02x10 - Money to Burn

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "DuckTales ". Aired: September 18, 1987 - November 28, 1990.*
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While Huey, Dewey, and Louie originated in Donald Duck animated short subjects in the 1930s, their characterization on DuckTales approximated that of Barks' comics.
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02x10 - Money to Burn

Post by bunniefuu »

♪ Life is like a hurricane

♪ Here in Duckburg

♪ Racecars, lasers, airplanes

♪ It's a duck-blur

♪ Might solve a mystery

♪ Or rewrite history

♪ DuckTales
Ooh-woo-ooh


♪ Every day they're out there making

♪ DuckTales
Ooh-woo-ooh


♪ Tales of derring-do,
Bad and good luck tales


♪ D-d-d-danger

♪ Watch behind you

♪ There's a stranger out to find you

♪ What to do?
Just grab onto some


♪ DuckTales
Ooh-woo-ooh


♪ Every day they're out there making

♪ DuckTales
Ooh-woo-ooh


♪ Tales of derring-do,
Bad and good luck tales


♪ Ooh-woo-ooh
Not pony tails or cotton tails, no


♪ DuckTales
Ooh-woo-ooh I


- [narrator] Last time on DuckTales:
- [rumbling]

Park it over there, Gizmo, dear.

Ma Beagle used GizmoDuck
to steal Scrooge's money bin.


With Scrooge's money,
Ma Beagle bought his house.


I have a motivated buyer.
Do you mind if I show her around?

Ma Beagle!

And he went to the poor house.

My money bin.
[sobs] I want me bin back!

Huey, Dewey and Louie went undercover
to find Scrooge's money and GizmoDuck.


A remote control!

So that's what happened to GizmoDuck!

[narrator] Ma Beagle tried to get away
but drove the money bin into the sea.


- [crowd murmuring]
- [seagulls cawing]

Hey! Move back!

Out of my way, you idiot!

Get that riff-raft out of the water!

Mercy McMaritime!

Every Tom, duck and Mary
is looking for me money bin.

Fear not, fair employer.
We'll find that money bin.

We'll search every nook and eddy.

We'll leave no seashell unturned.

We'll...

Will you park it inside
so we can get going?

Nice of you to lend us your boat.

We're going after the catch of the day.

[sonar beeping]

[Launchpad] Relax, Mr. McD.

I'll find your money in a jiffy.

Leave it to me, good helmsman.

I'm hooked up to the McDuck Enterprises
com-quack space satellite.

[GizmoDuck] It can find
large masses of metal for mining.

- [clicking]
- [beeps]

[radar beeping]

What's that?

Either it found the money bin,
or I have battery acid indigestion.

Head north, Launchpad.

Jolly roger that, Mr. McD.

[sonar beeping]

[Scrooge] Blast that satellite!

It's supposed to find precious metal,
not rusty metal.

[beeping]

Wait, there's something else out there.

Go east, Launchpad.

[male] Our scanner is picking up
a signal, number 32751.


[male 2] Yes, number 43618.

A massive meta! quantity detected.

[male] Then let's descend, 32751.

[male 2] Ten-four, 43618.

Bless me bonnie bin! There it is!

I'm rich again! Yippee!

Park her here, Launchpad.

[crashing]

I said park it, not crash it.

Hey, I didn't do a thing.

We snared something, Ma.

Something big!

Well, haul it up.

Ma Beagle!
Put down this submarine or else!

Hey, what's happening?

Is it the cops?

[all gasping]

[gasps] Great Scot!

[beeping]

The ocean's parting!

Look, Ma. The bin!

There it is!

And there it goes.

No! No! Not me bin! Anything but that!

[splashing]

You haven't seen the last of me,
you purse-snatchers from space.

What's this?

The USS Jumpstart.

The first rocket with a clutch.

Hard to fly but easy on the pocketbook.

[chuckles] Gets 35 light-years
to the gallon.

Is this the best you could find?

It's the only thing I could find.

All aboard!

[Launchpad] Let's see.
Key in the ignition. Pump the throttle.

Wipers work OK.

Launchpad, are you sure
you can fly this rocket?

Trust me. I know what I'm doing.

[Scrooge] Clutch! Clutch!

[GizmoDuck] Throttle! Throttle!

Sheesh, back-seat astronauts.

By the way, Launchpad,
where are we going?

I'm only the pilot.
Do you expect me to know everything?

- [clanging]
- What's that noise?

Money?

I recognize those coins!

My money bin must have sprung a leak.

Luck of the ducks.
Now we'll know where to go.

Follow that cash, Launchpad.

Me bin must be on that planet.

Take her down, Launchpad.

Your captain has turned on
the "fasten seat belt" sign.

Whoops! Looks like I should have
turned on the "no smoking" sign too.

I'm going to march in there
and demand they give back my money.

Attention! This is
the Master Electronic L-L-Leader.


There are non-robots
reported in the vicinity.


These inferior beings
must be d-d-d-destroyed.


- [thunderclap]
- That is all. Have a nice d-d-day.


GizmoDuck, you look like a robot.

You're going to march in there and
demand they give back my money bin.

You can count on me, sir.

I'll get a little user-friendly
with the natives

and get the scoop on your loot.

[whistles]

Pardon me, mechanical madame.

I, uh, seem to have
misplaced a large vault.

It holds three cubic acres of money.

Is money metal?

Well, some of it, yes.

- We melt it down.
- [gulps]

Good news, Mr. McDuck.

I found some disguises
and a lead to your money bin.

Well, what are we waiting for?

Me. I can't get
into this cold, hard underwear.

[gasps]

[robot] Prepare to blast it open.

Me bin!

What do you think
you're doing with my money?

Melting it down to produce more robots.

Over my dead battery!

You're no match for GizmoDuck!

No. But they are.

Go ahead, GizmoDuck.
Show them who's boss.

I have faith in you.

Ave-yup' Sm!

Mr. McD, isn't there something I can do?

Well, uh, get back to the Jumpstart
and get it warmed up.

One more step,
and I'll be forced to use force!

[screeches]

[crashing]

[Scrooge] Use your secret w*apon!
Push all your buttons!

Oh, no. Not that. Anything but that!

I cannot look.

[thunderclap]

These are non-robotic units.

I'm no unit.

I'm Scrooge McDuck.

And who do you think you are,
melting down my money?

I am the Master Electronic Leader

You may call me MEL.

I'll call you more than that
if you don't give my money back,

you stuttering upstart!

Your money is most... most valued.

It will be made useful. Into robots.

Robots? What a waste!

[stutters] Wrong!
Non-robotic units are a waste.

They are inferior.

GizmoDuck, show him who's inferior.

Let's you and me step outside, buster.

You don't talk like a robot.

You bet your ball bearings I'm no robot.

There's a person inside here,
and I'm proud of it.

Person?

This I must see.

No! No! Hey!

Stop! Have you no shame?

Fenton Crackshell?

Hiya, boss.

You're right. He is inferior.

Hey, if I wanted this talk I could have
stayed at home with Mommy dearest.

You non-robotic units must be processed

into a u-u-usable substance.

What do you mean,
"u-u-u-usable substance"?

Axle grease.

Guards! Take them
to the processing station!

It's bad enough I never had
a date with Gandra Dee

nor the chance to catch Mama
during a commercial to say goodbye.

But I can't stand the thought

of becoming a lube job
knowing you don't believe in me.

It doesn't matter.

Nothing matters.

Life's not worth living
without me money.

And I'll never see my money
again without GizmoDuck.

But I'm GizmoDuck!

He's just Fenton Crackshell
with aluminum siding.

If you could count on him then,
why can't you count on me now?

Wait a minute.

You can count on me!

I'll prove it!

Hey! Come back here!

Oh, well.

There might still be hope.

There's still Launchpad.

[Launchpad] Yoo-hoo, Mr. McD.

OK, you overgrown jukebox.

I demand a duel
to prove I'm not inferior.

Request denied.

Listen, transistor breath.

You're not so smart.

S-Smart?

I'm the fastest, most sophisticated
c-c-computer in the universe.

Then answer me this:

What color is an orange?

Can a root beer float? How much
wood would a woodchuck chuck

- if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
- I accept your challenge.

Fetch me some jars filled
with ball bearings, my good metal man.

We count until one of us drops.

- Got it?
- Got it.

Ready, set, count!

- Three thousand...
- ...four hundred and seventy-five.

- Two thousand...
- ...nine hundred sixty-three.

- Nine hundred...
- ...and fifty-two.

You're falling b-b-b-behind.

- Three thousand...
- ...one hundred and twenty-eight.

Forty-three!

Three hundred and nine.

[electricity crackling]

Just one more!

[blabbering]

Three thousand... nineteen... one.

Sorry, MEL.

These are nuts, not bolts.

Trick question. You lose!

[whooping]

I did it! Now to rescue
Mr. McDuck and Launchpad.

Stop that inferior unit!

Blabbering blatherskite!

[beeping]

Taste these torso torpedoes!

Fenton! You're GizmoDuck!

You saved us! You're a hero!

I am? I mean, yes, I guess I am.

I owe you an apology
for the way I treated you.

You've proven that it takes more
than a suit of armor to make a hero.

[chuckles] Gee, thanks,
Mr. McDuck.

But you had a right to be upset,
with your money being melted and all.

Me money? We've got to save it!

I'll take care of that.

You get back to the rocket
and head for home.

I won't leave without my...

[lasers f*ring]

Sorry, sir. This is a job for GizmoDuck!

- Take off here, Launchpad.
- We're history!

Let me go! No, no!
Get your hands off! Don't!

Let me go! [grunting]

Let me...! Let go of me!

Jeez, Mr. McD. Lighten up.

What's more important? A couple
of quadrillion dollars or your life?

Is this a multiple-choice question?

[engine sputters]

[Scrooge] Hurry, Launchpad!

Where are you going?

Nowhere. Just pop the clutch
when I tell you.

[grunting]

The clutch! Pop the clutch!

I figured a push-start might help.

You never cease
to amaze me, Launchpad.

I wonder if I'll ever see
my money again.

Don't worry Mr. McD. There's still hope.

There's still GizmoDuck.

- [crackling]
' [expl*si*n]

[Scrooge] The whole planet blew a fuse!

My money! GizmoDuck!

My money!

[beeping]

Oh, no. What a lousy time for company.

[Scrooge] The robots are after us again!
Floor it, Launchpad!

[Launchpad] Whoops!

[engine sputters]

[knock on door]

[chuckles] We have all the Fuller
brushes and Girl Scout cookies we need!

Back as I promised, Mr. McDuck.

GizmoDuck!

You're OK!

Like you said,
I pushed all of my buttons.

What about my money bin?

What happened to it?

[kisses]

Oh, what a sight for poor eyes!

[sighs] My worries are over.

Ah, there it is.

Earth, sweet Earth.

All I have to do is push this button.

Oops, I mean this button.

And we land safe and sound.

Wait.

What did that button do?

That released the money bin.

Oh. [gasps]

What? No, no, no!

No!

Out of my way!

Clear a path! I'm going after me bin!

Sir, you'll burn up
entering Earth's atmosphere.

I'm burning up now!

What difference will it make?

[Launchpad] Sheesh! What he won't do
to save a couple of quadrillion dollars.

Yee-haa!

Hi-ho, silver dollar!

Hey, what's that in the sky?

[all shouting]

Oh, no! Something's crashing.

Is it Launchpad?

No, it looks like the money bin!

You know, maybe we never
should have moved that freeway.

Yeah.

Then the money bin would still be
around, and we'd have something to do.

Oh, quit your pouting.

You g*ons still owe me
a birthday present,

and I want what I deserve!

[boom]

[rumbling]

[whistling drop]

[Big Time] Happy birthday, Ma?

[Scrooge yelling]

It came from in there.

[muffled yelling]

I'll rescue you, Mr. McDuck.

[groaning]

Huh? What? Where?

That was one crash landing
I'd like to have on my résumé, Mr. McD.

[stammers] Crash?

I... I made it?

You sure did! And your money bin
is right back where it used to be.

Yeah. But are you
all right, Uncle Scrooge?

[groans] Well, let me see.

[all] He's fine.

Well, I guess I'll run along.

I'll see you bright and early
tomorrow morning, GizmoDuck.

Tomorrow morning, sir?

Aye. You have a bin to guard.

And tell your friend Fenton
I've got lots of work for him too.

Really, sir? You mean it?

I mean, you mean it?

Yee-haa! Yippee! Yahoo!

I'm two somebodies!

We're home, Mama.

Quiet, Fenton.

I'm right in the middle
of As the Feathers Fly.

But, Mama, I've been gone for days!

Can't this wait until the commercial?

That's it, Mama!

There's going to be
a few changes around here.

First, I expect you to treat me
like Mr. McDuck does.

Like I'm somebody!

I also expect you to have
this trailer cleaned up

and your hair out of those curlers
before I get back. Got it?

[car horns honking]

Hello, Gandra.

Yes, Fenton?

[stammers]

Did you know I work
for Scrooge McDuck, Gandra?

I'm climbing up in the world,
and we're not talking mountains here.

What are we talking about?

Actually, a date. But you don't have to.

No, sure.

I wanted to date you
when you were a bean counter.

Really? Then how come
we never went out?

You never asked me.

Hey, you're blocking the screen.

And pass me another box
of Quackerjacks.
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