03x06 - Episode 6

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "The Amanda Show". Aired: October 16, 1999 – September 21, 2002.*
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A sketch comedy television program set in a universe in which it is broadcast as a popular television comedy (a show-within-a-show).
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03x06 - Episode 6

Post by bunniefuu »

What are we doing now, Penelope? I'm

going to use this rope to climb to the

top of the building. I will then blast a

hole in the roof and drop down right into

a man's dressing room. Please. Aren't

you like the psychiatrist appointment?

Mind your business, boy. Here

goes.

There now, make sure no one sees me.

We'll keep in touch via walkie-talkie.

OK, Penelope.

Please.

Preston, do you read me? Go for

Preston. I'm almost at the top of the

building, please. Over. Yeah, I could

see that. Will you make me a

sandwich? Over. No.

Over. Hi,

Amanda. You're Preston.

Preston. That's right. We've met before

now.

Preston over. But

I'm busy. Please, who are you talking to?

My sister. Could you stay and

meet her?I

would, but the show's about to start. I

got to get ready. Penelope.

Get bother me, boy.

See you around, Preston. OK. Bye, Amanda.

Hello, Pete. Guessing just came in and

talked to me. Oh, that idiot security

guard. No. Amanda. Amanda.

My name is Amanda and I come with your

choice of fries or onion rings.

Before we get started, I wanted to show

you guys this really cool karate move

that my instructor just taught me.

What was that? Because I, Amanda

Jacques, now could you

please?Do

not move please. And why

shouldn't I move because?I am

painting a portrait of you and if you

keep it wiggling about, I will not be

able to finish. Well,

can we possibly do this another time?

Because I really got to show these guys

this garage.

When do you think that this painting will

be finished?

It is done.

Oh, it is a masterpiece really. Could

we all see the painting?But of course.

Oh wow, that's really good. Isn't that

good, you guys?

Well, what's that behind me?

Oh, that is Drake how you say?

Falling from the ceiling. Why would

you paint Drake falling from the ceiling?

Stick around. We'll be back in a second

to do stuff. Woo.

This party is great, but my big toe is

so boring. My big toe is boring

too. It doesn't have to be.

What can we do?

Look, my beautiful big toe.

My big toes are ballerina.

My victo's a rock star. Welcome,

big toe. My big

toes a welder.

Awesome. Totally.

Say girls, what you doing?

What's going on here?

Perfect. My big toes are fairy

Princess.

My beautiful big toe comes with some of

what you see here. I love you,

Princess Toe. And I love you

too. I.

The girls room.

Hi, and welcome to the

Girls Room. OK, my name

is Amber, and if you look up popular in

the dictionary, you'll find me. I'm

Sheila. Anybody got a problem with that?

My name's Tammy. I'm an exchange student

from Tennessee. My name

's Elizabeth.

Your name is Debbie. Well,

yeah. But if my name were Elizabeth, it'd

be Elizabeth. Today is a

really exciting day in the girls room

because we're celebrating Amber's

birthday. And

since it's my birthday, I thought we'd

start the show with you guys giving me

presents. I want to go first.

You shouldn't have. Oh, I'm

sorry.

Give it. But you said I shouldn't have.

That's just an expression.

Oh look, this is my favorite expression.

Just open the present before Elizabeth

pushes me over the edge and I wonder

what it could be.

Eggs. Debbie got you a

dozen eggs for your birthday. What is

missing? I couldn't help myself.

He's so cute.

He oh, wait.

She. Excuse me, but aren't you late for

the stupid parade? We have a parade now.

To the love of brothers and sisters, can

I please get to my gift? Go ahead, Tammy.

Happy birthday, Amber.

Get it?

OK, OK. Stop it.

Stop.

Sheila, I'm way ahead of you,

Fireboy.

Bye bye. See you.

OK, Sheila, time for your present.

I hope you like it.

Well well look what the possum drag. Dan,

what are you doing here? Daniel

Spencer, I don't have as much right to be

in the girls bathroom as you people.

Hey, I like your dress, Danielle.

You should. It cost over $300.

Excuse me, won't you?

You know what? I just thought of a better

present. I'll be right back.

Happy birthday, Amber.

OK, well, that's our show. Remember,

I'm popular. I'm Southern

attitudinal. I'm Elizabeth.

Daddy, I like eggs.

And.

Thanks. Thanks. OK, you guys are here on

a really exciting night because in just a

second you're going to see a very cool

and slightly shocking episode of Moody's

Point. OK, You're

ready everybody. Moody's point.

Doctor Forrest, please dial 118.

Blew up a glove.

So.

Can I help you kids with today, Doctor?

Polyp. I want don't. Are you pregnant?

No, you're pregnant, aren't you? Come on,

you can tell me. No, I'm not

pregnant. I'm a boy. He's either snack

pants. Who is the doctor here?

Doctor Paul, I'm here

because I want to donate my toe to Moody

's father. Well, that's very magnanimous

of you, but I'm afraid it's quite

impossible. Why is it impossible? Because

the replacement toe would have to come

from a blood relative. Have you

looked everywhere for the missing toe?

Everywhere. We have no idea where it

could be.

Lift up.

Doctor Paula.

If a replacement toe has to come from a

blood relative, then. I'm going to give

my father my toe, Moody.

No.

I have to do this. Very well. We'll

have to take a blood sample, blood

sample, standard procedure, just to make

sure you're healthy.

Hello. Hello.

Mr. G Misty, I'm going to go get a

snack. Got the first

telephone, please. We got the first

telephone, please. Doctor

Kravitz, do you have a visitor in the

main lobby, Doctor Kravitz?Nurse,

is this the patient for the baboon heart

transplant? Yeah, I guess. Alright, let's

get into surgery.

But Dad. I don't

want your toe. I can take care of myself.

I'm fine.

Doctor Paula Murray, what are you doing

here? I'm afraid there's a problem.

What kind of problem? We compared Modi's

blood type with her father's. And

you're not his daughter.

It seems that you were switched at birth

with another baby.

You're not Moody, Fallon.

Doctor Crowded. You have a visitor in the

main lobby. Doctor Kravitz, a visitor in

the main lobby.

Oh, Doctor, was the operation of success?

Yes, ma'am, The baboon heart is b*ating

just fine.

Baboon hearts. What's that supposed to

mean? That's not my husband.

Oops.

You're so hurtful. When my parents find

out about this, they are going to be so

angry.

You can't believe this. Moody is not

my daughter. How can that be?

Babies get switched all the time. We just

like to keep it quiet because, you know,

people tend to get all upset about it.

And you think you'll be able to find out

who her biological parents are and who

the real Moody is? Oh yeah.

Or not. I don't really know. I barely got

through medical school. Well, good

night.

Moody's point will return in a moment.

And now back to Moody's point.

EW tow.

What he thought of her parents. My

parents?Yes, they're coming to your

house tonight. Guys, you all

have to be there with me, but tonight's

my gymnastics competition.

We'll get it.

I'll get it.

Moody. Yes,

hi, I'm a social worker. I'm

so sorry. Me too.

Anyway, your mom and dad are going to be

here in just a minute.

It's OK, Moody or whoever you

are. I wish the woman I thought was my

mom were here. Me too.

I wonder where she is.

I'm somewhere over Australia.

Modi.

What's this? Oh my gosh, what is this?

It's my husband's town.

Oh my gosh. My husband's

toe. What?

Now performing Misty range.

It's not fair. She's got a

baboon heart.

You're so hopeful.

Moody, Are you ready?

Yes.

Moody, I'd like you to meet your

parents. The worst Berks.

The flying worst perks?

Flying for circus people.

Hello Yolanda. Yolanda.

That's your real name.

Well, let's go. That's right. We have a

show this weekend. You've got a lot of

circus things to learn. You bet.

Hi everyone. Hi Yolanda.

Wait. I just want to tell

all of you how much each one of you means

to me, how much I'll miss you guys for

the rest of my life. Okay,

Are you all ready to meet the real Moody?

Come in, Woody.

I want to show you guys this really cool

trick that I can do with two straws.

Can I help you for you?

And what are

you doing in my bathroom?

And this isn't your bathroom.

Who are all these people?So

this is ATV show and that's the studio

audience TV show.

You mean people at home can see us right

now?

Millions of viewers.

Oh really?Well,

that's just great. I'm not

happy for you. Really. Thank you. Excuse

me.

You've got something.

OK, that's our show. I got to go. Shrink

wrapping octopus. See ya.

Amanda, please.
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