01x03 - Brain Suckers of Skuldeth 5

[bunniefuu]

♪

(Honking)

Whoa!

Whoa!

Ah!

♪

♪

BOYSBrain Suckers of

Skuldeth !

(Crunch)

(Slurping)

Hey, guys.

Hair dryer’s busted again?

Can’t talk now.

Battle stations!

(Humming funny song)

Suck brain!

Suck brain!

It’s so nice to have friends

who don’t follow the crowd, who

don’t do something just because

it’s popular.

Don’t you guys see this whole

Brain Sucker deal is a gimmick

to scam gullible kids out of

their money.

(Chuckling)

Brain BlenderI throw you!

Armless NormanI throw you!

Prepare to meet your

multi-legged doom, Armless

Norman!

Brain Blender, I’m going to

take out your teeth and use them

to eat your head!

(Panting)

(Thud)

You forgot, you have three

left feet!

Yeah, but I also have three

left socks.

(Sizzling)

(Laughing)

Curse my puree buttons, it’s

Slime Spitter!

Uh, Goon.

Actually, that would make it

game over because Slime Spitter

can only technically be defeated

by Faceless Jeff.

Are you guys sure you didn’t

suck a little too hard on those

straws?

Get real!

No one’s ever seen a Faceless

Jeff card.

Some say they don’t exist, like

’A’s on a report card.

BOTHBrain Suckers!

Huh??

You guys paid eight dollars for

a couple of straws you could get

for free at Burger Barrel?

(Blowing)

Okay, yours haven’t been used

before--

Hey boys, look at the losers

playing their little card games.

I can’t believe you pathetic

wimps are so pathetic and so

wimpy you collect Head Sniffers!

Actually, it’s Brain Suckers.

Boyd, please, don’t agree

with me!

You’ll turn my whole world

upside-down.

(Slurping)

Sewer Suckers?

That is so last week.

(Honking)

What a bunch of sheep.

It’s so immature.

If I collected those dumb

things, where would I even put

them?

I’d have to move my Continental

Girls, my Queenie Babies, and

the nail polish rack for my

Teenage Backstreet Lizard Girls.

(Boinging)

I don’t get what the big deal

is!

Maybe I’ll buy one pack of these

dumb cards, have a good laugh,

and then throw them away.

Brain Suckers!

Brain Suckers!

(Slurping)

Faceless Jeff!

Faceless Jeff!

Gargulizer.

Armless Norman.

Come on, Faceless Jeff!

I’m going to need you if I’m

going to b*at Ace and Good in

tomorrow’s Intergalactic

Brain-off.

"I am Armless, Sniffing

Jimmy!"

(Inflating)

Say, could you scratch my middle

nose?

Whoo, that’s better!

You know, ’til you’ve got three

noses, you never really know how

bad your chin smells.

(Squirting)

Hey, I’ve got some important

advice for you.

Yeah?

What is it?

Oh, you won’t need it for a

week.

I just came by to find out where

you’ll be next Wednesday at

five.

Hey, this is cool!

You’ve got some advice I’m

going to need next week?

Tell me now!

Nah, it won’t mean anything

now.

Shoo!

Just tell me.

Okay, here it is.

Plums.

Plums?

You interrupted my search for

the most valuable, wonderful

trading card in the entire

universe for plums?

Told you it wouldn’t mean

anything.

Well, I’m late for a party in

another dimension.

Here comes the Alternate

Universe Express.

See you!

Plums.

Um, Dad, can I have my allowance

so I can buy some more Brain

Sucker cards, and more Brain

Sucker hats, and more Brain

Sucker underwear, and more Brain

Sucker suckers?

Now, Pelswick, you get your

allowance on Saturday.

But the store’s open now!

I couldn’t help but overhear

your touching tale of need.

I have a little money put aside.

I’ll buy your bed, your ninja

pyjamas, and all your CDs for

fifteen bucks.

(Gasps)

Get real!

I’m a fan, I’m not an addict!

Ha ha ha!

Yes, yeehaw!

Ha, I win!

You lose!

I’ll take your Toe Sniffer and

your Flame Thrower, thank you.

I win, I win, I win!

I’m the brain-sucking champion!

Another match?

(Emotional)No, I, uh, have

to talk to somebody first.

You see anything?

They’re plums.

They’re round, they’re two

dollars each, they’re the same

colour as a bruise I got falling

off a speaker tower at

Seniorpalooza.

Waaah!

(Thump)

What am I supposed to see?

I don’t know.

I just need--

Oh, the advice of an older,

wiser relative?

--more cards!

Toe Jammer, I throw you!

Excellent move.

What’d you have to do for that

extra card money?

Not much, just sleep on the

floor in my underwear while not

listening to music.

JULIEPelswick, not you too!

Um, I didn’t want Ace and

Goon to feel bad, so, you know,

I went to the store and I picked

up, uh, packs.

Ooh, check it out!

A Volupticon Launch Pod!

Braineriffic!

It’s a casserole dish!

Some company probably realized

they weren’t selling, and that’s

how this whole thing got

started.

Our badly-made casserole

dishes aren’t selling!

Our pointless, violent action

toys aren’t selling.

I have a half-hour kids show

to produce, and no ideas!

No, Julie, it’s more than

that.

It’s a way of life.

(Horn sound)

It’s a giant infomercial!

Except at the end, you don’t

have a better hair care system,

you’ve just got a bunch of silly

cards in a binder the size of a

car engine.

You’re right!

What was I thinking?

I should just--

Hey, cool shoes!

(Sigh)

I’ll give you a nickel for

the light bulb.

(Sniffs)

Jeff, Jeff, where are you

Jeff?

Hiya, Pelswick.

Hi Mr. Lipkirk.

Wow, nice Armless Norman

costume.

Is that a Faceless Jeff shirt?

Nah, just a plain shirt.

The Faceless Jeffs look just

like it but they’re fifty bucks.

Whoa!

I’ll just put my money on the

counter.

Bye!

Spatulon!

Vacuuchewer.

Kidney Swallower!

It’s only fair to warn you:

I’m circulating this petition to

ban Brain Suckers merchandise

from school grounds.

What?

Why?

Stink Finger!

Because it’s distracting

students from their work.

Kidney Barfer!

Excuse me, what?

Julie?

Slime Spitter.

You lose, unless you’ve got a

Faceless Jeff.

Ha ha ha.

I don’t think so!

(Sighs)

Hmm.

Should I place them

alphabetically, or in order of

spooky alien gruesomeness?

Want to play a small

elimination match tonight?

A small one?

Sure.

Best games out of ?

Okay.

It’ll have to be at your place.

I don’t have a light or desk, or

any furniture anymore.

Ramulon, Chin Devourer--

I only need one card for a

complete set!

Aw Jeff, where are you?

Carmine’s eating a "BLT":

Boogers, Loogies, and Toenails.

(Vomiting)

Aren’t you supposed to be

bullying Willy Carnell?

He had a dentist’s

appointment.

We had to reschedule.

Nutritious?

Yuck!

Fruit.

Yuck!

Brain Sucker cards.

(Yelps)

What do they think, I’m five?

Spatulot, Rigor Tortoise--

What a joke!

Faceless Jeff.

(Coughs and spits)

Uh, you got a, uh--

Did you, uh, say, uh, faceless

something or other?

My bully sense is tingling.

Is this card worth something to

you?

"Worth something"!?

Uh, no, not really.

Can I just see it?

Or smell it?

Or hug it, or anything?

If it’s not worth anything,

then I’ll just tear it up.

Noooooooo!

You’d do anything for this,

wouldn’t you?

Oh ho ho ho, this is too good!

You’re at my complete and total

mercy.

Help me, O Magic Plums, O

wisest of the fruit kingdom.

How do I get that card?

Just point your plummy stems

toward the answer.

GRANDMAOne-hundred and ten

pounds!

Oh, this thing’s rigged!

It’s bogus!

It’s whack!

I want my money back and as many

prunes as I can swallow.

Wahhh!

Can I just hold it for a

second?

No, but I’ll let you see the

back if you say something nice

about me.

Something nice?

Something nice, yeah, sure, um:

you smell way, way better than a

rhino’s butt.

I resent that.

Really?

Thanks.

(Heavenly music)

Don’t touch!

Card Number , Faceless

Jeff.

Let me see the front!

I can say something else nice

about you if you give me a day

or two to think--

Here, take my lunch!

This is too easy.

Oh man, he’s beautiful.

What do you want for it?

Good question.

I’m going to have to think about

that one.

Great, then I’ll never know.

Wah, sorry!

Force of habit!

You think all the time!

You think all the time!

No don’t go, please don’t!

Come back!

Faceless Jeff!

Nooooooooo!

(Windy sounds)

(Eerie sounds)

Got you!

Actually, you don’t.

This is just a dream.

What do you want?

Thought I’d give you the

second half of next week’s

adviceit’s plums.

But the first part was plums.

These are different plums.

Oop, got to go; you’re waking

up.

(Grunt)

It’s too lumpy.

You can have it back.

Hey, Pelstwerp.

I figured out what it’ll take

for you to own that card.

You have to do whatever I say

for a week.

A whole three-day week?

That’s right, a whole three--

Hey, don’t try that!

There’s six days in a week.

How do I know you’ll give it

to me?

I can’t believe you don’t

trust me.

After all my years of tormenting

you I thought we have a special

bully-victim relationship.

How about if I hold the card?

You’d do that for me, even

though you’re trying to ban

them?

I disagree with what you

collect, but I’ll defend to the

death your right to collect it.

Deal.

He gets to see it for five

seconds a day.

Your first job’s to catch me up

on all my homework.

No problem.

I should have known he hasn’t

done his homework since the

fourth grade.

(Eerie music)

If only they’d suck Boyd’s

brain.

Of course, then they’d still be

hungry.

(Ringing)

House of Humiliation, Pelswick

speaking.

BOYDI thought of a few more

things you can do for me.

♪

(Yelps)

♪

Oh Plums, why won’t you help

me?

Don’t I buff the housewives’

fingerprints off you every

afternoon?

Don’t I?

If he lunges at the plums,

arrest him.

Two, three, four, four and a

half, four and two halves, five.

Same time tomorrow?

It’s so unfair.

One person doesn’t care about

Faceless Jeff, and that’s who

gets him.

Hey Pelswhip, I figured out

the last thing you have to do

for that little piece of

cardboard.

You and me are going to trade

seats.

Huh?

You want to sit here tomorrow,

next to Julie?

Tomorrow, and for the rest of

the year.

Why?

Because I know it’ll really,

really bug you.

Meet me outside that card store

tonight to tell me if we’ve got

a deal.

Come on, plums.

I can’t wait any longer!

I need your fresh, juicy, three

for a quarter wisdom now!

ALLPlummmmmm.

Is giving up Julie the only

way to get Jeff?

Sure I’d still see her every

day, but I’d see her back.

That’s not the part I like.

I like the front part.

With the smile on it, and the

teeth, and the nose.

But with a Faceless Jeff, I’d

be brainlessly invincible!

ALLPlummmmm.

Boy, the nutcases they get in

here, huh?

This ain’t a lobster; it’s a

skinny crab!

I demand free seafood for a

year!

And more prunes.

Where are you going?

To make the most painful

decision of my life.

Wait a minute.

Three for a quarter?

But who’s going to clean up

the spill on Aisle Nine?

ALLThe plums will provide.

Excuse me, sir.

Weren’t the plums two dollars

each last week?

Yeah, so, last week plums

were out of season.

Today we’ve got all the plums we

can handle.

"Out of season".

I figured it out!

Thank you!

Ah, he has figured it out.

(Gong struck)

Tell us, oh plums.

I was wondering, if you don’t

have a bully at the moment,

maybe I could call you?

Boyd, even though I find

myself at the same time repulsed

by and strangely attracted to

you, at the moment repulsed is

way out in front.

Julie!

I guess this is it.

Give Boyd his card back.

What!?

After every degrading thing you

did for me, you don’t want it?

These cards are like fruit,

Boydtheir value goes up and

down with the supply.

Unlike a friend like Julie,

who’s worth her weight in Slime

Spitters.

Thank you... I think.

You are so bluffing.

I warned you!

(Gasps)

I rip up a rare card to watch

you weep, and you don’t even

blink!

You are so insensitive!

Wahhhhhh!

New shipment just in!

Faceless Jeff cards, five cents

each.

GRANDMAYou can’t ban me for

life!

If I don’t get prunes, I’ll

explode!

♪