02x02 - Doctor's Disorders

[bunniefuu]

Fascinating.

Possibly some of the most interesting

Mandibular formations I've ever seen.

[Grrr]

I hope I don't end up seeing them from the inside!

[Buzzing]

Anybody up for a game of slug bug?

Aah!

[Crash]

Ah!

Paulina!

You should run.

No, not toward me. Away! Run!

Aah!

Bug...

Zapper.

Well, one down, a billion to go.

♪ He's a phantom

♪ Danny phantom, danny phantom ♪

♪ Young danny phantom, he was just ♪

♪ When his parents built a very strange machine ♪

♪ It was designed to view a world unseen ♪

♪ He's gonna catch 'em all, 'cause he is danny phantom ♪

♪ When it didn't quite work, his folks, they just quit ♪

♪ Then danny took a look inside of it ♪

♪ There was a great big flash, everything just changed ♪

♪ His molecules got all rearranged ♪

♪ When he first woke up, he realized ♪

♪ He had snow white hair and glowing green eyes ♪

♪ He could walk through walls, disappear, and fly ♪

♪ He was much more unique than the other guy ♪

♪ It was then that he knew what he had to do ♪

♪ He had to stop all the ghosts that were comin' through ♪

♪ He's here to fight for me and you ♪

♪ He's gonna catch 'em all, 'cause he's danny phantom ♪

♪ He's gonna catch 'em all, 'cause he's danny phantom ♪

♪ Gonna catch 'em all, 'cause he's danny phantom ♪

♪ He's a phantom

♪ Danny phantom

[Bell rings]

Phew! What is that smell?

This? It's my new all-over body spray.

I made it myself.

I call it foley by tucker foley.

It combines with your natural odor to create a sweet manly scent

That smells different to everyone who sniffs it.

Tuck, you smell like a sweaty cookie.

By choice.

The ladies will be swarming all over me.

[Buzzing]

[Gasps]

Boy: paulina!

Yeah, paulina!

So many boys...

But only one you.

[Buzz]

Ow! Hey, you blemished my flawless skin!

Uh...

Tucker?

Uh...

Hello? What's wrong with him?

This happens every time he gets near the nurse's office.

N-n-n-nurse?

This is a bad one.

In a case like this, it's best not to let him see.

Come on, tuck, find a happy place.

Right.

Right. I'm not passing a nurse's office.

I'm passing a modeling agency.

Ahh...

Thanks, sam.

You're afraid of the nurse's office?

Yes! Nurse's offices, doctor's offices, hospitals!

Any place with sharp, pointy sticky things

And the smell of sick people.

[Sniffing]

Bleh. Speaking of sick smells,

What is that?

Gym socks and snicker doodles?

Both: foley by tucker foley.

It's tucker's cologne.

Ooh...

Uh, is paulina glowing?

I know she's supposed to have flawless skin,

But this is ridiculous.

I feel terrible.

I'm d*sfigured. Stupid bug bite.

Bug bite?

[Buzzing]

[Gasps]

[Buzzing]

Ya!

Ha ha! Ha ha!

Ow!

Ow!

Ow! Ow! Ow!

[Buzzing]

Ow!

[Screaming]

Oh, no. Cover me, guys.

I'm going ghost!

Whew!

Well, that is all of them.

[Buzzing]

Ow!

Except one.

[Screaming]

Or more.

Aah!

Hey, dash, uh, not that I care,

But you ok?

Dash: I don't feel so good.

Yeah, this always happens on goulash day.

Uh!

Although I've never seen goulash do that.

Get away!

I wish I could say I didn't want to do this,

But...

[Groaning]

Ah, and just one cheap sh*t away from a semester full of payback.

Why can't we see our children, mr. Palooka?

This is outrageous! They're sick!

They need us!

Yeah, well, I understand your concern, folks,

But I've been instructed not to disseminate any information

At this time.

But you're a teacher. It's your job to disseminate information!

Poor jazz.

She's always been my favorite.

[Phth]

Here you go, danny. Don't lose this.

It was your grandfather's.

Yech!

Tucker: hey, danny, check this out.

What's up?got another one.

Tucker, get rid of that thing!

No, no, look! It won't bite me

Or phase into my skin or anything.

That's weird.

I figured my ghost powers were protecting me.

What's protecting you?

Both: foley by tucker foley.

Wow. It's not just repelling,

It's a repellant.

Hello, people.

I'm dr. Bert rand.

Are you from the government's disease control center?

Sure. Let's go with that.

I can assure you that your children are in good hands

And will be transferred to the creepy, abandoned hospital

On the edge of town.

[Thunder]

Under quarantine?

Yes, let's go with that, too.

Oh, yeah? And just why should we trust you?

'Cause I'm with the government,

And I can audit your taxes if you don't.

We trust you.

Well, I don't trust him.

Sam and jazz are in that hospital,

And we've got to find out what's going on.

Have a good time.

Tucker, I said we.

You also said hospital.

I go invisible. I go ghost.

I'll be in and out in no time.

Just watch.

Aah!

Well, let's just come back during visiting hours.

Or perhaps not at all.

We can't do that, tucker.

The fact that the hospital has a ghost shield

Makes it even more suspicious.

If I can't get in like a ghost...

Then I'll have to get in like a kid.

Ok, just hang out here and wait for me.

You got my mom's fenton utility w*apon just in case?

It's a lipstick and an ecto-blaster.

Because I'm worth it.

Ok, then, let's make this good.

This area is restricted. No admittance.

But my friend is sick. He needs to be in the hospital.

Him. Not me.

That's all right, guards. Stand down.

Has this young man been exhibiting any ghost-like symptoms?

Uh...

Oh, no, you poor, sick human child.

It's worse than I thought.

So, what's the skizzle, fizzles?

[Groaning]

Aah!

Darn!

Right at the part where he says, "you complete me."

Now, now, son. Must try to control those powers.

[Groaning]

Fenton? You're here, too?

.

. .

Who do we appreciate?

Us! Us!

Aah! Run!

Run for our lives!

Are you kidding?

I've been trying to do that trick for months!

That is so wrong!

Jazz: oh, nurse.

Feeling a little light-headed.

Literally.

Jazz?

Aah!

I'm going...

Ghost!

[Hiccup]

Somebody need some help?

Paulina!

Uh, it is paulina, right?

You came for me.

He didn't come for you. He came for me.

Uh, hi, miss.

Can you excuse me for a minute.

Sam, are you all right?

I heard a scream.

Yeah, that was me.

You'd scream, too, if you were stuck in a sleepover with her.

Actually, I kind of doubt that.

Paulina: yoo-hoo, ghost boy.

Are you done talking to the unpopular girl yet?

Uh, be right there.

Grr...

[Hiccup]

Oh, what is this?

It's called a ghost scent.

See? It lets you know a ghost is near.

Like you.

That bug bite gave you ghost powers.

Didn't anybody explain anything to you?

No. They just brought me in here, took a few tests,

And stuck me in the same room with suzy nobody over there.

For the record,

I can hear everything you're saying.

Hold that thought.

As much as I hate to say it, she's right about one thing:

I don't know what they're doing at this hospital.

Nobody's talking to us. Nobody's helping us.

[Rushing air]

Oh, poor little teen. You're tired, aren't you?

[Yawns]

So sleepy.

Sam, paulina? Getting tired.

Gas is affecting me?

Of course, child.

That's the point.

[Gasps]

You didn't think this was an actual hospital, did you?

You're penelope spectra's assistant--bertrand!

Bert rand.

Bertrand. How did I miss that?

Why don't you mull that over

During your last two seconds of consciousness.

Tucker's right. Hospitals stink.

[Danny groaning]

Where am i? Ah!

Argh!

Save it, kid.

Those restraints are ghost-proof.

You're in for the duration.

Somebody tell me what's happening here!

[Lights flick on]

Allow me.

You know how we therapists love to talk it all out.

Spectra?

Stinky hospital. Ghosts guarding the joint.

Still, no sign that danny's in any real danger yet.

Danny: let me go!

Still, technically not a cry for help.

Help!

Well, not a cry for me.

Tucker!

Aw, dang.

[Coughing]

Oh, please, you're ghosts.

Do you have any idea what you smell like?

Aah!

Don't worry, danny, the cavalry's coming.

Whether he wants to or not.

Ah!

Sam: tucker, is that you?

Sam? Is that you?

Where are you?

Sam: up here.

Sam? Ha! And you call me an airhead.

You know, you really should stop and consider

All the vile things I could do to you from up here.

I think danny's really in trouble.

Have you seen him?

A while ago.

But I fell asleep, and when I woke up, he was gone.

There's something evil happening here.

It's a hospital, sam.

There's always something evil happening here.

We have to find danny.

Unfortunately, I think we means you.

I'm pretty useless.

And there's cameras and guards everywhere.

But not in there.

Hey, push that vent open.

Uh! Ah!

If I'm not back in minutes, just float there, ok?

What do you want?

What everybody wants, danny.

And for me, that means being beautiful!

Which is why I'm assembling this.

A brand-new me.

Fashioned from only the best teen genetics.

So the ghost bugs, the virus?

All part of my plan.

I needed to get the children away from the adults

All in one place.

[Buzz]

So I can siphon away the best qualities of each of them:

Jazz's brain, dash's muscle,

Paulina's nearly flawless skin.

Nearly flawless?

She has a mole. Isn't it obvious?

I had to treat them all with my little ghost virus

To get them all in one place.

And the ghost powers?

A side effect.

At some point, the powers will be too much

And they'll all burn out into little withered husks.

Won't that make a great class photo?

Ok, I'm not in an air vent in a spooky hospital.

I'm in an air vent in a totally not-spooky modeling agency.

You'll never get away with this, spectra.

Ooh, but I already have,

And you, danny, you're the grand prize.

I need your genes to lock this perfect body together

And stabilize it so my ghost form never burns out,

And never grows old.

How helpful are you?

[Whirring]

If she's so hot on getting fenton dna,

Maybe I can provide a substitute.

Uh! Uh...

[Ding]

[Rushing air]

Excellent.

Excellent. Uh!

I mean, you fiend!

Ha ha ha!

Hello, models.

I mean, danny, you're ok!

Tucker, you broke into the hospital!

You broke into a hospital?

Please stop saying hospital,

Because I will run and leave you here to perish.

Plasma peach. It's great for kissing...

This place good-bye.

♪ Waa waa

Ah, man, when she sings "wind beneath my wings,"

I just go to pieces.

Danny: what's up, doc?

You!

[Grr]

Argh!

[Screaming]

Don't move! I mean it!

This thing both moisturizes and repairs damage from the wind and sun.

Yah!

Ooh!

Paulina! I mean, whatever your name is, don't!

Hi. Hi.

Oh!

Sorry.

Tucker: aah!

Ok, now, this is going to hurt you a lot more than it hurts me.

How about neither of us gets hurt?

Why isn't that an option?

Oof!

Dude, your bedside manner reeks!

I think it's time we send you back to nursing school.

Aah!

Spectra: very impressive, danny.

But a bit lame on the brain.

I am at a modeling agency.

It's nice, right?

Smart, beautiful, deadly.

Aah! Oh!

Whoa! Whoa!

I can't feel my toes!

Let's see if you can feel this!

Aah!

No!

I've got it!

Go long, other kwans!

Aah!

Ah! I've got it! Mine!

I got her!

Whatever!

Sam: you fly is open.

Aah!

Ah, there we go.

Your dna is finally kicking in,

Which means I should be all-powerful in , , !

What?

What happened?

Why do I suddenly feel like blathering on about ghosts?

And why do I feel like eating fudge?

Lots and lots of fudge?

You wanted fenton dna, unfortunately you got it...

Courtesy of my dad's nose.

Aah!

There's a "you blew it" pun here somewhere,

But I would rather not.

Argh!

You're doomed, kid.

And you know what?

So are your friends.

Now that those bugs have dug into them,

There's nothing that can get them out.

That's what she thinks.

Will you please get off me?!

You know, if my life wasn't at stake, I would hurl right now.

Ok, that's it. Let's boogie!

See, that's the kind of pun I was avoiding

With the whole "blew it" comment.

Aah!

Whoever said odor isn't everything never met tucker foley.

Here goes.

[Bell rings]

Any last words?

Uh, yeah. You smell gym shorts and ginger snaps?

Actually, I smell tennis shoes fudge nutters.

Uh! What is that ghastly odor?

What? How is this possible?

Way to come through in the clutch, tuck.

Yeah. How do you like that?

My first trip to a hospital,

And I'm the only one who didn't get hurt.

Ha! Ow!

Can I get my boot back now?

Tucker, we just wanted to thank you

For helping to get our jazz out of that awful hospital.

Although, I have to agree with the authorities

That whole ghost plot thing seemed pretty far-fetched, huh, baby?

Ha ha ha! Everybody knows humans can't have ghost powers.

Bye, danny.

I'm so sorry about your leg.

I told you hospitals reek.

Oh, come on, tuck.

We b*at spectra, and you should be fine in - weeks.

It could be worse.

Here's your new roommate, mr. Foley.

Hey there. My name's carl.

No need to put me in bed, sweetie.

Just wheel me up to the whipper-snapper

So I can spend the next two weeks

Jabbering on about what it was like when I was his age.

And now it's worse.

Wow. Look at the time.

What?wait!

You see that television? We didn't have television.

We had radio.

Tucker: oh, come on!

And that clicker? We didn't have clickers.

We had to use a device called a knob.

Hey, you trying to climb out the window?

We didn't have windows in my day.

Tucker: guys!

Still, technically, not a cry for help.

Tucker: help!