02x06 - The Spaulding Family

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NARRATOR: 'They're every parent's worst nightmare.'

You're gonna be sorry. GIRL SCREAMS

'Kids completely out of control...'

Give me the Kn*fe. CHILD SCREAMS

'..and taking over the household.'

I'm the boss!

'These families have reached the end of the rope.'

How was I to know I was gonna have three kids in two years?

'They desperately need help.'

Shut up, everyone!

'They only have one alternative left.

'It's time to contact Nanny .'

PHONE RINGS

Hello, this is Nanny .

'We've gathered a team of world-class nannies

'from all over the globe. Each week, from Nanny Central,

'they will watch a video of a family in crisis...'

SHE SCREAMS

'..and decide which nanny is best suited to help.

'They will then have one week to take our families from living hell

'to a family bliss.'

- Give me my life back. - It's mine!

'Can these families be saved?'

- I don't love you! - It's an emotional roller-coaster.

Unless you get this right, it's all gonna fall to pieces.

If you think you can do a better job, get on with it.

'Parents of America, help is on the way.'

ALL: Nanny's here!

Nanny's here!

'Tonight...' HE SCREAMS

- I know, I'll be up in a minute. - '..Brent and Vicky Spaulding

'have a lot to learn about raising six kids.'

I haven't slept in ten years!

'Mom shelters them so much, she schools them at home.

'But with interruption...

'after interruption...' BABY CRIES

'after interruption...' DOG BARKS

'..Mom's days have gone to the dogs.'

Through the whole day, there is never quiet.

'And Dad's nights are much, much worse.'

Bedtime is a nightmare.

We stay up all hours of the night.

You call our house, we're up.

'Can Nanny Deb get this family to band together?'

I want to do what's best for my children.

'It's schoolhouse rock...'

- This isn't about you. - '..tonight, on Nanny .'

BOYS SHOUT

HE CRIES

No, I'm not opening that cereal box.

I'm Vicki Spaulding.

'We have six very active, busy boys.'

Our normal day is chaotic!

Dad!

My name is Brent Spaulding.

'Having six boys can be very challenging.

'The creativity that is misdirected is like,'

"What happens if you put a fly in a microwave?

"What happens if we squirt toothpaste?

"Toothpaste cleans our teeth so it must clean the mirror too."

It's crazy. It's zoo-y.

We have a pretty busy household.

HE SHOUTS

VICKI: 'Luke is nine years old. He's very dramatic.

'Luke really tries to'

be the centre of attention.

If my wife and I leave... Like, if we go on a date,

he tends to get upset about us leaving.

Aiden is six. He's very testosterone-y.

DOG GROWLS

He's our Dennis the Menace.

Owen is four. He really likes to torment his little brother.

BRENT: 'He's very good at making excuses for getting out of'

what we want him to do!

You need to come downstairs and have a timeout.

BRENT: 'You'll ask him, "Why did you do that?"'

He'll look at you and go, "Daddy, I love you."

Try to get you to just melt.

Gabriel, who is two, keeps us hopping,

from the moment we get up until he falls asleep at night.

He goes around the house, just kinda bouncing off anything.

'Cameron is four months old'

and he's used to being loved and held,

and a little spoiled with that.

'Seth is almost eight.

'This last year has been a little bit tougher for him.

'He has spina bifida.'

He's a child who's had surgeries, he's a tough cookie.

When we are handing him over to a doctor and they are saying,

"You might not see your son alive again",

that's a very, very hard thing to do.

VICKI: 'I have a brother with cerebral palsy

'and he was not treated well at school.'

There were a lot of people that would make fun of Tony, to his face,

and I would never choose to allow my children to be put through that.

Just follow these directions...

As a mom, that protective bear instinct comes out.

'So I chose to home-school.'

It wasn't, "Brent, what do you think about home-schooling?"

It was, "Brent, I'm gonna home-school."

We can protect them from all the bad things around.

That's important in today's society.

School is not always a real safe place to be.

The home is.

On a normal schoolday, I have to be a huge multi-tasker.

I have to be the cook, the cleaner, the laundry doer,

the milk provider, teacher, chauffeur, referee.

- Seth, stop! - Uh-uh!

She takes on a lot of responsibility.

Once school starts, you have children that need you

and are demanding,

and are cranky and fighting and whining.

You also have the two-year-old and the four-year-old

running in and out of the room.

HE CRIES I know, I'll be up in a minute.

Each of them also needs some one-on-one time with Mom.

Always a baby on my hip. Sometimes the phone ringing.

Sometimes the cellphone ringing.

Milo running through the house, chasing the two little ones.

Milo being the dog.

He usually parks himself under the school table

and proceeds to bite at everybody's feet.

'There is never quiet.' BOY SCREAMS

This is tens. Let's do the first one together.

'I need to still have dinner on the table

'when my husband walks through the door,'

and not be losing my mind.

Even when he comes home from work, it's all about the kids.

'Usually, we start trying to put the children to bed

'around eight o'clock.'

It's bedtime.

It's time to go to sleep.

VICKI: 'Brent will put them in bed

'and then lay between them on a pillow,

'and usually hold both of their hands.'

We should be able to say, "Goodnight, boys."

I do like to cuddle with my kids at night.

If I say, "You've been gone all day, I want your one-on-one",

it'd be hard to peel him away from the boys.

I enjoy being close with my boys.

VICKI: 'Brent will not leave the kids awake.'

I can be there, I'll lay with them, I'll cuddle with them,

give them that security they need.

It's time to sleep now, OK?

But after the kids go to bed, I need to be able to have

another adult to have a conversation with. As a wife, as a woman,

this is time I need with you.

I like to be near my children.

We don't have any time to be a couple at the end of the day.

I don't always maintain my calm.

You've been up here for minutes, let's go.

I'm not gonna change.

VICKI: 'I'm sorry, I can't do this.'

I need a Kleenex.

Hyah! Woo-hoo!

Not that hard!

Aiden, I know...

So what do you think, ladies?

Well, these parents home-school their children,

but something tells me

it's Mom and Dad that have a lot to learn.

When a mother coddles her kids,

it means she's a bit of a baby herself.

It's time this whole family grew up.

If Mom doesn't give up control now,

the kids will never grow up.

Excellent points, Nannies.

I'm choosing you, Deborah,

for the Spaulding family.

Your incredible patience is just what the doctor ordered.

DEB: 'From what I've gathered,

'the Spaulding family have a lot to learn.'

You remember how to do this?

'Mom, Vicki, home-schools her kids,

'but it seems to me that she could use

'a few classes on parenting herself.'

BABY CRIES

'And Dad, Brent, only adds fuel to the fire,

'by babying his kids like there's no tomorrow.

'It certainly seems like a very testy week lies ahead.'

SHE RINGS BELL

- Hi! - Hello, I'm Nanny Deb.

Hi, Nanny. We're so excited to have you here.

Come on in and meet the rest of the family.

Thank you.

When Nanny Deb first came in the door, I was very intimidated.

I was also concerned about how the boys would warm up to her.

- Hey, guys. - BRENT: Hey!

- Come in. - Oh, hello.

This is my husband, Brent.

- Nice to meet you, I'm Nanny Deb. - I'm Brent.

I did see her outfit and I go, "Oh, my gosh!

"We've got this character coming through our house."

OK, well, I'm going to take my coat off

and I'm going to tell you what today is about.

Today is the day I just watch you

and see how the family dynamic works.

You'll see me walking around with my notebook and my pen,

writing things down.

'I thought to myself, "What is she gonna write about?"'

We're OK.

Carry on with your normal day

and that'll help me figure everything out.

- Sounds good. - All right!

Fabulous.

'And as the day begins, Dad gets the kids ready for school.

'He gets them cleaned up...'

CHILD SQUEALS

'..he gets them dressed.'

CHILD LAUGHS

'And then it's off to school,

'which is in the next room.'

- Goodbye. Love you. - Where are you going?

I gotta go to work.

'And as Dad leaves for work,

'the kids begrudgingly settle into their roles as students.

'And Vicki becomes a school teacher to three boys,

'while remaining a stay-at-home Mom to the other three.'

OK, guys. No phones, no toys, no Legos,

no playing during our school time.

Can you get in your chair, put your arm through your shirt?

Luke, do the problem.

Five times three is what? Give me the balloon.

DEB: 'Within five minutes,'

chaos ensues.

Stop!

It is absolutely out of control.

I asked you for the scissors.

Luke, did you finish this?

It was like a circus, including animals.

SCREAMING

There's a lot going on in the house during that time

because there's so many children.

'And, erm, I think Nanny Deb was really amazed by

'the amount of activity going on

'during what should be a quiet schoolday.'

NANNY DEB: 'So do I.'

The boys have learned to school with a lot of distractions around

because, having this many in one home, there's gonna be distractions,

there's gonna be noise, and they've learned to deal with it.

CRYING

NANNY DEB: 'I'd expected a home with six boys to be chaotic...'

HE WAILS

'..and I knew there would be a certain element'

of difficulty, trying to home-school three

and take care of three smaller ones at the same time.

'But I thought, this mom must have it super well-organised,

'she must just, you know, have it run like clockwork.

'It must be like a ship.'

And it is, but there's no captain.

'After school, Mom gathers all six kids

'to take Luke to taekwondo.'

Yes.

THEY SHOUT

'It becomes clear that, with no captain,

'the sailors on this ship are becoming lost.'

Luke, when we were in the car and he was getting out,

was asking you if you were coming inside cos the boys were asleep.

- Right. - Is that normal,

that he asks you, like he wants you to come inside?

- Or is that... - Yes, it's very normal.

He doesn't wanna be...

He doesn't wanna be left alone.

Now, that, to me, is a serious problem.

'If he will not be left,

'that shows me that this is a very insecure child,

'because at nine they're normally so used to going to school,

'they're left for eight hours a day.'

If this child is that attached to his parents,

something is not right.

HE SCREAMS

'And with Mom and five kids cooped up in a waiting room,

'it doesn't take long to realise that the Spauldings

'aren't just a circus, but a travelling circus.

'And later that day,

'when Brent joins the circus back at home,

'it becomes apparent that Dad's not just the leader,

'but the ringleader.

'And with Mom hard at work,

'and Dad hard at play with five of the boys...'

THEY SHOUT

'..I notice something very upsetting.

'Seth is left out of the fun,

'and that absolutely must change.'

BRENT: 'I think Seth can kind of feel a little left out,'

but Seth also does have the ability and he's been encouraged

by Vicki and myself, "If you wanna play,

"then tell 'em you wanna play."

DEB: 'After a day with the Spauldings,

'it's obvious that there's plenty of work to do.

'But at bedtime, my workload only becomes that much heavier.'

VICKI: It's bedtime.

You guys need to be in your bed. It's late.

Bedtime in the Spaulding house is a nightmare.

'I don't think, in years, I've seen a bedtime like it.

'It goes on for hours.'

Hey, Luke and Aiden, have you brushed your teeth?

No.

You've been up here for minutes. Let's go.

OK, let go of him.

It's time to settle down.

Aiden, are you going down? HE WAILS

Someone will sleep with you in a minute.

You're just making yourself very hot.

Stop. I love you. Goodnight.

DEB: 'I don't know where this started or where it came from,

'but Dad has to lay with'

every single one of the boys separately, until they fall asleep.

Last night, I lay with you for a long time

and I didn't get to lay with Aiden for a long time,

so I think it would be only fair that I lay with Aiden

for some minutes while he falls asleep.

- I love you. - I love you.

I'll lay with them, I'll cuddle with them,

give them that security they need.

This is where you're gonna go to bed.

Mommy has said that she will be in here.

They're not creating independent, free-thinking human beings.

'They're keeping their children so close...

'..that the children aren't able to grow and expand.'

I'm sure Mommy will come in and tuck you goodnight.

Are your eyes closed?

'Bedtime is about insecurity.

'Insecurity comes from babying your children too much.'

Bedtime is gonna be a big issue to work on in this house.

'It's been a long night and I've definitely seen enough.

'It's time to sit these parents down for an eye-opening talk.'

HE SIGHS OK!

DEB: It's been quite a day.

VICKI LAUGHS DEB: To say the least!

The goal that I've set for myself,

as a nanny for years,

is to create independent, responsible children

who grow up being able to take complete care of themselves.

Knowing how to handle any situation that's thrown at them,

and feeling confident.

And that's what I don't see in these kids.

They don't have that right now.

One of the big things I'm gonna tackle in this house is bedtime.

- OK. - Bedtime is a nightmare.

VICKI LAUGHS

It is an absolute... nightmare.

- Yeah. - And the problem is,

you are feeding into it.

BRENT: 'When she focused so heavily'

on our bedtime routine, I was kind of taken aback.

- I enjoy laying with the children. - Right.

I'm probably going too far in it,

but I also know that I don't want to give that up.

If you have to lay with your children at night,

if you cannot leave Luke alone,

then you have insecure children on your hands.

OK? Your children have emotional problems.

To hear that my kids were not emotionally secure

was actually kind of a shocker.

Brent was floored.

'His jaw dropped. He could not believe it.'

It surprises me that there's a security issue

cos I feel like, if we lay with them,

if we're there for them always,

that will give them that security that they need.

The child only then feels secure when you're there.

Hmm.

And when you're not,

they don't know what to do.

But I wanna get that insecurity

out the window.

However, it's gonna be tough.

But that's what I'm here for.

And I'm gonna give you the tools that will help you

remove that from their lives and make them feel strong.

Brent will not leave the kids awake.

It just... When they cry for him, or if they're not able to go to sleep,

that breaks his heart.

I will speak to you in the morning.

- BOTH: All right. - Night.

- Goodnight. Thank you, Nanny Deb. - Goodnight.

BRENT: 'It's important for me to lay with the children,

'to cuddle with the children.'

And that's something that I will promote till my dying day.

DEB: 'After a day of observation,

'the problems in the Spaulding house are clear.

'These parents baby their kids too much.

'So today, I'm giving the family their own set of rules.'

Today's the day that I present the family rules.

I thought, "She is gonna tear me up!"

The nanny book!

Rule number one for the Spaulding family,

"Everyone sleeps in their own bed."

'This family's done a lot of things right.

'But bedtime in the Spaulding house'

is out of control.

That also means Daddy...

is not gonna go in your bed.

BRENT LAUGHS

The toughest rule that I personally would have to deal with is,

"Everyone sleeps in their own bed."

Rule number two, "Encourage independence."

Which means, when you go to a class,

you may get dropped off at that class

and Mommy and Daddy will not stay.

And then, the last one is,

"Give Mom a helping hand."

Mommy is not a superhero.

How many times will three go into ?

Let's head off to the schoolroom.

She said that she had a surprise for the boys

and they were very excited.

Well, look, I wanna show you what I've done to your classroom.

Hey!

All right! Look at that.

DEB: 'One of the problems I'd seen'

was that school was chaotic.

'So I wanted to make it a little more organised.'

So I made these cubbies for everybody.

Everybody has their own cubby with their name on.

When you come in in the morning,

all your work is gonna be arranged in your cubbies for you.

The dog has to be kept out of the classroom.

And over here, this is what I've done for Mommy.

Cleared off a lot of space and we've made individual folders,

so when they've completed their work,

- you hand it to the teacher. - Woo-hoo.

And she puts it in your folder.

OK. OK.

That was a brilliant idea.

I don't know why we didn't think of that before.

All right, so now you guys can start school.

I wanna see how well it goes cos it's more organised now.

'Straight away, mom and kids get with the programme.

'And everyone proves to be a quick study.'

OK, now, let's see if we can follow the rules

for the end of our school day.

'The boys took their things in and out of cubbies,

'they sat at their space. They weren't distracted.

'And I think school went well today.'

Spauldings rock!

'It's great to see everyone following my rules,

'and I really hope this continues when Dad comes home from work.'

- You wanna wrestle? - 'With Dad home, it's all smiles.

'Except for Seth, who once again feels left out.

'The boys jump on Dad with excitement when he comes home

'and everyone wants to spend time with him.

'He tries to spread himself throughout all the boys,

'but, in the meantime, sometimes Seth gets left off to the side.

'I think that Dad didn't realise'

just how much Seth was missing.

VICKI: 'Seth has two conditions, actually.

'He has spina bifida and he also has a severe heart defect,'

which makes it really tough for him

to be able to run like the other boys, or to keep up.

And he's had a great attitude for the most part.

This last year has been a little bit tougher for him, you know,

because he's at an age now where he's more aware.

He's more aware of himself,

he's more aware of what the kids are doing around him.

He's more aware of the sports going on that he has to do differently.

BOYS LAUGH

BRENT: 'Seth was very despondent,

'he was kind of withdrawn.'

He was kind of not responding to the activity that was around him.

OK!

On the count of three, we're all gonna jump off of me

and we're all gonna go jump on Seth.

Seth has developed his own little defence mechanisms.

He'll go and play the computer, he'll play chess on the computer.

What's going on, then?

BRENT CHUCKLES

'I don't know what triggered that kind of behaviour,'

but it is a fairly common thing with Seth.

What's going on?

Has it been a hard day for you? Is there something that happened?

'I tried to ask him, "Why are you feeling this way?'

"What has happened? Are you tired?

"Are you hurt? What is happening that is causing you

"not to want to socialise with us?"

So what's going on?

- Nothing. - Nothing?

Well, it seems like there's something going on.

You seem to have a sad tone in your voice.

No reason for sad tones, son.

DEB: 'Seeing Seth so upset breaks my heart, and until Mom and Dad

- 'begin meeting his needs...' - Where you going?

'..all the progress the Spauldings have made will mean nothing.

'Seth is such a strong boy...'

'..to see him so upset is very troubling.'

Whoa. Whoa!

Crash!

Cool.

'So I'm going to have a heart-to-heart with him,

'to get his feelings out in the open.'

I wanted to have a chat with you, anyway.

I know you've had operations, right?

I've had dozens of surgeries.

Wow! That's pretty impressive.

I've had so many surgeries

that I don't even know how many.

And look at you. HE LAUGHS

You've turned out to be an awesome kid, right?

Uh-huh.

That was neat, that he was willing to openly love her so quickly

that she won his heart like that.

I wanna talk to you about something,

and tell me if it's OK if we talk about it.

That sometimes Daddy plays really rough with your brothers

and you don't like to join in, right?

- Yeah. - Yeah.

What do you like to do with Daddy?

Mm-hm. So you like spending time with Daddy, right?

BRENT: 'To find out Seth would like to

'spend time one-on-one with his dad,'

that melts my heart.

Sometimes I worry a little bit when I see that you go off by yourself.

I think, "Wow, that's cool he does that cos he's very independent."

But I also don't want it to be that you get left out.

BRENT: 'I need to work doubly hard to make sure that Seth'

has that time where he and I can partake in his interests.

DEB: 'Dad's responsibility is to spend time with Seth,

'doing something that's just Seth and Dad.'

When I broached the subject of him and Dad having a bike ride together,

Seth's face lit up.

Love you, sweets.

I love you, too.

I thought we'd go take a bike ride together, just you and me. OK?

- Thank you. - OK.

HE STRAINS

BRENT: 'I think Seth can feel a little left out,

'so being able to find ways to spend time with him,

'even if it's individually,

'I think is very important.'

And also something that I need to do more of.

You think you could b*at me?

- Probably. - You really think you can?

- Yeah. - Let's get you on here, bud.

DEB: 'Seth has accomplished a lot.'

He was told he would never walk.

'He was told he could never ride a bike.

'So Dad and Seth decided

'Dad would help Seth progress with his bike riding

'and they'd have some bonding time,'

just Seth and Dad.

Do you think I could catch you?

- No. - OK, here you go.

I'm coming.

Oh!

I'm gonna get you.

SETH: I bet I can b*at you up.

Mr Seth is feeling the heat,

as he's racing his bike down the street!

BRENT: 'He has overcome every circumstance

'that has been placed before him.'

Doctors say, he's not gonna walk, he's not gonna ride bikes,

he's not gonna be an active child.

'And then to be able to ride beside him on a bicycle.'

- So long! - So long!

'Here we were, just enjoying the day, enjoying the sunset.

'Those moments can really bond

'a relationship between a father and a son.'

It's priceless.

SETH: We can ride, just the two of us.

That's right.

DEB: 'Now that Dad understands the importance

'of giving Seth individual attention,

'it's time to work on the Spauldings' biggest problem,

'bedtime.

'And with all the babying that goes on,

'teaching these parents a new way will be anything but easy.'

I'm gonna set the timer for ten minutes...

'And to stop Mom and Dad from babying their kids,

'we're going to extreme measures, coddling timers.

'When the time is up, they must move on to the next child,

'whether they like it or not.'

OK.

VICKI: 'Nanny Deb gave us all timers.'

TIMER RINGS 'One for each of the boys' bedroom.'

It's night-time in the jungle and the moon is on the rise.

It's just a normal... Ah! TIMER RINGS

'When the timer's gone off for the first time,

'it actually is very startling.'

Yeah, the five minutes is up. You know what that means?

It's time for us to say our goodnights.

'I actually felt kind of cold in the whole scene.

'I felt very restricted,'

that there was just no way that five minutes is enough.

We'll just switch the overheads off so it's not too bright.

- OK. - We'll go talk to the other boys.

HE LAUGHS

Your timer is going to go off in just a minute.

You need to lay down, look at your book.

That was one of the hardest things that I've ever had to do.

Yes. Can I show what my favourite part of the day was?

TIMER RINGS, BRENT EXCLAIMS

You know what that means?

BRENT: 'Very difficult to deal with.'

I wanted to see Nanny's plan fail.

CAMERON CRIES

I'll be out in the hallway, sitting. OK?

You can see me, I'm right here.

CHILD CRIES LOUDLY

VICKI: 'I don't think it's ever easy to hear your child cry,

'and to know that you can relieve his discomfort,'

but you're not going to do it.

SOBBING CONTINUES

'It was breaking my heart.'

SOBBING CONTINUES

'I wanted to just tell Nanny Deb to leave my house now,'

I'm going to rock my baby.

Mom! Mom!

Mom!

'How can you be there during the day,'

every time they cry for you, and not be there at night?

GABRIEL CRIES He's not feeling abandoned.

He knows he's loved.

'Vicki was rather anxious, and she wasn't sure if she was ready'

for Gabriel to sleep in his own room yet.

'Eventually, all of the children fell asleep.'

Really?

'As soon as that happened, it was like a light bulb went on for Mom.'

VICKI: 'I was so impressed.'

That was really encouraging. It was great.

'But early the next morning, it becomes apparent that Brent

'does not share his wife's regard for the new rules, in the least.'

BRENT: Me and you need to get together and talk about

some of the suggestions that you've had.

Sure.

'My wife and I dislike confrontation.'

We do our utmost to avoid it, in all honesty.

I hate confrontation, just makes me want to barf.

The first rule, right off the bat,

"Everyone sleeps in their own bed."

I'm really having trouble with that one.

There is no way that I can just not sleep with my child.

When we were asking for your help,

I thought we needed a lot of help

with our organisational skills.

I had no issues or qualms with the way we put our children to bed.

VICKI: 'That was really hard.

'Not only was there a confrontational discussion

'going on between Nanny and Brent,'

I knew Brent and I were gonna have a confrontation

because I didn't agree with him.

We've tried it your way and it's been very cold to me...

And I understand that this is hard for you.

Yeah, it is difficult for me

because I feel like I'm doing right by my child.

My priority is with my family.

It is not with, "I've got to stick to Nanny's rules."

Throughout my whole life, I wanted to be able to lay with each child

and have them fall asleep in my arms,

cos it's something that I like.

You know, I like that time.

He thinks that he's thinking for his children.

'He doesn't think that he's thinking only for himself.'

Your way just goes against

everything that I have grown up feeling,

and you came right in and said I can't lay with my kids,

so now I can't touch 'em at all at bedtime.

'"Don't lay with them till they fall asleep", meant to him,'

"Don't touch them, don't go near them. Leave 'em alone."

'And that was never my intention.'

Have cuddle time. If you wanna sit on the bed

and read them a book and cuddle with them

for each of their five minutes, that's fine.

Don't stay there until they fall asleep.

'He's had a very hard time'

finding that middle ground between the way he was raised

and the way he wants his children to be raised.

They have to learn that they're OK without you.

But being able to lay with each child

and have them fall asleep in my arms,

I feel, really promotes that security.

That's you.

- That's you. - Shouldn't we raise our children

in a way that we feel that we should?

You are creating an insecurity

by only laying with them until they fall asleep,

and then going to your own bed.

They wake up and you're not there,

and the first thing that happens is they panic.

"Daddy's not here. Daddy's not here.

"And I mustn't... I must be not OK cos Daddy's not here."

Well... it's very difficult to change behaviour

that you feel is so right, and then somebody tells you it's wrong.

If it was working so wonderfully, you wouldn't have called.

When she presented that,

I was already in an agitated state of mind,

'so I got up the courage to say,'

"I cannot do this."

We are gonna lay with them, sleep with them, coddle with them,

cos that is the way that I believe.

'She has been doing this for so long,'

but they are my children.

I'm going to sleep with my children to help them develop

their trust in me, their trust that I will be there always.

Laying with your children is not for your children.

I'm sorry, Brent, it's for you.

'During that conversation,'

I felt myself getting whittled away at each turn.

You're projecting your problems onto them.

DEB: 'He's going back to when he was a kid'

and he felt a certain way,

and he doesn't want his children to feel that way.

'What he was saying is, "I can't do this

'"because I don't want them to feel the way I felt,

'"left alone in bed."'

You did not like it when you were laying alone at night.

You're overcompensating for what you didn't have...

..with your children, and that's not fair.

BRENT: 'It was very humbling to hear that.'

I try to tell my children not to be selfish,

and here I am being selfish

with something that I hold dear.

It's not all or nothing.

It's finding that right balance.

Make bedtime cosy, make it loving.

But don't stay there until they fall asleep.

OK?

OK.

How are you feeling?

- I'm good. - OK.

You didn't seem so good when you were in there crying...

- I'm thinking! - ..holding his hand and singing,

and when we're trying to practise these things that Deb is suggesting.

- Could I talk for five minutes? - Sure, sure, sure.

The point being made is that you don't have to be there

in order for them to be happy and comfortable going to sleep.

'It was really good for us to have that confrontation'

because it did open the door for me to be able to say,

"Hey, I'm tired. This really needs to happen."

I'm trying to help your relationship,

not that there's anything wrong with it. Let's get that straight.

But it's nice to have some Mom and Dad time in the evening.

For me to tell him, this is something that, as a mom, as a wife,

as a woman, that this is time I need with you.

I'm sorry, I'm selfish.

I want some time with you at the end of the day.

As soon as you get home,

you are all about the boys.

As an adult, as a woman,

I need to have, you know, more than, "Hi, goodnight."

That's not cutting it.

DEB: 'Vicki needs some adult conversation.'

She needs to be able to talk through some of the things

that happened with the boys,

and things that she's going through herself.

Brent and I came from very different backgrounds.

I came from a very secure, happy home.

You know, my mom was very loving and gentle.

Brent's mom was not there.

We have made a conscious...

She was there for me, just in different ways.

She was absent a lot, perhaps that's a better way to put it.

'Brent had a different upbringing

'than he's decided to give his children.'

And I know there were times when his mother was very busy

and was unable to be there for him,

and he has a lot of memories of spending a lot of time alone.

Seth said it the best, last night.

Seth said,

"You don't just suddenly wanna start

"sleeping on your own when you're ."

HE LAUGHS

Out of the mouths of babes.

It's the truth.

But they have to learn that they're OK without you.

I can see that viewpoint.

I could see Brent sort of getting it. His eyes sort of, you know...

'It was registering with him.'

I truly do project some of my insecurities upon my children.

And I will give it a sh*t.

'It's great to hear Dad say he's getting with the programme,

'but I really need to see the new rules work for him.

'So tonight's bedtime is truly his final test.'

Sleeping in our own beds.

Yes, that's right. The first rule was,

"Everybody sleeps in their own bed."

And is this my bed?

- No. - Nope.

It's not my bed.

DEB: 'And with the kids asleep in a timely manner,

'Mom and Dad finally have time alone together at night.'

And it's before midnight.

It's time to go to sleep.

- Goodnight, then. - Night. Love you.

Love you.

'With bedtime a success,

'I truly believe that the Spauldings are on the right path.

'And over the next few days,

'everything began falling into place for the Spaulding family.'

OK, Aiden, let's get you started.

'Mom is running an orderly schoolhouse by day...'

OK, guys, we've had a great schoolday, haven't we?

'..and Dad is running an orderly bedtime by night.'

"The folks in Daniel's neighbourhood were busy with their lives..."

'And the babying is rapidly becoming a thing of the past.

'As a result, the kids are blossoming

'with their new-found independence.'

That's the first time you've ever done a box sheet?

Yeah, without any help, with a grown-up.

Very good!

'Seth is getting all of the individual attention he needs.

'He truly is a remarkable child.'

SETH SQUEALS HAPPILY

'But before I leave, there's one thing I need to see.

'Luke spending the afternoon at taekwondo

'all by himself.'

VICKI: 'I really expected that I would have,

'"Mom, my stomach hurts, I don't wanna do this."'

Or tears in the van, on the way. We didn't have any of that.

I will be here before your class is out.

The more he does it, I think, the easier it's gonna be on him.

You're fine. OK? You'll do great.

'I'm ready to see him make some big steps.

'Ready to dive in and do things on his own,'

and for him to be comfortable with it.

DEB: 'Later on, when Mom returns to pick up Luke,

'she's proud to see him now comfortable among his peers.'

Let's go, bud.

'I think that Luke is very, very proud

'of all he's accomplished this week. I really do.

'I think he feels much more confident.

'Now that Luke knows he's safe and secure,

'both at home and at play, my work with the Spauldings is done.

'And all that's left to do is say goodbye.'

- Hi, Nanny Deb! - How are you today?

Hey, do we have a new nanny at Nanny Central?

Yes, we do!

How do you do? What's your name?

Nanny Seth?

BRENT: 'He basically stole her cap and her cape,'

so Nan Deb couldn't leave.

My least favourite day has come.

TEARFULLY: And, erm...

it's the day I have to say goodbye.

'It's always difficult for me to say goodbye,'

but when you spend this week with this family,

when you spend this time with these children, when you come in

and turn their lives upside down...

..you can't help but love them forever.

I want you to know, when I leave,

I'm gonna take a little bit of each of you in my heart,

and I hope that you know I'm leaving a little bit of me in yours.

OK?

It's heartbreaking when you see six little faces...

..looking up at you, saying you really have to go now.

This is it, it's done. Because you get attached.

Thank you for everything.

- Your generosity, insight. - Thank you.

Your challenges!

THEY LAUGH 'I just wanted to hold on to her

'because she did impact my children so much, she did impact me.'

This is real. This is real. This is a life-changing experience.

When people offer help, accept it.

OK.

- OK, I promise. I promise. - OK?

- I'm gonna miss you a lot. - I'm gonna miss you.

VICKI: 'We definitely are blessed, having had her here.

'We definitely made some positive changes.'

I think it was an awesome thing,

to have her come and be a part of our lives for a week.

- OK. Oh! - You, too.

Goodness me! All right. Come on, Nanny Seth, let's go.

VICKI LAUGHS

We'll see you later.

'And the boys followed me'

and gave me some hugs.

'And then Dad came in, carrying Seth...'

..who was sobbing.

It's OK, honey. It's all right.

I promise I'll come see you.

SETH SOBS I love you very much.

VICKI: 'For that to be so hard for him was heartbreaking.'

Cos he doesn't cry very often.

Thank you.

There's a saying, "If you love your children,

"you let them free."

'And I think that I've taught Mom and Dad

'how to give these children the wings and the tools

'to let them be who they are,

'and to allow them one day, when they leave,

'to know that their mom and dad are there.

'And that they love them and they've set them free.'

Look at this!

Nanny Deb has left us something to enjoy and remember her by.

- What does she say? - OK, she says,

"Dear Spaulding family, I'm leaving you this book

"and the T-shirts and watch,

"to help you with any questions that may arise.

"Even the best parents need help sometimes.

"My love to you all, always. Nanny Deb."

CHILDREN TALK OVER EACH OTHER

Babe... Oh, it says B-A-B-F.

VICKI AND BRENT: Brothers always, brothers first.