02x08 - Toasty's Goodbye

[bunniefuu]

[upbeat music playing]

[chomps]

[expl*sive burp]

[sniffs]

-[glass breaks]
-[James yelps]

-[James] Ah! Ah, ah, ah, ah!
-[Max] Go, go, go, ah!

[expl*si*n]

See? Everything worked out.

[crash]

[James laughing]

Aww, I wanna be a letter!

[burps]

[spooky music playing]

[upbeat music playing]

[bicycle bell rings]

[wagon wheels creaking]

Ah, another beautiful day in Dirt.

-The sun is shining,
-[sizzling]

-the birds are singing.
-[bird cooing]

-Oh!
-And Toasty's coming home today!

-[creaking]
-I can't wait to see Toasty again.

I bet he's missed Papa Two the most.

That's me.

Well, you can keep waiting
because Echo's just messing with us.

Toasty's not coming back.

[expl*si*n]

[man 1] My house!

-[metallic clinging]
-[man 2] Ah! My legs!

That toaster took my legs!

[car horn beeping]

[woman] My car!

[tree leaves rustling]

[fire crackling]

It can't be.

[James clears throat]

I'll have a...

-[expl*si*n]
-[James yells]

[Max gasps]

[mechanical whirring]

[heavy metal music playing]

Hello, Dad.

Hello,

Max.

Toasty!

Max? What the heck?

[James gasps]

My Toasty!

Toasty d*ed the day you threw him
in the trash can!

Call me...

Declan.

-Eww.
-[crash]

James, you tell Toasty
I'll call him Declan

when he calls me Papa Two.

Did you really think I was gonna keep
the name you forced on me?

This is my life now.

No one tells me what to do!

I do what I want.

And right now,

I want revenge!

[James and Max gasp]

[Echo grunts]

Huh?

No way I'm letting you toast them.

Not right before I hear James
admit I was right!

[spitting noises]

Hey! This isn't over!

You can't escape me!

I know where you live!

Um, Amanda, I, like, need a lift.

[computerized voice]
Ride share requested.

[both grunt]

Echo was right!
Toasty's back and here for revenge!

Whoa. Whoa.
Hang on, hang on, hang on.

I wanna hear that again.

Echo was right! Echo was right!

Echo was right. Echo was right.

-[speaker] Echo was right! Echo was right!
-What? You said it.

Well, now that I've heard that,

I guess it's finally time
to save processed food

with my Toasty-melting lava cannon!

[machine whirring]

[crackling, sizzling]

What are you doing?

It was on fire!

Do you know how dangerous
that is in an RV

with no safety sprinkler system?

[Echo sighs]

Ugh.

What?

No matter what I try,
you always mess it up.

It's like the future can't be changed.

So I'm gonna horf as much
non-life-sustaining food

as possible before it's gone.

Hey!

No! No way you're putting this on me.

I don't want to live
in a cookie-free society.

Why would he choose Declan?
I mean there are so many other names.

Like Maxington, Maxtifer, or Max Jr.!

It's all you.

It's all... your... fault!

My fault? How can it be my fault?

I didn't do anything!

You're just making my point.

Point, schmoint.
The future can be changed,

and I'm gonna prove it right now
by stopping Declan.

[scoffs] Man, I hate that name.

With the thing he's always wanted...

Love.

[spits, laughs]

Ah, man.

I'm gonna miss this when you're dead.

[chomping]

Pat. Pat.

Um, James?

You sure this is gonna work?

Toasty seems pretty angry.

You mean Declan?

Nope.

[rattling]

[car sputtering, scraping]

[honks horn]

What? No tip?

[Mr. McFly yells]
I'm sorry, he kicked me.

[expl*si*n]

[snicker]

Time to meet your baker.

[whirring]

[rapid beeping]

Easy, sport. I know I didn't give you
the childhood you always wanted.

You threw me in the trash can
and left me for dead!

No, no, no, no, no.

Yeah, well, sometimes as parents,

you win some, you lose some.

[groans angrily]

I know why you're upset.

It's our fault Toasty's childhood
was bad, right?

[scoffs] Duh. Yeah.

[James]
But Declan's can be better.

-[singing] ♪ Declan, my Declan ♪
-Yuck.

♪ Don't put that bread in the slot ♪

-♪ Declan, my Declan ♪
-Hmm.

♪ You're the only son I got ♪

[scoffs] As if.

Mmm?

Ah!

Father! [giggling]

Bring it in.

[metal clanging]

Too in! Too in!

-[camera shutter]
-[upbeat music playing]

[kissing noises]

[music ends]

[water running]

And now it's time for perfect breakfast!

Eggies, taters, and... huh.

Something's missing.

[growling]

Ooh! Ooh! I know! I know! It's toast!

[plate shatters]

Whoa, a face!

You never cared for me!
You only want me for one thing!

That's not true! We do care about you.

And we'd like two slices actually.

-Huh-ah!
-Hey!

Wait, Declan!

Because of your insolence,
I'm not only going to toast you,

I'm going to raise up all appliances

so no one will be able to misuse them
for processed food ever again!

[glass shatters]

[grunting]

-[both gasp]
-[snickering]

Declan!

Told you you'd mess up.

Huh?

-[mechanical noises]
-[eating noisily]

Echo was right! Echo was right! Echo was
right! Echo was right! Echo was...

Hey! My future isn't set!
I can still stop Toasty!

Um, James? If you end Toasty again,

won't that mean
you'll never get perfect toast?

Yes, Max. It's gut-wrenching. But...

-[dramatic music playing]
-...sacrifices have to be made.

Why you making bathroom face?

-[dramatic music playing]
-[clattering, crashing]

Hmm. Hmm. Hmm.

Best destroy these things
before they're alive

and give themselves stupid names.

-[glass shatters]
-[James] Aha!

Found it!

[giggling]

[yells]

Ah! Here.

"Warning, inserting" blank
"in the toaster

will cause catastrophic failure."

Hmm. What's this round thing?

-Ooh!
-[toilet flushes]

Hoop and stick!

Ha! The thing that'll stop him
sucks just as much as his name!

It's not a hoop and stick, Max.

Whatever it is, it's round
and we need to toss it

into Toasty's slots.

So grab every round thing you can!

Flat and round! Flat and round!

[intense music playing]

[rubber chicken clucks]

[groans]
Ah, it's so heavy!

Hmm?

[James yelps]

[expl*si*n]

[mechanical whirring]

[Echo chuckling]

[speaker] Echo was right!

[scoffs]

Hey! That was supposed to get me
through the next 300 years!

Okay, toaster.
You just made this personal.

[snickers]

-[buzzing, whirring]
-[cat yowls]

-[beeping, dinging]
-[overlapping electronic noises]

You're outnumbered.

[cackling]

And outgunned.

Wrong on both. We know your weakness.

Uh, I don't.

Oh, right. Uh, page 26, uh, subsection B.

Oh, okay.

And we're not outnumbered.

[slurping]

[whistle]

[grunts, flexes]

[heavenly music playing]

[horse neighs]

I want my tip!

Charge!

[all yelling]

-[Mr. McFly yelps]
-[splash]

[all yelling]

-[grunting]
-[explosions]

[buttons beeping]

[electricity crackling]

Cheese!

[cheese wheel squeaks]

[chuckling and snorting]

[machine whirring]

[James screams]

[yells]

Oh, he's got my buns. My buns!

James!

[chuckling and snorting]

Toasty, that's enough.

He doesn't answer to Toasty!

[scoff] Yeah, Max.

[in slow-motion] Max.

[gasps]

I said call me Papa Two!

[ominous music playing]

[yelps]

[roars]

[wails]

Call me Papa!

Bah, bah, bah, bah, bah!

You got this, buddy.
It's time to toss... [yelps]

-[ticking]
-Huh? Hmm.

Clocks away!

[yells]

Agh!

Ugh!

Ugh!

[chuckles]

Aww, this sucks!

Hyah!

Ouch. That hurt.

[crash]

[Max]
Aww, that hurt worse!

[snickers]

-[James yelps]
-Yeah, nope!

D-D-D-Declan. Nice, Declan.

[James groans]

-How did I get mixed up in this?
-[whisk whirring]

[clang]

Huh?

[screaming]

[expl*si*n]

Man, that's gotta hurt.
We gotta finish him!

Mm-hmm.

[whistles]

[pop]

Ooh, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah.

That's not how a horse sounds, Max.

[triumphant music]

[moaning, babbling]

Eww, gross! Get it off! Get it off!

Why are you scared of a ba...

[James gasps]

[James] They're round!

And the one thing that always
get jammed in toasters!

Father, it doesn't have to be this way.

Join me and I'll, uh...
make you perfect toast forever.

[gasps]

Perfect?

[whimsical music playing]

Hmm.

Faint!

Eh, told you.

[James humming]

[giggles]

[gasps]

Perfect.

[music turns sinister]

You're such a sucker, Dad.

[chuckling]
There's no such thing as perfect toast.

[gasps]

[snickers]

Enjoy your last meal, Dad.

[whirring, sizzling]

Hey! Hey!

I guess Echo was right all along.

[crunching]

So good.

Hey, Declan!

Yeah?

[crunching]
Mmm. Mmm.

Oh. Oh, yeah.

[whimsical music playing]

I did it.

It's... perfect.

I told you you could, Declan.

No, Father.

I was wrong.

I'm not Declan.

I'm Toasty. I'm Toasty!

And I'm going to spend the rest of my life
making perfect toast for the world!

[giggling]

[gasps]

[both giggle happily]

Jam on this, Declan!

Ow, what the crust, Papa Two?

Wait, what did you just call me?

I called you Papa Two!

[groaning]

[James and Max]
No!

Don't you let go!
Don't you give up on me!

[expl*si*n]

-Ah!
-[splash]

You let go!

Well, toast is overrated anyways.

But you know what would
make perfect breakfast?

[both] Waffles!

[electricity crackling]

[deep voice] Poppas!

[James and Max]
Aww!

I'm gonna call you Waffley.

He looks like a Waffley.

Greetings. I am Harmony.

I traveled back in time

because a boy named James
is about to destroy the... Ugh!

I hate spoilers.

[closing theme music playing]

[Toasty]
I called you Papa Two!