03x10 - The Chickens Come Home to Roost

[bunniefuu]

Previously on Family Law...

[DANIEL] Dad is making
me equity partner.

You have to promise not to
tell Abby until it's a done deal.

[HARRY] Ben is one of the
city's top prosecutors.

Big step up from the
baby-faced fireman.

- What are we celebrating?
- We're getting married!

[DANIEL] Quinn asked me to
be the emcee at their wedding.

Daniel, you didn't!

[MAGGIE] Could I please speak to Lucy?

She wants nothing to do with you.
Do not attempt to contact her again.

- [DANIEL] Craig? You okay?
- [CRAIG WHIMPERS]

[MARTINA] Do you think he
got into the chocolate cake?

Chocolate is toxic to dogs.

[ABBY] I finished my moral inventory,

and I'm ready to share it

Congratulations, Abby.

How about Friday, before work?

I love you, Harry,

but I have to end this relationship now,

on my terms.

[GULLS CRYING]

[♪♪♪]

[ABBY] I've carried a lot of resentment

toward my parents, over the years.

Especially Harry.

Part of me still blames
them for my addiction.

I can also be impulsive...
which can get me into trouble,

but... that impulsivity
can also be an asset,

it allows me to think outside the box.

Okay. Let's see. Procrastination,
covered. Impatience, covered. Oh!

Sometimes, my jokes are...

"insensitive",

but... [CHUCKLES SMUGLY]

whether that's my fault

or the fault of the person with
no sense of humor is debatable.

[CLAPS BOOK SHUT]

Huh!

Delivering a moral inventory
sure builds up an appetite.

Can I take you to breakfast
at the Sunshine Diner?

I give you an "A" for performance...

- Thank you.
- And an "F" for digging deep.

A true moral inventory requires
fearlessness and self-honesty.

- I was honest.
- You're still deflecting!

Not taking any personal responsibility.

Why don't you take another s*ab at it?

You're not my law professor, Jerri.

- You can't fail me.
- No.

But you can fail yourself.

[♪♪♪]

[DANIEL] We were there all night.
I really thought I might lose him.

Martina stayed with you the whole time?

She loves Craig as much as I do.

Ha. No offence to Craig, but she
didn't stay there all night for him.

Doesn't matter.

None of it matters.

She's marrying Quinn in a week.

Thank God, you'll be at the wedding.

Don't think I could get
through it without you.

Daniel, I won't be. I'm going
on my cruise, remember?

Can't you meet the
ship at its next port?

Right. Okay. I heard myself.

Morning, Winston.

[QUIETLY] Word of warning?

You may want to stay
clear of Mr. Svensson.

Which one?

[HARRY] Which imbecile
drank the last of my coffee?

That one.

This was half-full not ten minutes ago!

Why do you insist on treating
that creature like a baby?

- He's easily winded!
- You look like a fool.

- [HARRY BANGS CARAFE DOWN]
- Him. Not you.

[♪♪♪]

He had his yearly physical this morning.

You should probably
go check on him, Jerri.

With all three of his
children standing right here?

[SCOFFS] Please.

Ms. Bianchi? Carla and
Dwayne Shears have arrived.

Oh.

- I have a lot of work.
- I have tons of clients.

Where is your lawyer, Mr. Shears?

I fired him. I'm representing myself.

Uh, I don't recommend that.

I'm not throwing another penny
away on one of you vultures.

I've watched Law & Order. I got this.

- Told ya. Dumb as a stump.
- All right, then!

Mr. Shears, you're three months

in arrears on your
child support payments

for your 15-year-old daughter, Britney.

I object!

You can't object.

I'm not paying another dime
for a kid who isn't mine.

- Oh, geez, here we go again!
- Exhibit A... she's nothing like me.

Yeah, she's smart and pretty! [SNORTS]

[SLOWLY] Is... Reg... her... dad?

- And remember, you're under oath.
- No, she's not under o...

who is Reg?

Reg was my boyfriend before Dwayne,

like, a million years ago.

And I've told you,
he's not Britney's dad!

So let's take DNA tests.

- My client is under no obliga...
- Unless you can't handle the truth!

Oh... you're on, Dwayne!

Let's all spit into test tubes
and lay this bullcrap to rest.

- Well, this court is adjourned!
- [PAPERS SHUFFLING]

You didn't have to do that.

- He just gets me so riled up.
- Mm-hmm.

I have a contact at a lab,

so we can get these tests fast-tracked.

And then he has to start
paying support again?

He never should've stopped.

As long as he's Britney's dad,
he's not getting off the hook.

Oh, he's Britney's dad, 100%!

Okay, 90%.

Between you, me, and the fence post,

I used to fool around
with Reg for a couple years

after me and Dwayne got together.

- But you were safe, though, right?
- Oh, yeah!

We used the "P&P" method.

- [ELEVATOR OPENS]
- P&P?

"Pull and pray."

["UH-OH" BY JEREMY FISHER BEGINS]

♪ You can't prove it ♪

♪ Uh-oh ♪

♪ You got nothing legit ♪

♪ Uh-oh ♪

♪ The glove don't fit ♪

♪ Uh-oh ♪

♪ You got to acquit ♪

♪ Uh-oh ♪

♪ The charges won't stick 'Cause ♪

♪ I ain't no sucker ♪

♪ Ain't your lollipop ♪

♪ But ♪

♪ You can kiss my sweet ♪

♪ Uh-huh ♪

♪ Never gonna stop ♪

♪ Never gonna stop Never gonna
stop Never gonna stop ♪

[FRANK] Thanks again

for staying with the kids
for the next few nights.

Smart move on Isabelle's part

to go to the conference with ya.

Is Felicity gonna be there?

I'd pay good money to see that.

[CHUCKLES]

Um...

I also wanted to tell you...

Isabelle and I are moving in together.

[QUIETLY] Wow.

That's fast.

Yeah, I... surprised me, too.

But when you know, you know.

Mm.

Will you be moving into Casa Gnome?

No. No, we want to find our own place.

Together.

You want to sell the house?

Or you could buy me out.

Whatever works for you, Abby.

Mm.

All right, I'll think it over.

[SIGHS]

And Frank?

I'm happy for you.

[♪♪♪]

[HARRY] Dammit, man!
This is a tripping hazard.

A lawsuit waiting to happen!

Okay. Someone needs to go check on him.

I'm taking an early lunch.

You're partner...

even if it is just income.

Well, you're the oldest.

- You're his favourite.
- Cecil!

- Can you...
- Don't do it, Cecil. It's a trap.

Ugh! Fine! I'll do it.

Wimps.

[♪♪♪]

All right, Harry, what's wrong?

I am working in an office
full of incompetents.

I heard you were at the doctor's today.

- Are you okay?
- Wouldn't you just love it if I wasn't?

I know you're all waiting for me to die.

[SNAPS] Dang it! You're on to us.

Too bad for you, I'm fit as a fiddle.

Well, then why are you in
a fouler mood than normal?

Your mother and I broke up.

What is with you men

and your desire for shiny, new things?

[♪♪♪]

Mom?

- Mom!
- [PERKY] Hi-hi!

What are you doing here?

- Why weren't you answering your phone?
- I left it inside.

What's wrong?

I know Harry broke up with you.

Why would you automatically assume that?

I broke up with him.

You did?

- So you're okay?
- What did you think?

You'd find me floating
face-down in the pool?

Well, the first time he left,

you wouldn't get out
of bed for two weeks.

I had to live on popcorn and cereal

and tickle your toes ten times a day

to make sure you were still alive.

You are grossly exaggerating.

Will you at least tell me what happened?

Abigail, there are some things
you share with your children,

and some things you don't.

Wish you'd followed that
rule when I was seven!

[KNOCKING]

Mr. Svensson?

- Sir?
- [KNOCKS]

Mr. Svensson?

[♪♪♪]

Sir?

[♪♪♪]

What in God's name are you doing?

Uh... Winston has something to tell you.

Sorry, sir.

Jacqueline Fitzhugh's waiting
for you in the boardroom.

Oh.

[CLEARS THROAT AUTHORITATIVELY]

I was told Jacqueline
Fitzhugh was waiting for me,

but you must be her younger sister.

Oh, you sweet-talker, you!

- [CHUCKLING]
- Mwah! Mwah!

- To what do I owe the pleasure?
- I'm getting married!

That's wonderful news!
Who's the lucky fellow?

- Frederick.
- Frederick? As in...

the Frederick you've married
and divorced twice before?

Three times!

You only represented me on the last two.

I don't need to remind you,
your previous divorces...

Oh, things will be different this time!

Frederick and I want to draw
up a very detailed prenup.

[CHUCKLES]

Fourth time's the charm.

[♪♪♪]

Ooh, what's in there? Can I have one?

Your father's favourite madeleines.

I've never seen him this
gutted over a break-up.

Is it weird that I
feel just a tiny bit sad

things didn't work out between them?

- No. I do, too.
- [PHONE RINGS]

Oh.

Hey, Gwyn. Thanks again
for fast-tracking those.

Okay.

Wait. What?

Hi, Carla. Thanks for
coming in on such short notice.

Oh, no probs, Ms. B.

- I won't be too long, Brit.
- 'Kay.

- You brought Britney?
- I had no choice.

She gets anxiety att*cks sometimes

and I have to pull her out of school.

[GRANDLY] Mr. Shears and
his lawyer have arrived.

- Oh, hey, Brit.
- Hey, Dad.

- Rough morning?
- Yep.

Finnegan's Wake?

I found the idiosyncratic
language tedious.

- English assignment?
- No. Pleasure.

Ah.

The results of your DNA tests came back.

Dwayne is not Britney's father.

- Guilty as charged!
- I'm not done.

You're not Britney's
father, but, Carla...

you're not Britney's mother.

- This makes no sense.
- You were definitely pregnant.

- You got as big as a barn.
- Thank you, Dwayne.

- Where was Britney born?
- St. Patrick's.

Walk me through what you remember.

It was a crazy night.

A nurse told me

it was nine months to the
day after that terrible storm.

[DWAYNE] The one that
caused the blackout.

Couldn't watch wrestling, so, uh... tch!

Okay. Fast-forward to a mini baby-boom.

Four of us had to share a room.

I needed a C-section,

so my... my memories
are foggy after that.

What do you remember, Dwayne?

Uh, Britney and another
baby were taken away

to go under some lamp-thingie,
'cause they were yellow,

and they were brought
back a little while later.

The other kid belonged to the lady...
the one that was bitching

- 'cause she'd paid for a private room?
- Oh, her. Yeah.

She didn't even want an epidural.
Aw, what a dumb-dumb.

Mm-kay. Leave it with me, all right?

We're gonna get to the bottom of this.

Dwayne.

We can't breathe a word
of this to Britney, eh?

Not yet.

[♪♪♪]

[JERRI] You really think this girl

could've been switched at birth?

Can that even happen these days?

There was a case
recently, out of Tennessee.

If you get the perfect
storm of under-staffing,

overwork, and incompetence...

Cecil, I'll need you to subpoena

the birth records and room assignments
for the night Britney was born.

Yeah, sure thing.

- Just as soon as I finish my sandwich.
- [ABBY] Ahem.

[LUCY] That poor girl.
I've read about cases like this.

The children often wind up feeling like

they don't belong in either family.

When I was a kid,

I convinced myself I
was switched at birth,

and Tony Danza and Judith
Light were my real parents.

"Who's the Boss?" [MIMICKING
TONY DANZA] Ay-oh. Oh-ay.

Does anyone here ever work?

Harry!

Harry.

I just want to apologize for
assuming the break-up was...

- [THUD]
- your fault.

[♪♪♪]

There's just so much history
in that house, you know?

Bought it before Sofia was born.

Well, get rid of it.

The best thing my ex and
I did was sell our home.

Too many bad memories?

Ah, it wasn't just the bad ones.

It was just every single moment
in that house after we split

was an unwanted trip down memory lane.

Mm. I can see the
appeal of a fresh start.

Just not sure Nico and Sofia will.

Speaking of which, I'm with
them again tonight, so I should go.

I have a dinner to attend

for the Cambie Legal
Aid Fund tomorrow night.

It's gonna be a long evening,

full of boring speeches,
rubbery chicken...

the Jell-o desserts are decent.

Worst part... we'd be sober.

We?

Would you be my date?

If I go,

the entire legal community
will know we're...

Yes.

They will.

If it's too much to ask, I...

You had me at "Jell-o".

[CHUCKLES]

[♪♪♪]

[ABBY] Scooch over.

[♪♪♪]

So I spoke with your father.

He's moving in with Isabelle.

[ABBY] How do you feel about that?

I mean, we can't stop it, so...

She's nice and all,

but it's kind of weird.

Well, I was thinking...

we've been in this house a long time.

Since you fit into the
crook of my arm, Sof.

You want to sell it?

I thought maybe we could
look for something new...

together.

Same neighbourhood?

Same neighbourhood.

Can I have my own bathroom?

I bet that can be arranged.

Can my bedroom be a turret?

- That might be a stretch, kiddo.
- [GRUMBLES] Mm.

- [PHONE RINGS]
- Give it, donkey-butt!

You won the essay-writing contest!

What?

Sof! That's amazing. At your school?

Mm-hmm.

- What was the topic?
- "Secrets".

Well, I'd love to read it.

If you did, then it wouldn't
be a secret, would it?

Well, it can't be that much of a secret

if you entered it into a contest!

No. She says I'm not mature enough.

Thanks for breakfast, Mom.

Why, you're welcome Nico.

Sofia, isn't your brother polite?

Thank you, Mother, for taking a box

of Gorilla Munch out of the cupboard

and lifting your arm to
pour it into our bowls.

[♪♪♪]

[BUZZ]

You know where my French horn is?

[CHUCKLES]

You shouldn't sneak up on
people like that, kiddo.

You wouldn't happen to
know Sofia's password?

- She changed it.
- Why?

I may have switched
all her profile pictures

to the "poo" emoji.

So, it's your fault I can't spy?

Hey, don't forget... Dad's back tonight,

so he's gonna pick you
up from band, all right?

[PHONE RINGS]

- Hey, Cecil.
- Hospital records just came in.

[ABBY] And?

And... three women shared
Carla's room that night.

Two of them gave birth to
boys and the third had a girl.

Thanks, Big Red.

Did you get a name?

[CECIL] I did, indeed. Ilana Kovacs.

[CARLA] Holy crapoli.

Pretty nice, eh?

- Okay.
- Okay.

So, remember, we don't
know anything for sure.

- 'Kay.
- Yeah. We go slow.

Slow. Yeah. Got it.

- I do the talking.
- [CHUCKLES AND MAKES ZIPPING SOUND]

[KNOCKS]

Mom, some people are here for you.

Lizzie?

You're gonna be late for school, again.

Yeah, what else is new? [SNORT-LAUGHS]

Oh, my god, my girl! Mm!

My sweet baby girl!

- Do I know you?
- I'm your mom!

What are you talking about?
Mom, what is she talking about?

Lizzie... go to your room.

What the hell do you think you're doing?

Ms. Kovacs, I want to apologize...

We... We shared the same
room at the hospital,

and our babies were taken away,

and when they brought 'em back,
they gave us the wrong ones.

If you don't leave this instant,
I'm calling the police.

Get off my property!

- Now!
- [SLAM]

[♪♪♪]

I am so sorry, Ms. Bianchi. I
saw my girl and I freakin' lost it.

It's okay, I get it, Carla.

Lizzie is definitely
your biological child.

Right?

I'll get a court order

requiring the Kovacs family
to take DNA tests, okay?

Have you had a chance to think about

what you want out of all this?

When Britney was growing up,

me and Dwayne used to joke
that she must be a changeling

'cause she was so not like us.

[CHUCKLES SADLY] She's
so serious, so anxious.

So smart!

Her head, it's always in a book and...

I love her with all my heart.

She will always be my daughter,
but Lizzie's my daughter, too.

And-And I don't want us to
switch back or anything...

that would be... cruel.

I just want to get to know my bio-girl.

[♪♪♪]

Any time your client has an
affair, my client receives $100,000.

History suggests this
could prove costly.

- I would advise you against it.
- It's fine. This time is different.

Alright then, we'll agree to it, on the

condition that if Frederick
invites his mother

to stay without at least two weeks'

notice, he'll pay Jacqueline $50,000.

And if his mother stays for longer than

three days, an added
penalty of 10 grand.

- Per day.
- Fine.

[RECEPTIONIST] Mount Hill Secondary.

How can I help you?

Yes! Hi. My name is Sarah Dodd.

I'm a reporter with the Kerrisdale News.

- Oh, yes?
- Yeah.

I'm doing a short piece on
your school's writing contest.

I'd love to see the winning essay.

Oh, I'm sure we can do
that. Where shall I send it?

Uh, great, yeah.

It's SDodd at coastmaildomain.com.

All lowercase, one word.

Harry!

I know you're in a bad mood,
but this might cheer you up.

I have a switched-at-birth case.

Short game... I'm fighting for my client

to have access to her
biological daughter.

Long game... I want to sue the hospital.

Yes, Daniel filled me in.

You can be second chair to his lead.

[SCOFFS] Uh, hard no.

I'm the one with 12
years in personal injury.

And you'll be an asset to
your brother because of it.

But this could be a high-profile case.

It deserves a partner at the helm.

- Income.
- Equity.

- Since when?
- Since a few weeks ago.

When was someone gonna tell me?

When we announced it
to the rest of the firm.

- [ABBY] You made him equity partner?
- I did.

What happened to

"You're the future of
this firm, Abigail"?

I don't recall saying that.

[SCOFFS]

I know you're upset
about your break-up,

but you can't take it out on me.

Of course, I can. If it weren't for you,

your mother and I
would still be together.

You seriously think it's my fault?

You were constantly
pouring poison in her ear...

telling her I wasn't capable of change.

Well, congratulations,
you got what you wanted.

[DARKLY] How dare you try to blame me.

You may have changed, Harry,

but it doesn't erase
decades of bad behaviour.

There you go again,
dredging up the past.

Because it's all about your past!

So no one but you

has permission to grow and move on?

Of course not, Harry! But
the... the foundation was rotten.

And you never let us forget it.

[♪♪♪]

[SIGHS]

My ex and I used to
live on the North Shore,

and when we split, I moved
to this side of the bridge.

Wow, you have a green thumb.

- Well, the previous owner did.
- Ah.

You were amazing tonight.

Thanks for the "vodka tonics"
that were really just tonic.

A little trick I learned a while back.

Whoever said honesty is the best policy

never had to see the
look on someone's face

when you tell them you're an alcoholic.

I feel very lucky to
have met you, Ms. Bianchi.

The feeling's mutual, Mr. Cohen.

[♪♪♪]

- Ms. Bianchi, Carla Shears...
- Hi! Ms. B!

Carla.

- You were gonna be my first call.
- Oh.

The Kovacs' DNA results are back.

They confirm what we already knew.

- Oh.
- Oh, and for the record,

Dwayne is Lizzie's father.

Ah. So maybe that'll help us with this?

I got home from my shift last night

and some guy handed it to me.

The Kovacs have applied

to have a restraining order against you.

- What does that even mean?
- It means...

they want you to have
no part of Lizzie's life.

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

Hi! Ms. B!

Britney... hi.

Britney was all worked up this morning.

So she's just gonna
set herself up out here,

and do homework, right, Brit?

These quadratic equations
don't solve themselves.

[CHUCKLING]

- Have you told her about...
- Oh, heck, no!

No, she just thinks I'm here

trying to get money
out of her deadbeat dad.

You're gonna have to
tell her eventually.

How can I tell her I'm not her bio-mom

if her actual bio-mom wants
nothing to do with her?

Oh, crap on a stick!

I forgot to plug my meter.

So... quadratic equations, huh?

Sounds tough.

Yes, and I need to focus,

if I want to keep my average above 95%.

- Hey, it's "flat white, single sh*t".
- What?

She's a regular at the
coffee shop where I work.

- Really?
- She's a philosophy prof.

We have these really
interesting debates.

She's a Kantian, I'm a Utilitarian.

[♪♪♪]

If your client... urinates on my
client's prized rose bushes again,

we want 100,000.

Fine.

If your client writes "Man-Whore"

on my client's Maserati again...

- [MUTTERS] Oh, for God's sake.
- Sorry, what was that?

I can't do this.

I can no longer participate
in this... farce.

Clearly, neither of you
think the other can change,

or we wouldn't be here.

Maybe we should just take a moment...

If you can't forgive
each other's past sins

and genuinely move on,

you have no business
getting married again.

[WORDS CATCH]

[♪♪♪]

I was gonna take the family to Maui

with the spoils from their next divorce.

Joanne broke up with me.

[♪♪♪]

Ms. Kovacs, why are you trying to get

a restraining order against my client?

You were there.

You saw that woman ambush my child.

Lizzie's convinced herself
she was just some kook.

But she wasn't "just some kook".

She's Lizzie's biological mother.

You are Britney's biological mother.

I don't care what the DNA results say.

What's done can't be undone.

Surely, you must be curious about
your flesh-and-blood daughter?

Of course, I am, but my curiosity
can't come at Lizzie's expense.

Maybe when they're older,
we can revisit this.

Remind me... when did you first realize

you might've been sent
home with the wrong child?

When you showed up on my doorstep.

Ms. Kovacs, do you like coffee?

[BRISTLES]

Yes. I like coffee.

There a lot of good coffee shops
in your neighbourhood, are there not?

- Yes, but I can't see why...
- And yet you drive

to a shop miles from
your home or workplace

to order your "flat
white, single sh*t"...

a shop where Britney,
your biological daughter,

has a part-time job.

You have long conversations with her

and leave 20 bucks for a $5 drink.

Are you telling me that's a coincidence?

[BREATH SHAKING]

I'll ask again, Ms. Kovacs...

when did you first know

Britney was your biological daughter?

[♪♪♪]

[WROUGHT] I had an inkling...

early on.

Oh, it seemed so crazy, I
pushed it out of my mind,

but... as time passed...

We love Lizzie,

but she's so different from us.

I remembered the mother
who shared my hospital room.

She kept saying how she
wanted to name her daughter

after Britney Spears, because
their last name was Shears.

So, a few years ago, I searched
for Britney Shears on Facebook...

and there she was!

A carbon copy of my husband and me.

I just wanted to get
to know her a little.

I just needed to know she was okay.

'Course you did.

That's all my client wants, too.

[♪♪♪]

I really thought she'd be
the woman I'd grow old with.

If you ask me...

you dodged a b*llet.

I mean, this is the same woman

who put cayenne pepper
in your jockstrap.

Because I slept with
her jazzercise partner.

She tossed a cocktail in your lap

at a banquet full of your peers.

Because she'd just found out

I was sleeping with my secretary.

She lit your Alfa Romeo on fire.

Because I abandoned her...

and our daughter...

and I thought I could just
throw money at the problem.

[♪♪♪]

[JUDGE] This is a painful situation,

on so many levels.

To the Kovacs and Shears families...

your girls have clearly
been raised by parents

who love them very much.

And while I know this
is the start of a new,

and I'm sure, sometimes
painful, journey,

the girls deserve to know the truth

and have a chance at a
meaningful relationship

with their biological parents.

I'm dismissing the application
for a restraining order.

[BANG]

[WHISPERS] High-five!

Yeah!

[♪♪♪]

Maggie?

When did you get back? Where's Harmony?

She's with my mom.

I got back five weeks ago.

Five weeks?

You abduct our child, and
then you waltz back into town,

and just, what... hope that
we never run into each other?

I never should have left.

I was so messed-up, I had
post-partum depression.

I haven't seen my daughter in months.

I tried to call you.

- Don't lie to me!
- I did.

Your girlfriend said you
wanted nothing to do with me.

I called a few more times after that,

you never picked up, so... yeah.

- I quit trying.
- I never got any messages.

Check your phone.

[VOICEMAIL] You have six new messages.

One more sleep!

This time tomorrow,
we'll be settin' sail!

[MAGGIE ON MESSAGE] Hey. Me again.

Look, I don't really
know what's up with you,

but we should really talk.

Next message.

[MAGGIE] Seriously, Lucy?

You took me to court to
get co-parenting rights,

and now you're ghosting me?

My lawyer was right, you are a flake.

Five more weeks of my baby girl's life.

I did it for you.

You couldn't see how
much pain you were in.

I was just trying to help
you draw healthy boundaries.

Stop!

Just stop it.

We're done, Kelly.

I'm gonna stay at a hotel.

You can pick up your
stuff when you get back.

Enjoy the cruise.

[SLAM]

[♪♪♪]

[LUCY] I can't believe I was so stupid.

You weren't stupid.

She was very convincing.

I'm really sorry, Luce.

The ship leaves tonight.

I'm just gonna stay late

and head home once I'm sure she's gone.

No. No, you won't.

You will come with me to
Martina and Quinn's wedding.

Sorry, Daniel.

I'm not in the mood. Plus,
I already RSVP'ed "no".

Hey! I'm the emcee. Remember?

I got some pull.

- Oh, Craig.
- You are coming.

Take your mind off things.

Besides...

I need you to be my narcissistic supply.

[SCOFFS] Too soon, Daniel.

[♪♪♪]

- You like school, Lizzie?
- I guess.

I like my friends and all, but
my grades are kind of in the toilet.

You don't need good grades
to make something of yourself.

Look at Carla, she's a bus driver.

Yeah, and Dwayne has
his own tattoo shop.

- Yeah.
- Show her, show her.

Show you...

No way!

The "Great Dane's"
my favourite wrestler!

Seriously?

You see that last match?

Oh, who could have seen
that babyface-turn coming?

- [DWAYNE LAUGHS]
- [WOMEN GIGGLE-SNORT]

[LIZZIE] How's about when
he gave Vlad the Impaler...

How you doing?

I feel like Jane Eyre
wandering the moors.

Alone and misunderstood.

What if I don't belong in either family?

Britney?

Would you like to see my library?

- You have an actual library?
- Yes.

- Like, a room devoted to books?
- Yes.

[ASTONISHED SIGH]

The only books we have at our house

are a stack of Uncle
John's Bathroom Readers.

[ILANA] Oh! [CHUCKLING]

[HEARTY LAUGHTER AND GIGGLE-SNORTING]

I still don't get the difference between
income and equity, do you?

Of course, I do. Ms. Bianchi!

Do you want to sign Daniel's card
and go in on a gift for him?

For his promotion.

How long have you known about it?

About a week?

Everyone's putting in 20 bucks.

[♪♪♪]

Do you think it's too much
if I sign it, "With love, Cecil"?

[♪♪♪]

I'm so sorry, Lucy-Goosey.

We'll go out for dinner
this weekend, okay?

Thanks, Dad.

- It'll cheer up both of us.
- Why do you need cheering up?

Luce, we need to go get
ready for the wedding.

- Whose wedding?
- No one you know.

Have a good evening, you two.

I spied on you once.

When I was 13.

Things at home were particularly...

so I looked you up in the phone book.

Took the bus to your house...

the one you had with Lucy's mom.

You were in the yard
with Daniel and Lucy.

Daniel must have been five.
Lucy was just a toddler.

You were playing "horsey" with them.

[VOICE CRACKS] It looked really nice.

[♪♪♪]

[SOFIA'S VOICE] When I was little,

I didn't realize my mom was different.

I had just assumed all moms
felt "under the weather"

and slept until noon on weekends,

that other moms snapped at their kids

for being too loud

when they had a splitting headache.

It wasn't until I got older
that I realized it was not normal.

I never had a sleepover at our house

because I was terrified
my mom would be drunk.

I'd see my friends with their moms

and wish one of them was mine.

It was our family's dirty secret...

until my mom puked in court,

and suddenly, our private
shame became public.

I know alcoholism is a disease.

I know people drink to escape.

But I can't help wondering...

what was she trying to escape from?

From her family?

From me?

I know she's trying to get better,

but it doesn't change the
damage she did in the past.

We are gathered here
to join you in matrimony

in front of these witnesses.

If anyone here knows of any reason

that would prevent these two people

from getting married, speak now

or forever hold your peace.

Quinn, do you take
Martina to be your wife?

I do.

Martina,

do you take Quinn to be your husband?

[♪♪♪]

I do.

I now pronounce you husband and wife.

Now, go on, kiss already!

[GUESTS APPLAUDING]

[CHEERING]

Abby, what's up?

Did you know

about Sofia's essay?

I did.

Have you read it?

She wanted us to proof it.

Us?

She doesn't mean half of it.

She was going for the drama.

It's what teenage girls do.

Can I speak to her?

I... I don't think that's
a good idea right now.

Let's give it a few days, okay?

[♪♪♪]

Hey. I just stole a bottle
of tequila from the bar.

[DANIEL SNICKERS]

It's good tequila.

[WEDDING DANCE MUSIC PLAYS, INDISTINCT]

Kudos.

You did a great job.

Just glad it's over.

Yeah, now maybe you can finally move on.

It's time.

It was time months ago, bro,
but better late than never.

The thing is, they're great people.

And they're great together.

I just wish I'd never
slept with Martina.

- Hey, you don't mean that!
- I do.

Even though it was hands-down
the best sex of my life...

Ooh?

If we hadn't acted on our feelings,

maybe I could have found a way
to stay friends with both of them.

Ah.

Your mic is hot.

Your... mic... is... hot.

♪ I won't wrap my mind
Around your little finger ♪

♪ 'Cause if you leave ♪

Hey, do you mind if I stay?

'Cause one of the bridesmaids
is kind of giving me the vibes.

- I am so...
- Just go.

♪ The past Is putting pressure ♪

♪ On me to feel ♪

♪ At all ♪

♪ Should I get away ♪

♪ From it all ♪

- Hi.
- [GASPS]

What are you doing?

You didn't honestly think I'd go
on the cruise by myself, did you?

I'd be so lonely.

[SCOFFS BITTERLY]
I think I made myself pretty clear.

You did.

And I can see why you would be upset.

But I am confident we
can get through this.

I'm going to go crash
in the guest room, okay?

We can hash this out once
we've both had time to cool off.

[♪♪♪]

♪ Wings torn But never broken ♪

♪ Feathers ♪

Hi.

♪ On the floor ♪

I tried calling you. I just
really needed to see you.

♪ Raw words ♪

♪ Unspoken ♪

♪ Written ♪

♪ On the walls ♪

♪ Should I ♪

♪ Get away ♪

♪ From it all? ♪

♪ Why would I stay? ♪

♪ Watch me fall ♪