03x12 - Detention

[bunniefuu]

♪ Someone once told me the grass is much greener ♪

♪ On the other side. ♪

♪ Well, I paid a visit ♪

♪ While it's possible I missed it ♪

♪ It seemed different yet exactly the same ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

♪Till further notice♪

♪ Till further notice ♪

♪I'm in between♪

♪ I'm in between ♪

♪From where I'm standing♪

♪ From where I'm standing ♪

♪ My grass is green. ♪

♪ Someone once told me the grass is much greener ♪

♪ On the other side. ♪

Now.

Who can do this one?

Any of you?

Hmm?

Any of you?

GINGER: Just because your brothers played football

doesn't mean you have to.

DARREN: I know I don't have to; I want to.

GINGER: Why?

DARREN: Because I like it.

Can't you accept that this is who I am?

GINGER: I accept that football is who you are.

DARREN: Then if you care about me, you'll come to my games.

GINGER: I care about you.

DARREN: Then you'll come.

What are you doing this weekend?

Darren's first football game is on Saturday.

Oh, I know.

I'm sorry.

No.

I'm looking forward to it.

Can't wait to see Darren take it to the end zone

and score a touchdown.

I just hope the quarterback doesn't get sacked.

You readThe Moron's Guide to Football,didn't you?

Come on, Dode.

I'm trying to get into it.

It's really important to Darren, so I...

ReadThe Moron's Guide to Football.

Just the back cover.

CILIA: Ginger Foutley?

I have a message from the assistant principal's office.

[all oohing]

Thank you, Jesse.

All-day detention?

All I did was fall asleep in Zorsky's class.

It's not like I ran over her dog or something.

I agree.

It seems excessive.

I mean, in the world of high school punishment,

this is like a year on Rikers Island.

Plus, now you won't be able to make it

to Darren's football game.

Oh, no.

Darren's expecting me there.

What am I going to tell him?

Did somebody say my name?

Hey, babe.

Hey.

Sorry I can't have lunch with you today.

I have to eat massive quantities of undercooked beef

in preparation for the big game this weekend.

Trust me-- you don't want to see

the football team feed.

You're right about that.

Ginge, I couldn't get you girls front row seats.

I hope nosebleed's okay.

Darren, I...

Just kidding.

Front row center.

Bam, bam, bam.

Look, you have no idea

what I had to go through

to get these.

Let it never be said

that Diesel Darren Patterson

doesn't know how to take care of his best girl.

BLAKE: So it's settled, gentlemen.

Gripling Industries will finance full-scale production

of your positively delightful tea.

Don't you want to try it?

I would, but that would require

ordering little finger sandwiches.

Fair enough.

In exchange for our financial support,

said tea shall be named

Sir Blake Gripling's Special Reserve

and my visage will appear on every box.

Sir?

My partner and I need a moment to confer.

Oh.

Please.

[whispering]

You have a deal, Gripling.

You'll understand if we forgo

the customary handshake.

Because of our mutual distrust of one another?

No-- because Hoods and I saw you

working on your nose

a few seconds ago.

[snaps his fingers]

WINSTON: Just sign here and here and here.

Initial here,

sign here, sign here

and here and here and here and here and here and...

here.

Are you sure about this, Carl?

It's an unholy alliance, but a necessary one.

Oh.

One more thing, gentlemen.

I shall need to know where you found

this rare and exotic plant.

Bloodsucking fiend!

No dice, Gripling.

You'll have to be satisfied with % of the company

and exclusive international distribution rights.

Faster, Hoods.

Blake's corporate spies are everywhere.

GINGER: What was I thinking?

Now Darren's totally expecting me

and there's no way I can be there, and...

Am I boring you, Macie?

What? Oh, no!

It's just that since you got your new down comforter,

I can only be in your room for two hours

before suffering a severe allergic reaction.

So, are we almost finished?

No... I need suggestions.

Oh, because I'm already starting to feel tingly in my nose.

Maybe you should just tell Darren the truth.

I wish I could.

You probably haven't noticed,

but things have been a little strained between us lately.

Strained?

I don't know... it's just a feeling I have,

like we're drifting apart, or...

Ten minutes.

Macie.

I'm just saying.

Hey, maybe you could get someone to disguise herself as you

and take your place.

In detention?

No, at the game,

just long enough for Darren to see her.

Then, when you're finished with detention...

Ooh... I'll do it.

I can look like Ginger.

I'll just wear my Ginger wig.

[sighs weakly]

You have a Ginger wig?

♪ There were copper-colored ponies... ♪

DARREN: You know, I got to admit, babe,

I'm kind of nervous about tomorrow.

Nervous about what?

It's football, not brain surgery.

I'm sure you'll do great.

DARREN: Well, as long as I know my good luck charm's going to be there.

You're bringing your Lincoln Memorial snow globe?

DARREN: No, Ginger, I'm talking about you.

Oh, right.

Yep, I'll be there.

Just look for the big red hair.

Well, kiddo, here we are.

I'd bake you a cake with a file in it,

but I'm not using sugar.

Here's lunch.

My special chicken noodle Shanghai

with extra Shanghai.

Aren't you mad?

No... you made a mistake.

Now you're dealing with the consequences.

Let's just call it a learning experience.

Now, if I have to drive you back herenextSaturday,

we're going to have problems.

[sighs]

Ah... Ginger Foutley.

Ms. Zorsky told me about you.

Take your seat.

Today, if that's possible.

[whimpers]

[whistle blows]

Normally I'd have you all write

an essay

[yelling]: on who you think you are!

But since the thought

of actually finding out terrifies me,

I'll just have you sit here quietly for six hours.

No miniature game systems.

No music.

No talking.

[all groaning]

No fun of any kind.

I don't make the rules.

I just enforce them.

I am an army of one!

If there is an emergency, I will be across the hall

fantasizing about retirement.

But I caution you, no false alarms.

Understand?

Very well.

Six hours, starting...

Now.

[giggling nervously]

I'm Ginger.

ANNOUNCER: Continuing a family tradition of excellence,

playing tight end, Diesel Darren Patterson!

[sniffing]

Hints of raspberry, uh, vanilla, lavender.

This is positively delightful.

Yep.

That's Sir Blake Gripling's Special Reserve.

Do we have a sale, Louie?

How about a trade?

I just got a special shipment of fake doggie doo in,

made from a new synthetic polymer.

Has the look and feel

of real doggie doo.

And you know this because...

No trades, Louie.

We're going to have to ask for cash on this one.

[sighs]

Well, I could really use a nice tea

for my employee lounge

and for certain preferred customers.

I didn't know you had an employee lounge.

How many employees do you have?

Just me.

And boys, I'm worth it.

[whimpering]

MACIE: Ginger pants?

DODIE: Check.

Ginger shirt?

Check.

Ginger wig?

Check.

Well, how do I look?

Like Ginger.

[squeals with delight]

MACIE: This is good.

This is going to work.

Hey, Macie...

Dodie.

Hmm...

What's the catch, Carl?

No catch, Milty.

It's a free sample.

Please.

Enjoy it with our compliments.

Mm-hmm.

This isn't going to, uh, explode when I open it, is it?

Not this time, Milty.

Not this time.

You see, Hoods?

It's a surefire recipe for success:

one part originality, one part congeniality

and one partteatea.

You didn't sign those contracts

with disappearing ink, did you?

No, but I like the way you think.

Uh, gentlemen.

A moment of your time.

I'd offer you a cold beverage,

but that would require ordering little finger sandwiches.

What is it, Gripling?

I'm taking over the company.

All of it!

What?... Ow!

Relax, Hoods.

He can't take over the company.

We signed a contract.

I refer to section eight, paragraph three

of our revised agreement.

Winston.

"If aforementioned covenant should suffer breach or default

"due to any event hereto defined

"under section nine, article three,

"then ownership shall fall directly and in perpetuity

to Gripling Industries."

You think he should be driving

and reading a contract at the same time?

Not to worry-- he went to Harvard Law.

What was all that mumbo jumbo?

Really, Foutley...

you should have studied the contract more closely.

Since you've failed to tell me

where you found the plant,

our agreement is hereby terminated.

Blake Gripling's Special Reserve

now belongs to me, Blake Gripling!

[laughing evilly]

Hey!

I was writing.

Could I have my notebook back?

[laughs snidely]

Please?

Oh, look.

No!

She wrote a song.

GINGER: Give it back.

Oh, it's called, "Didn't We, Darren."

[laughing]

Oh, man, it's about her boyfriend.

[grimly]: Give it back.

[others laughing]

I'll sing it till you get a feel for it

and when you're comfortable

you can all join in.

[laughs]

You build a company,

nurture it, watch it grow.

You pour your life into it.

Make sacrifices.

And for what?

I don't know what to say, Hoods.

The little twit lawyered us.

Why don'twehave lawyers, Carl?

We should havelawyers.

I can make a couple of calls.

How you boys doing today?

Not so good, Mom.

Blake Gripling got control of our company.

Oh, that's too bad.

Who wants soup?

PURPLE-HAIRED GIRL: "But something, Darren,

keeps us from where we used to be..."

Everybody, come on!

Stop it!

[door opens]

Ginger Foutley...

what are you doing out of your seat?

Me?

I'm not going to ask you twice.

And that goes

for the rest of you, too.

In your seats.

[muttering]

What was that?

Nothing.

Nothing or something?

I didn't say anything.

I got my eye on you, Foutley.

That was fun.

What else you got?

BOY: You write songs?

I play drums.

Oh... cool.

I'm Ginger.

I know... you told us.

[whistle blows]

Patterson, go long!

Got it.

[all grunt]

Hut, hut, hike!

[grunts]

First down!

[cheering]

ALL: Darren, Darren, he's our man!

If he can't do it, no one can.

Simone seems to really believe

Darren's her man.

Oh, here comes Darren.

Make sure he sees you.

Darren!

Hi, Darren!

MACIE: Hello, Diesel.

Hey, Macie. Hey, Dodie.

Uh, why are you wearing your Ginger wig?

This is good.

You think?

Yeah.

Your boyfriend...

might actually forgive you.

[door opens]

[whispering]: What?

What is it?

Did Darren see Dodie?

Yes.

And?

He saw right through

the disguise.

He knows you're not there.

You okay?

I have to see Darren.

And you will...

in roughly three hours.

I can't wait that long.

If Darren finds out not only that I missed his first game,

not only that I got Saturday detention,

not only that I lied about it,

but also that I dressed Dodie up to look like me,

he'll never talk to me again.

No relationship can survive that many not-onlys.

There's only one thing to do.

I've got to be there.

Speaking from personal experience,

I can tell you that if Grundig catches you outside,

you're toast.

I'm going to have to take that chance.

[cheering and applause]

ALL: Break!

Three, .

Three, .

Hut, hut.

Go long!

Go long!

[grunts]

[cheering]

Yeah, baby!

[laughs]

There!

[chanting]: Darren, Darren,

Darren, Darren, Darren...

You were awesome.

Really, totally inspiring.

Thanks.

I don't like the looks of that.

I know-- she just ex*cuted

seven perfect consecutive cartwheels.

That doesn't happen!

Ahh...

Uh, ooh, what's happening?

[retching]

[fast, silly music playing]

[spits]

[yells]

Now, what are you doing?!

I need to use the head,

Mr. Grundig, sir.

Very well, I'll, uh... I'll take you.

[gasps]

[people conversing]

Should we tell Ginger about the hug?

Why? It was just a hug.

Wasn't it?

Yes, but what kind of a hug?

Was it a "nice touchdown" hug?

Or, uh, "I'm thinking about dumping my girlfriend

"and you look really good

in that cheerleading outfit" hug?

I'd wager on the later.

[congratulating each other]

Thanks, man, thanks.

Hey, guys.

Hi.

So, good game.

Thanks.

Hey, I was wondering where...

Um, Dodie...

Is that my shirt?

Yes, Darren.

Yes, it is.

Wait a second--

Ginger wig,

Ginger pants.

My shirt?

I get it.

Darren...

I knew Ginger wouldn't show up

because she thinks football's stupid.

LOIS: Just a second, officers.

I'll get them for you.

Carl!

Hoodsey!

Out!

Now!

Keep your shirt on, Lola.

We're coming. Uh...

Can I help you, officers?

There's been reports

of some "bad tea" in the neighborhood.

Have you boys been...

making tea?

Mmm, no.

[teakettle whistling]

Aw, that's Blake Gripling's company.

Uh, that's G-R-I-P-L-I-N-G.

We have documentation to that effect.

[lightly tapping drum]

You liked that move, huh?

Definitely.

Very cool.

Did you learn that one from Will?

Oh, please...

He learned it from me.

Come on.

Uh-huh.

MACIE: Darren...

can we talk to you?

Uh, I'll catch up with you later.

Bye.

What?

Okay, it's true.

Ginger didn't come,

but not because she didn't want to.

It's because Zorsky...

Who totally has it in for her.

gave her Saturday detention.

All day.

So she couldn't go to the game

even if she wanted to.

Which she did, want to.

She should have just told me the truth.

Darren, just try

to put yourself in Ginger's shoes.

Why don'tyouput yourself in Ginger's shoes

because you've already got her pants, her hair

and my shirt.

I want that back, by the way.

Darren...

This is a big day for me.

So you know what?

I'm going to go hang out

with the people who support me.

Hey, hey, hey, wait up!

DARREN: Wait up, guys!

[chanting]: Darren, Darren, Darren...

[laughter and conversation]

Sorry, Darren.

Foutley...

Why are you out here?

I was... I-I had to...

No reason.

Well, you just bought yourself

another Saturday.

[snickers]

Great.

At least now I know

I have plans next weekend.

HOODSEY: Bloodsucking fiend! F