07x14 - The Federico Family

[bunniefuu]

Tonight on "supernanny,"

All bets are off as jo heads to las vegas...

[Boys crying]hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

[Screams]and meets a set of parents

Who refuse to stop babying their kids.[Jo] you want to sit here

And mollycoddle how he's feeling emotionally.

Absolutely. Absolutely.and I'm saying, don't.

Their three boys are surviving on sugar...

Maybe we'll get you something sweet to eat.

It'll make you feel better.and mom and dad are happy to feed their junk food habits.

[Man] you gotta go with them?listen, if I give you a piece of candy, will you come with me?

Can jo get these parents to ante up on discipline...

You're setting your kids up for absolute disaster.

And go all in with her teaching...

Sylvia, just be honest.

I am being honest.you're not.

Or will she have to fold her hand and walk away?i'm here to help you,

And I'm here to help your family.

Now you're either gonna let me in,

Or you're gonna send me home.

♪♪♪

♪♪♪

So I'm in busy las vegas, nevada,

Ready to help a family double down on discipline.

Let's take a look.

[Both] hi. We're the federico family.

I'm sylvia.i'm michael.

And we have three sons...

Dominic--age ,

Michael--age , and vincent--age .

I am a partner at one of the largest law firms

In las vegas. I typically work to hours per week.

[Sylvia] and I'm home full-time with the kids.[Cries]

Are you gonna help us now?[Screams] no!

Our discipline style is just basically wanting everybody

Just to get along.

[Crying] no.

Yeah. Come on. Let's have a plan. Come on now.

No.

When they throw tantrums, I will give in.

I want to be a fun mom.

I don't want to say no to my boys too much.

So they'd rather be their kids' friend than parent.

That's ludicrous.

[Crying] no!

[Speaks indistinctly]

[Crying]i like to dangle something in front of the children

In exchange for them behaving and doing as we say.

Dominic, michael, you guys were good. Who wants something?

You've got your priorities all upside-down.

Give me your hand. Give me your hand.

Let's go.hand. Hand. Hand. Hand.

[Crying] let me go.hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

We typically don't like to go out with the children.

They just don't want to behave,

And no matter what you do, you--you can't stop it.[Crying]

Do you want a cookie? Cookie?if they're behaving badly, I will definitely bribe 'em.

[Fusses][sylvia] everybody gets a cookie.

Anything to get them to calm down.

[Jo] you're rewarding inappropriate behavior.

What are they teaching these kids?

[Screams]

[Sylvia] dominic is my big baby.

[Cries]

He's very sensitive with his emotions,

So he needs to be babied.

Finish your peas. Here.

Not good. How crazy is that?

[Both crying]

[Crying][sylvia] supernanny, we are at a breaking point with

The children, because they have taken control of our house.

[Crying]what?

[Both] supernanny, please come help us.

Okay, mom and dad, we're gonna have to sort out discipline

And get more control. I'll see you soon.

[Doorbell rings]

Hello. Hi. Pleased to meet you. Jo.hello! Hi!

Hi. Can I come in?come in.

I am very excited to meet jo. However, I am extremely nervous.

Hi! Who do we have here?

Vincent. He's .

And this is...dominic.

Hi, dominic. Pleased to meet you. I'm jo jo.i'm .

You're . Say, "hi. Pleased to meet you."Hi.

Hi. So, first step's first. I guess I better look, right?

Yes. [Laughs]and learn.

On the taxi ride over, I saw that mom and dad

Baby dominic quite a lot, so I'm very keen to see

If dominic can do any of those life skills on his own.

Dominic, did you pick out your clothes today?

Um, no.no. Who picked it out for you? Did mommy pick it out? Or daddy?

My mommy.it's difficult for him to dress himself,

Because he might not pick the right clothes,

So I will help him out, 'cause I love babying my dominic.

Dominic is a really... Big boy for his age,

So one thing we do have trouble with

Is clothes fitting his size, because one day...right.

You know, the same clothes won't fit that...

That--they may have fit, like, a couple weeks ago,

So I will--i remain in control and pick his clothes for him.right. Right.

And does that make it very difficult

For him to get himself dressed as well?

In the pants, I think so, because...

Because we might not have the right-fitting clothes.

If mom knows that some clothes are too small,

Why is she keeping them in the wardrobe?

Dominic's years old.

He's more than capable of dressing himself.

[Vincent whines]

After lunch, mom went to put vincent down for a sleep.

Bye, guys!

Then I saw dominic fly to the pantry

To grab something to eat, but he'd only just eaten.

He's sneaking food...andthenhe hid underneath the table to eat.

I wonder what mom has to say

About all this sneaky behavior when it comes to eating.

Why are they sneaky with food?

Well, dominic, because I scold him... About it.

Right. Do you scold him because of your--your concerns...yes.

With food and the impact that it will make on his health?

Yes. And he will-- he will sneak 'em.

Right. Right, okay.i will give him some...

Yes.because I like to control some of it.

Yeah.but then oftentimes, I'll give him some and then I hear...

The chair sliding towards the pantry.right. Right.

Do you think dominic eats because he's hungry?

If dominic's just eaten lunch,

Yet he's going to grab more food,

Then there's something else going on here,

And I need to get to the bottom of this.

[Sylvia] michael, why don't you go down the slide?[Jo] a little later,

Mom took the boys out to the back to play,

But she wasn't pleased with the game that they chose.

Don't go down with the golf--golf clubs.

Dominic, you cannot...

Don't take the golf...

Dominic!

Put the golf club down.

You can't go down the slide with the golf club!

Do they never listen to you?rarely.

And if they don't listen to you and...

And they continue to misbehave,

What--what is your form of discipline?

Mine? I usually thr*aten 'em with a spanking.

I never follow through with it,

'Cause they're too old for a spanking.

Why would you thr*aten a punishment,

If you actually are not gonna follow through?

At the end of the day,

This mom's form of discipline is basically nothing.

Okay, stop fighting, you guys. Let's go eat lunch. All right--

Dominic hit you with a golf club?

I'm sorry.

What happened?

He said dominic hit him with a golf club...right.

And I said "sorry" to him.why is mom apologizing?

Don't you think it would just make sense

If mom just got to the bottom of this issue...so that's it? That's it?

And dealt with it properly?

I'm just not seeing sylvia's logic here.

Coming up on...i'd be lying if I didn't tell you I've pulled out

A sweet here and there, but that's a--that's a backpack.

Jo discovers the source of dominic's obsession with food.come with me.

[Michael] no, you gotta go with them.

Listen, if I give you a piece of candy, will you come with me?

And jo lays the cards on the table...

You're setting your kids up for absolute disaster.

When "supernanny" returns.

♪♪♪

Hi, guys.later on in the afternoon, dad got home from work...

Michael federico, nice to meet you.hi. How are you? Hi.

And he barely had time to say hello

Before dominic started whining to try and get his attention.

Okay, well, come over here. Let's talk to mama about it.

Maybe we'll get you something sweet to eat,

Make you feel better. Think he wants a hurt prize, mama.

A "hurt prize"? What's that?

The hurt prize is basically some kind of sweet treat

To make them happy, and I use hurt prizes all the time.

Oh, oh, oh.let's be honest.

All he's doing is using food as a pacifier,

And that's going to create

A really unhealthy relationship for dominic with food.

Now that I had the whole family together, I was really curious

To see how mom and dad handled the kids out in public,

So I asked them to prepare for a short outing.

Okay...

Some juice...

Couple of these...

I'm a little bit confused right now, because sylvia's talking

About the amount of snacks that these kids are eating

And the health issues surrounding that, yet she's

Filled a backpack full of candy, enough to feed an army.

I'd be lying if I didn't tell you I've pulled out

A sweet here and there, but that's a--that's a backpack.yeah, no, understood.

We are both worried about taking the kids out in public,

So we have a tendency to bribe them with sweets.we bring that stuff just--

Just in case there's an issue. Just in case there's an issue.

These kids are just being fed candy

To keep themselves at bay from their behavior

Because the parents won't step up and address that behavior.

Ridiculous!a couple more snacks, just to make sure. [Chuckles]

♪♪♪

[Michael] michael with mom?[Sylvia] he doesn't want to.

You gotta get him here. You gotta go with mama.michael, come with me.

Hey, look, it's time for you to go with mama, okay? Go.[Whines]

Yes, I said yes, now. You have to. Here.

Within minutes of arriving at the strip,

The kids started complaining, and, on cue, there was mom,

Dishing out the candy.[Michael] no, you gotta go with them.

Listen, if I give you a piece of candy, will you come with me?

I promise to give you guys something really good

If you come with me. Here.[Speaks indistinctly]

You've already had how many today?

I think that's an understatement.

Understatement.

Quite frankly, I'm appalled.

It's unhealthy and it's irresponsible,

And these parents should be stepping up

And actually dealing with the misbehavior

When it happens out in public,

And not bribing the kids.

[Sylvia] come on, dominic. Come with me.[Whines]

Come on. No, your knee doesn't hurt.

Every excuse in the book with him.

Then all of a sudden,

Dominic started to complain that his knee was hurting him,

And before my own eyes, there was michael and sylvia

Arguing about whether dominic should go into the stroller.

No! Don't put him in the stroller.

He wants to go in the stroller.

Because you feel embarrassed?

No, because I can't carry him... Honey... For miles.

But you-- but hold on a minute.

What's the dis-- what's the distress there?

You want to put him in there, and you were gonna hold him?no, he's babying him.

There's nothing wrong with his knee, honey.he's just, uh...

There's really nothing wrong with his knee. He's... Yes.

He fakes it sometimes so he can sit down here.

It's a little embarrassing, pushing a child that big,

But the bottom line is it's better than having a fit

Or just not being able to go where you want to go.

So you think that dominic should just walk?

[Sylvia] yes.[Child whines]

Leg's hurting or not, just walk?[Sylvia] yes.

But mom went along with it anyway. At the end of the day,

They're treating dominic like a baby. It's absurd!

♪♪♪

So we got back home

And I was thinking to myself, I'm gonna observe this family.

Oh, no. Michael and sylvia--

They've got other plans for the evening.

Let's go. Are you guys ready?

Where are you going?to the gym.

Like, are you all going, or you got a nanny coming in?they have child care,

And they'll have--they have jumping houses and slides.

It's : in the evening, these kids are , , and ,

And instead of them winding down,

These kids now are being dragged off to the gym.

I've seen enough.

All right, well, listen, get your sneakers on,

Do what you need to do, and I will catch up with you both

Tomorrow morning then. Thank you.thank you.

Do the federicos have any interest

In getting their parental skills up to scratch?

I don't know, to be honest.

I'm gonna have some serious words with them tomorrow.

♪♪♪

We're getting ready for our sit-down with jo,

And I'm a little bit nervous.

I'm expecting for her to really let us have it.

So what time did we, uh, get back from the gym last night?

Approximately, uh, --:, :.

So what time did the kids get to bed then?

Last night it was about... :.

That, to me, is ludicrous,

That children would even go to bed that late,

Knowing they're not gonna get their hours' sleep in

And what's necessary for school and their development.

You guys have created foryourselves

A lifestyle that doesn't really benefit the kids

In, fundamentally, what's necessary forthem.

Let's talk about yourself, michael, and your work,

Because, obviously, you work long hours, correct?

Correct.

So the time that youdohave when you're with your family

You want to be meaningful. But if you make choices

To then go off to the gym, and actually not spend that time

With the kids when there is a small window,

How does that allow you

To develop a relationship with each one of the boys?

Obviously it doesn't.

Let's talk about behavior

Out in public,

Because watching the children's behavior yesterday,

They actually don't listen to you and respect

What you're asking them to do.

Yes.what happens is, is that

That behavior gets pacified with food.

I mean, I almost feel like I'm watching shamu at some seaworld.

I mean, the kids are bribed.exactly the way it is.

You're setting your kids up for absolute disaster.

We don't want that.and these kids should be listening

And doing as they're told. There are times when

They're gonna have to do that very quickly because of safety.

How do they get a sense of--of morally behaving a certain way

Because it's the right thing to do?

Not because you're gonna get payback.

I-i just don't know what your logic is.

Maybe it's a matter of just thinking that they're gonna

Be happy that way and not be mad at us

For scolding them or for trying to discipline 'em, so...

Oh, I think none of you want to enforce it on the children.

That's not true.itistrue.

It's true for--wewantto.

I don't think you want to, because I don't see

Any discipline at all for the behavior

That gets out of control. The kids behave the way they do,

And there is never once consequence for that.

They're not learning

The difference between right and wrong.

I saw, on a few occasions, your kids sneaking food...

Oh!out of the pantry.

Only a few?[Chuckles]

What needs to be really established here

Is healthy eating patterns and choices.

Otherwise they're gonna be grazing all day.

The fact that they just go in and take what they want

Andsneakthe food away?

It's an unhealthy relationship with food,

Because they were being bribed with it.admittedly, yes.

Let's take a look at the kids' development,

Because I look at dominic and I feel that

Everything's done for him, everything's pandered for him.mm. Oh, yes. Oh, yes.

He's not been given any little responsibilities.

He needs to-- to grow and to do things

And become more self-sufficient,

Rather than the babyish behavior that we see from him

And the temper tantrums that he has

That one would expect from a /-, -year-old.

Yes.

You know, at the end of the day,

How does he grow up to become capable

Of doing the things that are necessary for him to thrive?

Okay, so are we ready to start some work?

[Michael and sylvia] yes.yeah? Okay, good.

We want to do what's best for the boys,

And we'll do whatever it takes.

Coming up on...

I want to take away the bribes.can dominic cut the candy?

And jo calls mom's bluff.

Stop fighting me and listen to what I'm saying.

You want to sit here and mollycoddle

How he's feeling emotionally...absolutely. Absolutely.

And I'm saying don't.

When "supernanny" returns.

♪♪♪

The federicos clearly don't want to discipline their kids.

They'd rather use food

As a leverage to make them behave better.

Well, I tell you now, it stops. They need to learn discipline,

And they need to learn it properly.

Okay, we're gonna use the naughty corner.

I'm gonna show you how to do it properly.sounds good.

I took mom and dad through the steps.

When the time has been done, you go back for a second time

And you explain why they were put in time out.

You then go for the apologies, hugs and kisses, and we walk on.

But mom noticed something out of the corner of her eye.

I think he did a little--

And I've lost your attention, so--

No, because I think he did a swing,

So I think michael did a push toward vinnie.

He did? So then that's what you can--

No contact, but yes.so then give him a warning for that.

Michael, remember, we said no hitting and no pushing, okay?vincent hit me.

Vincent didn't hit you.

Eye contact always.

Look at me.mnh.

If you don't look at me, I'm gonna put you in the corner,

And you're gonna stay there...mnh.

Until you're . [Laughs]give him a proper warning,

'Cause that wasn't a proper warning, what you gave him.okay.

Okay, you want eye contact, you're coming down to his level,

And you're using the firm voice

That I know you already have there, all right?okay.

No. [Cries] no.stop. Michael.

Michael, look at--stop.

What? [Whines]okay. All right.

And now what to do when he's struggling?stop there.

I don't like to raise my voice or sound mean or anything.

[Lowered voice] I want you, in a very firm voice, okay,

Say to him, "michael, I want you to come here right now,

Otherwise you are going straight into time out."I am giving you a warning.

"Come here right now..."You need to come here right now.

You need to listen to me..."Otherwise I'm putting you in time out."

Otherwise you are going into that corner.

So you have a choice.

No, he really doesn't.

Michael refused to listen, so he went straight into time out.

[Crying] no, mama!

The rules are, you have to listen to mama.i want to talk to papa.

Yes, but now you are in time out,

And you're gonna stay in the corner.no, I'm not in time out!

Yes, you are.no! [Screaming and crying]

Move away. Set the timer, and when he moves

Out of the corner, you're gonna put him back.okay. Stay.

Don't talk to him.how--

Take him by his hand, and bring him straight back.no! I'm sorry!

Take him by his hand, and bring him straight back.you're sorry?

Yes!okay, good. That's good. I'm glad you're sorry.

I'm very happy that you're sorry. Oh, I'm good.

He's saying sorry. But you're gonna stay in the corner...i'm sorry.

Because--or no? I'm not happy that he's sorry?i wanna go with my mama.

What are you doing?well, putting him back in the corner.

What did I say to you?mama, no!

Not to speak to him.don't speak to him at all.

[Mouths word][jo] sylvia just wasn't getting it.

I said don't talk to him, and then she goes ahead

And she talks to him. I mean, no parent likes to discipline,

But you have to do what's right.

When you've put them in the corner,

And they realize that you're being very serious,

The first thing they're gonna do is go, "sorry! Sorry, sorry!"

He should've listened in the first place. He knew.

He just wanted to be defiant and not listen to you.

One warning and him not listening is good enough.[Sylvia] okay.

[Screams and cries][jo] mom could hardly bring herself to discipline her son.

I think she thinks if she disciplines her son,

He's not gonna love her anymore.

[Timer buzzes]

When you go back, you're gonna explain

For the second time why he's in there.

[Crying]you were in the corner because you didn't listen.

[Speaks indistinctly]say sorry.

I'm sorry.

I love you.

Come out of the corner. What's done's done.

I was happy that that time out was over,

Because this, to me, was t*rture.

[Jo] instead of mom and dad teaching dominic

To be more independent, they've been pandering to him,

And it just is not teaching him the life skills

That are necessary for him to learn,

So I'm going to bring in an achievement board,

Which really should encourage him.[Sylvia and michael] wow.

[Boy] crayon.this is for you, dominic.

This is to keep track of all the things

That you can do by yourself.

[Jo] so I sat down with mom and dad,

And I had them write out

Some tasks that he could proudly achieve himself.[Jo] so brushing the hair?

Mm-hmm. Pick his own clothes.

[Boy] yay!that's marvelous.

You're gonna set out the clothes in his closet,

So that then he can just choose those, okay?

Do you know what we'll do, dominic?

Mommy's gonna put all your clothes down there,

And then you're gonna pick an outfit,

Get yourself dressed into it, okay,

And show us how well you do.

Ready? One, two, three, go!

That's the one you picked. Okay. And which shirt do you want?

Oh, you like the one with--button-down!

Button-down? Okay.

Dominic was very excited about getting dressed.

He successfully buttoned his pants and got himself dressed.

That's it. Look at you.

I'm a big boy.

Whoo-hoo![Jo] I hope that this board will be a constant reminder

To mom and dad that dominic is capable

Of doing much for himself...you got dressed.

And so that they won't baby him as much.

♪♪♪

Yesterday, I taught mom and dad how to do

A proper time out.

Today, I'm gonna get rid of all the unhealthy food

That mom and dad have been enticing their children

To behave better with.i want to take away the bribes.

I want to take away all the stuff that, basically,

You've been giving these kids so that they do listen.

So you know what I'm talking about here, right?[Sylvia] of course.

[Michael] i--you're--i'm talking about that cupboard there.

Right. [Chuckles] I'm not sure if it'll all fit in that bag...[Laughs]

But, uh, it's--well, I don't know. I guess we'll find out.

You can help me then.absolutely.

All right.when jo came in with her bag, I was pretty excited,

Just because we're all fixated on food,

And we have to straighten this out.

[Sylvia] probably just dump the whole thing in there.

All right. I'll just put it all in. I might as well. Okay.

[Jo] dad was very willing to help out,

And dominic was watching from afar,

And all of a sudden he got very upset about it.

No! Those are--those are--

Hold on. No. Sylvia, can you help me with dominic?

Those are cereal bars, but we don't use those for bribes.no. No more. Not this.

It's the candy that...sylvia, dominic's upset.

No, they don't use them for cereal. Dominic.[Crying]

He is not happy, obviously, so let me just talk to him

For a moment. This is an emotional... I know, dominic.

Are you gonna explain to him why?

I'm going to. I don't want him to...

No, but I want the candy!oh, I know, dominic. Come--come with me.

Give him the truth. We're taking this away because--

Give him the real reason why.okay.

Okay. It's because it was used in the wrong way.right.

I know that you like candy. I like candy, too.

But where are they taking them?

Sylvia.they are gonna put it in a big hiding place.

Sylvia! Just be honest.

I am being honest.

You're not. Take accountability for it. Let dominic know why.well, I'm try--

Be honest with him. He deserves the truth.

Well, I just want to let him down easy

And not have him flip out.he--be honest with him, because you're about to do

Things that are gonna make things better.[Sighs]

The only reason why he's upset is because you created this.

I--yes, I agree with you. I'm not disagreeing with you, but--

All right. So you're sitting there stalling

About a conversation, rather than being serious.

I'm not stalling about it. I'm trying to talk to him.you are. No, you're not.

Stop fighting me and listen to what I'm saying.

Okay, right now, in your mind, you want to sit here

And--and mollycoddle how he's feeling emotionally...absolutely. Absolutely.

And I'm saying don't.i felt like mom wasn't really addressing the situation.

I felt like she was pacifying dominic,

And myself and michael were the bad cops,

Because we were taking away the candy.

The way that it's being dealt with, you're making

A mountain out of a molehill, and it's not fair to him.

No, I don't want him to feel att*cked,

So I just want him to calm--let me calm--

He's not gonna be feeling att*cked...

[Chuckles]if you just deal with it.

And so that's why I'm giving him an opportunity to calm also.

Sylvia is making this into a far bigger deal

Than necessary.

I know she gets it. She's just not doing it.

[Sylvia] would you like to come--

Sylvia. Sylvia, come with me right now.[Dominic] no.

Sylvia.[Sylvia] yes. [Sighs]

Coming up on...

I'm here to help you, and I'm here to help your family.

Jo gives mom an ultimatum.

Now you're either gonna let me in and allow me to do it...i--

Or you're gonna send me home.

But will mom stay in the game?

When "supernanny" returns.

♪♪♪

[Jo] mom was still babying dominic...

Well, I just want to let him down easy...he deserves the truth.

And not have him flip out.he--be honest with him, because you're about to do

Things that are gonna make things better.[Sighs]

And I knew she wasn't gonna change her attitude...

Sylvia, come with me right now.

[Dominic] no. No.yes. [Sighs]

And at that point,

I knew that I was gonna have to get real tough with her.

Yes.if you sit there and try and soften the blow for him,

All right, you're making it seem like

This is something that it shouldn't be.

I'm here to help you,

And I'm here to help your family.

Now you're either gonna let me in and allow me to do it...i--

Or you're gonna send me home.

[Voice breaks] no, I'm asking for your help.

Then receive it.

[Sniffles][sylvia] I was embarrassed that jo called me out.

She's like a... A judge, jury, and an executioner

All put together.

Are you gonna let me in or are you gonna ask me to leave?no, please. [Chuckles] i--

Okay. After you then.

[Jo] this is not personal. I'm here to do a job,

And at that moment, I think she realized that

I was here to make sure that the job was done.

If you're confident about what you're saying, okay,

Then what happens is, dominic goes, "oh, okay.

"Well, mom obviously knows what's right,

"And she's doing this because she's trying

To make things better, so I'll follow mommy's lead." Okay?yeah. [Mouths word]

All right. Come on. Get in there. Let's do it.[Chuckles]

Let's do it. Come on. Let's do it.dominic is years old,

And mom needs to start talking to him as such.

I just want to tell you that mommy was wrong

To give you guys too many sweets and candy.

I know I use sweets to make you listen to me,

But now we're gonna try other ways, okay? Gimme five?

All right.[Chuckles]

It was brief. It was to the point. It was perfect.

Message hit home. No more drama.

♪♪♪

[Jo] even though the candy has been removed from the house,

What I want to do is put a system in place

That allows these kids to have their healthy daily snacks.

All right. Three...yeah.

Jars for three young boys,

And the reason why we have these jars--

We put our snacks in our own jar.

Then we're not going into the fridge

Or into the pantry or the cupboards to eat

The food that's in there, but we go to our own jar.

I like the snack jars.

In between breakfast...and lunch?

And lunch, it's good for us to have a snack,

Because otherwise it would be too long for us

To have breakfast and wait for lunchtime,

And we'd start to get hungry,

And then between lunchtime, after lunchtime, and dinnertime,

We have another snack.

[Jo] what we're setting up here is to make sure

That the kids are not grazing throughout the day

And that they are eating healthy snacks.

What I want you to be very conscious of

Is that they should be eating their fruits

And their vegetables daily anyway.

Okay, you guys. Come over here and pick. Which one, vinnie?let's see. Which one?

Mama, I get this one.okay.

I got two.

And now a fruit. Perfect. You did a good job, dominic.

The kids basically had free range on the cupboard,

The refrigerator, especially dominic.

Now that we have these jars,

I think it gives us both the peace of mind knowing that

He's at least on the path to having a more healthy lifestyle,

Eating better and not snacking all the time.

♪♪♪

[Jo] there is no evening routine.

Rather selfishly, mom and dad have been going off to the gym

Instead of realizing the importance of these children

Getting the required sleep that is needed,

And this has got to change.typically what you would do is go off to the gym

In the evening.[Sylvia] yeah.

It means you get back incredibly late,

Which really doesn't serve these kids well

Of getting their rest, their growth, development.

[Jo] so I brought in a board

And helped michael and sylvia set out an evening routine.

So what time do we want them in bed, lights out?

:?yeah.

No. Really? [Chuckles]yeah.

[Jo] quite frankly, mom and dad can go to the gym

During the week in the morning, or on the weekends.

What's most important is that they all come together

As a family on weeknights,

And I also want to make sure that I allocate some good time

For spending time with dad.

I have...fishies!

Fishies... In a bowl.

So next I introduced a very fun way of being able

To get dad and the boys active in the evening.

You're gonna use your imagination

Andthe help of your little fellow men here...[Speaks indistinctly]

To write down some creative ideas

Of what you can do for when you come home,

So they can then fish for those ideas.

Let's put on this one "race cars," okay?

"Race cars."

"Race cars." Okay. Let's put that in the fishbowl.

What idea do you want?bowling.

Bowling? How about campfire, where we--kinda like we--yeah. Campfire!

In the dark.we roast marshmallows? Pretend, right?

Yes.once all the fishes were in the bowl, there was

Just enough time to play one quick game before bedtime.

So now I think what we're gonna do is we're gonna go fishing.

[Dominic] papa, I want green.

Uh... Ohh. Look at that.[Laughs]

Wow. "Campfire" for vinnie. Let's light a fire, okay?

But we have to get some sticks.

Use the space of your house, all right?

Just spark their imagination.

All right, guys. Come on. Whoa. Come on.

Let's get some berries. Come on. Come with me, michael.

Oh, look. There they are. Over there. Right there.

Go get 'em. They're over there. Grab 'em!whee!

I got the lighter, okay? [Imitates lighter and fire]

No.it's hot. Don't touch it, though. It's hot.

No, vincent. Don't touch it. It's hot.

All right. Let's toast the marshmallows up, okay?

[Michael] I think the children were really surprised

By how much fun we could have with imagination and being

By this artificial fire. The kids really got into it.

Come on, vincent. Oh, no. Run from the bears.come on!

[Jo] I think dad's off to an excellent start,

And he just needs to honor that playtime

So that he can bond with the boys,

Because they've so been missing that.[Chuckles]

Run for the fire![Speaks indistinctly]

[Jo] michael and sylvia,

I'm gonna leave for several days.

Homework-- snack jars, evening routine.right.

Dad quality time-- tell me why that's important.for me to bond with my boys.

Out in public without the candy. Come on. Listen. All right?yeah.

I'm worried that sylvia may not have

The time and patience to really follow through with discipline.michael.

Thank you.okay. Quality time, okay? Quality time.

Absolutely.[Jo] working with the federicos has been tough,

I can tell you that much, and leaving for several days,

I just don't know what I'm gonna see when I get back.

[Michael and sylvia] thank you.

Bye-bye.i just hope that mom and dad stick

With what they've been taught, because, I tell you,

If they don't, I'm coming back to a right mess.

Coming up on...

Old habits die hard.

Did you sneak one?no.

Stay in the time out, please. Thank you.no. No.

Yes, you need...and mom goes bust with discipline.

That wasn't a correct time out. You made your own rules up.

When "supernanny" returns.

♪♪♪

[Jo] when I first started working with the federicos,

I was absolutely shocked with the way that they were babying

Their year old.

Finish your peas. Here.mommy.

And then on top of it all, bribing their kids to behave.michael, come with me.

Gotta go with mama. Hey. Look. No, you gotta go with them.

Listen, if I give you a piece of candy, will you come with me

Hi.[Jo] now that I've been gone for a few days...

Hi.[Jo] it's just fingers crossed

That mom and dad haven't gone back to their old ways.

How confident are we feeling watching this?i feel okay.

I hope that we're going to be happy with what we see,

And hopefully jo will be happy with us.

Let's take a look at dominic's achievement, all right?

Okay. Wow.[Laughs]

What a nice job. Comb it the way mama does it.

Brush.[Whirring]

Look. You brushed your hair. Right here.

And you just brushed your teeth.

[Dominic] "brush my teeth."

And you also just got dressed.

Gimme five. You're a good boy.here you go.

Okay, so it is fantastic to see him actually doing more

For himself.well, he's picked up the ball. I mean, he takes the initiative.

I'm really pleased that he is doing that,

Because we're just gonna see more and more from dominic,

Which is really promising. Let's move on to out in public.

[Speaks indistinctly]hey, you guys are doing a good job by holding papa's hand.

You guys are being so good, we get to look around today.

You guys switch.see if you guys are gonna listen to me. All right.

You guys gonna hold my hand?yay!

Yay! You guys are holding mama's hand and everything.

My shoe.get your shoe back on.

[Sylvia] hi! [Laughs][rips velcro]

Here you go. Stay here, michael.

Oh. There you go.

Hey! What happened with the escape?

You were lucky there obviously

That, um, you know, there was no traffic,

But the reality is, is that when that happened,

What you should've done is actually just straightaway spoke

To him about that, so that it's fresh in his mind, and he knows

That when you say "stay" that he's to literally do that.

What I did notice, which was lovely,

Is that actually you swapped around with the kids,

So you worked really well as a team there

And there was lots of praise, sylvia,

Which we need in abundance, so I'm really happy to see that,

Because that really made a difference with the boys.

Okay, so let's move on to quality time.

Do you guys want to do fishing?yeah.

Okay. I got something.

"Bowling," it says.bowling!

Here.

[Imitates bowling pins clattering]

Oh, you got eight.yeah! Eight!

Bowl it.boom!

[Imitates bowling pins clattering]

Wow, that was a good one. [Laughs]

Ohh. Whoa. How many did you get? Seven?i got it!

Boom! Oh, no. Michael did it.

No, you did it. You got three of 'em.

Oh. Oh. No, no! Vincent knocked 'em--oh, no.

They all got knocked over. We gotta set 'em up again.[Laughs]

I have to say, michael, I look at the kids and their faces

Speak a thousand words, so I hope you're actually

Very proud of what you've achieved there,

And everybody benefits from that. Everybody.it seems to be working out.

Yeah, they like the fishbowl. [Laughs]

They talk about it all day.

All right. Let's move on to snacks.

I think it's time for a snack, so look in your jar,

See what you picked out, and take it. That's your snack.

Lovely.

Did you sneak one?no.

I hope not.

Oh, my goodness.we already know going in

That actually dominic is sneaky with food,

And what we don't want is that habit to increase.

We want it actually to go, so we've gotta take it as read

That if our backs are turned

That we know he's gonna try and sneak food.

We stop that by being able to recognize that

It's a given he'll do that.yeah.

So turn around in the beginning and say, you know,

"No taking out of the bowl, but what I'll do is, you know,

I'll leave you the spoon afterwards." But you just

Make sure that it's minimum, you know. Does that make sense?[Michael and sylvia] yes.

Okay. Mom, discipline.

You need to put your dinosaurs away,

Or I'm putting you in time out, and that's it.no time out!

Then put your dinosaurs away.

Do you see what happened there?yes.

So are you talking to his eyes or the back of his head?right.

As soon as he goes to walk away, you're, like, "back here."

He just dropped it.

[Sylvia] okay, thank you for telling me

That michael is not putting away the dinosaurs. Thank you.

Stay in the time out, please. Thank you. You need--no. No! No!

Yes, you need to listen to me, and that's it. Not no.[Screams]

[Crying]i don't want to, either, but you're not listening to me.

I don't wanna! No! I won't listen to you.get back in there.

You need to stand here. I'm starting--no!

Yeah. Sorry.[Buzzes and clicks]

You got a time out because you didn't listen to me. Say sorry.

"Sorry, mama..."I'm sorry, mama.

"For not listening..."Not!

"And not helping."No.

Give me a kiss.

That wasn't a correct time out, was it?probably not.

He said, "I don't want to do time out," and you said...

"I don't want to, either." Right.

Unh-unh. No, you do want to. You do want to do it...okay.

Because he didn't listen to you. You made your own rules up.

If we don't get the discipline right and we don't get

Those steps underneath your belt, you'll end up

Back in square one by the time I've even left this door.

So not through the woods yet,

But certainly on our way, right? Certainly on our way.mm-hmm.

Coming up on...

I have a quiz for mom and dad.

Will jo get the answers she's looking for?

What are the steps of time out?

No! Mnh!and can mom finally get it together?

Well, you need to look at me.[Jo] drop a warning.

You're going to go into time out right now.

When "supernanny" returns.

♪♪♪

Mom's discipline is still a little bit on shaky ground,

And, well, let's face it, dad really hasn't done it,

Because he's been at work. A refresher? Mm.

I think that's needed.so I have here...

Uh-oh.a quiz for mom and dad.

So I'm gonna ask you guys to come into the next room,

Because I want to see exactly how much you've learnt

Whilst I've been here.

We are going to start with discipline.

What are the steps of time out?[Dings]

One, warning with an explanation and eye contact.

Two, the time out.

Three, the explanation again as to why he's been

In a time out, and then hugs and kisses.

Okay, this one goes, of course, to sylvia.

How many warnings do you give before you put your child

In time out?[Ding]

Oh.sylvia!

One.yes! Okay.

[Michael chuckles]it was fun playing a round of game show with my husband.

I knew most of the stuff.how many times a day do you fill the snack jars?

[Ding]once.

Once. Correct, michael. When are snack times?

[Ding]sylvia.

: And :.well done. All right.

We are having a tie here at present.

And the last question--

What is more important to your children--

Toys or your time?

[Ding]michael.

Our time.

Okay. And we have a winner here--michael federico!

[Cheering][jo] the quiz was a lot of fun, and it did demonstrate

That actually mom and dad have learnt a lot.

They just need to follow through.

One of the biggest achievements that the federicos have tackled

Has been their relationship with food,

And we really just need to keep this family on that path

By making sure that the kids have very active lifestyles.

What I've done is given you some examples

That allow us to be active with our kids,

So that they can be very physical

And they can be out there moving.

When jo brought in the activity clock,

That's when I kinda realized that I'm being a little selfish

With the kids, 'cause we went and worked out all the time,

But then we might not have done as much with them.

And as you can see,

Jungle gym, just going to the park, soccer,

Swimming, ice-skating, pick up sticks,

Riding bikes, hula-hoop,

And hopscotch and tennis, okay?

[Sylvia] ooh.so use these as examples,

And what I thought we'd do is pick up sticks.

Okay, they're gonna have to go to the furthest stick.

You have to pick up the sticks.

I wanna put 'em down. Hang on. Stop, stop.i want to pick 'em!

You put one down right there, please.

[Jo] but as mom was trying to get the game on the way,

Michael was becoming disruptive.[Fusses]

Michael, you need to give me those sticks.drop a warning.

I am giving you a warning. You need to--

Eye contact. Eye contact, sylvia.

Michael, you need to look at me. You need to listen to me, or--[speaks indistinctly]

And look at me,

Because you're gonna go into time out right now.[Cries]

Did you hear me?uh-huh.

You need to listen and be good. Thank you.all right. Nice, mom.

All right. Stand up.okay, well done, sylvia.

Okay.

I was really impressed, because mom's tone was perfect.

For the first time, she gave a proper warning.

Ready? Go!

[Michael] oh, yeah.

[Sylvia] furthest one![Jo] the furthest one!

Thank you. One at a time. Bring it back! Bring it back![Laughs]

Go! Go, dominic! Go! Pick the next one! The furthest one!

Go! Don't wait! It's a race!

One at a time.

Okay, run back![Sylvia] it was very fun to watch the boys race

And do the pick up sticks activity.

Yay! Dominic won! That's awesome! Whoo![Claps hands]

[Jo] I'm off now. I'm going home.

[Sylvia] she's leaving.

I'm going home. Can I give you a hug and say good-bye? Mwah.

Bye, jo jo.

You know what?

I'm really proud of that can-do--that can-do list.

Thanks, jo jo. You're great.

Let me give you a kiss, you. Let me get a kiss. Mwah.say bye-bye, vincent.

Well, seeing jo leave was bittersweet.

Take care and remember, don't sabotage nothing, okay?

Thank you. Thank you. [Laughs]

Work on it, all right? You deserve that.

I feel like I've been liberated and a burden's been lifted.

[Michael] I'm very grateful to jo,

And--and I'm glad she was part of our lives

And just basically made us a complete family.take care of your family.

Thank you. We will.bye-bye.

My journey with the federicos has certainly been a tough one,

And I was met with a lot of resistance.

They had issues that they needed to address,

And when they got serious about it,

They knuckled down and they did the work that they needed to do,

And because of that,

They're all going to lead

Much healthier lives.