[Imitates g*nsh*t]

But one thing I expect you to do is clean it up.

[Sighs]

Oh, dear.

Amber, what happened?

Well, I go back, and I look over all the answers

To make sure he's answering 'em correct.

It's not your homework.

It's rivers' homework.

I mean, it's one thing to look over work

And say, "hey, son, you've got a couple wrong here"

And circle them.

But you're doing it for him. You're overcontrolling.

You have got to step back.

Seriously, you're a pain in the butt.

How is he learning?

What's gonna happen when the boy has to sit with other kids

And do an exam?

How's he gonna do it on his own?

Let's move on to dad's tone, okay?

I'm not even gonna do it.

Okay, well, that's your choice.

Let me go downstairs with you.

Listen, when I come back up here,

You'd better be writin' those spelling words,

And you'd better have all this stuff here picked up.

Pick this stuff up now.i will!

No, you pick it up now.i am. [Whines]

Pick it up now...i'm goin'!

Or else, I'm gonna add an hour to your time-out.i'm goin'!

I'm goin'! I'm goin'! I'm goin'! Dang!

Stop--stop talkin' to me like that.

Stop rushing me!i'm not rushin' you, I'm askin' you to--

Yes, you are. You're saying, "do this now. Hurry."I'm askin' you

To pick your stuff up. Hurry up.

I'm trying. You don't see me! You don't see me!pick your stuff up.

Okay! Dang!

Stop talkin' to me like that.it says, "do that."

Look at me. Look at me.

Stop talkin' to me like that. I'm your daddy.

You're not gonna talk to me like that. Do you understand?

Listen, buddy. You're workin' hard on restrictions.

I--do you understand?

Oh, I thought it was an episode of boot camp going on there.mm.

Where'd--where'd I go wrong there?you walked in,

And your tone started off okay.

And you let him know what you needed to be done.

And what you could have then said is,

"I'll be back in minutes to see that you've done that"

Or, "give me a call, and you let me know when that's done"

And walk out.

But when you didn't do that, he met you with the same

Of what you were delivering,

And you just go around in this circle that's quite nasty.

Uh, everything that you say is true.

It's not just the boys changing.

There's things that we've got to change.we'll take a moment

To look at discipline and see how we got on here.

Hunter, you have yet to get your grammar out

And do your grammar work as you were told to do.

Go get your grammar book now.

Sit down and do your grammar now!

I am tired of askin'! Now!

Go to your room now.i've gotta--

Go to your room. Go to your room.i've gotta get--

Go to your room now.

You see what he's doing? He cannot move.

You have i-invaded his space. And to be honest with you,

Y-you're all but far from basically giving a slap

Across the backside.oh, yeah.

Yeah? That's--you can see.

I mean, I've been here before with parents.

You've lost control there. You've lost control.

I gave you enough of warnings,

So go to your room...why?

Right now. Go.what? Why?

Because I don't like your attitude.

I don't like the way you're acting toward me.i didn't say--

And you're not doing as I told you.

Do not slam that door.

I did not slam it!

Okay, you can stay in your room for an hour.

You get your grammar book, and you go back to your room

For another...

I'm gonna tell you minutes this time.

[Door slams]

Open this door.

Better than that, you stay in your room

Until it's time to go to football.

Do you understand me?[Hunter] okay!

You will not come out of this room until it's time

To go to football.

When you gave him a warning, you didn't allow him

To be able to put things right.

This boy didn't have a chance.

[Greg] he didn't have a chance, yeah.

How do I decide-- minutes, minutes,

An hour in your room?you were told eight minutes full stop

If it's to be in his room.

When you step up as a parent, and you implement discipline,

And you follow through very calmly,

Then you show them that you can be firm but fair.mm-hmm.

So we need to go over discipline again with you, okay?

We do need to look at homework.

We need to work on your tone.

We need to work on your frustration with discipline,

And we need to get that underneath your belt.

You need to be more clear on the discipline.

Otherwise, it's going to become worse and more destructive.

So we have got some more work to do.

We're not out of the woods yet, as we would say.no.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.so, uh, shall we get cracking?

Let's get cracking.yeah.

Coming up on...

Hunter gets on dad's last nerve.[Greg] she was very excited.

She was pukin' and blowin' her... [Laughing]um, hey.

Look at me. That's your warning.

But the boy thinks it's all a big joke...

I think--i can imagine pukin' all over.

When "supernanny" returns.

♪♪♪

Having watched mom not following through with discipline,

It was important for me to go and give her

A nice reminder of what she needed to do.

[Jo] "discipline steps. Warning [only one]."

"Follow through."

And the last one here is "make up." That's it.all right.

I'm gonna place them up here...okay.

So you'll start to memorize them.

However, if you're in the heat of the moment,

And you have this memory loss,

I'm gonna ask you to wear this.

Oh, with a scroll on it.

Oh, now that's good.

Mommy doesn't have any excuses.

I put the discipline scroll up on the wall.

Mom had looked at her tiny scroll a few times,

And I just wanted to see whether she was taking anything in.

Amber, can you give me,

Off the top of your head,

The three main points of discipline?

Warning, follow through, make up.

Mom had the three steps down,

But it's one thing to say them-- you gotta do them.

I could see on the dvd

That mom just wasn't leaving rivers alone

When it came to him doing his homework.

So I gave her one last exercise

So that rivers could get the space that he needed.

This is what would normally happen.

[Imitating amber] are you all right there, rivers?

Are you able to do that?

Mm-hmm.are you all right there? A-and what's that you're doing?

Well--did I just break your concentration?

[Giggles]so...

[Normal voice] all right.

[Greg] she's pickin' on you, buddy.

Okay, so this is what would normally happen.

[Amber] no, she's pickin' on me.

I think mom and dad have learned from my example,

But it remains to be seen

Whether they can resist temptation.

The more you leave him to be independent in doing it,

The more he'll learn how to cope.

So we want you from here, all right?okay.

[Amber] staying out the room's a good idea,

'Cause it gives rivers more independence,

And it keeps me off of his back.

We gotta let him go sometime and spread his wings.

So...sounds good.

Good idea. Good deal.

It's gonna create more space.

♪♪♪

This was a completely different mom

To what I'd seen on the dvd.

She was calm, and she was leavin' him be.

Okay, fabulous. So I'm happy with this.mm-hmm.

Okay.if you find that he's comin' in to you a lot,

Because now you don't go in to him,

I just want you to be able to say,

"You need to go back into your room

And get on with what you're doing."Okay.

And sure enough,

Rivers came out, just as I predicted.

How about your spelling?

[Greg speaking indistinctly]

You don't worry about this right now.

...and later, you might be able to get some of that.

Okay, you don't worry about this right now.

Rivers, go.

How you handled that was good.

Well, thank you very much.you were just calm.

It was a lot more productive, and you're less stressed.i'm tryin'.

I think mom's come a long way. She's not barkin' in his face,

And she's not doing rivers' homework for him.

And that's gonna be better for the whole family, let's face it.

♪♪♪

Before I left,

There was one other thing I wanted to do with dad.

You see dad all the time connect with his boys

When he's really physical, when he roughhouses with them.

[Greg] get him, hunter. Get him.

But I wanted him to connect with his boys

In a more emotional way,

So I asked him to get out some old photos

And talk to the boys about the day they were born.

[Greg] guess what I got?[Rivers and hunter] our baby pictures.

Let's look at rivers' first.

This is a picture of you

Inside of mommy's belly.[Laughs]

We found out that it was a little boy,

And I was so excited.

You always wanted a little boy.

I always wanted a little boy.

You can't describe it how wonderful it is

Sittin' out on a blanket and takin' some pictures

Of hunter and rivers and talkin' about things

That we don't talk about every day.

And that's rivers-- looked like a little peanut-head

Stickin' out of there.[Jo laughing]

To have the boys out there, those are the kind of moments

That you will remember.look at dad there, rivers.

Look how happy you are.

And guess who changed your first diaper?you did.

I did.thank you.

Then mama was pregnant with hunter.

There he is.look.

There's the little cannonball.[Laughs]

Sitting down and actually listening to greg talk

About when the boys were born was a nice moment.

You could see that dad was connecting with the boys

On an emotional level.

Look. Look at your mommy.

She looks like she's about to puke.

But unfortunately, it was ruined

When hunter became very disrespectful.

Your mom did a lot for you. She sacrificed for you.

Can you imagine having to be in your mommy's belly

For nine months? I think--

I can imagine pukin' all over.

Hunter, stop. Um, hey.

Look at me. That's your warning.

Okay, that's a warnin'. I know.

[Jo] how was mommy feeling?

Mommy actually had some complications,

So she had to stay in the hospital a few days,

But, uh, she was very excited.

She was pukin' and blowin' and--

Hunter...i know what you're sayin'.

That was--look at me. We're talkin' out here.

But inevitably, hunter continued

Being smart with his mouth,

And he ended up having to do a time-out.

[Jo speaking indistinctly]

[Greg] hunter's going to time-out.

[Door slams]it's embarrassing.

It's embarrassing for me as a father to have to sit there

And listen to my son say those things.mm-hmm.

But you're doing something about it,

And that's what's important.

And when hunter played up, it gave dad an opportunity

There and then to deal with the discipline technique.

Okay, so, uh, it's been about eight minutes now.

I saw from the dvd

That the last time dad was in hunter's room,

It became a shouting match.all right, listen...

This time, dad needed to follow through with discipline

And keep his cool.

[Greg] I'm asking you to tell me what you did

And apologize for it.

I'm...i'm sorry.

Okay, now come here and give me a hug.

Boy. [Groans]

I was proud of greg. He was firm but fair.

He kept very calm, and I do feel that I'm able to leave greg

Knowing how to discipline properly.

Bye, boys. Mwah!

Rivers.

I will really miss jo when she goes away,

But I know we can't have her there forever.

So once she's gone, she's gone.

You're a different man.

I'm seeing the emotional man now, aren't i?no.

No, no, no, you're not. No, you're not.

Look at--i am! I'm seeing you.

I'm looking at your face.

No, you're not. No, you're not.

Jo comes in, and she's laid out the--the foundation

And the groundwork.

So it's up to us now as a family to make it happen.

You have to maintain it for it to work.

All right.keep up your work. Take care.

Thank you, jo.

Jo saying good-bye was bittersweet.

I hate to see her go.amber,

Take care.thank you.

The future for the bentons looks so much more positive.

Be careful. Have a safe trip to your next family.bye. Bye. Thank you.

Okay.keep in touch.

[Amber] all right. Thanks.we will.

We're gonna all miss her.