02x01 - Rescue Rangers to the Rescue: Part 1

[bunniefuu]

♪♪

[THUNDER CRASHING]

[POLICE SIRENS WAILING]

♪ Sometimes some crimes

♪ Go slippin'
through the cracks

♪ But these two gumshoes

♪ Are pickin' up the slack

♪ There's no case too big,
no case too small

♪ When you need help,
just call

♪ Ch-Ch-Ch-Chip 'n Dale's

♪ Rescue Rangers

♪ Ch-Ch-Ch-Chip 'n Dale

♪ When there's danger

♪ No, no, it never fails

♪ 'Cause once
they're involved

♪ Somehow whatever's wrong
gets solved

♪ Ch-Ch-Ch-Chip 'n Dale

♪ Rescue Rangers

♪ Ch-Ch-Ch-Chip 'n Dale

♪ When there's danger

♪ No, no, it never fails

♪ They'll take the clues

♪ And find the wheres
and whys and whos

♪ Ch-Ch-Ch-Chip 'n Dale

♪ Rescue Rangers

♪ Ch-Ch-Ch-Chip 'n Dale

♪ When there's danger

♪ Ch-Ch-Ch-Chip 'n Dale ♪

As heroic test pilot Chip
scans the morning skies,

he scientifically tests
the weather conditions.

The wind is at his back,
the updraft is perfect,
and the clouds...

-[CLATTERING]
-Will you hurry up, Dale?

How come I gotta
lug all this junk?

'Cause you're
the fearless copilot
who can handle any job.

Hey, yeah! Make way
for the fearless copilot.

There you go, Chip!

Did I say fearless?
I meant brainless!

Hold this!

[EXCLAIMS IN SURPRISE]

Now give it back.

There! The Furball XL-9
is ready for takeoff.

Oh, boy, oh, boy,
oh, boy!

Crash helmets on?

Check!

Then blast off!

Hang on, Dale!

We're about to go
where no chipmunk
has gone before.

[WHOOPING]

BOTH: Uh-oh.

[BOTH SCREAMING]

[WOMAN SCREAMING]

[GLASS SHATTERING]

Hey! Look, Chip,
it followed me home.

Can I keep it?

Anyone in there?

Hey, look.
It works!

[TIRES SCREECHING]

A car chase!

[HORN HONKING]

[PLATO HOWLING]

Hey, it's Plato!

He must be
after a crook.

Come on!

Some fun,
huh, Chip?

We're right on his tail,
Plato.

Give him
the siren again.

[HOWLING]

I gotta lose that cop.
And, boy, is he ugly!

Get on your own
side of the car, Plato.

[WHIMPERING]

Oh, don't pout.

I'm counting on you
to use the famous
Crime Bite on him.

[BARKS]

Hey, Plato!

Well, hello, lads.

Came to catch
the action, eh?

Sure did.
Who're you chasing?

That scoundrel up ahead
stole the Clutchcoin
Ruby necklace.

[BOTH EXCLAIMING]

But don't worry,
Detective Drake and I

will apprehend
the villain.

[BOTH EXCLAIMING]

Now, hang on.

You got it.

[HOWLING]

That's telling him,
Plato!

Yeah!

[HOWLING]

[BOTH HOWLING]

This is Detective Drake.

I'm gonna need some backup!

Boss! Boss!
I got the ruby!

KIRBY: You want us
to take over, Detective?

I may be retiring
in a month, but I ain't
over the hill yet.

Plato and I'll go
through here.

You take
the other side.

Got you, Detective.

And keep your eyes open.

He may try to stash the ruby.

Hey, Plato,
can we watch you
catch the bad guy?

Can we, can we, can we?

All right.
But step lively
and keep your heads down.

b*ll*ts may fly.

Oh, boy!

Bang! Bang!
Ka-bang! Ka-bang!

Boss, where are you?

[LAUGHING WICKEDLY]

KIRBY: He came in this way.

He's not here.

This ought to
rattle their badges.

We're trapped!

This was a whole lot easier
when we were
a whole lot younger.

Hey, there he is!

[GASPING]

Look, it's the ruby.

[SIGHS]

We gotta make
some noise
to bring Plato.

Got you!

It sounds
like the lads.

You hear something, boy?

How tempting.

But that would be
much too quick.

What I have planned
will hurt Drake more
than a ton of lumber.

All right, Percy.
Hold it right there!

Dale!

You ain't taking me,
coppers!

Bang! Bang!
Bang! Bang!

What?

I gotta save Dale.

[EXCLAIMING]
Oh, that's cold!

[LAUGHING] Hey, no!
Stop! Cut that out!

Going up!

Hey! Come on!
Come on!

Let me down!

What's going on,
Plato?

[CHUCKLING]

Thanks, Chipper.

Okay, Plato,
do your stuff,
big guy!

Oh, boy!
The Crime Bite!

Go get him,
Plato!

[CHOMPING]

[WHOOPING]

Nice job, Plato.

Way to go,
Detective.

You got back
the necklace!

Yeah, but it looks
like that crook, Percy,
got away.

KLORDANE: Oh, Percy, ever
the fashion trendsetter.

[STUTTERING] Boss!
Mr. Klordane,
I was looking for you.

Uh, it's been a really
tough morning.

I know, Percy.

I saw it all, even when
you lost the necklace.

Hey, that wasn't my fault!

I was chased by the cops,
and their big dog bit me,

and this chipmunk
grabbed my nose!

Ow! Oh, see?
It hasn't been my day.

It's quite all right,
Percy.

I expected you
to lose the necklace.

You did?

[CHUCKLING] Of course.

Idiots are,
if nothing else,
dependable.

Gosh, thanks,
Mr. Klordane.

As for my old friend,
Detective Drake,

it's time I paid him a visit.

PERCY: Ow!

[PEOPLE CHATTERING]

SPINELLI: Nice work, Drake.

Yeah, trying to
make us all look bad
before he retires.

Oh, compared to
some of my early cases,
this was nothing.

Speaking of nothing,
the Captain wants to see you.

[WHIMPERING EXCITEDLY]

Watch the desk
while I turn in the evidence,
partner.

Yes, sir!

I hear you did well,
Plato.

Got to use the famous
Crime Bite, huh?

[SNARLING]

Good work, boy.

And you lads did
good work, too!

-Really, Plato?
-We did? We did?

Well, you defeated the crook
and you got the ruby back.

I'd call that
first-class police work.

Hey, maybe we could be
policemen someday.

Or policemunks, anyway.

[PLATO LAUGHING]

Wow! Will you
teach us how, Plato?

Well, I suppose I could
give you a few pointers.

Oh, boy, oh, boy,
oh, boy!

First of all, men,
you must never panic
under fire.

Oh, I wasn't scared
for a second.

Oh, you were, too!

-Was not! Was not!
-Were too! Were too!

-Was not!
-Were too!

All right,
my lovely Fat Cat.

Now it's time
for you to make Drake's life
extremely uncomfortable.

Here, Captain.
I got the necklace back.

Great work,
Don.

I knew I could
count on you.

The Clutchcoin Ruby,
largest, purest ruby
in the world.

[WHISTLES]

Boy, I'd like to find this
in my Christmas stocking.

Why, a person could retire
on the gold alone.

You know, Captain,
there's something screwy
about this robbery.

First, the crook came in
through the bathroom window.

Next, he opened the safe
with a silver spoon.

-[MUFFLED SCREAMING]
-This has all the earmarks
of that master thief...

BOTH: Aldrin Klordane!

CAPTAIN: You gotta be
kidding, Don.

Klordane drowned
over a year ago.

But, Captain,
we never found the body.

I know,
it doesn't make sense,

but I'd swear
that guy's still around.

-CHIP: Were too! Were too!
-DALE: Was not! Was not!

You're just jealous
'cause I was the hero.

[CHITTERING]

Lads, that's no way
to behave.

Police work takes teamwork.

You've got to watch out
for your partner.

Uh, sorry, partner.

PLATO: And when
you're following a suspect,
don't wear a funny hat.

This is great stuff, Plato.
What else?

And above all, lads,
remember this.

Cases are solved
by dogged perseverance.

You must never,
never give up.

Right! "Never give up."

That's humorous coming
from you, Plato.

You should have given up
years ago, you old fossil.

Fat Cat!

I thought you drowned
with your boss.

Oh, no.
We're doing quite well,
thank you.

Which is more
than I can say

about that
feeble-minded flatfoot
you hang around with.

Why, you...

[YOWLING]

[PLATO BARKING]

What's all the racket,
Spinelli?

It's Plato, sir.

Drake! Grab that dog of yours
before he wrecks the place!

[STAMMERING] Yes, sir!

DALE: Yahoo!
Ride 'em, chipmunk!

Get those animals!

ALL: Yes, sir!

Alive!

[ALL MOANING]

That's Klordane's cat!
But that means...

CAPTAIN: The Clutchcoin Ruby!
It's gone!

Don, you were
the last one
in my office.

Did you see anyone?

[YOWLING]

[GASPING]
The necklace!

What's it doing
in Drake's coat?

And where's the ruby?

I'm telling you,
that was Klordane's cat!

First you blame
a drowned man,
now you blame his pet.

KIRBY: And look at this.

Airline tickets
and a fistful
of gambling debts.

I don't believe it!

The Detective,
a thief?

Wait!
Those aren't mine!

I suppose they're the cat's?

Yeah. No.

[STAMMERING]
I mean, it wasn't the cat.
It was...

CAPTAIN:
I hate to do this, Don,

but I'm afraid
you're under arrest.

[PLATO GROWLING]

Muldoon, quit playing
with the dog.

Let go, Plato!

I'm just following
the Captain's orders.

MULDOON: Oh, darn!

KIRBY:
Better lock him in, too.
Keep him out of trouble.

The necklace,
the missing ruby

and those gambling IOUs
that were in your pocket?

It doesn't look good, Don.

You know it wasn't me,
Spinelli.

Those papers were planted!

It must be Klordane.

He's framing me
to get me out of the way.

Hey, man,
we believe in you,

but the DA's gonna
want a better defense
than a dead crook, dig?

Psst!

What are you
going to do, Plato?

What can I do?

Dash it, I should've
kept my temper.

If I were
free right now,

I'd be able
to track down that ruby
and clear Drake's name.

Hey, maybe Dale
and I can do it.

You, do police work?

Think about it.
Haven't we studied
all your cases?

That's right.
And we listen
to all your stories.

Dash! That doesn't
make you policemen.

We helped get that necklace,
didn't we?

That's true.

You're right.
With the ruby back,
they can't hold us.

Very well, men,
here's your mission.

Find Klordane.

How do we do that?

Try his last hideout,
the Happy Tom
Catfood factory.

If he's there, sneak in,
get the ruby, and get out.

"...and get out."
Got it.

Oh, boy,
our first case.

Freeze, you bad guys,
we got you surrounded!

Bang! Bang!

Listen, lads,
this is no game.

Detective Drake and I
will catch the criminals.

You two just stay
out of trouble.

Right.
We're on our way.

See you, Plato.

Good luck, lads!

But what chance
do a couple of
chipmunks have?

This is where
Klordane's hideout
is supposed to be.

[SQUEAKING]

Take a moment
to appreciate it,
gentlemen.

I got the ruby
and Drake got the blame.

But, boss, that jewel
is world-famous.
How are you gonna fence it?

Fence it?
Oh, the small dreams
of small minds.

Do you think I would settle
for a paltry few million?

No, no. This beauty
is going to the Professor.

He and I have much
bigger plans for it.

You boys, make sure
that everything is ready
for my Arctic trip.

I don't want any slip-ups.

KLORDANE: We'll meet back here
tomorrow morning at 8:00.

Mother always said
I had expensive tastes.

MOLE: Who's there?

Just open the door,
you mental midgets.

Sorry, boss.

He has a g*ng?

Wow, Fat Cat,
you got the ruby!

The guys up in the casino
are gonna go nuts.

They said you couldn't
swipe it.

They also said
the world was flat.

It isn't?

No, only your head.

Is the meeting set, Mole?

Yeah.
The twins are expecting us
in Chinatown at midnight.

Perfect.

This really sets off my eyes,
don't you think?

I've always said Klordane
is remarkably discriminating,

yeah, yeah, for a human.

Now, let's get up
to the casino.

I must share my magnificence
with the little people.

Gee, Fat Cat,
isn't Mr. Klordane
gonna be mad

when he finds
the ruby missing?

He's not going to
find it missing,

my little nearsighted
numbskull.

Klordane will have
his ruby back
after I've had my fun.

Thank you, Bruno.

We're gonna
have to go in there
and get that ruby.

In there?
That's Fat Cat's casino.

Are you nuts?

Hey, Mortie,
looks like Fat Cat's

got himself
a case of the snoops.

Don't be such a big,
whiny baby.

We'll just be
extra careful.

Mom, is that you?

Gosh! This detective stuff
is easier than I thought.

Hiya, Bruno!

You see? I told you
we needed disguises.

[ALL CHATTERING]

Oh, boy!
This place is great!

What do you think
you're doing?

Oh, come on, Chip.
It looks like fun.

We've got a job to do!

Remember what Plato said?
"Dogged perseverance."

Oh, boy, oh, boy!

What are you doing?
We're not supposed
to attract attention!

Get rid of that stuff!

Okay.

Like my new sparkler, boys?

We didn't think you could
get your paws on it, Fat Cat.

Oh, ye of little brain.

It's trinkets like these
that show the world
what I deserve,

the best.

♪ You can't expect
a true gourmet

♪ To settle for
mere fish flambe

♪ My diet screams
for triple-star

♪ Beluga caviar

♪ And cream
by any other name

♪ Cannot compare
with French champagne

♪ So pop the cork
and tip your hat

♪ A toast to me, Fat Cat

♪ I want the best
of everything

♪ Golden crowns
and diamond rings

♪ Servants at my beck
and call

♪ I'll make them crawl

♪ You know I want it all

♪ My velvet tux
is tailor-made

♪ Embroidered silk
and jewel brocade

♪ My good taste
is so refined

♪ I demand the top
of the line

♪ Only hand-crushed
Greek volcanic rocks

♪ Shall line my
lacquered litter box

♪ A fine Italian marble bust

♪ Engraved,
In Fat Cat We Trust

ALL: ♪ He wants
the best of everything

♪ Golden crowns
and diamond rings

♪ Servants at his beck
and call

♪ He'll make them crawl

♪ You know he wants it all

♪ He wants the best
of everything

♪ Golden crowns
and diamond rings

♪ Servants at his beck
and call

♪ I'll make them crawl

♪ You know I want it all

ALL: ♪ La, la, la ♪

FAT CAT: Why,
what do we have here?

[HUMMING]

A samba snack for
our dinner theater.

Yeah. We saw him and his pal
snooping outside.

Pal?

Yeah. You leave
my buddy alone

or you'll never
see the ruby again.

[GASPING]

My ruby!

What have you done with it,
you diminutive nut-muncher?

Put Dale down first.

Hi.

All right.
Where's the jewel?

Over there!

Run for it!

Get them!

[GIGGLING]

Uh-oh.

This way!

We're gonna make it!
We're gonna make it!

Faster!
Faster!

[BOTH SCREAMING]

[FAT CAT SIGHS]

Double zero.
It looks like I win.

Now see what
your goofing off
got us into?

I don't know who you are
and I don't care.

But when you cross Fat Cat,

you go splat.

[BOTH SCREAMING]