01x02 - Episode 2

[bunniefuu]

what a beautiful day

what a view

ah how you doing

doing a little ladder testing today

wow this one seems to hold up pretty

good

with the old maxwell stamp of approval

on this baby

nice day huh feels great

you like the cartwrights you know all of

them rolled into one

put on the old work shirt work up the

sweat

sweat like a son of a guy

doing what i can loving what i do

there's nothing like working with your

two hands to me

uh to me see even that that's that's

good because that

that makes you feel alive in a certain

way you know what i mean

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um

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kitty what is it what happened oh

that's my stupid thumb i i hit it with a

hammer oh

yeah let me have a look at sit down yeah

i don't know how it happened

you say that 75 of all accidents occur

right in the home

yeah it happened to anybody this time it

happened to me

let me get the eye down i don't know you

know things like this have been

happening a lot lately i don't

understand it funny thing is i don't

seem to mind it

i don't know whether it's the fresh air

the food or what

like that breakfast this morning steak

and eggs

biscuits waffles grits

did you like the corn fritters are the

corn fritters listen can we do that

again tomorrow please

look this is gonna sting so hold on

mm-hmm that's so cool yeah that's

yeah that's good oh you're good at this

administration huh it is what i do for a

living

such as it is what are you thinking

about

i was uh just thinking about all those

stars we counted out the window last

night

did you make a wish on one didn't have

to

got everything i need right here

you know what i wish right we should go

see your daddy

now why would you say something like

that it's on my mind

you know he's here he's over at the va

yeah

i see him a couple times a month seems

only right that you should

pay your respects seeing how you are his

only son yeah

right wow

he wants to see me

he can come over here he can't he's in a

wheelchair

well that's too bad slack

well i'll go see him when i feel like it

you haven't seen him in 25 years so

boy you're a hard case aren't you

i'm a hard case you didn't know stan

maxwell

big stan that's what they used to call

them

big chest big boys big hairy knuckles

big leather belt with the bull moose on

the buckle

he used to work about 16 hours a day or

with the crankshaft shop

he'd come home at night not in a real

good mood

he'd wave that belt around his head to

scare the hell out of my mom and me

and then he'd uh do real nice fatherly

things like if i made a little noise if

he was listening to his favorite radio

program he had to

throw a steel tip work boot at my head

and my mom she didn't fare much better

i i don't know why she took it

in fact i asked her once

i said what makes you get up

in the morning

she said it's the clock slam

when the clock goes off i get up

she was a saint kitty

she served her time with him

so did i

when i left this place i swore i'd never

see that man again

slap i understand hard times and

families

why don't you bury the hatchet

forgive and forget

you know i i see him on my rounds

he's not all you say he is i mean he

he's kind of gentle and sweet

never threw nothing at me

wow

but maybe it's because you never made a

noise when he was playing the radio

i told him you'd come see him i know

it's none of my business but i did it

i hope you forgive me

i gotta run

kitty

i can't go over there you know what my

horoscope said today

said i should spend the evening with

somebody special

meet me at jake's after my shift

charlie do you know anything about these

um what are they

they're flowers charlie

actually miss walton i do know a little

bit about them

they're um they're from a secret admirer

from slab no they couldn't be from slap

they're alive

they're from me miss ralston charles

wilson as a token of my sincerest thanks

for being so kind with me and

with all that's happened what do you

mean charlie miss ralston

i want you i need you yeah charlie i

thought we talked this all over the

other day

yes but then i asked myself how often

does an opportunity like this come along

and i had to tell myself not very often

charlie

oh you'll get over it believe me in

another 20 years

all you'll remember about this are my

legs

thanks ralston i'm putty in your hands

uh okay

but still i i think we made the right

decision

now we've just got to get on with our

lives

you've got to go your way and i've got

to see nelson

you'll write a sports column no way

howard i'm telling you nelson

right now there is a sports writer

inside me trying to get out what do you

want

you're looking at a man who is no

stranger to coits the latest circulation

figures chief

they're way down i'm gonna make my move

today no more b*ating her on the bobcat

i'm gonna follow my nose on this one

nelson do you mean you're gonna replace

slap with somebody out of a folder

somebody we don't even know you're darn

tootin i'm replacing the primavera

lock stock and sinker i thought you said

we weren't gonna have any sports column

at all

i'm higher in this guy it reads like

silk off a spoon

and look at that handle even sounds like

a sports writer

lou harper sounds like a guy with a

mortgage and six mouths to feed

he's due here at 11. show him in right

away

nelson i really think you should give

this some more thought

now we've all lost a valuable person in

slab and besides if you hire somebody

else what's gonna happen when slap comes

back

look far be it from me to burst your

appendix

but the man is not coming back and i'm

telling you now

unless this harper guy turns out to be

some kind of carpet sweeper

i'm hiring him this afternoon

hey big juke hey dutch give me the usual

two fingers of something diabetic

running a special today

anything green half off plus all the

maraschino cherries you can eat

make it a double what's the occasion in

case we have to detail it for the

paramedics

i don't know what's happening to me

dutch driving to work this morning i saw

a dead bird by the side of the road

reminded me of my life believe i've seen

that same bird from time to time

nelson doesn't think slap's coming back

what do you think dutch

have you heard anything from him

not a people well if you had

would you know whether or not he's all

right not have you ever known our slap

not to be

harper didn't show harper harbor who

the guy was gonna get to phil's slap

spot my monkey's really cooked that this

guy's a no-show

i've got no other prospect you know

there's an amazing lack of black

colonists on that paper i noticed

in this whole southwest area i noticed

why do you think that is nelson

well i'm not making a pitch for myself

you understand but you could do a lot

worse

first it was judy then howard's walking

around with a baseball cap

now you what do i look like a featherbed

you got a glass of water or someplace to

clean up

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are you krueger yeah

the guy with the beetle haircut back at

the office he told me i'd find you here

oh you found me who the hell are you i'm

your new sports writer

harper call me lou

[Music]

a and e we'll be right back with daphne

coleman in slap maxwell

amd is back with dabney coleman as slap

maxwell

how late am i anyway blade ain't the

problem well i ran a lemon rolled down

by some cactus somewhere it must be 150

degrees out yeah that's why they call it

a desert i had to walk the last eight

miles

well if you put a picture on your resume

this would have never happened lou

harper what kind of a name is that for a

woman

short for louise i didn't say louise it

said lou and that's what i was expecting

a lou

well let's just say that's the last time

i'll disappoint you

where's my desk what are you talking

about i ain't giving you a desk you're a

woman

oh trying to use logic on me huh hey

wait a minute you got something chiseled

in stone that says a woman can't hurt

sports what are you some kind of

misogynist

a presbyterian what's religion got to do

with it the point being

you hate women only when they write

sports oh

well that's logical look i need somebody

to haul the lemons fill the jugs not

somebody who's going to open a daycare

center right after maternity leave and

you hate kids too

i love kids i'm not married but you're

likely to be

someday suppose you fall in love with

somebody who wants you to move to east

uranus with him

what do i do i'm not going anywhere

nelson i like it here

already look don't take offense it's

been a long day and you're not exactly

what i had in mind besides

you're sitting in my chair

did you read my stuff yeah it's good

isn't it yeah

well you might as well call off your

search right now because you're not

gonna do any better than me

i just walked eight miles through

flintstone country to get here so you

could tell me i don't fit your dubious

requirements

and i haven't broken your nose yet i'm

showing a lot of restraint for a sports

writer

especially the kind this paper tends to

favor

what's that supposed to mean i know who

i'm replacing

i know he was good i also know he left

you under a big black cloud well guess

what

here's your silver lining i don't need

the lining i need the whole damn coat

just let me show you what a real writer

can do

that's all i'm asking and let's just say

i don't mind seeing a lot of guys

soaping up in the shower while i prove

my point

my job is writing about people and the

games they play and i'm

real good at my job you should remember

that because if it ever comes to a

showdown

and you have to choose between my riding

and slap maxwell's

you would know what in the world to do i

suppose you're a hard worker too

i am i'm knocking the ball

right out of the park right now and you

don't exactly know why you can't quite

put your finger on why i intrigue you

but i do come on nelson

you're a newsman what's your gut telling

you

i know what mine's telling me we're

gonna do business here because

i'm your man

that's it mr maxwell i'm calling the

supervisor what is she saying you've got

to do something for the circulation

right just deposit writing time for your

bath

all right come on you're breaking up my

game

come on come on who wants to play cards

here

i do pop peel me in

[Music]

you're standing in my light

in or out how are you pop

you sticking you ain't got it

well that was a lot of fun pop what are

you doing here

i live here not you him

he came to see you you still doing

whatever

whatever it is you do yeah don't

sabbatical

don't research just passing through town

went up to the old house stan who is he

aubry um would you excuse us

we we haven't seen each other in uh at

25 years

i think you got something there those

damn

democrats already i said shut up

so what do you want

just want to see if you're okay

i'm not dead that's what you were hoping

for no

he wasn't heard you got married

that's right got a kid too a boy

big boy very tall he's a writer too

just like his old man that's so yeah

matter of fact uh he's he's very proud

of me these days i uh

i sort of won this award well i didn't

sort of i've

i actually won this award which is a

pretty big deal there's a

magazine my pictures right there on the

cover oh any girls in there

take it easy bob this old couch driving

me crazy somebody had to sh**t him

why don't you just throw a boot at him

provo time's sake i don't need you

around here either

well as a matter of fact this wasn't my

idea

i wouldn't even be here kitty hadn't

suggested i'd come over here

kitty huh ain't that the way some panty

waste you letting a woman tell you what

to do

you just just

speak up bubba what are you stuttering

now too huh

look at you i'm getting mad huh you want

to take a poke at me

well go ahead see if you can whip an old

man

in a wheelchair

i'm still tough enough to send you

yelping out of here turning tail just

like you used to do

never ran from you that's what you say

damn it bob

don't you ever let him i really tick you

off don't i

yeah you do

our visiting hours are over i'm leaving

that's not true you know what that fella

says in that article about me working in

the factory i was a farmer

you tell them that when your mom didn't

have to sew her own clothes she did it

because she liked it

you tell him i'll straighten him out

let me know

well i don't know about that i'm not

real sure i'll be back through here

i'm not sure i want you to fine

put me for it you get high cut you won't

have to come back here for another 25

years

low-cut you bring me a case of beer

it's a deal

go for it son gopher ah you whack em

over the head with a shovel

so you b*at him

tied both to a three of hearts

i should have told you about those decks

over the va

i'll tell you thank you i'll tell you

one thing

he is still full of hell i walked in

that place i felt like a six-year-old

kid in short pants

[Music]

but you know for a minute there i

thought maybe

maybe we could settle something maybe

maybe not

you're glad you went to see him yeah

i should have fought him though i think

i think maybe i could take him now maybe

with him dragging that iv

around

[Music]

no you're looking better you're not

scowling tonight

i feel easy with you i feel like no time

has passed at all i mean i

picture you 16 years old most

vivacious cowgirl i've ever seen in my

life slap

i don't know what mirror you're looking

into but i'm not that girl you remember

are you sure no i'm not i don't want to

be

i wouldn't go back and do that all again

for all the tea in china

those are pretty good for some

hey you know what happened to my story

today

what story a soap oh it came out just

the way i

thought it was pamela's doing

you know she's a little i told you

that

[Music]

i do

do you ever feel like just packing up

and leaving this

town getting restless huh no i'm happy

it's a bear in the basement

what's that mean i don't know

i just heard someone say it one time

i feel like raising a little hell here

why don't we see if we can

find ourselves a mechanical bull maybe a

drive-in with some adult movies

4-h is holding its second annual corn

chuck

ooh one sh*t yeah that could be fun not

often you get to see a good corn shuck

i'll say it was gonna be good well

that's a beauty part you never know do

you

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a and e will be right back with slap

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maxwell

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wow

[Music]

wow

you