04x06 - Get Me Out of Here

[bunniefuu]

You're late
and we're already behind.

All right.
All right.

I'll be right
with you

As soon as I call
my mechanic.

Uh-uh-uh.
No time for personal calls.

Mr. Walters is in one,
mrs. Chang's in two,

And ricky brickman's
coming by for you

To take a look
at his wrist. Now go.

I haven't even had
my coffee yet.

Patients first, coffee later.

Yesterday I was
the boss here, right?

If you say so.

Oh, margaret,
what the hell

Is the water bottle
still doing here?

Like I told you
last night,

It's going to stay there
till you pick it up

And put it on the cooler.

You know, if you women
truly wanted equality...

Just do it.

( grunts )

Ah, another late arrival.

Linda, I've already given
dr. Becker his instructions,

And I have a few things
for you, too.

John:
Ow! Damn, that hurts!

Can I do something different
than you made him do?

Hey, I just wrenched my shoulder

Putting that stupid water bottle
up on the cooler.

I hope you're happy.

Did you do it?

Yes, I did it.

Then I'm happy.

All right,
get started on these.

And when ricky brickman
comes in,

Send him back to the doctor.

Oh, could you do that?
I don't want to see him.

But I thought
you two were dating.

I don't think that's
going to work out.

The whole time I was with him,

I couldn't shake this feeling
that I wasn't attracted to him.

Maybe that's because
I wasn't attracted to him.

That would explain it.

If only ricky looked
like his brother.

Donny is just so much hotter.

Both:
Hey, linda.

Hey, ricky. Hi, donny.

I'm definitely
missing something.

Had a great time last night.

Yeah, great time,
he told me.

Haven't stopped
talking about it.

He really hasn't.
How about a
movie tonight?

Uh, tonight's not really good.

Mind if I come?

I'd love to.

Great, we'll get dinner first.

I love dinner.

Italian?
Chinese?

Thai?
Mexican?

Falafel?

Both:
Works for me.

Don't ring. Don't ring.
Please, don't ring.

( phone rings )

Hello. Yeah, amanda.

I'm still here
at the newsstand.

Same place I was when you called
ten minutes ago.

Yeah, I'll be here all day,

Like I've been telling you
all morning.

You know where you can reach me.

Unfortunately.

Problems with the wife?

Now, bob, I've told you
we are not married,

And no, we are
not having problems.

She's down in baltimore
visiting her parents,

And, well,
she just misses me.

She's checking up on you.

She's not checking up on me.

She just likes
to know where I am.

Every moment
of every single day.

What's the matter, bob?
You jealous?

Please. The only reason
he got a hot woman

Like amanda is
out of pity.

If bob was blind,
he'd get that kind
of action, too.

Bob, the reason
you don't get women

Isn't because you can't see,
it's because they can.

Why the hate?

And, jake, I think it's sweet
that she's calling.

It's kind of romantic.

Oh, please.
When a woman

Calls a guy ten times
a day, it's romantic,

But when I do it,
I'm a stalker.

Believe me,
connie chung would've
been lucky to have me.

Coffee to go, reg. Oh, geez.

What's wrong with your shoulder?

Oh, I aggravated
an old football injury.

( laughter )

Well, we know he didn't
strain it picking up a check.

For your information,
I'm in a lot of pain.

The last time this happened...

The 1911
harvard/yale game?

The last time this happened,

They thought
I might need surgery.

I got to go in for an mri
this afternoon.

Yeah, the pain's so bad
I can hardly

Put my shirt on.

Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.

God, I can barely raise my arm
to comb my hair.

And yet you can tough it out
to light a cigarette.

Well, I'm not dead.

John becker?

Dr. Becker, that's right.

( sighs ):
Oh, doctor, great.

I cannot tell you
how relieved I am

To have a patient
who knows the drill.

My name is randy.
I'll be helping you today.

Yeah, yeah. Let's just get on
with this, all right?

Mm-hmm.

Wait.
I-is this the adult one?

It's a lot smaller
than I thought.

Well, it's even smaller
when you're in there.

Well, it's only my shoulder.

How long can that take?

You know, the usual,
about 45 minutes.

45? 45 minutes? In a row?

You're not claustrophobic,
are you?

You know, like, are you afraid
to ride in the subway?

Why, is there some kind of

Street g*ng in there
or something?

Are you sure you're okay?

You seem like
the kind of guy

Who could use
a valium.

Oh, no.

I get that all the time.

No, I'm fine, I'm fine.

Okay. Just climb right on up
here, we'll get started.

Hey...

Is that my pager?

I don't hear anything.

Oh, you know why?

It's probably because it's on...
It's on vibrate.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, look at that.

One of my patients is having
a... Having a...

Panic att*ck?

Yeah, panic att*ck.

Uh, look,
I hate to do this to you,

But this guy happens
to be very close to me.

You know, I-I got to go.

I'll, uh...

I'll call you when I...

Hey, how you doing?

Yeah, how you doing?

Still don't get it.

Um, what can I do for you?

He lost that form.

That insurance form.

Can't find it.
Vanished.

I got it. It's gone.

I'll print you another one.

( groans )

Computer keeps
freezing up.

We can get you
a new one.

Give you
a great deal.

Friend lost his business.

Fire sale.
Has to sell everything.

Can I get one today?

Sorry. Fire's not
till Friday.

Hey, donny. Hey, ricky.
I had a great time last night.

Both:
We did, too.
Thanks for the movie.

Thanks for the popcorn.
Thanks for walking me home.

Thanks for inviting us in.
Thanks for changing
into something a little more...

Thanks for stopping by.

Here's your new form.

Both:
Bye, linda.

Bye, you.

Keeping in mind that
I'm a christian but curious,

What happened last night?

Oh, it was the best date
I've ever been on.

I'm at the movies,

I look to one side of me
and there's donny.

Okay, he's a
bit of a ditz,

But he's got that
beautiful smile,

Twinkling eyes,

Incredible bod.

And on the other side of me,
there's ricky.

Okay, I have to
get past his looks,

But he's so much fun.

He's cracking jokes,
making me laugh,

And then all of a sudden,
it dawns on me.

What dawns on you?!

Oh, that between
the two of them,

They're the perfect guy.

So, you're going to date
the both of them?

If they'll have me.

Oh, john,
I'm glad you're here.

Let me ask you something.

Those twins, donny and ricky,

Is one of them better looking
than the other?

Yeah. Donny.

Ow, god!

My shoulder.

Oh, uh, that reminds me.

The hospital called
with the results of your mri.

Apparently, the machine detected

A long, yellow streak
down your back.

For your information, you know,
I had a medical emergency.

I thought I was
going to die.

( laughs )

Well, anyway, I rescheduled
your appointment

For today at 5:00.

Oh, come...
And there is nothing
to be afraid of.

After all, you're a doctor.

You send patients
for these all the time.

Yeah, I send patients for
all kinds of horrible stuff.

But this time,
it's different.

This time, it's me.

You were very brave, honey.
Here you go.

Oh, and if this
little boy is
just as brave,

He'll get
a lollipop, too.

I'm not interested
unless you got

A chocolate one
with a chewy morphine center.

So, are we going to do this,

Or is there going to be
another "emergency"?

Yeah, yeah.
All right, all right.

You need a
few minutes?

Why? To get my affairs
in order?

Let's just do it.

You can always try
closing your eyes

And visualizing an open space,
like a meadow or a lake.

So I'm in a coffin on a lake,
that's great.

Just trying to help.

Uh, wait, uh,
wait, wait, wait!

( panicked breathing )

My nose itches.

All right.

Okay, I'm-I'm fine now.

Wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait!

So, you can hear me
in there, right?

'cause I always tell
my-my patients that,

But now I really,
I really need to know.

We'll be in contact
the whole time.

All right.

Wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait!

Oh. What now?

So, if there's a,

There's a problem,
you can get me right out, right?

Unless there's a power failure.

What do you, what
do you mean?

But that hardly ever happens.

C-can you hear me?

Perfectly clear.

Are you sure?

Absolutely.

Good. Good.

Get me out of here!

( yawns )

Another triple date
last night?

Yeah. We played tennis.

They won.

Linda, this has
got to stop.

It's weird.

What are you
talking about?

This is a simple love story
between a woman and a man

And another man.

I still say it's unnatural.

Love isn't perfect, margaret.

Sometimes one man doesn't
have everything you need.

Louis has a brother, right?

Are you telling me
that he doesn't have

Some qualities that
you wish louis had?

Well, sure.

I mean, he's
a successful lawyer.

He's funny, athletic,

Has an incredible
head of hair,

And lord knows
he loves to dance.

And...

You know what?

This isn't about me.

Okay, that's it, amanda!
I've had it!

I'm sick of you calling me
every ten minutes.

Either you trust me
or you don't.

And if you don't,
for all I care,

You can just stay in baltimore!

All right. Not bad.

But when it's really amanda,
you need to be more direct.

And don't forget the thing about
you're the man, she's the woman,

And she's got to
do what you say.

Oh, I can't say
that to amanda.

Let me explain something
to you about being blind:

I can't see
a punch coming.

Well, whatever you do, jake,
do it soon,

Because she's calling me
to check up on you now.

I'm sorry, reg.

Once-- and I don't know
how she did this--

But call waiting went off
while I was talking to her,

And it was her.

Bob:
Hey, becker,

There's a call for you
in the phone booth--

Unless you're too afraid
to come in here.

( laughs )

How could you chicken
out of an mri?

I did not chicken out.

Margaret told us everything.

Okay, I chickened out.

Bob:
What are you afraid of?

All my life, I've been stuffed
into small places--

Car trunks, closets,
school lockers--

And not in a romantic way.

You have no idea
what it's like being
in one of those things.

It's like they're taking
an elephant's temperature--

With me.

Nice image.

Apparently, I have to
try again this afternoon,

But this time I'm taking
a valium-- a really big one.

And I'm going to need
someone to drive me.

Margaret's busy,
I don't trust linda,

And I'd rather have
jake drive me than bob.

Reg, you're the only one left.

It's the prom
all over again.

Okay, I'll take you.

Oh, thank you.

Actually, you can
return the favor.

I've got dental
surgery next week.

You can't just do something nice
for me, can you?

I have to do something
for you as payback.

Fine. Fine.

I'll have margaret take you.

Becker, you're not
in that apartment.

Well, you are,
but you're not supposed to be.

Oh, god, who lives
in this dump?

This is your place.

Oh.

You sure you're
going to be okay?

You know, I think
for another hour,

I'm going to be as good
as I've ever been.

Except I feel like
I'm wearing a hat.

Becker, come on, let's
sit down and relax.

Okay.

Over this way.

You want me to make you,
um, some tea or some soup?

No, no. I'm fine.

But you know something?
Soup's a very funny word.

Say it: Soup.

Soup. Soup!

( laughs )

Are you going to be
okay here alone?

Oh, absolutely.

And you know
something else?

I want to thank you,
you know, for driving me.

Oh, no problem.

I've never said this
before, but, you know,

You've got really good
tooth-to-gum ratio.

Excuse me?

Y-you know, nice teeth,
perfect amount of gum.

Oh.

Well... Thanks.

( chuckles )

You know, and another thing,
you're a very good friend.

I mean that.

That's very nice--

If not really weird--
to hear you say that.

I'll see you tomorrow.

Hey, I know
what you're thinking.

That the yogurt place
closes in five minutes?

No, no.

You're thinking, why-why didn't
I ever ask you out?

Okay, I'll tell you why.

When I first met you,

I-I thought to myself,

Now, here's somebody who's
probably very interested in me.

Oh, this ought to be good.

Why?

"why"?

Well, I don't mean to brag,

But, you know, tall, handsome,
harvard, doctor.

Football.

Well, you know...

Manager.

It never would've
worked out between us.

F-first of all,
I'm not that great in bed.

Way to sell yourself.

No, no. I've been told.

Well, you know, good enough,
but... Not great.

And secondly--

And I hope you don't mind
my saying this-- whoo--

You're a very attractive woman.

Thank you, becker.

Yeah, you got

A great-great face
on your head

And beautiful legs.

( chuckles )

But you just can't
get it together.

Honey, you're a mess!

Okay, this just
stopped being fun.

My, god, reg,

You should've been out
of that diner long ago!

Or at least
learn how to cook.

Uh, becker...

No, no, no.

I mean, every time
I'm in there,

You have a new idea
of which way your life
should be going,

But n-nothing ever changes.

You know,
I could help you, reg.

I could help you.

I-I could make a difference
in your life.

See, I have such a clear view

Of the world
and-and the way it works,

But you always
argue with me.

You feel the need
to resist everything I say.

Why, reg, why?

You should listen to me.

Learn from me, you know.

Follow my lead.

Hey, I can't stay here
and talk to you.

I got to get back
to the office.

Oh, my god.

So, jake, your phone
hasn't rung all morning.

Did you lay down the law
with amanda?

Yep, I sure did.

I told amanda to back off
and give me some space.

Good for you.

She must've really
gotten the message.

Either that or...

You know what? Never mind.

Or what?

Or your phone call
really upset her

And she's out busy
getting revenge.

I mean, think about it:
She's in her hometown,

Maybe she looks up
an old boyfriend,

They get a couple of drinks.

Next thing you know,
they're getting a hotel room.

You know what, jake, I'm sorry.

Don't listen to me.

She could just as easily
be with someone new.

Reg...

Would you watch
the newsstand
for a minute?

Sure. Where you going, jake?

Baltimore.

Hi, jake.
Bye, jake.

Hey, guys.

I have the best idea for
what we could do tonight.

I thought we'd have
an early dinner, and then...

We have to talk.

We really do.

That sounds serious.

It is serious.

We really like you.
A lot.

And I like you two, too.

But there's a problem.

You're coming between us.

We had our first fight.
It wasn't pretty.

Wasn't pretty.

I just said that!
And I just agreed!

See what you're
doing to us.

Both:
You have to choose.

But why?

Don't you know
what we have here?

Don't make this
harder than it is.

What he said.

No, I can't accept this.

Love is just too hard to find.

I mean, does what we have
mean so little to you?

I saw a future
for us.

I imagined us in a church,
me peeking through my veil

And seeing the two of you
standing there.

And then one day,
we'd have a nice house

In the suburbs,
with a three-car garage

And a porch with a swing
and another swing.

But if all of that
means so little to you,

Then clearly, you're not

Half the men
that I thought you were.

Wow, she dumped
both of us.

Didn't see that coming.

Sure am glad we
didn't sleep with her.

Yeah, me, too.

Hey, becker.

Reg.

Coffee and danish,
please.

So, did you get the
results from your mri?

Yeah. Oh, no, everything's fine.

I don't need, I don't need
surgery; just a sprain.

Oh, that's great.

Hey, thank you
for-for driving me yesterday.

No problem.

Yeah.

Listen,

When I woke up this morning,
I was...

I mean, I didn't have any...

You didn't have what?

Look, what I'm trying to say is,

Did I do anything last night
that, you know,

If I knew about it,

I could never show my face
in here ever again?

Gee, becker, I really don't know
what you're talking about.

I dropped you off,
we talked for
a few minutes.

You went to bed
and then I left.

Oh. Oh, good.

Good. Thank you.

Oh, by the way, becker.

Mm-hmm?

Nice ass.