03x05 - My Feldmans, My Friends

[bunniefuu]

Gee, brain, what do you
want to do tonight?

The same thing
we do every night,
pinky,

Try to take over
the world.

♪ They're pinky
and the brain ♪

♪ Yes, pinky
and the brain ♪

♪ One is a genius

♪ The other's insane ♪

♪ They're
laboratory mice ♪

♪ Their genes
have been spliced ♪

♪ They're dinky ♪

♪ They're pinky
and the brain ♪

♪ Brain, brain, brain

♪ Brain, brain, brain,
brain, brain ♪

♪ Before each night
is done ♪

♪ Their plan
will be unfurled ♪

♪ By the dawning
of the sun ♪

♪ They'll take over
the world ♪

♪ They're pinky
and the brain ♪

♪ Yes, pinky
and the brain ♪

♪ Their twilight campaign

♪ Is easy to explain

♪ To prove
their mousey worth ♪

♪ They'll overthrow
the earth ♪

♪ They're dinky ♪

♪ They're pinky
and the brain ♪

♪ Brain, brain, brain

♪ Brain, brain,
brain, brain ♪♪

Narf!

Radio, pinky,

The last bastion
of unfettered
communication.

And the one place

You don't have to look
at that guy tori spelling.

Once we complete
this tower, pinky,

Every radio on the planet

Will be forcibly tuned
to one station--

K-brain.

Ooh, k-brain?

I always thought
the "k" was silent,

Like the "j"
in pinky. K-narf!

Pinky, here's a fun one.

Try making the sound
of silent "e."

Tonight, my friend,
I shall deliver
a fireside chat

So chockfull of
persuasive propaganda,

The cradle of humanity
will hail me as...

"The greater
communicator."

Whee!

Narf!

"Step number 4--

Fit red rubber nub
over apex."

Pinky, make yourself
functional

And fetch me my pliers
and the red rubber nub.

Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh.

Pliers?

Yes, pliers.

They have 2 handles
and a...ply.

Ooh, handles!

Zort!

Oh, here we are,
brain.

Pliers and a red
rubber nub,

No, that's a moist
jarvic heart wrapped
in a sleeveless jersey.

Want to know
where I got it?

No.

Go put it back,
quickly.

You want something
done right,

You have to do it
your--

Yaaaaah!

Self.

Are you all right,
brain?

Ohhhh!

Yes, yes, darling.

Now make mama a sandwich.

Did you find
your rub-neeba
nib nab nub?

Narf!

No. Apparently, we're
still red rubber nubless.

Perhaps we used it
in the wrong capacity.

We'll have to
disassemble the tower.

Really? Wrong
ribba nibba

In the neeba rub
rib bub?

There are days
I think I'd be
more productive

If my sidekick

Were a pliant corndog.

Let's start over.

Disassemble tower.
Check.

Red rubber nub,
no check.

[Grumbling]

Ow!

Brain, get a hold
of yourself.

The doppler
modifications I've made

To boost
the tower's power

Have turned
this transmitter

Into
an earth-endangering
lightning rod.

[Gasp]

I don't get it.

Without that
red rubber nub,

One bolt of lightning
will cook the earth

Like a big baked potato.

Egad, brain!
We'll surely burn

If we don't
cover our shoulders
in sour cream.

Sometimes, pinky,

I think I do have
a pliant corndog
for a sidekick.

Yes, I've bought
your box o' tower,

But I didn't get
my red rubber nub.

Only one left.

Well, send it to me
right away.

Mr. The brain.

Yes, that's right,
acme labs.

Thank you.

Pinky, what
are you doing?

[Grunting]

Trying to see
the top of my head.

[Knock on door]

My nub.

Oop!

I could swear
I heard a knock.

Look, brain.

"Sorry you weren't here."

They've delivered
the package

To our next-door
neighbor.

I didn't know
we had a neighbor.

No. Not since that nice
mr. Carlisle exploded.

We must retrieve
our package, pinky.

Our plan, in fact,
the world itself
is at stake.

But we can't risk
revealing ourselves

To someone who
lives in the vicinity.

We must concoct
a disguise so cunning

Our neighbor
would never suspect
that we are 2 lab mice

Bent on taking
over the world.

[Doorbell chimes]

Greetings, neighbor.

We're the feldmans.

Feldman?

I didn't know
I had neighbors.

Not since that nice
mr. Carlisle exploded.

Yes. Uh, my name
is mr. Feldman.

And I am the lovely
and sociable
mrs. Vera feldman.

We live in the
blue-hued structure

Just round the bend.

The laboratory?

Uh...it was
a laboratory.

It went condo last year.

My name is sultana.

What's your first name?

Sultana.

Sultana sultana?

Yes, yes,
mr. Sultana sultana.

But you can
call me barry.

Mrs. Feldman and I
returned to our
middle class

Suburbanite habitat,

And we found a note
stuck to the door.

Do you have our package,
mr. Barry barry
banana fofari?

Yes, feldman,
I do have your package.

Somewhere.

Give me a minute
to find my shovel.

Get back! Get back!

Get off of my back!

Ah, here it is.

Here we go, my friends.

One package for mr...

What did you tell me
your last name was,
mr. Feldman?

Feldman.

This package
is for a mr. The brain.

Those 2 names are
completely different.

Like sultana and...

Sultana.

Yes, well, uh...

Mr. The brain was
my, uh...nickname

On the old
high school
rassling squad.

Ha ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha!

Someone is shaving
the wool out
from under my eyes.

Forgive me, my friends,

But my civic duties
are pinching.

I don't know you
from another
hole in my head.

I cannot go
giving this package
to willy nilly.

Good-bye!

My friends!

The feldmans.

Such a misguided ploy.

What was I thinking?

The storm's due to hit
within 8 hours.

If we don't secure that nub,
we'll end up like...

Like the crumbs
that occupy
the corner of my eye?

In a manner of speaking.

What do we do now,
brain?

We must win
the neighborly trust
of mr. Sultana,

And then convince him
I am mr. The brain.

Faster!

Cut the grass,
cut the grass!

No! Your munching
is quite haphazard.

Hello, mr. Sultana.

It's me,
the neighborhood
welcome wagon

Bringing you
a potted posy

And a bowl
of moldy jell-o.

Mrs. Feldman means
jell-o mold.

Really? In what
language?

Hey, feldman,
that's some nice tool
you got there.

Thanks, barry.

Care to take her
for a spin around the yard?

Would i? Would i?
Peg leg.

I'm liking you more,
feldman.

Please, you can call me...

Mr. The brain.

Mmm, I'm not
liking you that much.

Ha! Ha ha!

Ha ha ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha ha!

Yes, now for step 2.

Operation fake yearbook

With my face pasted
over someone else's.

Which plan
is that, brain?

Whoa!

That's some humdinger.

Hey what you reading,
bazooka joe?

No, we were just
reliving days gone by

As depicted
here in this,

My high school yearbook.

Oh, look,
mr. Feldman,

Oh, here's your
senior portrait.

Narf!

Look at that hair.
Ha ha.

What was I thinking?

This looks familiar.

Hey, I went to
purnell roberts
union high school, too.

See, look at my hair.

Remember me?

I was in the chorus
of the music man.

I played trombone
number 72. See?

That lousy gary busey,

Every year he b*at
me out for the lead:

The musical man
in the music man,

Curly in oklahoma,

Hedda gabler.

Gee whiz,

We're old
high school chums.

Well, why not
fetch my package

For old
purnell high's sake?

I'll tell you what,
my friend.

If nobody claims
package in 2 days,

I'll give it to you.



Oh, that really
chaps my pelt.

Pinky, are you pondering
what I'm pondering?

I think so, brain.

But how will we get
the spice girls

Into the paella?

No, pinky,

It's time to take
drastic measures

With this
neighbor thing.

The backyard barbecue.

Mm-mmm, lovely
mrs. Feldman.

Them franks sure smell
like a little piece of heaven.

Barry:
yoo-hoo, the feldmans!

Remember, pinky,
we must humor him,

Gain his trust,

And then gain access
to his house.

I brought back
your jell-o bowl.

I washed it
with my own 2 hands,

Which is a luxury
I don't even
afford myself.

Well, the world
could use a few more
mr. Sultana sultanas.

Ay yi yi!

That's some big tower
you got there.

What are you, trying
to take over the world?

Heh heh heh!
Ha ha ha!

Ah ha ha ha!

Take over the world!

When I got it,
I can't get rid of it.

Quick, the feldmans,
into your house!

No, no, no.
It's just been
sprayed for, uh...

Ticks.

We're friends now.
Come over to my house.

Pinky, do you realize
what this means?

Our package.
The door is open
to nab our nub.

Follow, pinky.

[Gasp]

Brain:
what a lot of...stuff.

We'll never find
that package in time.

Wait! Wait!
Don't look yet!

My house
is not a home.

Ok! My house
is a very, very,
very fine house.

Come in! Come in!

Mmm!

I smell water-log.

What a lovely home
you have, barry.

It's so...moist.

Hey, who wants juice?

I do! I do!

Harelip! Narf!

Yes, I could do
with a fresh squirt,
as they say.

Hey, if I'm not back
in 20 minutes,

What did i,
fall in? Aah!

While I sneak about
searching for our package,

Mrs. Feldman will
distract mr. Sultana
by seducing him.

Oh, how wonderful!

Mr. Sultana is
so kind and caring

And swarthy
and tall,

And mrs. Feldman,
mrs. Feldman is...

Me.

Narf!

Have faith, pinky.

My meteorological calculations
indicate this tempest
is about to befall us.

If we don't affix that
red rubber nub pronto...

We'll suffer worse
than a department store
santa

When rush limbaugh
comes a sittin'.

Vivid, yet apropos.

Everything
is hunky monkey!

Your juice is frothy
like the snowman
or a rabid dog.

Oh, for shame.
I fear I must
be leaving.

So soon? I was
just getting ready
to show you my wet bar.

It's so...wet.

Isn't that
always the way?

Well, toodles!

Farewell, barry.

Farewell, the lovely
and nubile mrs. Feldman.

Sorry, but some of
my used clothing
has become crunchy.

Well, barry...

Um...

How about some music?

Oh, ok.

Hi, brain. Narf!

[Violins playing]

Oh, mrs. Feldman,

You are so lucky
to have somebody.

I'm a very lonely man.

I wasn't always
so charming and aloof.

In the old days,
I was young
and bulbous.

Barry:
where are you going?

Um...feed the meter?

No, pinky, not yet.

Why do you
run, joey, run?

Do I frighten you?

Oh, no,
but lightning does.

So, when I hear it,
I run like lightning,

Which scares me
even more,

So I run even more
lightning, uh.

Oh, I understand
mrs. Feldman.

You are leaving me
like every other woman.

Exactly. Ta-ta!

Barry: I understand.

I know your feelings.

Mr. Feldman is a good man
and a very lucky to boots.

Here. Take your package
and run to him.

Run, mrs. Feldman, run!

Yes!

I'll never forget you,
barry.

Call me
mr. Sultana sultana.

Mm-hmm.

[Sad music]

[Pinky whimpering]

Pinky,
what are you doing?

Making pathos.

[Crash]

My flute!

Never mind that.

We only have


To place our nub
and prepare
my radio address.

Pinky?

[Whimpering]

What is it?

Loser.

You don't understand him,
brain.

He's all lonely
and alone.

Well, what do you want me
to do about it?

Give him the happies,
please!

I'll put the nub
on the tower.

Just talk to him and
mend his broken heart.

Oh...very well!

Thank you, brain.

Don't thank me.
Just get that nub
on the tower.

[Crying]

Feldman, go away!

I'm not wanting you
to see me all broken up.

Ehh!

Ahh!

Hey, buckle up,
big guy.

There's plenty
of fried fish
in the ocean.

When you fall off
the horse,

You gotta have


Or something.

Fine for you.

You, who have everything.

My life is like
somebody who gets
the pocket fisherman

And then loses
the pocket fish.

Poit!

A wet suit?

Feldman, why was I
not born more like you,

All swank and snazzy?

Instead, I am
the massive loser!

All my life,
I am the loser--

Losing my lunch,

Losing the hair
off my back,

And always losing out to
that no-good gary busey

For the lead
in the school play!

I am the president
of the losers club
for losers!

[Crying]

Yes, well,
you have a good cry,

And I'm certain things
will look rosier when...

The grass gets greener.

You think, maybe?

No!

Who am I kidding?

Nobody's liking me!

[Crying]

Okey-doodles.

That's about enough.

[Straining]

Pinky, we only have an hour
until our broadcast begins.

Pinky?

Pinky,
what are you doing?

Pinky, get down from there!

You're gonna get k*lled!

No, I'm not, brain.

I'm all rubbery
and nubbery.

Aah!

Waah!

Wow! Hoo hoo hoo!

Ooh!

Oh, that was fun,
brain,

Almost like being
struck by lightning

And getting thrown
from a radio tower.

Yes, like it,
but completely different.

Now, what in the name
of zantippy's bippy

Are you doing
in that wet suit,

And where is
my rubber nub?!

Well, when I opened the
box sultana gave us,

It turned out to be
this wet suit.

Oh, yes,
the wet suit I ordered
but never received

For plan 2535409er,
operation butterfat.

So I became
my own rubber nub.

Zort!

Commendably resourceful,
pinky,

But another lightning bolt

Could strike
the top of that tower
at any time.

Package for mr. The brain.

I am mr. The brain.

[Crying]

And I have
a special delivery
telegram

For a mr. Sultana.

I am mr. Sultana.

Who could be
special delivering me?

Come, pinky.

We finally have our nub.

But, brain--narf!

Don't you wanna see
what mr. Sultana's
letter says?

Hmm hmm hmm?

No time for that, pinky.

We have to save the world
so we can take it over.

Success, pinky!

Just in time
for my radio address.

Now, when lightning hits
the top of the tower,

It will do no harm.

Egad! Wonderful, brain!

Oh, no, wait.

What if lightning hits
the side of the tower?

I hadn't
thought of that.

Aah!
Aah!

Perhaps I'll be
joining mr. Sultana

In that losers club
for losers.

Oh, don't worry about
mr. Sultana, brain.

Here he comes to tell us
about his newfound
good fortune.

Good fortune?

Hello, my feldmans.

I'd love to also play
with jungle jimmy,

But my ships
have finally come in.

Listen to
the special delivery
I am having.

"Come at once to addis ababa
dinner theater. Stopping.

"Gary busey canceled
at last minute. Stopping.

"Need you for lead
in music man.

Signed, your high school
drama teacher."

And now I give
to mr. And mrs. Feldman

A big bag of falafel
and yams

For remembering me.
Bye!

How did you know
what was in
that telegram?

What? Um, me?

I mean, uh--narf!

Pinky, has someone been
using the lab phone
for unauthorized calls?

Well, just one little call
to gary busey.

Hmm.

Let us just say
that your extra jumbo
family-sized heart

More than makes up
for your free
sample-sized mind.

Now, come. We must
return to the lab

And prepare
for tomorrow night.

Why, brain? What are we
gonna do tomorrow night,

Order tickets
for the addis ababa
dinner theater?

Only if my brains
are replaced by yogurt.

Otherwise, we shall...

Try to take over
the world!

♪ They're pinky ♪

♪ They're pinky
and the brain ♪

♪ Brain, brain,
brain, brain ♪