03x14 - The Bride Wore Stripes

[bunniefuu]

"Life is like
a hurricane"

"Here in duckburg"

"Race cars, lasers,
aeroplanes"

"It's a duck blur"

"Might solve a mystery"

"Or rewrite history"

"Duck tales"

"Ooh ooh ooh"

"Every day they're out there
making duck tales"

"Ooh ooh ooh"

"Tales of derring-do"

"Bad and good
luck tales"

"D-d-d-danger"

"Watch behind you"

"There's a stranger
out to find you"

"What to do? Just grab
onto some duck tales"

"Ooh ooh ooh"

"Every day they're out there
making duck tales"

"Ooh ooh ooh"

"Tales of derring-do"

"Bad and good
luck tales"

"Ooh ooh ooh"

"Not ponytails"

"Or cottontails"

"No, duck tales"

"Ooh ooh ooh"

Burger, shut the
refrigerator.

Big time, stop leaving gunpowder
where I can step in it.

Mom's on the rampage.

Yeah, a-a-and
she's mad, too.

What are you doing?

Licking up
the extra batter.

The cake's
not poured yet.

How will I spring
bouncer from the slammer

Without enough batter
to cover the file?

You've sure been
on edge lately.

What do you expect,

Living in this rat shack
all these years?

I read about
the wonderful lives

Of other mothers

In better homes
and jail cells.

Why not me?

If my boys
were brighter,

Their mother's life
wouldn't be so dim.

We'll do better.

We promise.

Start by getting
the frosting mix.

It's in the pantry
next to the nitro.

Sorry.
- Sorry. - Sorry.

Stop at the bakery,
duckworth.

Yes, master huey.

I brake for cake.

Come on, uncle scrooge.

You got to buy
mrs. Beakley a cake.

If it's her birthday,

Let her buy it.

Uncle scrooge, how
can you be so cheap?

Lots of practice.

He'd like to buy a
chocolate birthday cake.

A very low-cost cake,

Something
a day or two old.

I have this three-tiered
heavenly chocolate

With cherry
jubilee frosting,

All for a mere $15.

Ya-ho!

Chocolate and cherry,
her favorite.

Yippee!

How about something
a little older...

I mean cheaper.

Well, here's last week's
generic special,

Marked down
to two bucks.

How much
without frosting?

Uncle scrooge,
you can't.

That cake's
in awful shape.

So's mrs. Beakley.

I'll take it.

[Car backfires]

Keep the motor running
while I rob this joint.

Piece of cake. Literally.

Here you go.

I hope your wife
enjoys it.

I'm not married.

Really? Why not?

My wife would own
half my fortune.

If she divorced me,
she'd take half of it.

My fortune's mine alone.

Want to bet?

There's been
a change of plans.

Your mother's
about to enter

The state
of matrimony.

Hmm. Is that
the state near minnisoty?

This birthday business
is getting costly.

But mrs. Beakley
loves flowers.

Ok, big time.

Ready with that
camera you stole?

Ready, ma.

May I help you?

He'd like
some flowers.

Do you have wilted
flowers discounted?

Uncle,
cut it out!

Here, uncle scrooge.

These flowers
look real nice.

How much
for these?

$20, Sir.

For these ragweeds?

What about these?

$15.

Be serious. Are these
marigolds made of real gold?

How much are seeds?



Fine.

Mrs. Beakley
would rather grow

Her own flowers
anyway.

Wait. Here's
a card shop.

She doesn't need
a birthday card.

Yes, she does! Stop!

Come on,
uncle scrooge.

This is the last
stop, we promise.

This one'll do.

It's marked down.


"Happy halloween to my
weight-lifting brother-in-law?"

[Cuckoo]

We'll cross that out.

What's wrong
with the lights?

Let's get out of here.

Spending all this money
is getting to me.

I can't wait to see

The surprise
on her face.

Oh, dear, oh, dear,
oh, dear!

See? We told you
not to be so cheap.

It's not
what you bought.

I'll explain
the card.

It's not that either.

It's... It's her!

Hello, hubby.

Got a kiss
for your bride?

My what?

The old ball and chain.

What? Get out before
I call the police.

If you
throw me out,

I'm divorcing you and taking
half of everything you own.

That's ridiculous.
We're not married.

Never have been.
Never will be.

Oh, yeah? That's for
the judge to decide.

See you in court.

Ooh! What's
she up to now?

Oh!

Happy birthday,
mrs. Beakley.

All rise. The honorable justice b.
Fair presiding.

We can get this
over with quickly.

This woman
is not my wife.

It's that bad
attitude of yours

That's made this such
a rotten marriage.

What marriage?

You have proof,
mrs. Mcduck?

Don't say that.

Certainly. Here we are
on our wedding day.

And the two of us
so in love

Honeymooning
at niagara falls.

Impossible. I would have
pushed you over the falls.

A family portrait.

From a post office wall!

And here's our
marriage license.

As phony
as her smile.

Is he a louse
for a spouse?

I've tried to be a good
housewife, but it's hopeless.

I want a divorce.

I'm asking
half our fortune.

Never! I'd stay married
before giving that up!

I thought you said
you never were married.

He's trying to
put one over on you.

No! You don't
understand!

I understand perfectly.

Considering the evidence,

I hereby declare you
duck and wife.

Court adjourned.

Right. Married.
As my lawyer,

I expect you
to do something.

No, we don't want
wedding gifts.

Mr. Mcduck,
come quick!

We've been invaded!

A little to the left.
No, higher.

There.

What do you think
you're doing?

Hanging up
your present.

What present?

For our anniversary.

Don't worry. It only
set you back $300,000.

Out! Out! Out!

Ok, I'm leaving
anyway...

With the credit cards
I took out

For mrs. Scrooge mcduck.

I'll shop till you drop.

Ha ha ha ha!

Uncle scrooge!

Uncle scrooge!

The beagle boys are
busting our bunks!

Get out of here!

Hey, that's my bunk!

Can I have
the top bunk, daddy?

No. And don't
call me daddy.

Ok, pop. How about the
keys to the limo?

Absolutely not.

I got a date.

I'd rather not
hot-wire it.

[Crash]

What was that?

Oh. Just a window.

We's playing baseball.

In the house?
With a ming vase?

That's $10,000.

Uh-oh. It's


Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!

Ah, me.

Maybe when I wake up

This nightmare
will be over.

Good night,
scroogie.

Good night, dear.

Aah!

You're in my bed!

Where should I be,
the garage?

Aye. At someone
else's house.

Sorry, scroogie, but
your poopsie is pooped.

[Knock on door]

Yes, sir?

Duckworth, could the
world's richest duck

Sleep in the servant's
quarters with you?

Open up! It's my turn
to take a bath!

But, dada, we's
playing battleship.

[Humming popeye theme]

"Bum bum bum"

"Rat-a-tat-tat"

Pow, pow, pow.

Whoa!
- Aah!

Oh, ho, ho, ho.

Oh!
- Oh!

Aah!

Look what the tide
rolled in.

You'd better stop
going shopping.

No, I'm just taking
our boy to lunch

At a french
restaurant...

In paris.

Paris!

I'd skip dessert if you'd
sign the divorce papers.

Forget it.

Today my lawyer
will decide

How to pulverize
this rocky marriage.

The court says

Ma beagle
portrayed herself

As a hardworking
housewife.

The only thing she's ever
dusted were her fingerprints.

Prove that she lied,

And I'll persuade the judge
to reconsider the case.

I see.

maybe it's time I asked my
housewife to do some housework.

Looks like it's time
for good behavior.

The best things in life
aren't easy.

[Rooster crows]

Five more minutes,
warden!

Uh... Wh-what?

Time to make
the boys' breakfast,

Pack their lunches,
and clean the mansion.

Huh? Well, have
chubby chins do it.

Mrs. Beakley? Oh, can't.

It's her day off.

Are you
off your rocker?

It's 4:00 a.m.!

You slept in.

I'll expect you up
earlier from now on.

Bombs away!

[Splash]

Oh!

Morning, mommy.

Look. You're all wet.

Aw, don't worry.
We'll dry you off.

[Cough cough cough]

Turn that vacuum
off, you brats!

Very impressive, lads.

Mrs. Mcduck.

The mister would
like you to do

A little ironing
this morning.

Oh, all right.

Where is it?

There.

Whoa!

There's not enough spray
starch in the state.

Finish by dinnertime.

Did I mention I'm bringing
home dinner guests?

You are? How many?



Ooh.

Scrooge thinks
he's clever,

But I can steamroll
that old coot anytime.

"I got the dusty window
waxy-build-up blues"

Hi, ma.
How about a snack?

And spoil your
appetite for dinner?

Ma!

Quiet, goon. Can't you see
I'm cleaning the chandelier?

Boy. Ma's really getting
into this housewife stuff.

Yeah, she's a regular
betty crooker.

I wonder how
the battle-a* did.

Bet everything
is in worse shape than...

Oh!

Don't tell me
she actually cleaned.

In her fashion.

And the ironing?

Done, though you may be
steamed when you see it.

What about dinner?

Lovebucks,
you're home.

Where are the guests?

I cooked enough slop

To stuff
- the jolly green giant.

I cannot believe
you did this.

It was tough,
but I caught on.

I feel like one of those
women in good spousekeeping.

Housework
has fulfilled me

Like no bank heist
ever could.

Good evening,
uncle scrooge.

Good evening, dada.
Good evening, dada.

Oh, just look at us.

We're one big happy
beagle bunch.

Don't I get
a kiss goodbye?

I'd rather kiss
shamu the whale.

Hurry home.

Tonight's the father crows
best family reunion.

It'll be quality
time together.

Gosh. I ain't never seen daddy
scroogie so m-m-miserable.

Forget about scroogie.
i'm miserable!

Ma's gone overboard
with this motherhood stuff.

Yeah. She's even
making me watch

In-between meal treats.

I hate it!

I just hate it!

Burger, why don't you recite
poetry to our happy family?

Ahem.

Roses is red,

Violets is blue,

Misery loves company,

That's why we're
here with you.

Oh, wasn't that
beautiful?

We should have
a family picture

To remember this
treasured moment.

I'll get the camera.

Be back in a flash.

Get it? Flash?

Wait.

Stop. Where
are you going?

One more precious
family moment

And I may upchuck.
I quit.

Me, too.

Us, three.

Wait. You boys cannot quit.
You're family.

Want to bet?

When mrs. Beakley goes,
we go. Right?

Right.

What are we going to
do, daddy scroogie?

Yeah. Nothing
personal,

But we hates
living here.

The feeling's mutual,

But your mother's here
till death do us part...

Which gives me
a perfectly demented idea.

Oh, those are
our favorite kind.

Whose turn is it
to do dishes?

Eh... Burger's.

I broke them
last night.

You do it.

Daddy said
I don't have to!

Boys, boys!

Where'd your father
run to?

To swim
in his money.

You're right. Ain't he cute
in that little outfit?

Ooh, shouldn't he have
waited an hour

After eating
your dumplings?

Help! Help!

Uh, uh, uh,
he's in trouble.

[Gurgling]

Tread money,
honeybucks!

Somebody call
a paramedic!

Call a single medic,
if you have to.

They've combed the
entire surface, ma'am.

It looks hopeless.

Oh, no. Don't tell me.
You mean...

He's gone to that big ben
in the sky.

No! You mean...

All this loot
is mine?

Oh, how can you think
of money right now?

I'm not just
thinking money.

I'm thinking
of the mansion.

The limo!

The gold mines!

We may have lost
our new father,

But our old
mother's back.

You'll have to come down to
headquarters, mrs. Mcduck.

Why?

Questioning. This
smells of foul play.

What's that mean?

It's the oldest crime
in the book...

Wife bumps off husband
to collect fortune.

How could you?

Let's go.

Wait!

You can't blame me.

I'm not his wife.

I never married
the old coot.

The words I've
waited to hear.

Oh!
- Oh! - Oh!

He's alive!

Did you get it?

Every last syllable.

Oh!

How dare you be alive?

How dare you pretend
to be my wife?

Take her away,
officer.

But, scroogie, what about all
the tender moments we shared?

Didn't they mean
anything?

Aye. I must admit
they did.

They made me realize

I'm a confirmed
bachelor to the end!

Don't worry, ma.

We'll get you out.

What's your favorite cake?