01x33 - Back to the Klondike

[bunniefuu]

Life is like a hurricane

Here in Duckburg

Racecars, lasers, aeroplanes

It's a duck blur

Might solve a mystery

Or rewrite history

DuckTales
Ooh-ooh

Every day they're out there making

DuckTales
Ooh-ooh

Tales of derring-do
bad and good luck tales

D-D-D-Danger!
Watch behind you

There's a stranger out to find you

What to do?
Just grab on to some DuckTales

Ooh-ooh

Every day they're out there making

DuckTales
Ooh-ooh

Tales of derring-do
bad and good luck tales

Ooh-ooh

Not ponytails or cottontails, no

DuckTales
Ooh-ooh

Aah, there's nothing
like a quiet evening at home.

Love is a many-feathered thing

And it's as sweet as the song I sing

What's going on here?

It's almost Valentine's Day, Uncle Scrooge.

- So we're making valentines.
- Or something like that.

Bah!

If you ask me, this Valentine's Day
business is a waste of time

and postage stamps.

Say, Huey, have you got any more glue?

No, but I think I know
where we can find some.

Ah, come on. There's nothing
in that dusty old closet but mothballs.

Uh, hello, kids.

I was checking to see if any change fell
out of my pockets. Ha-ha-ha-ha. Hmm...

Ah, Uncle Scrooge, I thought you said
valentines were a waste of stamps.

They are.

This old valentine was hand-delivered
to me on a mountaintop

back when my wallet was as skinny
as my legs...

back when I was a prospector

in the days
of the Great Klondike Gold Rush.

I don't know which was wilder
in those days - the wolves...

...or me.

And it was there that I met Glittering
Goldie, the greediest gal in the Klondike.

I'm just a poor girl

Bashful and shy

Honest and truthful

I can't tell a lie

My needs are quite simple

They're modest and small

Just listen while I tell you all

Yeah

Don't care for diamonds, rubies or pearls

Don't care for fur coats
like some other girls

Just give me the one thing
that's easy to spend

Gold nuggets are my own friend

Yeah! Gold nuggets are my truest friend

Mm, I love that sound.

Now, there's a gal with good sense.

Give me a mint soda, heavy on the mint
and heavy on the soda.

Well, well, well.

If it isn't Scrounge McDuck.

Do I get my soda or not, Dangerous Dan?

How are you gonna pay for it -
with gold dust or trail dust?

Now, I want drinks for everyone
in the house...

...who didn't laugh at me.

I'd never laugh at a duck
with a gold nugget like this.

Care to join me and the boys for a friendly
little card game, feather face?

Your nugget can join us, too.

That's enough for me.

That cleans me out. Doggone it!

Shee-oot!

Don't mind if I do.

Well, Goldie, the only way you can win
is with the ace of hearts.

Ooh!

What do you know? This is my lucky day.

Too bad it isn't yours.

Well, knock me over with a twig.

Out of a whole deck of cards,
what are the chances of Goldie getting...

an ace of hearts?

An ace of hearts? An ace of hearts?

Come back here, you little cheater!

Ooh! You wanna dance?

I sure cooled him off, didn't I?

Ha-ha!

Whoa!

Whoa!

Huh?

- I'll trouble you for my gold nugget, ma'am.
- I haven't got it, sourdough.

Then I'll be forced
to call the mounted police.

Wait. Don't call the police.
I'll, uh, I'll dig you another gold nugget.

Ha! With all due respect, ma'am,

you wouldn't know how to earn
an honest living if you tried.

Oh, yeah?

Just watch me. Last one to your claim
is a worthless nugget.

Where is your claim, anyway?

White Agony Creek.

Gold nuggets are my truest friend

Goldie turned out
to be the hardest worker I ever knew.

Next to myself.

We worked my claim together
through all kinds of weather.

I grew very fond of that gal.

When spring came,
we had a big pile of gold...

and even bigger plans for the future.

I'll meet you at the train station
at midnight, partner.

I'll be there, partner.

Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-ee!

Duckburg, here we come!

Oh, Goldie, Goldie

Give me your answer due

I love nuggets

Almost as much as you

Curse me kilts! We've been robbed!

Have you seen Goldie?
I've got to tell her - we've been robbed!

Why, Goldie skipped town.
Said she came into a stash of gold.

Wants to start a h*nky-tonk of her own.

And so I moved far, far away
to Red Agony Creek,

where I became a hermit
and mined my fortune alone.

'Course, I never was as happy at Red
Agony Creek as I was at White Agony.

Aw, you miss her,
don't you, Uncle Scrooge?

Sometimes, Webby.

Do you still think there's gold
at White Agony, Uncle Scrooge?

Could be, Dewey.
I only took a wee bit out of that claim.

Wait a minute. It's still my claim.

Boys, back your bags.
We're going to the Klondike!

Yippee!

I'll show you the town,
and we'll go to my claim.

And who knows?
We might even find Goldie!

Uh, gold.

Ah, lads, I can't wait to show you
Dangerous Dan's h*nky-tonk.

It's the wildest, rootin'
tootin'-est on Earth!

Uh...

Where's all the rootin' and tootin',
Uncle Scrooge?

Obviously, someplace else, kids.

Scrooge is back! And I smell money.

No, I think it's my aftershave.

Ah, here we are, White Agony Creek,
my old home, sweet home.

Well, knock me out with a raindrop.
Someone's living in my cabin, rent-free!

Egad!

Must be cutthroat claim-jumpers!

Lay low, lads. I'll wait till nightfall
to sneak up and disarm the rogues.

I know this place like the back of my head.

Now, don't get your fur up, you great brute.

This land you've been sleeping on
belongs to me.

Let me show you around the place.

Ohh!

Climb a tree, Uncle Scrooge!

He's way too big to climb up after you!

Climb higher, Uncle Scrooge!

How in the world
did my top hat get way up here?

Uh-oh.

Ye-ow!

Unfortunately, according to
the Junior Woodchucks Guidebook,

chapter 22, paragraph nine...

Bears can swim.

Whoa!

Hey!

That bear and that claim-jumper are friends
with each other.

Well, they sure aren't friends
with Uncle Scrooge.

Ohh...

Hmm.

Scrooge McDuck didn't come back
to the Klondike for his health.

That's for sure.

There must still be gold on this old claim!

According to the Junior Woodchucks
Guidebook, bears are attracted to honey.

As soon you see him coming,
stop running, Uncle Scrooge.

Don't worry, lads.
Anything else I should know?

Yeah!

That bear's not wasting any time.

I sure hope this works.

Ah, don't worry, Louie.

The Junior Woodchucks
bear-catching plan is foolproof.

Foolproof, yes.

Bear-proof, no!

There's only one way to stop that bear.
Come on!

Quackerooni! You're a lady claim-jumper!

And darn proud of it.
What do you yahoos want?

Hey, lady, you gotta call off your bear
before he eats Uncle Scrooge.

Scrooge? As in Scrooge McDuck?

Uh-huh.

So, the no-good varmint is back.

Oh, I can't let him see me like this.

Holy smoke!
Why, you must be Glittering Goldie.

That's right.
And I can still glitter with the best of 'em.

Are you going to help Uncle Scrooge?

Nope. I'm gonna try
to get another sh*t at him.

Ah-whoo!

Start running, Scrooge McDuck.
I'll give you a sporting chance.

Why, Glittering Goldie.
You're the claim-jumper?

Had no place else to go
when they closed up the town.

The gold in these parts ran out
right after you left.

I left to forget, but a day hasn't gone by
I haven't thought of you.

Oh, really?

You could always charm the quills
off of a porcupine.

Oh, yuck!
He's holding hands with her.

Well, it's better than holding hands
with that bear.

If you say so.

Remember how we planned
to leave the Klondike together?

But you left with our gold
instead of leaving with me.

I did not. You left without me.

Only because you left without me.

I didn't steal your gold, you varmint!

Come out of there, you rat!

Hold your fire, Goldie, girl!

You just wounded
about a million dollars in gold!

Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.

She chased him over this hill.

There's only one thing I hate worse
than holding hands with a girl -

dancing with one.

We'll mine it together,
just like the last time.

Aye.

And your share should be just enough

to pay me back for what you took
from me the last time.

- I didn't take that gold.
- Oh, come now, Goldie.

I'm not the young fool I used to be.

Nah. Now you're just an old fool.

Well, I believe both of them.

Come one, Blackjack.
Let's go stay in town a while.

Are you sure she took your gold,
Uncle Scrooge?

Come on, lads.
Nothing like hard work to clear the head.

We'll let them do all the work, but we'll
be the ones spending Scrooge's gold.

Heard you were back in town, Goldie.

Dangerous Dan!

- Got any plans for tonight?
- Yep.

And as usual, they ain't gonna be with you!

Ah, come on, Goldie. We'll take a little
ride, sh**t a little target-practice,

rob a little train.

Scrooge is on that train.

Ohh!

Does that bother you?

sh**t. He's a bigger knothead
than you are.

And I want nothing to do with him
or his gold.

Ah, she's not coming.

- Still in love with Scrooge, huh?
- Nah.

She hates him even worse
than she hates me.

Ah! You lucky guy.

- Hah!
- Hah!

Well, I guess I'll never see Goldie again.

It's safer that way, Uncle Scrooge.

Ahh.

But she sure was pretty.

Dangerous Dan!

Hey, watch out!

Whoa!

One of them's on the roof, Uncle Scrooge!

If they stop the train, we're done for.

Scrooge!

End of the line, pal.

It's not polite to point.
Let's dance.

Whoa!

I've been waiting a long time for this.

Huh?

I should have caught a different train.

Takes more than you to put me down,
Dangerous Da...

Looks like I got the best of you again,
Scrooge McDuck.

Again? You've never got the best of me,
Dangerous Dan!

Oh, yeah?

Years ago, I stole your last shipment
of Klondike gold.

Then when you came looking for Goldie...

I made you think she did it!

Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

Dangerous Dan, you're so low,
you have to look up to see a snake.

I figure, now that I'm rich, maybe
Glittering Goldie will be my valentine.

Maybe not.

Scrooge, are you all right?

I am now, lassie.
But for all these years, I've been all wrong.

The moon looks like a big gold nugget.

Oh, Scroogie-pooh,
there is a romantic side to you.

Sure you won't come with me?

I'm sorry, Scrooge.
White Agony is my home now.

I understand.
There's something I want you to have.

Ooh.

A valentine.

No, Goldie. Something better.

It's the deed to my claim
and all the gold left in it.

You sure are something, Scrooge McDuck.

Oh, it's the least I can do, Goldie girl.

You didn't steal my gold,
but I'm afraid you've stolen my heart.