02x01 - Episode 1

[bunniefuu]

Down here, turn left, spot 105. Thankyou.

Hello Sir, I'm here to view with the

Amanda Show. Do you have a ticket?

Not with me. What's your name?

Penelope Taint Amanda's number one fan?

Please hold on. I'll see if your name is

on the list.

Amanda, man to man. Amanda, man. Amanda.

Hey, let me see here.

Nope, sorry, it's not on there. I can't

let you in. Not even

for a bag of jewels.

Sorry, no can do.

Maybe cash is more your style.

I cannot let you in.

If I can't get in, I suppose I'll just

enjoy. This slice of

pizza.

Pizza. Oh,

that's good.

My second thought. I don't think I want

it.

Very well, sucker.

Who loves you?

Finally loves you.

My name's Amanda and IFB at the end of my

legs.

Thank you for coming. OK, you guys want

to hear about something weird that

happened to me?OK,

so get this the other night. I'm doing my

homework right? And the phone rings and

it's. Rosie O'Donnell

asks me if I enjoy avocados,

which I do. But you know, stuff seems

like kind of a weird question, right?

Oh, OK, What is that noise?

OK, look, you guys, hang on. I gotta go

find out what's going on.

Where is that coming from?

Excuse me, Hello.

Not to be rude or anything,

but we're doing a show right now,

audience. All right, you ain't bothering

us. You've misunderstood. You see?

Don't just stand there. Come dance

with us. I'm

not going to square dance. I'm right in

the middle of a show. Please.

All right, let's dance.

This movie is great, but I wish we had

popcorn. I'll get some. Don't leave.

I'm wearing popper pants.

Popper pants? Yeah, the popcorn you

make in your pants. Watch.

Wow. You want popcorn? We do.

That's good popcorn.

It's pants fresh. I'm

population.

I'm at butter.

I'm going to add caramel.

I'm going to add gravy.

Pumper pants.

In a world where nothing seems right,

I'll never find anyone who can understand

my tortured teenage soul. A group of

friends deal with their problems. I

want Moody to think of me as more than

just an extremely attractive male friend.

Does my breath smell fresh?

I wish I were elsewhere.

You're going to come watch me try out for

cheerleading, right?

It's about life.

I've been doing my best to try to be both

a mother and a father to you, but I know

it's all the same. Amanda

Bynes is.

Moody. Moody. Yeah, you are.

Dawson had a Creek. Moody

has a point. Watch out for this cable.

Premium next week. Remember show.

Excuse me. My mother came in here to rent

Snow Day for me because I'm a good boy.

You gave her this instead. No, no, no,

no. Your mother no Ask for a snow

day. She asked for snowy day.

Snowy day. That's not right. This movie

better. Much better.

Look, it is snowing. Snowy day,

yes.

Oh, there is so much snow.

There's school. She is closed. Yes, now

I. I will throw snowball at you.

Oh snowy.

You. Got it.

That was so good. No,

it wasn't good. Good boys know what's

good, and that wasn't. My mother wants a

r*pe fund.

Hello. You can have egg.

Good boys don't take eggs fromforeigners.

With that boy, runs his mother

Wiggle.

All right, What is the matter with you

people? I sent my step nephew in here to

rent Mission Impossible on DVD, and you

gave him this. This is not a

movie. This is not even a DVD.

He not asked for a DVD, He asked for DVP.

P That's a hunk of

wood. Did you try in DVP

player? What kind of player plays hunks

of wood? This is lettuce

technology from a fun line. This

is DVD Player. We will play

DVT for you.

Press play, yeah, yeah.

This is my favorite mod.

What was that?And what is

this?Who uses a gasoline

powered DVD player?

DVP stop saying that I don't

like you people. As a matter of fact, I'm

going to report you to the better

physical.

Weather.

Claire Rudon, hold on. Very good,

everybody. This is a

1971 luxury convertible.

We locked 6 strange people in this car

stranded in the middle of a parking lot

in downtown Oklahoma. These strange

people are Tony pajamas

Mr. Gullible Debbie Judge

Trudy. The bailiff and

the dancing lobster. The rules. You

leave the car, you lose.

The prize goes to the last person

remaining in the car.

$1 million.

Now let's see how long these strange

people can stand each other in a locked

car. Stranded

day one. I hereby

call this competition to order. Hey, this

ain't no courtroom. You ain't Chad G.

I like eggs. Who gives a rat's

hat?My name is

Mr. Gullible. I bet you I win

the $1,000,000. They Gullible. Go get me

a soda. But if I

exit the vehicle, I lose. Oh

no, no what? They changed the rules?

Really.

Absolutely. Oh well. In fact, what the

rules say. Then I'd be happy to affect

you. Or shoulder.

What? They said they changed the rules,

but now I'm asleep with all

of you. One down.

With Mr. Gullible God, only 5

participants remain. The tension

mounts day 7.

I got to get something to eat. Me too.

I'm starving over here.

I'm going to eat this lobster. If I eat

him first.

Come on, he's coming with us. Let's go.

Down. Only four

participants remain.

I like eggs. I

like eggs. Eggs. I

like like that. Eggs.

Look, kumquat. Unless you've got some

eggs, I suggest you shut your head hole

before you like stupid Jews all over the

place. I like eggs. That's

it.

They're hungry, they're tired. And

now, on Day 20, it's time to vote one of

their own out of the car. Who will it

be?I like eggs.

I like eggs. I

like cakes.

I like eggs.

I like cakes.

I like eggs.

I like gigs.

I like cakes.

I think I like

hate. Three

down.

You know I like eggs

too silent. Forgive

me.

Day 34. Only three

contestants remain. They've eaten nothing

in over a month. They don't smell good.

They're desperate for food. They resort

to eating parts of the car.

No one expected what happened next.

So say a friend of mine steals his kids

bicycle, right? But nobody sees me. I

mean that sees him do it. Could

I I mean that he my friend get in trouble

for this or what?You disgust me.

That don't answer my question. How many

pajamas?Pajamas, you're under arrest for

stealing a bicycle. Who squealed on me?

You did. We were watching the show.

Great.

Fall down.

Two people remain Judge

Trudy and the bailiff.

Who Will Win the $1,000,000? Which

one will it be?Judge.

Yes, two. Yes,

Bailiff. The

$1,000,000 is in the

trunk, right?That's

correct. And the keys to the car?

They're right there in the ignition.

I'm thinking Vegas hit it, dude.

No, no, no. Wait, wait. You can't do

that. That's not in the rules. All right,

Come back. All right, Bring that car

back. Hey, hey, come on. I'm

serious. Next

time take the keys out. Sorry.

OK, miss, we've got one seat left right

here. Excuse me, excuse me. Thank you.

Excuse me.

Hello.

Yeah.

My name is Courtney.

Great.

What are you doing? Taping my fingers?

What feels good?

Hey, what are

you doing now? Haircut. I

want a haircut.

I.

What are you doing?

Eating yogurt?

Yogurt.

Want some No.

What are you doing now?You got

something in your nose, so.

I want it. Well, did you

consider asking me first? I'd like to be

in charge of the items in my nose, if you

don't mind.

Hey, what are you doing now?

Peyton. Give me that.

Oh hey, so

it's a bad underpants?

Give me those, I'm at it here.

Thanks, darling.

Trying the best. Thank you, Amanda.

Amanda. Yeah. I'm just curious. How

many marshmallows can you fit in your

mouth? How many marshmallows can I fit

in my mouth?I need to know.

Can I have a huge bowl of marshmallows

please?

Thank you.

Sweet.

OK, here goes.

-

Well, I'm sorry, but that's all the time.

And marshmallows we have left. I got to

go alphabetize my sister. See ya.

These are fellow women's actual mouth.

Please people, I will take them home and

make my very own sweet Amanda Smores.

Oh, oh, get it, get it, get it. Why are

you? Why are you?

Amanda, please.