01x20 - Drive, They Said

[bunniefuu]

[ blues theme playing ]

Bad news, Jimmy.
You have a severe ulcer.

You're gonna have to make some
serious changes in your diet.

But I can still
eat pizza, right?

What, with sausage?
Yeah.

Meatballs, those hot peppers?
Yeah.

No. You've got an ulcer,
Jimmy, a crater.

A huge hole in your stomach.

Hey, Dr. Becker,

I don't always have time
to eat right,

and it's my busy season.

Yeah, right, busy season.

Scalpers have busy seasons?

I'm not a scalper, all right?
I'm an entertainment consultant.

Yeah, well have you
ever entertained

the idea of paying your bill?

I'm a little cash poor
right now.

All my money's
tied up in tickets.

So how are you gonna pay me?

Uh, you like musicals?

Do I look like I like musicals?

All right then,
what do you want?

I want money.

[ laughs ]:
No. No, really, huh?

Come on, doc,
work with me, huh?

Hockey, basketball.
Hey, how about a concert?

I know. The Beach Boys
are comin' to town.

Oh, yeah, that's just
what I want to see.

Five California Raisins
singin' about how great it is

to be out of school.

You know, for God's sake,

when the ramp up
to the stage

is no longer
for the equipment, it's over.

Somebody ought to tell
those guys it was fun, fun, fun

but it's time for daddy
to take the T-Bird away.

Uh, Riverdance?

[ blues theme playing ]

[ blues theme playing ]

It's him, it's him.

What are you talkin' about?

Take a look at this.

"No-nonsense scuba queen

seeks naughty jockey for--"

Not that one,
the one beneath it.

"Our eyes met Tuesday morning
on the D Train.

If you're my angel,

"meet me at Ray's Cafe
on Queens Boulevard,

7:00, Friday night."

That's tonight,

and I'm the angel.

See, I was on the train
and I saw the cutest guy.

Our eyes met
and had a conversation.

His said, "Hi."

And then mine said,
"How you doin'?"

And then his said,

"Those are real nice shoes
you're wearing."

And then mine said--

Look at my eyes.

What are they saying?

All right, I'll get
back to work in a minute.

But anyways, the train stopped
and he was gone.

And now he's trying to
find me again.

It's so romantic.

It's so dangerous.
You don't know him.

He could be some kind of nut.

Margaret, true love
requires risk.

And if this guy truly is
my soul mate,

I would travel to the ends
of the Earth to find him.

Of course, Queens is
a bit of a schlep.

Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy, look,
I'm treatin' you for an ulcer.

That doesn't come cheap.

If you can't pay me cash,
here's what I want:

I want-- I want two tickets
to tonight's game

behind home plate
to watch the Mets

play Mark McGwire
and the Cardinals.

I'm a scalper,
not a miracle worker.

The best I can do is upper deck.

Upper deck, is that right?

Yeah, uh--
Margaret, do me a favor.

Check Jimmy's
outstanding bill for me.

Let me get the deadbeat file.

All right, all right,
you got your tickets.

Ticket scalping.

I should have
sold bootleg T-shirts

like my mother wanted.

All right.
Did you hear that?

The Mets and the Cards.

I wanna get out
early tonight, Margaret.

Fine with me.

I'm giving a surprise party

for Louis tonight.

Thanks for not inviting me.

Oh, I just asked a few people.

No, I meant thanks
for not inviting me.

But if you're going out
to Shea Stadium tonight,

would you mind droppin' me off
on the way?

I'll have a cake I'd rather not
carry on the train.

Come on, traffic's horrible
that time of night.

What are you, 8 years old?

You gonna miss a few minutes
of batting practice?

Hey, look, they-they hit a lot
of home runs then.

It's really neat.

Come-- Oh, fine,
I'll take you.

But I want to be
out of here at 6:00,

so let's keep things rolling.

Who's next?
Mrs. Yudelson.

Oh, no, don't--
WOMAN: Huh?

What is it today,
Mrs. Yudelson?

It's my new medication.
My heart's a-racing.

It's just go, go, go, go.

I can't slow down.

I'm gonna make a few calls.

Let me know when she
gets there, will you?

[ blues theme playing ]

Jake, what's up?

Reg, let me have a burger,
will you? Well done.

Becker, why do you always
have to have it well done?

It kills all the flavor.

No, no, you've gotta
really cook those things.

You ever been
to a packinghouse?

It's disgusting.
They've got blood

and ground up meat
all over the place.

Just crawling with diseases,

like Vegas for bacteria.

Reg, could you do me a favor?

Could you put this back on
the grill till it's about the--

About the size of a quarter?

One burger,
no flavor comin' up.

Hey, Jake,

how would you like
to go out to Shea

and watch
Mark McGwire tonight?

Oh, damn. I'd love to.

But tonight's the night
I have to visit my grandma.

You're choosing your grandmother
over Mark McGwire?

I mean, you can
see her after the game.

Can't, if I don't
get there on time,

she hits me over the head
with her orthopedic shoe.

It's not like
I can see that comin'.

Hey, you know what?
Since you're goin' out that way,

you mind droppin' me off?
No, no, no.

Come on, John,

last time I was on the subway,

within five minutes
I got mugged, lost and felt up.

W-why is it the handicapped
never want any special attention

until they need a ride?

Won't give a ride
to a blind man, right here.

Right here.
I was kidding you.

Come on, will you?
[ chuckles ]

Thanks a lot, John,
I appreciate it.

And, uh, Reg, call me
when that burger's ready.

Mm-hm.
BECKER: Pick you up at 6.

Don't be late, I don't wanna
miss any of the game.

Oh, big deal. You miss
a few minutes of baseball,

the world's slowest game.

I mean, all it is is a bunch
of guys standing around,

spitting
and scratching themselves.

I can see that here.

Oh, no, Reg, Reg,
if you don't like baseball,

it's because you don't
understand it.

It's a-- It's a game
of-of precision

and power and speed.

You know, hitting a ball that's
traveling 90 miles an hour

with spin on it.

It's throwing out a runner
at home plate

from deep right field
on one hop.

That's artistry.
That's poetry, you know.

Throw in a--
Throw in a hot dog,

a beer
and peeing in a trough,

it's close to heaven.

Yeah, nothing says poetry
like a dozen guys whizzing.

Okay, I'll go.

I-I don't recall inviting you.

Oh, well, after Jake
turned you down,

I didn't think you had
any friends left.

I got plenty of...

Six o'clock okay?

[ blues theme playing ]

Okay, Margaret, it's 6:00.
Let's get out of here.

What is this?

It's Louis' birthday cake.

I thought you was having
a few people over.

Yeah, a few people
who really like cake.

Whatever.

But you're gonna have to
hold it in your lap

because my trunk won't open.

Dr. Becker, Margaret said
you were driving out to Queens,

and I was wondering--

Oh, crap.
Margaret, wh--?

LINDA:
Could you drop me?

I gotta meet some guy
I've never seen

at a place I've never been.

It's real important.

I just hope I make it back

'cause I always
get lost in Queens.

Then I'll definitely
take you there.

[ blues theme playing ]

I've been sitting here
for 10 seconds.

I'm guessing that's a record
for a woman in this car.

Oh, look at that.

It's already after 6.
Let's get goin' here.

You know, if this thing
looks like it smells,

you should just drive it
right off a bridge.

Hey, Jake, you know
what smells great?

The subway.

Gotcha.

Move-- Move the cake over,
will ya?

I can't, there's no room.

I need a window seat
or I get sick,

and I don't wanna throw up
in your car.

I doubt anyone would notice.
[ engine struggling ]

Oh, damn.

Someone switch
with her, please.

I'll switch.
[ engine struggling ]

Anything to get out
of this car for a second.

At this rate, we're never
gonna get out of here.

Ah-ah.
Forget that.

Hey, John, you got any
seat belts on this thing?

You gotta fish
between the seats for them.

[ engine struggling ]

Hey, hey, hey.

Sorry.
You know what?

Forget about the belt,
I'll just live dangerously.

[ engine struggles, starts ]

[ applause ]

Oh, John.

W-w-what are you doing?

This is a big night for me.

I just want to make sure
I look right.

Here, all right?
Everyone else happy now?

Can we go, please?

[ blues theme playing ]

Oh..
Hey, come on, come on.

If you're gonna drive that slow,
you shouldn't be on the road.

John, it's a hearse.
What?

Just because
it's too late for him,

doesn't mean he has to ruin it
for the rest of us.

Oh, thank you, daylight.

[ engine revs ]

John, what's your hurry?

Did you knock off a bank
before we got in?

Hey, you wanna drive?
I couldn't do any worse.

Jake, Jake, Jake.

Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake.

Very funny, very funny.

Oh, here we go.
This will be better.

[ tires screech ]

John.
[ car honks ]

Look out. Ah!

Well, did you see that?
The son of a bitch cut me off.

I had the right of way.
[ engine revs ]

Oh, what are you doing?

I'm gonna get
that guy's license plate.

He's a menace.

Forget it, let it go.

John, you are following
too close.

I can't read the number yet.

I gotta get the plate lined up
in the good headlight.

John, he's stopping.
[ tires screech ]

[ crash ]

[ sighs ]

Everyone all right?

Yeah.
Yeah, I guess so.

E-R-B-two-two-four.

You little son of a bitch.

John.

What the hell is your problem?
Me?

You cut me off back there.

Oh, look what you did.

Look what you did.
This is a classic.

You hit me from behind.
It's your fault.

I've got four witnesses
in that car,

saw the whole thing.

So far I'm not impressed.

Where are you going?

I'm gettin' the hell away
from that crazy man.

I'm takin' the train.

You better have
a damn good lawyer, pal,

'cause I'm gonna sue
your ass off.

You weren't looking
where you were going.

You were the one that hit me,

you jerk.
Hey, it was self-defense.

You were all over the place.

Look,

we have all got someplace to be.

So why don't you
just exchange information

so we can get to
where we're going?

Just apologize, Becker,
and let's get out of here.

Apologize for what?

It was your fault.

That's not one of my witnesses.

Come on, John,
I gotta get home.

Yeah, and I'm gonna be late
for my date.

I don't wanna start
our relationship

with this guy
thinkin' I'm flaky.

Well, if you can
keep that from him,

then he's the one for you.

All right, here's--
Oh, great, what is this?

You're injured
all of a sudden?

Very original.

You're just jealous because
you didn't think of it first.

I'm really not
feelin' so good.

You got pain someplace?

Oh, my chest,
I can't breathe.

You gotta get me a doctor.
I-I am a doctor.

Get me another doctor.

You on any medication?
No.

Margaret, his pulse is weak.

Yeah, he's losing color.

All right, let's go.

Is there anything I can do?

Yeah, help us get him
into the car.

Queens General
is just down the street.

Oh, yeah.

Hey, Jake, we're leaving.

Linda?

Oh, damn. I'm right back
where I started.

[ blues theme playing ]

[ blues theme playing ]

It's getting kind of late,
does anyone wanna split a cab?

Oh, I will.

John said he'd just be
a few more minutes.

He wants to check
with the man's doctor

just to make sure he's okay.

I don't care what the EKG says,

that was more than
a hyperventilation episode.

Dr. Becker,
I appreciate your concern,

but we get this quite a bit.

I mean, you did hit
Mr. Halke's car.

He got all worked up.

It was not my fault.
The guy stopped short.

You hit him from behind.
It's definitely your fault.

Hey--
John, you did.

It's totally your fault.

Trust me, Dr. Becker,

we've got it under control.

Good night.

Putz.

Damn residents,
they're so arrogant.

They spend two seconds
with a patient,

instant diagnosis.

But is the guy you hit
gonna be okay?

I-I didn't hit him.
He stopped short.

And, yeah, he's stable.

EKG came back negative.
They say he'll be fine.

Thank goodness, because you
really slammed into him.

Hey, Reg...

What-what'd you bring
the cake in here for?

John, your car doesn't lock.
Someone might steal it.

Yeah, like someone's
gonna go near his car.

BECKER: Hey--
Just take us home.

All right, all right, fine.

Maybe I can catch some
of the game there, let's go.

Hey, John, you mind
droppin' me off first?

My grandmother's 97.
Minutes count.

No, take me first.

I don't want this guy thinking
I'm playing hard to get.

Oh, seriously, Linda,
you think the guy's

still gonna be there?

If he is who I think he is,
he'll be waiting.

Well, if he's
who I think he is,

he'll be waiting
in a basement full of skulls

with a pit in the floor.

Okay, Becker, who's first?

Becker?

[ all groan ]

What now, Becker?

Something's not right.

John, come on,
if you're gonna stay here,

would you just give us the car?

Oh, all right. Here.

It's a good idea. You drive.

Just a couple of things
about the car though.

D on the gearshift
doesn't necessarily mean drive,

so you gotta anticipate.

Oh, yeah, and, uh, if you
step on the brakes,

the car turns to the right,

so if you wanna go straight,

you gotta turn the wheel
hard to the left.

Oh, hey, one more thing.

Keep your shoes on,
the gas pedal gets real hot.

Mr. Halke?

What are you doin' here?

I want to see
how you're feeling.

I've had better days.

Tell me about it.
I have tickets to the Mets.

Oh, fine. Then you win.

Tell me where your pain is,
will ya?

My chest and my back.

Yeah, your back?

Tell-tell me exactly where.

Right in the middle
of my shoulder blades.

It really hurts.

I thought we said good night
to you, Dr. Becker.

He's got chest pains
radiating into his upper back.

Well, you saw his EKG.
His cardiac enzymes are normal.

My guess is that it's
muscle strain from some trauma.

Gee, perhaps that accident
in which you rear-ended him.

All right, all right,
I think we're all clear on that.

Nevertheless, I think you
ought to check--

Well, unless I'm mistaken,

you don't have privileges
at this hospital.

So what you think I should check
doesn't really matter.

W-w-wait a minute.

What do you think
he should check?

That's all right,
Mr. Halke, you-you relax.

Here, let me just talk to you
for a second, will you, please?

Look, look, you may be right.

It may be a muscle spasm,

but your patient's
complaining about a chest pain

that radiates into his back.

He could be dissecting
his thoracic aorta.

If I were you, I'd order
an emergency CAT scan, stat.

Doctor, that's a very expensive

and traumatic procedure
based on a hunch.

I'm not putting my patient
through that.

And he is my patient.

Right, well, I hate to
fly in the face

of your months of experience,

but I have seen this before.

You know,
a hardened artery splits,

rips right out of the heart.

Usually with smokers.
I'll bet he is a smoker.

You're a smoker, right?

HALKE:
Oh, I'd k*ll for one right now.

You know what, Dr. Becker?

I know you would love
for this to be pre-existing,

because that would leave you
guilt-free from the accident,

but I'm sorry,
can't help you.

Now, are we done here?

Your patient,
your call, doctor.

[ blues theme playing ]

ANNOUNCER [ on TV ]:
Two balls and one strike...

Hi, I'm calling to see if
there's a guy in your restaurant

who looks like
he's waiting for someone.

Um, he's really handsome
with thick black hair

and deep blue eyes
that look right into your soul.

What?

He left?

Oh.

But he was my soul mate.

So what do you look like?

Oh, never mind. Thanks.

McGwire swings,

whoa, what a sh*t.

That may have been
the longest home run

I have ever seen in my life.

And that was
number three tonight.

Let's see that one again.
Oh, man.

What was he thinking trying to
blow a fastball by him?

Yeah, can you believe that?

But you have to tip your hat
to anyone who has the precision

and power to hit
a 90 mile-an-hour pitch

with a spin on it that far.

You like baseball?

Are you kidding?

I love it.

The artistry, the poetry.

Throw in a hot dog
and a beer,

and you're pretty close
to heaven.

Amazing.

I'm Steve.

I mean, uh,
Dr. Steve Witlin.

Reggie Kostas,
nice to meet you.

Can I buy you
a cup of coffee?

I'd love it.

Good.

Hello, Louis?

Are all your friends
standing around

looking really uncomfortable?

Yeah, well, surprise.

WOMAN [ on PA ]:
Dr. Witlin,
please pick up line two.

Excuse me, I'll be back.

I'll be here.

[ sighs ]

I met someone too.

[ blues theme playing ]

[ blues theme playing ]

Do you believe this?

I can't get anyone in
this hospital to listen to me.

The guy's got severe back pain

and Doogie Howser in there
says it's a muscle spasm.

Oh, you know what?
I can't do anything more here.

Come on, let's go.

Hey, come on,
I thought you all had plans.

Louis' party is over.

I planned it, I threw it,
I missed it.

Now I get to go home
and clean up after it.

Well--
LINDA: Yeah, Dr. Becker,

what if because of you
I missed the chance

to meet the future father
of my children?

How will I
explain that to them?

Thanks to you, my grandma
will never speak to me again.

Oh, come on.
What is she, 97?

Just call her up
and tell her you were there.

Well, you guys wanna sit around
and bitch or you wanna go?

Come on.
Oh, just take us home.

Uh, Dr. Becker?

[ all groan ]
Hey, hey, hey.

Relax, will you?
We're leaving.

What?

Um...

I took your advice
and ordered that CAT scan.

It showed a dissection
of his ascending aorta.

We're prepping him
for the OR now.

How did you know
you were right?

I didn't. You said he was fine,
he said he wasn't.

I thought he knew better.

All right.
Well, um, thanks.

You kind of saved my ass.

Hey, come here. Listen,
this happens to all of us.

I interned at Boston General.

Cases came in there so fast,
I could hardly think straight.

I know that they expect you
to have all the answers,

but you gotta keep
an open mind, you know.

You gotta be patient,

listen to what others
around you are saying.

Dr. Becker, are we gonna lea--?
I'm havin' a conversation here.

You know what I'm saying?

Be patient and listen.

I think I got it. Thanks.

The guy's still a putz.

Well, come on, you wanna
sit around or you wanna go?

I could tell you
who else is a putz.

[ blues theme playing ]

Three home runs.

McGwire hits
three home runs

in one game,
and I miss it.

Why does everything
happen to me?

Hey, look at the bright side.
You saved a man's life.

Yeah, well...

But three home runs.

It's amazing.

In the same night,

I got to see you
save a man's life

and whine like a 3-year-old.

Well, it's all part of my charm.

[ chuckles ]
I'll give you this, Becker,

an evening with you is not dull.

Thank you.

So...

where am I taking you two?

Oh, I know a great
sports bar in Bayside.

Sports bar? You're gonna
take her to a sports bar?

She doesn't even like--
Ow.

All right, all right.

Here, make yourself useful.

Hold this up here, will you?

Higher.

[ blues theme playing ]

[ blues theme playing ]