04x05 - The Pinky and the Brain Reunion Special

[bunniefuu]

Gee, Brain,

what do you
want to do tonight?

The same thing
we do every night,
Pinky--

Try to take over
the world.

♪ They're Pinky
and the Brain ♪

♪ yes, Pinky
and the Brain ♪

♪ one is a genius ♪

♪ the other's insane ♪

♪ they're
laboratory mice ♪

♪ their genes
have been spliced ♪

♪ they're dinky ♪

♪ they're Pinky
and the Brain ♪

♪ Brain, Brain, Brain ♪

♪ Brain, Brain, Brain,
Brain, Brain ♪

♪ before each night
is done ♪

♪ their plan
will be unfurled ♪

♪ by the dawning
of the sun ♪

♪ they'll take over
the world ♪

♪ they're Pinky
and the Brain ♪

♪ yes, Pinky
and the Brain ♪

♪ their twilight campaign ♪

♪ is easy to explain ♪

♪ to prove
their mousey worth ♪

♪ they'll overthrow
the earth ♪

♪ they're dinky ♪

♪ they're Pinky
and the Brain ♪

♪ Brain, Brain, Brain ♪

♪ Brain, Brain,
Brain, Brain ♪

narf!

Man: from the W.B.
Television studios
in Burbank, California,

this is ed McMAHON

with the Pinky & the Brain
reunion special...

[Audience applauding]

With host
Gavin MacLEOD,

appearances by some of
Hollywood's biggest stars,

and special guests,
Riverstomp.

[Celtic music playing
and clogs clanking]

Ed McMahon: and now,
here's your host
Gavin MacLEOD.

[Cheering and applauding]

Hello, I'm Gavin MacLEOD.

Tonight, we'll bring you
some classic moments

from one of TV's
best-Loved old comedy shows,

Pinky and the Brain.

We'll reminisce
with its fans, and later

thrill to the percussive
dance stylings of Riverstomp.

But what makes this night
so special,

ladies and gentlemen,

is that we will be
bringing you

the live reunion of
TV's greatest comedy team,

Pinky and the Brain.

Pinky and the Brain
began life

on the slappy white
summer replacement
special of 1972,

billed as hippy and dippy.
[Seventies pop music playing]

Like, hey, dippy.

Like, yes, hippy?

Did you, like,
take a bath today?

Why, man?

Is there, like,
one missing?
Ha ha ha!

Like, right on.

They weren't funny.
The material was so old,

Berle wouldn't steal it.

But I remember I said
to Lou wallenburg,

"let's give 'em a show.
They're cheap.

I mean, they eat
food pellets,
for crying out loud."

I said what?!

I said, "Lou, they're mice.
We'll do a show about mice,"

which was a radical thing
back then.

I mean, Danny Thomas
wasn't a mouse.

d*ck van d*ke
wasn't a mouse.

I don't even think
joey bishop was a mouse.

I said what?!

Their names were changed
to big head and silly,

and they began work
on the pilot episode.

[Gulps]
[Squeaks]

Oh, this is fun,
big head.

Here,
you take a turn.

Thanks, silly.

Whee! Whee!
Look at me!

Ha ha ha!

[Gulps]

Silly, we must prepare
for tomorrow night.

Why, big head?
What are we going to do
tomorrow night?

The same thing we do
every night, silly--

drink from
the water bottle

and frolic pointlessly
on this wheel.

[Gulps]
[Laughter and applause]

You could tell
they felt constrained by
the show's format.

Schmack! Schmack!
[Bell rings]

And you couldn't
blame them, really.

I mean, the format was
boring and stupid,

which was the name of
an old comedy team from
burlesque. Ha ha ha!

Schmack!
[Bell rings]

We were brought in
as head writers due to

the hit-making abilities

we demonstrated on
[Kisses statue]

Make room for Melvin.
Heh heh heh!

Before us, Melvin
had no room. Poit.

The obvious problems with
big head & silly were

the characterizations
were unoriginal,
[Humming]

The mezon scene
was reductive,

and there was no
dramatic tension.

[Hums Egyptian tune]

[Smack]
Uhh!

Boo-hoo-hoo-hoo.

[Smack]
Ooh!

So, we decided to
change their names.
Narf!

I came up with
Pinky.

I named
the other character
Brian, in honor of...me.

But Pincus was doing
the typing that day.

Zort!

Sorry for
the typo, Brian.

The quick brown fox
jumped over the lazy--

nincompoop.

Subsequently,
everything else
fell into place.

In each episode,
Brain--

A super-intelligent,
genetically altered lab mouse

would try to
take over the world!

Frankly, I don't know
where "narf" came from.

Narf!

The new formula
had its trial run

in the episode entitled
"make room for pants,"

the first of
what we think of today

as the classic
Pinky and the brains.

Not only will
the electric zipper

give me control of
the world's leaders, Pinky,

but it will
revolutionize pants.

B-l-b-l-B.

Not to mention
koulats. Poit!

The obvious problems
with the electric zipper are

the interlocking mechanism
is haphazard,

the fashion sense
is reductive,
[Humming]

And they look ugly
on clamdiggers.

We could always invent
electric fly buttons.

Narf!

And now, Pinky,
as soon as
my plan is perfected,

I will
take over the world!

And as soon as
my tape dispenser
is perfected,

I will
tape over my face!

Narf! Unh!
[Smack]

Look, Brain.

I'm muminchance!
Ha ha ha!

Laah.
[Laughter]

They had this thing--
it was a thing 2 guys have.

You can't explain it.
Dean and I had the thing.

Allen and Rossie
certainly had the thing.

James arness
was in the thing.

Charles grodin
has that thing
on his head.

But Pinky and Brain--
yeah. They had the thing.

Gavin MacLeod:
and that special "thing"
was never more in evidence

than in the classic episode
"make room for moses."

Brain,
remind me again

what we're doing
on this mountainside?

I told you, Pinky.
We are waiting for moses
to come by

on his way to fetch
the 2 tablets.

Oh. High altitude
giving you
a headache, Brain?

No, Pinky.
The tablets with
the ten commandments.

When moses isn't looking,

I will chisel
an 11th commandment--

"thou shalt
obey the Brain"--

and thereby
take over the world!

Brilliant, Brain!

Oh, but,
how will I know moses
when I see him?

You can't
miss him, Pinky.

He's a bearded man
with a staff.

A large staff,
or just a publicist
and a girl Friday?

Now I am
getting a headache, Pinky.

Well, maybe you can
borrow some tablets

from this hairy man
with a stick.

It's moses, Pinky!

Moses?! Oh, Brain,
what'll we do?

Don't worry, Pinky.

We'll simply hide behind
this bush.

Oh, heavenly father,

show me a sign.

Remind me
to add one more
commandment, Pinky--

"thou shalt
apply salve to
the affected area."

Narf!

McMahon: stay tuned
for more classic bits

from the golden age of
Pinky and the Brain...

[Applause]
Quickly, Pinky.

We must cut 18 minutes
from this tape.

Some hilarious
flubs and bloopies

from the series...

are you pondering
what I'm--

[Burps]

[Audience laughs
and applauds]

Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha!

Sorry, we'll take it again.
Ha ha ha!

And the excitement
of Riverstomp...

[Celtic music playing
and clogs clanking]

It's working
perfectly, Pinky.

Absolutely,
Brain! Narf!

Uh...what's
working perfectly?

My plan, of course.

Oh? What plan
is that?

My plan...to take over
the world!

[Crickets chirping]
Brain: yes, Pinky,

our pirate broadcast
is now visible

in every country
in the world.

Soon, everyone on earth
will be watching
our reunion special

made up entirely of
cleverly edited
home movies,

computer imaging,
and discarded footage

from the director's cut
of Kenneth branagh's
hamlet.

And I will broadcast
my hypno-beam

and the world will be
helpless to resist me!

Brilliant, Brain!
Oh, no, no, wait.

Why would anyone watch
a completely fabricated
television special

about a show that
never existed?

Did you watch
the [i][i]blossom
reunion special?

Oh, every minute,
Brain.

You didn't think
that show actually
existed, did you?

Oh! That explains
joey Lawrence's snub
at the emmys.

My plan is based on
these essential
points--

One, reunion specials
are huge ratings-grabbers.

Two, I've scheduled
our special

on an evening when
the only competition

is a homeboys from
outer space rerun

an arena football game,

and a nova documentary
on shoelaces.

[Click]
And finally--

three, no one can resist
the high-stepping,

trash-can pounding
adrenaline rush
of Riverstomp.

Narf!
But how did you get

all these celebrities
to be on the show,
Brain?

I promised them all
their own psychic hot lines

once I rule the world.

Poit! Oh,
you think of
everything, Brain.

Um, there's just
one thing I don't
understand, though.

Why did you choose
Gavin MacLEOD
to host the show?

George "goober" Lindsey
had a speaking engagement.

[Pop music playing]

♪ Mice mice baby ♪

word to your brotha.

Vanilla ice--
wasn't he something?

Once?

Now here's the host
of TV's bloops
and floobies,

d*ck Clark.
Thank you, Gavin.

Folks, tonight,
you're enjoying
some classic scenes

from [i][i]Pinky and the Brain.

Now, as anyone
who's worked on a set
can tell you,

things don't always go
so smoothly.

[Click]
Action!

They're our
robot counterparts, Pinky,

programmed to
imitate our behavior

down to the smallest detail.
Observe.

Narf!

[Smack]
Ow!

Oh, I like
them, Brain.
Ask them

if they'd like to
pray blidge on
Thursday.

Oh, dear. Ho ho ho!
[Laughter and applause]

"Pray blidge on
Thursday." Narf!

Heh!
Silly me.

Yes, silly you.
[Laughs]

[Beep]

d*ck Clark: poor Pinky.
Now the line is jinxed.

He'll never get it right.

[Click]
Action!

They're our
robot counterparts, Pinky,

programmed to
imitate our behavior

down to the smallest detail.
Observe.

Narf!

[Smack]
Ow!

Oh, I like
them, Brain.
Ask them

if they'd like to
pray--P-play--
blah!

[Laughter]
[Makes raspberry]

[Laughs]

Ha ha. Very funny.

[Beep]

Clark:
what Pinky doesn't know
is that Brain hates

being bopped on the head
with a pencil.

[Click]
Action!

They're programmed to
imitate our behavior

down to the smallest detail.
Observe.

Narf!

Clark: oh, there's
that pencil again.

[Smack]
Ow!

Clark: ooh!
That's gotta smart.

Oh, I like
them, Brain.
Ask them

if they'd enjoy--
um, parchee--

oh, fish--
oh, zort!

Heh! There
I go again!
[Laughs]

Pinky, I'm going to
have to--

lapse into unconsciousness.

Aah!
[Thud]

As popular as
Pinky and the Brain are

in the united states,

their unique brand
of humor

has won them adoring fans
all over the world.

Here's a fascinating clip
from the Italians' production

of the show known as
[i][i]Pinky et brainini.

[Mandolin music playing]

Do you ponder
what I ponder, Pinky?

I think so, brainini.

But arugula-flavored
gelato?

Pitiful clown--

I speak of
taking over the world.

How can you know
the world
when your soul is dead?

You stamp my passport
with poison, brainini.

I miss my wheel.
Narfo!

Ha ha ha ha!

[Spits]

[Helicopter
whirring]

Mama.

[i][i]Mamma Mia!

The reason for
their universal appeal
is obvious.

We all relate to them

as archetypical
representations
of our own psyches.

Pinky has a very powerful
inner child,

not to be confused with
his extremely powerful

outer child.

Brain, too, has
a small child
inside of him.

But I suspect
it's a very angry child

with a very large head.

Balderdash
and poppycock!

I wonder if
anyone is really
gullible enough

to buy this inane
Tv psychobabble.

[Hums]
Pinky?

Oh, what?
Oh, sorry Brain.

Heh. I wasn't
listening.

My inner child
is having a play date
with my outer child.

According to
my calculations,
Pinky,

by now, we must have
reached a 30 share
in the ratings.

Oh, goody!

Shall I press the big,
red, shiny button? Zort!

Uhh!

No, Pinky!

Our viewing audience
will be at capacity

during our
touching reunion.

It is [i][i]then
that I will beam
the hypnotic ray

through the Tv screen,
into households
throughout the world.

Well, why don't we
just stage our
touching reunion

right now, then,
Brain?

What? And miss
Riverstomp?

Their Gaelic-inflicted

garbage-can-cover
pounding

sends shivers
up my spine!

Oh, right! Heh.
What was I thinking? Narf!

McMahon:
we'll be right back

with more of
the Pinky & Brain
reunion special,

and more exciting
classic clips...

don't worry,
Pinky.

We'll just
stowaway here

aboard
the [i][i]Exxon Valdez.

A visit from
Willie Tyler & lester...

who you
callin' dummy, sucka?!

And a thrilling performance
by Riverstomp!

Yes? Yes?

No! No.

Egad!
Surely you jest!

That's Shirley,
the associate
something or other.

She's got bad news.

Yes?

Something about
something something
being something.

[Grunts]
Unh!

You think you could be
a little more specific?

[Nasal voice]
Um, no.

I had the phone
upside down.
Heh heh heh!

Yes? Yes?

No. No!

That was
just what I said--

except, of course,
for "egad."

Riverstomp's plane
is delayed.

Do you realize
what this means, Pinky?

Um...

Willie Tyler
will have to drink juice

while lester sings
[i][i]bad, bad Leroy brown?

No, worse
than that, Pinky.

It means
my plan is ruined!

Riverstomp's presence
on our reunion special

will ensure
maximum viewership
for our touching reunion.

If they don't show,
I'm doomed!

Mmm. Um, do I still
get to push

the big, red,
shiny button, Brain?

Yes, Pinky.

You still get to push
the big, red, shiny button.

Oh, goody, goody!
Narf!

I'm curious, Pinky.

Do you have
any idea why

you will push
the big, red, shiny button?

Um...
because it's big?

Uh-uh.

Because it's red?

No...

well, then, it must be
because it's shiny.

All right.
Last time--

maximum tune-in,

hypno-beam,

ruler of earth.

Things that have
a fringe!

I'm sorry.

Thank you for playing
[i][i]the $25,000 imbecile.

Here's your
consolation prize.

[Smack]
Ohh! Narf!

We'll just
have to stall

and hope Riverstomp
makes it in time.

It was either
the grueling schedule

or the lack of
fresh story lines,
or both.

But by the last season,
you could see

they were indifferent
and apathetic--

which was the name of
another vaudeville team.
Ha ha ha!

Schmack! Schmack!
[Bell rings]

Pinky, are you pondering--
you know.

I think so,
Brain, but, uhh,

something about
a duck.

You're probably
an idiot, Pinky.

[Smack]
Uhh!

[Yawns]

Zort.

Tonight's plan is...

ahh, who cares.


It's a stinker
like all the others.

I'm not listening,
Brain.

I'm doing
something stupid
over here.

Troz--or, unh,
something like it.

Yes, I see.
Well, better get
some sleep so we can--

[Yawns]
Prepare for
tomorrow night.

What are we doing
tomorrow night, Brain?

Same thing
we've done every night
for the last 15 years, Pinky--

[Yawns]
Try to take over the--

[Snores]

[Sighs and snores]

They asked for
more money.

We loved them,
but not that much.

The health department
is closing
acme labs, Pinky.

Apparently, they found
mouse droppings
everywhere.

[Wavering voice]
Oh, Brain!
What will we do?

Pinky, with my genius
and your...

knowing a genius,
we'll get by.

Brain:
♪ what a big schlep
to tucamcari ♪

Both:
♪ what a big schlep
for sure ♪

♪ what a big schlep
to tucamcari ♪

♪ to a girl
covered with fur ♪

come, Pinky.

[Mechanical arm buzzes]

We must prepare for
tomorrow night.

Why, Brain?
What are we going to do
tomorrow night?

Collect residuals.

[Buzzing]

That's it, Pinky.
We're out of time.

Riverstomp is obviously
not going to make it.

Oh, that's too bad,
Brain.

I was looking forward to
their graceful loudness.
Zort!

And now,
ladies and gentlemen,

before we present
the touching reunion of
[i][i]Pinky and the Brain,

here's rivers--

uh, riverstretch.

Uh, I mean,
heh, heh heh!

I, uh--I, uh, uh, uh--

I was Murray.
Uh, remember that episode

where I fell in love
with Mary? Heh heh heh.

A-and how about the one
where, uh--

where I wore
the wedding gown

and threw sue Ann
on the cake?

[Audience murmuring]

Did you ever catch
[i][i]the love boat
with Cesar Romero?

We'll just
have to have

our touching reunion
now, Pinky.

Hopefully the lack
of competition

has been enough
to get the world
to tune in.

Let us change into
our make up

and costumes.

Oh, we get to
play dress-up!

Can I wear
this bunny costume?

Or do you prefer me
in this taffeta tutu?

Forget the costume.

Just...try and look
old and depressed.

You mean, like you?

And now,
ladies and gentlemen,

the moment you've been
waiting for.

Here they are,
together again--

the one and only

Pinky and the Brain.

[Audience applauding]
Brain?

Pinky,
is that you?

Brain!

Pinky!

[Cheers]

[Celtic music playing
and clogs clanking]

Oof!

Oof!

Unh! Uhh!

Uhh!

[Pow]

Aah!

Pinky--ow!

There's only--
uhh!

A moment to spare! Aah!

Push the button! Ow!

The button?
The--Ow!

Big, red one!

The big, red,
shiny one?

Yes! Ow!
Oh, the pain.

The big, red,
shiny button!

What about it? Zort!

Push it!!

[Thud]

[Brain grunts]

[Cheers and applause]
Ok.

[Beep]

[Buzz]

[Zapping]

[Buzzing]

I've done it,
Pinky.

Now, everyone
in the world

is under
my control...at last.

Well, it couldn't happen
to a nicer mouse

seeking
global domination, Brain.

[Dials]

Give me
the president.

[Indistinct
mumbling]

This is the Brain,

new leader
of the entire globe.

[Indistinct
mumbling]

No, this isn't
a joke.

I order you to--

[Dial tone]

He hung up.

I--I don't
understand it, Pinky.

I had everything
worked out.

What could have
gone wrong?

Shh, quiet,
Brain.

This documentary
on shoelaces
is amazing.

Did you know that
the little plastic
thingies

on the end of your
shoelaces are called
aglets? Heh!

All this time,
I thought
they were called

little plastic
thingies on the end
of your shoelaces.

Heh heh,
aglets.

You don't say.
Heh heh.

Imagine that--
aglets.

Aglets...

aglets!!

Well, you can
call them "thingies"

if you really want to.

Nobody watched
our reunion special,
Pinky.

We came in last
in the ratings.

Perhaps if
we'd been reunited
with shoelaces.

Ordinarily, I'd hit you
with a pencil

for making
such an inane remark.

But since we're
discussing television,

I'll bow
to your stupidity.

Well, thank you,
Brain. Narf!

Come, Pinky. We must
return to the lab

to prepare for
tomorrow night.

Why, Brain?
What are we going to do
tomorrow night?

The same thing we do
every night, Pinky.

Try to take over
the world!

You mean that's what
we really do?

Narf! Ha ha ha!

It's just like
on Tv!

No, Pinky.
Nothing is
just like on Tv.

[Piano playing]

Schmack! Schmack!
[Bell rings]

Well, practically
nothing.

♪ They're dinky ♪

♪ they're Pinky
and the Brain ♪

♪ Brain, Brain,
Brain, Brain ♪

I'm the one called Larry.