03x13 - Kiss Today Goodbye

[bunniefuu]

♪ Someone once told me th♪ On the other side. r ♪

♪ Well, I paid a visit

♪ While it's possible I missed it ♪

♪ It seemed different yet exactly the same ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

♪Till further notice♪

♪ Till further notice

♪I'm in between♪

♪ I'm in between

♪From where I'm standing♪

♪ From where I'm standing

♪ My grass is green.

♪ Someone once told me the grass is much greener ♪

♪ On the other side.

DODIE: Friday, October , : p.m.

This is positively the most difficult letter

I've ever had to write.

No...

The most difficult letter...

Hi, Dodie!

Coming to the big game tonight?

Wouldn't miss it, Arnie!

[sighs]

It's tougher than you know.

Anyway, it all began at this very spot.

[cheering]

We were there, all three of us.

But maybe one of us was a bit less present than the others.

I really believed that day was a turning point

in our many years relationship.

[humming]

Whoa!

Dodie!

Sorry, Ginge, but all the pep girls

are copying figure-skating moves these days; I have to practice.

You do know that you're not technically on the pep squad?

And cement floors are no stand-in for ice.

When I'm called I must be ready.

And, oh, I will be called.

Oh... I don't get it.

It seems so silly.

Hey! Do I call your rock band silly?

Actually you do.

MACIE:Girls...

We're each carving

individual high school destinies.

Take me for example:

I stand poised to break up with Andrew.

You are, Macie, really?

His time has come.

I've thought about breaking up by letter,

but I don't want to put undue strain

on his lazy eye.

Too bad.

To quote Cicero, "A letter does not blush."

DODIE: Macie was right, of course--

about everything.

And I would soon realize

that I can only say these things to you in a letter.

But I'm getting ahead of myself.

WOMAN: Ms. Bishop,

I treasure my lunch hour...

especially on primaveraday.

We get the baby vegetables

once, maybe twice a term.

Scram.

Please, Coach Candace.

I just want you to consider me

as the pep squad's flu-and-cold-season alternate.

I've learned all the routines and pep...

"Is my life."

Wow... so you do understand.

Every year a girl comes in

with that tired refrain

and I tell them the same thing:

"No freshmen on the squad."

Cold-- ugh!

Probably a sign.

I've been meaning to go low-carb.

But who has time for broiling chicken?

Coach Candace, I've got time.

Huh?What?

I told Coach Candace

I'd make her delicious, low-carb lunches.

Isn't that brilliant?

It's... kind of kiss-uppy.

Not to mention potentially dangerous,

if you don't know her food aversions, allergies and such.

I bought them from Stewart Higsby during seventh period.

She hates all things soy.

Okay, I can work with that.

You're going to spend all your time cooking

just for a chance to say "yay"

at stupid football games?

I hope Darren doesn't hear you calling them stupid.

Oh, Mrs. Foutley,

may I borrow your food scale?

Sure. I snagged a guy.

Don't need to keep up

with that healthy-eating nonsense anymore.

Kidding.

Jeez, have I taught you nothing?

The coach was very excited

about my willingness to weigh chicken breasts.

This settles it-- we need a bigger house.

Or maybe just fewer impulse buys.

LOIS: Kids, I've been meaning to talk to you about this.

Dave and I are thinking we're going to have to move.

I don't expect it'll be easy on you.

Ginger, it's going to be hard for you

moving away from Darren.

Mom, please.

It's not like we're joined at the hip.

Oh, my mistake.

And how do you feel about leaving the doghouse?

Lola, doghouses can be dismantled

and lovingly reconstructed board by board.

I've seen it on cable.

Could you make sure the new house has a big garage

where my band can practice?

Oh... sure.

Don't hold back the sentiment

for your childhood home here, kids.

I'll miss this house, Mrs. F.

Me, too.

Thanks, girls.

Well, guess I'm house-hunting, then.

Real estate is a tricky business.

I insist upon accompanying you.

I'm stunned.

Me, too.

Hey, Carl!

Can you teach me that spin?

DODIE: So my climb to pep squad began with three ounces of chicken,

half a cup of lettuce and steamed carrots.

Hmm, did you rub it with herbs for flavor?

Is that what you did?

[giggles]

You won't miss the butter-- promise.

[ringing]

Coach Candace's line, Dodie Bishop speaking.

Oh, I'm so sorry, Principal Ericson,

but the coach is in an important meeting

and cannot be disturbed.

Is there a message?

ALL: Darvy Mills, he's our man!

If he can't do it, no one can!

Technically, that was fine, girls,

but I think it could use a little more heart.

Don't you, coach?

I'm all about heart.

Try it again.

Let's use another player's name.

How about... Darren Patterson?

Darren Patterson, he's our man.

If he can't do it...

Ow! Ankle.

[everyone voicing concern]

Dodie, ice pack, ASAP.

GIRL: Look at her go.

[chattering]

Excuse me.

Ow.

No, Orion, it's not finished yet.

I don't have the, you know, hook.

Come on, show me-- you know you want to.

Okay, but I warned you, it's missing something.

DODIE: Look out!

Coming through!

Pep squad injury!

Dodie, have you seen Darren?

Um, football practice starts in half an hour.

That late?

I was hoping he could walk me home.

Got my scooter.

I'll ride you.

Thanks.

Uh, Dodie, will you tell Darren

I've gone home?

I'm not a messenger girl.

I've got a medical emergency!

Go, Goats, go!

Go, Goats, go!

Go, Goats, go!

Go!

SIMONE: Way to go, team!

I've got... the kit.

Is that on our food plan?

Don't go there, Dodie.

Okay, squad, looks like the football team

is champing at the bit to practice,

so let's quit early.

I don't know what the team would do without you.

There aren't too many people

with the Patterson passing arm.

[gasps]

DODIE: You may be wondering

why I didn't just forget what I saw and mind my own business.

I'll tell you why.

We've been friends a long time.

What would you do if you saw someone flirting with someone

who was not that someone's girlfriend?

I knew it.

Andrew has his eye on another.

Never mind.

I'm probably imagining the whole thing.

And I thought you broke up with Andrew, anyway.

I couldn't do it.

I'm considering sending an emissary

to deliver the news.

Chet Zipper has graciously volunteered.

Macie, that's so third grade.

Oh, good point.

Maybe Andrew will think I'm immature

and he'll break up with me before I break up with him.

You mean, before Chet breaks up with him.

[call answering beeping]

Oh, hold on.

Hello?Hi, Dode.

I was just wondering if you told Darren

that I got a ride home with Orion.

And not that he'd be jealous or anything;

but he hasn't called me.

Darren?

What makes you think I saw Darren today?

Because there's football practice right after pep.

Nope, no, no, I didn't see him.

Um, I had to wash out Coach Candace's sweatbands.

What's wrong?

Don't you believe me?

I just can't believe

you're doing her laundry now.

Ginger Foutley, you're not even trying

to understand my love of pep,

which has led me into a very complicated situation.

[call answering beeping]

Oh, I've got to go.

Macie's on the line.

Bye.Bye.

Sorry, Macie.

What's going on?

Nothing.

Hey, can you ask Chet Zipper

to tell Darren to call Ginger?

Ohh!

DODIE: Anyway, the next day was key.

It's "Go, Goats, go," not "Go, go, Goats."

There's a difference-- hear it?

[pep girls agreeing]

And someone tell Simone.

Oh, I'll tell her, CC.

I've been taking notes.

[laughing]

Good job.

Oh, Dodie,

can you rinse out any dirty uniforms

that the girls don't have time

to take home and wash themselves?

Me? I mean, of course.

Good girl.

And that chicken Dijon, a keeper.

See you all tomorrow.

It's no problem.

S-see you tomorrow.

Do you require starch?

[groans]

Oh!

Hey, Dode, you know Simone?

Well, of course I know of her,

but we've never formally spoken...

or informally--

not that you've ignored me.

Dodie, meet Simone.

Simone, Dodie.

One of my oldest and best friends.

Then I hope she'll be

one of my best friends, too.

Hi.

Girls dump the uniforms on you?

Oh, I don't mind.

Come on...

I'll show you where the washing machine is.

There's a washing machine?!

I've been scrubbing my hands raw!

Coach's secret.

Isn't she great?

Simone knows everything.

Not quite.

Later, Diesel.

Uh, no offense to your gender, Mom,

but are you sure these directions are correct?

Yep, this is it.

He mentioned something

about an open trench around the house.

[flushing]

I hear the previous owner was a Russian mystic--

a direct descendant of Rasputin.

He was rumored to make yogurt

in his basement to feed his ravens.

Cool, huh?

Yogurt?

Need I remind you, those are live cultures.

Add feathered pets and a damp winter

and you've got completely unsanitary conditions.

Negative.

What'd I tell you?

Weird as they come.

Uh, there's been an unpardonable error.

We are not in the market for a house.

We'll be in touch.

[doorbell rings]

And just when I thought things couldn't get more complicated...

Hi.

I'm here to try to understand your love of pep.

Go, Goats, go!

[insincerely]: Wow.

Yeah.

Okay.

[clapping]

Yeah.

Do you really think I'm good?

I really do.

I'm sorry I wasn't more supportive before.

I guess I have some stuff on my mind.

Oh, I am good, aren't I?

[giggles]

I've just learned so much from Simone.

She's just... [gasps]

She seems pretty talented, if that's your thing.

If what's your thing?

You know-- cheerleading.

Oh, she's good at lots of other things.

DODIE: The next day, the pep squad girls

actually called me by name.

Here you go.

For you.

No problem.

DODIE: And it's all because of Simone.

It was like I was one of them.

I'll get this right back to you.

You like the tri-fold, am I right?

Sounds like our Miss Simone's in love.

[girls giggling]

She's right, I am.

You have to tell me everything about Darren.

Darren... Patterson?

Of course, silly.

I need to know everything

if I'm going to ask him out.

Ask him out?!

Are you okay?

You look a little sick.

I... I have to...

I have to go... um, feed my ferret.

[gasps]

Oh.

DODIE: I know that I should have told you then

that I knew what was going on, but I just couldn't.

You see, Simone needed me for something now.

It was important to my pep career.

Remember-- pep is my life.

Hey, stranger.

I thought maybe you moved and didn't tell me.

Darren's been busy with practice.

I-I see him on the field all the time.

Yeah, I-I have been pretty busy.

Me, too-- with my new band, I mean.

Speaking of bands--

Marching Nut Grunge.

There's Andrew.

[Andrew playing jazz while dog barks]

I'd better go break the news

of our impending non-dating status.

Apparently Chet wasn't up to the task.

Wish me luck.

Luck. Luck.

I have to fill the paper towel dispenser before first bell.

Buy you a hot chocolate?

Can't-- I'm in training.

Are you coming to the game tonight?

I mean... I mean, you don't have to.

If you have band practice, I mean.

I, um, wouldn't miss it.

How did this happen?

Darren and Simone?

Darren and Simone.

SIMONE: Has a nice ring, doesn't it?

[gasps]

What's new with Darren?

And no running off to feed your... raccoon.

Ferret.

Oh, it doesn't matter.

You do know that Darren is just a freshman,

and you must be what, pushing ?

Yeah, but Darren's so mature.

Okay, tell me.

What's his favorite food?

Um... well, he does love the corn.

But the person who would know isGinger.

Ginger Foutley?

That's right.

They live next door to each other.

Simone, there's something I have to tell you.

Darren has a... a...

Spill it, girlfriend,

or I'll never teach you another cheer.

[school bell rings]

A pet ferret!

He has one, too.

Oh!

DODIE: It was a terrible lie, I admit.

I couldn't face anyone.

Not even Macie, who had her own issues at the moment.

Can we talk?

I think something's up with Darren.

DODIE: I couldn't face it.

I'm so ashamed.

Twice I played the ferret card.

Emergency at home!

Sick ferret!

[groans]

WOMAN: The turret was added on in the late 's.

That's s, by the way.

It adds a cozy square feet.

There's moss on these walls.

Yes, it's the latest trend.

Bring the outdoors in.

[rats squeaking]

What do you think, Carl?

CARL: What's that lump on the bed?

The turret is currently leased.

[lump groans]

How long has he been here?

I really can't say.

His meals are delivered through that window.

One can often see a shadowy figure late at night,

scaling the walls.

Isn't that interesting, Carl?

Decidedly not.

Miss Winslow,

what kind of oddballs do you take us for?

The Foutleys want a home,

not a house of horrors.

[grunts angrily]

WOMAN: Is this place drenched in sunlight?

Did you see those tongue-and-groove cabinets?

Oh, and the gas-burning fireplace, huh?

Ah... now, this is more like it.

Come on, let's find the listing agent.

I think he's found us.

Buddy Baker, at your service.

Carl Foutley.

We're in the market for a four-bedroom, ½ bath

with a state- of-the-art kitchen,

preferably with a built-in rotisserie grill.

Then you're in luck.

And how do hand-carved granite countertops sound?

If they're from New Hampshire,

then music to my ears, Buddy.

[chuckles]: Well, then, get ready for the string section, Carl.

[laughs]

[fan whooshing]

Hmm, nice cabinets.

Tongue-and-groove, I presume?

Say, you're a sharp kid.

Love the blazer.

Care to take a gander at the second level?

LOIS: In a minute, Buddy.

My son and I need to have a little talk.

Confab all you want.

I've got nothing but time.

Plus, plus and an extra plus for attentive agent.

Carl, not that I wouldn't give my eyeteeth

for hand-carved granite,

but didn't you like any of those weird houses I took you to?

You have to ask?

They were a dream come true.

The hard part would be choosing just one.

For a minute there, I thought I lost my son.

You weren't seriously considering

any of those rat traps, were you?

Well, frankly, no.

Dave would never agree to a castle

and I happen to like indoor plumbing.

I just figured you'd get bored looking at real houses.

You took me on phony house hunts?

Well, I enjoy spending time with you.

Is that a crime?

I thought we'd have a few laughs.

You know, you're growing up and...

Mom, say no more.

But, just so you know,

I was completely committed to serious house shopping.

You were?

Well, the way I see it,

it's my last duty as man of the house

before, you know, Dave steps into the role.

Aw, Carl, that's so sweet.

[blows nose]

[strumming gently]

♪ It's not bad, really

♪ Just a tiny splinter

♪ Like a stubborn leaf

♪ In the dead of winter

♪ Just a tiny splinter

♪ In my heart.

Wow.

Is your song about Darren?

I'm not sure.

Ginger, you're my best friend, so I have to tell you something.

Darren is...

SIMONE:Dodie!

I've been looking all over for you.

Hi. Ginger, right?

Yeah.

Hi, Simone.

So, the coach wantsyou

to introduce us tonight before the game.

Interested?

You mean, go out there?

Like... like a member of the actual pep squad?

[laughs]

It's a start.

[squeals]

[laughing]

Whee!

[drums pounding and whistle blowing]

[band playing upbeat tune]

[applause and cheers]

[clears throat]

And lastly, please,

no feeding peanuts to the goat during half time.

Our Chewy is getting chunky.

Hmm?

Oh, one more thing.

[clears throat]

"Macie Lightfoot regrets that she is no longer available

"to go out with Andrew Starling

due to rigorous band commitments?"

People, this is not a chat room!

Seemed the best way.

She's so dedicated to her art.

What a woman!

[crowd cheering]

[giggling]

No fancy stuff out there.

Remember, you're still a freshman.

[band playing introduction]

Welcome to the Lucky High Sea Eagles game.

It is my fortunate privilege

to introduce our very own pep squad.

[band plays introduction]

Go, Goats, go!

[crowd cheers]

All right, Dodie.

[chuckles]

Oh...

PEP SQUAD: We're the Goats and we're proud,

We stand out in the crowd,

And so we say it loud.

[bleating]

[crowd cheering]

DODIE: So in the end, I just couldn't tell her.

I just couldn't be responsible for that splinter in her heart.

That's why I wrote this letter.

That's whyyouhave to tell Ginger, Darren.

Your friend always, Dodie Bishop.

ANDREW: She's so dedicated to her art.

What a woman!