01x11 - Transmission Impossible

[bunniefuu]

♪

(Honking)

Whoa!

Whoa!

Ah!

♪

♪

♪

(Screaming)

♪

(Sniffing)

PELSWICKDad, what is this?

What are we being punished

for?

Can’t we just scrub floors

instead?

(Chuckling)

You’re not being punished,

but neither should the cows be.

Thus, Humanios, the only cereal

that’s soggy without milk.

Oh, this calls for my

porridge teeth.

Also handy for cleaning dead

flies out of the blinds.

Oh, well.

I guess I can eat anything as

long as I’ve got my morning rock

and roll!

(Music changing)

RADIOYou’re listening to

all-news radio.

No, I’m not.

Oh, yes, you are.

Our top story, we’re changing

format and there’s nothing you

can do about it.

(Slurping)

PELSWICKI want to complain

about your format change.

And about the width of your

doors.

But mostly about your format

change.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, take a

number.

Okay.

(Ripping)

Thirteen and a half.

That was my favourite hat.

This was my favourite radio

station.

Too much rock, too loud, for too

long.

Kid, I bought this station

with the money from my used car

lot.

Now I can advertise my cars on

my radio station, and play my

radio station in my car.

Kids don’t buy cars.

Kids buy fruity pops.

I don’t sell fruity pops.

Go away.

No, I won’t.

Note to self, get trapdoor

that’s wheelchair-accessible.

(Radio tuning)

It’s not fair, Gram-Gram.

They’ve got all-Gregorian chant

radio--

(Mournful singing)

-- they’ve got all-yodelling

radio--

(Yodelling)

RADIOUnder the “B,” .

They’ve even got

all-bingo-number radio.

Hey, leave that on!

But nothing for me and my

friends.

Why don’t you create your own

pirate radio station like I did

when I was a kid?

You had a pirate radio

station?

Oh, you bet ya.

Yes, sirree, Bob!

Arrh, music-lovin’ mateys.

Comin’ at ya from somewhere off

the coast of Bayview, here be

Megadirt!

♪

Yow!

I mean, arrh.

Why’d you stop?

I developed an allergy to

parrot bites.

♪

(Coughing)

GOONCool.

(Buzzing)

What are those things?

PELSWICKVacuum tubes from

back before microchips.

And what are those

dumb-looking things?

ACEThose are your feet,

Goon.

I’m not even sure this stuff

works.

It’s so old it was actually made

in America.

Testing, testing.

You’re tuned to--

Radio station WHEEL.

Puttin’ the roll back in rock

and roll.

♪

So, wherever you are, kids of

Bayview, hanging out at the

beach, working at your weekend

job, or squeezing the excess

grease out of your onion rings

at Burger Barrel, call us up.

We take requests from everyone,

but orders for no one.

(Beeping)

Oh--

(Phones ringing)

Limit one lame boy band request

per hour.

And here’s our first song

request from Quentin in Bayview,

who says, let’s hear some

Megadirt.

♪

What do you think?

The very first request?

I’m honoured.

He called you Quentin.

I thought your name was Mr.

Eggert, Mr. Eggert?

You thought my name was Mr.-

Eggert-Mr.-Eggert?

Not Mr.-Eggert-Mr.-Eggert,

Mr. Eggert.

Just Mr. Eggert, Mr. Eggert.

Hello, Bayview!

The spirit of independent radio

is back on the air!

(Echoing)

♪ WHEEL radio!

All right, so what’s on your

mind, Bayview?

Give me a call.

(Grunting)

We have to do something or

that little four-wheeler is

gonna become popular.

You mean intersecting a

straight line at right angles?

That’s “perpendicular.”

All your radio dials have

been glued to WHEEL?

So what?

What makes you think I did it?

♪

(Gasping)

What the heck are you listening

to that filth for?

Listen to this filth instead.

♪

(Screaming)

This is DJ Rolling P for

WHEEL signing off.

Gram-Gram, come home, wherever

you are.

DISPATCHERCar ,

suspicious man outside bank.

GRAM-GRAMYee-haw!

Forget boring bank robberies,

tune all cars to WHEEL, rock and

roll so good it’s criminal.

Ooh, I could go for a guy in a

uniform.

Yeah.

Darn, I was down to a size

one and I gained it all back.

What do you think?

I think it’s strange that

there’s prune juice but no

raisin juice.

No, about my radio station.

This is a radio station?

That’s great, because I got a

band.

Don’t ask him.

He can’t tell you if you don’t

ask him.

PUPPETA band, Mr. Jimmy?

What’s its name?

Glad you asked, Pelswood.

We’re called Smack O’ Froggin’

Beetle Grabber.

Why’s that, Mr. Jimmy?

We figure we’ll get the

Beatle fans and the Smack O’

Froggin’ Grabber fans.

I’m turning the lights out

now.

We got the name, the tour

bus, the outfits, hairdos, video

director.

We just have to decide if it’s

the blue or the red candy that

we don’t want in the backstage

snack bowls.

When can we hear your tour

dates announced on the radio,

Mr. J?

(Wheelchair buzzing)

(Bells jangling)

GRAM-GRAMHa!

PELSWICKThis is WHEEL,

radio that rules, ’cause there

are no rules!

Floor it, ice cream boy.

I was born to be wild.

Ah!

♪

That was the Squeegees, a

band made up of carwash

employees from right here in

Bayview.

Cool tunes.

So, you thinkin’ later you’re

gonna do remotes and cool promo

giveaways like Boyd does?

Boyd?

On his radio station.

Boyd has a radio station?

♪ Hey Bully!

You’re listening to KBULY,

bully radio, live at Bayview

Park.

It’s a beautiful day for

humiliating small children and

making girls cry.

And a chicken-legged kid who

looks like his mother cut his

hair is up.

Huh?

BOYDLooks like an easy out.

Oh, and the batter’s pants just

fell down!

Strike one!

And he’s not wearin’ any

underwear!

I am, too!

He’s tellin’ lies on the

radio!

Actually, he’s doubling your

ratings on the radio.

He had the brilliant idea of

broadcasting on the same

frequency kids pick up with

their fillings and dental

retainers.

BOYDNow he’s being beaten

up by his sister.

KIDI am not!

BOYDHis little sister!

Strike three!

♪ Hey Bully!

PELSWICKWe’ve got to

compete!

I need remotes, news,

interviews, hand-less kids who

can’t bat!

WHEEL, free ice cream to

every listener.

Uh, who’s running your radio

station now?

I put on some ’s art rock

band.

That song’s got another hour and

a half to go.

MANAnother drum solo, man,

yeah.

It’s a stop sign, Goon.

It doesn’t change to green.

Oh, yeah.

How would you guys like your

own radio shows?

Really?

I’d finally have a forum for my

thought-provoking, controversial

opinions?

Actually, vanilla ice cream

isn’t plain ice cream, vanilla

is a flavour.

(Cheering)

How ’bout you, Goon?

Sure.

Ace, could I borrow some of your

opinions?

And another thing, why are they

called sidewalks when they’re in

front of your house?

Answer me that!

And another thing, why are they

called sidewalks when you can

run on them?

My demographic research shows

he’s doing very well among

people obsessed with sidewalks.

Uh huh.

And everyone else?

They’re listening to the

"Nick and Joe Show" on KBULY.

♪ Hey Bully!

You’re listening to-- the

radio.

And now, I’ll-- I’ll read what

it says on the microphone.

Uh, “Do not submerge in water.”

Yeah.

This is so bad it’s actually

good.

Bad.

If that’s what the public

wants, I know two people who

are way stranger together than

Nick and Joe.

♪ WHEEL radio!

"Take My Advice with Julie

and Sandra."

Who’s our first caller?

GIRLUm, I’m having a

problem with my boyfriend, an--

Like, dump him.

(Dial tone humming)

This advice thing’s a snap!

This is my show, too, Sandra.

Perhaps I might have a word with

our callers?

What for?

You’d, like, agree with me if

you had any sense at all.

Not only do I have sense, I

have-- your chair!

(Sandra screaming)

(Crashing)

This is awful.

But according to my limited

research based on checking

ambulance radios as they drive

away from Burger Barrel, we’re

averaging extra listeners an

hour!

Great!

I wonder who else is listening.

JULIEWe now pause for

station identification.

♪ WHEEL radio!

And to pull each other’s hair

like this!

(Shrieking)

I’m getting illegal

transmissions out of-- looks

like Bayview.

Don’t worry, sir.

Our radar van will track ’em

down, and then--

♪

(Gasping)

You’re listening to WHEEL,

hours a day, we never sleep.

(Laughing)

Going hours means you’ve

captured % of the overnight

market.

Great.

How many people is that?

Um, you.

You’re the only one up that

late.

We have to keep making it

better.

We’ve got to stay ahead of Boyd.

All right, here’s the WHEEL

traffic report.

There’s a blue car coming down

the street towards me and it’s

slowing down.

Looks like it might stop.

No, wait a minute, that’s my car

and it’s parked in my driveway.

Sorry.

Thanks for filling in, Dad.

Sandra and Julie are up next.

Where are they?

Sandra and Julie aren’t here,

but does anyone have a problem

they want to talk about with

Quentin?

A problem?

Anyone?

(Phone ringing)

Yes, hello.

What’s your problem?

BOYDMy problem is your

crummy station!

Everyone listen to KBULY

instead!

Now, here’s some music.

♪

We’ve got to get a time delay.

How does that work, anyway?

You say things seconds

before you think of them.

You do that, anyway.

PELSWICKCall from Julie

Smockford.

Can’t come back until we clean

garage because of allergies.

Call from Sandra Scoddle.

Won’t come back until she gets

hairstylist, private dressing

room, sauna, sauna

air-conditioner in case sauna

gets too hot.

(Sighing)

I wonder what Boyd’s up to.

BOYDIt’s KBULY radio!

Number one or else!

And here’s our new advice show

host Mandra Moddle.

Thank you, Boyd.

Welcome to the "Mandra Moddle

Show," better advice because

it’s not watered down by a vain,

know-nothing who knows

absolutely zilch but keeps

hogging the mike anyway!

(Hemming)

Boyd, ice tea, chop-chop.

She sounds familiar.

Oh, man!

I’m losing it here!

Nonsense, it’s not like you

have conversations with guardian

angels that other people can’t

see.

Mr. Jimmy, I’m kind of busy.

Unless you’ve got advice on how

I can strengthen my signal or

get my deejays to show up--!

As I was saying about my

band, things are groovin’, man.

We had our first photo session.

Picked out the height for our

platform shoes.

We’re thinking four inches.

We’ve hired an entourage, a

manager, and an ex-manager to

rip us off.

We’ve decided what cars to buy

when we’re famous.

I’m gonna have two, with one

that only goes in reverse for

backing out of the garage.

Pelswick, are you listening

to your own station?

GOONThis is Goon Gunderson

at city hall, where federal

officials are announcing a

crackdown on pirate radio

broadcasts.

Here’s a comment from a

scary-looking guy in uniform.

When we zero in on these

perps, it’s gonna be lights out.

Wouldn’t that be sounds out?

What?

What are you gonna do?

The important thing is not to

panic.

They work for the government.

It will take them weeks of

highly paid overtime to track

down our signal.

From city hall, this is Goon

Gunderson, throwing it back to

our pirate transmitter at

Willow Avenue, Bayview.

(Screaming)

♪ Wheel radio!

PELSWICKHurry, they’ll be

here any second!

That was some music followed

by-- some other music.

JULIEPull out the cord.

No, we can’t go off the air

while Boyd’s still transmitting.

Pelswick, we can’t go into

hiding if we’re attached to your

house.

Actually, my dad has a gas

generator.

We don’t need the scanner.

All we got to do is follow that

bozo, he’ll lead us right to

’em.

Which way was Pelswick’s

house again?

♪

JULIEAm not!

SANDRAAre too!

JULIEAm not!

SANDRAAre too!

All right, commercial time.

Everyone listen to the

"Mandra Moddle Show" on KBULY!

You can’t advertise the

competition!

Can too!

Cannot!

I could’ve sworn his house

was right here.

This can’t be right.

One of the pirate transmitters

is moving!

JULIEHave not!

SANDRAHave too!

JULIEHave not!

BOYDNow, here’s the bully

body-odour-taunting report.

Ronald Farthing smells like

garbage!

The breath of Bob McClure could

drive a rat out of a sewer!

(Panting)

Radio cops!

They’re tracing illegal

transmitters!

You’ve got to dump this stuff!

Nuh-uh!

The people I took this off of

paid a lot of money for it!

And no way am I quitting while

Pelswick’s still on the air.

Hey, that kid Ace’s father

has a gas generator.

♪

Keep it tuned right here,

’cause-- in the next hour we’re

giving away--

-- a thing that’s kind of brown

and bendy.

Could be either a very old

banana or a finger from a

baseball glove.

Which way do you live?

That way.

GOONThanks.

♪

We’re back!

You know who’s really pathetic?

Julie Smockford!

Hey!

This is Mandra Moddle saying

don’t you believe it.

Julie might be a hopeless jerk

sometimes, but-- like-- she’s my

best friend.

JULIESandra Scoddle!

You’re Mandra Moddle?

This is Mulie Mockford saying

take this Mandra Moddle!

(Shouting)

PELSWICKGuys, slow down!

Guys!

(Screeching)

♪

(Crashing)

JIMMYHow do you like my

autograph-signing pen?

Enough!

I give up!

Just give me your single and

I’ll play it.

We don’t have a single.

We still have to learn how to

play our instruments.

What?

You’ve got a video director and

an autograph pen, and you

haven’t learned to play yet?

You’re doing it all backwards!

Don’t you know the music’s the

most important-- part-- of it.

I guess I sort of forgot why I

started doing this in the first

place, huh?

It was for the music.

♪

And that’s the last tune we have

time for.

You’re listening to Alcatraz

Middle School campus radio.

Stay right here for the Boyd

Scullrazo humiliating gossip

hour, then the Julie, Sandra,

Nick, and Joe confusion hour,

followed up by VP Zeigler

describing his favourite socks

in order of comfiness.

Oh, and if anyone’s seen Goon

Gunderson, please report to the

office.

GOONPelswick!

(Echoing)

Pelswick!

(Echoing)

You’re way over-watering your

lawn, man!

(Croaking)

Hey, frog.

♪