♪
(Honking)
Whoa!
Whoa!
Ah!
♪
♪
There’s poor Lemmy Strunk,
the least popular kid in school.
Yeah, he’s so unpopular the
fruit flies actually avoid his
banana.
Poor Lemmy.
What do you think makes someone,
like, unpopular?
Cooties?
PELSWICKThat’s what I
heard.
That’s ridiculous, you guys.
There’s no such thing as
cooties.
If they were real, how far could
they jump?
(Panting)
Did you hear?
Did you hear?
Kid Rock split up and now
he’s Kid Bunch of Gravel?
Hear about what, Sandra?
The new website:
alcatraz-popularity.com.
No one knows who started it, but
every kid in the school is
listed every day in descending
order of coolness, hipness and
fashionableness.
That’s ridiculousness.
I made a printout.
I wanted to tell you now ’cause
I won’t be able to talk to you
after the bell rings.
Why not?
Julie, we’ll always be best
friends, but I am Number on
the list.
I can’t be seen associating with
someone who’s way down in the
mid-hundreds.
Humph!
Where would you be if you were
facedown in the mud?
Ha, all right, rd!
Goon, there are only
kids in the school.
Wow, dude, look where you
are.
Don’t tell me.
I don’t need to know what some
doofus with nothing better to do
thinks of me.
(Ringing)
♪
Actually, statistically,
th isn’t that bad.
I mean, it’s right in the
middle.
It’s, uh, average.
Uh-huh.
My brother’s .
Wow.
What a loser.
Hey, you better vote for me,
Eggert.
Vote?
SANDRAIt’s interactive.
Everyone can vote for five
people a day.
Except themselves.
If you, like, click the little
thumbs up besides someone’s name
they go towards the top of the
list.
If you click thumbs down they go
towards Goon.
BOYDAnd if you sink to the
very bottom, another thumbs
down and you fall into the Loser
Zone.
(Screaming)
(Grunting)
(Gasping)
Guys, what are we, ?
This is just a high-tech version
of being a snob.
I’ve got a voting bloc of ,
Eggert.
They vote how I vote.
You’re either with me or you’re
against me.
Tough choice.
Tsk, tsk.
They’re going to vote against
you.
And you started out so well.
You were at--
I don’t wanna know.
Na-na-na, can’t hear you.
Na-na-na.
Julie, you do see this is
totally bogus, right?
Did you know you were only
five points ahead of Lemmy
Strunk?
Five?
Bu-bu-but Lemmy’s unpopular!
(Ringing)
They don’t even let him leave
the school during fire drill.
(Grunting)
Sorry, Lemmy.
If it’s a real fire we’ll let
you join us.
I mean, not to say I believe
in any of this, but...
I know, it’s unfair.
It’s ridiculous.
But don’t tell anyone I said
that.
KATEHere.
What’s this?
Some jokes.
Toss ’em into the conversation
so you’ll seem funny and people
will want to talk to you.
"Hey, everybody, why did the
traffic light turn red?
Because it saw the other traffic
light changing."
That’s not funny.
What am I, Chris Rock?
Ad lib something.
I can’t have my friends thinking
my big brother’s only four
points above Lemmy Strunk.
Five points!
Not anymore.
Here, I cleaned and cologned
your baseball cap.
And here’s a pocket watch and a
pamphlet for you to read.
"Winning friends through
hypnotism."
Hmm.
♪
No, I can’t.
(Gasping)
CROWDLemmy, Lemmy, Lemmy.
Lemmy, Lemmy, Lemmy, Lemmy,
Lemmy, Lemmy, Lemmy, Lemmy...
No!
(Laughing)
Okay, breath mints, list of
kids who sort of like you and
could go either way, free candy
to toss to other children--
I’m not gonna throw candy at
my friends.
Think of Bobby.
You want him to go through his
school career weighed down by
your backpack of shame?
They can’t do this, son.
I’m talking to other parents at
work today in a strictly
non-confrontational manner, to
fix up this whole mess.
Dad, I can’t be that
unpopular.
Newsflashyou’re points
below Lemmy Strunk.
What?!
♪
Candy!
Free candy!
Get your candy right here!
You are getting very sleepy.
So this monkey gets on a bus,
right?
Psst!
Vice Principal Zeigler?
Please, no names.
If they see me talking to you,
I’m through in this school.
Who’s they?
Boyd, the others, you know,
the popular ones.
But the list is just us kids.
They added the faculty.
I’m only one point ahead of
Sneezella, the cafeteria
supervisor.
(Sneezing)
Why don’t you shut this
whole stupid thing down?
Oh, no.
If I did that they’d vote me
into...the Loser Zone!
Maybe if I shortened the school
day a-and put a free video
arcade in my office then I’d be
popular.
Hi, Ace.
Where are you at today?
.
Huh?
(Gasping)
I picked these myself.
From the grocery store.
(Spitting)
These have seeds!
That’s not what the sign
said.
Maybe you blew a filling.
Three thumbs down for Sandra.
Like, no!
(Screaming)
Why don’t you do something to
stop this?
What, and fall below Mr.
Bladkirk, the Latin teacher?
Today instead of Latin, I’m
going to run around the room and
make funny noises under my arm
with my hand.
♪
(Squeaking)
Hey, "Pels-worthless."
Did you vote for me?
Not that you need to.
I’ve been Number all day.
That’s great.
But you’ll always be Number in
my book.
(Ringing)
A person as well liked as me
shouldn’t have to walk.
Who wants to carry me to my next
class?
Go ahead, pick him up.
You know what, Boyd?
If getting votes means sucking
up to you, I’d rather be uncool.
Right, Lemmy?
ALLOoooh!
I said, heh, "Right, Lemmy?"
Don’t talk to me, dweebo.
Hey, "Pels-dude," you’re the
most popular kid in the entire
school.
I am?
Oops, sorry.
I had the monitor upside down.
Sandra, are you okay?
(Sobbing)
I’ve, like, dropped into the
s.
Oh, so what?
I rose into the s.
It doesn’t mean anything.
I dropped and you gained
?
You’ve got my .
Give me my !
Hi, um, anyone got change
for, um--
(Kids yelling)
Hello?
(Echoing) Hello?
Hello?
Dad, might as well cancel the
phone service.
I don’t think I’ll be needing
it anymore.
Dad?
I don’t believe it.
Sam Carmady’s points ahead of
me?
He’s a known mocker of
endangered species.
(Groaning)
You mean this thing has
spread to where you work?
Whoa!
Thanks a lot, Pelswick.
They started a popularity site
for my school.
I’m already below Morag Strunk.
I’m at the bottom of the
senior popularity list.
But it isn’t hopeless.
I’ve got an idea that’ll put us
all back at Number .
You gather up everyone we know
and I’ll dangle them over a
shark t*nk until they vote for
us.
It could work.
(Printer whirring)
How can I be last?
Don Balmer isn’t even last.
I like herring.
Herring-y, herring-y herring.
(Cat yowling)
You really should recycle
this.
You never know when the tree you
save could be the very one that
hits a truck carrying a load of
broccoli.
Anyway, you got a moment?
I need your help.
You’re supposed to help me.
I happen to have a real problem
here.
Mine’s worse.
Nobody’s talking to me.
Huh?
Yeah, apparently I got on
some web list.
Don’t ask me how it happened.
One day it’s, "Hey, Jimmy, how
you doing?"
The next day, pbbbt!
Nothing.
I don’t believe this.
I’m in something called the
Guardian Angel Loser Zone.
They won’t even call my number
at the seafood counter.
You know how much I love
monkfish.
This is a test, right?
You’re giving me coded advice to
help me.
’Cause I really need you right
now.
Oh, it’s so good to have
someone to talk to me.
(Sobbing)
♪
Hey, what are you doing?
Thanks to you, I’m baking
smiley-faced cookies.
I have to hurry because Dad
needs the oven to make the
vegetarian ratatouille for his
"Let’s all be friends" workplace
cookout and sing-along.
(Guitar strumming)
♪ If you’ll vote for me
Free ratatouille ♪
(Bowl rattling)
KATEHey!
Did I say "Steal a cookie"?
I was gonna be the lead garden
fairy in the school play.
You know what I am now?
Non-Speaking Radish Number .
(Sighing)
Now I know how Kevin Costner
felt after The Postman.
Somebody has to take a brave
stand to stop this craziness.
KATEYou take the brave
stand.
I’m gonna hand out cookies and
prepaid phone cards.
GOONPsst!
Goon?
Please, no names.
What are you doing?
Walking to school with you,
except I’m gonna do it on the
other side of this fence
disguised as a dog.
It was Ace’s idea.
If you see anyone, toss me this
stick.
Where is Ace?
.
No, where is he right now?
In the Media Lab trying to
create a virus that will crash
the website and set us all free.
We don’t need a virus, we can
set ourselves free.
We just have to stop buying into
this stuff.
Don’t you agree?
Absolutely.
(Barking)
(Yelling)
Okay, so where am I this
morning?
You don’t know?
You’re in the Loser Zone, man
How do I get out again?
You have to get thumbs up.
Don’t worry, all your friends
are voting for you.
Oh, uh, yeah.
Right there.
Thank them for me, will you?
You know, if they’re still
speaking to you after they hear
you talked to me.
(Cat meowing)
Excuse me, I have to chase
after this.
(Barking)
(Cat yowling)
(Goon whimpering)
Whoa!
Whoa, whoa!
Whoa!
Unh!
(Sneezing)
I really appreciate this
list of all the kids who’ve
dissed me.
Hey, if they’ve badmouthed
you and they’re higher on the
list than me it’s my pleasure,
Your Bullyness.
Nice.
If I had one of those I would
have quit walking years earlier.
ACEHey, Pelswick.
Hi, Ace.
How’s the hacking going?
Slow, but percent of the
kids I speak to are getting real
tired.
Of what, dressing as dogs and
lockers and stuff?
Actually, no.
Trying to stay popular.
It’s tough, man.
(Screaming)
Hi, Pelswick.
We’re all thinking of you.
I’ll phone you tonight.
(Sighing)
Gee, I could have sworn there
were other kids in the class
with me.
(Coughing)
Good, you’re alone.
Get used to it.
Who’s that?
Dirk.
What’s he, a trainee?
No, Dirk’s a loser too.
Pity, nicest guy.
He was seen with me, one thing
led to another.
We’re hoping you had some
advice.
How can I help you?
Because I chose not to suck up
to Boyd I’m a social outcast.
Even the fish are avoiding me.
Have you tried gluing a
Yummy Worm to your nose?
♪
Do you realize there’s
billions of stars in our galaxy
and billions of galaxies in the
universe?
If even one in a million of
those has planets, and one in a
million of those has life,
there’s still a / chance
we’re less popular than the
Lemmy Strunk of Poldark .
(Speaking alien language)
Oh, well.
At least we’re massively
unpopular together.
Want a happy-face cookie that I
handed out and had thrown back
at me?
Thanks.
Ah, who cares what those
boneheads think.
You don’t understand,
Gram-Gram.
If you’re a kid and you’re not
popular, you’re just-just...
What are you?
Us.
Let me tell you a story.
Now, when I was little there
was a girl in my class who
nobody thought was pretty or
smart.
Who no one thought’d ever grow
up and have a family or any
friends.
You know who that girl was?
You, Gram-Gram?
Me?!
No, not me.
Imelda Palmfreet.
She moved to the desert and
eventually married a rock.
An unemployed rock.
You know, I actually thought
for a second there she was gonna
make sense.
♪
(Sighing)
Whoo, glad we caught you.
So what would your advice be?
Who are all these people?
Please.
Guardian angels.
And there’s more of us losers
on the roof.
And, boy, are we lonely with no
one to talk to but each other.
How could you be lonely?
There are probably more of you
in the Loser Zone than there are
in-in the whole...
Excuse me.
(Gasping)
He dropped a cookie.
Thanks for meeting me.
How are all the people who
aren’t talking to me?
Nervous wrecks.
We’re all worried about dropping
points and keeping Boyd happy.
I’ve got the solution.
All of you, Ace, Sandra, Goon,
go up to Boyd and tell him to go
barf in his hat.
(Gasping)
But that’d make him mad!
Uh-huh.
And if he’s mad, we’ll all
fall into the Loser Zone.
And then...
(Gasping)
And then we’d all be there
together.
If everyone’s at the bottom,
who wants to be all alone at the
top?
I cleaned your shoes, Boyd.
Oh, yeah, and then I filled them
with custard and anchovies.
Huh?
I stood in line and made your
course selections for you.
Actually, though, instead of
Shop and Phys Ed I signed you up
for Advanced Calculus and Square
Dancing.
Boyd?
Here’s that printout you asked
for.
And that bucket of mud over the
head you didn’t!
(Both laughing)
Ha, serves them right.
Everyone in school’s in the
Loser Zone but me.
Hello?
(Echoing) Hello?
Won’t anyone talk to me?
(Echoing) Talk to me?
Could someone vote against me so
I could be a loser too?
(Echoing) Loser too?
Anyone?
(Echoing) Anyone?
Did anyone ever find out who
started that dumb website?
Sure, it was Lemmy Strunk.
Apparently, he just sold the
idea for mondo gigabucks to
Cruel Software.
♪
To Lemmy Strunk, to all my
friends, and to being hugely
unpopular forever.
ALLForever!
(All laughing)
♪
["♪"]
01x12 - Blink And You're At 182
Watch/Buy Amazon
Series is about the title character, who uses a wheelchair, emphasizing that he lived a normal life. It was based on the books created by John Callahan.
Series is about the title character, who uses a wheelchair, emphasizing that he lived a normal life. It was based on the books created by John Callahan.