01x10 - Around the World in 80 Narfs

[bunniefuu]

Gee, brain, what do you
want to do tonight?

Same thing we do
every night, pinky--

Try to take over the world.

♪ They're pinky and the brain ♪

♪ Yes, pinky and the brain

♪ One is a genius

♪ The other's insane ♪

♪ They're laboratory mice ♪

♪ Their genes
have been spliced ♪

♪ They're dinky ♪

♪ They're pinky and the brain ♪

♪ Brain, brain, brain

♪ Brain, brain, brain, brain

♪ Brain

♪ Before each night is done

♪ Their plan will be unfurled

♪ By the dawning of the sun

♪ They'll take over
the world ♪

♪ They're pinky and the brain ♪

♪ Yes, pinky and the brain

♪ Their twilight campaign

♪ Is easy to explain

♪ To prove their mousey worth

♪ They'll overthrow the earth ♪

♪ They're dinky ♪

♪ They're pinky
and the brain ♪

♪ Brain, brain, brain

♪ Brain, brain

♪ Brain, brain

Narf!

Celebrity, pinky--
a weird and magical power,

And those who have it
wield tremendous influence.

Few can avoid the enchantment
of its spell.

Do you know what gives them
this power?

Pinky?

Look at me, brain!

I'm on clutch cargo!

Narf!

Blah blah blah
blah blah blah!

Hey, paddlefoot,

Do you know
what they call

The quarter pounder
in france?

Ha ha ha--ahh!

Enough gay banter.

Pinky, behold the key

To the power
of attraction.

Pushpins! Hurrah!

No, pinky, this!

A winning smile.

Oh, right,
and a nice healthy gum.

And a nice
healthy gum.

I have taken
this idea, pinky,

Of the influential smile
to a new level--

A level of no less
than world domination!

Behold the great
capitulator!

Oh! Egad, brain,
it's...

When did you have
time to make that?

While you were
so engrossed

In your
mr. Belvedere reruns.

Oh, I miss him.

By manipulating
adhesive qualities

Of polymer-based alkyds

And calciumetric
platform bases,

We can synthesize
a resinous cladding

For the foremost
bonelike structures

Rooted in my jaw socket.

You mean like, um...

Yes.

Dentures.

Oh, brain,
that's enchanting!

Ironically, pinky,
that's exactly what it is,

For the reflective
vibrations of my smile

Stimulate
the medulla oblongata,

Causing the viewer
to adore me

For no good reason.

Ergo,
instant celebrity!

Zort! I'm adoring you
for no good reason.

Pinky, nothing
you do is for
good reason.

Once the world views
my happy grin,

They will be
our willing followers.

Egad, brain!
Brilliant!

Oh, wait! No, no!

What if they're
wearing sunglasses?

Hmm.

We'll work nights.

But first we need
mass exposure.

Hmm. I'm thinking
what would mr. Belvedere do?

I believe he would
eat some butter.

I'm afraid, my friend,

That you've seen way
too much of mister--

Yes! That's it!

Pinky, are you pondering
what I'm pondering?

I think so, brain,

But it's a miracle
that this one grew back.

No, pinky.

We shall use a w*apon

Of great stealth, power,
and corruption--

Our own sitcom.

I'll tell you guys
right now,

I only have room
for one more sitcom

In the schedule.

Well, then we're the guys
with the show.

I think you're
gonna like it.

Go.

No, no, I mean, tell me
your ideas. Start.

Ok, ok, ok.

So there's
this guy, right,

And get this--
he designs bikinis.

Ha ha ha!

Yeah, tiny little bikinis.

Ha ha ha!

Yeah, minuscule,
so, like, lots
of supermodels.

Both: ha ha ha!

Oh, yeah!
Oh, yeah!

Ok, ok, ok, ok.

So here's the hook.

He's pretending
to be blind. Get it?

Ha ha ha!

Who's there?
Who's there?

Ha ha ha!

I k*ll me!
Who's there?

Oh, who's there?
Ha ha ha!

Ah, we're really not looking
for any smart stuff.

Here he comes.

Any luck, brain?

Brain?

Yes! To the television
station!

Ha ha ha!

[Siren]

Drat! The man.

Look at the size
of you, speedy.

How old are you?

I'm 2.

Don't mess with me,
punk. You understand?

Why, certainly.

I'm adoring you
for no good reason.

I know.

Whee!

Oh, that was fun,
brain!

From now on, pinky,

We must use new names--

Typical of
the entertainment business.

You will be
jonathan michael charles

And I will be
jamaal spelling.

Right-o, brain--
um, jamaal.

Narf!

Brain: excuse me.
We're here to pitch,

As they say,
a sitcom idea.

Appointment?

I'm sure you can
work us in.

You're next
for no good reason.

Thanks, but
no thanks, guys.

Wait! Wait!
Check this idea out.

It's about a guy--
ok, me,

Who always puts his foot
in his mouth.

And I'm not kidding!
What do you say?

I say leave!

Uh!

[Whistling]

We'll talk.

[Groaning]

Ooh. Oh.

Can't I ever just
see someone normal?

Ahem.

Thank goodness.
Please sit.

Thank you.

This is jonathan
michael charles,

And I am
jamaal spelling.

You guys have
quite a look.

Thank you.

Now, what do you
got for me?

Egad, brain!
He's not adoring you
for no good reason!

Drat! It must be
those sunglasses.

Well, uh, we're young,
hip adults...

And hijinks ensue!

Who sit on
a big fat couch
and whine...

With disastrous
results...

And have lots
of generation x friends

Who trade zippy,
sarcastic banter.

And I have a monkey!

Hmm. Fresh, but tell me,

What really
brings you here?

What are you, jamaal
and jonathan, all about?

Actually,
we are two lab mice

Involved in a broad
and sweeping plan

To take over the world.

Ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha!

Take over the world!

I love it!

Lab mice taking over
the world?

These are the jokes?

They're stealing
our spot, man!

I like it, but
I'm going to pass.

Your stuff is very funny,
you've definitely got a look,

But nobody knows
who you are.

You know what sells
a sitcom?

The word "butt"?

Ha ha ha!

You're good.

But I'm talking about
personality--

Known personality.

You guys are nobodies.

The day I see your face

On the cover
of peeple magazine,

Is the day
you get a sitcom.

[Chuckling]


To take over the world!

Ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha!

Oh!

Egad, brain!

I know how you can
get on the cover
of peeple.

Marry
prince charles.

That's ridiculous,
pinky.

Who'd want to marry
someone with ears
like that?

Princess diana,
on the other hand,

I admit I've always
found attractive.

You know, pinky,

The path
I must follow

Is the same one
followed by

The leading sitcom stars
of the day.

I must become a successful
stand-up comedian.

[Engine starts]

But, brain,
do you know
what it takes

To become
a stand-up comedian?

Hmm.

The word "butt"?

Ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha!

[Tires screeching]

All the successful
comedians, pinky,

Have an
individual voice--

A style.

I must find my voice.

Oh, I know, brain.
How about this one?

[In raspy voice]
oh, hey, you!
Oh, this is my voice.

Pinky, you're
making a case
for vivisection.

Hello, folks,
welcome to open mic night

At the giggle and guzzle.

Let's put them together
for newcomer jamaal spelling.

The teeth, brain.

Are you suggesting
I can't elicit a laugh

From some
pathetic clubgoers?

Besides, those things are
making my gums all puffy.

You're on, kid.

My comedy jacket, pinky.

Hey, how about
those mitochondria?

Do they have enough cilia,
or what?

[Crickets chirping]

Hey, that's
the chump

Who's stealing our
chance for a sitcom!

Hey, why don't you
tell a joke you know!

Did you ever notice how,

When you're
looking in the mirror

Of a quadrant electrometer

Your forehead seems large?
Why is that?

[Crickets chirping]

You stink!

Hey, let's see you
put your foot
in your mouth!

Can you do that?
Hmm? Can you?

Ahem.

I just flew in
from cleveland

And boy, are my
upper extremities

Fatigued by a build up
of lactic acid.

Boo!

Go back to your
troll village,
squirt!

What do you
say to that?

I find you repugnant.

Both: ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha!

Your stupidity is matched

Only by
the ilslip caterpillar

That chews off
its own wings

After emerging
from its cocoon.

Both: ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha!

All: ha ha ha!

In fact, all of you,
you're just a gaggle

Of pathetically misguided
root diggers.

All: ha ha ha!

Why don't you all--
why don't you

Stand under
a stalactite

And bellow the resonant
room frequency

Causing it to plummet
onto your cranium.

[Laughter]

You're repugnant!

I say repugnant!

Egad, brain! Narf!
They loved you!

[Audience
laughing hysterically]

Yes!

Look out, don rickles,

'Cause our comedy challenger
is a master of insults,

A prince of put-downs,

Jamaal spelling!

Ha ha ha!

You're all a bunch of
crevulating nitwits

With peat moss for a cortex.
Repugnant!

Next on "g!", Howie tern hosts
comedian jamaal spelling!

So, jamaal spelling.

What kind of stupid name
is that?

Come on,
what's your real name?

My real name
is the brain,

And you,
my unwashed friend,
are repugnant.

Ha ha ha!

Oh, you're hot, baby.

He he! Uh,
my next guest--

Paul, do you know
who our next guest is?

Dave, I know
he's a beautiful
kinda nutty cat

Who's just got us
all a-wow.

Uh, he he!

Here he is,
ladies and gentlemen,

For your comedy dollar,

Jamaal spelling!

[Cheering and applause]

Somebody here smells like

A coagulated agar slant
growing in a petri dish.

Repugnant! Repugnant!
Repugnant!

Repugnant!

Welcome, mr. Kilmer.

Thanks.
What's that smell?

Lemur juices
it'll relax your colon.

My secretary
sent me here.

Actually, I feel
kind of stupid.

Oh, honey,
that's a good thing.

If there weren't
any stupid people,

I wouldn't have
any business.

Now, you got some pain?

Yeah, I fell out
of my chair.

I'm going to
hypnotize you,
so relax.

This will
make you sleepy.

What is it?

A kenny g. Album.

Ok, you're in a trance.

I'm gonna give you
a random word.

If you feel pain,
say that word.

You'll feel good.

But, careful, 'cause
if you say it

When you're feeling good,

The pain
will come back--bad.

[Snore]

And your random word
is...repugnant.

Hey, I feel good!

Repugnant.

Uh!

Repugnant.

Oooh.

There you go.

Now, would you like to buy
a ceramic troll?

Tv: tonight on
circus of the stars,

Harry dean anderson gets sh*t
out of a giant pasta maker,

Comedian jamaal spelling
flies the trapeze,

And bob saget gets trampled
by a bear--we hope.

Egad, brain!
Circus of the stars!

Narf!
You really made it!

I want to be on
circus of the stars!

I want to be sh*t
out of a cannon!

Preferably
without a helmet,

But you are correct,
my fun-loving little friend.

I have really made it.

Soon, pinky, they'll
give us our own sitcom,

And then, the world!

But, brain,
you still haven't
gotten on the cover

Of peeple magazine.

Yes. Hmm.

It's time to use
plan "b," pinky.

There was an "a"?
Poit!

[Dial tone]

Operator.

Yes. Connect me
with buckingham palace,
please.

Egad, you did it,
brain!

The cover of peeple!
Narf!

Yes!

He did it.

The little squirt!

Nina--nina,
get me jamaal spelling

On the phone.

Ha ha! You did it!

Ow!

Oh, repugnant.

Ahh!

Wow. That really works.

[Telephone rings]

[Ring]

Woman: you have
reached acme labs.

We are temporarily closed
due to massive budget cuts

Which basically put us
all out on the streets!

[Beep]

Uh, yeah,
this is jerry kilmer

Calling for
jamaal spelling. I--

Hello, hello, this is
jamaal spelling.

Jamaal! Funny,
funny message, babe!

Listen, congrats
on the peeple cover.

I think we're going
to make a sitcom
together.

Can you send me
a videotape
of your act?

Gladly.

Make me laugh, jamaal,

And you've got yourself
a sitcom.

Why don't you all--

Why don't you
stand under a stalactite

And bellow the resonant
room frequency

Causing it to plummet
onto your cranium!

You're repugnant!

Ow!

I say repugnant!

Ahh!

...crevulating nitwits
with peat moss for a cortex.

Repugnant!

Ow!

Repugnant!
Ahh.

Repugnant!

Ow!

Repugnant!
Repugnant!

Aah!

I'll get you jamaal spell--

[Crash]

We must have
an exemplary idea

For this show, pinky.

Brain! Egad!

This is it!
This is the show!

What are you
talking about?

About nothing.

You and me!

It's a show
about nothing!

The fact that your mind

Is not clouded
by medication

Only fills me with pity.

[Telephone rings]

[Ring]

This is jamaal spelling.

Hi, jamaal.
This is nina
at the tv station.

Can you come down
for a meeting?

Um-hmm.

Hello, nina.

Hi, jonathan.
Hi, jamaal.

You guys
go right on in.

He's waiting
for you.

Glad to see us?

Kilmer:
yes, I am.

Aah!

Uh! Narf.

[Crunch]

I sense failure.

Hey, what's this?

Oh, good.
One more thing

You can put
in your mouth.

Hi, we got
an appointment.

Hey, mr. Kilmer.
How you doing?

A little better
right now.

Something else
fell through.

What do you guys
got for me, huh?

Ok, ok,
it's a little
high-concept,

But it's perfect
for us,

And I think
you'll like it.

It's a show about


Who want to take over
the world.

Ha ha ha!

I like that!
I like that a lot!

Let's do it!

And, I'm adoring you
for no good reason.

You said he'd
call it repugnant!

Aah!

Tv: hey, cortex,
what do you want
to do tonight?

Same thing we do
every night, gimpy--

Try to take over
the world!

The word upchuck
keeps coming to me.

We must think of
something no one
else would do.

How about putting
my foot in my mouth,

Like this.

Enough fiction
for tonight, pinky.

We must plan
for tomorrow.

What, brain?

What are we going to do
tomorrow night?

The same thing
we do--for real--
every night, pinky--

Try to take over
the world!

♪ They're dinky ♪

♪ They're pinky and the brain,
brain, brain, brain, brain ♪