03x03 - Arilotta Family

[bunniefuu]

NARRATOR: They're every
parent's worst nightmare--

Don't bite.

You're going to be sorry.

NARRATOR: Kids completely
out of control--

Give me the Kn*fe.

I want to k*ll you.

NARRATOR: And taking
over the household.

I'm the boss.

Don't do that.

NARRATOR: These families have
reached the end of their rope.

How was I supposed to
know I was going to have

three kids in two years?

NARRATOR: They're in
desperate need of help.

Shut up, everyone!

NARRATOR: They only have
one alternative left.

It's time to contact Nanny 911.

[phone ringing]

Hello?

This is Nanny 911.

We've gathered a team
of world class nannies

from all over the globe.

Each week, from Nanny
Central, they will watch

a video of a family in crisis--

NARRATOR: And decide which
nanny is best suited to help.

They will then have one week to
take our families from living

hell to a family bliss.

Give me my life back.

It's mine.

NARRATOR: Can these
families be saved?

I hate Daddy and Mommy.

It's an emotional
roller coaster.

Unless you get
this right, it's

all going to fall to pieces.

If you think you can do a
better job, get on with it.

NARRATOR: Parents of
America, help is on the way.

Nanny's here.

Nanny's here.

NARRATOR: Tonight,
the Arilotta triplets

are duking it out with Mom and
Dad for control of the house.

Triple trouble!

NARRATOR: Dad likes to play
rough with the boys and wonders

where they learn
such bad habits.

We let them get
away with everything.

NARRATOR: The family
stress is gnawing away

at Mom as the triplets
score a hat trick.

Stop it.

NARRATOR: Punching
her, throwing things,

and slapping her at will.

I'm going to end
up in the psych ward.

NARRATOR: Mom and
Dad need to get

a grip before these
triple terrors take over.

These children are
not happy overall.

NARRATOR: Can Nanny Deb turn the
Arilotta triplets from My Three

Stooges to My Three Sons?

It's a wake up call.

NARRATOR: Tonight on Nanny 911.

[theme music]

[screaming]

Ow.

Don't.

My name is Kammy Arilotta.

I'm an account manager for
a construction company,

and I'm a director with
Mary Kay cosmetics.

In a minute,
Mommy's working, OK?

My triplet boys are monsters.

My name is Chris Arilotta.

I'm from Rochester, New York.

I married a hot mommy Kammy.

I'm a garbage man.

People say, well, we
have three boys too.

It's not the same.

It's just chaos.

How come every time Daddy
talks to you, you have to hit?

KAMMY: Justin is the
All-American boy.

That's over the fence.

He's going to be in anger
management at five years old.

With Justin, I'm concerned about
the hitting and the punching

and the kicking and the biting.

I encourage the
rough play with Justin.

I don't want to take
Justin's toughness away

because that's who he is.

He is, by far, the
most aggressive,

and the other two fear him.

I think that's why your brothers
don't want to play with you.

Do you know why?

Why?

KAMMY: Christopher
is a comedian.

Everything is funny
to Christopher.

Christopher John.

You yell at him, he laughs.

Hey.

I get very frustrated
with Christopher.

He is the one that I have
the problems with the most.

I'll slap you.

CHRIS: Come on, hit the ball.

KAMMY: Tyler is a mama's boy.

He's more or less the good son.

I love you, Mommy.

I love you, too, Tyler.

Tyler is the whiner, and
he comes crying to us a lot.

He hurt me.

It was an accident.

Go play.

[crying]

The wind blows the wrong
way, he comes crying to us,

but I always wanted
to toughen him up.

Don't be afraid of them.

Chris and I are very different
when it comes to discipline.

Oh, look, Christopher, why
do you keep hitting people?

Do you see blood?
KAMMY: No.

Then leave them be.

I think Kammy's too soft.

She runs to them
every time they fall

down with a little boo boo.

There's no blood, no?

Then leave them alone.

I don't want wuss boys.

That doesn't hurt.

You're not hurt.

Having multiples is
just more stressful,

and I'm going to end
up in the psych ward.

I really am.

I will be in the R wing.

Time out.

I scream and I holler,
and I know that's not right.

No, you're not.

You're going to think about it.

You're going to think about it.

Time out.

Time out.

Sit there.

Christopher John.

[laughing]

That doesn't work.

Oh my god.

If they say a bad word, I
put hot sauce on their tongue.

You want me to put
hot sauce in there?

We've tried so many different
things that you're at the point

now, you know what?

I'll bite you back.

Kam, you're not listening.

I am listening.

You just-- never mind.

It has hurt our relationship.

We're growing farther
apart because we

can't even talk about our days.

A simple sentence
gets interrupted.

How was work today?

Work was good.

How was work for you?

Christopher, stop.

I get home, and
it's like, you guys,

I've only been home an hour,
and I want to go back to work.

[crying]

Want me to go back to work?

Kammy will not sit
with us during dinner.

I don't like that too much.

I wish we could sit
down as a family.

Mom.
Mom.

Mom.
Mom.

Mom.
- Mommy.

Mommy.
Mommy.

Mommy.
Mommy.

I just block them out.

Mom, come on.

- Mom?
- Mom?

- Mom?
- Mom.

Mom.

I don't know what to do.

They didn't come with a
very good owner's manual.

I don't know what to do.

Now, stop.

Slowly, I'm sinking.

Oh.

Ow.

I don't enjoy it.

I don't enjoy anything.

You what?

The stress level's at 10.

You want me to
find you a ride?

No, you don't want a mommy?

No.

OK, then, I'm not
your mommy anymore.

I'm trying to talk to you.

It's really hard.

We need help.
Tyler.

Christopher.

CHRIS: Justin, stop.

We just don't know how
to deal with it anymore.

You're going to
think about it.

I'm going to k*ll you.

You're going to
think about it.

Put hot sauce in there?

I'll slap you.

Well, ladies,
what do you think?

Triplet boys, Lillian?

Maybe we should all go.

This bunch is much too
rough with each other.

Mom is such a sourpuss.

She really needs our help.

Oh, yeah.

Dad's a garbage man.

He needs help cleaning
up his family's act.

We certainly cannot allow
that poppycock to continue.

Deb, because you have
such an infectious smile,

you are the one to get this
family straightened out.

NANNY DEB: I'm Nanny Deb
from Holyhead, North Wales,

and I've been a
nanny for 23 years.

[screaming]

You don't get no baby.

NANNY DEB: I've been called
to Rochester, New York

to teach the Arilotta family
how to work as a team.

Don't bite me.

NANNY DEB: With Dad acting
more like one of the boys

than a father, and Mom
losing all sense of control,

I've got my work cut out for me.

The Arilotta family needs
to make a lot of changes.

Let's see if they're
up for the challenge.

- Hi.
- Hi.

I'm Kammy.
- Hi, Kammy.

I'm Nanny Deb.
Nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you.

Come on in.

I heard the
doorbell, it was just

like, oh, a sign of relief.

Help's arrived.

Where is everyone?

Oh, they're all upstairs.

Hey, guys?

- Hi.
- How are you?

Nice to meet you.

I'm Nanny Deb.

There was Nanny Deb,
and I said, uh-oh.

Today, what I'm going to do
is I'm going to watch everybody,

and how they
normally act, and you

just carry on doing the things
you normally do every day.

And you're going to see me
walking around writing things

down, and that's going to
help me come up with a plan

that's going to work
for your family.

I just wanted her to
start helping us right away.

Thank you very much.

Thank you.

As the day begins,
Dad heads off to take

out the trash literally.

All right.

I'll be back in a
little while, OK?

I work for the city.

I pick up refuse.

I just got to get my coffee.

I'll be right back.

Since the triplets,
both of us have to work.

It's just really hard.

NANNY DEB: Dad is
off to clean up

the town, leaving Mom at home
with the real dirty work.

Stop.

Stop.

Justin, wait.

You got something-- whoa.

It's very stressful
to be able to juggle

everything and be a wife and a
mother and do my daily duties.

Hey.
Hey.

Mommy.

You don't hit
people with toys.

Where are you going?

KAMMY: Excuse me?

NANNY DEB: Right off, I see
that Mom talks at these kids not

to them.
- Open the door.

Get off the door.

Justin Thomas.

NANNY DEB: It's clear she has
no patience for her children.

Justin, tell Christopher
you're sorry for hitting him.

Stop.

Do you want me to
find you a ride?

NANNY DEB: Mom is
definitely miserable,

and that is making
her children unhappy.

Mommy?

OK, I'm coming.

Christopher, leave him alone.

Leave him alone.

He doesn't want you up there.

Tyler, use your words.

I'm really not enjoying
being a parent.

It isn't the beautiful life
that I had dreamed to have.

NANNY DEB: And when
she's not whining,

she's grabbing her kids
and that is unacceptable.

Keep your hands
off of his car.

Leave him alone.

OK, one push, and then
I'm going to sit down.

NANNY DEB: It became
obvious that Mom

sees herself as a victim.

I have to run around, and I
do this, and all I do is this.

And a five-year-old
doesn't need to hear that.

It's a very negative environment
for these children to be in.

I'll be over here.

I'm going in time out for two.

NANNY DEB: Later,
Dad returns from work

for some wining and dining.

Hi, guys.

Give me the ball.

You can play with it outside.

Give it to me.

When I get out of
work, I'm exhausted

and Kammy is out of control.

Give me the ball.

Where's Mommy's chair?

Mommy doesn't eat.

Mommy picks.

It's very odd.

There are five
members of this family

and only four
chairs at the table?

You do the math.

Dinnertime and lunchtime have
always been very stressful.

No, I didn't.

As soon as I would sit
down, one of the boys

would want something,
and I'd have to get up.

I just get tired of cleaning
up after you guys too.

NANNY DEB: After Mom reluctantly
joins her family at the table,

the shenanigans begin.

You're going to choke.

Cover your mouth.

NANNY DEB: It was chaos.

Everyone was getting up to
leave before the meal was over.

Christopher wouldn't eat,
and Dad hardly said a word.

There's a lot of
fighting at the table.

Just, I like a quiet table, and
I like talking about the day.

You need to go
finish that sandwich.

You asked for another
sandwich, you're finishing it.

That never happens.

Get over here.

NANNY DEB: Lunchtime
ends with Kammy dragging

Christopher back to the table.

The chaos never ends.

You're going to eat
every bit of that sandwich.

If you yell at him,
he laughs at you.

I can't deal with it.

Sit down.

No.

I'm not laughing, and I
don't think you're being funny.

Why are you acting this way?

NANNY DEB: He's doing
it to get attention,

and he's always laughing.

In reality, he laughs to
cover up his feelings.

He laughs to hide the fact that
he's not necessarily happy.

Was that a typical
lunchtime experience?

Hm-hmm.

For me.

Oh, dear.

It's halfway through the day,
and Mom's off to sell makeup,

leaving Dad at home to
clown around with the kids.

Come here.

I definitely
encourage wrestling.

I want them to be tough guys.

No.

NANNY DEB: I'm usually not
shocked by rough housing,

but this rough
housing was extreme.

Christopher and Justin
will go off and play rough

and Tyler gets left out a lot.

Well, Tyler is the whiner.

If one of his brothers
brush up against him,

he comes crying to
Mommy and Daddy.

NANNY DEB: The
attention gets given

in this household to
the loudest ones, not

the ones that need it the most.

Oh, that hurt, Justin.

NANNY DEB: When Mom
finally returns,

she walks into a
testosterone fueled frenzy.

It's like, Mom, please
hurry home from work.

When I come home, I
need my wind down time.

Christopher, can
you please stop?

And I'm like, oh, my god, I
should have stayed at work.

NANNY DEB: With
Mom home, Dad makes

a feeble attempt at discipline
with young Christopher.

Christopher, if you
don't get off the table,

you're going to go
up to your room.

Christopher, please get down.

CHRIS: You need to go upstairs.

NANNY DEB: But Christopher
just thinks it's another game.

You need to sit in your room--

I'm gonna get a baby book.

No, in your room.

Hello?

Tell Daddy I want to get out.

What?

I'm done.

You don't seem
like you're done.

Christopher, please don't leave?

Are you ready?

Are you ready to behave?

Yeah.

NANNY DEB: It's clear
that Christopher has

no respect for Dad's authority.

OK, I'm done.

Oh, that went great.

NANNY DEB: It's been a
long day, and now it's

time to sit these parents down.

I hope they're ready for
what I've got to tell them.

Obviously, you
called for a reason.

When Nanny Deb sat us
down, I felt defensive.

Squatted down in my
chair a little bit.

And there obviously are
some issues I've seen.

I was just so worried that
I was going to get yelled at.

The biggest ones that I find
are the lack of discipline

and the lack of respect.

Where are you going?

Your children aren't being
taught anything at this point.

They need you to
be their parent.

Nobody can sit there and give
us advice without knowing what

it's like to have multiples.

Chris, your children
think of you as a playmate.

You can't have your
five-year-old be your buddy.

It doesn't work.

I felt like a
little kid in school

getting scolded by the teacher.

They're being nagged.

Justin, tell Christopher
you're sorry for hitting him.

You've lost your way of
what to do and how to do it,

and you're also
losing your mind.

Oh my god.

I feel very
frustrated right now.

I don't feel good about myself.

My biggest concern, and it
is a really serious concern,

is that these children
are not happy.

It was very devastating
to me and my husband

to know that they're not happy.

They're not genuinely
joyful, happy children.

That was a bad moment for me.

You think you're doing a
good job with your kids.

It hurt.

Christopher uses
humor to cover up a lot,

and Tyler doesn't feel
free to be who he is.

You're not parenting
your children.

You're going through the day
trying to survive the day.

And that's sad.

It's sad for you.

I'm sorry.

But it's sadder, Kammy,
for the children, OK?

Because they know that.

They know that you're trying
to get through the day.

I know.

It was just really
heartbreaking for me.

It hurts me a lot.

I'm going to really work hard
on coming up with a plan that's

going to work for this family,
but I really need your support.

OK?

OK.

Good night.

Good night.

I know Nanny's
here to help us,

but it's just I hope that
I'll be big enough to listen.

NANNY DEB: After a
day of observation,

the problems in the
Arilotta house are clear.

The parents constant stress
is affecting the happiness

of their three sons.

Justin, right here.

So today, I'm giving the
family their own set of rules.

Ready for the rules?

I was very nervous.

I think Kammy will had
more problems than I will.

I was open to anything
that she could give us.

The first rule is
tough doesn't mean rough.

You can be tough, but you
don't be rough with each other.

When I saw the rule,
be tough, not rough.

I knew it was for me.

You want me?

Yeah, I want some.

NANNY DEB: That means
no hitting, no biting.

Don't bite me.

I think that's a great rule.

Another one is
dinnertime is family time.

Dinnertime is family time.

That is Kammy's rule.

Where's Mommy's chair?

Mommy doesn't eat.

I'm too stressed out to eat,
and I can't enjoy a meal.

If I can't enjoy it,
I don't want to eat.

And the last rule is
don't act out of anger.

You're going to eat
every bit of that sandwich.

Leave him alone.

We lose our patience with them.

I've spanked their
butts plenty of times.

OK.

So those are your
new family rules.

Along with the rules, I
wanted to teach the boys

what it means to be brothers.

OK, so I'm going to close
my book and put it here.

I'd like you three
to come over here

because I have something special
to talk to you guys about.

How many brothers
are in this family?

Three.

OK.

Do you know a shape
that has three sides?

Triangle.

OK.

Can you make a triangle
with your fingers?

Push your fingers together.

Oh, is it strong?

Three brothers working
together and you'll

be strong like a triangle.

But take one side away, oops,
it's not very strong, right?

They just-- they loved that.

When you're good, when you're
well behaved, when you listen,

are going to earn a triangle.

And when you each
have five triangles,

Daddy gets to take you
to the Dollar Store.

Come on.

Those things will be in
the garbage within a week.

You see this?

This is called a chore chart.

And every time you do your
chore, you get a triangle.

When Nanny Deb pulled out the
board with the chores on it,

I was questionable.

We tried the reward thing,
and it just never worked.

Dad's looking
a little nervous.

OK.

We'll see.

NANNY DEB: Having set
down the new family rules,

I decided we should get
right to work and begin

helping Mom with the chores.

Triangles are working.

Here you go.

Thank you very much, sir.

Good job.

Are you doing your chore
now, taking out the trash?

Oh my gosh, there he goes.

Dun dun dun.

Triangles are stronger.

The three boys were making
triple time with the chores,

and Mom and Dad could see
the proof was in the pudding.

Good job, Tyler.

The chore board is great.

The boys feel like
they're helping me,

and they are helping me.

NANNY DEB: But just when
things are looking up,

Christopher starts acting out.

Be nice with Sonny
because Sonny's old.

Christopher was playing with
his dart g*n, and I told him,

you don't hit anybody with
the g*n, especially the dog.

No.

Christopher.

And he walked up, and he hit
the dog, and I grabbed the g*n.

You're going to go spend
time out for a little bit.

I told you, Sonny was old.

No, you're going to sit
where I tell you to sit.

NANNY DEB: Once again,
Dad demonstrates

his unique time out skills.

We don't treat
our pet like that.

Duh.

OK, that could hurt him.

Duh.

Dog.

OK.

You're going to sit
there for five minutes.

NANNY DEB: It starts off
poorly and only gets worse.

Dad still cannot
make the transition

from playmate to parent.

I have no patience at all.

Come here.

When you have to
discipline, when you have

to put your child in
time out, you can't

do it if they're your friend.

That's why the buddy
system doesn't work.

I couldn't believe it.

After only two minutes, Dad
comes back for his playmate.

You're not going
to do it again?

He should have been in
there for five minutes.

He's five years old.

Dad needed a talking
to at this point.

That was two minutes.

It wasn't five minutes.

I need a timer.

Yeah, well, you
have a microwave.

Just turn the microwave on.

OK.

Why did you let him go though?

I usually do that for myself.

Yeah, see it's for yourself.

You can't because it's not
teaching them anything.

They have to learn
to stay there,

to think about
what they've done.

It's setting a distance
between them and the behavior

that they were doing,
and between them and you.

You being his buddy,
I knew he was going

to give you a hard time
because he didn't believe

you would follow through.

I'm more of a friend
than a father to the boys,

but I don't think there's
anything wrong with that.

So next time.

OK.

- Five, not two.
- OK.

OK?

Later in the day, Mom is
home alone with the kids

and Christopher goes
on the rampage again.

Why would you do that?

For some reason, Christopher
just took the ball

and he whacked me
in the head with it,

and I wasn't expecting it.

And it really hurt me.

I want to know why
you did that to me.

- Because.
- No.

Come here.

Christopher pushes
my buttons a lot.

Christopher?

He runs away from me,
and I just grab him.

If you don't-- come here.

I am talking to you.

I want to know why you hit me.

You didn't ask me to
read a book with you.

No.

NANNY DEB: I was
disturbed by the way

that Kammy was
handling Christopher.

Mommy was getting
dinner ready.

NANNY DEB: Kammy's first
instinct is to grab

and that really sort of puts
the hairs up on my neck.

It shouldn't be like that.

You need to talk to me,
because I need to know

why you keep hurting me.

Because.

NANNY DEB: So I decided
it was time to step in.

All right, don't grab
him too hard physically.

Take your hand away, Kammy.

We're going to trust
that Christopher

is going to do as he's told
and stay where you put him.

I want you to take a few
deep breaths right now.

We're not going to be accusing.

We're going to change
the tone of voice.

When I was trying to teach Kammy
how to talk to Christopher,

I could feel her
defense mechanism go up.

Because the more you grab
at him, it's disrespectful.

OK?

When you sort of grab,
he's going to pull away.

You wouldn't like it if I came
and started grabbing your body.

It doesn't feel good.

She grabbed me the way that
I would grab Christopher,

and I didn't like it.

NANNY DEB: I just
wanted to touch

base and make sure that Mom
heard what I was saying.

You act out of anger.

Like, you got frustrated.

You didn't ask me to
read a book with you.

Oh my god.

You have to
change and you have

to be conscious all the time.

I can't believe
that I was doing that,

but that was my way
of controlling him,

and that wasn't the
way to control him.

And I never knew that.

You have to be conscious
all the time of changing it.

So you can't lose hope.

I've given Kammy a
lot to think about,

but now it's time to focus
on Dad's roughhousing.

And more importantly, his
relationship with Tyler.

I've always wanted
boys because I've

been very much into sports, and
I want them to be tough guys.

I definitely don't want
to raise any wussy boys.

NANNY DEB: Within
minutes, Dad has

the boys whipped into a frenzy.

KAMMY: They're
hitting in the head.

CHRIS: Mommy, that's
the name of the game.

Not in the head.

CHRIS: Well, the
sticks are flying.

They got to toughen them up.

Let them be.

They're boys.

It's called rough play.

Do you see blood?

KAMMY: No.

Then leave them be.

You want little wuss boys?

Ow.

NANNY DEB: These
children need parents.

They need someone to teach
them and to prepare them.

They don't need friends.

The v*olence quickly
escalates out of control

and Tyler quietly slips away.

You have to do it to him.

Tyler's a sensitive boy.

If the wind blows the wrong
way, he comes crying to us.

That's how he gets
his attention.

NANNY DEB: Since no one was
paying attention to Tyler,

I thought I'd find him and have
a chat about the rough play

in his family.

I love it when you smile.

You have a beautiful smile.

Do you like to spend
time with Daddy?

Do you like to play with Daddy
or is that too rough for you?

You like Daddy to play
something that's more gentle?

Yeah.

The interesting thing
to me is that Tyler is

very much like his dad Chris.

They're both quieter, they're
both actually sensitive.

I don't think Chris can see
himself as much in Tyler,

or if he does, he
sees a side of himself

that he's not comfortable with.

Well, maybe we'll
have a talk to Daddy

later and ask him if you
guys could play stuff more

gentle because it would
be nice for you to spend

time with Daddy, wouldn't it?

NANNY DEB: I found it
touching that Tyler

was so honest and thoughtful
about his feelings.

I knew then that
I had to confront

Dad right away about his
relationship with Tyler.

I spoke to Tyler and
I asked him about

if he liked to play
with Daddy, and he said

he liked to play with Mommy.

And then he started
talking about how you

play rough with the other two.

And I said if Daddy
played gently with you,

would you like to
play with Daddy?

And he said yes.

Tyler is a sensitive
boy, but I always wanted

to try to toughen him up.

I don't have that bond with him.

The child that you see as
being like distant and aloof

and away from you and not having
that close relationship with

is the child that's most
like you in the ways

that you're not
comfortable with yourself.

When Dad realized
that the problems

he was having with
Tyler were because Tyler

was most like himself, I
think a light bulb went off.

He loves you and he respects
you and he looks up to you,

but he doesn't know
how to relate to you.

As soon as Nanny Deb told
me that I knew it was true,

and that was rough.

I don't have to
wrestle with Tyler.

I can play different things
with him because he's

a different person.

And I think when
you connect with him,

it's going to really
be a transforming thing

for both of you.

I can't wait.

Now that Dad has
realized the situation,

it's his job now to
spend some quality

one on one time with Tyler.

And to my delight,
the very next morning,

Dad decided to take
Tyler out alone.

See, that's what
I'm talking about.

When it was time for Tyler
and I to go to the park,

I put him in the car,
and he was all excited.

And I was getting
in the car to leave

and Justin came running
out and he exploded.

And I need to spend
time with him.

And when it's your time,
I'll spend time with you.

Daddy, I don't want you to go.

I have to go now, OK?

I have to go now.

It really hurt when Justin
was screaming and crying.

I was torn.

I knew what I was doing
with Tyler was right,

and we really needed that.

But on the other hand,
it hurt because I

hate seeing Justin cry.

I feel like I'm about
to cr*ck right now.

NANNY DEB: It's not fair that
Justin gets all the attention

by throwing a tantrum.

I know it's hard, Chris.

I know it's hard, but
it's not fair to him.

OK.

Come here.

He was screaming.
No, Daddy.

No, Daddy.
I want to go.

Don't go.
I hate you.

Stop.

I wanted to get out
of the car and pick

up Justin and talk to him.

You need to say
I'm sorry you're sad.

Give him a hug and leave.

Wave goodbye.

Bye, Daddy.

Daddy loves you.

Daddy knows you love him.
Grab him quick.

The car is going to move.

It hurt, but she was right.

I had to let him know this
is the way it's got to be.

OK, good job.

I'll see you when I get back.

Bye, Christopher.

You want to go get your--

I'll be right back.

I'll be back in a little while.

You're angry with Mommy,
but it's not OK to hit her.

You're angry that Daddy left.

You're angry, but it's
not OK to hit Mommy.

Come on.

Let's go in the house.
No.

We're going in the house.

Come on.

NANNY DEB: I know that right
now this is tough for Justin,

but this is the
only way he's going

to learn that he has to
share his father's attention.

Dad is really on the
right track right now,

but Mom still has
a long way to go.

If Kammy is ever going
to succeed as a mother,

she needs to control her
anger and stop the pity party.

Color by yourself
for a little bit.

What?

Sh.

It's very stressful for me to
be able to juggle everything.

They don't understand.

Mommy's exhausted.

Mommy worked hard today.

NANNY DEB: Even though Kammy
is now making an effort

to spend time with
the boys, she does

it so begrudgingly it's almost
as if she's doing them a favor.

The result is--

All of a sudden,
out of the blue,

Christopher threw
a crayon at me.

Christopher, that's not--

We don't spit.

Go on.

Upstairs.

Now you're in timeout.

I didn't interfere straight
away because I wanted

to see how Kammy would react.

You sit there.

You got five minutes.

NANNY DEB: Christopher, he
would do all kinds of things

to get Kammy to pay
attention with him,

and the more he did it, the
more irritated she became.

Coming down.

Oh my god.

Why does he do this to me?

NANNY DEB: Kammy is not taking
the responsibility of how she's

feeling or what
she's going through

and putting it on her children.

Christopher, you're going
to send me to the R wing.

Get in your room.

You know what?

Now you have no
triangles for the day.

No, you lost everything.

You lost your triangle.

NANNY DEB: Now, Kammy has taken
the successful reward system

and turned it into a punishment.

Talk about two steps back.

I could see that Kammy
was getting angrier

and Christopher was
getting angrier as well.

Get up there.

NANNY DEB: She was grabbing
him, yelling at him.

Not on the stairs, because
you keep coming down.

Come on.

You need to finish
your time out.

Sit right here.

Do you know why I put you in--

He slapped me across the face.

My anxiety level, oh my god.

I thought my chest
was going to close in.

Sit down, please?

I'm really not enjoying
being a parent at this time.

The hell with it.

NANNY DEB: Kammy is on the edge.

If I don't intervene now, this
situation may never change.

I had to step in.

There's still a lot of work
that needs to get done.

I'm not leaving till it's fixed.

I have to have a talk with
you about this whole dynamic

with these boys.

There's a part of you that
finds it very difficult

to be with them that much, that
almost resents it in a way,

because it does take away
so much of your life.

That's what our life's
been for the last five years.

We've never really enjoyed it.

But I did the best that I could.

They are not responsible
for your feelings.

We are only responsible
for our own feelings.

You were not
expecting to suddenly

be thrown with triplets.

This isn't a life
necessarily that you

carved out for yourself.

It isn't.

It isn't and I know that
and I understand it.

But you know what?

This is the life
that you were given.

Mom is at the breaking
point, and I'm

really worried that she doesn't
have the strength to take

in what I'm telling her.

You were not
expecting to suddenly

be thrown with triplets.

This isn't a life
necessarily that you

carved out for yourself.

It isn't.

It isn't and I know that,
and I understand it.

But you know what?

This is the life
that you were given.

Something that's incredibly
difficult for a parent to do

is to change what I call
the voice in your head.

Because the way
Kammy had parented

these boys was through guilt.

This whole dynamic with
Christopher, when you're home,

you're not happy.

A lot of times with
these boys, you talk

about what your sacrifice is.

Mommy's tired.

Mommy's had to work a lot.

Mommy has to work to
buy you nice things.

And it always goes
back to you, and it's

called the Martyr Mom Syndrome.

And the reason it's a very
sensitive subject for me

is that I grew up
in that household,

and it makes you feel
guilty and responsible.

I guess that's where
my guilt is coming from,

because I would
scream and yell, and I

just didn't have any patience.

And really, I missed the last
five years of their life.

And we have to find a way that
you can be joyful with the time

you're with the boys, but it's
definitely a real mind change.

OK.

I just know that this is just
stuff that I've needed to hear.

Thank you.

And that's why
it's just affecting

me so emotionally
because I'm finally

being confronted with it.

NANNY DEB: I knew that if this
was ever going to be resolved,

Mom had to have a
talk with Christopher

and get to the
heart of the matter.

We're going to
listen to each other.

If you're angry at Mommy,
will you tell mommy?

OK.

And when I ask you to stop,
we're going to listen.

Because I don't want
to put you in time out.

Are you mad because I have
to work and I'm not here?

Is that why you're angry at me?

Is that why we don't
listen to each other?

I know I have to go to
work, but do they really

understand why we have to work?

Because they want
us there with them.

I have to work.

I do, but when I get
home, we have fun.

I can't wait to come home.

I am excited to come home.

A little bit.

Just for a little while though.

It really-- it opened my eyes
to that he really needs me.

You think we can
start listening?

I know I will.

I will.

You will?

He's just fighting
for me to notice

him and give him my attention.

Can I have a kiss?

Thank you.

NANNY DEB: It seems that Mom
understands how her happiness

affects the entire
household, and the next day

I was excited to
see that she had

decided to make a real change.

You need some
alone time right now.

Come on, go on.

I don't want to scream
and yell at you.

Mom?

What, honey?

Christopher stepped on my leg.

OK.

Then tell Christopher to
please stop it because what?

What does it do to
you when he does that?

Make me nervous.

Makes you nervous?

Yeah.

Well, you need to
tell Christopher then.

I was able to keep
it under control.

I remembered everything
that she told me.

I'm so excited.

I'm so excited.

I was very pleased to
see some real changes

taking place at last.

Open.

Ta da.

NANNY DEB: Kammy did
away with martyr mom

and found new ways of
relating to her kids.

And in turn, the boys started to
show respect for their parents

and really began to enjoy
earning their triangles.

You guys clean
up your own mess.

Thank you very much.
Ready?


I got five.

Five.

So you get to go to
the Dollar Store.

NANNY DEB: And as for
Chris, he realized

that he could have fun
with the boys in a way that

didn't involve roughhousing.

And as a result, the
boys started to treat

each other with more respect.

To Christopher
because we don't put

our hands on each other, do we?

I noticed that you
and your brothers

aren't fighting as much.

Yeah.

And you're the triangle, right?

NANNY DEB: And now that the
grabbing and hitting have been

left at the curb, the
future looks much brighter

for the Arilotta family.

But before I leave, I
just want to make sure

that there will be five chairs
at the dinner table from now

on.

Pepperoni in the tummy.

Pepperoni in the tummy.

Mom, are you eating?

KAMMY: Yes, I am.

NANNY DEB: It's very important
to have family meal time.

That is the way to get
to know your children,

for your children
to get to know you.

You three boys, do you
think Mommy's always going

to sit with you at dinner now?
- I think so.

- Yeah.
- You think so?

I think so.

With Chris acting like a
dad and Kammy finally enjoying

her family, I can leave the
Arilotta's knowing that they

are committed to change.

Now all that's left
to do is say goodbye.

Hi, guys.
- Hi, Nanny Deb.

Hi, Nanny Deb.

Oh, are you busy
doing the puzzle?

When the Nanny Deb was
standing in front of us, time

to leave, I was feeling like,
oh, boy, we're on our own now.

I just wanted to say thank
you for letting me be your nanny

this week.

These children are really sweet.

They're lovely boys.

Good job.

I'm going to miss you.

It's going to take a lot
of work, but I see a change.

I see them.

I'm going to tell
the other nannies,

Nanny Deb got the greatest
kids in Rochester.

I sat there sort of holding
it all in and looked at Mom

and fell apart.

We're going to get through it.

I really, truly feel from
the bottom of my heart

that I'm leaving you a
different person than the person

that I came.

You are.

It's an emotional
journey to take.

You know, you're changing
these people's lives.

You're turning
their lives upside

down and to walk away from that
feeling nothing, you can't.

I'm going to miss you.

You take care.

You know, Chris and I
are just so grateful.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I got more than I expected.

Keep in touch, OK?

Because I wanted someone to
come in and fix my children,

but we got much more than that.

I think, we needed
the help, I needed

the help more than my kids did.

Well, our house will be
happy and the neighbors

won't hear any yelling.

Thank you.

Mwah.

I love you.

Love you.
- Safe trip.

Yeah, we're going
to miss Nanny Deb,

but we have her number.

And if we have to,
we will use it.

NANNY DEB: I really am walking
away from the Arilotta's

feeling like they've got it.

They're on the right
path, and all I

ask is for them to stay there.

Which one do
you want me to go?

That one.

OK.

Are you going say go?


Hey, you went ahead.

I won.

Oh.

Oh, there's our friend.

Wave.

Say hi.

Do you want to spend more
time one on one with Daddy?

Yeah.

Because I want to too.

I'm having fun.

I love you.

I love you.

You really like spending
time with Daddy.

Is it fun?

Yeah.