01x03 - Broke 'N' Yo-Yo

[bunniefuu]

- Boy: I ordered first.


- Boy 2: Come on, come on.

Come on, I've been waiting 25 minutes.

( Clears throat ) What is all the commotion? Everyone wants a banana
-fo
-fana smoothie.

It's like drinking happiness.


- How good can it be?
- Mmm.

Sweet mama from yokohama, that is good! Okay, you can give it back now.

Dude, you're bogarting all the fo
-fana! Give it back! Ah! That's like drinking a mother's love.

My good man, get these lovely ladies another smoothie of their choice
-
- I mean besides me
-
- and put it on my card.

Man, do I love these student cash cards.

Zack, you can only use it for meals, books and other necessities.

These ladies are necessities.

I can eat and read when I'm old.

I'll show you a better way to impress women.

Oh, cool, a piece of plastic on a string.

Hey, Bailey, check out the new move I've been practicing for the string fling yo
-yo competition.

Cody, you're awesome.

No offense, but that made your trick look like a cowpie.

Who's the yo
-yo with the yo
-yo? That's johan yo.

He's won eight gold medals at the yolympics.

So you're toast? Not if I master my new trick.

I call it the around
- the
-universe
-string theory.

Watch.

Ready? Ready? Here I go.

Was that supposed to happen? Uh Yes.

Oh.

Then yay.

You are adorable.

Here, buy yourself a coral paperweight.

Oh ay oh, oh ay oh come along with me and let's head out to see what this world has for you and for me now whichever way the wind blows
- we say
- hey
-ho, let's go!
- oh ay oh
- this boat's rocking
- oh ay oh
- ain't no stopping us now 'cause we're living the suite life
- oh ay oh
- this boat's rocking
- oh ay oh
- rocking the whole world round and we're living the suite life now hey ho! Oh ay oh let's go!
- ( Grunts )
- ( Creaking ) Stupid sea
-school closet.

What are you doing? These closets are way too small.

I believe that's my closet, and if you take it, all I'll have left is that hook.

Ooh, I'm gonna need that.

Hi, picture of me.

That's so cute.

I hate to be pushy, but I believe this room is supposed to be half mine.

That sounds like math.

Not my thing.

What are your shoes doing in my desk? Where are my textbooks? I put them in that little cubbyhole.

That's the porthole.

You dumped my schoolbooks into the ocean? Maybe a school of fish will find them.

School, fish
-
- you get it?
- Yeah, I get it.


- Good, can you explain it to me? Hey, Zack, other than this minor injury, I think I'm getting the hang of this thing.

Yeah, if smack the face is a trick, you're a shoe
-in.

Hey, babe, want to try a chocolate
-covered lobster? Uh, sounds gross, but 'kay.

Uh, Zack You really shouldn't be using up your cash card on all this stupid stuff.

It's not stupid stuff.

Here are your monogrammed golf clubs.

And why are you bringing them to me and not my robot caddy? Om, money.

Om, money.

What the feathers happened to our room? You said split it in half, so I did.

The bottom half is mine and the top half is yours.

You mean the air? No, silly.

I built you a custom
-made loft! How in the haystack am I supposed to get up there? On your custom
-made ladder! Now get on up there and give it a ride, cowgirl.

Believe me, you are going to love it.

You'll have a balcony and a great view.


- Of what?
- Of me! Yee
-haw.

Ow! Careful.

Don't dent the ceiling.

Hey, Zack, have you seen Bailey? Yes.

Johan invited her and a whole bunch of other girls to see his yo
-yo collection.

I hear it's huge.

This party is awesome, Zack.

Wait a minute.

You threw this party? We're celebrating.

Annie turns 15 in three and a half months!
- Whoo!
- Yeah! I swiped this card and the machine just laughed.

( Laughs ) Seriously, though, you maxed out your card.

You used up all the money on your card? No, I used up all the money on yours.

I maxed out mine yesterday.

Then this is yours.

Is it a snowflake? Is it a butterfly? No.

You took my card? Well, you left it lying around.

It was in my wallet, under my pillow, guarded by Mr.

snuggle bear.

Well, he didn't put up much of a fight.

Zack! That was all the money we had for food for the entire semester.

Well, why didn't you tell me that before I took your card? Cody? Are you coming to give me a hug? Maybe not.

Ugh.

Ow.

Ugh! This is t*rture.

It's so stuffy up here.

Ow! Could you please keep it down with the ows? I'm trying to sleep.

I'm sorry if my cries of pain are keeping you awake.

Hey, it's no bed of roses down here either.

Well, actually, it is.

My mattress is stuffed with rose petals.

Smell? Okay, that's it.

Look, London, this isn't easy for me to say, 'cause I don't like to complain and I really want us to be friends, but
-
- oh, dad
-gum it! I'm just gonna say it.

( Snores ) Me me me me me me me me.

I've gotta learn to get to my point faster.

At least I bought these custom fishing poles before I maxed out your card.

Great thinking ahead, Zack.

Oh.

Oh! I've got a bite.


- Here comes dinner, baby!
- Awesome.

You caught the elusive speckled sun hat.

Here's an idea.

Why don't you go over to Piper, get back that expensive watch you bought her and return it? And with that money we can eat something that isn't made of straw.

Fine.

Hey, Piper.

Funny story
-
- really funny.

I love a funny story.


- I need the watch back.


- Yeah, I don't get it.

That's the thing: You don't get it.


- I really need the watch back.


- Fine.

And to think I paid for those flamenco lessons! Zack, Cody.

I've had some complaints of passenger's hats being whisked away by fishing hooks.

Any thoughts? Love the yellow jacket.

It's Zack's fault.

He used up all the money on our student cards for the entire semester.


- Mmm.


- Now we're broke and hungry.

Boys, we've known each other a long time and, as you know, I am nothing if not reasonable.

So you'll put some money on our cards? No.

I have a better idea.

Hey, busboy, clean up that mess.

And when you're done with that, some kid puked by the pool.

Isn't that the towel boy's job? Actually, he puked up a smoothie, so that's all you.

My job stinks.

Thanks to you,
- I'm a human hamper.


- Man: Towel boy! Oh, this smells like armpit! Oh, quit complaining.

These customers are driving me crazy.

"I wanted a large, not a small.

" "You forgot the coconut shavings.

" "There's a toenail clipping in my drink.

" Ow.

Ow.


- Hey, guys.


- What happened to you? What happened? I'm living on a shelf and it's turned me into a human question mark.

Poor thing.

Let me help you.


- ( Cracks )
- Ow.

Ow! Oh!
- Thanks.


- Well, you're welcome.

Hey hey hey hey! Not the face.

Oh!
- Awesome.


- Anyways I tried reasoning with London, but it's like talking to a tractor.

That's offensive to tractors everywhere.

What you need to do is you need to scheme her into doing what you want her to do.

Oh no, that would be lying.

I don't lie.

Well, except that time I told our Turkey everything would be okay right before Thanksgiving.

Oh, gobblers, I'm so sorry.

The good thing is London will be easier to fool.

People! How many towels do you need? And for the last time: These things aren't tissues! I hate this job and it's all thanks to you.

Well, if you could win that yo
-yo contest, you can get a cash prize of 1,000 bucks.

The only way I could b*at johan is if I perfect my universal
-string
- theory trick.

And to do that, I'd have to practice day and night.


- ( Sighs )
- So I'll do both of our jobs, then you win the contest, get the money, impress Bailey and we get to quit our jobs! It's win
-win
-win Win.

Sorry.

Sorry.

Excuse me.


- Man: Towel!
- Coming! Hey, juice monkey.

Towel.

Zack!
- Man 2: Here, catch!
- Man 3: Towel boy.

Man 2: Here's mine.

Man 4: Come on.

Pick it up.


- London, what are you doing?
- My toes.

This little piggy went to the stock market, and this little piggy stayed home.

This little piggy ate roast beef, and this little piggy had none, because she's a vegetarian.

And this little piggy wore a 24k white
-gold toe ring.

Yay, piggy! Who's a good piggy?
- Uh, London, do you hear that?
- ( Chittering from recorder )
- What is that?
- Could be sea snarks.


- What's a sea snark?
- They're sea creatures that eat through the bulkheads of ships.

You know, I've been on hundreds of cruises
- and I've never heard of sea snarks.


- Uh, that's because Snarks only get in on the lower decks.

You usually stay on the upper decks.

You're right.

I've never been this low.

What do snarks do? Mostly munch on purses and matching belts.

( Gasps ) I have purses and matching belts.

They're also attracted to red nail Polish.

I'm wearing red nail Polish! They might nibble on my piggies! Thank goodness I'm safe.

Sea snarks can't climb.

I'll switch beds Just for fun.

Hey, juice boy! Towel, please! Cool towel gizmo.

Where'd you get it? This is a confetti Cannon.

I borrowed it from the ship's party planner.

The same way you "borrowed" Cody's meal card? Pretty much.

So, I see you're standing up straight.

Decided to trick London, huh?
- I wouldn't say "trick" exactly.


- ( London screams ) The sea snarks are after me! Okay, maybe a little trick.

Do you think I'm a bad person? No, I think you did the right thing.


- Then why do I feel so guilty?
- Because you are.

Oh.

Hey, johan.

As one yo
-yo artist to another, I just wanted to say good luck out there.

You're going down Then up, then down.

I am toast.

You've got to get it together, buddy.

We've got a lot riding on this and you can't afford to be such a screw
-up.

It would be nice if, as my brother, you encouraged me.

You're right.

I should.

( Sighs ) Oh, you meant now.

( Loud chittering from recorder ) I think the sea snarks are building a nest in my purses.

London, the truth is There's no such thing as sea snarks.

Oh, you're just saying that to try to trick me and my piggies into coming down.

No, I said that to trick you and your piggies into going up.

There's that gnawing again.

Make it stop.

Make it stop! Okay okay, I'll turn it off.


- ( Chittering stops )
- ( London shrieks ) That sea snark disguised himself as a digital recorder! No, sea snarks don't exist.

I made it up.

Look, London.

I want to say I'm really sorry for lying to you.

Well, you should be sorry.

How could you do that to me? What did I ever do to you? Ow, my back! I know.

My back still hurts too.

You mean it made you feel this bad? Yes.

I couldn't stand for two days.

Oh, you poor thing
-
- in pain, hunched over, forced to look at those hideous shoes.

I guess we haven't been very good roommates to each other.

( Sighs ) I guess not.

So can I put my bed back on the floor? ( Sighs ) Well
- Okay.


- And we can be real roommates and best friends, and share the room and maybe even some clothes and jewelry? Hold your plow there, farm girl.

One ugly
-shoe step at a time.


- ( Microphone feedback )
- Moseby: Ladies and gentlemen, I would like to welcome you to this year's string fling yo
-yo competition.

And to our young competitors I would just like to say:
- Yo
-yo, what's up?
- ( Silence ) Both: Ugh.

Okay, you know what? Why don't we begin with our preliminary round? After 10 minutes of our contestants' best yo
-yoing, our judges will pick our two finalists.

Mmm? Okay, on your mark, get set, yo.

Ooh! That was close.

It went right by me.

Mmm? Thank you.

We're down to our two finalists.


- Johan yo
- ( Applauding ) And Cody Martin.

Go, Cody! Yes! Welcome to the finals.

I'm dedicating my performance to Bailey.

Now you've crossed the line.

And now it's time for our final yo
-down.

First up, johan yo.

Boo! Boo! Boo boo
-
- no? I need a towel over here!
- Moseby: Oh.


- ( Applauding ) And now the other kid.

You're gonna do great, Cody.

Just in case.

Space The final frontier.

Yes, Cody, get some! That's not good.


- Man: Towel, please.


- Ugh, sticky.

( Women screaming ) Zack, what are you doing? Oh! Oh no, the trigger's stuck!
- Let me fix it.


- What do you think I've been trying to do? ( Both grunting ) Oh! Oh! ( Yelling ) As I pass through a meteor shower, I complete the around
- the
-universe
-string theory! ( Grunting ) Both: What? Oh, yeah, the thing.

And the winner is
-
- ah!
-
-Johan yo! Don't feel bad, Cody.

He is a professional.

A professio
-
- huh? A professional yo
-yo, yo? Well, this contest is for amateurs only! Ladies and gentlemen, even though the brilliant Mr.

yo was clearly the best, I must reluctantly give this award to The other kid.

Yes! Oh! Oh! Oh! Give me the big check.

Oh, come on.

Give me the big check.


- Please.

Oh!
- Oh.

Move.

Yes! We can finally quit those horrible jobs.

Oh yes, as soon as we find a giant teller to cash this giant check.

I don't think so.

Give me that check.

This should just about cover the damages Zack's towel g*n caused.

So you mean We still have to work if we want to eat? Boys, boys, boys Maybe there's a lesson in all of this.

Maybe in the future, you two will become more responsible.

Can't even say it with a straight face.

( Beeps ) Sorry, buddy.

Looks like your card's maxed out.

What?! No no.

No no no.

Check again, check again, check again.


- Swipe
-
-
- I'm gonna have to cut you off.

Oh.

Oh, you're right.

I mean I should know when to quit.

Oh, look
-
- a mermaid! Ugh! Brain freeze.